Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 167 - It's Spooky-F**king-Dooky

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

The Gorilla speaks! It's a spooky-f**king-dooky episode for Halloween. Bubbles declares he will now be known as the 'Kernel'... or is it 'Corn Hole'?!! Oh yeah, and the GORILLA NEEDS STRAW! Episode 167 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Real scary, guys. Real scary, guys. We're going to put up with him this whole fucking podcast. He's a gorilla. Yeah, I know, but... He's got the Halloween spirit more than somebody I know. What? What's wrong with my costume? It's fucking terrible.

Terrible. You know how you get a present and you don't like it, but it's the thought that counts, you always say? Hey, gorilla. He's a great gorilla because his brain works like a gorilla's. No, but he's not even fucking speaking English, Bubs. Oh, yeah? You've got to listen to him go, eh, eh, eh.

Gorilla! Listen to the spooky sounds I got out of there. Spooky dooky. It's not really that spooky, man. It sounds like we're out in a ship and there's a fucking thunder and lightning storm. Okay, well you can turn that part off then if you don't like that, but don't touch anything else. Here, I'll get this out of my way. Me, me not like him.

Oh, the gorilla can speak. Me not like him, is that what he said? Him. You can turn her up, man. Spooky dooky. Oh, Julian her up, man. Spooky dookie. Aw, Julian. Sorry, bud. You can fucking burn my rat out, you'll know it.

All right, are we going to get this going or what? Fuck my eyes up and you'll know it. Yes, we can get it going. You're fucking... Are these things fucking necessary for this? They're my car, man. You're knocking shit over, man. Get this the fuck going.

All right, what's up, fuckers? This is official Trailer Park Boys podcast coming at you. This is podcast number 167, and we are celebrating Halloween. Halloween. Even though it's only Friday the 26th, we're going to keep partying until the 31st. That's right. I'm going to stay in my corn suit. You know, just my name.

From now on, you call me the Colonel. The Colonel. Get it? Do you make chicken? Get it? No, corn, Ricky, I'm a corn. I don't get it. You don't know what a corn colonel is?

Colonel of corn? What is it, a niblet? Oh, I know what a niblet is. Well, it's a Colonel. My name's not fucking niblet. It's the Colonel. We should call you fucking niblet. It's the colonel. We should call you niblet. It's the colonel.

Hey, nib. It's cornhole, if anything. Cornhole. That's another good one. There we go. All right, so what have we got up here, cornhole? Well, we've got all kinds. Look, I brought in the zombie.

I'm telling you right now, bud, we're going to have a fucking problem. Who? Me and a fucking problem. Who? Me and this fucking asshole. Keeps swinging his little mangy arms at me. This fucking fuck off. Who would be, if that thing was real, who would be afraid of that fucking thing? Look at him. I would be.

Kick him over in a second. Well, yeah, if he doesn't bite your leg off. Yeah, but you've watched the zombie shows, man. Since those things have been out, things like that are fuck all. Ooh, real scary, bubs. You wouldn't want to... You definitely wouldn't want to insert something into his mouth. Why would you...

Watch out with those fucking hands. I'm sorry. I'm not used to the giant hands. Get used to them, man. Here, you got something on your face. Get those fucking things away from me, man. Something on your face. Are you going to open up a beer?

Open up a fucking beer. Yeah, pour me a beer. Grab a beer from the cauldron. I'm not putting it in that. Not with those fucking hands. Okay, I'll take my hands off for now. Take your beer-chugging fucking hands. Pour it into my super glass, my Halloween glass.

Oh, you didn't even make the fucking noise yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about this? Shh. Yeah, here. Okay, this starts the podcast, officially. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, he wants a... I think the gorilla wants beer. Here, gorilla.

You want a beer? Gorillas need straw. Do we have a straw for his fucking beer? I like how the gorilla talks. Gorilla needs straw. It's like a caveman. Oh, gorilla, can you do me a favor? Can you go flick the power switch on over there?

