Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 185 - How Low The Moon

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

On this week's TPB podcash, find out what an erection juggler is, why the Titanic was built like sh*t, and why polar bears are left-handed! Also: prepare to get your mind blown off your balls as Ricky gets us learnt about the moon! Episode 185 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, Freedom 35 lager and Green Bastard IPA!  

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Okay, Julian. Okay, what? It is... number 185. That's the sex episode that I promised everybody. The special sex episode where you were gonna have... Remember?

The sex episode? No, I don't remember. We said... You guys were gonna have sex? No. There was supposed to be an episode where you were gonna come out just in, like, a little speed up. Pups fuck off, man.

You said you would and you said you'd entertain the ladies. You're fucked. There's no way that would ever happen. No. Maybe if I'm just alone with a lady, you know what I'm saying? But not like on this. You were gonna dance on the table, Julian Jekyll over to give me your name. I don't fucking dance, number one, okay? Just let me know when that's happening,

I might go to the bathroom for a minute. What? What? What does that mean? So I don't have to watch it. Oh, you sound like you meant you were gonna go. Tug it. No, I'm not gonna watch it and then go to the bathroom,

that would be really weird. Okay, what's happening? All right, do you wanna get this going? How Is that one of those drinks that gives you things? Mm-mm. It's an energy drink, Ricky, because I was a little groggy today from all the... I thought that's what their slogan was. Red Bull gives you things. No, it gives you wings, Ricky.

Red Bull gives you wings. Well, wings would be one of the things. Oh, my fuck, Ricky. Mm. Red Bull gives you wings. Well, wings would be one of the things. Oh, my fuck, Ricky. Okay, do you want to get this going, Bob? Yes, please. I want to get this over with. No vodka today? Yes, I'm getting on the vodka.

Don't worry about it. Do you think that's a good idea? What? Bubbles, man. He's been drinking too much lately. It's Friday. He can drink. I didn't drink all week, Ricky, unlike you.

I didn't drink that much. You were drunk every day. I never had a sip. I wouldn't say drunk. No. Wednesday I was drunk. Yeah. And last night. Last night I was pretty drunk, I guess.

And Tuesday night. I don't remember Tuesday night I was pretty drunk, I guess. And Tuesday night. I don't remember Tuesday night. Was I drunk? You were. The drunkest you were all week. All right. Because it started on Monday afternoon. Well, we weren't talking about me.

We were talking about you. Like I said, every day you were drunk. Can I get this going, please? Yes. Please. What's up, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. Coming at you right now.

This is episode 185. It's March 1st. I can't believe it's another month. I hate February, man. February can suck it. February can take a big hydraulic sock. What a horrible fucking month. What about Valentine's Day?

What about it? Valentine's? I had a good time on Valentine's Day, believe me. What's he to you? I was at the Legion. But it is pretty fucking cold in February. I was at the Legion on Valentine's Day. I heard a rumor about that.

What rumor? There's no rumors going around. Oh yes there is, man. What? You put your rabbit in the cave. No I didn't, Ricky. Put the rabbit in the cave. No, I didn't, Ricky. Put the rabbit in the cave? You tried to, anyway. Ricky, I did not.

I was dancing with Gladys. That's all. Just dancing. Yeah, well, people got to see it. There's pictures out there of you, like, boing... while dancing. No. You got to control that thing, Matt.

No, I did not have that happening to me. Did not have an erection at the Legion. I don't get erections at the Legion. During the waltz you did. I don't get erections at the Legion. It's a rule I have. Well, sometimes you can't handle it. I can handle it.

And things happen, don't worry about it. Nobody can handle an erection like Julian. What's that supposed to mean? Juggling it. What? Juggling it. Juggling what, his erection? Somebody's.

Juggling erections? Erection juggler, is that your new handle? No, it's not my new fucking handle. I don't juggle erections, Bobbs. Jesus Christ. You should be on America's Got Talent. Oh yeah. So should you.

I know I should. Not for juggling erections with my mouth though. That's Julian. No, that's you. No, that's you. There's no fucking way you would ever see me doing that. Why do you do that? I don't know.

It's not funny, man. Yes, it is. It's not the least bit funny. People at home right now are losing it. Oh, they are, man. They're saying, what the fuck is that? If Bubbles was tied up, hanging over a volcano, and the only way to save him was you had to do that, would you do it?

