Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 19 - Muscle Chips

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

It's September the 3-0 already, fuckers - the Boys are zoned out and don't know if it's Jantember or Novaugust! Bubbles is so hungry he could eat a wheel of cheese, or some sexy Muscle Chips. But f**k off with the NyQuil chicken! Also: The Boys explain why September 30 is a very important day in Canada.

See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to swearnet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys Swearnet app. Hey, what's going on everybody? Before we get into the Park After Dark here and doing, you know, funny stuff, because today's not a funny day. It's September 30th, so we just wanted to acknowledge it. It's the national day for truth and reconciliation. Yeah. Okay? Not funny at all.

No. And one of the words is pretty big. I don't really know what it means, but I know what this is all about, and it's fucked. It's very fucked. It's very fucked, so we just wanted to make sure everybody knows what today is and, you know, take the time today to acknowledge it and learn about it. Yes. And make sure it never happens again.

Ever again. You can't. It's fucked. Horrible. Horrible. You okay, bubs? Huh? You okay? I don't know.

Come back down to the planet, man. You're just fucking staring and just acting weird. What was I doing? You were just zoning out, man. You've been zoning out for ten minutes. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? No, we're trying to do the park after dark thing. Where? Right in the fucking cameras in front of your butts.

Ricky, you gotta stop giving them these fucking... I thought you said it was happening... Everything you make has edibles in it. Not everything. Not eggs. You said we had a couple hours, didn't you? That was a couple hours ago. That was a couple hours ago. Welcome to the park after dark. It's September the three zero. Last day, didn't you? That was a couple of hours ago. Welcome to the Pack After Dark.

It's September the 3-0. Last day, isn't it? There's 31 days in September. I have no idea. 60 days has October, November, January, and... No. What the fuck? 60 days?

I don't know, man. What is it? There's not 60 days in any of the months, Ricky. You have to have two 30s combined. It's 30. We're done. This is it. Fuck off to September. So you'd have to have, like, a... So tomorrow's fucking October.

Tomorrow is October. It's getting close to Halloween. If you were gonna have 60 days, you'd have to have, like, a... like, Jan-Tember. Combine like a... like Jan-Tember. Combine two of them. Jan-Tember? Jan-Tember.

Oh. Combine two 30s and make a 60. So you know what we should do? We should have six months of the year. Just combine all of them. Six long months. Combine them. What would they be?

April? Okay, so we got September, October, right? Yeah. November, December would be? Janbruary. Jalaugust. What would November, December be? It's the same.

It is the same. So you combine it with a different one. Maybe three months. November, December, January. Novaugust. Jesus Christ, January. Nov-August. Jesus Christ, bud. This is fucked. I can't talk about this anymore, man.

February. February. Okay. Drugs are a wonderful thing. They are a wonderful thing, man. You know, I was reading this thing, the ancient Persian Empire, you know. The cats? No, just the Persian people. Oh, I thought the Persians were cats.

There is. There's a people, too? Yes. There is a people. There's a country, Ricky. There's a whole place. Persia? Anyway, back then, these guys would sit around and debate ideas.

What are good ones and good bad ones? First they'd debate when they're sober. Then they'd get as drunk as fuck and debate them when they're drunk. I bet there's fistfights. There probably was. I'm just saying. I like a good debate. But drunk and sober.

That's the way to do it, I think. That's the way politicians should do it these days. They should fucking sit around sober and they get wasted. Ah, that was fucking wasted getting fucking fistfights. Do you like a good debate? Politicians should do it these days. They should fucking sit around sober and they get wasted and say, ah, that was fucking wasted. Getting fucking fistfights. Do you like a good debate? I like one when I'm drunk.

No, you don't. Yes, I fucking do. No, you don't. I do. You do not like a good debate. Stop arguing, guys. We're debating. But this is sober debate.

We got to now get drunk. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's not. It's high debate. Okay, but I'm saying we got to get drunk now get drunk. No, it's not. What about high? It's not. It's high debate. Okay, but I'm saying we gotta get drunk now. Okay. I'm fine with that.

Fine. We'll just talk about it later on. Another couple hours, we'll be drunk, and then we'll have a debate. Couple hours to get drunk? I don't need a couple hours. I need a couple minutes. Well, I'm gonna need a of hours, maybe two or three.

How about I chug that? Don't chug it. You'll end up shitting yourself, Pops. No. Nothing in the tank, baby. There's nothing in the tank. Were you on some kind of a fast? No. You must have food in your tank.

No, I don't. I haven't eaten since yesterday morning. You need some food, man? Do you have some? No, I don't. I haven't eaten since yesterday morning. You need some food, man? Yeah, but, Pops, how long is it? Do you have some? No, but we could order some. Let's do it. Yeah, but when you say in your tank, that means your intestines, really, and your stomach, right?

And your shitter. So you got a lo- that's a- what is it, a mile or something of intestine? A mile? I don't know what the fuck it is, a kilometer? You got a mile of in- You might, actually, because you're like the Hulk. Oh, Bob, shut up. But I'm just saying, you got lots in your tank.