See the breaker? Okay, Gorilla, here, just... Watch this, watch. He's gonna kill himself in that fucking bang. No, he's not. The breaker there, can you just turn the power on for me? Yeah, the breaker. Just throw the breaker there for me, bud. Ricky! Ricky!

Bubz. Fuck! Lacticute. That's fucking scary, man. You scared the fuck out of me. Look at that. Ricky, you broke the fucking handle off. There's no way to turn it off. Yeah, how much did you pay for this thing?

How do you turn it off? Jesus Christ. You broke the handle. What a waste of fucking money, bro. Fuck. That thing's decent. Okay, how much did the zombie cost? How much did that cost? I almost shit myself.

And these stupid costumes. This was free. This cost me nothing. I did a favor for somebody. What kind of favor? Corn wool? Mm-mm. Does anybody else have beads of sweat

rolling down their nut sack? I don't. I'm corn. I'm a cob of corn. I feel great. Well, you got a gorilla suit on, man. You got a fur coat on, Rick. It's warm.

Well, you got to think about these things before you fucking dress up as a gorilla. Gorilla. Warm. Gorilla's stupid. You think the real ones are this warm? What? Fuck, it'd suck to be this warm every day. Well, Ricky, gorillas...

They're not wearing a costume, man. It's their skin and their... Never mind, man. Then how come there's no fucking planet of the gorillas? What? Well, it's kind of sexist, isn't it? Planet of the gorillas? Yeah, they just got planet of the apes.

What does that mean, Ricky? Oh, they just got Planet of the Apes. What does that mean, Ricky? Oh, they should make a movie about the men. But Planet of the Men? No, gorillas. They're the men monkeys. What are you talking about? Aren't gorilla men monkeys? They're apes. Jesus, Ricky. What are apes then, Ricky?

Lady monkeys? I guess, I don't know. How does it work? Planet of the men. Planet of the men. Ricky? Oh, this corn is really starting to... Well, take the fucking thing off. ...corn me over here.

Better don't heat up too much or you'll pop. Ricky, stop with the corny jokes. Get it? Yeah, I get it, bubs. Fuck. All right, so what did we get? We got bags here. What the fuck is going on?

Oh, yeah. I thought we could... That's our treat bags. We went trick-or-treating last night. How much did you spend on all these fucking treats? No, when we went... We went trick-or-treating last night. You trick-or-treat five nights in Sunnyvale.

I didn't go trick-or-treating last night. I took your bag because you were... Dump out your treats, Ricky. Look at that fucking hog, baby. See what you got. One good thing about this costume, they can't tell how fucking old you are. That's right. They think you could be a six-foot-two child. Pop my cigarettes. I was down with those fucking things. Here, let's see what we got. Look at my treats.

Why the fuck would somebody give out diarrhea relief? What? I got diarrhea relief. Oh, that was Donnie. He was just giving shit out of his medicine cabinet. You got diarrhea pills? Not yet but I'm gonna after I eat all this. Look at this, I got a loaf of white bread. Fucking ginger ale. That's a weird one. I think that was Marguerite. All right, Chip. Pringles. Pringles, crunchos.

Does anybody want to trade? I'll trade some pork rinds for anything. I got hickory sticks, man. I got all brand. Who gave me hickory sticks? All brand cereal. I did. Thanks, man. I put those in there.

I got frosted flakes and all brand. I got some two scoops of raisins. All kinds of cereals. Cheezies, man. Fucking full-size Mars bar. Yes, Ricky. You know who was giving out full-size Mars bars? Who?

Donna. What about the full-size Kit Kat and score bars? Yeah, those are decent. Those are fucking good ones. Full-size crunchy bar. Donna asked me Yeah, those are decent. Those are fucking good ones. Full-size crunchy bar. Donna asked me to go in her bedroom. Who did? Donna.

Full-size arrow bars. You know what arrow bars are made out of? Air. Bubbles. Isn't that fucking nice? Get it? I get it, man. This is a good haul, boys.

Look at the treats. Trade it all, bud. We got so many treats. What's this, an eyeball? Yes, there's candy eyeballs in there. It's just Raisin Bran. Yours or mine? You guys got fucking cereal?