No. Sorry, Bubbs. You let me drop to my death. I'm not... See, I can't even do it. I'm not even gonna try to do it. Well, that's nice to know. Whistling all out of the shack. That's nice to know.

Nice to know I mean a lot to you. Anybody get cool to get born on the March 1? Jesus, again? What the fuck was that? Try that over again, man. You know what? Since they legalized it, I'm a lot more banged up. Just so many different types and things to try.

But it does fuck up the way you talk sometimes. And it's legal. You don't feel bad when you smoke. It's actually not even as fun, though. It was much more fun when it was illegal. Now it's just like a big deal. I think it's more fun because there's less stress about the cops pulling you over. We might have to get into harder drugs.

Aw, Ricky. Micah, we're going to stick to the weed. What kind of harder drugs? I don't know. What do you want to try? I don't. You said you did. Let's not.

Do some mushrooms. Yeah, that's a good drug. Ah, just mushrooms scare me. Are they ever gonna legalize mushrooms, do you think, Bubbs? They should. Mushrooms are legal. You get them at the superstore. No, you know, the magic ones. Oh, the magic ones.

You know what mushrooms I like? What? Enochi. What are those? They're the little skinny bastards with the little tops, and they look like a lion's mane. There's a whole bunch of them. There's like 60 of them.

They're furry? No, there's like 60 of them, though, and they're long and skinny. Oh yeah, I've seen those things. Enochi, they're delicious. And king oyster mushrooms. Have you had those? No. What are they shaped like? They're actually quite cock-like.

But if you just cut the ends off them and then slice them lengthways, you can almost cook them like a steak. When you're explaining to mushrooms, can you stop, like, fucking going like this? Yeah, they're like this. They're awesome. Fucking love them. Why? I didn't mean to turn you on. No, it's gross no gross to be out man didn't mean to turn you on there just talk about it you don't got to do the whole you know okay don't get turned on sorry Frederick Chopin Chopin Chopin who's that you don't know who Chopin is? Should I? Classical music composer, Ricky.

Mostly wrote for single piano. I never met him. Fuck, he died when he was 39, huh? A lot of people died early back then. Why was that? Oh, you know, scurvy. The pox. They just didn't eat right, or?

Pox, potato famine, working too hard. Just motherfuckers coming up to you and. Hospitals were shitty back then? Shitty hospitals. Dumb doctors. Dumb doctors, you'd go in for a procedure and they'd just put a leech on you. Tell you you're fine. Oh, you just need to fucking let a cord out and they'd cover you in leeches and they'd suck some blood out of you and then you're're fine. Oh, you just need to fucking let a cord out,

and they'd cover you in leeches, and they'd suck some blood out of you, and then you're all good. You'd have to get your arm cut off. They'd throw a bottle of whiskey in front of you, drink it down, but... Yeah. We're sawing that motherfucker off.

You're a good gig for the leeches. They used a lot of leeches back then, huh? Yeah, I don't like leeches. They'll fuck themselves. David Niven? David Niven. David Niven, man. British actor, Casino Royale, Pink Panther. He's old.

Oh, I guess he's not anymore. He's dead. 83. He's in the land of the deadies. Ron Howard. There we go. Know him from somewhere. He's good at something. Richie Cunningham, man. Richie Cunningham, Ricky. There we go. Know him from somewhere.

He's good at something. Richie Cunningham, man. Richie Cunningham, Ricky. Oh, yeah. From the Fonz. Then he went on to do other things. Yeah, he's a famous director. Yeah. You remember Richie Cunningham?

A little bit. Cocoon. Cocoon. Is that his first movie? I don't know. Did he direct Cocoon? I think so, yeah. I think you're fucked.

A couple of those alien chicks were pretty hot. I don't think he directed that, but maybe. Oh, my fuck. I bet you he did, man. And then he did that TV show with those people in it that was kind of funny. Happy Days. Nope. That's Richard Cunningham.

Yeah, and there was another one he did. Interest in Development. Is that it? Arrested Development? Yes. Ron Howard's not on that show, is he? I thought it was his show. No, that's not Ron Howard. All right, I'm stupid.

Directed Cocoon, bubs. Did he? Yep, back in 85. Wow. Okay, I stand corrected. Good going, Julian. What else did he Yep, back in 85. Okay, I stand corrected. Good going, Julian. What else did he do after cocoon? First film, man.

