Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 181 - Up the Hudson

Episode Date: February 4, 2019

This week, the Boys discuss past actors' promiscuity and get confused about who was bangin’ who, but Bubbles puts that argument to bed - you'll never guess the answer! Plus: Who doesn’t know Walmart sells bananas?! And don’t miss the rare but fascinating process of Ricky getting learnt! Episode 181 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 lager and Green Bastard IPA!  

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Rickey's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. How's it going? It's going. Ricky, how you doing? Doing all right. Trying to figure out who that is over there. You know who it is. It's me.

Is it, though? It is me, man. I had a little haircut. Is that what it was? I was trying to figure out what it was. I got a haircut, Ricky. He tried to cut it himself and he didn't do that great, so I fixed it. I think you did all right, man. I think I did a pretty good job.

Yeah, it looks good. It's kind of like the hairdo that, you know, Schwarzenegger. You know I like Schwarzenegger and respect him and stuff, but in Terminator, kind of the same kind of look. That's what I was trying to go for. Except he's like, fuck it, he was massive, man. Big motherfucker. Ernie.

I used my cat clippers and I think it came out pretty nice. It's all fucking nice, man. What was up with that? You look younger, man. I think I'm allergic to cats. You're not allergic to cats. Trust me. I think I am. Holy fuck, boys're not allergic to cats. Trust me. I think I am.

Holy fuck, boys. All right, take a snap off that. Let's get this going. All right, what's up, fuckers? This is the official Turlapart Boys podcast coming at you right now. Podcast number 181. Gentlemen, welcome. It is the first day of February.

It certainly is, Rick. First day of February. Yes, sir. And February, it's probably the shittiest fucking month of the year for us. Wouldn't you say? I'd say it's the coldest, yes. The coldest, which usually makes it the shittiest. I'm not a big February fan.

Nope. I like to spend February in jail, actually. Why, Ricky? It's just warmer. I know. Actually, in jail, it's not too bad, February.

I'm with you on that. You can stay in my top bunk. I told you that. We'll see. We'll see how the weather gets. But, I mean, things are looking up because we are going to be on a fucking cruise in another month or so.

Just a little over a month. If I'm not in jail. If you're not gonna be in jail. You're not going to jail. Alright, if I can get in the country. That might be a different story. Because we've got to go, you know, into U.S. customs, and then we've got to go out of U.S. customs onto the boat because we're going out into international territory.

So when we get on that boat, do we have to go through another kind of customs? Yes. For fuck's sakes. You have to go, like, international. No, that's stupid. What about getting back on the boat once we get on that little island in the Bahamas? No, you're fine then. You get on the boat.

Then you get back and then you've got to deal with customs. I mean, they'll probably scan you and stuff. Why are you asking? You didn't tell somebody to go bury drugs on that island, did you? I hope so. Fuck, I hope so. Boys. What?

The Internet's an amazing thing, man. It's an unbelievable... If you have... Okay, picture this. Well... Me, no dope for four days. How do you think that's gonna go, bud? Oh, I think there's gonna be some.

I just don't think you should be the one to smuggle it on, that's all. But I believe there will be some there. I need to hire a mule. Yeah. I need some caps a mule. Yeah. I need some capsules. Just like Clint in that movie. The mule. The x-ray, Ricky.

They're going to see all the capsules. They fucking don't make it easy anymore, do they? No, they don't. It's called keistering. You're not doing it. If you took a dog, would they x-ray the dog? They're going to x-ray the dog, yes. What do you think about putting drugs inside of a dog?

Why would you bring a dog? That's when things get, you know, you don't want to do that shit. That's greasy. Yeah, that's too greasy, Ricky. I mean, people are doing it to kids, aren't they? That's real greasy. Dogs, greasy. Who's doing that to kids?

People are stuffing fucking drugs into kids and going across the border and shit, man. That's doing that to kids? People are stuffing fucking drugs into kids and going across the border and shit, man. That's fucked. That's terrible. I hate to say it, man, but it's happening out there. It's fucked. Okay, what's happening here? All right, let's lighten this fucking mood a bit, man.

Yeah. Because I fucking hate feeling this way in February. I just gotta learn one thing. What, Ricky? What do you got there? That's what I'm doing now. What is it? It's kind of like going back to school. What, Ricky? What do you got there? That's what I'm doing now. What is it? It's kind of like going back to school.