There's no way that that's all going through. No, that's not the way I work. I'm just like a... How many BMs do you have a day? BMs? Yeah. How many times do you shit a day, Bob? I'm trying to be fucking not gross here.

It depends. Okay. It depends. Okay. It depends, obviously. If you eat a fucking wheel of cheese, that's different than eating a fucking Taco Bell. Cheese is gonna bind you up? Yes. Eat a wheel of cheese sometime, Ricky. See what happens.

How many times have you had a wheel of cheese? I've eaten many wheels of cheese. What, like a big wheel? A wheel! Like that. you had a wheel of cheese? I've eaten many wheels of cheese. What, like a big wheel? A wheel! Like that. That's a lot of cheese, man. That's a lot of cheese, man. I've eaten a wheel of cheese.

That would stop things moving, wouldn't it? Yes, that's what I'm saying. Your B-hams depend on what you're eating. Taco Bell? Right through. Right through. But sometimes you puke it up. It's like an explosion when you eat that shit. A pukaino.

It's not good for you, man. It's a pukaino. Holy fuckpuffs. We're supposed to do a pissa. A what? Public service announcement. A pissa. PSA.

Yeah. For what? You gotta stop using NyQuil to marinate your chicken. Public service announcement. A pisser. PSA. Yeah. For what? You gotta stop using NyQuil to marinate your chicken. Who the fuck does that anyway? Apparently it's bad. Who wanted to find out? The FDA put out a warrant that says don't use NyQuil as a chicken marinade.

It's some fucking social media challenge with a bunch of idiots. And apparently when you boil it or cook it up, it gets more potent and it can really fuck you over, and the fumes can make you sick, I guess. Well, yeah. So what do you eat? You get wasted from eating chicken, this beast. I don't know what the fuck you eat. You'd probably have a long winter's nap, wouldn't you?

Isn't something like that sizzle stuff, is that night- Night- Night-quel is sleep medicine. Yeah. Yeah, but aren't, isn't there like a fucking drink people are making with NyQuil? Sizzurp? Sizzurp. Sizzurp. That's codeine?

That's codeine, oh, okay. So fucking, why would, why? Why are you doing it? Why are you putting? Because people on TikTok are fucked. Anything can become a challenge, that's why. It's mostly, what I was reading, I guess part of the problem is it's these fucking teenagers

and their goddamn brains aren't fully developed, so they're sort of dumb. Yeah. They can't rationalize shit. What the fuck is wrong with teens? What the fuck is wrong with teens these days? Don't be cooking chicken with NyQuil. Fuck.

What would possess you? Use barbecue sauce or something. Marinate your fucking chicken in cold medicine. Use beer. You want to, like, throw it in some beer. That's a better... Ricky's one of the most fucked up people I've ever known. He would never cook chicken in NyQuil.

Although, I am curious. I know, but you wouldn't do that, Ricky. You wouldn't be that fucking stupid. I might get Jacob to try it just to see what happens. Well, I never said you wouldn't get Jacob. I bet you he would use that other codeine, liquid codeine, in your chicken, wouldn't you? I might. Don't do that, all right?

Just don't. I don't remember cold medicine tasting very good anyway. No, Boclis. Why would you want your chicken to taste like that? Boclis. You used to call it Foclis, remember? Yeah. It tastes like shit, but it supposedly works.

Yeah. Isn't that the commercial? Tastes like fuck, but it works. That's buckley's. No, that wasn't the commercial, Rick. It should be. Tastes like fuck. Now, if it was the commercial, I would buy that product immediately.

Holy fuck, man. I don't know what's wrong. There's this Indian guy, Indian man. He's been keeping his right arm raised for over ten years. Yeah, he was on the show with the Ricky Gervais show. An idiot abroad. Yes, his arm's up like this for... For God.

So you just ask him questions all the time? No, no, no. He just wants to be noticed by God, so he keeps his right arm up. And it's all weaseled. It's stuck there. It's stuck, but it's all weaseled. It's only about that big around. And his hand's all fucking jerked.

There'd be no blood in it. Exactly. Yeah, it weaseled right down to nothing. He's got her up like that, and he's just sitting there. The Ricky Gervais show, where they send Carl around the world, the idiot abroad. He goes and sees him. And he's just sitting there. The Ricky Gervais show where they send Carl around the world, in and out abroad. He goes and

sees him. And he's sitting there like this. He also sees a guy that rolls his wiener up on a stick. What? He does? Rolls what wiener? His wiener. He's got it rolled on a stick and he's rolling it right up tight like a cinnamon roll. How long is his wiener?

Well, it's stretched out from rolling it on the stick. So it works. Why? Something to do, showing his wiener to God or something. It's like one of those Twizzly straws. It's just... Spiral. Spiral piss.

How would you bang with one of those things? Just keep the stick in, I guess. You'd have to find the right shape of vagina. No, you'd have to be on a turnstile. Maybe like a corkscrew. No, you'd have to be on a turnstile. Maybe like a corkscrew. Yeah, you'd have to be on a spinning table. Get it? Oh, that's fucked.