Well, no, it wasn't his. Yeah, maybe it was. What did he do after cocoon? I didn't look up that. Cocoon 2? Don't know, bud. All right. Catherine Bosch.

What? Bach. Bach. Oh, Catherine Bach. What? Bosch. Bosch. Oh, Catherine Bosch. Daisy Duke, man. Oh, Daisy fucking Duke. Yep. Daisy Duke.

Is that how you spell Daisy? Yeah. Bosch. How did you think you spelled it? Not like that. Daisy Duke, the Duke's a hazard. Yeah. Remember those shorts?

So back then it was either Catherine Bach or Farrah Fawcett. Farrah Fawcett was up there. Who do you pick? What about Cheryl Teagues? Cheryl Teagues. Cheryl Teagues. I had that poster. Yeah.

Cheryl Teagues. Farrah Fawcett. Must have been cold when that picture was taken. Yeah. I know what poster. Yeah. Cheryl T. Farrah Fawcett had it. Must have been cold out when that picture was taken. Yeah. I know what you're saying. Nips. Ronnie Francis, pretty good hockey player. Who else?

I think that's it. Lupita Nyong'o. Yeah, she's a good actor. She's a great actress. Keisha. She's sexy too. She's very sexy. I think. Beautiful.

Keisha. It's going down. I'm banging on Tinder. That's her, isn't it? TikTok. What's the TikTok song? You know. No, I don't know. That's why I just asked. TikTok. Don's the TikTok song? You know. No, I don't know. That's why I just asked. TikTok.

Don't stop. TikTok. Time is ticking away. TikTok. TikTok. I think it might be a dance song. Oh, and one of your fucking faves. Who?

The Biebs. Yeah. Justin Bieber. And one of your fucking faves. Who? The Biebs. Yeah. Justin Bieber. See, those two should get married just because they're born to the same day. Who? The Biebs and Kesha. Well, that doesn't make any sense, Ricky.

She's like seven years older than the man. Yeah. The Biebs, I met the Biebs. I met the Biebs, yeah. Was he a dick or was he alright? He was a very nice guy. Good. Yeah.

Some people turn into dicks when they have what happened to him. Well, people say, you know, people are always saying, shooting off about him, saying, oh, he's just a little rich dickhead. You try being the most famous fucking kid on the planet for a couple days. Yeah, that wouldn't be easy. I think he's doing quite well keeping it together. If I was like as rich as him,

you imagine if you had Bieber's money, how long would you be alive? I wouldn't be. Probably a week, maybe. I might get a week in me. I don't even know if you would. I'd be a fucking train wreck, I know that. Yeah, you have unlimited access to anything in the world. I mean, now I'd be okay, but back then at his age, I would have been fucked.

You wouldn't have been good like now, Ricky, you kidding me? No, now I know how to manage my money and stuff. You can't manage anything. And I'm responsible. Ricky, you're not responsible. That's not a good word to use to describe yourself. And if you had that much money, you'd be just doing things that are just even more fucking crazy or...

No, boys, I got my shit together now. You're not getting learned a lot of stuff. I even got some stuff to get you guys learned today that I bet you didn't know. Get me learned. Are you ready? Yes. Prepare to get your mind blowing off your balls.

Can't wait, man. My mind what? Bl blowing off your balls. Can't wait, man. My mind, what? Blowing off your balls. Well, you know what? Cory the other day said something and I just wanna know if it's right or wrong because it sounds like it's not right. Okay.

Now I gotta remember what the fuck it was. Oh, and just, he said, and just to put the sugar on the top i had to go down fucking store a second time put the sugar on the top that's not right is it no man no no you put the the cherry on top it's the cherry on top man oh yeah or the icing on Or the icing on the cake. Icing on the cake. That's it. So you got those two kind of in a head-on collision. Those two words. So what are you trying to get me learned on?

Oh, yeah. Back to that. This is going to fucking freak you out. Maybe not, but it freaked me the fuck out. What the fuck? Just say it.

The moon is slowly moving away from the Earth, all right? Did you guys know that? Yes. Did you also know? About an inch a year. That 85 million years ago, the moon was orbiting 35 feet from the planet's surface.

I did not know that. No, man. There's no way. Yeah. Imagine like that. How many years ago? 85 million. So the tallest building you could have would only be 30 feet,

and the moon would be coming fucking close to your roof, wouldn't it? That'd be fucked. 85 million years ago? It's got to be more than that. There was dinosaurs 85 million years ago. What, were they just batting it out of the way? There couldn't have been 35 feet tall. Well, I mean, something doesn't seem right there, Ricky.

