Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 16 - Rollin' Right into Heaven - on a Flock of Reindeer

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Terry's back in Sunnyvale, and he's making himself at home! He'll only be there for one or 10 days, no big f**kin' deal. The Boys discuss fighting bears, the science of heaty and coldy, and storming Area 51. Also: Ricky and Terry retell the story of baby Jesus! They might have got a few details wrong though...

Come on, Julian, let's do this. Nope. Dark after dark, let's go. I'm not doing it unless Ricky's doing it. Well, get him the fuck up then. Boys, I'm too fucked up today, I can't. Ricky, the people are here, the camera people are already here. Don't care, man.

Bob, remember you had a crush on this dude? What dude? This dude. Turn around. I don't even need to look because I never had a crush. Just turn around. Boy George. I never had a fucking crush on Boy George.

Yes, you did. You dressed up as him for like fucking two months. I dressed up as him one Halloween. It doesn't mean I had a crush on him. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was two months, man You were fucking 10 or 11 Do you

Remember you were singing the shit out of that fucking song Yes, I was Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, chameleon I still know all the words Doesn't mean I had a fucking crush on the man You had a crush on him Just, boys, come on Not doing it, man

Get Ricky up Told you, I want nothing to fucking do. Look, the new hot sauce came in. Awesome. Talk about it. Ricky, look. The new hot sauce is here. Right on. Well, why don't you talk about that for like 20 minutes, bubs?

Bubs. That's gonna be decent. Talk about it for 20 minutes. You gotta get this shit going, man. No, Ricky, come on. I want you to try it. Get the fucking door, man. Who the fuck is at the door? Hello?

Holy fuck. You guys home? Hey, Bubbles, it's Terry. Ricky? Ricky, it's Terry. You guys still here? Terry's here? It's Terry. No way, man.

Hey, what's going on, Terry? Come on in. Right on. Right on. Hey, Terry. Hey, how's it going, guys? Hey, what's going on, Terry? Come on in. Right on, right on. Hey, Terry, man. How's it going? Oh, fucking great. Just in the neighborhood. Just thought I'd swing by.

You said, remember last time I seen you, you said come by any time. Yeah, man. You didn't say that, did you? Yeah, man. Right on. I thought you went home back west long ago. No, like, funny story. I tried to, and then... Yeah, just help yourself.

That's great. That's, uh... Is that right? Yeah, no, I'm just... That's Bubbles beer. No, no, no, yes, help yourself, bud. I wasn't being sarcastic. Yeah, no, I, uh, I was on my way back there, and lo and behold, I, um...

Like, I do have some ancestors here, so... Up near Amherst? You guys been to Amherst? Yeah. Here, have a seat. Boys, get the fuck up here. Yeah, it was... I'm told you, not until he gets up. Can you...

Terry, cheers, bud. Right on. Are you hurting your unit today? I'm fucked today. Oh, you need another one, I'll get you one. Oh, man. That'll fix you. That's how it goes, eh? I need food. Bub Oh, you need another one. I'll get you one. No, man. That'll fix you.

That's how it goes, eh? I need food. Bubz, you said you were gonna fucking bring food. I've got breakfast fucking sandwiches and hot sauce and liquor. Right on. Weaky, weaky. Hands off, Snakey. What else do you want?

You guys heard that one before? Weaky, weaky. Hands off, Snakey. No. No, man. Well, you know, like, because you guys have a chub. Hey, are you hungry? Sure.

There's breakfast sandwiches warming up. Right on, you guys do it great here. Oh, fuck off. Get those out and watch your hands. All those will be hot as a fucking. I got calluses, eh, you know, on my hands. So there you go. Right on.

Ricky. Sweet. Fuck. I should have come here a couple days ago, because, like... Maybe you should have called us before you fucking just dropped by, man. Sorry, sorry, but... To people's houses you don't even fucking know, man. Don't even... You don't gotta be rude.

