Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 179 - Head Transplants and Unstructured Sensations

Episode Date: January 21, 2019

Julian doesn’t want to talk about a certain 'maneuver' this week... what could that be? Ricky also ponders leg extensions and head transplants! Also: The Boys discuss being Tom Cruise, Bubs finds another way to get f'ed up using the Ganzfeld procedure, and who would lick a doorbell for three hours? Episode 179 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 lager and Green Bastard IPA!  

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Rock Lobster Vodka. I guess I'll drink that. The Nova Scotia Spirit Company. Rock Lobster Vodka. Does it taste like lobster, man? No, it's not lobster-flavored, I don't think. If you wouldn't mind that, I would think about a lobster, man.

I fucking hate lobsters. Oh, it's got a little bit of a lobster tinge to it. Oh, it's, ugh. One dead lobster in every bottle. Yeah, you should read up on that, man, before you drink shit. You don't want to be drinking a lobster. No, it doesn't taste like lobsters. It's just nice vodka.

It's nice and smooth. You know, I forget what a lobster tastes like. I tried one back when I was, like, eight. Well, let's get some for the next podcast. I know I don't like it. You want to have lobsters? Let's do it. Next podcast?

All right. It's going to be fucking messy. Oh, boys. The smell, man. Just the smell. I know I don't like it. You want to have lobsters? Let's do it. Next podcast? All right. It's going to be fucking messy. Oh, boys. The smell, man. Just the smell. I fucking hate the smell of lobsters. Let's make Julian puke. You'll make me puke.

Yes. That would be funny. That would be awesome. All right. We're underway. Here we go. All right. Are we going to get this going or what?

Are we doing it? Yes. All right. Who's up? Want me to start this off? Well, I don't really have... I don't have a beard. You said you were going to do the sound effect.

Nice one. What's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast coming at you right now. This is podcast number 181. Oh my god, you actually know? It is January 18th. Wait, now, what are you talking about? 181, it's fucking 179.

So you still fucked it up, even though it was written down. All right, I thought it was 181. How do you figure that out? Does it really matter what I fucking say? It does for the people playing the game at home, following along. They're like, what the fuck is he talking about? And they can just look down and see that it's, okay, this is podcast 181. They can read it.

I know, but it isn't. It's 179, so then they think, fuck, I missed 180. Yeah. All right, I fucked up. It's 179 and 180. Oh, fuck. All right, sorry, it's 179. Yes. Okay.

I'm glad we got that settled. What are you, Ricky? You're still coloring the same picture. I am. The same fucking. I'm trying to fucking finish it.'re still coloring the same picture. I am. The same fucking... I'm trying to fucking finish it. Inverted sock and fuck picture. Oh, speaking of this picture.

What? Right here. Mm-hmm. This was... We were talking about this last week. Mm-hmm. And I reviewed the footage when we were done. And I'd like to just play it here and watch this.

He doesn't need traction. He needs traction. He should have boots on. Why doesn't she have a fucking tie? You try hanging off somebody's fucking head like that. Okay, so what the fuck did you mean by that? What did he say? I kind of fucked up, but...

He said you try hanging off somebody for that one. Listen, Bob. So that means you were this person, the hanging person, right here. Who in the fuck was left in you? You know what? There is women out there that could easily fucking pick me up, okay? And they're hot. In a second, I would still do that maneuver.

No, but you said try it as if you've already done it. Well, maybe I have done it, okay? I just don't want to talk about it. And what was the lucky fella's name? It was a chick, and she's married now. She has kids. She doesn't fucking need to be talked about, okay? And she picked you up.

You were inverted. She was huge, man. She was big, like, muscular and in shape. I heard rumors about you in the shower at jail. No, don't get into that shit. So she's got you inverted like this. Mm-hmm.

What's going on in this area? Bob's. I don't know because I'm... What was going on down below? You know what was going on down below. Okay. What were you wearing? Nude with your boots on?

Bob's. Maybe. I can't remember, man. I was drunk. Did you say it was nude? With the boots on? I was getting shit going. Sorry.