That would suck. Imagine being in a big fucking skyscraper and you're like, oh, man, we fucked this up. Big moon coming right at you. Boom. Or you're a pilot going, what the fuck? Oh, fuck, that's the moon. We've got to go up.

Pull her up. It was 85 million years ago, okay? None of that would happen. And I don't believe it, man. We don't know that. We weren't there. We don't know what the fuck they had back then. I think you fucked something up. You think they had planes 85 million years ago, Ricky?

We could have. We have no idea. But we would have an idea because they're carbon dating. They never found any wangs or ailerons. But some people think they were more advanced back then and then something happened, some event. Yeah, those are called crazy people. They think the aliens came and... which I guess isn't that crazy.

Had to start from something. Yeah. Anyway, that freaked me the fuck out. I don't know if that's accurate. The moon was 35 feet. I'd just be standing outside all night waiting for it to come back by. Uh-oh, bubs.

Wow. There could be something to this. 35 feet. Just a sec. No, I'm not getting into it. Just keep going. Fuck it. Okay, what else?

You think it would fucking be a fuck around for birds and everything. Well, it could just land on the moon and go for a rip around the Earth, I guess. How fast was it moving? I didn't ask the book that. That's a good fact, Ricky, I'm impressed. This place in Chile, Colama, it's never rained, ever. That's pretty fucked. That can't be right.

Oh man, you're fucked, it's not, man. Well, that's pretty fucked. That can't be right. Oh, man, you're fucked. It's not, man. The buddy's just saying, you know, since it's moving an inch away that it's going to be 85 million years back, it's 35 feet. No, that's not. That's all bullshit. I don't know, man. No, man, because and then you get other people saying,

okay, since the Earth is only 6,000 years old, not 85 million, this could not happen. Oh, what the fuck? See, this is the kind of shit you keep reading, Rick. It's all bullshit. 6,000 years old. The Earth is a little older than that. I'm not saying it's 85 million. I don't really buy that either, but it's more than 6,000.

And this would explain the death of the dinosaurs. They got fucking fucked over by the moon. They got steamrollered by the moon. See, that's full. Don't read that shit. Maybe it bounced off. Say it's 35 feet from what? Sea level? Then what happens when it gets to a mountain

range? Does it roll up? Fucking destroys it, probably. Takes them out. Like a pinball. Okay, Ricky. What other facts you got there? Bullshit facts. This is a good one, too, because you like space. Do you enjoy space to talk?

I will talk space all day. Astronauts cannot cry in space. There's no gravity, so tears can't flow. Hmm. Interesting. Okay. They can cry, though. Interesting. Okay. They can cry, though. Nope. Yep.

So nothing will come out of their tear ducts? Nope. I think it just means it won't run down their cheeks. Maybe. It'll still come out like... Chris Hadfield said he got some shit in his eye when he was in

doing a spacewalk and he couldn't obviously reach in his helmet and clean his eye I'm looking this up because I think you know what there might be something to it he might be right these facts he got maybe this is not a great site most lipstick contains fish scales did you know that

I did know know that? I did know that, that's fact. That's true? Yes. That's what makes it shiny? That's what gives it shimmer. Shimmer and shiny? Yup.

Shimmy, shimmy, shim sham. Did you know that Leonardo da Vinci invented the scissors? I did know that. What the fuck? Maybe we have talked about that, that's a weird one. Nope. How do you go from, hey I wanna paint, I did know that. What the fuck? Maybe I've talked with that. That's a weird one. No. How do you go from, hey, I want to paint to, I need something to cut paper really well?

Because he was probably getting his canvases ready, and he's like, this cocksucker's too big for this frame. I wish I had some type of a tool that would just snip that right off. How the fuck did nobody invent scissors before that? Well, think about it. Or is it just one of those things that now it's there the fuck did nobody invent scissors before that? Well, think about it, Ricky. Or is it just one of those things that now it's there, you can't imagine life without it? Kind of.

Yeah. Yeah, you could say that. Scissors. Scissors. You'd think he'd be more famous for that than his painting. No, Ricky. He's not going to be more famous for inventing scissors than he is for painting. I bet he would have made more money off the scissor invention.

