Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 19 - F**k Fall!

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Fall is here and Bubbles is p*ssed - at least Ricky's keeping warm in his cock slippers! Today's chat includes a sh*tty way to lose weight, deodorant for your stinky bits, and a game of 'Would You Rather'. Also: On next week's show.... aliens?!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. Just wait. Just a second. I can add on to words, right? You can, but just wait. We've been... That's not how you spell humane human that's not human either we've been using that as the i've been going off that i didn't really

check it but that's not how you spell it h-u-e-m-a-i-n that's used all my letters it's a double word because i went first and it's another double because i used all my letters. It's a double word because I went first, and it's another double because I used all my letters. But it's not a word, Ricky. That's the point. The whole game's fucked now. Well, here, look, look, look. This is what you can do. You can turn it into the right spelling by getting rid of that E,

putting that in there, get rid of this fucking I. Yeah, but that. And then that's all right, Bubs. Put the run over here. I don't know what that is. Oh, that's gonna go over here. All right fixed How many points is that I don't know the points are all fucked up who cares who gives a fuck you wrote games room Ricky good cuz this I got fucking picked up three L's I'm done Good, because I just fucking picked up three L's. I'm done.

L's are good. I-L-L. Bill. Three letters, man. Yeah, but Ricky, they gotta be real words. Bill. All right, I got it. This is... We're not off to a good start here with this. Bail. That's a good one. You spelled it right.

Bail. That's not bad, Ricky. All right. Welcome to the Park After the Dark. It is fucking September the 29th. Is it? Fall. I'm freezing.

That's why I've been wearing most cock slippers on my hands. I can't believe it's fucking cold. I need to get some oil. Where did you get cock slippers from all? And why? They're funny. Fucking kids at school get a kick out of these. Well, he better not be beating someone in the ass with them.

He didn't bring them to school, did he? You're not going to wear those to school. Why not? They're cock fucking slippers, man. It's hilarious. Yeah, but... What is wrong with you, man? I think...

You don't want to teach the kids to fucking wear cock slippers, okay, to school. What if he gets in a fight? What if he kicks somebody? Right in the arse. And that sticks right in something? I don't know. Yeah, what if he boots somebody in the arse? Then what happens? Penetrate at their arse with a bath.

All right, moving on. Bubz, where the fuck did you find this? That's my horn glass. Yeah, but why? I don't understand. Why would you? How? I found it at the shop.

Yeah, but why? I don't know who made it, but I thought it was kind of cute. It's a weird fucking thing. You know, I can look from here. So why would you mount that to that? I don't know who built it or why they mounted it. Is that a real horn? No, it's plastic. It's a fucking strange device, I have to say.

You know, it's kind of Roman looking or something. I can't fucking believe it. End of September, boys. Fucking summer's done. Summer's over. Fucking snow's coming. It's depression. Let's just go to jail, man.

It's fucking depression. This is... I'm serious. Summer's a fucking snows coming. It's the precious go to jail man. It's fucking depression It's this is I'm serious. I'm gonna stay to mind. It's not over until I say it's over Alright, not until the snow hits the ground. It's still summer. All right, that's a good rule I like the way you think fall. I like the way you think it. I like it too. It was beautiful this week 20 degrees it was nice this week nicer than a lot of days of summer than fucking rained all summer second rain that's right beautiful week here you are complaining well this fucking story boys this kind of reminded me of Jacob woman who held stupid no but he's stupid he should be doing this woman who held 16 jobs simultaneously for three years never actually did any work but she was getting paid like how the fuck how do i sign me up calling sick fucking

i don't know man like i can't imagine doing that that's a lot of work but she was getting paid she moved to a nice big fucking she's like george costanza she was probably just hanging out in the bathroom all day i mean there's got to be a way of doing that around here. How, like, how would you do it, though? See, but you're already putting effort into it. You know what's easier? Just go get a fucking job and do the job. Well, you've got to find a job where you work from home,

because then they don't know if you're working or not. And then you go get another job where you work from home, and you kind of just do them both. That's what she was doing. Okay, see, that's not too hard. See, you should try it, man. You should see just do them both. That's what she was doing. Okay, see, that's not too hard. See? You should try it, man. You should see how many jobs

you can get going. You've got to do the job and be productive. Or you hire someone for a little less money to do all the work. Then you do nothing. You're like a little...

