Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 144 - Bird Bath

Episode Date: May 21, 2018

Ricky, Julian and Bubbles answer more of your f**ked-up emails and talk about dating apps, a greasy Julian wang mould, and the Jackson 9. And who cut Bubbles' hair while he was asleep?!! Episode 144 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Liquorman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Cock. Cock. What are you saying, cock? Oh, my God? You know when you eat a piece of popcorn and there's just like a leftover dome. A little dome part. And it gets on your tongue and the air, it makes a suction onto the back. It's just weird you're going cock, cock, cock.

Open up your mouth like you wanted one shoved in there. Try to get it out of there. I wasn't saying cock, boys. I was just cock. Open up your fucking beard. Take a swig, man. I'll get rid of it. OK, this, when I crack this, this starts the podcast.

We ready? I'm fucked today, boys. I am fucked today. Fucked. She's underway. Nice. I was magical. She's underway. Nice. That was magical. I met him in his bandana.

In Atlanta, cabana. The cabana nana rana. It's a nice little song there, Rick. What song's that, Ricky? Camila Camano, or whatever it is. Camila Camano Or whatever it is Camilla Camano Yeah Who sings that one

I met him I met him in his bandana Atlanta ran a can of Met some dude in his bandana What the fuck does that even mean? You know the fucking song. It's a big one. Never heard of that one.

I met him in his bandana in Atlanta. What the fuck is... Is it Atlanta? Atlanta. Atlanta, Georgia? Atlanta, Georgia. You guys are so fucking stupid. Fuck you guys.

Okay. Okay, let's get it. What the fuck's going on, fuckers? This is the official Turlap Rep Boys podcast coming at you right now. This is episode 143, I believe. What in the fuck is wrong with your brain? 144. I didn't know that was...

You got one right there. I never read that shit. I laid it out for you. I don't read that shit. Clearly. Clearly, you do not. And it's Friday. What's the date then? Huh? Where's the fucking date on that?

No date. I didn't put the date on it. It's May. What are you talking about, man? Actually it is right there. It's May 18th. It is there. I did not read it. Like I just told you.

You fuck boys. I put it right at the first. I'm fucked up. I'm more fucked up. The playoffs, man. The playoffs are fucking killing us. Yeah. That's the problem.

Rocking the hockey playoff beard. Too many late games. I've been neglecting myself. How? You don't say. I haven't been shaving or showering or I still do the hair a little. I'm fucked. Fucking playoffs.

Yeah, Ricky, so. Do you have any wet wipes? I'd like to give the presidential suite down there a little clean up. Rick, you're not wiping your nuts on fucking during the podcast. No. With a wet wipe. Right after, though. That's called a bird bath.

Yes. You're not doing it. Bird and nut shack bath. Speaking of shaving your bath. Yes. You're not doing it. Bird and nut shack bath. Speaking of shaving your head, Ricky. I'm not doing that. No, you said something about you're not shaving or... Yeah, yeah. Which one of you cocksuckers

cut my fucking hair when I was asleep? Uh, I... I heard about it. Somebody look at my hair! Somebody cut my hair and then, I heard about it. Somebody, look at my hair. Somebody cut my hair and then I tried to fix it. This was all gone. Somebody cut that whole side off with scissors. Now I got a swirler up there

that I can't get under control. Your hair is fucked. My fold over's not. Yeah, you're not, man. I got a gap there where my fold over used to be. I could have did a better jobs than that Well who got it? It was one of you two. I know who did it, but I'm not gonna say I didn't do it Okay, I know who did it. It was it him. I'm not gonna. I'm not fucking I never touch the bite scissors. No

Well, it's not funny to cut a man's hair when he's fine. I fucking agree I would be paying somebody And somebody shaved down there. My unit. I'm not gonna tell you who did it, man. Did you shave my unit, Ricky? I did not shave it. Well, you better not have had scissors around it. I was strictly in charge of shaving cream.

No. Oh, so it was more than a one-man operation. So Corey and Jacob were involved. They were around when it happened, yes. Okay, then. I'll tell you right now. Corey and Jacob are both gonna be fucking bald. Well, you're lucky they had a weed whacker.

They're gonna wake up tomorrow bald. Somebody had a weed whacker out, and I shut that the fuck down. There was no stop to them, I'll tell you that. They were gonna cut my hair with a weed whacker? Well, they were gonna start somewhere else, but shut down. Yeah, you put a weed whacker near my wiener and you see what happens. They're all fired up.