Maybe you should try doing it sometime, man. Then you can sit here and fucking give me a hard time. Nude with your Harley boots on. You're just jealous because that will probably never happen to you. I'm just fine and dandy not being upside down hanging off a fella.

No, it's not a fella. It's a chick. All right, so we cleared that up. How can I stretch my legs? What? You just lean over and stretch them like... How can I stretch my legs? What? What? Yeah. You just lean over and stretch them like... Because people are getting famous with longer shit. Like long neck.

What? There's some rapper called... I forget what he's called. Something long neck. Daddy Long Neck. Yeah, I want to be Daddy Long Legs. Oh, so you mean stretch them. You don't mean like get limbered up like before you play hockey, do stretches mean stretch them. You don't mean, like, get limbered up,

like, before you play hockey, do stretches. No, make them super fucking long. You mean permanently stretch them. Yeah, I'd like to add a foot if I could. You don't want brick? No, man. You want to elongate your legs by a foot. You can get it done.

They can go in and fucking arc a piece. Well, how do they do that? They can't extend your legs by a foot. They can't. I thought they could do that now, man. Chop the fucking... Chop it off the shin, right? Who the fuck did you ever hear about getting...

Put a piece of bone in there, fucking... Chin extensions. Don't know, man. It was probably a movie I watched. And a foot. I mean, you're adding that much shinbone to yourself. So from your knee to your foot, your knee to your foot's going to be like that. You'd look fucked up, but I'm just saying.

Yeah, but you'd be famous and rich. Maybe you could talk to somebody. You'd be famous and rich as fuck. Ricky, they could probably do it. Daddy Long Neck. You could probably do it digitally. Digitally stretch your legs. But then how do you do a concert?

Stilts. Stilts. Prosthetics. I would not want to see him on stilts, man. Yeah, why don't you just stand on stilts and get long pants? That's much easier than getting a surgery. You got to show them naked or people won't buy it. Get the operation, man.

How much would it cost, do you think? To get your legs extended by a foot? Yeah, must be countries that specialize in that. So, okay, they insert new bone in between your... What the fuck do they wrap around it? Prosciutto? Skin. Skin, but you gotta have meat in there.

What do they fill it with? What's the filler? They find somebody that just got fucking whacked or something, right? They're like, okay, this is a match. So they just saw a foot out of his shin and just insert it. Saw it and just boom. Some screws. Fucking some stitches.

So at some point, your legs have been amputated for this, to get this operation. At some point, they're cut clean amputated for this, to get this operation. At some point, they're cut clean through. They're fucking cut right in two, man. And do they make them work again, or do you have no fuel in your feet? I don't know, man. Like I said, this is probably a movie that I watched when I was fucked up. Because it would be hard to attach the nerves, I would think.

Even the veins, getting the blood going. Yes, Ricky, it would be next to impossible. There's somebody out there doing it, man. Well, if they can transplant a head, they can probably transplant legs. They can't transplant a head. Yeah, it's been done. A head transplant. I'm pretty sure it happened in France or somewhere.

A head transplant. See, now that's fucked. No, there's never been a head transplant. It took a long time, but it was pretty successful from what I read. Pretty successful? Yeah. What's that mean? What's the downfall of having a head transplant?

Rick, I'm going to look this up for you, okay? I got a head transplant. It came out about 95%. Yeah, not everything took, I guess. Head transplant? Oh, in Russia. There's no, there's never been a head transplant. World's first head transplant recipient wants a better life.

Fake news. Fake news. Fake news. Dr. Frankenstein, neurosurgeon. Wow, there you go. World's first. They're calling him Frankenstein because he wants to do this. Head transplant. What are they?

Okay, 2017, man. We're going back. It's not a head. There's no way. Question mark? I think it was only on a fish or something, but it just shows it can be done. Between November 16th and 17th,

a group of scientists from Herbin Medical University in China got together. And they fucking did. Spoiler alert. They don't transplant a head. Okay. You don't need to don't transplant a head. Okay. You don't need to watch it. I'm telling you.