What is it? It's called learn something every day. So, it's brilliant actually. You learn one thing every day and then by the time you die you know everything. What? Well, if you think about it, you're... You think everything to know is in this? Hey, what does this one say here?

Walruses have three times the sucking power of a vacuum cleaner. Why do you need to know that, Ricky? I had no idea. Isn't that fascinating? Well, that depends on the vacuum cleaner. Is that three times the sucking power of a Dyson? Or three times the sucking power of an all-hover? It's fucking impressive.

Now Julian's going to want a pet octopus. Or a pet walrus. Was your mom, like, part walrus? Get it? Huh? Yeah, I get it. Alright, so I got the... Cheetahs can't roar.

You know that? No, they fucking... They get a little yelp like a cat or a fox or something. Can they meow? No, they can't. You can walk on custard. See, I didn't know that. Bullshit. I learned a. You can walk on custard. See, I didn't know that.

Bullshit. I learned a bunch of shit this week. What other stuff did you learn, Ricky? Some of the stuff is kind of really crazy. 7% of American adults believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows. No way. That is a fact. What are your feelings on that, Rick?

What's that? Where do you think fucking chocolate milk comes from? Well, before I read this, I actually thought it might come from brown cows, but now I've realized it doesn't. They make it. Exactly. You're one of the 7%. Not anymore. Yeah, but it took you to read that. Well, it makes sense. You see a brown cow,

brown milk. Put it together. It, it makes sense. You see a brown cow, brown milk. Put it together. It's chocolate, man. What would be in their body making fucking chocolate? I figured they fed them cocoa. So what if they fed a fucking white cow cocoa? Yeah.

Huh? What is it? What if you fed a white cow cocoa? Yeah. Huh? What is it? What if you fed a white cow cocoa? Would he make chocolate milk? I don't know. We could try it. Let's see.

We don't need to try it. Part of the 7% right there. Fuck in the head. I wonder. It's probably in here. This is what I want for snacks next podcast. Beans, corn, bell peppers, cauliflower, cabbage, and milk.

Sounds like a weird meal, but those are the top six foods that make you fart. What are they? Beans, corn, bell peppers, cauliflower, cabbage, and milk. Jesus. That's a fucking... That's a disgusting mixture of foods. Picture that gurgling around down there. Imagine that meal at jail.

Ricky, please, please never eat that fucking combination. Ricky, don't be eating those things together, please. If you eat that, we get to punch you right in the nuts. And if you eat that, the offer to stay in my top bunk is rescinded. All right. You will have to leave Sunnyvale. You want to learn anything else,

or is that good for the day? No, get me learned. A tarantula can live without food for over two years. That's fucked. That is pretty fucked up. I didn't know that. See, that is That is something Right there

You know those cute little Fast flapping birds The Hummerbirds Hummingbirds Yeah Guess what they weigh Less than a penny What?

That's fucking Light Less than a penny Yeah These are pretty interesting facts that I didn't know. That's pretty light. The problem is I can't remember any of them. I need to read them.

I think my memory must be full. How much do you add to it? OK, Ricky, what about this one? How much is your sole fucking way? I read that somewhere. It's not very much. You should be good at this. Because you're dealing with grams.

Okay, how much? 21. Your soul. Your soul? That's fucking... Think about it. 21 grams of hash. Wow. That's almost an ounce. Well, that's what they're saying, right? Who's that? Crazy people.

Fuck, man. I don't know. There's a movie about it. It's like three quarters of hash. You're starting to sound like Ricky. It's. There's a movie about it. It's like three quarters of hash. You're starting to sound like Ricky. It's because there's a movie about it. I know, but I read something. There was a scientist who was there. Someone, fuck, they weighed this guy who was dying. They took that fucking number down.

Then he died. Weighed him again. Boom. 21 grams. Fucking lighter. Oh, man. He shed himself when he died. No, then the shit's still right there, right there on the fucking bed or whatever. Have you guys ever heard of a boom

slang snake? A boom snake? Boom slang snake. A boom slang snake. If the fucking cocksucker bites you, you bleed out over five days

from every fucking orifice in your body. Ugh. That's nice stuff. What a cocksucker that thing is. Is it bleeding out of your fucking eyeballs? Imagine the first person that found out.

