Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 15 - Hot Dog

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

How high are you right now? Well, you're not as high as the Boys - they're as f**ked up as a soup sandwich today! Ricky has a greasy new invention involving WD-40, Bubbles is ready to rumble with Kim Jong Un, and Julian's got meat on his mind - but does it taste a bit 'ruff'? Also: Fighting fire with booze!

Yeah, I'm just gonna sit up here by myself, am I? What? Am I just sitting here by myself, am I? Looks like it. Is that alright? No! I was being sarcastic, Ricky. Get the fuck up here, boys. For what? What do you mean?

Is it after dark? Are we in the park? Yeah. Is there a camera person standing right there? I can't go in front of the camera right now. I think my level of fucker-upperness is way too high.

I didn't eat any of the stuff today because I learned my lesson finally. To stop eating things that you were fucking handing me. I wish I had followed your new rule as well. So you're too high to do this, huh? I'm too something.

I don't know, man. I haven't even been to bed yet. I'm fucked up still from last night. Well, see, I've got all my faculties today. Julian? What? How high are you? I'm not coming over there for a few more minutes.

You're that high? Yes. I love it when Julian's fucked up. Just come sit down here with Uncle Bubbles and I'll get your belly. No, man. You don't understand that. Come sit on Uncle Bubbles' lap. I started going through this coloring book last night to pick a picture to color,

but this is a fucked up coloring book, man. The sayings are fucked. Like, have you ever heard of this? As fucked up coloring book, man. The Saiyans are fucked. Like, have you ever heard of this? As fucked up as a soup sandwich. No. Couldn't they have did something better than that? What is it?

As fucked up as a soup sandwich. Why would you make a sandwich out of soup? I'm totally as fucked up as a soup sandwich right now. Jesus fucking Christ, what happened to your hand? How'd it get, like like so small and metallic? What? Bubs. Oh boys, I'm turning into a robot bird. Like a rooster, man.

It's like a rooster. Get that fucking thing away from me, man. No, no, no, no. Bubs. Jesus, man. Jesus, that is fucking weird, man. You wouldn't want to beat your meat with that little...

You know what, Bubs? You're being a... This is what you're being right now. Actually, no, that's not... No, that's not a good one. Whoosh! Jokes. See, make sense of this for me. Shit in one hand, wish in the other, and see which fills up first.

That's a weird one. Can you explain that to me so that it makes sense? Well, it's pretty straightforward, Ricky. What does that mean to you? Oh, fuck. What does it say? Okay, that one's just as good. Jerk liquor?

Jerk liquor. What is a jerk liquor? That that one's just as good. Jerk liquor? Jerk liquor. What is a jerk liquor? That's somebody that buys Jamaican beef jerky and licks it. Or it's somebody that licks you. As you're jerking. That's a jerk liquor, buddy. A shit pouch.

Alright, that's not bad. I like shit pouch. What's a shit pouch? It's a pouch you carry your shit around in. That's a shit pouch? What's a shit pouch? It's a pouch you carry your shit around in. That's a great pouch. A Gunt Puddle. Oh, Jesus. What is that?

It's a Gunt Puddle. It's sweat coming off a Gunt that forms into a Puddle. That's a fuckin'... That's a... You can't unsee that, can you? I mean, guns... What is this book you have, Ricky? Why does it say gun puddle in it?

All right. I don't know if it's the fucking buzz on. I can't even read this because I don't even know how to. What is this book? What is this fuck? What does that page even say? Eat a bag of dicks. It says, mosquitoes.

See what I mean? Mosquitoes so big they could fuck full-crown turkey flat-footed. Mosquitoes so big they could fuck full-crown turkey flat-footed. A full-crown turkey, what's a full- The fuck is fuck? Full-crown turkey, flat-footed. A full-crown turkey. What's a full- The fuck is that?

Full-grown. Full-grown. Mosquito so big they could fuck a full-grown turkey, flat-footed. That's a mosquito. He's so big, he's standing flat-footed, putting the fucking blocks to a turkey. From behind. Get it? What the fuck is Randy doing out there now? Sounds like he's like flipping cars or something.

No, he's got that thing, that loader crane thing, rented and he's knocking down the playground. He says he's gonna put in a new playground. Idiot. He doesn't even know. He put up the new swing set and then he swung the crane around to get the old part out and he bashed the brand new swing set to pieces. So he's doing it in the wrong order. You know the word gunt? Yeah. Does that mean there's also a word called...