What did you say his name was? Leonardo DiCaprio. No. Leonardo da Vinci. Da Vinci. That's what I was going to... I think you called him DiCaprio. Yeah, I did.

The first time. Not the same person. No, he didn't invent the scissors. Oh, you know what, boys? First time. Not the same person. No, he didn't invent the scissors. Oh, you know what, boys? 2022, guess what's sailing? From Southampton to New York. What?

A full-size replica of the Titanic. And I want to be on it. There's no fucking way you can be on that. Why? It probably costs like 20 grand to get on that fucking thing. Who owns it? It's a company in Australia. It's a billionaire fella who built it and the company, who did the real Titanic? Was it white star lines? It was. So his is blue star lines. Oh, I get it. He built the fucking thing and it's exactly the same. It's got all the same deck chairs, everything is identical. And they're sailing from Southampton to New York

to make the voyage that never got made, and I'm going to be on the cocksucker. New technology or the old technology? No, it's got new everything. Does it have an iceberg detector? It does. Like a big crazy alarm? I don't think you'd have to be worried about hitting an iceberg in it.

It's got, the only thing that's different, it's got modern day lifeboats on it, like the, you know, the ones you... I don't know, man, because the steel is shittier these days than it used to be back then. No, they skimped on fucking rivets. That's what happened. Well, they also hit an iceberg, right? Yeah, but they used the shitty rivets. If they didn't use those shitty rivets... So they skimped. They skimped, and there's what you get when you skimp. You fuckin' drown.

You might want to check the rivets before you jump on board of that fuckin' thing. Oh. And you know what else I found out about the Titanic? What? They hit the cocksucker, right? And they stripped the... they peeled open the side, and she's filling with water, and they thought, we're fucked, there's nothing we can do. But guess what?

What? Less than two miles away, there was a big ice patch, like a sloshy ice patch. Not an iceberg, but a patch. A patch of ice, yes. A field of ice. An ice field. Okay.

And they knew it was there, and nobody thought, fuck, why don't we just go full speed ahead and just fucking drive her right up on the ice? And they said if they had a thought of that, everybody would have been saved. Fuck, you should have been there. All they needed to do was ram the cocksucker up on the ice

and then wait for that other boat to come get them. Instead, they just sat there going, we're fucked. What a bunch of idiots. Yeah. I got to go to the Titanic Museum in Belfast. You guys didn't even go. I know you didn't.

I know. We should have went with you. It was fantastic. I stood right where they launched the cocksucker. That's where they built it, right? Here's a fun fact. They built it and right? Here's a fun fact. They built it and launched it, yeah.

February, which month just ended yesterday, February night, 1865, the only month in recorder history not to have a full moon. When? 1865, February. Why? It must not have come around that month. Maybe it was 35 feet off the ground.

No, I think it has something to do with the length of the cycle, right? Isn't it? Bicycle? No, the fucking full moon cycle. I forget how many days it is, but... Because in some months you could have two, and if it's a long month, you might have a full moon on the first of the month in the 31st. Yeah, that's true So I don't know how if it's fucking weird

It must have must have been like a full moon the day before February and then a full moon the day after it maybe But you think it would happen more often These are the things that are bothering Ricky. Yeah, it piss off. I was awake fucking most of the night thinking about that. Why would, like, who gives a fuck? It doesn't add up to me. But it doesn't matter, man. My brain's calling bullshit. Great.

Just on that one thing? No. It didn't call bullshit on fucking moons floating 35 feet off the ground? That made sense to me. But it's already in the atmosphere, therefore gravity is gonna fucking pull it right to the Earth. There's no way it's gonna hover 35,000 feet.

There's no way, man. Well, I wish we could go back in time if we ever could. That's where I'm going. 85 million years back. Yep, we'll fucking get to the bottom of it, won't we? Fuck. What else is on that page, Ricky? A rainbow can only be seen in the morning or late afternoon.

The sun has to be lower than 40 degrees above the fucking whatever you call it. What's late? Or is on. That's where the fuck I've seen rainbows at like 6. A.M. P.M. No, you haven't. I think I have, man. Last year.

Yeah, you probably could have, because the fucking sun is lower than 40 degrees at 6 p.m. But that's, like, late afternoon. I guess it could be late afternoon. I don't fucking care. Fuck rainbows. All polar bears are left-handed. Are you gonna say, fuck polar bears, too,

because they're left-handed and you're not? How do they know that? They asked them, I guess. Excuse me. Pauly. Pauly, what hand do you write with? I think it's probably from masturbation. Masturbation? Bears don't masturbate.

