Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 145 - Cloak Filtered Super Jesus Glacier Water

Episode Date: May 28, 2018

Ricky gets us learnt about why octopuses are aliens, buying new vocal chords, and why his TV was always broken as a kid! Plus: The Boys talk about greasy-as-f**k deleted scenes from Sesame Street, and their new plan to make a fucking mint from bulk holy water! Episode 145 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Liquorman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Ricky? Yes? I just sat that there. Ricky? Yes? I just sat that there. Don't know.

Must have been, uh, must have been Julian. Did you eat mine? I didn't. I've got mine right here. Get your eyes off my popcorn, man. You ate my fucking popcorn. I don't think so. I've been colored. Anyway. How's it going, boys?

It's going awesome. It's going great, man. Other than somebody ate my popcorn, no big deal. We'll get that figured out. Holy fuck, people are stupid. I feel pretty good after I slept for a couple days. Holy fuck. I was fucked up, boys. I needed a good rest. You had two days to sleep in, man. That'll...

That fucking long weekend killed me last... last weekend. Well, Ricky, you overdo it. That's why. You overdo it. Yeah. You don't know how to just have a couple drinks and have fun. Ended up with my whole body shaved. Mm-hmm. Except for my head, thank God.

Did you ever figure out who did it? I'm pretty sure it was Corey and Jacob, but not 100%. Why, look, I have some intel. They were on mushrooms. I have some intel, and I can tell you 1,000% it was not Corey and Jacob. Who the fuck was it? Was it one of you dicks? I'm not telling you, 1000%, it was not Corey and Jacob. Who the fuck was it? Was it one of you dicks? I'm not telling you, no. It was not us.

You'd be very surprised if you found out who it was. Male or female? Female. You're fucking joking me right now. No, I am not, Richard. It was a female getting up there in her years. And she was drunk and she shaved you. And she had a good time fucking doing it.

I have solid intel. She fucked up my playoff period. Now this is all I got. Fucking Stanley Cup finals are here. And? This is all I got. Fucking Stanley Cup finals are here. And I have it on good intel that when she was shaving your wiener,

Yes? she may have gave it a little one of those. Well, that was pretty kind of her, whoever it was. If you knew who it was, you might not be saying that. Probably. Doesn't matter who it was. Well, she gave you a tug anyway. Here. This is going to start.

Let's start the podcast. Oh, baby. Brought to you by Freedom 35, which is about to go right down my yapper. Looks pretty good, man. All right, want me to get this going? Yeah, as well. What's up, fuckers? It's official Triler Prep Boys podcast.

Carmen and I have no idea what is 145. Podcast number 145. It's May the 25th. Yes, sir. May 2-5 weekend. May 2-5 weekend. Is that a thing? Oh, well.

May as well fucking get her going It's gonna be another weekend May as well get her going That's the whole month of May for you, right? What's that other thing? May the May the May be with you May the 4th

Oh, we missed that May the 4th be with you That was three weeks ago, Ricky Okay May the 4th be with you They say that about Star Wars on May 4th. That's right. Yanny. Yanny.

Don't get into that shit, man. Yanny. It's not Yanny, for fuck's sakes. Laurel. Laurel. It's more like a Yanny. Yanny. Yanny. Yanny.

It's fucking fucked is what it is I could hear both man Apparently if you're You hear Yanny you're an alien If you hear Laurel you're human That's not right That's not right Ricky Different ears

That's how they weed them out That's not right Ricky I believe in aliens as you know But that is not correct intel there. It's all science. A lot of shit is alien. Probably us. When that asteroid hit, I guess a bunch of eggs and shit flew off of it and got growed into a...

Alien eggs. Yeah. And that's why we're here? Octopuses, there's a... Them's are aliens. Octopuses are aliens, are they? Yeah, a bunch of creatures are. I've been getting learnt on a lot of this shit

because it freaks me out. I've always been freaked out by the octopuses because they can do what they do. What? Like flick their colors. Mm-hmm. They can. If there was an octopus that was on that brick wall right there, he wouldn't even see them.

No, he could mimic that. It's an alien. Just like a chameleon, right? The lizards. Well, it's just too much for Quincy's. When that big fucking comet or asteroid hit, all of a sudden there's all these new fucking comet or asteroid hit. All of a sudden there's all these new fucking things getting growed.