What is it now? You're way too long. Gawk. Gawk. A gawk? A gawk. A Gawk. Gawk. A gawk? A gawk. A gut gawk? Yeah.

A gawk. Is that what it's called? There's got to be a name for that when a dude has got the shit going on. You know what I mean? You'd like to know that, wouldn't you? Randy's got a gawk, right? Phil Collins definitely had one. He had a gawk.

He had something. He had a gawk. He had something. He had a pancake flap. It used to come down, and then there was a flap. Like a hanging flap. Oh, man, he was fucking up to it. Because I used to, remember, I used to hit it? He was a fucked up dude, huh? Oh, it's OMG fact time for this week.

In the U.S., the typical school year is 180 days. In China, it's 251. That's a lot of school. What is? That's, well, they take their school seriously in China. And I don't think they have a choice. That's why they're so smart, I guess. Did you fucking now, just wait.

Not that this has anything to do with China, but did you see what? The fuck going on in North Korea. No, man Okay, so the government tells everybody hand over your dogs We need them to make meat to feed the population So if you had a pet dog in North Korea, hand them over. We're putting them in the grinder. What the fuck does a dog taste like?

I don't know. Like what a German Shepherd tastes like a poodle? It's not the fucking what they taste like is not the point. If you had like one of those pudgy, pudge ones, well that tastes like a Doberman. Or, you know. You mean all dogs taste the same? Yeah. I can't imagine, but maybe. Well, all birds don't taste the same, right?

Nor do all fish. I would think a Doberman has a leaner cut than, say, a St. Bernard. Imagine being like a little kid. St. Bernard would have nice marbling. You could probably grill up a nice St. Bernard steak. Looking at those Newfoundland dogs. But that like a little kid. St. Bernard would have nice marble and you could probably grill up a nice St. Bernard steak. But that's not the point.

The point is, imagine having a pet dog and you gotta hand him over. That's what I was just gonna say. Your little kid's got a little baby fucking Labrador Retreater and he fucking gets really happy with him. Has him as a puppy, gets bigger, he's fucking years old, and says, hey, need your dog. Got to make him into hot dogs. That would fucking be, that would hurt. Well, I'll just tell you, if I was living there and they said,

round up the kitties because they're going in the grinder, I would have a fucking, there would be a serious problem. I would beat the fucking living shit out of that Kim Jong-un if he tried to take my kitties. I'd fucking crank one up and I'd fucking let him have it. I'd have to. That's a weird one. You'd have to toughen your dog up and just let them go crazy. Like, you'd come get them then.

And then they'd attack. I'd rather see the dog fucking, like, dying trying to fucking. He wouldn't fuck around, though, in North Korea. You know what I mean? They'd just shoot them. I mean, the same way they controlled the coronavirus. You know, they had that one outbreak,

so they shot the guy. That's how they fucking... Jesus. That's how they fucking... You've got lots of great happy fucking news, huh? Well, that's how they do their contact tracing.

Oh, you have the coronavirus? Bang! Cured death. Sure did. You got no cases now, do they? Egyptians were the first to wear glitter, which composed of crushed beetle shells. You used to wear glitter. Remember that, Julian?

When did I ever wear fucking glitter? I used to wear glitter. Maybe it was you. I knew one of you did. I used to. When I was into David Bowie, I used to put glitter on. About 30,000... I know, Ricky. 30,000 Americans are injured by toilets every year.

Why? How would that happen? How many times have you slammed your wiener in the toilet seat? That would count. Or you'd slide on the seat and it would fucking give way and you'd end up fucking falling over. You've done that a few times. Or if you're throwing a toilet off the second level

and it hits someone down the grits. Yeah, that's another way. Oh, you take the back of the toilet and fucking crank someone in the head with it. You've done that? Yeah. Yeah, you're fucking... Fuck off.

You're supposed to be in the woods. When are you coming back to the woods? I'm coming there tonight. And we're going to pretend it's July 4th, not September 4th. Oh, that would be nice. It's going to be a big party. Get some fireworks, little fella. I don't know where to buy them. I'm only a squirrel. False man. What does this guy sound like?

This guy? He's got bananas. That's a dumb fact. Relax, banana. That's a dumb fact. Let's hear it. The ancient something were the first to ferment and distill grains into whiskey. They called it water of life.