I just ain't got a phone, right? Like, currently, so... Here you go. There's hot and ready. Catch it, hot potato. Where are you living at, man? Oh, I'm not really anywhere right now. Like I said, I was up in Amherst there. Here you go. Thank at, man? I'm not really anywhere right now. Like I said, I was up in Amherst there. Here you go. Thank you, man. I feel like I'm just rolling right into heaven here.

Beers and hot food. Just make yourself at home, man. Yeah, man. Well, if you ever need a place to stay, man. Ricky. For sure. Actually, funny you say, I was going to ask. Maybe I could stay one or ten days or whatever.

Sure, man. Because my uncle, right, like, that I follow. You can stay for as long as you need to. Well, Ricky, we're staying in here with the, you know, with the heat and everything. You're the only one with the air. There's not enough fucking room for him, Ricky. Why not? Because we're staying here this week.

You guys sleeping right here? No, I'm sleeping on the couch. You can't, Terry. You're not gonna, he's not gonna want to sleep on the kitchen floor. I'm fine wherever. Like, honestly, you won't even know I'm here. It'll be like a real short stay. I just gotta wait there,

finding out who owns my uncle's container. Because he croaked, right? And then I'm like, hey, I'm... I'm a family. Your uncle passed away? Yeah, I never met him, though. All right, just a second. I did... The baked one wasn't mine. Mine was the I never met him, though. All right, just a second. I didn't...

The baked one wasn't mine. Mine was the sausage one. Mom. I just got the fucking... I got the bacon one here, man. I got sausage. All right, thanks. Oh, fuck.

Sorry, man. Here, take a fucking bacon one. You know what? I already mouthed it. No, I don't want that. No, no, no, no. I don't want it. I don't want it.

I don't want it. I'm sorry, but you can start on this side, and when you get close to my lips, you can just sort of lay off. Yeah, man. Here, take it. Here, maybe there's another one. They're not labeled, so... Fucking grab away, man. Just fucking grab away.

Sorry, bud. What the fuck is in this, man? Never been to a place quite like this. Sorry, I just spat on it. Fucking bacon. Oh, fuck. Let me try again, man. I have a sausage, I'm sorry.

Okay, here you go. There's butter in here. Butter and garlic. I don't know what the quits are. Yeah, just enjoy your sausage sandwiches. Terry, don't listen to Julian. You don't gotta be rude. I don't actually know a lot of people around here. I was digging in people's fucking fridges and stoves and shit. That's fucking rude.

Who does that? He does. Oh man, that sauce is good. That's really fucking good. Kerry, drive the hot sauce onto her. See what you think of that. Let me see this. Oh, your guys' faces is on it.

Yeah, it's ours. Ours is our hot sauce. Try her out. Did you just make the one? What do you mean? The one bottle. That's all we got, yeah. No, no, it's coming out in stores.

Are you serious? Oh yeah, there's not just one bottle. I mean, that'd be quite a graphic to have printed up the one bottle. Who would do that? Do we gotta sell it or no there's a company gonna sell it settle the stores they're online or whatever we get free hot shots for life oh I'm I'll take one off your hands then no well

that's yeah no you can have this one. Sweet. No, you can't. That's Ricky. What? No, there's nourishment in this. I could survive for a little while on it out there. Ricky, that's just a prototype. That's the only one we have. I know. Right on. I got the prototype.

Alright, so this is park after dark. We might as well just do the show, boys. Doesn't matter that Terry's here. Terry, you ever been on... Well, yes, he's been on this one before. Some guys followed me with them cameras there. Yeah, I forgot you were on this one before. I was right on the...

So I recognize that guy there. Pops, I can't... This is not... This is just not the same, man. What do you want me to do, throw him out? I don't fuckingops, I can't. This is not, this is just not the same, man. What do you want me to do, throw him out? I don't fucking know, man. It's like I'm talking to like a Trevor fucking... Corey Jacob kind of hybrid.

No, he's not bad. Who are those guys? He's way worse than fucking Trevor, man. No, come on. Yes, he is. Who's Trevor? He's a buddy of ours who used to hang around the park. Ooh.