You see what fucking happens. They're all fired up on tequila and some kind of weird pills Corey had for his condition. If they had to cut my wiener off with a weed whacker? Wonder if that's ever happened. For his condition. If they had cut my wiener off with a weed whacker, I wonder if that's ever happened. You better be thankful I was there, because they wanted to shave you dry. I'm like, boys, you got to at least use some fucking cream

or something. So you put shaving cream on my unit. And I put it on Cory's hand. What he did with it after that, I'm not sure. But if you're shaved, then I'm guessing it went on there. Hopefully he didn't do any tugging or anything. Ricky? Some people were supervising.

What the fuck was that? Santa. That's not Santa. Santa landing on the roof? He might have. Oh, man, no, no, no. I wish I would be a Santa. You wish you were Santa?

One of them. What? Why? What, a mall Santa? No, no, one of the real ones. How What? Why? What, a mall Santa? No, no, one of the real ones. How many is there, Ricky, in your mind? I don't know, what do you think? Four or five? There's got to be one for each country.

Four or five real Santas. Well, probably one main one, and then the, like, a president and then the vice president. Probably got, like, a vice president in Canada. So it's like a mob family. I think you have to run it like a business. There'd be no way to get it done. So you think he's making tons of cash, all these Santas?

I think it's non-profit. But you still got to run a non-profit thing like a business. Ricky. You're not gonna work. You'll be done. Just so you know, there's more than like four or five fucking countries. Yep. On this planet, okay? I know there is.

How many countries is it, Ricky? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I bet you there's at least 20, 25, probably more. Am I right? Am I right? Technically, you're right. Boom. But there's way more. All right, Julius, how many fucking countries? I think there's like, what, 194, 195? Something like that.

You're fucking... I think you might be bang on. I think it's 190. You guys are fucked. 25? 194, 195? Something like that? You're fucking... 94? I think you might be bang on. I think it's 190. You guys are fucked. 25? 194, I think. I won't be able to-

Google it, put it into the Googler. Fuck, I hate using this thing, man. Just Google it. How many countries are there in the world? If you're including water, maybe. How many countries? The water country. Are in the world?

195. 195. You in the world. 195. 195. You're shitting my ass. No. 195 countries, Ricky. That's a lot. More than I would have... Well, you know the show that we're on,

it airs in 193 of the fucking things. Oh, so two of them said fuck you, did they? Well, fuck you too. I believe so. That we're on. It airs in 193 of the fucking things. Oh, so two of them said fuck you, did they? Well, fuck you too. I believe so. Who am I fucking off to? Pretty sure Syria told us to go fuck ourselves. Well, it says here the total comprises of 193 countries that are members of State of the United Nations.

Two aren't. Who are the two nonners? Who are the fuckheads? Fuck, man. Little holdouts. Actually, I better be careful. They might be tough. They might come over and kick my ass. Something tells me Turkey told us to go fuck ourselves, too.

Turkey, Turkey! Turkey? Turkey? I believe you. I don't know, though. Well, fine. Guess what? I'm never fucking celebrating Thanksgiving again.

Hey Ricky. See what that does for your country, fuckers. Ricky, did you ever think of this? Did you ever think if Hungary and Turkey went to war? Get it? They'd probably get along though. They couldn't fight. Why?

Because one of them's hungry and one of them's food. Although the fucking hungry, they're gonna want it. They're gonna have the heart. Because they're like, holy fuck, look at those turkeys. Yeah, I think hungry would win. They're more motivated. Turkey's like, fuck. Turkey's gonna be on the run.

We better fucking stay away from those crazy bastards. They're starving to death. What if they went into Germany and attacked Hamburg? Hungry? Or Turkey? Hungry. Turkey and Hamburg, they'd probably get along. If you are hungry,

probably the two first countries you're going to want to take over, I guess. Because you look at those and go, we could win this. What the fuck is he going on about? Turkey and Hungary. It says here Taiwan is not on the list. The United Nations and the Cook Islands. They have to be because most shit you get comes from Taiwan. Taiwan? I don't know what the fuck to tell you. Remember the thing that says made in Taiwan?

You see that a lot. Yeah? You're used to it. Not as much anymore. It's a good place to get drunk. You know the thing that says made in Taiwan? You see that a lot. Yeah. You used to. Not as much anymore. It's a good place to get drunk. You know why? You should head over there and tie one on. Man, you were a fucking machine gun today. I got the jokes, baby. I got the jokes.

Is that what you call them, jokes? Tie one on. Tie one on. Tie one on. That's pretty good, Pops. I know it is. You don't gotta tell me. What's an ire? Ire?

