Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 17 - Diamond Encrusted Cock

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

Julian's got Hash Dips, Hammer Hands, and Terminator CEOs on the brain, Ricky's suddenly not so keen on wrasslin' alligators anymore, and did Bubbles' cat drive a f**kin electric car? Also: how is Julian like Stephen Hawking?

Just saying, Ricky, if you're gonna fucking go through the effort to steal chips, why wouldn't you steal dip too? The simple answer is, Bob's so fucked up. I mean, you could have easily just... Because dip would be fucking delicious right now. These are plain. Get like all dressed or something, man. No, plain is fantastic. If you got the dip. Herb and spice or a little onion dip.

Fuck. Jesus. It's almost worth going back. You know what I just thought of? Fucking chip dips with hash in it. Powdered hash. Jesus, that's all we need. I need some right now.

Fucking right, Sower. You got any hash? We don't have any chip dip, I know that. Well, we could do it with butter. We can take some butter. No. Throw some garlic in it. Some paprika.

You're not gonna fucking... You're not gonna come close to... A good chip dip. But it's not about... Store-bought. I dip. But it's not about the chip. Store-bought. I know, but it's not about consuming it. It's about the buzz on it. It's all about the taste.

I still... I don't know, man. That song... What's the song about the diamonds? That's rough. Diamonds. Something down a diamond. Diamonds are a girl's best.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Rihanna. Yeah. Corey was saying that song was supposed to be originally cock made out of diamonds. What? Yeah, the cock made out of diamonds or something was supposed to be the chorus.

How does the song go, Pops? I don't even know what you're talking about. Something bright like a diamond. Yeah. That's you're talking about. Something bright like a diamond. Yeah. That's what it is. Have a cock like a diamond. That's what I guess originally, but the... Well, there's drill presses that are diamond tip, right?

Like fucking... Yes. Well, that might be good for someone's cock, I guess. I don't know why. I don't know if... Could you crust it with diamonds? A diamond crustcrusted cock. We adept at honey.

Probably wouldn't work the same, though, or function the same. How would you? I'm not going to talk about this, man. Why are you talking about cocks? I don't know, man. I thought we weren't supposed to bring up cocks today. You did. You did.

You did. A did. You did. A diamond encrusted clock. It was Corey's fault. Okay, it was Corey's fault then. What is Corey? What is he talking about? He was talking about the Rihanna song and said that the lyrics originally were different. But they had to dummy them down for radio.

So Rihanna was saying, I got a cock like a diamond. He's got a cock like a diamond. Oh, he's got a cock like a diamond. Oh, he's got a cock like a diamond. Corey, there's no way. That's right. Corey doesn't know what he's talking about. Although if Rihanna wanted one, she could get it. There's not much things in the world harder than a diamond.

Maybe that's what she was going for. Fucking Terminator was, wasn't he? No. He was hard? He was harder than a dime he had a he had a diamond encrusted terminator cock that's what i heard diamond tipped diamond tip speaking of which you know what boys i told you i told you this was gonna fucking happen we were way back we were watching terminator i was like that's the future. That's going to fucking happen. And it's happening.

Oh, I know. There's a company in fucking China that just appointed an AI-powered virtual robot as the CEO of the company. Oh, no. And this is not like a fucking convenience store. We're talking a $10 billion company. That's scary. Well, Volkswagen, they had a goddamn robot that killed somebody. What?

Yeah. See, boys? It's going to happen. We're fucked. Yeah. You know who predicted it? Stephen Hawking. Smartest man that ever lived. I think I predicted it beforehand.

Did he predict it, like, back in Terminator Day or what? Yes. He's been saying, yes, Stephen Hawking. And he knows what he's talking about. You're just predicting it because you're fucking seeing it in the movies. I'm good. He's on the same wavelength as me, actually. Oh, yeah, you and Stephen Hawking are very similar.