See? You're the boss. In between her, they call it. You're the boss. You sublet out your job. I like it. To somebody that'll do it cheaper than you.

That is perfect, man. I bet you we'd get Corey and Trevor to do that. Maybe Randy. Get them to get a couple jobs. You just need a hard worker. That's the hard part. Yeah. Nobody wants to work.

You don't know any of those. What? Me. Oh, you're... Come on, Buzz. Who works harder than me? All Oh, you're... Come on, buds. Who works harder than me? All right, you get 16 jobs, and see how you can make it with that.

I can do 16 fucking jobs. No problem. Remember when I got arrested? We took the old man's fucking truck for a ride when I was 10? Which time? You guys thought I was fucked, and everyone in the world thought I was fucked because I was out driving at 10.

Yeah. Somebody else just did it. Yes. Smart man. It's fucking very smart. Florida, they pull over a 10-year-old boy and his 11-year-old sister 320 kilometers from their mom's house. Whoa. That's a fucking, That's a good fucking...

They went on a trip. I guess her mom was being a bit of a... Cunt? Yeah. And what? Took away the girl's electronics. She's like, fuck this. Got her younger brother.

Your younger brother said, we're moving to California, bud. It's a bit of a hook from Florida. They made her 320 kilometers. That's pretty good distance. So how far did it get? That would be what? I don't fucking know what you're talking about. They would be, you know.

How far would they make it? 300 kilometers. They'd be into the next state, wouldn't they? Depends how far down. Florida's a big fucking state, man. You're right. Yeah, it depends on where they left from in Florida. But if they were up at the top, you know, on the west side,

they would have made it definitely. Here's the most fucked up part. The mother reported the car stolen and their kids were missing, so they thought the fucking kids were kidnapped. So when they pulled the car over, it was full guns out. Get the fuck out of the car with your hands up. Two little fuckers get out. That's awesome. That kid is a fucking nightmare, man.

He's a hero. He is going to be a fucking disaster. It is awesome. He's is a fucking nightmare, man. He's a hero. He is going to be a fucking disaster. It is awesome. He's a pretty good fucking younger brother. His mom's being a bitch. Can you drive me to California? We're moving. Oh, he was the younger brother.

Oh, yeah. He was 10, the driver. How old was the other kid? 11. That's his sister. That's fucking awesome, man. I'm fucking smart at 11. My mom's fucked.

I'm moving to California. Get in the car. We're moving to California. I'll get us a house when we get there And I don't know what the plan was financially Well, they're kids Ricky. They're not thinking of that Russian man in prison 22 years ago escapes on the day of his release Idiot what a fucking like why would you escape on on the day you're getting out after 22 years? Is he out of his goddamn mind? Nope, he's not. He's in perfect mind. Makes total sense to me.

I've done the same thing. What do you mean? Why would he do that? Didn't want to leave. Must have been a great jail. Must have been good. 22 years, that's a long time. You get used to it. Oh, that has to be the only explanation.

Yep. Because you'd have to be nuts to try to escape the day you're getting out after 22 years if you didn't want to leave. Yeah, it is a bit of a weird thing to do, unless you really, really love the place you're at or you really don't want to go to the other world. He's probably hearing stuff about this world. He's like, why the fuck would I want to go and deal with that horse shit?

You know what? He's still on the run. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. He's still on the run. But still, like, seriously. Is he really on the run? Well. I guess that makes sense. He's still on the run. What did you... But still, like, seriously, was he really on the run? Well, he escaped, what, a couple hours early?

But wouldn't he... What the fuck is the crime in that? If he were a cop, he'd be like, he did 22... Oh, fuck it. Just let him fucking go. He couldn't wait any longer.

You could just let him go, man. He got too excited. He's like a horse, you know, or when you're doing the, you know, the 100-meter dash, and somebody goes before the pistol he was just kind of like that see it's fucked up if this guy wasn't planning on going back think about it he's on the run like that sucks being on the run sucks yeah that's hiding

from people yeah if you're gonna be on the run like you should have just waited the extra couple hours exactly man yeah could he have not just chilled out for another four or five hours. Maybe he likes the excitement of being on the run. It is kind of exciting. Maybe he was going to get shanked before he went out. He's like, I'm the fuck out of here. We'll have to get a hold of him. We don't know this guy's story. It could be legit.