Yeah, like an I-R-E. I don't know if there's such a thing. Celtic shit, man. Ireland is the land of ire. What is an ire? We're probably gonna read it and think, fuck, we're stupid. We should have known that. The land of ire. Ire. What is an ire? We're probably going to read it and think, fuck, we're stupid. We should have known that.

Ire. What is an ire? Anger, wrath, rage, passion. So it's a land of anger, wrath, and passion. Quite a combo. Yeah. Anger. Mostly anger.

Maybe I am Irish. Angerland. Angerland. That's what it is. Anger. Mostly anger. Maybe I am Irish. Angerland. Angerland. That's what it is. Angerland. Didn't know that. We should start our own country. Angerland. No, I'd rather live in Happyland.

No, Ireland's pretty good, though, man. What about in-betweenland? The who? What if we moved to sexland? Where is that? There isn't one, Ricky. How do you know there isn't one? Let me check it out. Sexland. There's no country called Sexland.

How do you know, man? There's a Sexton. Sexland? Sexland. It's probably a sex store down in Los Angeles. Sexland. I bet you there's a store called Sexland. I bet you there's a store called Sexland. It's probably a sex store down in Los Angeles. Sexland. I bet you there's a store called Sexland. South Korean tourists flock to Sexland.

What the fuck? There is a Sexland, man. It's not a country. It's a fucking store. Sexland. Traffic content. Oh, shit. Okay, what the fuck is this now? Watch this big cock jump. Oh yeah, there is a sex land. It's a dirty fucking place. Do you think?

Yeah, it's like love land. Love land without the love. The juju island. Juju island? Yeah. Hmm. It's just a place with's lots of Cock statues and shit Fucking people

In different bang positions How come you're on Expedia Bucking a flight? Get it? Yeah Real funny, man Flying to cock land Real funny, buddy

Flying to cock land As soon as you saw it Okay, boys Let's see who was born today Yeah Sounds like lots of fun, man Oh, Nicholas II Was born in. Yeah, sounds like lots of fun, man. Oh, Nicholas II was born in 1868, the last Tsar of Russia.

Who gives a fuck? The Russians. Bet you they don't even fucking care. They don't have a Tsar anymore? No, they've got a president. Yeah, I knew that. Putin. Vladimir Putin.

Yeah. You do not fuck with him. Richest man in the world. Who is Vladimir Putin. Yeah. You do not fuck with him. Richest man in the world. Who is Vladimir Putin? No, he's not. The Amazon guy is. No. Jeff Bezos. I guarantee you.

He's richer than Putin. I believe. I read that. The Amazon guy's the richest person in the world. That's because Putin hides it. He doesn't tell anybody. He's got unlimited fucking money. I'm guessing Putin's got...

The fucking Rothschild guy's got more than everybody anyway. He's another guy that keeps hidden. He doesn't fucking brag about it. Frank Capra was born 1897. Who's that? Who is that? Italian-American film director who made It's a Wonderful Life. Who gives a fuck?

Next. Okay, Frank Capra did not make your 1946 Reggie Jackson. Oh, fucking awesome. Jackson 9. Jackson what? Reggie Jackson, Ricky. He's a singer, no? No, Reggie Jackson.

In what band was he in? Jackson 9. Jackson 9.? No, Reggie Jackson. And what band was he in? Jackson 9. The Jackson 9. What number was Reggie Jackson? Who the fuck? 44. Got it. Google it.

Mr. October. Oh, fucking Jesus, yes, of course. Reggie fucking Jesus. He wasn't in the Jackson 9. Who would you put in the Jacksons to make it the Jackson 9? You could have Reggie Jackson. Samuel. Samuel L. Jackson.

That would be fucking awesome. Who else? We need two more. Two more? What other Jacksons are there? Jackson Brown. He's a good guy. And he's a singer.

But he's Jackson. He's got to be something. No, he could fit in the Jackson Brown. He's a good man. He's a singer. But he's Jackson. He's got to be something. No, he could fit in the Jackson nine. Jackson Brown and who else? Jack Johnson. No, he's not. No. He's not a Jackson.

Jackson, man. I'm getting stumped here. Who's another Jackson? Fuck. Jackson 5. I think I need to go to bed. Jackson 5. You've got to come up with a Jackson. I did. Help us over here.

Another one. We need one more. Google some famous Jacksons. Keith Jackson. Keith Jackson. Who's that now? Isn't he a country singer on The Voice? Keith Jackson?