Yeah, I've got all... I don't want the old brand. Frosted Flakes are mine. Why are you taking my treats? Because some of my shit went over to your treats. Oh, this one's fucking empty. Frosted flakes are good, man. Cocksuckers.

Oh, yeah, I'll fuck over some Rice Krispies. Right on, we're good. Look at this bread. You're not going to eat that, are you? I don't eat that bread. Put that over here with me for now, then. How the fuck does a gorilla even eat? You can't get shit over there.

Their fucking hands are fucked. Bob, move this fucking zombie arm. I can't see you over there. Alright. Final warning, bud. Yeah. I'm not fucking scared of you. Just so we're clear.

Ricky, who are you talking to? That fucking idiot. What's he trying to do over there? Ricky, what are you doing? Who the fuck got hair? Just his spine. Don't hurt him. Fuck, it's hard to use grill hands. It's soft.

Their hands are shitty. Who is? Grillness. Watch him try to eat. Who is? Gorillas. Let's watch them try to eat. How you gonna... Okay. You can do it. Aw, Ricky, don't choke yourself. Mm.

I really like Wonder Bar. Is it working? Did you get it in your mouth? Yeah. Did you get it in your mouth? How are you making the jaw go? I don't know. It's moving. It's moving. His mouth is chewing. Maybe you're really turning into a gorilla. He might be. He actually looks pretty good, man.

That's a good gorilla outfit, bud. Okay, boys, did you know I got some facts? It looks pretty good, man. That's a good gorilla outfit, bud. Hey boys, did you know I got some facts? What? Can gorillas eat chocolate? They're chocolate? What do you mean? I don't wanna die. Dogs can't eat them.

Ricky. Ricky, it's your, it's you. You're not actually a gorilla. Oh yeah, okay. We're good. I can't deal with this, man. Fuck, I love weed being legal. It is fun, isn't it?

Did you know, Ricky, did you know that they ran out, though? I know, stupid fucking idiots. The government ran out of weed. The government actually ran out of fucking weed. I don't know if anybody knows that. Newfoundland, they opened their fucking doors up first thing in the morning. I think at 12.01 actually, when it became officially legal, they sold out one day, man.

Two weeks. Two weeks supply. They had a two week supply. Two weeks supply. They ran out in one day. Well, they underestimated the weed smoking capabilities of the Canadian public. It's a fucking good setup, what they underestimate it. The weed-smoking capabilities of the Canadian public. It's a fucking good setup, what they've done. Yeah, they just gotta get more weed in.

Yeah, they just fucked up on inventory. Do you like it, Ricky? Number one rule of a drug dealer? Have lots of fucking inventory. Yeah, that's a good rule to have, yeah. I agree. So now they're just losing fucking money. I think a good rule of thumb is do all your tests and all your statistics and everything

to figure out how much weed you're going to need. Do it all scientifically. And then whatever that number is, multiply it by 10. Good thinking. That's a good thinking. And then you're going to have maybe enough weed. The problem is all the stats and shit they have, almost every Canadian fucking smokes weed. Yeah, I believe it's a 10 multiplier.

That's what I believe. What the fuck does rule of thumb mean anyway? Rule of thumb? Yeah, is your thumb the boss? He makes the rule? Hmm. I don't know where that came from, rule of thumb. That's a good question.

I can look it up. I'm starting to get fucking itchy in this corn. Oh, man. You look fucking ridiculous, bubs. I look fucking awesome. I look like I care about Halloween. Maybe if you were fucking 10 years old, you'd look good. No wonder all you'd see when growing up in the world

is them fucking scratching and masturbating and pissing. Fuck. What are you talking about, Ricky? Are masturbating and pissing. Fuck. What are you talking about, Ricky? Are you gonna start pissing and jacking off, Ricky? If it'll fucking cool me off. Maybe eat some Pringles. I wanna see you eat a chip. I'm eating some.

