Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 183 - Familiar Drugs with Alexisonfire

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

This week, the Boys have a very special guest: singer, songwriter and guitar player extraordinaire Wade MacNeil from Alexisonfire! Who the fack was Alexis, and was she on fire? Plus: it's not Valentine's Day without a fight, a lap dance and some kitties! And are certain words OK as long as you have an accent? Episode 183 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 lager and Green Bastard IPA!  

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Okay, Julian, get into it right away. Really? Do it. No, do that first. Okay, do it. I'm excited. This is the official start of the podcast right there.

Right, what's up, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast coming at you right now. This is episode number 183. We got a special guest. Yes, we do. Fucking right. Got a very special guest, Canadian musician. Yep.

Fucking songwriter, singer, guitar player extraordinaire, Wade McNeil. Hey. What's up? What's up, man? How you doing? It's good to be in the Maritimes. It's good to have you here, man. It's good to have you here.

You were in about fucking 25 bands at once. That's the deal with being a Canadian musician, you know what I mean? You play in the mall. Yeah. So tell the people, just so you know, to bring them up to speed. Alexis on fire. I sing in a band called Gallows as well. Right.

And then there's a band called Black Lungs that's me fucking around with my friends. Yeah. And then when I get finished today, I'm going to meet Joel Plaskett in Dartmouth. Nice. Nice. And probably do some blues rocking. Right on, man. Okay, so tactically you're in about four or five bands.

Let's call it four, yeah. Four bands at all times. Right on. So, okay. So, give me, I'm going to come right out of the gate, craziest fucking story you have over the years being in a band. I got a pretty good Halifax one, actually. First time we played here, we played at the Attic.

And I remember- We have a fella here who used to do sound at the Attic. Maybe he was there for this. Mike Banks. Guy's crowd surfing over the barricade and his prosthetic leg like pops off. No way. I see the guy go one way and his leg goes the other way.

And I was like, holy shit, that's fucking crazy. And then, you know, don't really think much of it, play in the gig, sign in, like, records after the show by the bar, and then someone just hands me a leg. And it's like the prosthetic leg. The guy's standing there, like, with one leg, and I sign it, and I was just like, okay. There you go.

It's great to be in LFX. You know what? That happened to us before. It did, yes. It did. Same thing did same thing i mean not it didn't pop off when he was crowd surfing go everywhere but we have been handed a leg during a signing it was fucking wild there you go right on we've both signed legs prosthetic legs and then you were asking the guy all about his wiener if it was prosthetic you've signed a couple of arses in your day. I have signed a couple of arses. Have you ever signed an arse? Yeah, I feel like maybe there's a situation where I...

I'm talking a man arse. Yes. Yes, I've signed a wiener. I didn't want to let the guy down. No, we've been in the same situation. A guy pinned us in the corner with his bare arse out coming at us, and he wouldn't leave us until we signed it. There was a guy in us in the corner with his bare ass out coming at us and he wouldn't leave us until we signed there was a guy in the car as well yeah he shoved his bare ass in through the

passenger yes i forgot about that ass right into the passenger seat and didn't you stick a sharpie in there no i punched his arse oh did you yeah see i don't remember that same guy was eating raw scallops yes he was the guy that was eating raw scallops. Yes, he was. The guy that was eating raw scallops? He had a bag of raw scallops in his pocket. He was eating scallops out of his pocket like a snack. I mean, it's good to live your life, but that guy sounds like a fucking maniac. Yeah, that's fucked up.

Yeah, that guy was a bit fucked. Oh, okay. Black lungs. Black lungs. Where did that come from? Because we call him black lungs every now and then. And this guy in the park who has black lungs from working in the mine. I think it's the way my voice sounds.

You know, people have always thought, like, I think maybe I, like, had too many Jack and Cokes and too many smokes while we were touring, but my voice has always, like, sounded like this. Yeah. Like, really kind of rough. Do you eat gravel for breakfast? Yeah, I'm trying to cut down on it, but my voice has always sounded like this, like really kind of rough. Do you eat gravel for breakfast? Yeah, I'm trying to cut down on it, but it's- Have you ever had a bowl of gravel?

Rock singers eat gravel to get their throat sounding that way. I just always sound like this, like imagine a baby, just with this voice. Are you kidding me? That's it. Now, Bryan Adams, he's got a growly thing, but that's from smoking, isn't it? That's it. Now, Brian Adams, he's got like a growly thing, but that's from smoking, isn't it? That's just from being Brian Adams.

Okay. Just wondering, man. How was your Valentine's Day? Pretty nice. Yeah? How about yours? Romantic? Mine was kind of a mixed bag of tricks. Bit of fighting, bit of something else.