The fire water. The seltz? The kelts. The kelts people. Ah. They got the booze going. Yeah, the Irish. Cheers to the fucking Irish.

Fucking cheers to them is right. Love the booze. Fucking. Yes. Thanks for distilling those grains into the beautiful liquor. All right. Well, that wasn't very exciting. What a boring week.

OMG. Okay. So what are we going to do, boys? Welcome to the. What is it? Did we already do that? I can't remember. I didn't really.

I know. We didn't officially say welcome. All right. Welcome to Per didn't officially say welcome. All right. Welcome to Perk After Dark, everybody. It's very different talking to you two. This is your host, Julian. I wish you were as fucked up as we are, man. This is Bubbles.

I don't know. I can't get that fucked up today. I got to go down to the Department of Motor Vehicles. For what? I'm trying to register my go-kart to be used on the streets. Trying to get it straight. Not gonna happen. Doesn't have any blinkers. I put blinkers on it. You need one of those fucking upside down triangle signs. Yeah. I have one of those. I put blinkers on it. I got the brakes all. Headlights. There's headlights

on it. Tail lights. Man. Might be able to do it. You could register it as a farm vehicle probably. What about the seat belt? You need like a five-point harness. I've got a fucking racing harness in the cart. Okay, all right. So I'm gonna try to get it. I think you need a special bumper too, don't you? Oh, I don't know. Do I? I'll have to weld a fucking bumper onto it then. I will.

You need a bumper. I just need to be able to go to the, you know, go down to the mall on my cart. It would make things a lot easier. There's a lot of weird shit going on in the world. Hurricanes. Like what, Ricky? No, there isn't, man.

There is great. We fucking, all we do is get high and drunk every day now our world is good but other people are no but i'm no what i'm trying to say our world is even more fucked up than the outside world because we're fucked all the day like all day all night now i gotta stop it i gotta stop fucking getting like this. This high. I disagree. I think it's hilarious. Ah, yeah. What's hilarious? Hurricanes? Fires? No, him getting fucked up to the point where he thinks, you know,

he shit himself. It is good. There's a guy in California, he fought a forest fire with Bud Light. A forest fire? Bud Light. A forest fire? Yeah. The fire was coming towards his house. First of all, his house burnt down five years ago in another fucking

accident. So he's building a new house after fighting the insurance company for five years. He's got it almost built and the fucking fires start coming towards him. So he was fighting it with water in the town. He's in. Shut the water off. Smart when you got a forest fire coming at you. So he was fighting it with water in the townies and shut their water off. Smart when you got a force.

So what did he do? The only liquid he had was a 30-pack of Bud Light. He started puncturing little holes in it, shaking it up so he had a nice little stream coming out.

Bud Light must have been all over that. They should give the guy a beer for life. Did it work? It worked enough until then a fire truck came and fucking,

they were able to save us all. So he did it. Oh, man. It couldn't have been a forest fire. It was probably like a little like a garden fire or a fucking lawn fire.

A forest fire with 30 pack of beer. Whatever they have in California may not be a fucking forest fire or a wildfire. They have forest fires. Yeah, but a wildfire is like crazy.

You're not going to stop over the cans of beer. Well, he initially soaked everything with his hose and stuff, but then they turned the water off. So it was just like he was just using it as a second line of defense. You could do that. That was a waste. It was a waste of booze.

That's what I was thinking. If the flames were lapping at you like that. Way waste. He's like he didn't even second guess. He just grabbed them. And I said, man, I'd be like looking at that beer box going. I thought, man, he had like a keg or something. Yeah, man didn't even second guess. He just grabbed him. And I said, man, I'd be like looking at that beer box going. I thought you meant he had like a keg or something. Yeah, man.

That's so fucked. It's probably bullshit. He's probably trying to get free beer from Bud Light. That's what he's trying to do. You should tell everybody you put out a forest fire with a case of rum. Tell Appleton's that you fought off an alien invasion. Wouldn't that be like adding gas to the fire, though?

We need to test it. You could say you saved... No, we need to test it. I wish we had the... We should have a barbecue in here. Let's have a barbecue. Right in the living room. Fucking throw some... this shit on it. see what happens. That won't go up. I know, you know what I mean. This. Get some of this or get some rum. That won't go up. That'll put out a fire. Okay, well rum should put out a fire then. It will. Zambuca won't. No, Zambuca definitely won't.

