Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 17 - Bank of Ricky

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

Nothing to see here, folks - it's quite normal to have a huge ATM machine in your living room! Can the Boys figure out how to open it before the cops come calling? Also: Find out Ricky's new nickname, why Germany is sehr f**kin' gut, and Bubbles' favourite Elvis song!

. Don't, you're not fucking filming this, right? Because we're not doing this yet. We just got to finish this and then we'll shoot the fucking thing, okay? Okay. Holy fuck, Rick. I'm putting out these fucking joints, man. Dude, I can't see what I'm doing.

All right, we'll just fucking get in here now. What the fuck is this, an inner password? Just start punching buttons in. Hold on a sec. Move, dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah! Fuck yeah! All right. That's still fucking...

We gotta get through that. Fuck! All right, I gotta... I'm gonna fucking... drill a hole, this thing through here. I'm almost through. Then we gotta put a... I don't know what the fuck... like a hook kind of thing on there. We're gonna need... Fuck!

Son of a fuck. Fuck you! You know what? We gotta get down through here or through the fucking front. All right. Well, I got a hole here. This is where... Hello?

Hold on a second. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who is it? What? The door's locked. Bob's... Just a sec. I gotta get dressed man, just one second.

What the fuck, connection failure? I said, Bob's in the pisses! Put it in the fridge! He's gotta look in the fucking fridge! Almost dressed buddy! What the fuck are we gonna say? Fuck, he's got a key? Bubs, hold on a second.

Bubs! Jesus Christ. I got a key. All right, just, all right, I'm dressed. Why wouldn't you open the fucking door? Just getting ready. All ready to go here. Just gonna have a game of cards.

Nothing in the fridge. Why are you guys both being so weird? Because I'm fucking baked, bubs. See my new car? I built that. Remember that? I built that in jail. Just found it.

That's a fucking good job right there. Ten bucks to get in here. Let's go. Ten bucks. What's that? Just something I ordered. Don't ruin the surprise. It's for you. What is it?

It's something I got for you for Christmas. It's a Christmas treat, Bubs. Boys? Look what you did, Bubs. I hate you! Well, did you ever- did you bring your bank card? Need any cash? Oh my god, where did you get it? Uh, just... I ordered it on, uh...

Ricky. B-Day. You didn't order it. You stole it. Nope. Okay, so I'm probably involved in this somehow, am I? Okay, you know what? Now that you're involved... Yes.

We've got this front piece open. Okay, I'll show you what's happened. We need to get through this fucking... We got this open down here. So this is... we need to get into this part right down here. Yeah, where the dye pack is. It's fucking secure, I'll tell you that. It's a lot harder than the last one.

The old one, the handles used to be over here. You can just get in there and fucking yank the cocksucker open. Now they move the fucking handle in the middle. You know what? Where did I touch it? I don't want anything. No, you don't want to get COVID. Don't worry about that. Just use some hand sanitizer and you'll be all right. I am not. I'm not worried about COVID, Ricky, for fuck's sakes. All right. And... Roll your hands out. No more COVID. Buffs, we did plug it in. It fires up. So is there All right. And hold your hands. No more COVID buffs. We did plug it in.

It fires up. So is there a way? So there's a die pack in it. You're lucky you're not covered in blue fucking paint right now. We're going to have to put your bank card. We'll just take out some money a little bit by a little bit. See, it's on. Do you know what this code means?

It wouldn't be hooked up to the network. Do you know how to get your plug it into a network cable? There must be a service thing in case it's fucking... You would have to plug in a network cable and know the fucking IP and the password and everything. Well, so you can't do it. It's basically a computer with its own... And who knows about computers? Huh?

Oh, fuck, it's bright. It's bright in here, hey guys? So, and you're already, you're on the camera. Nobody's gonna fucking see this. No, he didn't have the camera on. We're gonna turn it on now when we start the, uh, start the thing. All good to go. Where did you get it, Ricky? Just a second.