Half are fucking planets probably from outer space. The fuck is he talking about? He read something on the fucking. Then an asteroid hit us and then that's, the eggs came off. Around the time that there was big asteroid that wiped out, you know, some things, some new things started to evolve. What the fuck was that noise?

That was nothing, Ricky. There's some workers up on the roof. Anyway, it's fun to do drugs and read. I wish I would have known that was in school. All you got to do is just get on drugs and you fucking want to read. You want to get learned. You smoke a lot of drugs, man. I try to keep up with you on the weekend.

Impossible. You smoked 67 joints in one day, man. Did I really? Yes, each day. That's not a record, but it's a lot. That's a... 67 joints in one day. I could smoke 25 joints in one day, and that's like going, holy fuck.

The mushroom pizza, not a great idea. I mean, it was a great idea, but who knew? Just wait, 67 joints over what period? One day. In a 24-hour period? 24 hours. Okay. It was actually a 26-hour day, because I got up at 8, and I didn't go to bed until 10.

What is that? Let's see here. Get out my calculator. That's got to be up there with Snoop Dogg. 3.16 joints. How many joints? 24 hours divided by 67 joints. It's a joke.

Hey, Siri. How many joints does Snoop Dogg smoke in one day? Here's what I found on the web for how many joints does Snoop Dogg smoke in one day. Here's what I found on the web for how many joints does Snoop Dogg smoke in one day. Have a look. We were getting that asshole swearing on the long weekend. Remember that? That was fun.

She kept saying fuck a bunch of times. 67 joints divided by 24 hours. That's 2.7 joints an hour. That's a fucking joke. That's an average day. 2.7 joints an hour. That's a fucking joke. That's an average day. 2.7 joints an hour, but that's every hour for 24 hours. That's almost 3 joints an hour. 26, I guess. So that's a

joint. You're smoking a joint every 24 minutes. Smoking a joint every 20 minutes. Every 20 minutes, you're smoking a joint for 24 hours straight. Ricky, that's too much. That's too much. That's too much weed for a fella. Good save.

Why? It said the snoop went 164 days gun jet free. That was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. He smokes a whopping 81 blunts a day. 81, that's an odd number. Why don't you stop at 80? Because he says, fuck it, I'm going to have one more, baby.

That's seven days a week, man. I'm going to smoke one more, baby. Look, I always thought you were smoking 67. You're right up there. I guess I got to up the intake a little. Snoop's blunts are fucking bigger than Ricky's joints. Yeah, they're crazy blunts. But you know what? We've seen Snoop Dogg.

He does, he lights them constantly, but he hands them off, too. I mean, I'm not saying he doesn't smoke that many, but I don't think he smokes them by himself. He's always got his boys, and he just lights and hands off. How come you pussies didn't eat any of that mushroom pizza? Because I didn't want to be on fucking mushrooms?

An undisclosed amount? It was too much. But, man, you know what? It tasted good. Did it? Yep. But we were fucked. Fucked.

You were? No, I was pretty fucked up. I don't know what happened with Marguerite, because she was fucked. Marguerite, because she was fucked. Marguerite? Yeah. Well, she might have got her clippers out, Reckie. Is that code for titties?

No, her clippers, her razor. No. You are shitting me sideways. Just saying. There's a good chance she got her hair clippers out. Oh my fuck! She's gonna fucking... Oh, shut up. Huh?

This is a public fucking display? Pretty public. Yeah, everybody was there, man. About nine people confirmed it to me. Oh my fucking God. Including Donnie. Donnie was passed, too, because he likes Marguerite. So he's not happy that she tugged your bird.

Was I passed out or was I in just one of those states where... Your eyes were open, but you were passed out. They say that they were shaven down by your leg, and that's when you got a bit of a woody on. Popped a boner. You grabbed it yourself in your sleeve. You shouldn't be touching my inner thighs. It's a sensitive area.

It's a trigger zone. Yeah. They call it. Anywhere down there within a 16-inch radius is very sensitive. Anywhere within 16 inches of his bird is going to make him pop a boner. It may not pop, but it'll tingle. What if somebody shot the whole thing? Like on their phone?

I hope so. I can't believe you let Marguerite shave me and give me a tug. No, you weren't. You obviously were there. I was not there. How'd you know so many details? Because nine people confirmed it to me, including Donnie, and Donnie does not lie. He screams, but he does not lie.