Be like, what in the fuck is going on here? Yeah, that wouldn't be good. A balloon flying snake. Where's that fucking thing at? Why the fuck am I bleeding from every hole in my body? Oh, it might be the fucking snake that bit me. Could be that big snake that bit me. It seems to be maybe.

I think I can't really make sense of this one, but Julian, if you want to become a millionaire, this is all you have to do. All right. You start with one cent, and you double it every day. You'll be a millionaire in 27 days. What? Yeah.

Okay, Bob, so we got to gotta Let's do the math on this one 27 days That just seems a little fucking quick to me, but I guess, it must work out 27 days, what? If you take a penny and you double it every day You'd be a millionaire in 27 days Yes, that is true

How? Well, just, you do the math, Ricky It goes from one cent to two cents to four cents to eight cents, 16 cents, 32 cents. 64, 128. But once you get up to the big numbers, right, she starts jumping from 100 grand to 200 grand to 400 grand to 800 grand. It would start off easy. Yes, it would start off easy. Yes, it would start off easy, but there's a point where it's like,

okay, now I got to go from, you know, 5,000 to 10,000 in one day. This is not. It is. I've done it. I've tried it. If you just take a calculator and you keep hitting equal,

it shows you the increments, and then on the 27th hit, it jumps up to 1,000. Or a million, I mean. That is true. It sounds weird when you the increments, and then on the 27th hit, it jumps up to 1,000. Or a million, I mean. That is true. It sounds weird when you first read it, but I tested it. Okay. Maybe we should test it, should we?

We can test it right now if you want. You want me to do it? Because there's some people out there saying, that's fucking bullshit, man. 27 days, and there's probably a lot of people out there saying, you know what, I'm doing that today. Okay, it's one penny, right? One penny.

So that's.01 times two. Gives you two cents. Then four. That's three hits. Watch. Okay. Four. I got it.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. We're only at $5. Okay. After 10 days, you get five bucks. You get five bucks. I could do that. Watch. So 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

20 days. How much? 5,000. All right. It's still not that much. There's only seven days left. This is the bad week. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

That's wrong. Oh, no, just wait. I must have missed one. It's 600, so there, one more, and you're up to 1.3 million. So in 27 days, you're actually a $1.3 million heir. Yes. Fuck, I wish we had a way to do it. Well, I mean, it's easy to do it for the first two weeks.

Then you've got to start robbing fucking convenience stores, then department stores, then holding people up that are rich. Then you've got to fucking eventually rob a bank. Anybody interested in getting bonked on the one of February? Yeah, let's see. Clark Gable. Lots of people, man. Clark Gable.

Here's looking at you, lady. That wasn't Clark Gable. No. No, man, that was... That was Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey Bogart. We've had this conversation several times. Clark Gable was in Gone with the Wind. Yeah.

I never saw that. You never saw Gone with the Wind? No. He got fucking what? Caught up in a tornado or something? Gone? No, he didn't get caught in a fucking tornado. Well, how did he get caught in by the wind?

Hurricane? Gone with the wind. Clark Gable gets swept up in a hurricane. Fucking blown to his death. That's kind of a sad movie. He didn't have a problem getting banged, that fella. Clark Gable? He was banging Rock Hudson.

What? Wasn't he? What's he talking about? Clark Gable and Rock Hudson were doing it. I knew Rock Hudson was doing it with some dudes, but... Rock Husband. Hudson, whatever his fucking name is. You know him.

Fuck off. I think... Well, I don't want to start rumors, but I think Clark Gable and Rock Hudson were... Dude, something... Because you just started it. Now people are going to be fucking saying it. I think, well, I don't want to start rumors, but I think Clark Gable and Rock Hudson were. Because you just started it. Now people are going to be fucking saying it. Google it and just say we're Clark Gable and Rock Hudson dating.

Rick James. Rick James. Super freak, super freak. Super freaking. Rick James, American funk musician. Rick James, he was an interesting looking dude. What do you got? All right, just a second.

We've got something. I'm pretty sure. Lisa Marie Presley. Decent. Elvis is, oh yeah, by the way, you know when you looked up Elvis's,

the guy that was saying he was Elvis's son? Yeah. I think you looked up the wrong fucking guy, bud. Because I looked him up

after that and he looked just like Elvis. I think you just found some impersonator. Pauly Shore? I don't know, man. Pauly Shore, you know. He's not born today. 1968, man. Pauly Shore, yeah. Got born today.