You know those online auction things they have? You know those online auction things they have? They were like, hey, got anybody want an ATM to put in their living room? I was like, fuck that'd be kind of cool. That's a fucking thing. You hear them about something and it hit you right in the head. And yeah, I got the highest bid on it. Next thing I knew they dropped it off. I got a cash machine in my living room.

So if you ever need some cash... You think I'm gonna believe that you went on an online auction and bought a fucking ATM for your living room? I don't know if I own it. I think I might just be renting it. But it's here. Okay, so let's just pretend like there isn't a fucking 20 years in jail fucking thing sitting in the middle of a living room here. All right, can you... One question.

If I wanted to find out how to get in, what is this thing called? If I want to be able to hack into it? Hack into what? Not telling you. It's safe. Not telling you. It's safe. We should have just used the fucking backhoe to smash it open.

I mean, no, by the... Okay. When you went to pick it up from the auction, Ricky? They had a backhoe there, and we should have just said, hey, bud, you know, I do want an ATM in my living room for cash reasons. But smash it. Just smash it open so we see what it looks like inside. That would have been a smart thing to do.

Anyway, let's get on with it. Should we start this park? What are we doing? It's park after dark. Dark is gone. Because last night in the dark, we were working. Oh, now my fingerprints are all over the tools. There's nobody's going to fucking...

What are you talking about? You're in on it now. The sooner we get the fucking thing open, the sooner the thing goes into the fucking herb. Did you ever think of drilling it? I have the drill. I've got a fucking hole in the back. The Arby's don't know how to fucking drill a fucking borehole. You know what's inside that thing?

One hell of a party. That's right. Lots of parties. I'm not showing you. I am... We're gonna take. We're going to dump it behind the mall. After we open it. I'm totally cool with that. We'll buy those Mazlac suits, put those on, wrap our faces with protection, then we'll open the dye pack and say, come on, hit me, motherfucker. Hit me.

He's going to do it. Well, where, Ricky? Where are you gonna open it? Cause your whole trailer will be covered in blue ink. Blue dye. I think it would look nice. It's a bit of a catch 23 because if we take it outside people might see it. Let's just do it in here. We might have to make a dexter kill room in here.

And then have at it. There you go. And we could use, if we need to kill anybody, then it's two for one. Exactly. Unbelievable. So do you wanna start this thing? Yeah, Ricky, welcome everybody, welcome.

Nothing to see here. Christmas tree in my living room today for the park after dark. Well, it's not a Christmas tree, it's a Halloween tree, I guess. It's kind of scary looking, huh? Yeah. What do you think, Buffs?

I think you guys are fucked, and I'm having trouble forgetting that that's sitting behind me. Nothing's what? You're afraid of this thing? Come on. Yes, I'm afraid of the thing. Afraid of going to jail. What do you got on your Yes, I'm afraid of the thing. Afraid of going to jail. What do you got on your paper, Ricky?

Yeah, come on. Come on, let's see you smile, Pops. Come on. Come on, here. Hit it. Just hit it. Give it a good hit. I feel fucking great, man. Me too.

I'm in a great mood. And you're fucking it up. I just feel like there's this crazy parody just on the horizon. So if I help you do this, what do I get? One third? This, number one. One third? Starfish don't have brains. I'm gonna write something nice to you a little bit later.

Starfish don't have brains, it says. Neither do some people. I got a new nickname for you, Ricky. What? Starfish. Isn't that what they, isn't that a nickname for your anus or something? That's the chocolate starfish.

Chocolate starfish, man. This is great, boss. So what would this guy go under? Forest, field, jungle, sky, or sea? Do you know where starfish live, Ricky? His name's Starfish, remember? There's a big hint in the name. Based on the suction cups around it, I would say it's a tree climber. What's his name, Ricky? Say his name two syllables. What is it? Suction?