Wow. They didn't. No? No, it's a YouTube video. Would be cool. Look, he's just got old tongs that he bought. It lasted 18 hours. He's got an old set of tongs he bought a Canadian tire.

Picking the stem off. Yeah, the whole spinal cord and all that shit, man. If you could do it, it could change your life drastically. Oh, absolutely. Imagine kidnapping Tom Cruise, taking his head, putting it on you, and then you're Tom Cruise. Why would you want to be Tom Cruise, man? He's cool.

Kidnap him, steal his head, put it on you, and then you're Tom Cruise. Yep. But don't you have his brain? I don't know how it works. So you're not Ricky anymore. Is that how it works? No more Ricky?

Tom Cruise, man. Well, do they put your brain in Tom Cruise's head? Because your head's a lot bigger than Tom Cruise's. I don't think your brain would fit. But you know what? In Ricky's case, they could probably shave a bit off, and it wouldn't affect him. Or they'd put the head on Tom Cruise's body,

and they'd be Ricky. He looks like Tom Cruise, you know. Ricky, except he's four feet tall and ripped. He's four feet tall, yeah. That's fucked up. All right. I need to take a break from coloring for a bit. Good.

Yeah, man. My brain's just like, Good, pay attention. Talk about some shit. My brain's like, Bud, enough of the thinking, all right? We're done for a bit. You gotta think to color?

Fuck yeah. You gotta choose the colors and where to put them. Yeah, but once you choose it, I mean, then it's just mindless. You gotta, like, what's next? What's next? And then you gotta think. And then you go, hmm, maybe there.

What is he saying? And then once you figure that out, it's like, okay, now you've got all these colors to pick from. Hmm, what's gonna look nice there? If it was me, I'd probably want this color there. Then you gotta pick the color. There's nothing going on about it. Then you gotta decide which end you wanna use. Are you talking to yourself, Ricky?

No, he's explaining something to me. The fat end or the skinny end, right? That's a lot of thinking, Ricky. I know, so I'm taking a break. So when you take a break, then what does your brain activity level go to? Just cruise control. Just white noise? Yeah. Oh, I forgot to? Just cruise control. Just white noise.

Yeah. Oh, I forgot to tell you this one. Don't hurt me. Listen to this. I looked it up too, and it's real. It's called like the Gandalf experiment, or Gendorf, or what, Gandorf? From Harry Potter?

No, it's a real thing. Check this out though. What? If you take a ping pong ball. Yes, all right. And eat it? No, you cut a real thing. Check this out, though. What? If you take a ping pong ball. Yes, all right. And eat it? No, you cut it in half. Okay.

You put it over your eyeballs. Yes. Laying down. You put headphones on. Playing white noise, just static, like TV static. Okay. Ping pong balls over your eyes with a red light. Yep.

You trip out just like you're on acid or mushrooms. Let's do it. You gotta know you don't. We're doing it. It's a true thing. Who fucking did that? A whole bunch of people. Why do you trip out?

Here, you Google it. Google ping pong ball on eyes. Ping pong ball. Jesus. Ping pong ball. Jesus. White noise hallucination. Stick that in. I can't buy into that. Ricky, and there's a video of a guy, and he's fucking tripping out.

He's seeing fucking. He's full of shit. No. If you want to feel like you're on acid, here's an idea. It was the fucking Germans. But a lot of people are scared to take acid. At least they can do this. No drugs and they get a little taste of what it's like to,

you know, be on drugs. Oh, this is fucked. Oh, while we're waiting for this boring bullshit. Is this the one you watched? No. These are just some jackasses. The one I watched, it's real. It was like the Germans that came up with it.

Are you serious? Back in the 30s. Like, it's real German. Here we go. We got a girl with ping-pongs, half a ping-pong in each eye, with a red light. And she's listening to white noise, is she? Does she have headphones on? Yeah, she does.

Okay. I don't know. Five minutes, 15 minutes, nothing, bubs. No, it takes about, I mean, it's sensory deprivation, so it takes about 25, she does. Okay. I don't know. Five minutes, 15 minutes, nothing, bubs. No, it takes about, I mean, it's sensory deprivation, so it takes about 25, 30 minutes before you start. And then what happens? You just start tripping out like you're on drugs. This better happen.