Well, guess who's never getting my Ricky's mushroom pizza again? Her name starts with M and rhymes with... Delegarete. Mm-hmm. Okay, that's a good one. Rhymes with what? Delegarete. Um, so what are we talking about? I don't know, man. rhymes with what? Deliverit. So what are we talking about?

I don't know, man. Who got born on this fine day? Anybody we can celebrate? Not that we need any excuse. I believe I have that information right here. Do people really give a fuck about this? No. Yes. This is very popular.

It's a very popular segment. People will not, they'll revolt if we don't do this. I don't believe that. 1939, sir, Ian McKellen. Who gives a fuck? Ian McKellen's family, that's who. What was he now? Ian McKellen.

He's an English film and theater actor, Ricky. He was in Lord of the Rings. Oh, that guy. X-Man, he played Gandalf. Yeah, I know him. Big tall cocksucker. He was in Lord of the Rings. Oh, that guy. X-Man. He played Gandalf. Yeah, I know him. Big, tall cocksucker. He was a good guy.

Spoke 15 feet tall. He likes to get drunk, I heard. Frank Oz, 1944. From The Wizard of Oz? No, Frank Oz was a guy on The Muppet Show. He did Grover. He was a puppeteer. He was a good Grover.

Can you do Grover? I can do Grover. He was the puppeteer. He was a good Grover. Can you do Grover? I can do Grover. That's pretty good, man. Grover. Grover like. Grover like weed. Can you do any Muppet voices, Ricky? Kermit the Frog here.

That's pretty good. You're good at those. Do one, Ricky. Do Fozzie Bear. What's he do? Waka, waka, waka. I'm fine. Fozzie Bear.

I don't remember his voice. What about Miss Peggy? I used to be able to do her pretty good. Do it. I don't remember her now. Kermie. Oh, yeah. Remember? Yeah, no, I to do her pretty good. Do it. I don't remember now. Kermie! Oh yeah. Remember?

Yeah, no, I can't do that good. Clow me from behind, Kermie! Who was that crazy bastard? Get your big green wiener in me! Who's that guy? Manom, Manom! Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do do do do do. Manama num. Do do do do do. Animal?

Animal never did manama num. Who was he doing then? Animal didn't talk, did he? Well if he did, he'd sound like me. He just freaked out on the drums. Fuck, he was badass on the drums. No, he did manama num. He was manama num, man.

Who was? Animal, wasn't he? I don't fucking know. Animal was not manama num. Nobody cares, bubs. That's what I'm saying. We're just talking about a lot of shit that nobody gives a fuck about. What about Beaker?

You used to do a mean Beaker. Beaker? I can't do it anymore. No, try it, Ricky. Come on. Beaker! No, I can't do it. Yeah, do it.

It's close. I can't get up there. Try it again. I needed a drink first. Try it again. I'll be Bunsen Honeydew and you'll be Beaker. Okay, you start off. Bunsen Honeydew and you'll be Beaker. Okay, you start it off. Bunsen Honeydew here.

Beaker, get me a thing. I can't, it's hurting my mind. Beaker, get me a thing over here. I can't do it, man. Oh, it hurts my fucking brain. Ow! No, I do that guy. Remember, you do him. Borshty, borshty, borshty. Do the Swedish chef, Ricky. Come on.

I don't, my brain's not bringing it up. Borshty, borshty, borshty. Remember? You got these guys all down. Yeah. What about Sesame Street? You need to be calling. Remember we all used to do Sesame Street?

Yeah. Big Bird. Remember you went out as Big Bird on Halloween one year, but all you did was hang your bird out of your house. Yeah. You're a big bird. You're a big bird. You're a big bird.

You're a big bird. You're a big bird. You're a big bird. You're a big bird. You're a big bird. You're a big bird. Yeah, what about Sesame Street? Remember we all used to do Sesame Street? Yeah. Big Bird, remember you went out as Big Bird on Halloween one year but all you did was hang your bird out of your zipper. People were like, what are you doing? I'm Big Bird. People thought it was funny but then they said it's not really that big, bud. It's just average. That was the problem, it wasn't that big.

Well, you're only nine. Yeah. So, you know. It's hard to keep a herd on that long. Well, you're only nine. Yeah. So, you know. It's hard to keep a herd on that long. Jesus, Ricky. See, that's the problem. You don't walk around with a woody, man. I had to tie it off.