He could have been getting pulled out of there. If anybody knows this guy, tell them to get a hold of us. He could have just put on some Netflix. We want to know. You know, binge watch something to kill a few hours. Yeah, unless he was going to get shanked, man. He wouldn't want to get the fuck out of there. Yeah, there might have been a hit on him.

Could have been a hit. I think they should let him go. I agree. Just say, hey, bud, you're not on the run anymore. You're good. You're good. Or just make him come back and do, like, you know, two days or something. How the fuck does this happen, man?

This guy, okay, Guinness Book of World Records for losing weight. He lost 11 kilos in two and a half hours. That's a lot. 11 kilos in what? Of weight in two and a half hours. That's a new world record. I spoke 20, what, 28 pounds? So how's the fuck is that possible?

Shitting and sweating. Shitting and sweating, man. He did a 21-kilometer race. Jesus Christ. Well, what's the biggest shit you could have? Three-footer, probably. Three-footer? If you were bound up.

Three-footer? Who the fuck? I had one once. A three-footer? I don't know if it was three, but it was well over two and a half. Well, that's pretty much three. you might as well call her three it's called up soft serve oh you did a soft serve yeah a coiler fucking it was about i was bound up for a few days and then somebody gave me the stuff that makes you not like that and oh wasn't it those eye drops

came it was those eye drops you put the eye drops in somebody's water or something. Yeah. You'd shit yourself. Yeah, man. What, those eye drops? They can also kill you. Fucking Visine, man. Visine will kill you if you drink too much.

Oh, really? Yes. I thought it was just like salt water. People have killed other humans with it. With saline, with Visine. I'm pretty sure. Maybe I dropped it. I don't know if you can kill them, man.

Ricky, it's just salt water. I think you can kill someone with it if you put enough in. You can definitely shit yourself anyway. Jesus. Wow, man. You heard about the, they found flamingos in Wisconsin. That's a little fucky. Five of them on a beach in Lake Michigan.

What? Yeah. Where the fuck would they have come from now? Florida down south. They think it might have been Hurricane Idalia or whatever that bitch's name was. Just blew the little fuckers up to Michigan. I guess, but

it's kind of fucked. Blew them off course. Flamingos don't look like the most, you know, stable. It's probably because our planet is destroyed, guess everything's getting all around yeah alligators showing up in the arctic like the polar bears i'd like to have a flamingo why just a different kind of a bird you can feed lots of shrimp to keep them pink but feed them lots of shrimp to keep them pink.

What the fuck does that have to do with it? That's where they get the color. They don't eat shrimp, do they? What the fuck are you talking about? Are you serious? Whatever they eat is what turns them pink. I remember being baked and I read that somewhere. No, what?

What are they, maybe they eat insulation, do they? Well, you eat carrots, you start turning orange, don't ya? Same thing? No. You ever seen seen orange rabbit ricky is outsmarting you left and right i thought if you somebody that one dude carl whatever his name is ate a bunch of carrots and he started his skin start turning orange carl lewis the runner no man not that guy some of other guy carl carl lewis was black carl

from the world okay that's not carl lewis is eating the carrots what carl from that world traveling show yeah that's who it was carl pilkington yes i think so ricky gervais buddy with the bald head i think so man i think he turned orange he He didn't turn orange, did he? Oh, fuck. He might have been. He was dreaming it. You know. Maybe he was jaundiced. That is yellow. Yeah, that's yellow, man. I'm not sure.

I think that's your eyeballs and your teeth and your fingernails and your wiener. I've got a couple of would you rather questions for you, fellas. Oh. All right. Would you rather have a mouth full of broken teeth or a mouth without teeth? Oh, fuck. That's a fuck. I'd have to go with no teeth.