His brother Ronnie was pretty good, too. Good entertainer. Stephen Hawking and Ronnie Hawkins weren't brothers, Ricky. Cousins? No, two different spellings. Sons from a different mother? Stephen Hawking and Ronnie Hawkins. Are you sure there's an S on the Hawkins?

Hawkins without a G. Ronnie Hawkins, the Hawk. Is that his nickname? The Hawk. Hawk. Ronnie Hawkins, the Hawk. All right. Not to be confused with Ronnie Doug and the Hawk. All right.

Not to be confused with Ronnie Doug and the Hawk. So the Hawk down at the fucking Legion, he stole that from Ronnie Hawk, obviously. No, he's the Hawk. No, he's the Hawk. Big weapon. Big Hawk. Big Hawk. Big Hawk. Not Big Hawk.

I thought it was Big Cock. No. Here we go with the Cocks again. Yeah. This is Cock Fridays here on this web. So researchers recently in Poland, they found this body of a woman from like the 1600s, and she had a fucking sickle around her neck. Oh, what?

Holding her fucking neck to the ground. A sickle. I don't really know what that is. A sickle, yes. That's like a big curved thing for cutting wheat and stuff, but it's like a big, dirty... They had that around her neck, and she had a padlock on one of her toes. Who did?

This woman from 1600. So they think the people... She had a tooth tattoo. Tooth. And kind of jutted out a little bit. So they think the people maybe thought she was a vampire and fucking killed her, and then they wrapped this shit around her so she couldn't come back from the dead.

Jesus, Murphy, people were fucked back then. A lot of weird beliefs. They thought she was a fucking vampire. That's what they thought. Just because she had a fucked up tooth. Yeah. Or maybe she was doing something and the tooth pissed somebody off. Maybe she was biting people's rabbits or something.

Ah, I was thinking of something else. But fuck, look. What were you thinking? I'm just saying, maybe she was, I don't know, maybe dating somebody. And things got a little bit hot and heavy. And the tooth came out. Bit his neck? Or something else.

Did they do that shit back then? What? Beechers? I'll try to. Yeah, beechers. Did they do that shit back then? What? Beedgers? I'll try to... Yeah, beedgers. I was going to say... What's the right word? Beegees.

The beedgers. Blowies. Oh, it's like Josh. Humdingers. Humdingers, so I wonder. Back in the 1600s, of course they did. Maybe there's lots of laceration and shit involved on certain body parts. I don't think that's why they would put a sickle on her.

Back then they might never know, man. No, it would have been some supernatural belief that her tooth had magic powers or vampire tooth. I'm a little confused about the padlock on the toe. On the toe? Yeah. If she had a padlock on her toe... Does that mean she couldn't run away? Good idea.

It depends on what it was hooked to. Maybe the padlock used to have a biodegradable chain on it. Ah. Right? It would be hard to fucking run with a flat. If you're, like, killing someone, you're like, okay, make sure you put a sickle around her neck and a fucking lock on her toe so she doesn't come back to eat us.

You know what? That's a good idea. What? For people that escape from prison, put a fucking lock on her toes. She doesn't come back to eat us. You know what? That's a good idea. What? For people that escape from prison, put a fucking lock on their toes. What's that gonna do? You know, if they try to escape again, they're not getting too far very fast, bubs.

Try running. We should do that test. Put a lock on your toe and get you to run around the block. You'd need special shoes, wouldn't you? I'm talking bare feet. Lock shoes. Yeah. You'd need open-toed sandals. Hmm. We should do that to Randy someday, see what happens.

I'll do that to Randy right now. I'll fucking do it. Remember the time you put the padlock on his wiener? No. Or around his sack and wiener? Oh, yeah. I had that permanent ring in it for a couple weeks. Yeah.

Put a padlock around his wiener and sack. The lock was a little too small. Didn't you start talking dirty to him and stuff? No. Somebody did. And then that would have sucked. The padlock around his wiener and sack. Too small.