Well, who does it for them? They just get their freak on with the other bears. They don't masturbate. Well, who does it for them? They just get their freak on with the other bears. They don't masturbate. Think of the claws, Ricky. He'd just shred it like a ribbon. You could get in between the claws, probably. I don't know. I don't know how big their hands are.

Polar bears. They're fucking massive. Their hands are, their paws are like that. I mean, I don't know how big their cocks are. That's the unknown factor, really. A female polar bear wouldn't be, you'd probably cut that up pretty bad. What the fuck are you talking about?

All right. Just claws and vaginas, Julia. Okay. What, trying to fleck the bean? Yeah. With a claw? Like, fuck, that feels good, but oh, fuck, that hurts. Where do we go with this?

I think I hear a train. A snail can sleep for three fucking years. Bullshit. Jesus, Murphy. That's quite a snooze. I'd like to be a snail just for a day. What? Sleep for three years?

I think I'd stay up for the rest of the year. Ricky, you'd lose three years of your life. Would you though? That's the word. Yes, because you were asleep. He's sleeping. You drink a big can of hibernol, go to sleep for the whole season. They must feel pretty fucking good when they wake up. Jesus, I feel like I slept for three years.

You'd feel like shit. You'd feel like shit. You wouldn't be able to walk. You wouldn't, well they don't have fucking legs, first of all. Oh yeah. Snails. You could't be able to walk. You wouldn't, well they don't have fucking legs, first of all. Or snails. Yeah, you could slime around then. You'd be probably dried up. Like your mama.

Sliming around. Is that it? I never knew this, but you know when you call someone a twit? It's really not that hardcore. It means a pregnant goldfish. Hmm. I don't know if that's accurate either.

That's what they call a pregnant goldfish, a twit. That's what it is. I've heard of that before. But I don't think that's why they call a person a twit. Get out of here, you fucking twit. I don't think it means the same thing there. Who says twit anyway? If you're going to say something like that, you say,

get the fuck out of here, you twat. Right? Twat, twit. That's hardcore. Quiff. Get going, you quiff. That's a good one. What is a quiff again, Art? It's a... It's no, it's what comes out of it. No. What comes out of it? A quiff. No. It is, man. No, it is not. It is, yes. What comes out of what? That's with an E.

Air. That's with an E. Queef. Yes. I didn't know, bubs. How do you fucking know this shit? Quiff is a different thing. Didn't know that.

Yes. I know these things. Fucking rats. Do you know how fast they multiply? If you took two fucking rats, in 18 months, they'd have over a million descendants. That is fucked.

What? Yeah. Ricky. I've heard that as well. 18 fucking months. Yeah, that's a lot of rat pay. 18 months. So two turns into four.

That's got to take what? A week. Say it takes a week. No, it's probably more than a week. I don't know. So then those four will turn into eight. And so on and so on. And so on.

But in 18 months? That's what the fucking... Oh, but they get, like, you know, when they're knocked up, they've got how many babies shooting out of them? I don't know. Well, the mouse is like 10, 15, 50. Oh, can they have that many? Yes, man.

No, I don't think they got 50. And then brother Joey fucking bangs sister Sue, and then boom. There's a lot of incest going on. It's fucked. That's why they're so fucked up, man. That's why they're so fucked, yeah. Rats are smart as fuck, just so you're aware.

Probably smarter than you. I believe that. Rats are very smart. Have you ever seen the documentary about rats in the New York... Rats and crows. Rats and crows are both smart. And dolphins.

Is that the name of it? Dolphins are smart, too. I'd say they're smart. And sharp-hays. They're not very trusting because they sleep with one eye open. A sharp-hay dog. I'm not very trusting because they sleep with one eye open. A Sharpay dog.

I'm not saying it's a smart dog, but it's a sharp-looking dog. Sharpay? Sharpay's a sharp dog. What do you mean sharp? He's just sharp-looking. Like as in good sharp? Good, yeah. He's a nice dog looking.

Sharpay. Have you ever heard of the movie Wayne's World? Yes, Ricky. We went to it. Yeah, I know it. I didn't know if you did. I went to it with you. And me. Wow. It was filmed in two weeks. That's fast. Two weeks?

