Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 16 - Hi There, I'm Lampy Lamp

Episode Date: November 20, 2015

Ricky's had a fight with Lucy – is she cheating on him with one of the podcast sponsors? Also: Was Jimmy Hoffa murdered by a sofa bed? How do you fight a toothless shark? And why does Ricky have a lampshade on his head? Episode 16 is brought to you by Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky!

All right, let's get this fucking going, bubs. We can't just get it fucking going. What the heck going on? I mean, I want to fucking... My whole thing was to take this serious, make the best podcast that, you know, there's ever been. And every fucking time we go to do it, this is what's happening. Ricky's fucking passed out with a goddamn lampshade on his head.

Wake him up. Rick. I tried to wake him up. Well, let's just start it, then. He's not gonna... Fuck's sakes, Bob. Ricky! He's just started doing it. He's not gonna... For fuck's sakes, Bob. Reggie! Reggie. Rick.

Jesus Christ, man. Will you settle the fuck down? What the fuck is going on? We're doing a podcast. What are you wearing? What are those? Jesus Christ. What the fuck happened last night, boys? He doesn't even know he's got them on.

I know he doesn't. You were fucked last night, okay? Ricky, I want you to take this a little more serious. All right. Podcast. Okay, Ricky, I want you to take this a little more serious. All right. Podcast. Okay, first thing I want to get to, right there. Look at that. Leckerman's Old Dirty Canadian Whiskey.

That's one of our new sponsors right there, boys. Sponsors. Beautiful. And it's our whiskey. Look. There I am. Look at that, Julian. Me, Ricky.

Got our own liquor, so we're sponsoring ourselves. Now it's a fucking dirty, sassy liquor. Cool, just available. Right now, only available in Newfoundland and Labrador. Yeah, but I'm working on contracts with the other liquor corporations and stuff across the country, you know. So hopefully we will be in stores everywhere. How long have you guys been on the fucking trailer doing this shit? What?

A while. You just come in here and you start doing your fucking little... Well, it's under contract. We've got to do it, man. Okay? We've got sponsors. We've got to meet their demands. We just met this demand.

We mentioned, you know, Trillip Art Boys. Liquormans. That's the contract we have. Liquormans. Is that a fucking cold beer? Where bubbles thank you you fucking made just save me my friend my mouth is so fucking dry it's like a fucking desert snow blizzard should we have like a little intro to this sure all right what's going on you fuckers? This is podcast. You don't talk to the cameras though in a podcast. We're just here hanging out.

Alright, well welcome to episode number 11, Ricky and Bubbles. When the fuck is our microphones gonna be back? They got delayed. They're still over in Europe. They got left behind but I located them and they're being shipped. What the fuck? Where? The microphones are in Helsinki right now remember we did the podcast remember Helsinki I like this is fucking Europe I did say Europe okay where did you figure how thank you is Ricky Finlandia Finland yes and where do you figure that is any idea

it's in Europe seriously yes he doesn't even know we were in so we're like Sunnyvale Nova Scotia Canada then what

North America fuck okay now I get it. Now I fucking get it. He doesn't get it, man. I guarantee he doesn't fucking get it. Good morning, boys. So, yes, Ricky, I was just saying how we got a new sponsor here. Oh, yeah?

Lackermans. That's one of the new ones. We still, you know. For fuck's sakes. Why? I just had a flashback from last night before I went to bed. That's one of the new ones. We still, you know. For fuck's sakes. What? I just had a flashback from last night before I went to bed. What was it? Big fucking fight with Lucy.

Fight with Lucy? Yeah. What happened? Well, I fucking was going to bed and one thing led to another. Blocks may or may not have been getting put to somebody. And all of a sudden I thought I heard wacky, not Ricky. Wacky? That's what it

sounded like to me. And I started looking at these fucking pictures on the wall and the more I looked at it, I'm going, hmm, who the fuck is that? Lucy said, you're fucking a lunatic. I bought some fucking frames. I didn't put any pictures in them yet. This is a fucking model that came in the frames. You guys tell me, is that a fucking model that came in the frames. You guys tell me.