Well, man. I'm glad we had the pep talk before we started this scene. Let's not talk about cocks today. Yeah. It sort of backfired. You know what we got to talk about? Dumpling-flavored fucking soda they got coming out. What?

Yeah, man. What kind of a dumpling? It's a dumpling. A dumpling's what? Like a gyoza? What the fuck's that? A gyoza is a dumpling? It's a dumpling. A dumpling's what? Like a gyoza? What the fuck's that? A gyoza is a dumpling. Okay, well, they got fucking sodas to taste the dumpling.

Like a dessert dumpling? Or meat dumpling? Veggie dumpling? I don't fucking know anything about dumplings. What's a dumpling? Chicken? There's lots of different kinds. There's many, many different types of dumplings.

I don't eat them. What makes it a dumpling is it's a little little flat pastry folded over and pinched off to make a dumpling. You can get like apple dumplings. I mean, it might be a good flavor. It might be fucking horrible.

I wonder what the definition of a dumpling is. You can't just say dumpling flavored fucking soda. That's stupid. Alright. On the bottle, it looks like fucking pieces of chicken. So, chicken dumplings. Chicken dumplings. Chicken guy, he owes a flavored fucking soda. That would be terrible.

Sounds awful. No, it's just awful. It's not doing well. Oh, wow, I'm shocked. I think they're just hoping people will buy it just for shits and giggles and say, all right, we tried it. No, I'm drinking a dumpling. I tried it.

Tastes like fucking chicken dumpling. I like my dumplings pan-fried or steamed. Yeah. Who said that? I just did. Oh. And what's the other type, you know, the special type of Japanese, oh, dim sum? Those are dumplings, aren't they?

You want me to dim and sum? No, Ricky. It's fine. Stop, right? No, no. What does dim sum mean? Dim sum is a type of, I believe, Japanese dumpling. It's delicious.

They pour, you know, different types of... I've had all kinds of dim sums. Can't say I give a shit, Bubz. Can't say I care. Can't say that I care about anything about Dublin's right now. Holy fuck, man. This guy, this guy, there's a guy named Hammerhand. Did you hear about this guy?

Guinness book fucking guy? Is he the guy that fests people? He puts nails into boards with his hand? Did you hear about this guy? Guinness book fucking guy? Is he the guy that fests people? Puts nails into boards with his hand? He can fucking, he can chop a bat in half, 66 of them in one minute. Like a baseball bat? Baseball bat. What? 60-60.

He's got two hands going. And the guy looks like a fucking, he's old. He can't karate chop a bat. He can't. So not only that, Bubs, he can take out two coconuts at the same time. He's got the world record for that as well. He can what? Coconuts.

What the fuck is going on with this? Oh, yeah. He's a fucking machine, this guy. Somebody's turned on by him. I guess. No, I mean, I'm not turned on, Bubs. I'm just saying this is pretty fucking amazing. Any kind of brute human strength.

What the fuck is this fucker? Bro, bats. Boom, boom, boom. Those aren't real bats. Those are real bats. Louisville sluggers. Louisville sluggers, man. I mean, this guy looks like a fucking guy.

I don't know. Where would this guy work? What does he look like? I got into something here. I don't know what he looks like. He looks like a Ukrainian superhero. No, man. Well, he's got the blue and yellow on.

No, but he looks like he should be working in a something, a parts department at some fucking lawnmower store or something. But the guy can take, he can do some damage. Where's that list of things that Tim joined on? I'm going to add him to the list. Yeah, add that to the top. That's funny. I mean, you have a top, Dixon. That's funny, though. I mean, you have a big list somewhere.

All right, yeah, okay, the coconuts. I gotta tell you how many he can... What does he do with coconuts? Drinks them? He whacks them, man. And fucking destroys them. He can chop a coconut. There we go.

What the fuck? Okay, beer cans, that's easy. Okay, look, that's his hand. Bye bye, coconuts. What the fuck? I gotta know what you searched to find this lovely man. I don't know, man. He's 59, his name is Muhammad Kamaraqal.