1968, so he's what? He's 51. Patrick Wilson, drummer for Weezer. Michael C. Hall. We talked about him. Michael C. Hall. Oh, no, that was something else. Michael C. Hall, he's Daxter.

Yeah. Daxter and the six feet under fella. What's he doing now? Probably doesn't have to do anything. He's on another show called, what was it? The Gate or something about living in a neighborhood. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

He's great. Dexter. I wonder if he misses killing people. Dexter Morgan. He wasn't actually killing people, Ricky. He'd probably feel like it, though. He was an actor. He wasn't...

He didn't enjoy killing people. Sure seemed like a good show. Clark Gable was not banging fucking Rock Hudson. Okay, he was not then. Who was Rock Hudson banging? He was banging... He was married to a woman named Maria Franklin. I know that, but...

He cheated like fucking crazy on it because he was banging Joan Crawford. I don't know, though. Loretta Young, who was in Gone with the Wind. Clark Gable. Who else? That's got nothing to do with anything. Carol Lombard. I hope he was.

Was Rock Hudson ever doing it with... Was Rock Hudson ever doing it with Clark Gable? What the fuck question is this? Rhonda Rousey. You had a crush on her, Julian. Hey, what do you guys think of Rhonda? Hot or not hot? Well, Clark Gable died in 1960. I must be thinking of somebody else.

You're totally thinking of someone else, man. Rock Hudson was with somebody that you never would have expected. Is that where the expression, up the Hudson, comes from? Jesus, Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. Miracle on the Hudson?

Miracle on the, yeah. No, that isn't where Hudson comes from. The Hudson's a river in New York. Manhattan, the Hudson River. Did Rock Hudson have sex with? There you go. Okay, not doing it. That's not going to give you a good fucking result.

Okay. Rock Hudson, oh my God. I need to know it was somebody like, well, I see, I don't want to start rumors, but it was somebody, and you're going to go, holy, I didn't know he was with fellas. Really? Yeah, he was another like, you know, handsome looking.

Who were the other handsome fellas from the day? Oh, there was tons. Like who, Ricky? There was Brock Hudson. Who's he saying? Was he a musician? He was like in the 60s maybe, 50s or 60s, he was a big famous hunk. Oh, you know.

That guy. I want to know who you think was a hunk. Okay, he sent some letters to his lovers. Here we go. We might get some names now. It's not an easy thing to find. Who was the guy who was in Apocalypse Now? What?

The fucking, that dude? No, man, it's not him. Oh, you mean, what's his fuck there? Yeah, he was handsome when he was younger. Godfather. Yeah, the lawyer. He was handsome when he was younger. No, he's talking about... No, he was the lawyer in The Godfather, wasn't he?

No, he was The Godfather. Oh, I was talking about that other guy. No, why can't I think of his name? Marlon Brando. Brando. He was in a movie when he was younger on a motorcycle. I don't think Rock Hudson did it with him, did he? Maybe.

Marlon Brando, he was a weird fucking dude, man. I'm not saying that that's weird, but he did weird stuff in his life. Well, I need to know who he was doing it with now. It's driving me crazy. It's not easy to find, man. They're just not giving this out. Rock Hudson's partners. Who were Rock Hudson's lovers?

That's another way of doing it. Yeah, that's a good one. Right? Yeah, that's how you do it. Rock Hudson. Are you that's a good one. Right? Yeah, that's how you do it. Rock Hudson. Are you looking on Wikipedia? No. Okay.

Early life. Career. Still going here, man. Meeting men. What the fuck? I got shit popping up everywhere. Romantic comedy star. Close.

This is... Decline as a star. Here's a fun little fact for you. Okay, keep it coming, Ricky. We're still looking, man. This is... The coin is a star. Here's a fun little fact for you. Okay, keep it coming, Ricky. We're still looking, man. In Spain, Mr. Clean is known as Don Limpio. Who is? Who is?

Mr. Clean. The cleaner? Yeah, Mr. Clean. He's known as Don Limpio. Limpio? Yeah. How do you spell it? L-I-M-P-I-O. Don Limpio. Limpio? Yeah. How do you spell it? L-I-M-P-I-O.

Don Limpio. So if you drink it, you can't get a hurt on, I guess. Don Limpio. That's not a very tough name. No, it's kind of wimpy, isn't it? No, I don't know. You wouldn't want to be married to him, that's for sure. Well.