I don't know, man. I don't know, Ricky. I think that's Keith Urban maybe you're thinking of. Here we go. Who do we got? What are you looking for? I don't know, Ricky. I think that's Keith Urban maybe you're thinking of. Here we go. Who do we got? What are you looking up?

Rebby Jackson. I don't know who that is. Jackie Jackson? No. Okay. Jackie Brown. You don't know how to search, man. You're dumb. So we've got the Jackson 5.

Throw in Reggie Jackson, Samuel L. Jackson, Jackson Brown, and... We need one more? Just a sec. I'm coming up with it, man. Just give me a sec. Who else do we got in the Jackson Nine? Oh, fuck. Janet Jackson.

Bo Jackson. Bo Jackson. Fuck six, man. Bo Jack Horseman. Yeah, he can fucking climb walls. Shoeless Joe Jackson. Shoeless Joe. Put him in the Jackson. Peter fucking Jackson. Fuck's sakes, man. Bo Jack Horseman. Yeah, he can fucking climb walls. Shoeless Joe Jackson. Shoeless Joe, put him in the Jackson. Peter fucking Jackson.

Peter Jackson. Fuck's sakes. Who's he? Lord of the Rings? Yes. Joe Jackson, Steven Jackson. Kate Jackson, hot. Kate Jackson? Okay, we've said Jackson too many times. Alan Jackson.

Alan Jackson, that's who I was thinking of, not Pete. Steven Jackson. Alan Jackson. Okay, we've said Jackson too many times. Alan Jackson. Alan Jackson. That's who I was thinking of. Steven Jackson. Alan Jackson. Fuck. Fucking Victoria Jackson. Jesus. Amy Jackson. So now we're up to the Jackson 21.

All right, who else? Oh, fuck. Randy Jackson. Randy Jackson. He's the music guy. You know. Yeah. Maybe I was thinking of him.

You combined. Three guys. Let's get the Jackson band together. Let's get all these people together, man. We should try to create the Jackson 19. Holy fuck. That would be cool. William Wallace was born on this day.

Freedom. What day? No, Ricky, this is... 1949. We fight for freedom! Ricky, this is William Wallace who played in the Guess Who. He was in the fucking Guess Who, too?

Fucking famous guy. 1949, Ricky. Think about it. 1949. There was no Braveheart shit going on in 1949. You don't know that. You think Braveheart played in the Guess Who? Fuck, what a lucky bastard. Well, not lucky.

He got dead. He got eviscerated. You think Braveheart played in the Guess Who? Willem Wallace did. Oh, my God. That doesn't even fuck that. How could your brain even fucking think that? Look what the fucking name.

I know, but think Dick 1949. 1949. It's more than one William Wallace, Ricky. 1949 was a good year. Oh, 1960, Gary Curry. Oh, man. Edmonton Oilers fucking dream team right there, baby.

Born in Helsinki, Finland. Gary Curry. Oh, man. Edmonton Oilers fucking dream team right there, baby. Yeah. Born in Helsinki, Finland. Yary Curry. He was a good fucking player, man. Tiki's buddy. Asa Tikkanen. Good friends. 1970, Tina Fey. Oh, I like her.

She's, you know, she is. Saturday Night Live. Dirty Rock. Dirty Rock. Hot or not hot? Yes, very hot. Yes, she's gorgeous, Tina Fey. Funny as fuck. Smart.

Funny. Brings her up on the hot scale because of the funny. She's super funny. Oh, Jack Johnson, 1975. Oh my God, what a fucking terrible name. Why? I wonder if he always is. What a fucking terrible name. Why? I wonder if he always is.

What? Always is what? Jack is Johnson. Actually, I wish that was my name. You're like, yeah, that's right. How you doing, Jack Johnson? Give her a little Jack, bud. Ricky.

Can you imagine if Jack Johnson went to our school with him around? I wonder if his middle name is Yor. What? His middle name is Yor. Jack Yor Johnson. Oh, my God, that would be spectacular. Oh, my fuck, man. How you doing?

Jackie Johnson. Right now, please. Why would you even want to see that? Like, why? Man. Just to compare. See if you're normal. You're fucked, Ricky.

Well, that wasn't much of a list, but those are the people born. Cheers to you, Jackie Johnson and William Wallace. March 18th, May 18th. William Wallace. How did he say it? I forget. You could take our... Trees. Homes.

No, trees. You might take our something, but you'll never take our freedom. Yeah, that's it. Freedom. What did he say? You might take our homes or horses. Or whores.