If you throw it on a knife, it won't just go up like a tinderbox. Hmm. All right, are we done? I'm, uh... You know who you remind me of today? Who? Oh, make it a good one. No, no, don't make... Leon the Professional.

Who? You know that movie? No. You don't know the movie? Oh, yeah, that was a good one. Oh, the Professional. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was a good one. Oh, The Professional. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Thanks, man. I get it now. That's who he looked like. Just the stone version of that guy. Muscular The Professional. That's a good movie. The Muscular Professional. That's a good one.

Julian grabs The Professional and bench presses him and then fires him off a bridge. That's how the movie starts. He wasn't so professional after all. He was no match for my muscles. Oh, boys, they're remaking some movies. You know what fucking movie they're remaking? This is a terrible idea.

The Wizard of Oz. Are they? They already did that. I don't know. That's just the first thing that came to my head. It's a good guess. Star Wars. Rocky.

No. Rambo. No. Terminator. Six. Remake Terminator 6. Planes, trains, and automobiles. Oh, terrible idea.

Terrible. And guess who's in it? Who? Steve Martin. I know John Candy's not. Planes, trains, and automobiles. Oh, terrible idea. Terrible. And guess who's in it? Who? Steve Martin. I know John Candy's not. No. It'd be cool if he was.

You know who's the two main characters that are replacing Steve Martin and John Candy? Will Smith and Kevin Hart. Not even joking. That is a dumb idea. You know what? I can tell you right now, I'm not even going to watch it. You can't fucking remake a John Candy movie. You can't.

That's not the same. I agree. Or Steve Martin. Jesus Christ. So are they going to do that scene where he's got his hand wedged in his ass cheeks? Maybe. I like the scene where he's driving down the highway the wrong way. Yes.

You're going the wrong way. And he's going, have another drink there, crazy. That was fucked. But, I mean, who's going to be Del Griffith? Del Griffith. Shower, rain curtain division. You can't replicate John Kennedy. You know what?

It's making me angry even thinking about it. John Candy. You know what? It's making me angry even thinking about it. Del Griffith needs to be, you know, a big guy like John Candy. You can't be lean with abs. You can't have abs. Both those guys have abs, I believe. I'm boy-cocking the movie.

Fuck it. Well, you never know. It might be good. You're what? I'm gonna boy-cock it. Not going. Boycock? Boycock.

That means you don't go to something. It's boycott, Ricky. You don't do something. C-O-T-T. Boycocking is a whole different... You punch boycocking into your machine there and see what you get. Not a chance. What's the real one? Boycott. Boycott.

Boycott. C-O-T-T. Caught. Why? What does that mean? What's a boycott? It doesn't mean anything to do with boys or catching them, Ricky. It just, that's the word that means that.

How's it spelled? Boycott. I don't know what the etymology of it is. Boycott? No. Boycock. Boyco is. Boycott? No. Boycock. Boycocking. Boycock sounds better.

I'm boycocking it. Just don't tell anybody else you're boycocking the movie. Or boycocking anything. Wow. There was a crazy bitch down in Florida. 40-year-old beat the fuck out of her father because he was farting too much. A 40-year-old beat the fuck out of her father?

Her father, yeah, because he was farting. Some people have that problem, man. The police showed up, he had a fucking bleeding eye and scratches all over him. I guess she kicked the fuck out of him because he farted too much. Because he was doing it on a purpose, I bet, as well, right? You can't fart on purpose.

You can eat certain foods to help out. Absolutely. You can adjust your intake. Do you think if Randy came in and started, he had been working it up all week just to fucking gas us out, we're trying to have a good time? He's done it. Oh, I beat the fuck out of Randy.

Exactly. I can't imagine beating the fuck out of my dad for farting, especially, you know, if he's old and farting. You hit Ray with a shovel because he shit in the ground. He shit in my car, Bob. Well, you hit him with a shovel when he did that. I snapped. I was drunk. Sort of the same thing.

Did he ever do it again? No. He shouldn't have poked the bear. Shouldn't have poked the bear. Shouldn't have poked the bear. He's the bear. The big bear. It's boy Cocker. Oh, fuck.

Did you see that snake that came out of Buddy's toilet in Texas? No, man. Oh, my God. That happens all the time. Fuck. I did see that. They had a little golf club trying to, oh, my God, what a creepy little fucking snake it was, too. Yeah.