Is that a fucking model that works for a fucking frame company? No, man. It's Michael Wackerly from Dragon's Den, the guy that sponsors us. That's what I fucking thought. She's saying, oh, no, you're a fucking psycho. You're fucking nuts. That's just from the photo company. Lucy had these up on the wall.

Pictures of whack. I'm pretty sure she said wacky. And she was staring at them as you were putting the blogs to her. Ricky, she's pretending

it's Wackerly banging her, not you banging her. For real. Who would you probably want to rather bang? Exactly.

I guess. That's just a stupid question. What the heck you got, Ricky? I wouldn't rather bang either one of you. Two dudes.

Well, suppose you weren't a dude and you were... Well, if I was a lady, I mean, he's a good-looking fella. Suppose you're like this hot fucking chick. Perfect body. Who I was? Yeah. I wouldn't fuck with either one of you. You walk into a bar and you have two options here.

What's gonna happen? I'd just marry a rich guy from somewhere exotic. You'd marry a rich wall. He's got some cash. Oh, I'm on Dragon's Tank. I'm fuckin' rich. Fuckin' I know all the women all over the world are fantasizing about me. Dragon's Tank, not Dragon's Tank. Well, it's probably not all women from around the world. We definitely know that Lucy's fantasizing about him as you're putting the plants together.

It must be nice to be so fucking great and cool and sexy. That's all I can say. I'm fucking jealous. I wish my fucking picture was on your girlfriend's fucking wall. And she's saying it's just some model from a fucking frame company. Well, she thinks he's sexy, obviously. And so do you, because you just said he was sexy. We were supposed to talk about, you know, him being

a sponsor. We weren't really supposed to talk about how Lucy wants to fucking bang him. And how sexy Ricky thinks he is. I never said that. Okay, here's my idea. Send me a fucking burger that hangs on my wall. I'm one of those. I'd fucking eat the shit out of that right now for breakfast. I'm fucking starving.

What, a wall burger? Yeah. Burgers hang on my wall. Marky Mark. Friendly bunch. Jesus, Ricky. Ricky, you can't fuck up all the sponsors' names. Wall burger.

It's not a fucking burger. Everyone knows what I'm fucking mean at this point. You know what? People now know how my brain works. They get it. No, they don't. Scientists don't. Even though.

All right, so I'm awake. Oh, and I didn't tell you this, but we might be able to get this guy to sponsor us. You know, Advanced Nutrients. Oh, fuck off right now. Don't even tease me with that shit. Big Mike? Talking to Big Mike. And if we get it, if he comes on board,

holy fuck, Ricky, you're going to have all the fucking, all the growing materials you could ever want. I could save me a shit, Dad. Save the contract work to me, okay? If he says to sign something, you let me take care of it. You don't know shit about that stuff, man. I know everything about that shit. We don't have them yet. But Big Mike, advanced nutrients, take care of it. You don't know shit about that stuff, man. I know everything about that shit. We don't have them yet.

But Big Mike, Vance Nutrients is looking into it. I will be talking to Big Mike. We'll set up something. I bet you will. You're probably thinking, oh, I'm Big Mike. This guy, I want to talk to. He's big. Ricky.

So, here we are. Breakfast. Champions. Good fucking chips, man. Okay, so look, I just put together some fun facts here that I thought we could talk about. Fuck off. What, you don't want to talk about fun facts? It depends how fun they are.

I was looking these up baked, Ricky. Tell me what you think of this. Just like, speaking of baked, Ricky. Why the fuck do I have a lampshade on my head? I don't know. Do you have something we can fire up right now? As a matter of fact, I do. Looks like a joint roll before bed did not get ignited. This whole podcast thing is

boring the fuck out of me right now. Ricky, you gotta stop smoking joints in bed. Here, you gotta smoke. That's how people die, Ricky. Smoking joints in bed. You can't pass out if you're smoking a joint, Ricky. I'll smoke it. That's how people die, Ricky. Smoking joints and bad. You can't pass out if you're smoking a joint, Ricky. I put lampshades on my head when I fucking go to sleep. You put the lampshade on your head, man.