You might take our whores. I don't think he made that speech. I wonder if that's where George Michael got the lyrics for that song. Freedom. Oh, yes. Freedom. Definitely. Because George Michael was really into rally cries and fighting battles.

He was super into that. George Michael died, didn't he? He did. Yeah. That's terrible. That is terrible, yeah. That's terrible. That is terrible, man. He was excellent. But you gotta have faith that he's gonna come back. Well, it would be nice

if I could touch your body. Don't know everybody. He's got a body like Julian. We got ghosts in here. Ghost. There's no such thing as fucking ghosts in here. Ghosts. There's no such thing as fucking ghosts, Ricky.

Here we go again. Ghosts can go fuck themselves. I got a little bit of a warning for you, Bubbler. What? You've been on those dating sites. There's a little fucking warning. I've looked on them, but I've never contacted anybody. You've never gone on a date with any of them?

No, nobody's ever contacted me. Oh, that sucks. Sorry, man. No. Anyway, this crazy fucking woman, Jacqueline Adis, or Adz, or I don't fucking know how you pronounce it, from Phoenix, went on one fucking date with this guy she met online. Guy wasn't interested, but she thought he was her soulmate.

Texted him 65,000 fucking times in three months. Sounds like Susan. It sounds exactly like Susan. No. She would never text me that much. She can be a little crazy at times, but Susan is normal, boys. She's normal. She just gets angry.

65,000. That is excessive. Over what period? Months. Jesus, that is a lot. I met him on Lexi. I guess it's a dating site for verified millionaires. So she was fucking trying to get some money, I'd say. So what? Was she crazy? She fucking lost her mind. She thought there was a soulmate.

She's going to keep trying. She thinks she's going to marry him. Was she being nice at least? She's got those crazy eyes. Oh, she's got the Jimmy eyes. Yeah, when you're crazy and you don't think you're crazy, you don't know you're crazy. It makes you extra crazy.

Look her up. Right down the old well. See if we can get a picture of her. Oh, I've watched an interview with her. But was she being nice in the tax office? No, not what? Who was she? Who am I looking up?

What's this fucking person's name? Just say, woman sent man 65,000 text messages. I'm sure it'll pop up. Holy fuck. Crazy. Imagine 500 texts a day. Yeah, but if it's 500 texts of you saying, hey, you're so awesome. No, no, they weren't all nice.

Look, here's a couple. Don't ever try to leave me. I'll kill you. I don't want to be a murderer. Oh, yeah, that's a bad one. Right there. That's a red flag. Can I say this word on air? Which word? Oh, yes, you can say it.

She said it. I'm just repeating it. I hope you die, you rotten, filthy Jew. That's terrible. It's not a great one. That is terrible. I'm like the new Hitler. Man was a genius. Oh, my God. Oh, what I'd do with your blood. I want like the new Hitler. Man was a genius. Oh, my God. Oh, what I do with your blood.

I want to bathe in it. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, yeah, no. He hooked into it. He hooked into a live one. He hooked into a crazy one there. Then she broke into his home and took a bath. Yeah.

And she also showed up at his work pretending to be his wife. Oh, yeah. One date. She's got to screw loose, poor thing. She needs help. Yeah, I'm'm gonna get a video going so i'm just saying and i hope the woman gets help how many verified millionaire websites do you think i frequent i'm not on luxie or whatever you called it no but oh yeah she looks fucking crazy let's see a picture of her. Let's see a crazy picture.

Check this out. Oh, yeah. It's all in the fucking eyes. She's got the jammy eyes. Look at that. She's got the jammy eyes. Fucking crazy shit. I hope she gets some help. I feel bad for her.

She thinks she found the love of her life, soulmate, and she did not. So that is a warning. There's got to be a video or something over here, isn't there? But she also went to a psychic that said she was going to meet a fucking angel or something. See, they're right there. People shouldn't be going to fucking psychics because psychics are full of shit. Well, she probably went to a cheap psychic. And they put ideas in people's heads and then they believe them and they go out and do crazy stuff.

You don't go to the cheap ones, okay? There's someone out there that are kind of legit. You really think people can see into the future? Well, there's... Think about that. You never know, man. Think about that. Whoa. I think it could be true. What's true? Psychics?

Yeah, man. Oh, my fuck. People can see into the future. But I can't understand. Some of them are spot on with some shit that they'd never know. Because they talk in vageties. Just enough to... you can fucking fill in the blanks yourself. That's how they work. What's a vagety?

They're very vague. Oh, okay. Like if I say to you, Oh, Ricky. Yes? You're gonna go somewhere today. I am going somewhere today. I am going somewhere today. I'm going to the mall.