Ricky, who were you fighting with? Susan. You showed up who were you fighting with? Susan. She showed up. And then what happened? You fought just so that you could do the makeup, dirty stuff, didn't you? Maybe, that's what she seems to be good at. That's what you thought.

What about you, Bubbs? Did you get anything going? No, I spent the day with my titties. That's all I need on Valentine's Day. Aristocrat, was there a few hours. Same old shit. Strap clap. Lap dances.

Couple. Wasn't very romantic. What was his name? Fuck off, Russ. That's not funny, man. Yes, it is. He's laughing. So there was a major announcement from one of your bands.

Alexa on Fire, new music is out today. That is awesome. Familiar Drugs, new song, first new music we put out in like 10 years. I can't wait to crank the shit out of that. Nice, decent. Me too. Decent, and we don't have it here, for fuck's sakes. That was a bit of a fuck up, wasn't it?

Yeah, I could have brought... That would have been awesome. That would have been a good idea. We could have brought the song. We could have listened to it. Maybe sing us a bit of it right now. Just one line. Or just do a rock scream.

I haven't practiced it enough. Or just do a rock scream. Any type of rock scream. Hey! How about that? I don't fucking mind. That sounded good. See that? Kind of immediately.

All right! It's kind of better. Where can we find this? It's all over the internet. Okay. And then we actually- You can't find anything on the internet. We made a seven inch too, so we made like a 45,

a single and I should have brought one of those. Yeah, that would block you out. Next time. Next time. Because I like, I have a record player. I would love to have some. So I've always been curious, like who is Alexis and were they really on fire at one point?

It's always, I guess, you know, it's always a weird thing because you never imagine. You come up with a band name when you're like 17, then it's like 17 years name when you're like 17. Then it's like 17 years later, and you're talking to the Trailer Park Boys about it. So we named ourselves after a stripper, Alexis Fire. And I don't think we gave it a lot of thought.

A stripper. You could relate to that. She must have been on fire. Alexis Fire. Peeler. Alexis Fire. Andeler. Alexis Fire. And do you still keep in contact with her? No. Does she know that the band's named after her?

I think, I hope it's been good for her career. Did you know her or you just knew ever? No, I think our guitar player Dallas saw this thing about her and we were honestly at the point where we were just coming up with different band names every day. Like, what about this? What about this? And then Dal said,

what about Alexa on Fire? And we're like, just fuck it. Who cares? Let's make the flyer. Decent. Where was she from? Like Ontario?

No, no. She's from the States. I'm surprised you don't know her. Usually from the States to go to Montreal. You seem way too curious about this. Montreal's the place to go if you're going to strip, right? It's fun. Yeah.

Is that where you first started stripping? Yeah, real fun. You used to do amateur night, male amateur night. Now you're full of... Bob, don't listen to this shit. Male amateur night. So fucking full of shit, man. You used to do it.

Remember you had the little cowboy outfit? I had a cowboy outfit, huh? Little holster. With the plastic guns. You're fucked, bubs. And the boots with the tassels on them. Keep it going. He'd come out with a vest on and he'd go like that.

He'd flex and the thing would blow right apart. Yeah, that's what would happen. That was his signature move. Trying to fucking embarrass me right now, Bob. Don't work, I don't give a fuck. All right, what do we got here? What do you want to talk about? Well, we're already talking about stuff.

I got something, actually, I'd like to ask you guys. Yes. So, aside from the Lex on Fire announcement, which I'm very excited about familiar drugs being out today, I'm also moving to the East Coast. Decent. Fucking way. Like moving, permanently moving.

See you later, Toronto. It's been fun. It's time for something else. What the fuck prompted that? Because usually people head the other direction. Met a girl on tour out here quite a few years ago. Decent. Had a house party a few years ago. Decent. Had a house party

in Fredericton. Decent. That woman is now my wife. Wow. Red Army. Congrats. So you're moving to New Brunswick.

Moving to New Brunswick and so like what do I need to know about being out here? Well I mean she can bring you up to speed on everything. No she just says

like things like she's like ah he's from Ontario and then a bunch of people from New Brunswick go okay fuck. Yeah. I think people drink from New Brunswick go, okay, fuck. Yeah. I think people drink a lot more.

We drink, we chill. We're pretty chill people out here, man. Definitely party a lot more. We don't try to get stressed out. First thing you're gonna need is a pocket of raw scallops. For fuck's sake. You're gonna have to get a taste for those so you can just snack on them.