That is nice with the air conditioning in here. Did you see Ricky got a new heat pump? Yep. Oh, wow. You know what a heat pump is? Yeah, like it's, but it's low. Well, believe it or not, it can suck the heat out of cold air and through a couple of condensers and coils and stuff. It can blow out heat just by using the cold air.

Right down to minus 18, it can suck heat out of the air. All right, but wriggle me this. How does it make heat in the winter and cold in the summer? Because two different processes, Ricky. Somebody's fucking smart that came up with it. I know that. Wait, you're saying it takes hot air from the cold air? Exactly.

And then it takes the cold air from the hot air? Yes. Fucking smart machine. It can air that's cold, minus 18. It still has 85% of the heat in it that it had when it was 21 degrees. How? Don't know.

Don't know, but... It actually doesn't make any sense to me. How's our heat in cold air? Yeah, man. It's in there. It's in there. You fuck Google it. It does have the word pump,

so is there pumping involved? Yes. Socks are in, condenses or pumps are over to the other other through the thing, evaporation coil. I don't know, Ricky. Okay. But it's, you know, it's science. Basic science.

Same principle when you're pumping, you get sweaty, I guess. When you're pumping what? Oh. Yeah, you're right. Like when you're working out, you sweat and then you get cold. Yeah, or banging. Right, that's what working out is. That isn't what I mean by heat pump, boys. Well, I get it now.

Like a heat pump thing. Boom, boom. Horizontal refreshment. Right. What? It's horizontal refreshment. What? Horizontal refreshment. Yeah, that's what we were talking about. That's what we talked about last week. Do you recall?

No. I have no idea what you're talking about. Can we start the show? Let's start the fucking show then. Well, you should say hello to everybody. Well, we aren't on yet. Well, we are. What should I do?

I'll go over here. Just be yourself, man.'t on yet. Well, we are. Where should I stand? What should I do? I'll go over here. Like, where does this start? Just be yourself, man. No. Okay. Bob, why don't you just... Back there. No, no.

This is good. This is good. Welcome to back after dark. I think maybe I should go back there. Like, he's kind of right. I roll in here just feeding... Oh, my God. I ate his thing, you know.

Don't fucking listen to him, man. You can stay as long as you want. You can eat whatever you want. I'm not going to eat. I'm going to go back to work. I'm going to go back to work. I roll in here just feeding. I ate his thing, you know. Don't fucking listen to him, man. You can stay as long as you want. You can eat whatever you want, drink whatever you want. Right on, man.

See, Ricky's like a good fucking A then. Fucking A to that. I'll give you a cheers to that. You know how to give her. Right on, man. Cheers to, I'll be here like one day, ten days most. Julian, that's what Jesus would have did. Jesus used to invite people into his home. What the fuck are you talking about?

Bob, that's not a good example. You imagine. I bet if Moses came to his door, he wouldn't be like, no, man, you can't stay here. All right. Moses? Yeah, the guy that built the ark. That was fucking Noah, Ricky, not Moses.

Moses had the commandments, the tombstone. He broke one or something. Baby Jesus went up the mountain. It was 15 commandments, now there's only nine. No, all the commandments are there. He didn't break any. Baby Jesus went up what mountain? Mountain with the burning stuff.

Yeah, the snow on the top. You know what, Julian? This will be, I mean, we've got nothing to talk about. Why don't we have Ricky and Terry tell us the story of baby Jesus? Well, he was born on Christmas Day. Yeah. And then something with Santa was there, too. Yes. A king was there too. Yes.

A king was there. King Santa showed up. Yes, it was King Santa on his flock of reindeer. Yes. It's not that well known, but that's why it's connected to Santa, isn't it? Okay, so baby Jesus was born on Christmas Day and King Santa showed up on a flock of reindeer.

Wow. I think there was an egg. Jesus was the egg? Yes. He hatched. What? No, I don't remember that part. They put straw on an egg, and it got hatched.

But was baby Jesus in an egg, you guys figure? Well, when he said flock, I figured, like, and then the hay. No, there was hay there, but it wasn't... He wasn't an egg. He was born from the girl who... Mary, who never slept with nobody. The king banged her. King Santa banged her.