20 minutes, nothing. Well, just give her a little bit of time. Because what it is, your brain gets deprived of senses and it starts filling in information, going, uh-oh, he's not thinking about anything here. Think about this. Imagine if this was happening in your brain. Anybody famous get born on January the 18th?

Skip ahead a little bit. Oh, we got a giggle. 21 minutes. That was weird. Oh, shit. The result. It wasn't like a bad experience. Fucking weird.

Okay, well, she didn't do it. She didn't do it. She didn't do it. She didn't do it. It wasn't like a bad experience. Oh, fucking way. Okay, well, she didn't do it long enough. You got to do it 30 minutes. Like listening to a whole side of an album or a whole album. All right, you ready to get a boner? Yeah.

Guess who got born on January the 18th? Ray Dolby. Ray Dolby. Yeah. You've got a Dolby. Ray Dolby. Yeah. Invented Dolby noise. Why would I get a boner over that? Because you like sound. I do, but I'm not going to get a boner over Ray Dolby being born.

He invented Dolby. He's the same Dolby that used to write the music? Thomas Dolby? Oh, that's Thomas Dolby. She blinded me with science. I like this video. But I bet you that song music? Thomas Dolby? Oh, that's Thomas Dolby. She blinded me with science. Do, do, do, do. I like this video. But I bet you that song was recorded in Dolby.

Could have been. Dolby Noise Reduction, Dolby SR. Larry Legg Smith. Who the fuck's that? Basketball player? Bonzo Dog Band, Urban Spaceman. Oh, he was in Urban, the Bonzo Dog Band? Holy fuck.

Speaking of boners, Julian. Once named by Julian as the sexiest man alive, Kevin Costner. Fuck off. Why would you say that? Urban Spaceman, Larry Legg Smith from Bonzo Dog. That's pretty cool. Do you know that song?

I'm the urban spaceman, baby I've got, I've got I like it, but I don't know it. I like it. Marc Messier. There's another boner for you, bubs. That's more of a boner than Ray Dolby. Marc Messier, Edmonton Oilers Dream Team, 1980s.

He does the chip commercials. Ricky, he hasn't done those in fucking 25 years. Maybe not that long, but it's been a while since Marc Meschet did a Lays commercial. Yeah. 15, I bet.

Princess Claire of Belgium. Have you ever heard of her? No, never heard of her. Jason Segel, heard of him. Yeah, I heard of that guy who is he he's a bird he's part bird jason seagull that was a good one bubs get it yes we get it man get it i wonder if he was related to bugs holy i almost lost my drink well i've got some things we could talk about if you guys don't have because i'm once

again i'm prepared i'm kind of prepared let her rap baby game well the first thing i want Well, I've got some things we could talk about if you guys don't have shit, because I, once again, am fucking prepared. I'm kind of prepared. Let her rip, baby cakes. Well, the first thing I want to talk about is this fucking 27-pound bucket of mac and cheese that Costco's selling that supposedly lasts for 20 fucking years. Yeah. What is the deal on that? And how do I get one? Ricky, you don't want that.

Man. It's probably in an old... Late- night snack? ...bucket from China that's got no safety regulations, so after about a year, all the fucking plastics and chemicals and everything's right in the macaroni. Yeah, well, we'll see who comes knocking on my fucking door if we have a nuclear war or some shit and you have no food.

If we have a nuclear war, you think my first concern is going to be, where in the fuck am I going to get some mac and cheese? I better head over to Ricky's because he's got that 27 pound If there are a few days of not eating, you would be fucking saying that. I wouldn't be trying to eat in a nuclear war. Mac and cheese is one of the foods that you can live off.

And they also sell the little shaky things of the cheese, so you can fucking put some more cheese on. Brilliant. The cheese is actually individually packaged. It's fucking brilliant. What is? This fucking mac and cheese, man.