What's your husband's name? Don Limpio. Maybe he was a mob boss. Excuse me, Don Limpio. All right, he did bang some dude. He was a fucking lifeguard. No, there was another actor that you wouldn't... I know, man.

This is a fucking... Rock Hudson. I had to reread this for almost an hour. Okay. It's fucked. I don't know. Actually, me and my head almost blow off its fucking shoulders. Okay.

Its shoulders? So your head owns your shoulders. My head owns everything, bud. My head controls it all. But it doesn't own anything. John Carlyle. That's who Rock Hudson was? No.

Oh. What's the thing that's gonna make your head blow off? If there's 23 people in a room, there's a 50-50 chance that two share a birthday. 22 people? 23. 23 people. If there's 70 people in the room,

there's a 99.9% chance that two people share a birthday. How is that possible? I don't know. Read it back to me. If there's 23 people in the room, there's a 50-50 chance that two people there have the same birthday. No, there's no way. I'm telling you.

There's 365 possible birthdays. I get it, but books can't be wrong. If there's 70 people, 99.9% chance two people share a birthday. How in the fuck is that possible? If you read how it works, it sort of makes sense.

There's 365 possible birthdays, so if 23 people are in a room, there's a 50-50 chance? That doesn't make sense. There's 365 possible birthdays. So if 23 people are in a room, there's a 50-50 chance? That doesn't make sense. I know. That doesn't make sense. I know. I agree.

It should be a 22 in 365 chance. I know. Shouldn't it be? It's called something, but I forget what it's called. 22 over 365 is not 50-50. I'm disputing that. I'm officially disputing the math.

I don't know, though, man. I think it could be possible because... There's fucking science or math behind it. Do you know what it is? No. Look it up. God damn it. Look it up, Julian.

What? Google 23 people in a room, 50-50 birthday chance. See what happens. I'm disputing. I'm officially disputing the math. Are you going to dispute this next one? Just wait and see how I fare out on this one. If I'm right on this one, I'll probably dispute everything else you say.

Four out of five bills in the United States have traces of cocaine on them. Oh, I don't doubt that. Four out of five. That's, wait now, that's a lot. Well, it's cross-contamination. Understanding the birthday paradox. Okay, so that's what it's called. The paradox, man.

Let's understand the birthday paradox. This is a really confusing concept, but it actually works out. The idea is that in a room of only 23 people, there's a 50-50 chance that two of them will have the same birthday. How? So there's 23 people in the room, and there's a 50-50 chance that at least two of them have the same birthday. And actually, in a room with 75 people, there's basically a guaranteed chance, a 99.9% chance that two of those people among the 75 will share a birthday.

You'd think you'd need, like, you know, 350 people to have the chance of a birthday be that high, right? But there's a problem. Intuitively, as human beings, we make a few kind of mathematical errors. So this is called the birthday paradox. It's not a paradox.

There's nothing strange here beyond our own human tendency to make mistakes. No, that's very exciting. Then it becomes a lot more clear. So what are the mistakes? The first mistake is that exponents aren't intuitive. You know, we're used to kind of addition, multiplication. Speed it up there, bud. Exponents kind of give us trouble.

I can't hear you, Ricky. Here's what I mean. What's the chance of flipping one coin and getting heads? That's 50%. Okay, you can turn it off. It's going to be a long-winded

fucking explanation, bud. It's fucked, though. You know what's amazing? I still can't wrap my head around it. He actually learned something. That's what's fucking freaking hard. The hard part

is remembering it. Well, yeah, that's the hard part, but you shouldn't be able... You'll remember this. Just remember 23. I'll remember that, but you shouldn't be able, you'll remember this. Just remember 23. I'll remember that, but I don't remember why. This is probably the important

part to remember. You know what he will remember? What? Up the Hudson. He definitely will remember that. That's what he will remember for the rest of his life. He will retain that. And at some point, probably five, ten years from now, he's gonna say, well, that's where the saying up the Hudson came from.

You know that, right? It's from Rock Hudson. Isn't it? No. See, you just made that up, and now it's starting to form in your head as a fact. This is what happens. You're in the Hudson?

There is an expression. Yeah, up the Hudson might be an expression, but it's got nothing to do with Rock Hudson. It's kind of a big coincidence, don't you think? No. And he's dead now, so we should probably just stop talking about him. Yeah, his estate's gonna come after us. He did do a lot of great films and shit. Good guy. You should be mixing that shit, man.