Right when he was invisible, because he can do that when he tops his nose, right? She must have known, though. No, that's the story. She didn't know. She probably felt it. It was like she just never had the heat pump and still got pregnant. Okay.

You know what? I found out kids watch this fucking show. Do you think kids should be listening to these two fucking guys? I think it's a great cake. You're probably offending what? 20 million, 30 million, 100 million people? No. Billion people? What? No, this is the way they learned it.

Yeah, but it's fucked. Not my fault if I was told wrong. That's right. What's Ricky supposed to do? What do you think happened? How come Santa and Jesus are on the same day then? I don't understand that. They explained that. You know what? I don't understand that. Yeah, explain that.

You know what? I can't explain that. Because Santa's fucked. He can suck my ass. And Jesus, that's a whole different fucking story, man. I don't even want to get into that. What's, where do you think? I don't think about anything.

So then what happened after he was born? On the 25th, is that the real date? Yeah. That's what I want to know. Because if that's the truth, then we can stitch it all together. So let's go with the premise that yes, that is the factual, actual day. Then it was the 12 days of parodying.

Yeah. They still celebrate. And Bob and Doug sung that song wrong. About the 12 days. Yeah. I know that one. Because they say beer instead of something like love or horses. They just made up their own fucking version of the song. Okay, man?

It was their song. Yeah, it wasn't an accident. It wasn't an accident. They knew what they were doing. They knew what they were changing the words. Bob and Don. They did it on purpose? Yes, man.

Yeah, Ricky, you don't think they actually thought those were the words, do you? Were they there when he got born? No. No. Not even close to being there. Why were they singing the song at his birth then? Because they were just singing a fucking song. It was like the other song.

So there just happened to be a concert going on. No, Ricky. What the fuck is he... What concert? What are you talking about? Every year they... See, every time you guys get together... Yeah? This happens.

No, we're just solving science problems, that's all. Yes, Julian. You're not solving a fucking thing, though. That's the problem. You're teaching people things that are not fucking even real. So then what happened? They had to... So he was born, King Santa showed up on a flock of reindeer, and then they partied for 12 days. And it snowed. And then it snowed.

I don't know if that means, you know, there was cocaine around or if it actually was like snowstorms. Oh, so there was a big cocaine fucking snow party. They did used to do stuff back then. They had cocaine? They had opium. What? Yeah, they did lots of opium.

They did opium. They might not have had it refined right down to Pablo Escobar level, but... Is opium white? I don't know it refined right down to Pablo Escobar level, but... Is opium white? I don't know. I think it comes in different colors, like the rainbow. Different colored flowers. Fascinating.

I think flowers make opium. Poppies. Poppies, man. And they're red. Not allowed to grow poppies. I thought poppies were blue. Poppies are... Well, I mean, the one you wear on Remembrance Day is red.

That's a rose. That's not a rose. It's a fucking poppy. I don't get it. Why would they wear a poppy? Why would they wear a fucking rose? Because that's what you put on graves. No, but the poppy, oh, my God.

You don't know this? You don't know the whole thing? Flanders Fields. Yeah. In Flanders Fields. Yeah. In Flanders Fields where poppies grow. That's where all the Canadian soldiers are. Ned Flanders. Not Ned Flanders.

Not him. Flanders Fields, there's poppies growing, you know. So all the soldiers and the opium. That's all you need to know. My head's spinning. I'm just feeling like all this... This is what your show's about? Like, finding good information out there?

Well, yeah, it's about trying to make money. No more learning for the rest of this one. We're gonna be learning some stuff. We're gonna learn some stuff. Fuck. Ricky, I wanna show you this video. All right. Remember you always say you'd, you always say you'd wrestle a bear?

I would, but probably not a polar bear. No, this isn't a polar bear. This is a regular fucking bear. Okay. Okay, just wait now. What the fuck is that weird music, man? Here, you can just go to full screen on this. Okay.