What? That's quick. That's... That's really fucked up. Where did you get these facts, Ricky? Your facts are fucked. Alright, is this one wrong? The no words rhyme with month, orange, purple, and silver?

Purple nurple. Fuck. Fix that one. What else? What other ones? Silver. Nothing rhymes with silver? I don't know.

Silver. I bet you if Eminem was here, he could fucking rhyme it in about 40 ways. Silver. I'm surprised about month. Month? Yeah. Month.

Tenth? Once. It's a tenth of a? Month. Cunth? C Onth? It's a tonth of A. Bunth? Cunth? Cunth? Show us thou cunth! I think in Old English it works. Show us thou cunth!

And the expression the whole nine yards. Orange rhymes. Orange does not rhyme. Orange, you can rhyme orange. I saw M&M do it. Doorhinge. Doorhinge? Doorhinge. Orange, door can rhyme orange. I saw Eminem do it. Door-inge. Door-inge? Door-hinge.

Orange door-hinge. Nah, that's lame. You're just saying it with an accent. That's lame. No, he's good, but that's a lame rhyme. Not the way he does it. Maybe I didn't, you know. You didn't come close to it.

This is a cool one. Eminem. You know the expression, the whole nine yards? Yeah. I always thought that was like some sort of football reference or something. Yeah. What is it? The whole nine yards, it's a Sandra Bullock movie.

The whole nine yards. Well you know where the Spreshen comes from? Where? Fighter pilots. They used to have, on their attack, when a plane points down on the ground, their bullet, what's it called? Tapey?

Bullet tapey. The bullet holder thing, strings. Yeah. That was nine yards long. They say, fucking give them the whole nine yards. The bullet strap. 27 feet, nine yards. Nine yards.

Give them the whole 9 yards. Fuck, that would have been fun. Jesus, Murphy. Not really. Would have been awful. World War II fighter pilot is what I would have been if I lived back then. I would have got right through. Dangerous job, bud.

Very dangerous, but I would have got through the Academy quite quickly. I believe. Yeah, Bob, she would have. It was a fucking two-week course, wasn't it? It wasn't much more. I think you'd show up there 18 years old. Here, this is how it goes up, this is how it goes down. Good luck. You show up there 18 years old. Two months later, you're captain of a bomber flying over fucking Germany with a fucking Nazi cocksucker shooting at you. Dirty fuckers. Yeah, man, that would have been trippy.

Yeah, it would have been scary. Are we done? Can we finish this up? I got shit to do, man. It's Friday. It's time to get it going. Oh, yeah? One question.

What? And winner doesn't pay for drinks tonight. One question on here? Maybe. Okay. What is it? Oh, here we go. This game...

Here, I may as well get out all the fucking money you have on me, because you guys are getting together. We're not getting together. Look, I'm just going to tell you, this game was originally played March 1st, 1999. 20 years ago today. It was played by Oliver Longwell, Melissa Sexton, and Sam Sanker. Great.

Sam Sank who? Melissa? No, it's his name. And it was the 1999-18 tournament semifinal game one. 18? What's an 18? They're like the A-team. Ass-teen.

Here's the categories. Really bad dates. Famous faces. Origins. Baseball 98. Human anatomy 101. And as mom says. Oh, 98. Human Anatomy, 101. And as mom says... Oh, fuck.

Excuse me. Ricky, you're the reigning champion, so you get to select the board. Uh, really bad dates, please. Really bad dates for 100? A June 18, 1815 battle in Belgium was the final defeat of this leader. Okay, I thought it meant going on a fucking date, not... No, bad dates in history.

Okay, no, cancel us. Just wait, listen to it, though, I bet you forget it. Okay, say it again. June 18, 1885 battle in Belgium was the final defeat of this leader. Napoleon. Napoleon. Who is Napoleon? I'm going to say something different. Julian has it.

Fuck! Yeah! Fuck you. Keep cheating, guys. It's not going to work for you. Well, we're not done. I know. Well, no, you said one question takes all.

From each category. From each category? You rewind the fucking tape. Okay, so you get to pick. Whatever, man. Famous faces. Famous faces for 100. In her lifetime, she was a tycoon's wife, an editor, and a mother.

What? Fuck. Say it again. In her lifetime, she was a tycoon's wife, an editor, and a mother. I know who it is, and I can't remember. Me too, man. You don't have a fuck clue who it is.