Oh, so the cheese isn't already on it? I don't think. I might have read it wrong. It's got to be in there, man. It's got to be mixed together. I would think so. It's like a macaroni salad. So is it like...

Oh, fuck, yeah. It's like that Ziggy's macaroni salad. So is it like... Oh, fuck, yeah. It's like that Ziggy's macaroni salad, but in a fucking barrel. I would not eat 20-year-old fucking mac and cheese, though. I can tell you that much. I'm not happy. No, why would you... But think about this. If you spend the money now, 90 bucks,

then you've got enough food for 20 years. It's a good fucking investment. No, it doesn't mean it'll last you 20 years. It's what it says. It's good for 20 years. It's good for 20 years. It's a good fucking investment. No, it doesn't mean it'll last you 20 years. That's what it says. It's good for 20 years. It's good for 20 years. You're going to eat it in about fucking six months.

Or two weeks. Or two weeks, depending on how big you are. So is it a good deal? It's only 27 pounds. Think about that. You can easily eat... That's a lot, though, Bubz.

I know, but he can easily eat a pound, pound and a half, even two pounds. 27 pounds, okay. We throw, how much do you think that filled with macaroni would be? Think about a pound of mac and cheese would be like this. Ricky can eat two pounds in a sitting, no problem. Okay, so. So you're talking 14 days.

Two weeks he could easily. So 14 bowls of this. That's what we should have. Let's have a competition so you can eat it the quickest. Ricky, why in the fuck would I want a pound, 27 pounds of mac and cheese into me to prove a point? It might make you muscular. I'll put 10 bucks on it to the winner.

It might make you fat as old fuck, too. Who's that? Fuck. Old Fuck. He's wondering who Old Fuck is. Yeah. That sounds like a nickname. He's as fat as Old Fuck.

How is Old Fuck? Some big, he's old bastard. What else you got, Ricky? Cause you're not, I'm not letting you buy that. Well, to disappoint Julian in particular, Paris' first nude restaurant is gonna close its doors for lack of business. It's called Au Naturel. Do you think?

Lack of business. Nobody was going to the nude restaurant. That's a weird one. I'd go there. Ricky, nobody wants to be sitting at a table having, and what kind of restaurant was it? Don't tell me it was like fine dining. It was. Fine dining restaurant.

You could get... What's duck fat called? Or duck... Foie gras? Yeah. Oh, my God. Lobster? Yes, I'll have the lobster.

Escargot? Careful with the cracking thing there, the nutcracker. The shitty part is if you spilled food on yourself, it's actually on yourself, it's not on your clothes. Yeah, oh, I spilled lobster right on my nuts. Right on my shaft. There's a piece of lobster there. Butter on it.

Burned my shaft. Well, it's no different than going to New Beach. It's very different. You're in a fucking restaurant. You're in a restaurant, sitting upright. Other people, naked, and there's just too many people close to you, man. You're eating. So you'd say it would be too distracting?

Who wants to eat when they're fucking naked, like he was just saying? Yeah, like you're sitting here, and then you look over, and there's some guy's ass crack there, sticking out through the chair, and you're like, Jesus. you look over and there's some guy's ass crack there sticking out through the chair and you're like, Jesus. What if it was a nice looking lady? Well. Might make you eat less because you don't want to think that you eat too much.

No, man, that would be just gross. You'd be having fucking sick fucks getting up to use the bathroom and coming back and they still get... And you'd have people getting boners. Things dripping out of getting boners you know it's fucking drip well they went and take a piss and then they don't shake and they come back and they're dripping and fucking banging into people oops you get like some guys up at the salad bar with a big boner yeah right his boners touching the vegetables. I wonder if that's, like, would people do that? What, get boners?

Yeah, like tie it off or something. Tie it off? Ricky, then you're getting old pants on, and there's people going, why's he got a zip tie on his leg and his wiener? Why's it turning purple? Why's he got a zip tie on his wiener hooked to his leg? Where was this at?

In France? Yeah. Oh, those crazy French bastards. They like to be naked. They like to eat pasta and drink wine and eat baguettes. You know, it'd be nice to get a hold of the guy that fucking opened this up and had a little talk with him. Just, you know, ask him what the fuck happened.