Okay, so look. See this bear? See him look off? See, he doesn't look like nothing. Don't fucking take him on. You, okay. You think so, do you? Yeah.

Yeah, so he's just, you know, cute little bear. He looks harmless. Yeah, he's harmless, all right. Watch this. Oh, look, he's coming up for some, to get a pet. Jesus Christ. Holy fuck. See that?

They're faster than I thought. They're really fast. Did you see that? And he was going like this, too. Claws up, around the neck. Then he started fucking biting your neck. He just grabbed the back of your head. Tried to crush your fucking skull.

Bite your face right off. And you say you can fight them. You just dodge right. He goes in, and then you fucking crank him in the back of the head. How about that? No. No, man. Ricky, you could punch a bear in the back of the head.

It wouldn't even flinch. If you had a boulder, man, fucking smashing it in the skull. Wouldn't even flinch. You'd make him madder. Can bears laugh? I don't know. If I had to bet on this, like, I don't know. I don't know this guy that well, like, only a handful of times, but I don't know.

You think you could beat a bear? Well, maybe because you watch like all those fight shows and stuff. Like he might use a knee under the chin. I have moves that nobody's even seen before. It's a fucking bear, man. Did you see how fast he was? He's fast. And he's about 600 pounds.

Not as fast as me. He's 600 pounds and he's that fast. Can bears laugh though? I don't mind losing, but it would suck if they could laugh. He's, like, beating and laughing at you. Fucker. Fuck that. Bears definitely don't fucking laugh.

Well, the Russians are good at bears dance, so if they can dance, they can probably laugh. That makes sense. What the fuck? No, man. They can cry, so why can't they laugh? Bears can't laugh. Bears can't cry? I've seen one crying at the zoo.

He was sad because he was in a cage. What was in that hot sauce we ate? I don't know. We should eat more. I feel good again. I was bit fucked. I never know. This place is sweet, I have to say.

You should come with me. Where? Area 71, or 61. We're going there in September. You're not, Ricky. There's a million of us signed up. We're going there in September. You're not, Ricky. There's a million of us signed up. You're not going to that. They can't kill us all.

Then we're going to hit area 420 and area 69. Yeah. We're going to get all three of them at once. That's going to be a fucking good road trip. Because they're all there. Area 69. What is that now? That sounds fun.

That fucking sounds greasy. Well, that's where they do all the, you know, like, secret sex research. Area 69. Sacred sex research. What the fuck is Area 69? How about I Google that? It's true. Maybe.

I think. Area 69. How did you get signed up to that one? Ricky, you're not storming Area 51 with those fucking... I want to know. ...ghost balls on the internet. You know what? We're not leaving there until we find the fucking alien crap.

Ricky, do you know what'll happen if a million people try to take Area 51? Guess what's going to happen. There's going to be a million people missing. Mysteriously. They just vanish, they'll say. I don't know what happened. They will... You cannot storm Area 51.

Area 69, you know what Area 69 is? What is it? It's on the fucking Grand Theft Auto game. Area 69, it doesn't even fucking exist, man. Well, it exists, it's right there. It's in the digital world. Yeah. Yeah, but you can't go fucking visit it.

You just did. Maybe that's what we'll find at 51. Right. We'll walk right in. And then it's gone. 51's probably digital. They'll just rename it to something else.

That's what they do. It used to be something totally different. It'll be 51B or C. It used to be the desert. They changed the name of it to an area

and there was lots of area names taken so 51 wasn't taken. Makes sense. So what, do you even know what's at this area 51? I know that they raise aliens and they build alien crafts there. They raise aliens.

So it's like an alien firm. Well, and some kind of crafts that aliens like, I guess. UFOs. No, I think it's like... Flying saucers. arts and crafts. What? Arts and crafts? Crafts. He means they do crafts. Like they make macrame fucking...

Crafts like arts and... They glue macaroni to fucking bottles. Try to figure what they're good at. So that's what the aliens are doing. What else would they be doing? Just sleeping? They gotta entertain them. So you're willing to get fucking shot by some crazy fucking soldier trying to get in there with a million other people. You won't even get shot. They'll get vaporized.