Want some Frosted Flakes? No, I don't want frosted flakes. Ooh, a crunch bar. Did you open that? Man, it would suck to be this hairy, getting hair in your mouth all the time. But you wouldn't care, Ricky, because you're hairy and you're a gorilla.

They don't give a fuck. It might suck, though. They'd eat their own poop. So, Eve, what do you guys want to do? I want to keep smoking dope and drinking liquor and having fun, Halloween fun. Let's see by midnight who can eat the most of their shit. I'm not eating hurdley. I'm eating the Acoustics.

That's throw it in. Rick, we're not having a competition. What the fuck? Why? You see all this shit that I got here? Not including this, I'll give you the rest, all this shit for 20 bucks. No. Why not?

Because I've got plenty of treats myself. You've got a big supply of treats. I'll go 12 bucks. 15 bucks. 15 if I can pay you two Fridays from now. I'll give you the treats and two Fridays from now if you get the 15 bucks. If not, they're still for sale. You guys know that Christmas is number one?

It's the time of the year that people fucking spend a lot of money? Yes. Guess what number two is? Halloween. Halloween, man. You should have set that up better. I think Halloween's coming up fast behind us. I learned a lot about Halloween, boys.

Like what? Halloween, Hallow's Evening, All Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, All Saints Eve, all fucking names for Halloween. All Hal breaks loose. Where did it start? Where did it originate? The 31st of October is the Eve of Western Christian Feast

of All Hallows Day. That's right. So we've been celebrating all wrong. You're supposed to celebrate Halloween, and then for three more fucking days, it sounds like. Three days afterwards. Three fucking days celebration, I guess. Yes, I've been telling you that. I've been trying to turn it into a ten-day,

ten-day extravaganza. It begins the three-day observance of all Hallowtide, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints, hallows, martyrs, and all the faithful fucking departed. There you go. See that?

Bet you didn't know that. So did you know Halloween started in Ireland? Yes, I did. Well, the term Halloween actually is Scottish. But Halloween is more Irish than St. Patrick's Day is. That's true. In reality. It's Scottish for all Halloween.

St. Patrick's was used in the- How's that? Look, if I hook that behind my ears, is that nice? Yeah, you look like a pointy, you're more, yeah. Corn shark. You kinda look like a shark, man. Yeah, you do look like a corn shark. You ever heard of a a shark, man. You do look like a corn shark. You ever heard of a corn shark?

Are they dangerous? They are now. Because I am one. Are you bitey? Did you guys, do you know that song? Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo. Oh, don't start singing that. Do you guys know that one?

I hate that fucking thing. Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo. Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo. Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo. Corn shark doo doo doo doo doo doo. Corn shark. Oh. That got stuck in my head, bud. We were talking about weed. If you guys are going to buy the THC-infused genital spray...

What? It's mislabeled. It's not... You don't take it orally. You gotta spray it on your genitals. They fucked up. They were saying they had to eat it? Why would you eat genital spray? Good question. They thought by eating it, it would make their genitals twingle, I guess.

So what did it do to them? THC-infused genital spray? Yeah. Not very good tasting, apparently. So what do you do? You spray it on your unit? Yeah. And then does your bird get high?

Uh, we'll have to try it. I think it's mostly for women so they don't get sore from different things that they would be doing. But why would it be THC infused? You must get high off it. THC and CBDs. So that goes into your... So... parts? Goes into your parts and then you absorb it through your... your membrane. And then it's, uh... What does it do for you, though?

I don't know. I would think it would get you high, but... It'd get you high. Who knows? Here, did you guys know this fact about Halloween? Nope. Originally, you had to dance for your treats. Ah. It wasn't just, you know, say trick-or-treat and hold your bag out.

You had to go out with a, you know, a choreographed dance, you and your buddies. For now, that's what we're doing. If you want to, Ricky, I'll fucking, I can... I can pull out my old Michael Jackson moves. I like myself a good dance. Can you dance right now? Holy fuck! There's letters on here. You can smell... smell things. These slicker bars.