Imagine sitting down to do your poop. It's one of my worst big snake comes up hello it's one of my night fears i just watched this video dude had a big like a tarantula type spider up in the corner as well he's spraying it with i think hairspray or something and popped off fuck spiders man something and popped off fuck spiders man you gotta the best thing for spiders is wd-40 and a lighter just fucking yeah roast ghost wd-40 does a lot more than just fucking get the creeks out man it's got 121 uses shampoo your if someone threw up in the carpet or the rug cleans it up it also burns through your rug. No, it doesn't. It gets stains up, man. It is flammable.

It's nice. Yeah, good. I like it. Maybe we should do a test someday. Fucking ghost all kinds of shit. Oh, now you're here. Now you're a ghost. Now you got him started. He's going to get it out later.

I'm going to buy a fucking case of it. They should make it in bigger cans with bigger spray. I'm going to come up with something crazy. Just a fucking can. It's going to be a flamethrower. They'll sell a shit ton of those once I come up with a new attachment for it.

It's going to be it's going to have a trigger on it. Oh fuck. I can just. it's just all coming together we're fan i've got it in my head i just gotta make it ricky holy fuck there's gonna be some flame it's tonight that's a dragon's den fucking idea right there yeah but you could sell it an attachment for wd-40 that turns it into a flame it could be a bug killer it could fucking get rid of weeds yeah people don't know about these uses. What else could it do? Lots of shit.

But then you just, it's got nothing to do with the WD-40 at that point. It's the fire. Imagine the fires you could start with it. Yeah, but you've got to be safe. You've got to be, you know, an adult to use a fucking gun. But why wouldn't you, Ricky, if you're going to put all that effort in, why wouldn't you just build a propane flamethrower? Well, let's do it.

It doesn't sound dangerous, but okay. No, it sounds dangerous. WD-40 is not dangerous. No. It's stable. It's do it. It doesn't sound dangerous, but okay. No, it sounds dangerous. WD-40 is not dangerous. No. It's stable. It's not stable. Well, you're right. I threw a cannon at the fire one time.

That was a shit show. And I'll blow your foot off. Remember the 49-foot flames? Yes, you almost blew your foot off. All right. I think I should go home. Oh, I am home. Maybe you guys should go home. I was I am home. Maybe you guys should go home.

I was speaking of dogs. You were talking about them. So North Korea is eating dogs. In Germany, they just passed a law. You got to walk your dog twice a day. Where? Germany. It's not a bad law.

Fucking dogs. So the Germans are good to the dogs. North Korea, not so good. But see what I think. The Germans are getting their dogs in shape, and they're going to sell dogs. North Korea, not so good. But see what I think. The Germans are getting their dogs in shape, and they're going to sell them to North Korea. Ah. Lean.

That's a good fucking idea. What was that sound that just made? I'm just saying, we could start. Maybe. Like a muscular Kobe beef dog. There's a lot of people that don't want their dogs out there, Bubz. If you could make some money. I wonder how much you'd get for a dog.

We've got to figure out. They're not muscling up the dogs to sell them to North Korea. We've got to find out which ones taste the best. It'd be a good plan if that's what they're doing, just behind everyone's back and didn't know. Muscling up the dogs. Yeah, boy, you'd probably sell them per pound, wouldn't you? Think about this.

Imagine if you had a little chihuahua and you figured out that that meat tastes like fucking the best steak you've ever had in your life chihuahua yeah and you could sell you grill there's no fat on him that's what i mean he would just sizzle right down you can sell them like chicken wings you know what i mean people might i'm just saying wings yeah with the right herbs and spices and shit. Chihuahua wings. And dog legs. Dog legs, man.

Ricky... Dog breasts. Dog legs. Dog rumps. Imagine eating a big dog leg. Like a big... Little riblets. I mean, it's not that much weirder than eating a turkey leg when you think about it.

That's a fucking squirrel. We're fucking savages. We're a bunch of savages. Yeah, and we could probably make some good money off of it. Remember those turkey legs? I saw a video of the turkey legs they sell at Disneyland. Holy fuck. What's the scoop, man?

The fucking things are like that, Ricky. They're like red Flintstone turkey legs. They must be. And you eat... people pay, like. You buy them right at Disneyland, right in the turkey leg place. It's just like you go out and you can order, like, you know, I'll get a cheeseburger and fries. I'll get a fucking gigantic turkey leg, please.