Oh, my God. See that? Okay. I saw Into the Future. You're going to go to the mall, and I... Oh, I think you're going to steal something. Oh, shit. I can't talk about that in front of Bubbles.

You know what we've got to do? You've got to sit and... You've got to talk to Tom Arnold, man, because he was on one of those shows. He was a non-believer, now he believes. Well, that's good for Tom Arnold. Give him a fucking little chat, a little call. That's good for Tom Arnold.

And he's pretty normal. Well, I mean, he's not fucking normal, but... Tom Arnold? I love Tom Arnold. I love him, too. You could have been banged up on pills talking to this person or something, maybe. He doesn't do pills anymore. What the fuck is this? He may have been talking to her years back.

What is that? Potato in a bag. Oh. That's from, uh... Yeah, Idaho spot. That's a famous candy bar. That's a bar? Well, it's like a...

It's not a very good name for a bar. Like, it doesn't make me want to jump into the package and... I got one of those. Beer, beer. Do your cock thing again. Swig of beer. No, sw one of those. Beer, beer. Do your cock thing again. Swig of beer. Cock! No, swig of beer.

You don't, when that happens, you don't go cock, cock. Here, see if this helps. Ricky. What? I could've cut my tongue off. Talking to it, you sound like Darth Vader, maybe. Talking. I don't know how to do that

Luke I am your Luke I am your Put it right in your mouth man The whole thing I'm not putting that in my mouth Okay you put it in yours

Air that thing out a bit Okay Alright Just wait I got hair in here. Are you gonna... Fuck. What am I trying to say here? Fuck off, brain.

You wanna see some more emails from the band? That's what I was gonna... Hey, see? That was dolphin shit right there. That's what I was gonna tell you, but I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. Dolphin shit? What are you talking about?

You knew what I was brain thinking. Here, why isn't this... Okay, let's see. This is from Danielle Raposo. It says... Hi, Raposo. Julian, keep this in mind for some easy cash. I'm sure you can get more with those sexy-as-fuck muscles

or pimping out Randy. Love, Danielle. So what's the deal? Pimp over Randy? Damn, so uploading your homemade to Pornhub really pays. Very interesting. What? Holy fuck, this one uploaded a homemade porno to Pornhub.

Got a check for 40 grand. Shut up. You gotta be fucking kidding me. 40 grand? We should dig out some of to be fucking kidding me. 40 grand? We should dig out some of the ones I made with J-Rock years ago. 40 grand. That's what it says. Holy shit. We're in the wrong fucking business.

Okay, how many of you should get going and get 40 grand? I don't know, but... So these cameras right now could easily be filming something going on right on this table. 40 grand. Boom. We could get Corey and Jacob in here. Do you and Susan ever tape your sessions,

Bricky, or what? What? Do you guys ever, like, videotape your sessions? Yeah, man. Fuck, my computer died. Oh, that's fucking wonderful. That's great. Guess that's the only one we're doing today. Oh, Bob, are you fucking kidding me? Well, she died on me.

He's got a machine. You got a machine? Well, how the fuck do you get on there? You gotta do it. Oh, just wait. It doesn't seem to be dead. Just went...

Just saying, fuck off from me. Just went black on me. I wish I could be a computer voice. That's what I would do. I'd talk with people. What the fuck is that?

That's my login. Wow, you look fucked in that picture. I was hung over, Ricky. That's the night we went, that's the night we had the tequila drink competition. Oh. Remember? I drank 40 shots.

I almost died. I would do it. Okay, back to the porn and the $38,000 check. Yes, let's get it going. Ricky, we could probably get some of your fucking action, cut it together. If I wear a mask and Susan agrees to it, why not? 40 fucking grand, that's a life changer. What would you do in the video?

What type of video? You know what she's like. I bet it would be watched a lot. Well, what would you do, Ricky? I'd just say do... What category would it be in if I searched it? Scared. Scared.

I usually am a little, yes. She is a fucking nightmare. In a good way, I guess. Okay, you know what? We should look into doing something like this. And to take the risk down, what I can do is pay you 500 bucks for every 15 minute clip you have,

right out of the gate. You're gonna buy, so you're offering to buy nude video of Ricky. Bang it. Bang it. 500 bucks. Is this a blurred video or is it wide open? No, no, full on, man. It's porn, huh?

And I can wear something? I can disguise myself a little bit just so my gram's under the... Get as crazy and as... See my wiener? Totally, get as crazy and as freaky as you want to get, man. I don't think there's any worries there, bud. There you are, you little popcorn cocksucker. Did you get us?