Seeing your big bird. I forgot it was herd, Ricky. I forgot that was the joke, that it was hard. Big Bird, hey, look, I'm Big Bird from Sesame Street. That was funny. Didn't Ray tell you to dress up as Big Bird or something? Some of the kids were like, whoa, because they'd never had a heart on before. Yeah, I don't remember that part. No, I don't remember that part, man.

Weird. What about Ernie and Bert, remember? Those guys were decent. I hated them, man. Weird. What about Ernie and Bert, remember? Those guys were decent. I hated them, man. Hey, Bert. I fucking hate Ernie and Bert. Why? I hate them. I don't like those guys. Ernie. Remember Bert used, Ernie used to pull Bert's nose off? Yeah.

Wouldn't give it back. Those guys were baked, for sure. Ernie. You gotta be baked to want I pull someone's nose off. Yeah, there's the laugh. Now, don't do that, man. See, you're fucking giving me a shower when you do that shit. I think that's why I hated those characters, man.

Bert was into pigeons. That was weird. Why do you think he used to finger them? I bet you if you investigated it. Well, Mike Tyson's into pigeons. You think he's fingering a bunch of pigeons? No, I don't think Mike Tyson fingers pigeons. Why would Bert be fingering?

Just some of the things he said. About them, you know, laying eggs and the size of them and stuff. You think he's what? I think he said something about that, how does an egg fit in there. I wonder with my fingers. What? I think that was on an episode.

It must have been one of the deleted scenes. I think it was one of the deleted scenes from the DVD box set. I don't think so. Bert had one and he was looking at it like this, going, oh, egg fit in there. Bert and Ernie, too crazy for TV collection. If an egg fits in there, how come I can't?

Maybe I get my fingers in there, he said. We should try to find the lost tapes. I ain't sure. The Bert and Ernie? One thing I don't get, they always have the B and the E above their beds, right? What the fuck's that for? Bert and Ernie. I know, but in case, what, are they getting home fucking wasted?

And what fucking bed's mine? B, that's my bed. It does happen. See, there's something more to that fucking, that thing, man, that whole Bertner-y thing. Yeah. Those writers are fucked. Well, if you want to get talked about really fucked, how about Casey and Finnegan and Mr. Dressop. What's so fucked up about them? What? Mr. Dressop had a little boy living in a tree in his backyard. That is fucking weird, man. You don't think that's weird? He's got a little boy living in a tree in his backyard.

Well, okay, then we can talk about the friendly giant. Lives all back in a fucking tree. Or we could talk about some little shit completely different than that. Friendly Giant was fine. You guys watch too much TV as kids. Our TV was always broken because my dad kept smashing them. Well, maybe that's why we made it through fucking high school and you didn't, bud.

I did eventually, didn't I? No. Yeah. Talk to you a while. Who else do we got? Mike Myers, 1963. James Bond. James Bond.

No, man. Mike Myers? Wasn't he? No. He was something like that. Mike Myers was never. Special agent of something. Austin Powers, Ricky.

Oh, fuck, yeah, that's not James Bond. But he was as powerful as James Bond, or as good as James Bond. Ricky, it was a comedy, though. Austin Powers was a comedy, international man of mystery. He wasn't like James Bond. There was still sex and stuff, wasn't there? It's been a while. Shaggin'. Shaggin'.

Do I make you horny? Micro me. It was in that. Mini me. R.I.P. Mini me. Yeah. Little Vernster. Little Vernster. Kind of stole the show, if you ask me.

You think so? I don't know. He was pretty good. Um... Heed! Heed! You think so? I don't know. He was pretty good. Um, head. Head. Pants now. I liked him. Get in my belly. Get in my belly.

That was funny, man. That was fat bastard. Yeah. Get in my belly. Did he die? Who? Michael. Mike Myers?

Mike Myers? No, it's his birthday, man. No, he was born. Where the fuck has he been? Mike Myers? No, it's his birthday, man. No, he was born. Where the fuck has he been? Mike Myers? He just cashed out. Dropped off the flat earth. He cashed in his chips.

He's like, I'm so fucking rich now. Why am I still working? That's good for him. He's smart, man. He was Shrek. Imagine the money he made on Shrek. He was Shrek. Quite the fucking makeup job.