You don't remember running around, kicking fucking windows, saying, I'm Lampy. Hey, I'm Lampy Lamp. No, no. That's what you were saying. Lampman, Lampy Lamp. You had about 15 different lamp what you were saying. Lamp man, lampy lamp. You had about 15 different lamp names you were calling yourself. What are these little fucking things? Actually, we can't say it, can we?

Because they're not a sponsor. What are they? I don't know, but they're chocolate eggs. Pretty fucking delicious. Okay, listen to this one, boys. When it rains, fire ants use their bodies to link up into a raft and they float

between in the larvae until the water retreats bullshit I could see that happening bullshit no it's not

bullshit Ricky it's a fact people aren't even smart enough to do that shit think of big raincovers or big wavecovers

they scream they all run away so they link it up and carry it away to the women and children. It's a good idea if it was the ants that thought of it. It was pretty fucking cool, man. Do you know how many ants there is on this planet? There's a lot of them. They're doing something right.

They're linking up to save the queen. There was quite a few. Yeah, well, there you go, man. There are ten players. I count the ants in my yard, and then I multiply that by all the yards in the world. They live underground, most you go, man. They're team players. I tried to count the ants. I counted the ants by yard, and then I multiplied that by all the yards of the world. They live underground, most of them, man. They're just up on the surface trying to get something.

Ricky, how did you count all the ants in your yard? It took a while, let me tell you. But fucking eight joints in two and a half days. I know, but how did you know you weren't recounting? 2,758. Yeah, but how do you know each one was individual? Maybe one guy went in a hole and popped up over here. I tried to mark them with little blue paint dots.

I don't know if I got every one of them, but every time I saw an ant after that with a little blue paint dot, I was back and didn't know how to count them. Like, how many people out there have that much time they can spend the whole afternoon fucking counting ants on their land? I was doing it with my kids.

That is fucked. It was actually a great afternoon to spend with your kids. Count the ants in your fucking yard and mark them with blue paint. That is fucked. It was actually a great afternoon to spend with your kids. It's... Count the ants in your fucking yard and mark them blue paint. Good fucking bonding time. What were you putting the paint on them with? Just a little paintbrush. A little paint-sized paintbrush.

I found out afterwards the paint that killed most of them was oil paint. Jesus Christ, Ricky. So if you ever want to kill your ants in your house, oil paint works. Yeah, if you ever want to kill ants, just follow them around with a miniature paintbrush with oil paint on it and put a dot on them and let them suffer to death. Ricky. Better get a fuck ant. Kill them. I hate them. You want to fuck some ants?

No, it's the fuck with the ants. Ants are nice. How are ants nice? Well, they don't do anything. Do they eat mosquitoes? They don't. They might. I don't know. They probably gang up on one.

How would an ant eat a mosquito, Ricky? Some of them fly. I've seen them. Well, those aren't exactly ants. Those are piss ants. Piss ants? Piss ants are the flying ants with the wings. They're not called piss ants. They're fucking called piss ants, those are piss ants. Piss ants? Piss ants are the flying ants with the wings. They're not called piss ants.

They're fucking called piss ants. They're flying ants. Piss ants. Oh my god. Glad that I didn't smoke that before bed last night. It's quite a little number. Yeah. Do you have any more fun facts?

Yeah man, that was lots of fun. I do have fun facts here. I got fun facts fucking galore. Well, a human skeleton was found in a couch. Six pounds. Oh. What? Six pounds? I thought you were going to ask how much it weighed.

Six pounds. How do you know how much a skeleton weighs, Ricky? It's just a guess, actually. Well, it is six pounds, so now I'm starting to wonder. That's amazing. How do you know that? Well, because it was probably baked.

Somebody told me, and once you bake it, someone tells you some shit, sometimes it just sticks like fucking boss to butter. Boss to butter. Okay. What's, uh, let's just keep going.

What is this? There's a skeleton found in a sofa? Somebody found a skeleton in a couch left on the side of the highway. I just thought I'd throw that out there. Was it a hide-a-bed or just a normal couch? See, that's a pretty good question. I wasn't expecting that. Does it make a difference, Ricky?