The what? The slickers. What are you trying to do over there, man? I don't have enough of them to make a fucking word, though. What are you doing? These fucking things have letters on them. Let me see. Hold me one. Oh! The little individual Snackers bars.

Here's an E. I'd like to buy an E. Alex? What did you call them, Ricky? Isn't it a slicker bar? Slicker? Slickers. I'm gonna eat that, slickers. Come here, you little bastard. Look, they're just little snicker nuggets. Snicker nugs.

You know what? I wonder if anybody ever dressed up as a corn in a grill and robbed a place. Got away with it. Let's find out. Day at three. It's a good idea, man. One of the fucking things on the...

the wiki... pedia... We'll talk about the Halloween, but there's also a story about this Delaware man that was charged with sexual assault on a miniature horse. What? Yeah. That's terrible.

He banged a horse. Apparently he sexually assaulted the horse, and then he tried to rob the place, and then the 73-year-old owner shot him. Shot the guy. But he's okay. Now he's got to go to court for sexual assault on a miniature horse and a bunch of other weird shit. So how did he, what did he do? Did he bang the horse? Did he jack him or what did he do?

I'm thinking it was full-on intercourse, yeah. Full-on? Yeah. Why would he do some weird shit, man? I guess because of the height. The height? I guess because of the height. The height? What do you mean, Ricky?

You think he'd be just the right height, do you? You'd need a ladder or a stepstool for a regular horse, I think. Depending on where they line up. I don't even know where they are. If you had a real horse, you'd have to fucking take a run and start and jump up. Hopefully things go where they should go. Hopefully goes in there? Who the fuck would do that?

You just thought of it. Dennis Rodman took a running jump, he said. Remember he told us he took a running jump and tried to dive onto a lady and he broke his cock, he said. Snapped it. Snapped it? Dennis Rodman, remember when we were playing basketball with him? He told us he busted his cock three times.

I don't remember that. He snapped it. Like, snapped his wing. You think if you snap it, once you break a cock once, you should probably never do whatever you did to break it ever again. Yeah, he broke it three times, he said. Fuck. That's a lot of cock breaking. This cock must have nine lives.

Bubz, what kind of fucking key does a ghost have? What? What kind of key does a ghost have? What kind of key? Yeah. A spoo key? Yeah. Nice one.

That's what it was. Nailed it. Made you look dumb, Julian. No, I'm just trying to fucking get the Halloween spirit going here. Oh, I do have a good story I could tell. Great. You can't stump me with a Halloween joke, by the way. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem, Bob?

What? Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? Why do they have low self-esteem? Mm-hmm. Because they're... Stumped you. Totally. No. Just wait. Skeletons,

why do they have low self-esteem? Because they're anorexic. What? He said because they're anorexic. Close. Because they're... Because they're... Because they're all bones and no action.

No, because they have no body to love. Ha! Gotcha! You know what? That makes me feel like destroying this whole fucking room. Rick, you don't... Fuck! Oh, you think it's funny, do you?

Well, you're fucked. All right, do you want to hear a nice story? This is a good one. Okay. There's a Michigan pizzeria, Steve's Pizza. Yeah. I guess they're pretty famous. I hear it. The Michigan Pizzeria, Steve's Pizza.

Yeah. I guess they're pretty famous. I hear it. This 18-year-old dude, Dalton, that works for them, delivered a pizza 362 kilometers to a cancer patient because they loved the pizza. That was fucking nice of him. Pretty awesome. That was nice of him.

What happened? He drove 362 kilometers. Delivered a pizza to this couple. They were in hospice care. That's really, really nice. They were going to go there for somebody's birthday, and I guess they got cocked around by the... That's like a four-hour drive.

Yeah. Pretty fucking awesome. Good for you, Dalton. That's an expensive pizza. You know what? What? A Crobly pizza in trial. Some people What? Acropoli pizza in Truro. Some people call it Acropole. The actual pronunciation is Acropoli.

In Truro, Nova Scotia. Hour away from Sunnyvale. They delivered pizza to me one night. Because it was my birthday. How did it taste? It was fucking delicious. If I was a gorilla, I would... Soggy?