No, his name. What is it? It's a... Starfish. Does that give you any kind of a hint where he's from? I get the star pair because it looks like a star carniv. And if you hold it way back there, look at that. Yeah, it definitely looks like a star, man. Yep. What about the other part? Fish doesn't make a lot of sense

because it's definitely not a fish. Does that look like a fish? No, it doesn't. It looks like a starfish, a type of fish. It's not actually a fish, technically. So then it goes in the sea see oh boys how high are you guys very um buffs speaking of which man okay i don't know i can't remember if you fucking pulled this off or or not

remember when we were kids and we were watching the terminator and buddy had that fucking chip card for the atm machines and he used to get money out of it yes you said you could do it are you still going on about this and trying what i'm just saying i just want to know do you have that fucking thing did it work i know you said you didn't want to do it because you didn't want to steal and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But do you have it? I've done a bit of that work, that type of work. All right, good. How good of a weekend do you want to have?

Yeah. Just an okay shitty weekend like most of them or a fucking... I want to have a calm weekend and there's a new cat treat that's out that I was hoping to get for my kitties. Oh, is it expensive? Because we have a lot of money. Well, that's why I haven't bought it, because it's premium treats, and they are not cheap.

That's fine. From the organic raw store. We'll get a lot of them, man. A hundred packs. A hundred packs of the new treats? Yeah. They're like nine bucks a pack. If you want to make it happen, we're there for you, buddy.

Okay, 100 packs of the new treats. 100 packs. All right. That's all you want? Ricky, what the... Oh, no. They're nine bucks each. It isn't, actually.

I want 100 packs of the new treats. I want... I want a new... There's a whole fucking whole set you can get at the pet store now. It's got, like, all kinds of things for the cat to play in. It's like a little world you build. How big is this thing? It's fairly big, but I...

How much? Well, it depends on if you get the deluxe model or not. What is the deluxe model? $299. No, you fucking kidding me? $299! Can't you build something like that? That's fine. That's nothing.

$299? Plus $900 bucks. That's fucking, what, $1,500 bucks? We can do that? It's not $1,500 bucks. That's fucking, what, 1,500 bucks? We can do that? It's not 1,500 bucks. How about this? Even 2,000. Fuck, you got bad. And maybe there's only 2,000 in it.

But, okay, there's what we're going to do, Julian. We're going to play a little gamble. Nope. All right, I'm in. I will open that. You get the first 2,000. I get the first 2,000. And then how much of every 1,000 after? None?

No, no, that's good That's good Then I get one third of every 1,000 after No, that's like, that's crazy That's fucking, that's fucking insane Well, I should get a third anyway Just for not going to the cops Right?

Because we're buddies Let's take it up a notch How about you get the first $3,000 and nothing after that? What are you fucking doing, man? It's like the price is right. It's exciting. No, no, no, no, no, no.

How about you get zero cat treats and we have a shitty weekend because nothing's going to happen. No, no. Me and Ricky have a thing going here. I get the first $3,000 and then one-third of the money that's left over. But if there's only $2,600 in there, it comes to me.

How about the first $4,000 and you only get half after that? What is... Deal, Ricky! What the fuck is wrong with your brain? Done. Deal. There's probably not going to be $4,000 in there. There could be $150,000 in there. There could be 150 grand in there.

No. Which I get 75 out of 30. Outside a fucking convenience store? I get half and then you guys split the other half. No, no, no. Okay, I'll get it. And then we'll make a deal. No, we just made a deal.

4,000. First 4,000 to me and then 50% of the remainder. You could easily live with that, knowing that you fucked us over that bad. Yes! Come on. I absolutely could because I'll use my money for good, not for evil. Somehow I feel like we're going to come out on top. We're not going to come out on top.

Let's get it going. Let's talk about something different other than the fact that Julian stole a bank machine. I'm happy. I stole it. I mean... So who stole it? Don't fucking steal it.

Oh, I stole it. You guys are fucked. Who stole it? Did he steal it? Nobody stole anything. Well, that means that the deal's binding. You know what? There was a renovation going on at a convenience store.