I don't know. But he's a fuck... Look at this guy. This guy was coming at you. This guy. And he told you, hey, give me your wallet. You'd say, fuck you, asshole. Strongest, healthiest men in the world? Was that in the search engine?

Perfect physical specimen? No, he's not. He's a bit of a weird dude. But his strength overpowers that, right? No, he's got the fucking hammer hands, man. Jesus, Julian wants those hammer hands all over his big meat. Oh, Sam. You would love to feel the hammer hands massaging muscle oil into you.

This would fucking suck. This Florida man, he got lost in the woods for three days. He finally finds this lake. He's like, oh, fuck, there we go. Rather than walk around the lake, he decides he's going to swim across the lake. Oh, Jesus. Probably not the smartest idea. In Florida?

Yeah. Oh, man. So he's swimming. All of a sudden he notices this gator swimming beside him. So he goes to swim and goes to make the little breast stroke, whatever it's called. And the fucking gator snaps his arm. Paws him underwater three times.

He's fighting for his fucking life. Finally, the gator rips his arm right off. Why? But he managed to get away from the fucking thing, got back on land, and then he had to find his way through the swamp after a few days. He finally found this guy.

He's like, man, I need help. Gator ripped my arm off. But how the fuck did he survive? Jesus. It's amazing he didn't bleed out. He must have figured out a way to tie it off with some rhubarb or something. Yeah, he probably started a fire.

He was pretty big when the fucking muscles and shit were hanging out. It would suck, man. off with some rhubarb or something. Yeah, he probably started a fire, he did something up and went. Fucking muscles and shit were hanging out. It would suck, man. But he's like, you know, it probably wasn't the smartest decision to swim across the lake. You think? No. You fucking think? I wouldn't get in any lake in Florida without, you know, you can't do that.

There's obviously gators. Especially if you're lost, you don't even know. There's obviously gators. Especially if you're lost. You don't even know what the lake is or what it's all about. No, it could have been Gator Lake. What do they call it? The death spin they do? That's what he said the fucking thing did after he finally got away with it. Death roll.

Death roll. You do that, it's off. Any fucking... That's what he did. He can twist. That's when he took the arm off. Yeah. Yes, they can twist your arm off like a fucking...

Like nothing. So, if that happens, you've got to fucking hug the motherfucker or something. Bear hug. If he's got your arm in his mouth, you're done. It's coming off. So you might as well just take a deep breath and say, okay, do it. I always wanted to fight a gator, but now I'm not sure anymore. No, Ricky, you're too old to fight them now. You could have fought one.

You've got to go for the eyeballs, don't you? I don't know. I don't think they fucking feel free. I think they've got steel armor, like eyelids. They close their eyes and you can't even... Really? Yeah, they've got that big craggly skin, right? Big, thick, craggly skin.

You can't poke through that. So did your mama. My mama had beautiful, blemish-free, perfect skin, like porcelain. I wasn't talking about maybe the face. Bubs? What were you talking about? Bottomless pit? Yeah, couldn't poke through anything. Oh, you guys.

You guys never saw my mother's bits. Oh, yes I did, bud. By mistake. And it was not a good sight. There's no way. She looked like Jabba the Hutt and had a fucking Finnish fucking spa.

Just sitting there. I don't believe that. This is kind of fucked. Switzerland's like a good country, aren't they? Fuck yeah, man. Aren't they neutral or something? They don't give a fuck. They just say everybody stay the fuck away. They just make chocolates and watches and say fuck it.

And knives. Pocket knives. Well, this is fucked. They're actually considering putting anyone who heats their rooms above 19 degrees Celsius in jail for up to three years. They'll do it too, man. Anybody who heats their rooms above 19 degrees Celsius in jail for up to three years. They'll do it too, man. Anybody who heats their rooms? Yeah. So they like it chilly.