He doesn't have to get, I don't like seafood, so I don't fucking cruise around with scallops in my pocket. You don't have to do that, man. Do you like seafood? Yeah, I don't know if I like raw scallops in a pocket amount of seafood, but, like, I'd maybe, like, keep an oyster in my leather jacket or something. I don't like it that much. That is not the best idea.

I've done it. Randy likes fucking lobsters. He likes fucking them? Randy likes fucking lobsters. He likes fucking them? Randy likes fucking lobsters. He probably has fucked a bowl of lobsters at one time. I can see it happening. Oysters or lobsters? Oh, oysters.

Oh, yeah. You said lobsters. I meant to say oysters. And you said he likes fucking them? He was talking about oysters. He likes to eat... He likes... Well, yeah, I don't know if he fucks an oyster, but... I always thought it was just like straight cheeseburgers all the time.

No, man. He's mixing it up. He mixes it up. I mean, burgers are his favorite, but he will eat pretty much anything you put in front of him if it's deep fried. If there's any element of gravy to it, if there's a gravy element or a deep fried element, he'll eat it. Speaking of eating, you know Maddie Matheson, who we had on here.

So you grew up with Maddie? Yeah, so we grew up in Ontario, like two kind of small towns right by each other. And so he was probably at the first Alexa on Fire show. And so he was probably at the first Alexa on Fire show. Actually, even before that, he was probably at my first band show, like when I was 15 or something. Jesus mercy. We grew up together, and then we moved to the same part of Toronto together.

We both live in Parkdale together. Decent. Yeah. And it's great to see him get sober and become even crazier. So you've got to love it when that happens. That's awesome. Yes, he's doing fantastic. You were around for some of the craziness? I think I was part of the craziest.

I was in the eye of the storm with Maddie. Oh, man. Jesus. Decent. That's a crazy storm. So you're probably lucky to be here as well. We're both very lucky to still be here. And, like, Maddie would come on tour with us, too,

and not do anything. Like, you know, like, you bring a guy to still be here. And like, Matty would come on tour with us too and not do anything. Like, you know, like you bring a guy to do your sound. Maybe a guy helps change guitar strings. Matty was coming purely in a like, upping the vibe party capacity. I know that. I know that drill. Bring somebody that lifts the morale.

It's great. Professional parodier. As important as a sound guy. Absolutely. But we used to, when you were playing at the Legion when we were younger, we used to fucking bring the party. We used to, yeah. To the Legion.

Yeah. So do you speak French? No. Okay, so you're not allowed to live in New Brunswick, I don't think, unless you can speak some French. I wish somebody had told me that. You are a Ricky, you don't need to speak French. It's helpful, you know,

especially if you're going to be up near some of the more French places. Like, uh, my boo. My boo? That's not in New Brunswick. No? That's in Nova Scotia. Is it? My boo's in Cape Breton.

Are you kidding me? My boo. I thought my boo was in fucking New Brunswick. My boo's in Cape Breton. I've never been to my boo. I've never heard of my boo. Well, he used to go on, don't go to my boo. My boo.

But it was always with a French accent. No, my boo's out in fucking Cape Breton. What was up with the French accent? People, I'll tell you right now, somebody in my boo's going to want to sucker you right now. Why? Because they don't like being told they're from New Brunswick. They're from my boo. Wow.

Cleared that up. Why do you say it like it's French, though? It's my boo. My boo. My boo, yeah. Well, it sounds like it's from fucking New Brunswick. I don't give a fuck. I thought it was from New Brunswick.

There's lots of French in fucking Nova Scotia, too. The Acadians. What do you think they were? Bob, I don't give a fuck. You don't care about the French Acadians. Right now I don't. You're really pissing off a lot of people here today. I love the French Acadians.

All right, I like the... Okay, cheers, guys, sorry. Fuck it, I'm really fucking up. I'm staying out of it. Jesus, Murphy. I need to get drunk today, boys. You need to gear down on the dope. Yeah.

That's what you need to dope. So any more live shows or anything coming up? Yeah, so the new song's out today and then we're gonna do an... We announce Toronto, London, England, LA, New York and Orange County. Jesus Murphy, that's good routing there. Yeah, gotta talk to the booking agent about that one. Where do you play in London, England now? Orange County. Jesus Murphy, that's good routing there. Great. Yeah, got to talk to the booking agent about that one. Where do you play in London, England now?

We're playing at Alexandra Palace. But I think you guys have been to Brixton, right? We have played in Brixton. You were at Brixton where you were there last time. Brixton Academy. Yeah, that's the one, yeah. Fantastic venue. Someone, the first time I ever was there, our tour manager was like,

I feel it's a little bit nicer now, but this is probably like maybe 10, 12 years ago. Tour manager's like, a little bit rough around here, so just keep your head about you. And I was just like, ah, like, fuck off. And then I saw a guy get thrown into a bar. Like, someone threw a guy through a plate glass window into a bar.