We merely went in and said, hey, can we store some of this stuff for you while you're fixing up your store? That means that the deal's binding. You know what? There was a renovation going on at a convenience store. We merely went in and said, hey, can we store some of this stuff for you while you're fixing up your store? So we borrowed the bank machine because he didn't know where to put it while he was fixing up his store. And in the meantime, you figure you just rip it apart. No, we're taking the money from it, Bubz. Okay?

Yeah, 50% is coming to me. No, not 50%. No, you're taking the money from it, bubs. Okay? Yeah, 50% is coming to me. No, not 50%. No, you're correct. After the first 4K. I'm rich. You know what? I'm rich. Have fun getting rid of it.

Oh, I'll get rid of it. You won't even know what happened to it, my friend. Yeah, right. That thing will be at the bottom of Chisholm Lake. You won't be able to sleep for fucking months. Guarantee you. Chisholm Lake. So go for it. Ch fucking shit. No. You won't be able to sleep for fucking months. Jism Lake. Guarantee you. Jism Lake.

So go for it. Jism Lake. There's not a place called Jism Lake, is there, Eddie? I wouldn't swim in it if there were. The two, yeah. Jism Lake. Jism Lake. Jism Lake, I said, not Jism Lake.

Where's Jism Lake? It's Lake, I said, not Jism Lake. Where's Jism Lake? It's right near his mom's house. Right down next to Squirter's Cove. Gosh, man. Get it? What do you got on your smart paper, Ricky? I don't even remember writing any of this shit. Julian, get away from my bank machine, please.

Looks pretty lame, though. It's your bank machine now, huh? Well, me and Ricky are splitting it. There's a place in Florida called Opa Loca. And they, 13 years ago, decided to ban saggy pants. They didn't like to see people's underwear. And they just lifted the ban finally, so there's a lot of happy people today.

So I wanna congratulate all the people that like to wear saggy pants. You can return to Opa Loca. Let those pants hang. Ricky, that's the most fucked up congratulations I've ever heard. Julian. What? Get your hands off my bank machine.

I'm taking it to my fucking trailer. No, you're not. Yes, I am. No, you're not. You're taking it where? Taking it to my fucking trailer. No. Why're not. Yes, I am. No, you're not. You're taking it where? Taking it to my fucking trailer. No. Why are you just picking it up under your arm?

It's still plugged in. Ride the fuck out of here. You're going to get electrocuted. Electro-cock sucker yourself. It's not going anywhere. For some reason, I just had a fucking vision of Julian, no shirt on, riding on a horse with the bank machine under his arm.

Why don't you shut the fuck up? What the fuck is wrong with you, man? You probably wouldn't even need a backloader with the bank machine under his arm. Julian. Hey. All right, we got to make a better deal here. I'm willing to go one-third, one-third, one-third. Yes.

Plus I get the first 4K. No, no. First 3K. No. You get fucking 100 packs of kitty treats. No. Okay, no deal. I'm taking it. Okay, here, I'll call the fucking police right now. Okay, go for it. 9-1-1.

Fucking go for it, man. No, no, no, no, no. 9-1-1. No, no, no, no. You call the number on the machine. No, go for it. Is the number on the machine? Yeah, I'm gonna call the number on the machine. Tell them I've seen their bank machine. I think it might be inside the door. And I'm just gonna, all I'm gonna to call the number on the machine. Tell them I've seen their bank machine. I think it might be inside the door. And I'm just going to, all I'm going to say is Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

Oh, so they'll have to guess. That's fine. And you said on camera that it's your machine. So fuck, go for it. Oh, yeah, we can just use that part. Go for it, bud. Let go of my bank machine, Julian. Oh, yeah, you're busted, buddy. Anything else?

Does anybody have anything? One-third in fucking 100 packs of those crazy fucking way-too-expensive fucking treats. And the cat world. Cat world, man. Cat world. Cat world, 100 packs of treats in one-third. Pound it. Done.

Let's get on with this. Does anybody have anything more exciting than the baggy pants band being lifted? Frankie. Why are you excited about that? I used to like baggy pants. And people look at you and I'm like, fuck off. So I'm glad that they lifted the band. I want to go to Germany.