Lack of business. Yeah, but... Like, how do you get out? I don't understand how you even go there. How do you get out of the cab? Do you head out naked? They probably have. These are things we should... They might have lockers there. I don't know. Lockers? They should have showers for sure. And what do you do with the seats? Like the chairs? They got like a little fucking... They got ass grease on them. Exactly. They must have something to... They must spray them down. See, it's just getting... It's not very...

It seems like a lot of work to sit there naked. And I bet you, I guess you just throw on an overcoat, get in the cab, and then go, here, take my jacket, please. I'm fully naked. Yeah. Hey, I'm just wearing an overcoat. I don't need anything else.

It's still fucked, man. It's very fucked, in my opinion. All right. Well, now I want to make a warning to people out there. Actually, women. Snap a vodka? This could save your vagina. What's that?

Oh, I don't want to interrupt you now. You can't interrupt that. Continue on, Rick. You're giving advice to women? Yes. To save their vaginas. Do not insert the new lush bath bombs into your vagina. I know it might be tempting because some of them are shaped like eggplants and whatnot.

What? Don't do it. What's happening? It can disturb the fragile balance of good bacteria inside the vagina. Do you think so? Jamming a bath bomb in your hoochie. Yeah, but imagine being a woman. You're in the tub and then you're looking over.

There's a little eggplant thing sitting there going, hmm. But why would you use... They've got other things they can use that are for that. It might be tempting. I'm just saying, don't do it. And actually, it says in your vagina or any other part of your body. So, okay. Yeah, it's highly concentrated soap full of chemicals that foams up.

You're going to jam that in your bits, are you? Oh, I'm saying don't do it. I guess people must have done it if there's a warning out there. And they must, yeah, there's probably people who put it up their arses and stuff. Oh, yeah, that's probably people who put it in a, you know, up their arses and stuff. I wonder if it does. Oh, yeah, that's what cleaned my arse out.

I wonder if it has the same effect if it goes up the arse, if it goes up, you know. Well, it's going to foam up. Why don't you find out? I'm not going to find out.

I'm just wondering. Test subject. If you're going to throw a warning like that, you got to say, don't put it up the vagina. All I know is to put the fucking fragile balance

of the good bacteria in the vagina. I don't know about ass juices or ass bacteria or ass fucking anything. Don't put the Lash Bath Bomb anywhere up you. Don't eat it. Period. Don't shove it in your ear, your nose, your ass, or your vagina.

Use it to fucking clean yourself. The old side of yourself. Yeah. Fuck. Did you know that your digestive tract is your outside of your skin? You know your digestive tract. It's the outside of your skin, but it's inside your body. It's like you're turned inside out.

You know what I mean? Oh, my fuck. What the fuck are you talking about? Babs, I can't... Look, if you look down my throat, you can picture my... So I'm going to see your skin go underneath it? No, the actual tube, the inside of it here, that's actually like this skin.

It just happens to be in your body in a tube. I don't know what you mean. Okay. You know what I mean? I got you. Maybe I'm not explaining it very well, but... No, I know what you're saying. Like, if you cut my esophagus out and took it out,

the outside of it, or the inside of it right here, is if you peeled or opened, that would be like your outside skin, and your food goes on it. Does hair grow on it? It's like a pipe, right? It's like a pipe. Yeah.

And all on the outside of the pipe is the blood and guts and all that shit. That's right. And then the inside is actually out in the world. Is it hairy? No, it's got little things that grab molecules of, you know, vitamins and proteins and things. Like how a snake moves. Yeah.

I don't know why I brought this up. I don't know. I brought this up. I don't know. Well, I got some good news on your penny collection. Hopefully you got one of these fucking things. 1943 Lincoln bronze penny. Yeah, I wish. I wish.

A Lincoln bronze. How much is it worth? 200 grand. 200 grand. Apparently there's only 10 or 15 of them that exist. You think if I had a Lincoln bronze, I'd be holding on to it, Ricky? It's minted in bronze instead of steel. And most likely you're going to find those fucking things down in the U.S.