I could live in Switzerland. I don't need anything to ever be above 19 degrees. Yeah, me too. I like to sleep cold. I like to be like... I like to be like a little popsicle in a blanket. As long as I got a blanket and 20 or 30 kitties. But they said they might be forced to ration gas because of the fucking goddamn war.

Fuck sakes. Oh, yeah. They're going to stop making gas-powered motors. Well, Russia's cutting everybody off, saying no more anything. No gas, no coal, no fucking fuels of any type. And there's a bunch of cars, like, 2023, that's it. They're done. Like the Challengers, the Chargers, the fucking GTRs, man. I think it's going to change, man.

They're going to make up this clean fuel shit. Yeah. I don'ts, man. I think it's going to change, man. They're going to make up this clean fuel shit. Yeah. I don't know, man. There's nothing like a fucking... They shouldn't over an engine, right? I don't know. The sound, just experience. This electric shit, I mean, I guess it's good, but I don't know.

I find, you know what? My kitties can drive better in an electric car than they can when they don't have to do the gears. Buzz, what the fuck are you talking about? Don't even get into this. What? Your cats can drive a stick shift. No, they can, but they have trouble. They're much better with the electric, where you just push the gas and they can steer.

When the fuck did you have a cat driving an electric car? Two days ago. Where? Whose? I went over to AllEV and took an electric car for a test drive. I've got video of it. You've got video of it? You want to see my kitty driving a car?

Yeah, I do. All right. So fucking full of shit. Just wait now. Hang on. I thought your cat's... You talk amongst yourselves. I thought your cat's... You talk amongst yourselves. I thought your cat stole my car one time.

Went for a little drive to the store. Yes. He was lying to you. No, he didn't. A cat can't drive a fucking car. No, it was a few of them. It was one guy with a wheel. Another guy shifting.

No, man. Another guy working gas and brakes. That's true, Ricky. He was fucking lying. He took it. Oh. No, it wasn't me. Yeah, you just didn't want to pay him gas money.

Cats can't fucking team up and drive a fucking car. Okay, hang on now. You guys are fucked if you think that. Just wait. You want to see it, okay. All right, I want to see the cat turn it over, fucking change gears, put the clutch on. Okay, coming up. Whatever.

Oh, you're not going to find it. No, I am going to find it. Where is he? Is this him? No. Coming up. Whatever. Oh, you're not going to find it. No, I am going to find it. Where is he? Is this him? No. No, that's not him driving. Here we go.

Where is he? You got so many fucking kiddie videos that you can't find them? I'm going to find it. Oh, shit. Talk amongst yourselves. Cat. I just got gotta search my search my thing here.

Pubs are so full of shit, man. This is fucked up, too. What the fuck is uh I forget what it's called now. Oh, Listeria. You ever heard about this shit? The who? Listeria. Yeah. I just said Listeria. Yeah, that's a Def Lepp The who? Listeria. Yes, it is Listeria. Yeah, that's a Def Leppard record.

Listeria! No, it's not Listeria. Who? It's a food-borne bacteria illness. But anyway, this cocksucker, well, not a cocksucker, pastor in North Carolina declared dead twice. He went into coma after he got this Listeria shit. So they're going to harvest his organs. They're about to fucking cut him open,

and he moved his toe. Oh, Jesus. Well, first they told his wife he was dead. Then they said, well, we're not sure if he's dead. And then three days later, they're like, yeah, no, no, he's brain dead. He's dead. We're going to fucking harvest his organs.

So she went in to say her final goodbyes, showed him some videos of the family, and he moved his toe. It's fucking tough. So then she's like, okay, I want you to fucking do some tests, see if he is dead. And then they did some tests, and like, you know what? There is some blood flowing through his brain.

He's not really dead. He's not fucking dead. That's like Monty Python, bring out your dead. Bring out your dead. And the guy's saying, I'm not dead. I want a fucking rollercoaster ride from hell for the wife. Well, I guess it's a pretty bad one for him, too. Oh, yeah. I mean, he can laugh about it.