I know how those people felt. Waking up one day and all of a sudden, fuck, I can't the ban. I want to go to Germany. I know how those people felt. Waking up one day and all of a sudden, fuck, I can't dress the way I want to dress. I want to go to Germany. Did I mention that? Why? Just saw a picture of it. Is it ever lovely? It is. It does look cool. Germany's nice, man.

Saw a picture of it. I want to go all over there. Lots of beer. A lot of stuff happened there in history. You think? Right. Holy fuck. I don't want to go there for that reason. I want to go there because the landscape.

This lake, it's out in like Austria, Bavaria or something. Jism Lake. And the women. The German women. Beautiful. Yes. German ladies are delightful. Ninety-ninety's here in Pligen, Egan, Flegan, Butz and Segan.

I used to know every word to that German version. We almost done? No! No? No, we're just getting going, aren't we? I don't know. We've got a lot of things to figure out here, man. Is it true that if the president handed you an autograph, is it worth $10,000?

Which president? DT. No, it's not worth $10,000. No, that's what he said. He handed an autograph to somebody. He's like, here, sell us an eBay tonight, $10,000. No, bet you That's what he said. He handed an autograph to somebody. He's like, here, sell us an eBay tonight. $10,000. No.

Bet you it's not going eBay. Lock it up. Are you serious? I think it might. So we should try to get one. Or forge one. On presidential paper. You're not going to forge Donald Trump's fucking signature and try to sell it, Ricky.

Although it would be easy to forge. It just goes like that. There we go. So you can do it? Well. Do you have any presidential paper? You could just print some off, Ricky, but nobody's going to believe that it's...

Why would you have his signature? He came to my house. The party. Did you get there? Oh, man, there's no fucking internet Oh my god, remember what happened to me at the dump that time? It happened again When the seagull grabbed your wiener?

No, no, that was a different situation What are you talking about? A snake bit my cock Oh yes, I do Over in Thailand, this teenager was sitting on a toilet And a fucking python leached right onto his penis. Fuck. That would suck.

This happens all the time. There's a lot of penis toilets lately. I mean, no. I've heard of that happening. There's a lot of snakes in toilets. But they don't usually grab your ass or your leg. This one fucking big python, four foot, latched right onto his cock.

Fuck, that would suck. I know what Julian's thinking. That it might feel good? I thought it too, but I don latch right onto his cock. Fuck, that would suck. I know what Julian's thinking. That it might feel good? I thought it too, but I don't know if it would. I wasn't thinking. No, man. No, that's what he's thinking. I'm thinking we've got to figure it out.

You know what he's thinking? What? Goddamn lucky Python. That's a good one. Real funny. All right. You've got no internet, Ricky. God damn lucky Python. That's a good one. Real funny. All right. You've got no internet, Ricky, so I'm not looking up a fucking... Oh, I wonder why.

Did you plug that into the fucking router? No, I unplugged the internet because I thought we might get caught. That was actually pretty smart because if you had plugged that... It wasn't even plugged in, though. If you plugged that into your router, this has a fucking chip that sends an emergency signal back to the people and says, Here I am! Okay, but what if you did that, but then unplugged it?

Oh, fuck. Ricky, did you plug it into the router with the router still hooked to the internet? Because if you did, the police are going to be here within the hour. We're going to have to move it into your shed. So let's wrap this up and get it in there quick. Yeah, we're partners. I had it in my place for a little bit. Came over here.

It's your turn. Yeah. You're not putting that in my shed. Yes, we are, partner. Where else do you want to put it then? I'll tell you where you can put it. Right up your arse. Drive it right block sideways, right up your fucking big muscular hoop. Right.

Alright. I guess his hoop would be muscular like the rest of them, wouldn't it? Yeah, of course. He used to take one of those weed or squeezers and put it in his arse. No, he didn't. Fuck, Bob's. Remember those? He used to walk around with those all the time. Hey, boys.

Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. If you strain when you're pooping, will it build up muscles or does it? I would think so. Also, pop blood vessels in your head. Didn't somebody die like that? Many people have died. Elvis died taking a shit.