Why? I'd say... You're not going to just find one. Collectors have the only ones. They've got all of them. All 43 or whatever the fuck it is. How many of them is there? 10 or 15. Yeah, there's no way.

You should buy one. It'd be a good investment. There's other things you could buy. Like what? Boy, is this vodka coming right aboard me? You should at least mix that shit up, man. No, don't want mix. Throw it in a glass with some cranberry or something.

Anything you guys want me to clear out for? The what? Talk about. What else do you got, Ricky? Don't have much. You guys got anything? Well, yeah, there's some things we got. This kind of reminded me of something that Corey would do.

This fucking young dude, 18. He goes to Singapore to try to find a job, so he's staying with his buddy or whatever so he gets there and he goes out buddy says here i know you don't get any money here's here's 37 bucks so the guy's like okay i'm gonna go get some lunch he fucking gets lost and he's wandering around fucking singapore for seven ten days actually lost he can't find his way back to his buddies doesn't have a phone phone. He's dumb. He says he's too shy to ask for directions. But 10 fucking days. Come on. That is something Corey would do.

That is something Corey would absolutely. So he knew what address he was supposed to go to? He didn't know the address. He just went, I'm going to walk across the street and go to this cafe and get something to eat. And he's like, no, I'm not going to eat there. So where was he living for 10 days? Under the bridge? Basically, yeah. Here, let me see if I can... Fuck, that's how you get fucking... That's how you get beat up. He was starving and dehydrated. I would say so.

So he forced himself to beg. So this dude went over 37 bucks, had to eventually beg. What a fucking idiot. Did his buddy not go looking for him or call the police and say, hey, if you see a fellow wandering around? But I don't understand. This guy was too shy to ask for directions,

but he's not too shy to fucking beg. See, this guy is getting dumber. Directions to where? He kind of, I don't know, man. Directions back home. Back to his buddy's place. He didn't know the address. Oh, he's just an idiot then.

He's a Corey. Yeah, he might even be dumb. Oh, I'll tell you one thing. Did you see the fella? There was a guy, this woman has one of those ring doorbells. Have you ever seen those? Oh, that dirty old bastard. It's a doorbell.

What do you mean a ring doorbell? All doorbells ring. No, the company's called Ring. It's about this big and it's got a camera built into it. So if somebody rings your doorbell, it pops up on your phone and you can see them and talk to them. Okay. On your phone, even if you're on the other side of the world. Yeah, whatever. I don't believe

that, but okay. Anyway, what happened? It happened. So her doorbell recorded a fella. He was at her doorbell licking the fucking button for three hours. Look at this stupid fuck. He's tonguing it.

He did it for three fucking hours. What a weird fuck. Does it have a flavor? I think in his head it must have been something. He was on drugs. Just so people out there know, if you fucking feel like going up and licking doorbells, get some fucking help. Don't do it. Well, he's probably on some kind.

He's probably on bath salts or, you know, some kind of powerful fucking drugs. He looks like he's fucking happy. Look, he's just licking away. He's licking away there. What a stupid fuck. Maybe he's trying to crack someone like that right in the head, man. He did some weird drugs that turned him into a dog. Get away from my fucking doorbell, dude.

Yeah. Who knows? He's probably, like, he's on drugs, and he thinks he's tasting, like, a thousand. He's fucking getting her from all directions, too. Yeah, he's thinking he's licking, like, tens of thousands of fingers. Finger juice.

That's where you take it? Or something else. That kind of makes sense. That's fucked up anyway thank fuck for neighborhood watch man yes you know what I'm saying I read a cool thing about

scenes in movies that weren't in the script like what do they call that? When the actors do the... Outtakes? No, when the actors make shit up on their own. Improving. Improving?

Okay. There's a lot of scenes I didn't know that were like that. Like what? The taxi driver, the mirror scene with De Niro. Yeah? He was just told to talk into the mirror. It didn't have any lines. Really?