He can eat something, get this listeria shit, and fucking die? Appear to be dead? It's like a zombie. That's scary, man. All right, so is this motherfucker up and around? No, not yet. They don't think he'll ever recover fully. At least he's alive. That was just a big waste of taxpayers' dollars, really. Think about it.

Good story, though. Well, that's nice to say. Why? I mean, you know, bubs. The final thing I have, which is kind of a fucking pretty gross one, is in Bolton, Vermont. We've talked about people shitting in public before, but this takes things to a whole new level. Oh, great.

There's a poop dumper. A what? They keep leaving big black garbage bags full of shit and toilet paper right in the middle of the woods on this hiking trail. So far, they've collected 400 pounds worth of shit. 400 pounds. That's pounds worth of shit. 400 pounds! That's a lot of shit. So how much is each dump? How much that weigh, do you think? I don't know.

A big bag of shit would be 50 pounds, wouldn't it? A full-size garbage bag? Over 400 pounds. So that would be eight maybe? Eight to... But I would say 10 to 20 giant garbage bags of shit. How big is the average shit, though? Can't be much more than a pound.

No, but I'm saying if you filled a fucking big garbage bag with shit or wet toilet paper, that's got some weight to it. But why are you shitting in a bag anyway? Well, there's no proof of shitting in the bag. He could be shoveling it into the bag out of his sewer. He could be a shit collector. He could be going down to the fucking sewer pipe by the brock and shoveling the shit into the bag. You know what we got to do?

There must be something wrong with the person, though, no? Yes, Ricky, there's something wrong with them. They're fascinated by bags of shit. I wouldn't collect my shit. You know what we should do, boys? We should come up with a show, like something like 60 Minutes, but maybe call it like 15 Minutes,

and interview motherfuckers like that, the three of us. We gotta catch them first. Well, you catch them, say, so, like 20 full bags of shit. Are you kidding me? Why? We wanna know why. Well, the original person who found the first bags of shit. Are you kidding me? Why? We want to know why. Well, the original person that found the first bag of shit just thought it was somebody's garbage,

so they were going to recycle it so they open it up to make sure. Can you imagine that fucking... Jeez, what a fucking age to shit. Why can't I find the video of my kiddie driving? Because it doesn't fucking exist. It does exist. Unless you just got into CGI and shit and stuff, then yeah, you could do it.

No. I think you're full of shit. You was driving my car. No offense, bud. Love you, but I think you're full of fucking shit. I think you're full of 20 bags of shit. Fall and winter are coming, boys. It's going to be fucking fall next week.

No kidding, man. That sucks bags. That sucks bags. Bags of shit. Yeah. Ooh. Mallard's cocks. Yes, wait.

A what? Mallard's cocks. You know what? Guess what time it is. Edibles? Edible hitting time. Oh, I thought you meant to take more. No, I...

Well, Rick. No. All right. See who got burnt on this fucking fine day. I can't wait, man. You know what? I don't give a fuck about birthdays. Mickey Rourke, you bet you can't remember him.

Nine and a half weeks was a good movie. I remember I was saying happy birthday to him before. See, that's the thing. David Copperfield, he was fucking good. Richard Marx, he used to play the shit out of him. You know what? You know what? This is deja vu. I don't know if it's

edibles or not. We had this exact conversation in podcast. Probably a year ago. Probably podcast number fucking 10 or something oceans apart day after day i guess that's what we gotta do i guess he's a funny you know what from now on if you're fucking telling us birthdates you gotta you gotta like try to sing a song if it's a singer telling us birthdates, you've got to try to sing a song.

If it's a singer... Pull it up, man. There's one kiddie driving that I found. Oh, fuck off, Bob. You can get those things with remote controls. He's still driving it. Show the camera. You can get a remote control for these things.