They'll just go boop! I don't think they have that technology. That's cool. Maybe that's how you get into 51. You get vaporized. But then where do you go? I don't know. Can you get unvaporized no you can't do it in star trek all the time they unvaporize people they're like

so yeah maybe it's like the holy deck they don't unvaporize people man they don't want you you vaporize you're fucking vaporized easy jerry man so as you're super thirsty do you say maybe it's like the holy deck? Yeah, the holy deck on Star Trek. What's the holy deck? The thing with the grid with the yellow lines

and stuff and then Kirk's in there. No, not Kirk. The other one. The other one? Yeah, the whole. Scotty? No, the other newer captain

who's bald. Jean-Luc Picard. Yeah. Yeah. He's in there doing workouts or whatever and playing violins and then that's where you feel good? You know Star Trek, you must. I didn't watch that one, man. I watched the old one.

Was that the one with the robot? No, that was Buck Rogers. You're thinking of Twiggy. Remember Twiggy? Buck Rogers. I'm having like, my brain is having like the... Remember he was a little tin guy about this big and he'd come out bitty, bitty, bitty high. Like a floating garbage can? No, no. What was the one with the fighter jets? Battlestar Galactica.

Okay. There's a lot of them. I'm firing slower this morning because I was ripping it last night. So normally I would have remembered that faster. No, but Battlestar, the original Battlestar Galactica which had the Cylons with the red eye which used to terrify the fuck out of me because I always thought they were real. That was Battlestar Galactica but Tweaky, the little robot, he was on Buck Rogers. Okay.

And he had the hoverboard? Bitty, bitty, bitty, hiya Buck. Remember that little guy? No, tell me Remember that little guy? No, tell me more about this guy. Like, did he float or? No, he walked. He was metal and he bobbered along and he had a big thing on his chest that lit up. He kind of looked like Flavor Flav, digital Flavor Flav. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Biddy biddy biddy. And he'd always say biddy biddy biddy before he spoke. Biddy biddy biddy hiya, buck. Biddy bid biddy, biddy. And he'd always say biddy, biddy, biddy before he spoke. Biddy, biddy, biddy. Hiya, Mark. Biddy, biddy. Oh, I gotta check that out. Yeah, he was fucked.

How come Flavor Flav's never said what flavor he is? Who's Flavor Flav? Flavor Flav. He's a country artist, isn't he? No, man. Ricky. Old school fucking rapper. Yeah, no, that's what I meant.

But doesn't he do a country song now about an old town highway? That's not Flavor Flav. No, that's another dude, man. Old school fucking rap. Yeah, no, that's what I meant. But doesn't he do a country song now about an old town highway? That's not a play, is it? No, that's another dude, man. No, that's what Billy Ray Cyrus and that dude. That's Lil Nas X, isn't it? Lil Nas. Do these guys live around here? One of them might.

Take my horse to the old town road. I'm going to ride till I can't no more. That's that song. There's an old town road right down there, too. Yep. No horses, though. No. No horses on that one.

Oh, God. There's not a fucking thing going on. I'm going to have another one, you know. Man, if there's one in there, it's yours. I'm drinking vodka, but I'd probably have a beer with you if you're looking for a beer partner. I don't know if I can use. Okay, sure. Listen to this one, Ricky.

This sounds like something you'd do. Man arrested in Spain had cocaine under his toupee. Smart, but not smart. Oh, God. You ever put cocaine under your toupee? I don't know if I ever have one of that type of toupee. Have I? Holy fuck.

A man spends almost five days sitting on a toilet? Sets a world record. Five days. That's jack shit. Was he shitting the whole time or just sitting there? No, man, you don't gotta do that. You just gotta sit there. So what's the difference

if you're sitting in a chair for five hours? Because you're on a toilet. It's grosser, I guess. I don't know. Is he naked? I don't think he's naked. Could you see his cock or anything? But you could easily do this, man.

Rick, you could spend, what, ten days up there? Well, that's a world record? That's a world... Oh, yeah, here he is. Look. Five days on the shitter? Look at that. He's like a fucking athlete.