Probably pretty busted up. Busted like half teeth and... Yeah, like a mess. You get those, what are they called, veneer thingies or whatever, attached right on your teeth? Yeah, it depends on how You get those, what are they called, veneer thingies or whatever, attached right on your teeth? Yeah, it depends on how smashed up they are, though. Is it just like the nibs of them sticking out, or is it just like a little chip off the side?

Kind of like shark teeth. I'll take the shark teeth. Oh, wait now. Are the nerves exposed? Oh, yeah. Oh, the nerves are hanging out? Oh, you've got to have no teeth on that. No teeth.

Fuck that. Get Julian over here for a on that. No teeth. Fuck that. Get Julian over here for a gummer. All right. Gummer? What do you mean by that? A gummer. You want me to give you a gummer? No, I just said...

What did you say? Get Julian over here for a gummer? Somebody else would be saying... Other people would be saying, get Julian over here for a gummer. Yeah. What is a gummer? Use your imagination.

over here for a gommer. What is a gommer? Use your imagination. A lady takes her dentures out. Oh, okay. Okay. No, man. It's not ever happened to you, right? I lead

a pretty crazy life. He's been with some old birds, man. At the Legion? Oh, yeah. You don't even want to fucking... I'm not telling you anything. If you had no teeth, would you be giving gummers at the Legion? When you're older?

No, man. For a fee? For the ladies. I'd be doing lady gums, gummers. All right, would you rather marry the hottest person you ever met or the best cook you ever met? Hottest person. I'm okay with takeout, man.

What if the hottest person you ever met's a man? That's why I'm on the fence. What the fuck, boys? Like, what are you talking about? No, I don't care if you marry a man. I couldn't care less. It's more difficult than it should be. Matty Matheson was probably the best cook I ever met. I don't know if I'd a man. I couldn't care less. Why are you making this more difficult than it should be? Matty Matheson was probably the best cook I ever met.

I don't know if I'd marry him. You're right. Right. Jack Tripper was probably the best chef I know. He's dead. I wouldn't marry Jack Tripper. Why might? Would you rather be rich with the job you hate or poor with the job you love?

Rich with the job you hate or poor with a job you love? Rich with a job you hate. Yeah, see. You gotta have the money, man. Because then you can just quit. You're already rich. That's right. You retire at some point. You quit and get a shitty job that you love.

That's right. That's right, but you're rich. But maybe you'd be rich in happiness with a job you like. I can't understand that, but maybe. Would you rather give up the internet or shower in for a month? Internet, man. Really? I don't want to fucking stink, man.

Well, you've gone a month without showering. You don't stink. You can still put on Lume. All right, I'll go with the internet and I'll put on the Lume. There you go. What's Lume? Don't know. It's all the rage.

What's the Lume? That new deodorant that's for everything. What? lume? Don't know. It's all the rage. What's the lume? That new deodorant that's for everything. What? Your pits, your ass crack, everything. Lume. Isn't that like Axe Body Spray? And it lasts 72 hours, they say. I've only seen the commercial because I think it's expensive.

But the lady comes on and she's like, it's not just for your pits. You put it under your boobs and on your... Scrotum? Yeah, she doesn't say scrotum, but she implies your bits. Your bits? Yeah, but can you... I've used deodorant on my bits already. I know you have Ricky, but it's not made for that. Fantastic.

But if you taste the shit, are you gonna get sick? Will it make you sick? Why would you taste it? Well, if you get it on your bits and, you know. And you're blowing yourself? No, no, no. You got other people. What? If you're somebody else tasting it,

it wouldn't, unless you're super flexible. That's what I'm saying. Is it going to make the other people sick? Julian's giving himself a gummer. I'm not giving myself a gummer, man. I'm just asking. That's why you've been spending so much time at home. Jesus Christ.

Julian's sitting in the sink giving himself a gummer. And people say, if I could do that, I'd be home all day alone. But think about it, would you? Think about it. No, you should be at the psychiatrist. You should be at the psychiatrist, Matt. Trying to figure out why you're giving yourself gummers all day. Yeah.

Would you rather get $1 million now or $5,000 per week for the rest of your life? Million now. Turn it into fucking ten. Fest the shit out of it, man. Yeah, it's a good call because you could be dead tomorrow. Yeah. Get her all now and fucking blow it in one night. All right.