Good scene. Decent. See, that any lines. Really? Good to see you. See, that's decent. Decent. That's my word. Well, it is decent. I was kind of looking at this because I know you're going to say the same thing when you see that motherfucker. Oh, I know that kid. He's awesome.

Is he decent? He is decent. Henry Bogart. Here's looking at you, kid. Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey. I think this might have been his brother. Anyway, he made that line up.

Here's looking at you, kid. One of the most famous lines. He never actually said it, though, in the movie. No? Well, how come it's famous? We already went through this. Oh, yeah. Did we?

Yeah. I thought I proved that he did actually say that. No, you didn't prove anything. Good Will Hunting, when they were talking about his wife farting in her sleep and shit. Yeah. They made that whole thing up. That's why the laughter is so real, because it was real laughter. That was Robin Williams and...

Yeah. Matt. Matt Damon. Yeah. That's a great scene. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Remember when the guy wanted to sword fight him and shit? And he pulled out the gun?

It was scripted to be like a two to three minute sword fight. Yeah. But Harrison Ford had dysentery. He couldn't do anything, so they rewrote it. So he just pulls out his gun and fucking shoots him. And I think it's funnier. It is funnier. It's better.

Reservoir Dogs. Cutting the ear off. Improvised.oir Dogs, cutting the ear off, improvised. Mr. Blonde. Really? He improvised. What? Cutting the ear off. Yeah.

That's fucked. So he must have did it. Okay, no. He didn't actually cut his fucking ear off. I know, I know. He must have, like, you know, fuck off. And the usual suspects when they're in the lineup. Yeah.

Benicio Del Toro kept farting, so it took like 25 takes. He all kept laughing. He farted every take. I bet he stinks, too. Why do you have to say that? He just looks like the kind of guy that eats fucking stinky foods. People probably say the same thing about you, man. I do stink.

I have no problem admitting that. Okay. The Silence of the Lambs when he, uh, the killer. Yeah. Hannibal? Yeah, I don't remember

his name. Hannibal Lecter. When he said, I'm gonna eat, I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. A nice bottle of chianti?

The sound he makes after that was improvised. Yeah, that was fucking deadly, man. That was creepy. That was creepy shit. Yeah, that was fucking deadly, man. That was creepy. That was creepy shit. Yeah, he was...

Hello, Clarice. The 40-year-old version of the waxing scene, that was actually all real. Every swear word was real. Ooh. That would hurt, man. That would suck. There was a guy I saw on a news story

and he went in to get his unit waxed, and it tore it right off. Jesus. Whoa. Tore his sack open. One of what you fucking yelled out. No, not his wiener. His sack.

Ripped it open. Jesus. You're making me queasy here, bud. Yeah. Ripped her open. They do not need to know that, bud. In the movie, the Shining, when he says, here's Johnny. Yeah.

He made it up, but he admitted that he stole it from The Tonight Show. Oh, yeah, of course, because that's where it came from. Everybody knew that. Here's Johnny. It wasn't in the script, though. He didn't know that. He just made that up. Yeah.

He didn't know that, man. That's pretty fucking cool. I didn't know that, Jack Nicholson. Here's another crazy one. Goodfellas, Joe Pesci. Have you ever? You know, you think I'm funny, see? Yeah, man.

That happened to him in real life. He made the mistake of calling a mobster. He said he was funny, and that's what the mobster did back to him. Did he actually shoot Joe Pesci in the foot like he shot Spider? I think they exaggerated it, but yeah, it actually fucking happened to him. Am I here to amuse you? Make it funny? Yeah, that was fucking funny.

Think I'm funny? Dance! And he shoots him. That was a kid from Sopranos, right? Yes, it was, actually. I knew it. Yeah. Yeah, that is that dude.

Nice one, right? Fuck. All right, that's all I got. Let's go. Good job, Ricky. Are we done? I Nice one, Ricky. Fuck. All right, that's all I got. Let's go. Good job, Ricky. Are we done? I believe so, yeah.

I think that's going to wrap this one up. All right. Let's do it, man. Bye-bye, January 18th.

Fuck off!