He's not driving. He's sitting in it. Well, there is a better... There is a better one. There is a better one. There's no video of you. Bob's, you give me that? You say your cat can drive stick shift, and you give me that? No, I have one. He was electric car, and he was holding on to the wheel, and he was turning.

And he pulled in the clutch and fucking yanked her up into third. No, it's electric, I just said. I was pressing the gas. I remember mentioning a stick shift, and you're like, yes. Yeah, I don't have video of him. He could drive a stick shift. You had one cat pressing in the clutch,

one on the gas, one shifting. No, the same cat could do the brake, clutch, and gas. That's impressive. He knew them. A smart fucking old fuck. Who was it? Steve French? Maybe he could reach the fucking pedals.

And I know that motherfucker isn't driving. No, there was two. He's full of shit, buddy. No, not full of shit. Where am I? What's going on here? Oh, I'm in fucking... What was that other song?

Hazard. You used to love that one, too. What? Who? Wasn't sick of you used to love that one, too. What? Who? What in the check are you talking about? Richard Marles. You were singing one of them. Yeah.

How'd that go? I forget. Wherever you do, wherever you go, I'll be ready or waiting for you. Okay. He had another song, didn't he, Bubz? Hazard was a good one. How'd that go uh it was about the railroad tracks let's sing a little bit there ricky that's the deal bud having trouble remembering words hum it we used to walk down by the river the railroad or something

ah that's more of an obscure one, I guess. Yeah. You know what? I thought I recognized it, though. Maybe not. Where is that? It's also Mark Anthony and Nick Jonas' birthday, so we can sing some of their songs,

but I don't really know any. Mark Anthony. Here it is. This is me. Jesus fucking Christ. This is fucking Lawrence of Arabia, his name is. He drove all around the neighborhood. I told you.

He was driving the car, steering it around. Let me see. And look how alert he is. Oh, my God, boss. Look how alert and observant he is. Oh, yeah, he's a good driver. He's a very good driver. Look at him go, Ricky.

Oh, man, he knows what he's fucking doing. He was checking for cross traffic. He would pull up the lights. Look at him. He's on somebody's fucking lap. No. I just saw a hand come up like that. No, that was not my hand.

You better work on your editing. That was not my hand. It was a fucking hand that came up. No, he's looking. Somebody yelled to him there, he was like looking back. So there, proven wrong. Julian. Wrong.

Whatever. Lawrence of Arabia his name is and he can drive an electric car. You're so full of shit, Bob. I might go take my kiddies back down to the electric car shop and see who else wants to take one for a spin. All right, videotape it, but I want to see a cat paw on the fucking pedal. All right. Fair enough. All right.

Well, now that we're all fucked up... Yes? Yeah. Fucking be on a desert island, what's one thing you'd have to take with you? I don't know, what is it? I don't know. Is that just a... Maybe a weapon?

A weapon? That's a given, right? Why would you want a weapon if you're on a deserted island? Kill food. A jackknife. A knife would be a nice thing to have. Oh, so it's not deserted, it's just no humans. I don't... yeah, maybe. Is there still jackalopes on there?

There could be some wild boars. Okay, then maybe you would want a machete. Rambo survival knife. Fleshlight. A fleshlight? That, I mean, if you're stranded, that would be a nice thing to have. No, no, no, man, if you want like a Rambo survival knife, then you could make... Or a machete.

You could, yeah, you could make a fleshlight in the wilderness easily. Out of what? Fucking leaves, palm trees. Leaves? I don't know. Fucking... You're going to bang a handful of leaves? Duck feathers?

I don't fucking know. Soldiers make a field pussy, don't they? Yeah, but they've got a towel, a rubber glove, an elastic, and lube. Oh, so you know how to do it. Skin a rabbit and you wrap that around and give her your happy on a dessert of island buns. Let me tell you, soft little rabbit hair. Bang in a rabbit pelt. Yeah, survival, man.

It's good for the mental health. All right, let's go have a fucking party. So have a drink. Let's do it. And more edibles. See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.