No, they had it in the hot thing, and they actually wrapped... They put tinfoil inside the pizza box. Fuck! Closed the pizza box, put it in one of those warmer bags, brought her up. How come you never told us about it? Because I wasn't about to share. Well, you know what, bubs? I'm not going to share my treats with you.

Those are my treats! These are my treats. Mine spilled over that way a little bit. Here, that's yours. Hey, Ricky, there's an N. I think that's what I wrote one. What the fuck are you doing, man? Ricky, you can't shove a whole box of Pringles

in your gorilla mouth. I was trying to bite you off the foily stuff. Could you use your corn hand and just unfoculate that for me? Barely. Yeah. Let me make sure they're not poison, Ricky. All right, this might be tribal. I don't know if I can get a chip in or not.

Check this one out, bubs. So the zombie sees a chick walking down the street, right? Mm-hmm. He yells out through, hey, baby, Rick and Morty has set in. Get what I mean? Wink, wink. Yeah, I get what you mean? Wink, wink? Yeah, I get what you mean.

He means his wang's hard. Doesn't he? That's what it means. Is that a joke? That's a joke. That's a terrible fucking joke. Well, I'm trying to fucking... I thought the Pringles were still good, eh? The what?

Them Pringles. Listen good, eh? The what? Them Pringles. Listen to this one, boys. If you had been around for the earliest Halloween celebrations, you might have worn animal skins and heads. No, I wouldn't have been. Well, if you lived back then, you would have. Fucking chips. Not fun. How's it going, Ricky? It was hard to eat the chips.

You look like the fucking cooking monster. What is wrong with you, man? Hungry. Here, Ricky, take a full-size chocolate bar and shove it in the hole. Not the corn hole. What's your job, eh, Bob? Get it?

Jack-o'-lanterns were once made out of turnips, beets, and potatoes, not pumpkins. Look at those fucked-up jack-o'-lanterns. Let made out of turnips, beets and potatoes, not pumpkins. Look at those fucked up jack-o'-lanterns. Let me see. How come you're showing him everything and you're not showing me anything? Look. Those are awesome. They're fucked.

Do they still haul them out like they do with pumpkins? Because a turnip would not be fun. Yeah, they try to do stuff like that, it looks like. I know how to do this now. You just got to dump and pour. Fuck! I don't think any went in, do they? I got one! You got one?

Why don't you just tilt your head back? Tilt your head back and dump them in. What happened? Just tilt your head back. That's what he just did. Hey, in a few American towns, Halloween was originally referred to as Cabbage Night. Cabbage, they used to suck cabbage at people and shit, didn't they?

This came from a Scottish fortune-telling game where girls used cabbage stumps to predict information. What in the fuck? What the fuck is that, bubs? That's the spooky-dukey, spooky-dukey fog machine I bought. Stop fucking around, bubs. What? It's just making smoke for us.

We can make our own smoke. Some animal shelters won't allow the adoption of black cats around Halloween for fear they'll be sacrificed. I'll tell you right now, everybody that's watching, if I find out you're sacrificing kitties on Halloween, I will fly to your town and I will beat the living fuck out of you. You can't. That's fucked up.

There's people out there doing it, man. Yeah, well, kiddies are off limits. If you don't need any backup, I know a fucking good gorilla. Some studies have shown that Halloween actually makes kids more evil. It used to make us evil, didn't it? Well, we've done some things in the past that, you know. Ricky, what's the most fucked up thing you remember doing ever on Halloween?

Stealing the cop car, getting stuck at the beach. No, that was, yeah, that was crazy, actually. But I mean, you've done crazier things. Well, alone, being, you know, fucking 18 years old, stealing kids' candies. That wasn't cool, boys. Yeah, that was mean. Remember when we were 12? You set a bear trap outside Leahy's door on a step.