I got ya. I got him. He was welded right to my tongue. Here's one from Christopher Glurza. Suckers, I got you. Did you get us? I got him. He was welded right to my tongue. Here's one from Christopher Galerza. Please do Ricky's googly searches again. That was by far my favorite episode. Googly searches? Maybe even make it in a regular segment where you have him explain two or three searches.

I also suggest you do live podcasts. Seem to be going over really well for a lot of people. That's a great idea. Oh, God. Maybe even do a joint podcast. It would be amazing, for instance, having you guys guest host Small Town Murder or Time Sock. Those guys are hilarious, and I think your vibes would match real.

What the fuck is this guy talking about? What is that? P.S. Tell Julian, WWPSD, what would Patrick Swayze do? Huh? What? I don't know, sounds like he's all cranked up. He's trying to be funny? Also, please bring your booze to the States, I want to try your stuff.

It keeps turning off on me! I think you're getting too close to it. Oh, I might be pushing this button. You're pushing the power button. Oh, for fuck's sakes. Okay, well, I don't know how to work it. I never claimed I did. If I was your computer, I'd be fucking with you soon.

You know what, bud? Fuck you for a second. I'm gonna take a little break. Here, let me log back in. Oh, my Christ. This is shit. But, you know, he did have a good idea. We should be doing fucking these things, like, somewhere else. Good with me.

Like in a bar or something. All right, good with me. Do a live podcast in a bar. Let's go somewhere exotic. Yes. We can go across the bridge to... Let's go do one in Thailand. Fiji.

We don't have the money to go to fucking Thailand. I like their water, Fiji. But we can go across the bridge to Halifax and hit some bars there. It's a great idea. Well, okay. Patrick Hossman. Hello, Patrick. Hi, my name's Patrick Hossman, big fan.

Seen it a bunch of times, every line. Bubbles, you are my favorite. Doesn't say that. Me. Don't get me wrong. I love Ricky and Julian, too. But, Bubbles, you are my man. He has a crush on you.

Bubbles, I have a question for you. Out of all the jobs you have done on the show, what was your favorite? I love the beer company the best. It would make me so happy if you could write back to me and we could talk more. Stay cool. Patrick Haussmann. There you go. He's in Massachusetts. Yeah, I hope he's not on that site, Luxie. Maybe you guys could go on a date and start texting. He really likes you, man. Yeah, soul mates. Digging you big time.

Well, I just think he's a nice fella. I'm not going to try to date him, for fuck's sake. You should. Don't knock him, man. Ricky, I'm not looking to date a man. All right. Well, things haven't been going that great with the lady department lately there, bud. Out of all the jobs I've done, what one was my favorite? Well, I mean, my shopping cart business was always the best one.

That's the one you did the longest. Kitty Land Love Center would have been the best business I ever had if you didn't fuck it up. I didn't fuck shit up. Ricky, you opened a garbage store. Successfully. You opened fucking Garbage Land. Yep. Other people's garbages and other people's un-garbage.

Yep. And I do like the beer company. Look what it turned into. Look at that. Half thirty-five, baby. Told you. Told you it'd fucking work. Okay. Are we done? Gotta go to the mall. Yes, I know.

A psychic told you. Yeah, if you wanna send in your MWAH! Jesus Christ, man. You alright? You turned into a chicken. No, I've got these little popcorn things. Stop eating the fucking popcorn. They get suctioned to the back of your thing. Your uvula. Your dangler. I got one...

Here, open up. I got one suctioned... Ricky, you're not gonna stick a lung brush in me. A tongue brush? That'll clean your tongue like fucking Noah DeMora. Yeah. Clean the tongue right out of your head. Has been in a couple places you've been. Stick a lung brush in me. A tongue brush. That'll clean your tongue like fucking Noah DeMora. Yeah. Clean the tongue right out of your head.

Has been in a couple places you wouldn't want to know about, though. If you want to send your questions, send them to CoreyRandyTreverson at gmail.com. CoreyRandyTreverson. Is that all one word? All one word. See, that's the lingo. It doesn't matter about caps in an email.

Okay. They're not like a password. Corey Randy Traverson, go, uh, who sponsors us? Nobody. The merch shop on trailerparkboys.com. Trailerparkboys.com. And go there and buy some shit, please. And penispipes.org.

Go pick up your, oh, boys, you know what we forgot? What did we forget? Did you see who fucking talked about us on the internet? Oh, yeah, yeah. Kendall Jenner. That was pretty fucked up. Kendall Jenner said she watches the show. She said, I love it.