Into the bar. It was one of the wildest things I've ever seen and I thought, I guess he wasn't kidding. I'm kicking you out of the outside. You're not allowed out here anymore. We were in a pretty bad area too. And this kid, what was he?

11 or 12? He was about 10, Ricky. He was threatening to kill us. He told me. He was just fearless. He scared the fuck out of us. That was in East London. I was like, okay, we need to get the fuck away from this kid. Yeah, we were with Noel Fielding. You know who Noel Fielding is from The Mighty Boosh?

And the luxury comedy. And he was dressed up like a 19th, 18th century dandy fop. As you do. And he had no pants on. And he had the big white hair and the royal thing. And he had no pants on. And the little kid come up and he started no pants on and he had big white hair and the royal thing and he had no pants on and the little kid come up and he started calling him names homophobic slurs lots of lots of those kind of slurs and i said listen you little beat it get going and i thought that would get rid of him

yeah and he ran at me and he goes i'll you bud i'll you and i go oh my god I'll fucking shank you." And I go, oh my God. He was only about 10, so I thought, oh, I better not back off. I said, listen, you little fucker, get going. He goes, I'm going to get my uncle, and he'll fucking kill all of you. So we packed up and left.

He scared me off. Like sometimes with the slang and the accent, I don't know a guy is trying to pick a fight with me until it's like kind of already happening. I feel like people are so sarcastic. He scared me off. Like sometimes with the slang and the accent, I don't know a guy is trying to pick a fight with me until it's like kind of already happening. I feel like people are so sarcastic. Like someone would be like, oh, I love those glasses. And then as you're thinking, oh, thanks for the compliment,

you're like, oh, this guy's busting my balls. He's being a dick. He's being a real dick. Totally, man. Have you been to Glasgow? Oh, my God. It's like, it's... Very difficult to understand.

I love playing there. Our shows there are like crazier than anywhere. But when I start talking to people that were at the show at the bar, after the show, it's... Yeah. I'm not following much. A guy come up to me in Glasgow and he goes, Bubbles, you fucking cunt.

And I was like ready, you know, I thought he was going to fight me and then he'd come over and hug me. He'd just call me a cunt because he I was like ready, you know, I thought he was going to fight me and then he'd come over and hug me. He'd just call me a cunt because he loved me. Yeah, yeah. Australia's down with that too. They say that a lot. Big time. As soon as we got there,

remember Ricky, you asked the waitress. Yeah. What's your best thing to eat? Best thing on the menu, she goes, this cunt right here. Yeah. She was pointing at a kangaroo burger. I thought I didn't hear her properly.

That's pushing it, like, really far. Yeah, and she was lovely. It's a compliment, too. We're talking, like, what's he like? Oh, he's a great cunt. What? Yeah, he's a wonderful cunt. We don't tend to use that word very often, but...

Well, yeah, we use it quite a bit. I think maybe if you say some stuff with an accent, like, it makes a little bit more sense. Yeah. Like, if a... Like, it's like a British person saying, like, a wanker is fine. It sounds like you could, like, tell someone off,

but me saying it sounds fucking... Can't say it with a Canadian accent, you know? That's true. It doesn't sound that tough. And maybe the Australian accent softens the character. British porno sounds weird, too. I've got to say, when you see British porno. Yeah.

Remember, we watched one that night? Yeah, what was that? You've got me well hot. You've got me well hot. You've got me well hot, and she was saying, come on, slip me a length. Slip me a length. Slip me a length.

Slip me a length. You've got me well hot. You've got me well hot now. It wasn't really doing much for me. No, it didn't sound white or sexy as you know, whatever they say in America. Because you're a pro in this field, right? Well, I know, I don't watch that much.

I've seen the odds. You don't do that much. I've been in a couple of porno films that J-Rock made. But you didn't actually do anything. No, but I've been in them and they got released. I was in From Russia with the Love Bone. But I didn't get my freak on. I was Corporal Alexei.

Remember? There was quite a few people got born on this day. Who? Jalilio. Jalili. What? I don't know. Here, can you read that for him?

Galileo, Galileo. Oh, yeah. What did you call him, Ricky? Jalilio. Jalilio. Jalilio. Hey, Galileo, Jalilio. Who's he? That was a fuck up, yeah. What did you call him, Ricky? Jalilio. Jalilio. Jalilio. Hey, Galileo, Jalilio. Who's he?

That was a fuck-up, man. Galileo. Galileo, Galileo. That's right. There he is. There he is. He's in the Queen's office. He's in Queen.