I'm not mixing it. See, that's still bugging me, though. About Rock Hudson. Just let it go, man. It could have been that guy. Because he was with Richard Pryor, too, wasn't he? Just wait. There's got to be a way. Marilyn Brando.

Richard Pryor. Pretty sure. Who did... Oh, fuck. This way, Jim. Who did Rock Hudson go to bed with? Maybe that'll get it. Okay.

If you go to bed, it doesn't mean you had sex. No, hang on. I got it. Here it is. The secrets Rock Hudson took to his grave revealed in shocking new book. Well, he didn't take them to his grave then, did he? No, he left the book on the table. Let's see.

He seduced icons, including Marilyn Monroe. He did it with Marilyn Monroe. I didn't know she was a guy. She's not. He did it with ladies, too. Doing stuff, yeah. Elizabeth Taylor.

Yes. Judy Garland from Wizard Elizabeth Taylor. Yes. Judy Garland from Wizard of Oz. Wow. Joan Crawford. That's quite a fucking list. Lana Turner. Grace Kelly

and Princess Margaret. Holy fuck. Princess Margaret. He was like the Scott Baio of the fucking 50s and 60s. Yep.

And then he, what, switched teams? While also betting Merlin Brando. What? The godfather. The godfather. James Dean. That's the one I was thinking of. No fucking way.

James Dean? No way. James Dean. See, I came up with Merlin Brando. I said that. So he must have banged more famous people than anyone in history. Merlin Brando, James Dean, Richard Burton, Errol Flynn, and Tyrone Power. There you go.

He's got quite a list. He was the Scott Baio of the 1950s and 60s. That's unbelievable. Although I don't think Baio goes with the fallacies. You never know, man. I don't know either. Well, well done, Rock. Yeah with the phalluses. You never know, man. I don't know either. Well, well done, Rock. Yeah, Rock.

Well done. Good for him, man. He's like Scott Bale and John Mayer, all into one. Marilyn Monroe. It would be cool to imagine everybody that you look at looks great. Men and women. What are you talking about, Ricky? Well, if you were him.

You sound a little bit sad. I just think it would be great. Okay. You didn't have to... You're just like, hey. You think it would be great if you found everybody attractive? Yeah. And a lot more options. Oh, talk to Randy. Maybe we should give it a try.

You should? Yeah, you should give it a try. You should, maybe I should give it a try. I said maybe he should give it a try. He's got a new haircut, so now he's going to start playing the field, both teams. So, fuck. No, I'm not, man. Oh, now I know why you're saying that.

He's the one talking about it. He's the one saying it'd be a good thing to fucking get into. You know what? I wouldn't give two fucks if Ricky. I wouldn't give a fuck either, man. Wouldn't care. Have at it, bud. What happened?

I wouldn't care if you were doing that, Ricky. I hope not. Who gives a fuck? Exactly. Who doesn't give a you were doing that, Rick. I hope not. Exactly. Who doesn't give a fuck? Not me. Quiz. What's Walmart's biggest seller, boys?

See who's got it. Who's got it? Walmart's biggest seller. Who's got the goods? Walmart's biggest seller? That's not condoms. Walmart's biggest seller. That's a tough one.

Like how broad of a category we're talking? Like clothes? Is that a category? Can you give us how much the thing is? How much does it cost? I have no idea. Is it one item or is it a group like a thing like clothes is their biggest seller? No, it's one item. It's one item. How much do you think the fucking thing's worth? What do you, if you're driving down the street and you're like, oh, there's Walmart, I need this.

Laundry detergent. That's a good guess. Bananas. It's not what I would have thought. Bananas. That's fucked up. That's a really weird one, isn't it? Does Walmart even sell bananas?

The super centers do. Yeah, we don't have fucking bananas in our Walmart. No. We do now. We do? Yeah, it's the Walmart over in the crossing there. We don't have fucking bananas in our Walmart. No. We do now. We do? Yes, the Walmart over in the crossing there. I don't go to that one.

I go to the other one. The one in the crossing. The whole harbor. It's smaller and they don't have bananas. That one sucks. That one sucks. And so does their Canadian tire. Yeah, and it also sucks wasting fucking five bucks in gas going to the Dartmouth crossing. Not when you drive a fucking go-kart.