That's fucked. She said, it's so stupid, it puts me to sleep. But she did say, I love it. Kendall Jenner. That's pretty crazy. Yeah. I think, isn't it? It's very crazy, Ricky.

You should text her a fucking email or something, man. Get a hold of her. I don't know. I wouldn't know. You should text her 65,000 times. See if she gets back to you. I don't know how to text her 65,000 times. Well, get on one of the Twitter things.

You should text her. She's a supermodel. She's going to be more apt to be drawn to your sexual muscles. Buzz, that's fucked. All right, I'm going to try to get over here. She's got 100 million followers, Ricky. Holy shit. Is that a lot?

100 million. 100 million. I mean, comparatively. To who? Anyone. Yes, it's a lot. I think it's the most. That is fucking, wow.

Well done. What does she do for it? Or how does it happen? I don't know. She's just like a, I don't know what she does. She's on the fucking Kardashians, man. She's a super model, man. She's got like businesses all over the fucking place.

Is she smart? She's hot and shemodel, man. She's got, like, businesses all over the fucking place. Is she smart, though? She's hot, and she's smart, obviously. Some of those supermodels are not fucking very bright. I bet you she could come up with some greasy business ideas for you. Fuck yeah, man. Maybe you could start selling Kendall Jenner mugs or something. Or take a mold of your wang.

I'm not going to take a fucking mold of my wang. Jesus. The Julianator. Oh, man. I bet people would buy it. Fuck off. Buy your anatomically cracked Julian molded wang. Puffs.

The Julianator. I will try to get a hold of her, okay? You're right. She probably does have some. Four inches of pure steel. Julian's main muscle. You're pretty funny,, okay? You're right, she probably does have some... Four inches of pure steel. Julian's main muscle. Pretty funny. We had to change it to a three to one ratio

just to fit it in the box. Yeah, he's been working it out. Working it out? Tying some weights off it. I have been fucking dangling weights. If anybody would like to order the Julianator, anatomically correct sculpture of Julian's wang, please email us at coryrandytraverson at gmail.com.

No, don't fucking email anybody. When Julian's asleep, I'll get out some plaster and a vase. You're going to have to make it. I'll fucking shoot you, bubs. We'll mix up some plaster in a mug, drop it in, wait for it. Is it gonna be soft? I don't know, I guess. Boys, you don't need to know that's happening.

You can jiggle it, Ricky, until it winks. Nobody's jig boys. Tongs. Come at me, come at my cock. Jiggle it with some tongs. Until she stands at attention. If you're gonna do it, yeah, I mean, you should jiggle tongs. We'll put it in a mug of plaster. You diddle me with the tongs until she stands at attention. If you're going to do it, yeah. You jiggle me with some tongs.

Nothing's going to happen, believe me. I guess you could do both. Here's how it started. Here's what it turned into. You get clacked the whole set. Yeah, you could do one in between, I guess. That's not happening. Yeah, we're going to do it. I'm taking a cast of it when you're asleep. Different sizes for different needs.

Putting it in a coffee mug full of popcorn. Just so you know, I'm gonna be sleeping with a gun under my pillows, so... Well... And I will sue you. You shaved my head, I'm taking a cast of molding your penis. I didn't, who shaved your fucking head? Somebody cut my hair. Take a cast of his cock. He's one of the fucking dead.

I've cast my cock already. Well, give it to him then. Or you want to do it, don't you? You want to cast a cock. I just think I'd make more money off it. Yeah, you'd have a good time with it too, I bet. And it comes with a cardboard cutout of you. We just stick it right to the front

with a suction cup. And then you back right into it, wouldn't you? Yep. All right. We could sculpt this whole body, I guess. We're not going to sculpt any part of it, you fucking weird bastard. Muscle suits. Fuck off. I should.

I'm done. You can be Julian's exact size. You guys can fuck off. Julian's exact size, anatomically correct muscle structure. Yeah, you guys are fucked. Made with latex and cotton. We could make some money making a Julian Mazel suit. I think so.

Wouldn't be that hard. It's kind of like what they use for Batman. Yeah. We could probably use his suit for Batman and sell it to them. Batman would be all of a sudden bigger. All right, I gotta go to the mall. All right, Ricky. Say bye. You think I'm all right to drive. All right, Ricky. Say bye.

You think I'm all right to drive? Ricky, don't drink and drive. I meant to dope. All right. I'm good. See you next week. Music