And people walk around eating them. People just walking around just fucking hauling into a fucking, and I mean, it's got a thigh on it like that. They got to be demetrically engineered or something. There's no way a turkey has legs that fucking big. They're big turkeys, I'll tell you that. Big fucking turkeys. Yeah, they could be like, I don't know, ostriches.

Imagine an ostrich leg. You couldn't eat an ostrich leg. Not in one sitting. What's the plague? Not sitting. What's the plague? Not good. What is the plague? Yeah. It was a disease. Which plague? Bubonic?

I don't know. There's a case of a plague in California right now. It's the first one in five years. Great. That's the bubonic plague coming back. It's been hovering around for years, but they know how to treat it. Well? So it's not that big of a deal, really. You know that fleas get it from infected squirrels and chipmunks. Fleas are getting them. So, no, from squirrels.

So you probably got the plague, Ricky. What's the symptom? It just makes me hate squirrels even more, because they could have the plague. But you love me. And guess this. I like you. I don't like you if you got fucking flea plague.

Fuckface. I don't. All right you got fucking flea plague. Fuck face. I don't. All right. You're good then. I'm not bad at it. You're good then. But this is the bad part for you, bubs. Dogs and cats take those fucking squirrel flea infested plague carrying cocksuckers

and the fleas get on the cats and the cats come in your goddamn shed next thing you know you get the plague no and then you're giving us like that around here so my kitties are all free flea free shipped them off to north korea nope not happening my kitties no better than to get the fucking plague my kitties are trained i think think to be safe, we're gonna have to... kill all the squirrels and chipmunks. Ricky. Just in our park. The plague is not around here. You don't gotta worry about the fucking bubonic plague.

Yeah, that's what people said about... the coronavirus four years ago. What would happen if we got rid of all those fucking squirrels and chipmunks? What do you mean, Mark? You know what? It would be a happier place. It would upset the whole ecosystem. Okay.

They wouldn't wake up at fucking 6 AM and whatever the fuck that noise is that cocksuckers make. They do plant trees, right? They hide nuts and shit and they forget about it in trees. Upset the whole ecosystem. Maybe. Fucking squirrels and chipmunks. Chipmunks, I don't have as much of a problem.

It's the squirrels. They're the fucking bad seeds. Squirrels are just cute rats. Really? No. They're just cute rats. They're kind of cute, especially when they're small. If you took a squirrel and you fucking stripped its tail down to the bone, not to the bone, but to the skin.

Yeah. He's pretty much a rat. No, he's got a cuter face. I don't like rats with their little buck teeth and the fuckers. Squirrels got buck teeth. Do they? Yes. They never smile at me, so I don't know.

They just fucked his fucking squirrels, man. Squirrels don't bite, though. Rats do. Squirrels will fucking bite you. You got bit by a squirrel on the neck when we were in Toronto. Remember? You were sleeping in the park. Oh, yeah, but that was one of those big, dirty, fucking... Still a squirrel.

Gray squirrels. He fucking was biting you on the neck. Those aren't squirrels. Those are fucking crossed between a rat and a rabbit. They're fucked. I don't like those ones. They're not cute. Rabbits.

Well, boys, I think I'm gonna head down to the motor vehicle department. Oh, I've been drinking now. You can't do that. Let's just keep going. Pretend it's July 4th, except it's September 4th. Four months later.

It's close. Let's have a fucking September 4th party then, boys. I'll do my motor vehicle stuff tomorrow. Boys, I got to ask you something. This is the last weekend, man. This is serious. Have you guys ever shoplifted toilet paper before? Yes, all kinds of times.

I know you have. Bubs? Shoplifted? No, but stolen it out of restaurants. Yeah, sorry, I don't know about shoplifted. I've taken it out of restaurants. I've taken it out of the KFC. The mall.

All right. And the mall. Why? Well, I was just wondering. Why, are you doing it or you did it? I, I, I, yeah, I did it and I felt kind of really greasy about it. Why are you stealing it? I don't know. I have no money, man, but it's... Have you ever been chased with a bunch of toilet paper?

Yes, I've been chased. Okay, good. Did you get caught? No. Okay, so we gotta go out to the shop and figure out why you're stealing toilet paper. Just remember, boys. Tune in next week to find out why Julian's stealing toilet paper. It's a long weekend. We forgot.

We're not gonna make a big thing out of it. Is it? Long weekend. What's it matter, Ricky? Every weekend's a fucking long weekend. But when it's official, it's better.