I wonder if people, like, actually using that sofa. They would, you know, cruise over. I was just thinking. Wait, I want to know why Ricky asked that. Because a lot of people fuck up sometimes. They're sleeping on it. It goes down. Folds back.

Jesus. Take that. They might end up in the bed. No one knew about them. Fuck. I'm too fucked up again, boys. You can't come out of my breakfast. Wake me up.

Beat me joints in here. Roll something normal. Roll something normal that's not going to tick our heads off. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you always wearing sunglasses or is that just how it is? Just put them on because you're freaking me out a little bit. Wait a second. So you think maybe somebody was laying on the bed and they got accidentally folded inside?

And something ate the whole body except the head? Or it just rotted? Ricky. Ricky, don't you think? Jesus. I mean, if somebody, you know, got trapped in their hide of bed okay i don't know if that's what happened maybe somebody just dropped a skull on a fucking couch and someone found it no they found a skeleton not a head okay so that makes sense so someone did get

fooled up in the fucking thing they rotted to death and then somebody found it years later it's probably a hide of bed from the 70s could have been that fucking missing mafia guy. Who knows? Who? Jimmy Hoffa? Yeah. That's what happened to him. Are you kidding me? There's no way it's Jimmy Hoffa. You know how fucking long they've been looking for that motherfucker?

Wouldn't that be awesome? How much money was poured into the investigation? Well, you'd never find him. He's pulled up in a fucking hide-a-bed. He's down on a fucking hide-a-bed sofa. The side of the road. Jimmy Harvey was found today. Contact the family.

He wasn't killed after all. He fucked up. He passed out and got folded up in a sofa bed. And he was in the dump for the last fuck, 35 years. That's fucked up. I bet it happens all the fucking time. Fuck you, fuck that.

Well, next time you go to a fucking flea market and you're thinking about buying a hide-a-bed, you happens all the fucking time. Ricky, it does not. Well, next time you go to a fucking flea market and you're thinking about buying a hide-a-bed, you should unfold the fucking thing first. That's all I'm saying. Well, I would anyway, Ricky, just in case there's something else in there. I wouldn't unfold it to make sure there wasn't a human skeleton. What else would be in the bin?

Well, you'd want to unfold it just to make sure there wasn't a dog or... A chinchilla. See, that's just buzz. Or, you know... You're thinking like Ricky now. Oh, somebody might play a prank. It could be full of shitty diapers. You get it home, you open it up, and boom.

I could see, like, maybe a guinea pig or something, but... I don't know. Let's just move on. I can see... I know people that would do that as a track. What, stuff they're... Yeah, fill a hide-a-bed with shitty diapers and take it to a flea market. I thought you meant guinea pigs.

No. That wouldn't be a very nice thing to do with those pigs. They're not pigs. Well, fuck off. Guinea pigs. Mother's a pig. What? You bang pigs.

I'm just saying I'm hungry. If Ricky lived on a farm, he would definitely be banging pigs. That's a weird thing to say. Oh, you're weird. Remember that time you ate a guinea pig, Ricky, because you thought it was like a little bacon-ater? I did eat a guinea pig. I'm not proud of it. Did you know he ate a guinea pig?

I know he ate a guinea pig. Because you thought it would be like mini bacon. I thought it was like a miniature pig, you know, all parts would taste like a pig. No. Did you eat the whole thing? Not the head. Oh, God. Fuck.

You deep fried him. Sick. You deep fried him. Ate him like a little snack. A little beer batter. Oh, you beer battered him? Nice. I didn't know you beer battered him.

Fuck, I just had a flashback, boys. What? I didn't finish my beer battered them. Fuck, I just had a flashback, boys. What? I didn't finish my Tallboy from last night. What the fuck is that? It's Tallboy. Homemade. Well, you drink this side, and then you flip it over and you open this side, right? You taped two beers together. Yeah, I just need one hand then. Two beers.