Why don't we do it while we drive through 51? We'll just get shitters and take five days and go. What a weird thing. Oh, man, you could blow that away, man. You've got a bucket to clean yourself. We'll put a fucking shitter in the back of my car, and you could sit on it the whole way to Area 61, and we'll get there with a record

and make history when we find the aliens and their crafts. Wow, that's pretty... You just got to document the whole thing. How do you do that? Two and two together. How's that chipper dick to go on this little adventure with you? All right. Listen to this, boys.

Car thief, he got pulled over. Yeah. He was also carrying a rattlesnake and fucking uranium. He was fucking uranium? No, he had uranium in the car and a rattlesnake. Where would he get those kinds of things? Wow. Where was he going?

Two different stores. What? Ricky, you don't get uranium at a store. It was obviously stolen. I mean, that's nuclear. You can order online. Do you think he had them together for some reason, or is it totally unrelated?

No, I think it's unrelated. I think he's just sort of, you know, he buys and sells. I bet he was going to try to hide the uranium in the rattlesnake. You couldn't put uranium in a rattlesnake, Ricky. They found a rattlesnake, a canister of radioactive powdered uranium, and an open bottle of Kentucky Deluxe whiskey. Nice. Jesus, it was in Oklahoma City.

Uranium? Where in the fuck would he get powdered uranium? Amazon. Ricky, you can't buy fucking uranium on Amazon. No, no, not the Amazon. In the Amazon. Well, in the river. That's the biggest river in the world.

Yeah. They get all sorts of shit on that river, I bet. They don't have uranium in the fucking Amazon River. I thought that's what it could come from. No. It's natural. It's from the earth. Yeah, but they got to make it.

They got to turn it into uranium. It doesn't just blob out like a volcano. No, it's like oil. No, it isn't. It's cake. It's cake, isn't it? It looks like cake, but it comes out of the ground like a different type. Uranium doesn't look like cake.

I've seen it. You're thinking of plutonium. Plutonium 235. You've seen it? I saw it at a party. This guy had an old soup can full of it. No, he didn't, Ricky. He was lying.

You'd be dead right now if you had a soup can full of uranium. From what? Radiation poisoning. You would have died long ago. You'd have to eat it to get poisoned. No, you don't, Ricky. It just emits. Poisoning.

The definition of poisoning is you eat something and you get fucked up. You know, have the last one there, Ricky. It just emits. Poisoning. The definition of poisoning is you eat something and you get fucked up. You know, have the last one there, Terry. Actually, there's still this one here, too. Have them all, man. Okay. Excuse me. Excuse me. Let's be nice, eh? I'm going to go down to the liquor store. Jesus.

I'm not feeling the vodka. How about he comes with us and he buys us Must be nice, eh? I'm going to go down to the liquor store. Jesus. I'm not feeling the vodka. How about he comes with us and he buys us some booze, maybe? Jared, you want to go down to the liquor store? That's a little gift. Yeah, I'll go for sure. Definitely, I'm a little strapped right now, though, so I don't know how much I can, like... These guys will buy you whatever you want.

Right on, sweet. Well, this one's mine. Cheers to going to the liquor store, right on. Yeah, get me a bottle of that. No, you're coming, Ricky. We're all going to the liquor store. I'm glad I swung by, like I wasn't sure, but... Me too, man. ...fucking this is the best, one of the best days I've ever had.

Me too. Big road trip coming up. Tune in next time when you see what the fuck happened to these two wankers. You guys go to the liquor store and wake me around when you're back and... You should come, man. It's going to be fun. Promise. All right. I'm not buying any fucking booze, bubs. Have fun. Can you get some milk too, Julian?

Yep, for me and you guys. I was trying to stop the show by looking into the camera. Now I just look like a crazy person. You're not supposed to look at the camera. Ever. No matter what, you don't look great at it. Just say goodbye. That's the one thing they told me before.

I kept looking at it. And they're like, don't fucking look at that. So I don't.