You tried to get him to walk in a bear trap. I know, and that poor kid, Melvin Johnson, what was he, seven or eight? Got his leg almost ripped right off. Aw, he was okay. I did feel bad about that, though. He was pretty fucked up. What about the year we robbed the costume shop

and sold all the costumes to people in Sunnyvale? That was cool. Yeah, that was cool. That was a good moneymaker. What was I that year? I took the best costume. I think I was Luke Skywalker. Yeah, you were.

And then we found out the owner of the store had Sunnyvale roots, and we felt bad about that, too. Yeah, you were. And then we found out the owner of the store had Sunnyvale roots and we felt bad about that too. Yeah. Oh, what about the time you fired the big string of fucking, those little rocket things into Donnie's? Remember that? I guess that was just last year.

No, what happened? There was a big thing, a big strip of those things that launch off. And you left them and threw them in Donnie's and he fucking almost, he was going to murder somebody. Remember, one of them shot him right in the wiener. He got out of the shower. That's awesome. That was fucked up. Remember the year you tried to have a Muscle Beach competition?

A what? Like a Halloween flex-off? Oh, that was... We were young. And I won. Speaking of that, Julian, you, uh... You were dressed up as Conan the Barbarian. You left your underwear at my place last night.

A what? Here, you left your underwear over... Those aren't fucking underwear, man. Those are your Sex Beach underwear. Hmm. Bubs, you know that there was probably a fucking wiener all over that thing. You think so? Fucking asshole.

Aw, man, that just dipped in my drink. Wiener juice. I hope there's crabs in that fucking pair of underwear, bubs. Well, boys, what do you think? I gotta get, uh, I gotta get rid of this stuff. I'm thinking I'm gonna unload this and make some money. We didn't carve our pumpkins. Ah, fuck, let's get baked and do that.

Then we gotta get baked and save the oceans. What? I got really high last night and I was watching this fucking thing on TV. There's this goddamn... oil leak off New Orleans. 300 to 700 barrels of oil a day since 2004. Yeah, I reckon there's oil leaking everywhere. Taylor Energy, fuckers. Their fucking goddamn platform sunk in the mud.

Fucking upper planet, man. For how long? 2004. What's that, 10 years? 12 years. 14 years. 14 planet, man. For how long? 2004. What's that, 10 years? 12 years. 14 years. 14 years, man. Jesus, Murphy, that's real?

We gotta fucking go down there, learn how to scooby, and weld, and do something. Scooby? Like Scooby-Doo? Underwater scooby. Here, just wait, boys. Look what I'm gonna do. What are you gonna do do, Bobs? Let's see. Don't do anything.

Look at this. We're live on the Instagram machine. Well, that was not very smart. Oh, Bob, you're not doing this again, are we? I look like a fucking idiot. No, look. Here. Halloween.

How's everybody doing? It's the Halloween. Making the Halloween podcast right now. There's some people. Look. Look, Julian's fucking shitty costume. I like this costume. It's easy, and I'm not gonna sweat my fucking ass. What are you dressed up as? I'm a devil.

A devil? Well, like a... I don't know, man. I thought you were a Viking. A ram or a Viking. Vikings, well, I may be a Viking. You're a't know, man. I thought you were a Viking. A ram or a Viking. Vikings... Well, I may be a Viking. You're a dickhead, basically. No, you're a dickhead.

Bob, show Ricky. He's gonna look like a fucking idiot. Say hi, Ricky. Hi, Ricky. Hmm. Gorilla. Look at this guy. Quick, he's choking on a Cheesy. He's choking on a Cheesy. He's what?

He's choking on a Cheesy. That's why he can't breathe. He's not choking on a fucking Cheesy. You can see it. It's stuck right in his mouth. See? You can see it. It's stuck right in his mouth. See?

Oh, fuck, is he... There. Ah! Cocksucker, bet me. There, get... Start the turn, bubs. You're gonna start the turn, buddy. There, he's... He's fine now. I got bet by a zombie. We'll have a fucking stake right through your heart soon.

Look at my decent costume. I'm a cob of corn. See you later. This has got fucking out of hand. I'm done, bubs. I'm done. Cheers. Say bye to these people.

Go to SquareNet. SquareNet.com. That's where you see the podcast.