Ricky, that's... Why would you want to do that? Ricky, why wouldn't you just have two separate beers? No, but it's... because then you gotta hold fucking both hands, right? Now I can do whatever I want. I can fucking dance or punch people. No, but you could set this one down. You wouldn't have to hold the two of them. If the other one's not open, why would you hold it? It's more for when you're going outside and you're walking around, right? Going for a little walk, you finish this one.

I know, but the whole time you're drinking this one, you're shaking the piss out of this one. So when you open this one, it's going to be all, you're doing this. It does foam up a little bit, but it's not bad. It's worth it. It's fucking awesome. So you're two-festing with one fest. Is that the theory? I think they should sell them like that.

You're double-festing with one fest. They're not going to sell them like that. I like that. You know what? That's pretty good. That's a pretty good slogan, too. Double-fest it with one fest. They're not going to sell them like that. I like that. You know what? That's pretty good. That's a pretty good slogan, too. Double-fest it with one fist. Sylee's Beer Twins.

Sylee's Beer Twins. It's fucking this ridiculous, Ricky. Why would you put the effort into taping it together? Breakfast is fucking pretty liquid and smoky this morning. Excuse me. You got any other fuck-fuddy facts? Yes, I do. Listen to this morning. Excuse me. You got any other fuck, funny,

facts? Yes, I do. Listen to this one. The 2020 Olympics might have skateboarding and surfing and they're talking about, you know,

taking suggestions for other categories. Oh, fuck. What are you thinking? Well, I was thinking you probably should submit, you know, joint rowing.

That would never make it. It's not really a sport. It could be. Yeah, I submit, you know, joint rowing. That's not really a sport. It could be. Yeah, I guess so. Competitive joint rowing. It's not really that physically demanding, I guess. Well, no, I guess not. It's not really a sport. I guess most Olympic athletes are, you know.

So the only problem with surfing, though, is then the Olympics always has to be on the fucking ocean, right? It's going to fuck over a lot of places. There's no surf. I don't know how they deal with that. Yeah, that's a weird one. They probably build a wave pool, one of those surf pools. You know, where the water's shooting by and you just surf in one spot. They wouldn't do that, Bubz.

They might. They wouldn't. Think about it. Well, they'd have to put sharks and shit in it. What? No, they wouldn't think about it. Well, they'd have to put sharks and shit in it. What? No, they wouldn't. They'd build a fucking surf tank. They're not going to build a surf tank for the Olympics, boys. That's why most people watch surfing.

How are they going to do it then? Because then they can control the fucking waves and shit, man. A lot of people watch surfing hoping that a fucking shark is going to come into play. Fuck one of them over. I'm hoping that a fucking shark is going to come into play. Fuck one of them over. People are watching because they hope people will get munched on by a shark. No, I'm not saying that.

But you want to see a fin in the background and say, holy fuck, those guys are crazy. Extra dangerous. So when you're watching surfing, you're looking for fins. I think it's a lot more challenging if you're dealing with fucking sharks, killer whales, maybe even seals. Seals. Oh yes, it would be more challenging, I'll give you that. No question. It's more challenging to concentrate if you've got a fucking great white nip at your heels.

Yeah, I would suck. So I think they are going to build a wave tank, otherwise how the fuck are they going to have the Olympics anywhere other than on the coast? Not just the coast. Big fucking surf coast. I have no fucking idea, okay? You're looking at me for answers. I have no idea. You're the one saying we're fucked. Surf tank. Okay, they're going to build a surf tank.

With sharks. Without sharks. Seals. Harmless sharks. Toothless sharks. Without sharks. Seals. Harmless sharks. Toothless sharks. Why even put them in, Ricky, if there's no threat? If they're not, you know, no chance they're going to eat you, what, are they just going to come lick you? Gnaw on you?

Gum you? Plus, why are you even, like, you continue to talk about this shit? Like, let's just end it. They're not going to put sharks in the fucking Olympic shark surf tank. Toothless sharks? Toothless ones. I'd love to fight a toothless shark. Oh, my fucker.