I was gonna say Linda Carter, but no. That's the only chick I could think of from back then. From back when? It doesn't even give a name. This is 20 years ago, isn't it? Yes, 1990. Well, there you go, man. I was going to say, who is Marcos?

Imelda Marcos? The lady with the shoes. But she wasn't. Incorrect. Nobody gets that one. I know who it is. I can't think of her fucking name. She was Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.

Fuck. That's what I was going to fucking say, man. No, you didn't. I swear to fuck, man. Okay, next category. We got Origins, Baseball 98, Human Anatomy 101, and as Mom says...

Baseball Anatomy 108. Fuck, here we go. No, Ricky, it was Baseball 98 or Human Anatomy 101. Jesus. Not Baseball Anatomy 108. All right, just pick one. Human Anatomy? I don't know.

No, man, do the last one. What is it, as Mom says? As Mom says, for 100. Okay, get ready, you're both gonna know last one. What is it his mom says? As mom says, for 100. Okay, get ready. You're both going to know this one. Fuck. Even him? Yeah.

Don't bite off more than you can chew. What is more than you can chew? Who is more than you can chew? Fucking fuck. What was your answer? What is more than you can chew? Incorrect. What? What do you mean incorrect?

The question is don't bite off more than. What is you can chew? Ricky's got it. That's what I said. No, you said more than you can chew, but more than is already in the part that I said. Therefore, you said the phrase would be. Are you kidding me part that I said. Therefore, you said the phrase would be. Are you kidding me? No, Pops.

You were saying the phrase would be don't bite off more than, more than, more than you can chew. No, and then you fucking said the whole thing to him. No, I didn't. Bull fucking shit, man. Okay, Ricky, you're controlling the board. I already won, man. Baseball 1098. Or whatever. Baseball 98. Helped by fearful pitchers,

Mark McGuire also led the major leagues with 162 of these. Home runs. What are home fucking runs? What is that? What are home runs? That's what I said.

You're both wrong. What is... Oh, fuck. Oh, what are... What are fucking RBIs? What are butts? Both wrong. What is it? Oh, fuck. Oh, what are fucking RBIs? What are butts? Both wrong. What the fuck?

What are runs? Wrong. What else is there? What are stolen bases? Wrong. He's a home run guy. Wrong. What? What are strike bases. Wrong. He's a home run guy. Wrong. What? What are strikeouts?

Wrong. He's not a fucking pitcher. Walks. Oh, fuck. That was my next fight. I was gonna say that. You had 106 walks? Yeah.

Jesus Christ. Human anatomy for 100. It's the chambered muscular organ that pumps. What does the fucking hurt? Yeah, thanks. I wasn't ready. Okay. I'm gonna go with the 106.

I'm gonna go with the 106. I'm gonna go with the 106. I'm gonna go with the 106. I'm gonna go with the 106. I'm gonna go with the 106. I'm gonna go with the 106. I'm gonna go with the 106. Jesus Christ. Human anatomy for 100. It's the chambered muscular organ that pumps. What does it fucking hurt? Yeah, thanks, I wasn't ready. Okay, Ricky's lead? No, he's not leading. Ricky's lead?

This is so, I hate this fucking game, man. I am not playing this with you guys anymore. Okay, let's go. Human anatomy for 500. Whatever. Responsible for bearing the weight of the body, this bone is also known as the shin bone. What's the femur?

That's not the femur. The femur's in the thigh. I don't fucking know bones, okay? What is the fucking... No. If he gets it, you guys are definitely cheating. Huh? No. If he gets it, you guys are definitely cheating. I don't know. Fuck.

I don't have a fucking clue, man. And I don't give a shit. I don't know. I'll go to the limb and say the tabia. What is the tabia? No fucking way. You know what? I'm out of here.

Ricky wins. There's no fucking way he should have known that. And you guys have been cheating, and you fucking cheat every time we play. You can suck my... Whatever. Fucking cheaters, man. Fuck, he got hit.

He didn't like losing his way. He doesn't like to get loosed. He does not like to get loosed. He does not like to get loosed. All right, is that it, Ricky? Oh, God. I think so. I'm having fun, though. We should keep going somewhere.

Well, I'm going to have to drain the old snake, as they say. Oh. Look at those. Hey, I'm Julian. Редактор субтитров А.Семкин Корректор А.Егорова