Trying to squeeze out a log? Oh, I don't know what is exact. Or was he doing... Poor Elvis. Poor Elvis. He had a good life, just short. He had a great life, short. Could sing.

My fact, he could sing. Favourite Elvis tune? Love me tender. You don't got to sing it. Love me true. I'm a Julian. Cause your muscles are so big. Oh, man.

We need to smoke another one. You will always. What about to all the men I've loved before? That's not Elvis. That's not Elvis, is it? That was a good song. To all the men I've loved before. Who sings that?

Is that Willie? That's Willie Nelson. Okay, what does that mean? To all the girls I've loved before. Oh, yeah, it was girls. What did he sing? What did you sing, man? Oh, fuck.

To all the men I've loved before. That was when Willie got, you know. Oh, boys. Well, you're going to like this one because you like these kind of stories. I'm high. I'm fucking high. What did I eat now?

Don't know, man. I'm feeling the same way. How am I high? It's like a creepy kind of thing. Weed oil as a lubricant.? Don't know, man. I'm feeling the same way. How am I high? I did cover the bank machine. It's like a creepy kind of thing. Weed oil as a lubricant. I don't know if you... Covered what in it? Parts of the bank machine.

You used weed oil as lubricant. I didn't have any... So I've absorbed weed oil through my skin somehow. This cut I have on my finger. Is that even possible? I was licking my fingers too. Good going. Every time.

Thanks, Rick. Just coming near you gets people high. It's probably from last night. It's just a wave, man. Ride it. Surf it. No, I was fine for a couple hours. I had lots of energy, man.

I wanted to get this thing fucking out of here. Now I just don't want to. Now I can't get the image of him out of my head riding the horse the big white horse naked white horse even better or a palo pino what the fuck are they called the patchy patchy palomino yes is it palo grino no man san palo grino is the drink that i like the bubbly bubbly water san palogrino's the drink that I like. The bubbly, bubbly water. San Pellegrino with the tasty fizz water. Fizzy water. Named after a horse.

This cocksucker Thomas Alexander in Oregon was bow hunting elk. He shot a cocksucker and he couldn't find it before dark so he said, fuck it, I'm gonna leave you, bud. Next day, elk fucking saw him, charged him, and gored him to death. What? That's not true, is it? Yeah. Are you telling a real story?

Yeah. The elk killed the hunter, man. Oh, I thought you were talking about a movie. No, the hunter fucking shot him with an arrow, didn't kill him, left him. And the elk said, mm-mm, not on my watch. Well, the elk was fucking stewing all night. Yeah. Sitting there going, look at that fucking arrow in my ribs.

Yeah. Cock sucker. I bet going felt good. You fucking... Fuck. You'd be pissed off having an arrow in him felt good. You fucking... Fuck. He'd be pissed off having an arrow in you all night. So how did he know where he lived? I think the guy actually may have went to try to find him the next morning.

Then he could smell him. Oh, I thought he came to his house and gored him in his living room. That's a much better story. Can you imagine? No, I think unfortunately it wasn't... But he's there making breakfast and ding dong. He goes over to an open store and the fucking elf comes in and gives it to him. Well, that was a weird one.

Hopefully the cops aren't on the way here. We should move that quickly. Is that forest fire still burning with those dumb fucking idiots that had their gender reveal party? That was smart. Yes, it is still working why don't we get cory and jacob and some other people to fucking move it man the world is fucked right now oh he's home i thought that's sirens what listen okay'm... That's somebody backing up, man. That's a fucking siren! Well, it's too late to do anything now.

Just don't let them in the house, man. I'm going out the back door. I'm going out the back door. I don't want anything to do with it. Just put a blanket over it. I gotta go to bed. Here, I'll put this on it. I gotta go to bed. Here, I'll put this on it. I'm fucking taking a nap. Boys, there's a patrol car

going down the road! Just lock the door. Down the fucking blinds. Nobody's home. Fuck him.