Okay, we'll move on, but... No, just wait now. I would like to address this that was just brought up. I think you said I'd like to fight a toothless shark. Well, I would fight one. Fight him how? Whatever it took. He's going to need a bit of water so if I go waist deep

he can come at me. I mean, he's still got a tough nose. He can come at you from far away and probably still hurt you a little bit. So you're going to be standing out of the water, punching into the water, beating the fuck out of a toothless shark? I don't know. I wouldn't hurt him or anything.

I'd wrestle him. Maybe ride him around. Oh, you'd wrestle him? Trying to, like, choke him out, maybe? I would love to see that. That would be pretty fucked up. I mean, if it was toothless, it would be pretty funny. But really, really fucked.

And highly unlikely, Rick. I like these fun facts. Let's move on. I think they're fun, too. Oh, yeah, this year's not a fun fact, but this year's a funny one. Where is it? I just read it. Oh, fuck.

I hope it doesn't make me laugh. No, you're going to love it, Ricky. Listen to this. I'm sober again now. A too-high Ohio man called 911 and was found among Doritos and Chips Ahoy cookies. He's 22. He got too fucked up. Couldn't feel his hands. Okay.

I was going to say I've been there, done that, but I wasn't that fucked up. Couldn't feel his hands. Called 911. Police came and found him covered in Doritos and Pepperidge Farms. Goldfish. That's a fucking strong indica. He hadn't eaten in a while and it fucked him. But didn't that happen to Randy? He used to switch his sativa.

Back when he was like 13, 13, 14? Yeah, I don't think, I think he was just pretending. He was looking for an excuse to say that he ate everything in the house. So he said he got too baked. I don't think he was even baked. No? He was just more embarrassed that he ate, you know,

17 bags of chips. That happens in fucking every town and every city fucking once or twice a week. What the? That fucking stupid fact. That's pretty stupid, Bob, so that happens everywhere, man. Well, okay, fuck you, and you look up some stuff. At least I'm putting some effort into it.

Fuck's sake. Oh, this is about Playboy. Do you know what's happening there? Yeah, I'm... What the fuck, Egg? I'm not a big fan of that. Hugh Hefner said no more full nude ladies in Playboy anymore. He's shutting down the... What? That's it, man. It's all about the articles inside and shit. He's shutting down the... What? That's it, man. It's all about the articles inside and shit. He's shutting down the beef shots. Yeah. I mean, have you guys ever read anything

in those magazines? I haven't, really. I've read all kinds of stuff. I'm a good reader. You weren't reading anything in Playboy. Fuck off. I've read most of of stuff. I'm a good reader. You weren't reading anything in Playboy. Fuck off. I've read most of the articles. Okay. Most of the articles in Playboy. You're lying. Like, of all time? You've read hundreds of thousands of articles.

I don't know how many it was, but I took a good stab at it. Are you thinking about the cartoons, maybe? Those two, yeah. You didn't read anything. Boys, when I go to jail, I read a lot. Why are you lying, Ricky? What else we got, bud? Anything? Because I don't know much about any of that stuff.

Oh, about the, uh, this one's for Canada. Did you see that Tory candidate out west? No, what? She's talking about the, she's running for, you know, government, conservatives. Yeah. She's talking about oil spills, and she said, well, fuck, it's no big deal if there's an oil spill. Oil comes from the earth, so it's just going back to where it came from.

No big deal. It's a big oil spill. It's true. Are you kidding me? Makes a lot of sense when you think about it. It doesn't. All these people are fucking, oh, are fucking so worried about these oil spills. Where does the oil come from, boys?

Well, it comes from the ground, Ricky. We're talking thousands of fucking feet. It's not like... It's like water. Water comes fucking shooting out of the earth, and then it lands on the earth, goes back into the earth. And what is it when it goes back down? Water again. Holy fuck, Ricky. No, earth. It goes back into the earth. And what is it when it goes back down? Water again.

Holy fuck, Ricky. No, man. It's oil. It's going to be like... But where does the oil come from? It comes from the earth, Ricky. But it comes from... Say that's the fucking earth right there.