Some people call him the father of science. That dude, you don't know him? Nope. Come on, man. Do you know what a physicist is, Ricky? Astronomer? Any of those? Ring. Come on, man. Do you know what a physicist is, Ricky? Astronomer? Any of those ring a bell? Galileo?

Does the word science ring a bell? Yeah, yeah, I know science. He was born in Pisa. I wonder if he knocked the tower over. It's not over. No, but I wonder if he got her lean and... He was from Pisa. Pisa.

It's a wonder he didn't straighten that tower out. He probably could have rigged up... He probably drove him fucking crazy. He probably could have

rigged up a pulley or whatever. Alan Airbus. Okay, that doesn't sound right either. He's got all those airplanes. That's Alan Airbus, Ricky. Airbus. He was on mash for fuck's sake. He's got all those airplanes. That's Alan Urbis, Ricky. Urbis.

He was on MASH, for fuck's sakes. He's not an Airbots. Maybe you guys should read these. I don't know any of these people. Ernest Shackleton? He was a British-Irish-Polish polar explorer. You ever hear of him? Neither did I. I'm unfamiliar.

Oh, look, Matt Groening. Creator of the Simpsons and Chris Farley. Same birthday. Did you know that? No, I like that, though. It's Chris Farley's birthday today. That's pretty cool. And Matt, we met Matt Groening.

Matt Groening came to see our show like three or four times. He's a wonderful fellow. Creator of the Simpsons. Chris Farley, were you a Farley fan? I don't know if you can't, you can't, I don't know if you cannot be a Farley fan. I was going to say, that's true. Like who, if someone said like,

yeah, I don't really think Chris Farley's funny, like I'd judge them quite severely. Yeah, that's true, actually. What's not to like? That's true. Even for a big guy, very spry. His cartwheels. Oh, very spry.

Very impressive cartwheel. Remember when he was on the Chippendales with Swayze? With Patrick Swayze? Yeah, that's Julian's favorite bit. Fuck off. It was a good bit, but not because of Swayze. You always would be like, play that again, play that again. You'd be like, just because I think Farley's funny,

you would always qualify. He was funny. I remember I came to your trailer one morning, and you were passed out, and the TV was paused on the part where Patrick Swayze's close-up with no shirt on. This is the shit I got to fucking put up with, man. What are you saying?

I fucking... You had it on pause. No, man, I'm not even going there, man. And burned a hole in the tape on the heads. Farley was good, though. Yeah. Tom Arnold told us a story one time about Chris Farrelly. I think I asked him, I said,

tell me the craziest Chris Farrelly story you have, and Tom Arnold told us. Remember the story he told us? Yeah, I was fucked. They were at a wedding in Beverly Hills, big, super high-end wedding. Tom was there, Chris wedding. Tom was there. Chris Farrelly was there.

What's-his-name from Saturday Night Live, Lorne Michaels, was there. And during the ceremony, there was a couple of poodles that went over. Or, no, one poodle went over and squatted down and took a big shit over next to where the people were getting married and Chris couldn't, he was laughing uncontrollably

and everybody else was kind of embarrassed and whatnot. So then Farley disappeared for a bit and the ceremony continued and Tom said to me, looking me in the eye, he goes, I am not joking. I look over and Chris comes running across the lawn and he's buck naked and he squats down and he takes a shit where the dog

goes. That's pretty fucked up. That's pretty ballsy. And he was laughing uncontrollably and they took him aside and they said, what in the fuck are you... What in the fuck are you doing? And he said, well, it's hilarious, isn't it? He said, what in the fuck are you doing?

And he said, well, it's hilarious, isn't it? He said, that's what John Blushy would have did. And Lord Michael said, no, it isn't. He never would have did that in a million years. That's the way I remember that story anyway. All right, get through the rest of these fucking things. Okay, just wait. Look at this, boys.

I want to show you this. It just started playing on my computer. What the fuck is that? This is a hotel that a guy, I think it was in Norway, no, Sweden, I think. He designed a hotel that looks like a human colon. Why? I don't know, but look. This is the hotel here.

It's not very high end. No, it's got... That's a hotel. It's a hotel. And there, look, there's the end. What's that? What's that? Pull out.

Let's get a nice shot. Oh! It's the anus. On the end of my hotel room. I don't get it. I read the story. That's actually what it is. He's an artist and he wanted to make a hotel that looked like a colon.

And you want to stay there? I don't want to stay there. I just thought it was, I just thought we could discuss. I just discovered that you were searching anus-shaped buildings? Or what were you searching there? How did that start? In Airbnb, you put like four guests. It was one of the filters on Airbnb.