Lost the powers. Ricky Shrek was fucking animated. Fucking Wayne's World. You forgot about that? Wayne's World. I was getting to that. Okay. Shrek, Austin Power, Wayne's World, and I married an axe murderer.

So I married an axe murderer. Is that it? Where he also played his dad. Scottish fella. I like that guy. Pipe better down, we have a piper down. Yeah, that was funny, man. Oh, I wish he wouldn't have gave up. I mean, I get it.

I don't think he gave up. I think he just is relaxing for a few years. He's taking it easy, man. He doesn't have to fucking... I was going to say he'd be bored, but I guess he's not bored. He's probably doing all kinds of fun shit. Lucky, lucky bastard. He doesn't have to fucking...

I'd like to hang out with him. I would too. Have story time. I'd like to hang out with Mike Myers too. Get a bunch of beer and weed, hot tub. Just tell stories. You'd like to get naked in a hot tub with Mike Myers. I'd never said.

Get drunk and smoke dope. I never said naked. He could wear his little Austin Power Speedo. Maybe I'd wear something comparable. That sounds like a nice day. That makes it even creepier. Yeah, nice day in the hot tub, buddy. Nice day in the hot tub, getting high with Mike Myers.

Could be worse days. 1973, Demetri Martin. Never heard of him. Moving on. Who is he? He's an American comedian. Is he funny? He's very funny. Give me one of his jokes? He's an American comedian. Is he funny? He's very funny. Give me one of his jokes.

He tells all the jokes. Oh, he's got jokes all day long. Dimitri Martin. Dimitri Martin's got jokes all day long. Why does he have a Russian first name? I don't know, Ricky. Molly Sims. American model and actress.

Do you know her? I do not know her. Who, Molly Sims, American model and actress. Do you know her? I do not know her. Who, Molly Sims? Yeah. No, don't know her. Who is she, Polarocco? I wonder if she's from the Sims City family. No, that's a video game, Ricky.

She wouldn't be from that. That's Demetri Martin, okay. He's funny. Can I see his beautiful face? Who's that guy? I can't see. Okay, he's funny. Can I see his beautiful face? Who's that guy? I can't see. Oh, do I know him? No. I don't know who the fuck this guy is, Bob's.

All right. Him, he's funny. Oh, fuck. He's real funny, eh? Fucking birthdays today are just mind-bending. They're fucking great, Bob's. Adam Gonchie, eh? 1978, Canadian singer with Three Days Grace. Oh, yeah, I know Adam.

Born in Peterborough, Ontario, home of Sebastian Bach. That's right. He's got a new band now. He's not in Three Days Grace anymore. No? What is it, Molly Sims? He can sing like a motherfucker, but his voice must be fucking... Man, he must have trouble the next day.

He just screams the whole time. Well, he's got control over it. He's got the pipes, Ricky. I wish I had those pipes. I pay a lot of money for pipes like that. Can you buy new pipes? You can't, no, Ricky. You can't buy new vocal cords.

That'd be cool. You might be able to, but they'd be fucking pricey. They'd be pricey. That's like buying a new heart, new lungs. Okay, Molly Sims is hot. Yeah? Like really hot. Normally when you're a model, yeah, you've got to be pretty good looking.

Well, that was quite a... 1984, Kyle Brodziak. What's his... Brodziak, Canadian ice hockey player. Brodziak? Brodziak. What's his name? Brodziak, Canadian ice hockey player. Brodziak? Brodziak? Who's he play for? This guy.

Brodziak, he fucking... Doesn't sound familiar, man. I don't know. He's a... What is it, Kyle? Feels like we should know who he is. Yeah, I feel stupid right now. If he plays in the NHL.

It doesn't say in the NHL. It just says Canadian Ice Hockey. St. Louis Blues. Oh. All right. Okay, well, we look like dicks then. 1994, Alexandra Rose Alley-Raisman, American gymnast. Two-time Olympic medalist, Fierce Five, Final Five, born in Needham, Massachusetts.

Alexandra Allie Raisman. There you go. Ricky. Fucking thing's not working, is it? Well, no wonder. There we go. Fixed it. See, that's what I do.

I fix things. All right. What are we doing now? Got anything fun to talk about that I can get learned on anything? Want to look at some Randy, Corey, Treverson? What are we doing here? This might be something you can learn something from. Just when you think you want to fucking go legit, you read a story about this.