This Pringles can. Say there's the top crust where everybody lives. The oil's down here. All right. So you're sucking it way up here. Adding a bunch of shit to it. Chemicals and whatnot. And then you're sucking it way up here adding a bunch of shit to it chemicals and whatnot and then you're just spilling it right here but then what happens it's gonna go right back down to here eventually right where it began its life

and i heard billy dixon he had to drill his fucking well almost two kilometers down. What? If that water shot out of the earth and... Same fucking principles, boys. When did fucking Billy Dixon dig a two kilometer deep well, Ricky? And how would he do that? Jesus Christ,

Rick. Billy Dixon couldn't fucking drill five feet Jesus Christ, Rick. Billy Dixon couldn't fucking drill five feet into the earth, let alone two fucking kilometers. Are you kidding me? That guy's a fucking knob. All right. Okay, I fucked that up. Holy shit. Billy Dixon's only got one arm.

He's fucked. Billy Dixon's only got one arm, Rick. Why don't you pick Billy Jackson? This is the point where most people are like Fuck Should I grab another beer? It's Ricky

Boom I know but when this one runs out You still gotta go to the fridge and get a beer And the other shitty part though I hate to admit Is it's very top heavy now Yeah one runs out you still gotta go to the fridge and get a beer and the other shitty part though i hate to admit is it's very top heavy now yeah well yeah it's just it's a dumb idea man it's one of the flaws with the uh unless you crush the bottom can which you could probably well no then it's not going to sit at all oh you could crush that you should have a weighted ball in the bottom

and when you're finished, the mechanism releases it. The ball goes down and you just do this. Oh fuck. Crush the fucking thing. Oh for fuck's sakes. Yeah, that's brilliant. Move there, Julian. Oh yeah, just... Now you gotta drink it faster, okay? See, this is fucked. This is a fucked idea, man.

Alright? Stupid. Or... Pluck this little baby into this little guy. Holy fuck. Jesus, Ricky. You got a whole new idea here. You watch. All right.

Look at that. And you can almost keep your hand down at your side now, right? Man, you got chips when you get hungry. That's right. You know what? If they made the Pringles where you open them down here, you know, and the chips come out like a little upside down pass, you know what I mean? Then you'd have your beer and your chips.

Yeah. There's no way they'd do that, man. See, you know what we should do? Call up fucking Wackerly, tell him we're coming to Dragon's Den. He'll say smoke another one. That's what he's going to say. He's going to say fucking sign me up. No, he's not, man.

For the fucking beer and chipinator. Fuck, I thought that was a towel. Get Wackerly on the phone right now. That is going to make us a million dollars. I'm not talking about that stupid idea, man. I will not be taking money. Beer holder, chip dispenser. It's a good, I mean, people might try it, but it's fucked.

What would it be called, Ricky? Me and you, we're going 50-50 on this. Beer holder chip dispenser. What do you want to call it? I need another joint for that, bud. You know what? I'm not feeling it. What do you mean?

You mean like you have to fucking peel the opening? Yeah, you just have a little tab there. And then the chips are ejected on a spring. I think I can work with it. We've got to stop talking about this and we've got to end this. Okay, we're done. What do you mean we're done? I'm done. I don't want to talk about Pringle.

Well, some people can't see. We've only been talking for five fucking minutes. I just woke up five minutes ago. It's been a half hour. Bullshit. Julian, I don't think it We've only been talking for five fucking minutes. I just woke up five minutes ago. We've been, it's been a half hour. Bullshit. Julian, I don't think it's been that long. It's been a half hour, man, I'm telling you. All right, well, I'm going to fuck back to bed then.

Well, we need a big zinger for the finale. Got nothing. You should sing something. zinger for the finale. Got nothing. You should sing something. Sing something from the heart. When do I ever sing, man? Well, that's what I mean. This would be a very special thing if we ended it with you singing. You're not going to get me singing.

I'm Lampy. Sing us a song, Lampy. No. All right, we're done then. See you later. Wait, wait, just wait. We're not done quite yet. Ready? Mm-hmm. No. Alright, we're done then. See you later. Just wait, wait, just wait. We're not done quite yet.

Ready? Mm-hmm. How you doing under there, bud? Mm-hmm. He's fucked. Ready! Ta-da! That's it.