It was a fucked colon fucking hotel. Yeah. It was one of the filters on Airbnb. Select colon fucking hotel. Yeah, that's one of the filters. It says. Narrow search options down. Right. It says entire home, apartment or flat, colon shaped. I clicked colon shaped and this was the only one. And you're going to what, stay in this place?

No, I can't afford it. It's very expensive. Where is it? You think Sweden. I think what, stay in this place? No, I can't afford it. It's very expensive. Where is it? You think Sweden, but... I think it's in Sweden. Sweden? Oh, the story's not here. It's just the...

You fucked up again. It's okay. I don't want to go there. I don't need to know. So you've never stayed in a colon hotel? Never stayed in a colon hotel. No. The pisser's right there,

and then the kitchen table's right there, so... To be fair, the inside looks kind of nice. Yeah, the inside looks better. It's clean. It looks clean. It doesn't, yeah, he didn't do the inside the same way that you would do a cold one on the inside. That would not be good. Thank fuck.

Oh, yeah, because, I mean, you know, a burger might go by, a giant burger. Yeah. Chewed up, go flying by. On its way to the anus, you know. Yes, pups. Yes, Pops. Yeah, I know. Wasn't there a story about John Wayne had like 70 pounds of beef?

No, that's a fucking urban myth. Remember that one? Yes, John Wayne had 25 pounds of gummed up fucking beef on the walls of his coal, and it was an urban myth. Okay. He didn't have... I'm just, I was asking if you've ever heard of it. I'm not saying it was fucking real, man, or true. It was an urban myth. Okay. He didn't have... I'm just, I was asking if you've ever heard of it. I'm not saying it was fucking real, man, or true.

No, it's true. There was an urban myth going around that when they cut John Wayne open, he had 25 pounds of undigested beef in his colon. That's a lot, man. It's fucked. That's like 100. I mean, the Duke liked his beef, but I mean, Jesus. Let the man rest in peace.

Don't be disgusting. His impact at calling. I'm with you, man. You know how you hate glitter? Yeah. There's a new butt-naked troll at Universal Orlando that farts glitter on guests, so you might want to avoid that little guy. What are you talking about, Nick?

I read that. That's what it says. Universal Orlando now has a butt naked troll that farts glitter on gas. I'm not sure why. Where the fuck is this at? Is it from the movie Trolls? Universal Studios. Yeah, but it's butt naked troll.

They can do that, man. Google it. They did the movie Trolls, and I believe in that movie there was one, didn't he fart? And glitter come out, and then he was like, hee hee hee. I believe. If that's the case, okay. Whoopty fuck that. Or maybe I'm thinking of...

A dream you had. Maybe I'm thinking of a dream I had where there was a troll farting glitter on me. That's what it was. Really? I was at the glue factory and they dipped me in glue and then trolls farted glitter on me. That would suck. Does it happen? Just a sight. Naked glitter farting troll at the University of Orlando.

Are you kidding me? That's a weird concept. I wonder if he ever got punched. He would if I was around. I would rather get farted on by a glitter troll than stay in the Coland Hotel, though. I'll tell you that much.

That's a fucking good point. Oh, absolutely. That's a good point. Good call, man. I mean, then you can just dust it off and get on the ride. What's your business? Whereas there, you're just stuck out in the middle of nowhere in Sweden,

and you're going hotel. So I told you I was going to try to get you guys learned on at least one thing per thing. Did you know this, bubs? Neil Armstrong, I thought it was Neil Legstrom, but it's Neil Armstrong, had to go through U.S. Customs after returning from the moon. Yes. Why? Because he after returning from the moon. Yes. Why? Because he was out of the country.

That is so fucking stupid. Yeah. I didn't know that, actually. Well, where did they touch down? That's why. Because when he landed, they landed in the ocean. Didn't they land in the Indian Ocean? Yeah, I think so.

Where did they? Now I gotta know that. Google, where did the Apollo 11 capsule land? Jesus. Just a sec. I'm on the fucking... the farting troll here, man. It's true. Is there pictures of him? Watch. Here we go. Look at this little fucker. That was exciting.

It didn't work, man. This is... Burning troll. Okay, there we go. I got it. Fucker. Here we go. I missed it.

And why doesn't he have pants on? What the fuck is wrong with these people? Ah! Jesus, Murphy. Is that... Where is that? In Japan? Florida. Orlando. Florida? That's scary.

That's a weird one. It's disturbing. Can you Google where the Apollo 11 capsule landed? I need to know what ocean it was. I'm not in the mood for this shit, man. Was it Neil Armstrong that there's a video of him punching the guy that says the moon landing's fake? Buzz Aldrin.