Not if you want bananas. That's right. I would have said Tide. Might have been their biggest seller. I would have thought something different, but I don't know what. Yeah, Tide would have been a good one, I think. It should be up there. Yeah.

Well, what did you think, boys? I fucking don't think I can learn any more today. Learn one more thing, Ricky. Just one more thing. If this blows up, your fault. It's not going to blow up. It can stretch a lot farther than you think. Got something?

Listen to him growling. Why is he growling. Why is he growling? That's new information going into his brain. What do you got, Ricky? Some of this stuff is really hard. Fuck. His brain's fighting it. I know. It's fighting it I know

it's fighting it off I can't see he can't he can't put anything else up in there gotta find something that'll squeeze in no?

nothing? okay this is not bad because you guys like the movie so much the film Titanic cost more than the Titanic itself. I knew that.

Yeah. I knew that already. That's fucked. That's nothing new. But it wasn't, yeah, I think it was, even if you adjusted for inflation, I think it was still more. Which is pretty crazy when you think about it,

because you're building a ship. Titanic wasn't as big as you think it was either. I mean, for that time, it was fucking huge. But have you ever seen a picture of it next to a, like, you know the ship we're going on? Yeah. Way bigger than the Titanic. No, it's not. Way bigger.

Are you sure? Ricky, the cruise ship we're going on, say it was this big, say this was it. Yeah. The Titanic would be right here. Shut up. No, man. The Titanic, it was only two decks. Even with the stacks, it was only about four. And the one we're on, it's going to be like 12 decks high.

Pull up a picture of Titanic next to cruise ship. Okay. Pull that up, and that'll be what we, that'll maybe melt that fucking thing right down. There's a picture it'll show you. This is going to fucking blow my mind, I think, bud. It is, because you always think of the Titanic being like the biggest ship. I thought it was the biggest one ever built.

Get the fuck out of here. Why? Are you kidding me? That's it. Yeah, there's the Titanic next to it. I can't see it. It's just a little fucking shit tanker. It's a little shit tanker. Oh my fuck off. Seriously. It looks like a super tanker. Okay, show it to the camera. What about it next to a super tanker?

A super tanker? Oh, a super tanker's bigger than that fucking thing. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, so you think, you know, it wasn't that big of a ship, really. It was. I've been on fucking... Look at that view, man. Yeah, the front view. This is fucked. Show me that.

What a little piece of shit the Titanic was. Holy fuck. That's changed my life forever. See? I told you. See, man, I had no idea. See, I'd be nervous on that fucking thing. No wonder the iceberg sunk the fucker.

Oh, fuck. I've been on ferry boats. The ferry we took over in Ireland is bigger than that fucking thing, I think. Bigger than the Titanic, come on. Not that ferry boat. Maybe. Maybe not, but I'm just saying.

You know? All right. Okay, boys, I think I gotta use it pretty bad. Okay, all right, you can go use it. I've got shit to look up. I wanna see the Titanic next to a super tank. What the fuck? That's not giving me fucking pictures.

Isaac Newton invented the cat door. That doesn't surprise me. It's a brilliant invention and he was a brilliant man. So you invented electricity and the cat door. That's his claim to fame. Isaac Newton never invented electricity, Ricky. He was long before. Newton, there was no electricity. Now I'm only going to remember him for the cat door.

No, Ricky. Because whatever else he invented, I've clearly forgot. Newton's laws. Like, he came up with most of the important laws of physics. Wasn't him flying a kite? No, that was fucking what's-his-face. Did an apple fall on his head? Newton, yes. Okay.

Got it. Yes, because it fell on his head and he was like, fuck, let me think about that for a minute. Gravity. I just fucking came up with the whole theory on gravity and he worked it out with math and then Newton. Newton's law. And you know Fig Newtons? Yeah.

He invented those. He was the first one to mash up figs and put them in a pastry crust. So he was all over the place with inventing shit. Yeah. Fig Newtons. Wow. Apple Newtons he did not invent. That was stolen from him.

By Jimmy Apple. Hmm. Wow. What? All right. Well, done. This concludes our day. All right, boys. let's go get...

I'm going to just... I think I might get right on the liquor. Really? I'll drink with you, bud. Keep drinking. Okay. Bubs, you've got to start fucking mixing that shit, man. No, it's healthier this way.

It's healthy. Okay, tune in next week. When what happens? No fucking idea. Probably you getting more fucking fuck learnings. Fuck learnings.