Good answers, boys. Is that it? For now. There will be more. Okay. I'm looking forward to doing more of these, man. So this person contacted me that apparently we all went to high school with. And apparently now he's like some kind of alien, UFO guy.

Expert? He claims to be. What's his name? Oh. First name only. Mark, I believe. Merk, okay. Merk.

And he also goes by the name Tau, or some Tau thing. I don't know if that's an alien maybe that he talks to. He talks to aliens? I think he does, yeah. Anyway, he was wondering if we wanted him to come here and he could talk about how he's going to be the person that introduces the human race to the aliens. And he said he could bring some spaceships.

Well, fucking bring the spaceships down, man. And you're asking if we want them? Are you crazy? Get him here. Get him here, man. I want to talk to this fucking guy. All right, I'll see if I can get him here. He can bring spaceships. That's what he says. He says he's got footage of tons of them. Other weird things. Lights changing colors. Where does he live?

He lives in, I think Vancouver, somewhere in... He's gonna bring the spaceship from Vancouver to Nova Scotia. I guess it's not a... It's easy for them to fly this far, I guess. Where does this guy, um... He did send a video and it looked like a plane, I thought. He said sometimes they disguise themselves as planes. Where does he sleep at night, Ricky?

Just out of curiosity. What do you mean? Well, I'm just wondering, is it in a house or a hospital or... I think he has an apartment or a house. Okay. So, all right. So, he's legit. He's the real deal.

Well, he says he takes video out of his bedroom window. So he definitely has a bedroom somewhere. Okay, and he takes videos of alien ships. Yep, I guess they're friends. He's friends with a fucking alien, man. I want Bill, he's going to do some dust? He said he could, so I'll tell him to come maybe. Fucking bring it on, man.

Definitely, I would love to. I don't really remember him because I was smoking a lot back then, but he said he remembers us. Tell me this. Is there male and female aliens? Does he tell you that? I didn't get that far. Toe. Tau. I mean, Tau sounds like a guy.

Doesn't it, Bubs? Maybe they're like unisex. Unisex. Could be. And it goes. Wow, her maaffrediti? Her Maffrediti. Maffrediti.

Or is that a nurse? Yes, that's a nurse, Ricky. Maffrediti, man. Oh yeah. So he's gonna come here and talk to us about aliens? He said he would if we wanted to, and I didn't know if you guys would be into it. Definitely, man. Definitely. If he thinks he's talking to aliens, I need to have a conversation with this guy.

Big time, man. If he's gonna introduce the world to the aliens, imagine if we're the first ones being introduced to the aliens. There's gotta be money. I've already met one. I wonder why they picked him. Come on, bubs. I am 99% sure I met a tall white.

Where? Down at the Legion. Oh, this not always going to the fucking Legion. I'm 99% sure I met a tall white. Where? Down at the Legion. There's not tall whites going to the fucking Legion, man. Why wouldn't there be? They could be everywhere. I'm telling you, the cocksucker was about seven feet tall and his legs bent slightly the wrong way. They were hinged the wrong way like an ostrich or a flamingo.

Weird. Wow, man. And he had a little bit of a translucent vibe to him. Did he smell good? He smelled lovely. He was wearing lume. I gotta look into this lume. Me too, man.

I like just to say the word. Lume. Or maybe it's pronounced loom. I don't know. Lume. Lume? L-U-M-E. Lume. Or maybe it's pronounced loom. I don't know. Lume. Lume? L-U-M-E. Lume.

Does it have like an accent of goo thingy at the end? Can't remember. French thing? Can't remember. Lume. Lume. I want to try this lume shit. It's nice, I bet.

Comes in a stack or a nice like... Yeah, but the thing is, it doesn't... It just... What does it do? Like, does it clean you up? It's just some kind of deodorant. So if you were doing some banging of stuff, you're like, oh, fuck,

I'm going to go to the movie now and does that take care of it or what? Well, I think so, but you put it on, yeah, probably before the banging. So it's kind of like dry shampoo and deodorant.

For your body? Yes. Does it smell nice? Apparently, well, here's what the commercial I saw. They put a stink meter onto somebody. Yes. Was it smoke? Who made it? Apparently, well, here's what the commercial I saw. They put a stink meter onto somebody. Yes. Raid it like an arse crack.