Buzz Aldrin. Did he really? Oh? Buzz Aldrin. Buzz Aldrin. Did he really? Oh, Buzz Aldrin. Really? That's awesome. I didn't know that. Well, the guy's chasing him around. He had been chasing him around forever,

and he keeps saying, you swear on the Bible that you landed on the moon. And he's just like, fuck you, bud, and he's trying to get away from him. And then the guy, Buzz gets in the doorway of his hotel, and the guy comes up and he's like you didn't land on the moon he goes you're a coward and a lion he doesn't even get liar out and buzz go crank he drops it that's amazing we're waiting aboard the recovery carrier

to welcome the returning buzz aldrin doesn't fuck around. You tell him, call him a liar and he sucker-punch you. I just want to know where it landed. I'm trying to bust. I don't need video of it. Chipper said north of the city. Okay, I'll turn it off then. You don't want to see this. No, I just meant Google it and it'll tell you. I don't need to find video of it.

But now that we're Googling things, I'm gonna show you the video of Buzz Aldrin fucking cranking that fella. Isn't he old? Yeah, he's really old and he really gets them. Oh, he fucking cranks. He like squares his feet and everything. Nice. Oh yeah, he hits them hard. Here he is.

Here he is punching the guy. Watch this. So Buzz Aldrin is part of this fraternity. Southwest of Hawaii, Buzz. I don't even know how he gets a light suit on the size of this guy's balls. So anyways, this fucking YouTube video. Oh, this is just some asshole. Calm it up, man.

He's following the guy around. And not to mention, Buzz at this point is in his 80s. Okay, so now you're yelling at an old man. Oh, he's yelling at him, saying, you fucking never landed on the moon. You're a fucking tough son of a bitch. But there's a certain level of respect. The same reason why I don't yell at that old fucking coot down below me.

I just don't yell at the guy, because he's an old guy. So watch, it's coming. So this guy... This way, because he's an old guy. So watch, it's coming. So this guy... This way, I can't find my cursor. It's right there. All right, so then he tries, watch, he tries to go in his hotel. There he is. Watch this. The guy keeps getting his face, and then the second time he goes,

you're a liar, you're a coward. Said you walked on the moon when you didn't. Calling the kettle black, if ever thought of saying I'm misrepresented. Get it my way from me. You're a coward and a liar and a... That is awesome. Fuck you, dude. That's a good hit.

Buzz Hoffman doesn't fuck around. No, man. He fucking cranked him. He's like, you know what, bud? I walked on the fucking moon. Go fuck yourself. And he cranked him. I think there's that thing, too.

You get to a certain age and you just go, I'm just doing whatever I want now. Yeah, fuck yeah. And you know what? I fucking walked on the moon, bud. So. I'll fucking crank you, because I walked on the moon, and don't tell me I didn't.

That's right. Right? Did you find out what ocean they landed in? It was 812 kilometers away from Hawaii. Okay, there you go. So more Pacific. Nautical miles. Southwest. Southwest, so South go. Nautical miles. Southwest. Southwest, so South Pacific. That's right. So there's

why he had to go through customs, Ricky. Why? Because he was out of the country. He was in the South Pacific, and you gotta go through customs. You think he, I bet you he said, look, give me a fucking break. Just on the gun. When he filled out his card, right? Date you left the country?

Hmm. You know, there we go. Where did you stay? Did you come directly from, you know? Yeah. No, I came from the fucking moon. Did you visit any farm or go around livestock on your trip? Did you go near soil of any kind?

Yes, I did. Martian soil. Do you have $10,000 or more of cash traveling with you? I have lunar nuggets. What are they worth? I've got ducats from the moon. Moon ducats. Firearms.

Dangerous goods. Dangerous goods. Do they carry a firearm with them? This is covered in Martian bacteria. Is that dangerous goods? Do you have any food? Yeah, the stuff, this dehydrated fucking pizza I was eating. On the moon.

Did they take guns with them? To the moon? No, Ricky. Why would they take fucking guns to the moon? Protection. Guns. Yeah. Do you know what happens when you shoot a gun

in fucking zero gravity? No. What happens? I don't know, actually. It doesn't act normally, I'll tell you that. I guess it would just propel and go forever, because there's no friction. Oh, yeah. Would it be traveling really slow, though? Not in space, it wouldn't.

No, it would be traveling fast. I think, because it's a vacuum, there's no friction. You'd go boom, it would still get projected because of the initial explosion. I think it would just go infinitely. You'd set her into fucking, and off she goes. I think. I don't know. There's no resistance?