You have twits like this. One pays over a thousand bucks for nine bottles of holy water. That could cure her bad fucking luck. What the fuck is wrong with you? To cure her bad luck? Well, there's some more bad luck. Like nine bottles.

Here you go. And they're just an old water bottle? $1,450. And she called the cops when she drank them and still had bad luck. Oh, my fuck. We should start selling holy water. We could easily start selling holy water, man. You cannot sell holy water. Why?

Why not? Because it needs to be blessed by Jesus. Well, get Jesus to come down. We'll fill up a pool. Holy water, that's serious business. That's water that's blessed by a holy man. Right. Well, you just go to a church and get a priest

or someone to go do that. So you just drive up in a big water tanker, big truck, and just get a blast of water. Yeah, just do the whole thing in one shot. It's a good idea. That's not a bad idea. 1,400 bucks for nine bottles of water, are you kidding me?

We could sell the big 18 liter ones. Yeah, sell one of those big, you know. A thousand bucks. The one you put right on your water cooler. Sell one of those. A thousand bucks. Lifetime supply. Jesus water. They're 18 liters? Do a shot of Jesus in the morning. Okay, 18, you got 18 liters, so, boys, no, that's a lot of bottles of water. That's like 18 grand. 20,000 bucks you get. 20 grand for a big bottle of water. Better yet, find a spring, dig a big cave, let a priest live there,

and then every bottle or every droplet that flows through there is holy. So you're basically filtering the water right through a priest. How holy does it get more than that? It doesn't get much holier than that, Ricky. This water came right through Father McKay's... You could have him suspended on ropes right at the water level, and it would, like, flow right through his cloak. Then it's, like, super...

So you basically hang him in a waterfall, an underground waterfall. Super Jesus water. Cold, filtered, super Jesus priest water. Put a cape on him. There'd be a lot of money in that. Cold, filtered, super Jesus priest water. That's the new business.

You know what? We can even lie and say it's, super-Jesus-prince water. That's the new business. You know what? We can even lie and say it's from a glacier or something. Well, it was originally. Super, super-Jesus-glacier water siphoned through a priest's cloak. A living priest that was suspended on ropes against his will. No, you've got to find one that's into it. Give him a cut.

So how many hours a day does he hang there? And what about the water that flows through when he's not suspended? You'd have to have a dam. If you had a dam and let it build up, you'd only have to work a few hours a day. That's ridiculous. But I like him where you're going with it. So build a dam. That's cheap. We dam off the river.

And people ask, what's this dam all about? Well, we got Super Jesus hanging in a cave down there on some ropes. And we just let the water filter through his cloak and then we sell it. That's Super Jesus. Fuck the money.

You would have a ton of people. We could probably sell it on eBay or something. You could. We should make a whole documentary about Amazon. Let's set up a fake page, see if we get any interest. And let's go for it. Get on those. What are those?

GoDaddy Fund Me page? GoDaddy Fund Me. All right. The GoDaddy Fund me page will be set up later today for the Super Jesus Super Holy

Cloak Water. Damn infused filtered cloak water. All right, I got another thing here. What the fuck

is going on over in China with the pet stores? They're fucked. What do you mean, man? Well, this chick went into a pet store, bought a fucking dog.

Yeah. And then the thing starts getting older. It doesn't bark. That's one bad thing. It's not like dogs bark. It's a fox. Brought it to a fucking zoo, and they were like,

no, this isn't a dog. This is a fox. That's awesome. I'd like to buy a fox. Check this out. These other people bought a fucking dog. That's awesome. And then... I'd like to buy a fox. Check this out. These other people bought a fucking dog. It got older.

Turned out to be a fucking bear. That's a bit of a fuck up. That's a huge fuck up. I've seen bears that look like dogs and dogs that look like bears. Well, let me see. I'm going to read more on this one. Dogs and bears have a similar face. Okay.

You should be able to tell when you have a bear cup that it's not a dog. See, they wanted that, and they got a bear. Well, no wonder. I mean, that's not far from a fucking bear. It's still a bear. It's got hair. It's got some gorgeous locks. This guy isn't going to rip you apart. This guy, this bear, this guy, he's going to fuck you over.

Not after you've spent your life with him. He's going to be your buddy. Pops, come on. He's fucking, he's wild. Gentle Ben, my friend. Yeah, he... Gentle Ben, I rest my case. I guarantee he's fucked over.