They put a fucking stink meter there. How does a stink meter? What is this? There's a stink meter. There's a stink meter? Yes, there's stink meters. What does it measure? How do you think fucking perfume companies measure things?

They don't use stink meters, man. There is actually someone's fucking name. It's not called a stink meter, but it's a thing that measures stink particles. Airborne particles. Oh, man. Are you serious? It's a particle meter. Imagine what a methane detector is.

Okay. That's a stink meter. Right? All right. So they put the stink meter near somebody's ass and it reads like, you know, 20 or something, 25%. Fucking bit of lume in there. Stink meter, zero. It couldn't detect stink at all.

And then it lasts for 72 hours, Rick. You don't have to put stuff on your nuts every three days. You know what? We got to guess, where do you get this shit? The drugstore? No, I think it's online only. Of course. And it wasn't cheap. Let me take a look. It's not cheap. There's a starter pack for

about $60. You know what? You could sell a shit ton of this stuff in jail, man, because you know how people don't like to go in the showers because if you're... You've got to watch yourself, man. it comes in a cream or a stick or who the fuck is this i think they have wipes and maybe a spray i don't know lume buy lume on amazon two-day free shipping all right it's the whole body deodorant like you said four stars out of five it's not great. Four out of five?

Where did that last star go? That's what I gotta find out. You want the people saying one star. Gave me an infection or something in my piss hole. Bitches, you know what the fuck in here? Don't badmouth Loomé on me. You probably don't need Dior on your piss hole. You wouldn't think.

I'm just gonna see who got porn on September 29th. Stan Berenstain. Who? Stan Berenstain. The Berenstain Bears? Berenstain Bears. Oh, is that how you say it? Yeah, they were part

of the fucking, you know, the Mandela effect. The Berenstain Bears. I don't get it. I don't understand that. What are you saying, bud? Do you know who the Berenstain Bears. I don't get it. I don't understand that, what you're saying, bud. Do you know who the Berenstain Bears are? I do, I watch the show.

Books, aren't they? How do you spell Berenstein? B-E-R-E-N-S-T-E-I-N. Incorrect. It's S-T-A-I-N. Yep, that's true. Stain, like a stain. Which I do not believe that changed.

I always thought it was E-I-N on TV. Wow. No, it's A-I-N. Do you know what the Mandela effect is? Yeah, man. All these things that people are saying changed. Just like Jiffy Peanut Butter. We've talked about this before, man.

Yes. There was never Jiffy Peanut Butter. I know, but you know why we thought that? I figured it out. It's because it was Skippy Peanut Butter, we've talked about this before, man. Yes. There was never Jeffy Peanut Butter. I know, but you know why we thought that? I figured it out. It's because it was Skippy Peanut Butter. It was always my guess. Ah, Skippy Peanut Butter. Skippy.

Okay, so explain how fucking C-3PO has a silver leg. Don't fucking, don't understand that one, man. That's just mind-boggling to me. God, sucker never had a silver leg. Jerry Lee Lewis got bored today. Goodness gracious, great balls of ice. Jesus Christ. Cousin fucker.

What? He's the cousin fucker. He was banging his cousin. He had better nicknames. I mean, that's not even the worst part of the story. But you know what? I thought he was a lot older when that was happening. He was 17. He was 17. did he know he was cousin oh he didn't give a man oh no

he knew what was his cousin yes that crazy that fella how many close like first second right up there the first one man just like like how you doing his mama's niece yeah i think it was just like we have Christmas dinner together. Now we're fucking. Just take a piece. What the fuck was that? I guess I'm a loomay. It's taking forever for this thing to fucking load up, but loomay.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why? Look at this. It's basically saying how to put it on the peach. What the fuck? The loomay is good for all body parts. You're right. The peach.

The peach. The Peach. The, uh... Oh, the undercarriage. The undercarriage. It's balls. Not my balls. No, the Peach. Lady's Peach?