Not in space. Okay. There's no air. Fires can't burn in the oxygen-free vacuum of space, but guns, they can shoot. Yeah. Okay. What happens to a bullet?

Fire a bullet and... We had Chris Hatfield on here before. He would be the guy now. He would know. I don't think he's ever fired a handgun in space, but he would know what would happen. He told us when you're in space and you're in your space suit,

out doing your spacewalk, if the sun's over here, this side of your suit is like 150 degrees Celsius and this side of your suit is minus 150 degrees Celsius. They're saying it's the same thing. It goes 1,000 feet per second, the bullet, same as it would on Earth.

Hmm, interesting. So you could shoot a Martian. Good. I will. That'd be nice. Good to know. That'd be great for goodwill in the universe.

We come in peace. That'd be nice. Good to know. That'd be great for goodwill in the universe. We come in peace. Didn't like the cut of his jib. Hadfield. Yeah, Chris Hadfield. Greetings from Canada. Chris Hadfield. Gunslinger. Are you done?

I'm looking at this thing. There's gotta be someone doing this, man. Doing what? Shooting a gun in space. Gunslinger. Are you done? I'm looking at this thing. There's gonna be someone doing this, man. Doing what? Shooting a gun in space. That's not, what do you mean? Well, it's not, you know, really space. Or maybe it is.

Well, then it's not real, is it? Well, this guy's got like a fucking AK-47 in space. What do you mean he's in space? He's in pretendy space. What do you mean he's in space? He's in pretend-y space. Ricky asked Chris Hadfield if the Earth was really flat. That was embarrassing. He was pissed off about that.

Well, do you think, Ricky? Man devotes his life to fucking space exploration and then he's got wingnuts like you trying to tell him that the Earth's flat? I just asked him. He didn't have to freak out so bad.

He didn't freak out. He didn't freak out, man. Wow, here's a weird fact. The largest man ever was 1,400 pounds. Bullshit. I swear. This book doesn't lie. That's big.

That's huge, man. Andre the Giant was under six. That's almost seven to me. That's like pint of gravy type like, like what do you want? Just like off some chicken wings and then just like a big pint of gravy every time. Getting up there. Did you ever see what Andre the Giant used to fucking eat on a daily basis?

I know he used to drink like 5,000 beers a day or something. Oh, he could drink. Oh, I think he could drink 144 beer, I think, in one sitting was his record. 20-something bottles of red wine in one night was pretty shit. 20-something bottles. He'd go to a restaurant and he would eat like eight-ounce steaks. He'd eat a a restaurant, and he would eat, like, eight-ounce steaks. He'd eat a whole pile of them, just, like, snacking on them, like one-biters.

Eight ounces. He ate, like, oh, it was fucking ridiculous. You'd have to eat a lot to maintain 1,400 pounds. Yeah. That's a lot of calories. For a family. Good times, actually. I wish you luck.

And then you go stay at the Colin Hotel. You probably wouldn't live very long. Well, boys. That's it, man. I think that's all I got. That's all you got? Yeah. In the tank.

I'm not looking up anything else. I'm going to start drinking again. Okay, so to recap, Lex on fire. Lex on fire. Familiar Drugs out today, and we got some gigs coming up. Is that the song? The song's called Familiar Drugs. And why is it called that? I didn't write the lyrics, so I don't really want to jump in on George's thing too much, but...

Does George partake in the drugs? Probably used to. Used to. Used to. Used to. Cleaned up his act. Is familiar drugs maybe a reference to, you know, the band getting back together and his buddies are like his familiar drugs?

I think actually for him it's like maybe about... I don't even fucking know what it's about for him. I was going to just say something. We'll see. See, it's about whatever you think it's about. That's a new song. Is there a whole record coming? We're feeling pretty good

when we wrote the song, so I wouldn't rule anything out. Nice. Yeah. That's exciting. And then tour dates, so... Tour dates are on our website, theonlybandever.com.

See, there's information we didn't know yet. Good info to have. Theonlybandever.com. Yeah. And then also, you're saying I'm living down here now, so I need a pocket full of scallops.

I'm just cruising around. Pocket full of scallops. Keep my energy up. Keep your energy up. Keep your iron levels where they need to be. And finally, most importantly, if I'm ever in space and I'm in trouble, I can protect myself with a gun. That's right.

Never go to space without it. Awesome. Feed a second. All right. Thanks for coming in. That's right. Never go to space without it. I'll just feed a second. All right, thanks for coming in. Pound it. Thank you. Are we shaking or pounding? We're shaking.

I already did the pound. Cheers to the French Acadians. Be nice to those people. Are you trying to make up to them now? Well, I kind of fucked up. That's the best. I love everybody.