Gentle Ben never fucked me. He's mauled and fucked over a few people in his life. Holy fuck. Let's don't hear about it. Gentle Ben? No, he's gentle. Wow, this is... I can't even believe they've proven this to be true.

What? Hitler is not alive on the moon. A study confirmed it. What? Wow. Who was claiming he was? He's not alive on the moon. A study confirmed it. What? Wow. Who was claiming he was? He's not alive on the moon. Hitler not alive on the moon.

Study confirms. After completing what they say is the first examination of Adolf Hitler's remains since World War II, a team in Berlin therefore cannot possibly... A team in... A team? What? The study was no easy feat. Over the past 73 years,

Hitler's presumed corpse has been set on fire. Secretly, something destroyed. Hitler's person, meanwhile, has appeared in the fantasies of all time. Oh, they had his old rotten teeth.

They had his old Hitler teeth. Yes, and what happened? What's going on? What's this whole moon shit? They're just saying that it proves that Hitler died in 1945. I don't believe it. I think he made his way down to Argentina. Yeah.

Well, he was there for a while. He's dead now. They didn't do DNA on the skull, first of all. They said it had the same shape as one they did on Hitler. All right, where does the moon fit into this fucking equation? Because people are saying he made it to Australia, and then other people took it farther and said they think he went to the moon. People are fucked.

Which doesn't even exist. What doesn't exist? A lot of people say the moon's not real. Who's saying that, Ricky? I read it somewhere. A lot of people are saying the moon does not exist. Yeah, this person said a lot of people believe him. I never heard that. It's totally fucked, Ricky.

I never heard anybody saying the moon doesn't exist. Well, not that it doesn't exist, but it's not a moon. It's a star. The moon is not a star. It's a dead star. It's not a dead star. He called it a death star, but... It's not a death star.

Where Darth Vader lives. It does look a lot like it, except it's not black. But it's got, you know, the same circles and stuff. There could be things inside of it. Nobody really knows. No one's ever been there. Check this little fucker out. This guy's got some fucking skills.

Yeah, he likes it. Yeah, he dresses up like Bruce Lee, and he mocks, he knows all of Bruce's moves. Look, see what Bruce is doing on the TV? Look, he's got exactly the same moves. Jesus, that guy doesn't have a career ahead of him or anything. He should be fucking making movies now, the dumbass. You know what they should do? Making them on YouTube.

They should get like a normal size human to go up to this guy and challenge him just to see how bad this guy could beat the fuck out of him. They should reenact the scenes from Bruce Lee with the same actors. Yeah, but is that really gonna hurt you a lot, this guy fucking throwing these little nunchucks at you? If they're wooden ones, yes, it's gonna hurt like a motherfucker. Doesn't matter if he's six. But could he take a punch, do you think?

No, he couldn't. The little fella couldn't take a punch. He'd clean his head right off if you hit him with your big muscles. This fucking guy? He's got a bit of an attitude, man. Well, he's ripped. Look at him. He's fucked. Yeah, he's got abs. He's got abs.

I looked like that when I was a kid. Ricky, you did not have abs. I didn't look anything like that. Then I just let it go. Do you want to take one question from the fan world? Let's see what we can do here.

Boys, this guy, Mark Gagne. Let's see. He says, boys, I think you would like this idea. Let's see what... I think you should play Dungeons & Dragons. The game is basically made for smoking dope and doing funny shit. Bring Corey and Randy or whoever the fuck wants to play. I'm thinking Bubbles should probably be the dungeon master.

Julian might not like the idea at first, but tell him you can make some serious cash painting some of the merch. Ricky would probably be the best wizard there ever was to be. God damn right he would. People are still playing Dungeons & Dragons? This guy is. And I didn't know it was like a big stoner game, is it? I don't know.

I don't remember fucking people playing. Because nobody could ever afford it in the park. Nobody could afford the dice or the figures. Yeah, but the people that could afford it, I don't think were buying drugs and playing it. Well, I don't know. I don't remember that. This guy's still playing it. He's probably still living in his mother's basement, too.

He's probably having Dungeons and Dragons games. Bubbles Taste, This one's called. This is from Christine Mahon. I'm wondering if Bubbles dates American girls. Penelope, P.S. I have two kitties. Bubbles won't date anybody. There she is, too.