Yes. So you can't put it on all parts. I believe I told you that already. Oh, deodorant for all your parts, including private parts. I believe I told you that already. Oh, deodorant for all your parts, including private parts. I believe I said that. This shit's going to fucking be huge in jail. If we can get a fucking supply of this shit,

we can sell the thing. I don't know how to say this guy's name, but you're going to fucking... I don't know what you guys are going to think of this one. It just blew my mind. All right, I'm ready for it. John Brower Minnick, maybe? i don't know if i'm saying that right was born in 1941 the world's heaviest recorded man at 1400 pounds fuck a chance

how is that possible that's a that's an animal man that's like there's no fucking way man are you He must have been eating rocks his whole life. 1,400, like a big, what's that show that we've seen? My 600-pound fucking buddy, whatever it's called. Yeah. That's 600 big. Twice more. 1,400 is a lot, man.

How much does a cow fucking weigh? I don't know. That's at least a, that's at least a. But you know what? Like, say he was 1,400 pounds. He's got to walk. When he died and eventually just withered away... He did die at 42. He'd have a normal-sized skeleton in there somewhere.

Yeah, that's the fuck. How do you carry around all that weight? It's like it's a lot of weight. Well, you don't carry it around. He must not be able to walk. He was definitely one of those cocksuckers they pull out on a crane out of his trailer. Holy fuck, I can't even. That's crazy.

He wouldn't fit out any door. Yeah. You'd need a fucking... Poor fucker, man. And he's dead. Poor guy, man. To be able to not be able to stop eating. 1,400 pounds.

The whole of them, man. That's fucking... That's a lot of pounds. He might have been eating rocks, Ricky. He might have been. Big bowl of rocks for breakfast. Gold. Big plate of gold for lunch.

Outside, not the inside. Stop putting. Jesus Christ. Andrew Dice Clay. What are you, got somebody shoving Lume in themselves? They got douchebags coming up here. Douchebags. He used to be really funny.

I don't know what happened. Who? You know, his. Andrew Dice Clay. And his fucking comedy, bud. That know what happened. Who? You know, his... Andrew Dice Glass. And his fucking comedy, bud. That's what happened. He, like, he went out there and made his money, and then done.

People think this ain't cool anymore. Oh, he's so fucking just cruel to women and shit. The stuff he was saying. He's an actor now, isn't he? Well, yeah. Doesn't he act on shows and stuff? Dallas Green. Don't know.

Yes, you do. Fucking Alexis on Fire, City in Color. Oh, yeah, I do. It's fucking Green. Don't know. Yes, you do. Fucking Alexis on Fire, City in Color. Oh, yeah. Don't. I do not. It's fucking awesome. And Halsey.

Halsey. Halsey. Who's that? Whoa. So, Danielle, a lot of these people are loving this Lumet shit.

She put it on her crotch 24 hours ago. Yeah. Still smells... Who's smelling it, though? What flavor? Don't know. Because it comes in a...

There's a toasted coconut I'd like to try. I think I'd like to smell the coconut. Is it a perfume or...? No, no, it's... It's either it comes in a stick or cream or there might be a spray, I don't know. It's a good product. We're gonna try to get some.

Is it antiperspirant or just a deodorant? I believe it's just a deodorant. Gets rid of the stink. All right. Everybody try it. But it's got toasted... I want to smell like toasted coconuts. Everybody loves that.

You want to smell like toasted coconuts? No, coconut. Like the coconut that would fall on your head. Knock out. Alright, we gotta wrap this up. We're gonna go find out more about this Louie Macy. We can get some, get it into the prison. Maybe they should send us a starter pack, cause we talked about them. We should. Did you want to say anything nice about tomorrow?

What's tomorrow? What is tomorrow? It's a holiday. But the holiday's not till Monday. Okay. What day is today? Today is September the 29th. It's a loss of a bud. Tomorrow is Truth and Reconciliation Day. Oh, yeah!

Oh, fuck, yeah. All right. Cheers, everybody, to Truth and Reconciliation Day. Wear your orange. Take your day off. Eat your orange gummies. And relax. And actually think about what the fucking thing's about.

Yes. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. And then you can go to bed. to Truth or Reconciliation Day. Wear your orange. Take your day off. Eat your orange gummies. And relax.

And actually think about what the fucking thing's about. Yes. Yes. Fucking Canada. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.