She's pretty good looking. Yeah, she's a keeper, I guess. She's gorgeous. She's a good looking girl. I like's gorgeous. For you. Well, yeah. She's a good-looking girl. I like her glasses. Whenever she takes them off, ever. Oh, I don't know, Julian. I don't know the lady.

This guy's name is Dustin Tribble. All the way from the Great Smoky Mountains of East Tennessee. Dustin Tribble. Just wanted to say you guys are fucking awesome. all the way from the Great Smoky Mountains of East Tennessee. Dustin Tribble. Just wanted to say you guys are fucking awesome. Bubbles, you're a hero of mine, as I too know what it's like not having a mom or dad,

but having the best two brothers in the world, even if they're not blood related. Even though there is grease, shit, sometimes we always stick together, stay together. What the fuck is his point? I have some suggestions for the podcast. Excellent. Here we go. Good. We need those. Bubbles, when are you going to bring back Kitty of the Week?

That's a good question. I haven't been doing Kitty of the Week. Nope. Okay. People do love it. I know. Whatever. Kitty of the Week. I was the hot, it was the highlight of my work day as I love seeing the kiddies Jules you should do business advice section on the show as I'm sure us fans would love to know more

Even I use your advice when you had your bar and the donations. I done that Jesus water. We talked about that today That's what don't give away the super Jesus water. I think people already fucking heard us talking about it well, I'm just saying, don't encourage people to get their own Super Jesus strung up over a fucking waterfall in a cave with a dam built above it. Ricky, please, please, please. You should have a Ricky's Grow Tips section. I am a grower myself, but I always wanted to learn more tips

from the man who got me wanting to be a grower myself. Keep up the fucking work, boys. I hope to smoke a six-paper joint with you guys someday as it's on my bucket list. That is Dustin Tribble. That's a good fucking idea. Grow tips. Give him one right now, Ricky. What grow tip for the spring?

I'm going to come up with a good one for next week. You must have one tip for people that are just starting to grow in the spring. I'm gonna come up with a good one for next week. You must have one tip for people that are just starting to grow in the spring. Well, it's getting close to planting outdoors. You should have your plants started indoors. Getting them ready, because it's right after the first

frost. Put those fuckers in the ground. Well, I guess you don't frost it. Places where you have frost, like this fucking cold place, as soon as the first frost is... Last frost, you know what I mean? Whatever. Last frost? Last frost.

It's like the last weekend in... I don't know. Probably mid-June. Okay, then. Early June. And hopefully the deer won't eat your plants if they're outside. Because that happens. You do have to be careful.

Deer will fuck with them. Rabbits fuck with them. Yeah. People steal the fucking things. Okay, so we've got all the questions we're going to take. I think so. You should end with a zinger. A zinger?

Oh, here's a zinger. No, that's not a zinger. You should take your shirt off and flex while Bubbles is trying to find one, just to keep people entertained. Thanks, man. Okay, here's a zinger. This is from Dylan Cass. Hey, Bubs, Ricky, and Julian.

I love the show, buds. My friend and I are going into a studio to record an album about the various things you get up to in the park. I was wondering if we could give you a physical copy of the CD when it's finished. We will be at your show at the Olympia Theatre in Dublin, Ireland, and we will be in floor seats in Rowell. Nice. Yous will make my dreams of wanting to meet you guys come true.

Thanks so much. I don't know. I thought there was a question in there. That was a zinger. I guess there's no question. Well, bring some money. Did the Dublin show bring some money and a good buzz on? And a physical copy of the CD you're making?

Yep. And Bubz will give you a physical something as well. Ricky. Okay, boys. I think it's time. That's it? I think it's time. Day 2-5 weekend. Coming up. Yeah. What are you doing this weekend, Ricky?

I'm gonna do not quite as crazy as last weekend. 50 joints a day. 50 joints a day. Drink all day, all night. Half of a mushroom pizza instead of a whole one. 25 drinks a night. That's not bad.

Or 25 tonight, 26 tomorrow night. That's not bad. It's only a quart. No, you can get a bit more. When you mix triples, Ricky. Still washes it in the wash. No, it's like three quarts if you're doing triples. Three quarts.

All right, tune in next week when I have no fucking idea what's happening. It's no pants. No pants next week. It's June. June's after May, right? Let's go talk more about this Super Jesus idea. I'm in, man. People are fucking 1450 for a line baldness. I'll start making the cape.