Yeah, there was a guy, and there's another fucked up guy. Tough to measure yourself as well. Yeah, why would you want to do that? You're fucked in the head if you wrap it. There was one more fucked guy. What was he doing? There was a guy with his wiener. Maybe you...

The arm and the wiener. The arm guy was there, and there was a wiener guy with the stick. And, oh, there was another guy who he looked, you know, his face was like out like this. Maybe he was the wiener guy. Yeah, well, he was like a... He was like a sideshow elephant man.

The shaped elephant man. The shape shifter? No, he just had some problems. Shape shifter. What the fuck you talking about, Ricky? I've heard of shape shifters. Oh, that poor, I remember seeing that poor fucking guy, eh? Yeah.

Something to do with his face. It was really something. You know who that guy needs to see? That pimple pop popper chick. She couldn't do anything for him. How do you know, man? I don't get that show anyway. I've never watched it.

I don't know how people could sit there. Dr. Pimple Pop. Yeah, you like that show, don't you? She doesn't actually. She's taking out cysts most of the time. I know I could do it now just from watching it. It looks like mashed potatoes in some of them. It's just like a big bowl of...

Yes, and it's got a stink to it. It's pus, isn't it? Yes. Look! But I've watched so many episodes, if anybody here gets a fucking cyst now, I can take it out. Well, that's good to know. Thanks, man.

I could easily take it out with... I'd go by... I wouldn't charge you, but... Apparently Donnie's got a gripping giant cyst on his ass. You gonna deal with it? Yeah, would you deal with Donnie's cyst? No, not Donnie's ass, cyst. Why not? I'm telling him. No, no.

He's coming to you, man. I'm telling you, man. I would do it for you guys. I wouldn't do it for... Bubble pimple popper. Do it for Randy. No. What if his boiler was just one big fucking massive... It could be. It may not even be a gut.

It might just be a great big fucking cyst. No, Ricky. No, you would have popped it. I think if you squeezed out a bunch of weird shit... Yeah, you would have popped it, man. All the wrestling you've done with him over the years. Oh, Julian, you got to be careful on the site you use. Grinder?

What, my... Grinder. Yeah, apparently this... What the fuck is Grinder? Are you on Grinder? I don't even know what Grinder? What? Grinder. Yeah, apparently this... The fuck is Grinder? Are you on Grinder? I don't even know what Grinder is. I thought that was a dating app you were using. Dating app?

I'm not using a fucking dating app. It's like the other one. What's the other one where you swipe? Tinder. It's like Tinder, but for fellas. Fellas meeting fellas. Fellas only. No, I'm not on that one.

Well, this Michigan man, he fucking met this younger dude on there and killed him. Then he hung him up and ate his testicles. Jeffrey Dahmer style. Oh, so he was a Dahmer? Dahmer-esque. Weird one. Did you guys watch Dahmer yet? No, is it fucked?

The new series? No. Is it gonna cause people to do this kind of shit though? I hope not. Copycats? It's a great series. I heard it's hard to get through though, is it? It's pretty fucked.

I've heard mixed reviews. No, it's good. Okay. The guy that plays him is the guy, you know, from American Horror Story? You know that series? No. You don't know that show? Yeah, yeah, that's...

What's-Her-Face is in it. What's-Her-Face? Good actress. What's her name? Jessica Lange. Yeah. She is in it. But the guy, Evan Peters, he looks just like Dahmer.

You know, he was drilling people's skulls and pouring acid in, eh? He wasn't quite right. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because they used to do that with fucking animals. Well, he was doing it to people. He would drill a fucking hole and then put fucking acid in there and trying to create zombies.

And would they still be alive? Yes. Wow, that's fucked up. He was trying to turn them into sex zombies so that he could... A sex zombie. Yes. He was trying to turn them into the sex zombies so that he could- A sex zombie? Yes. He wanted to have complete control over their mind,

but keep them alive so that he could bang them. That's fucked up, man. You know, zombie people. But it didn't work, he kept killing them, as you would if you poured acid on their brain. Yeah, you wouldn't think that's going to go over well with the brain. No. No, that would not be good for the brain.

What a fucking way to go. Well, I found a good little job that you could start, Ricky. This guy... Perfect. This guy is making a fortune. He's from... He's some Spanish dude. Anyway, he makes a living admitting to other people's driving offenses for a fee.

So someone fucks up, they're speeding or something, he's like, hey, that was me. How's that work? For some reason, he takes, I don't know. And they pay him? They pay him. It goes on his driving record, and he's making a fucking fortune. Like D.O.S. and shit? All that.

Whatever. He doesn't care. I don't know how he's getting away with it, but he is. It's a weird one. That's weird because they would take his license after the first... I don't know if it's take your license away shit, but it's... I don't know what the fuck it is. I got to read it.

It sounds like a really fucked up story you found there. It's true, though, man. I'm going to look into it, but you could probably do it. Because you don't give a shit about that stuff. I was reading about this woman. Think about how fucked this is. She's taking a nap with her little chihuahua. The chihuahua's sick.

And the thing exploded shit in her mouth. Hey. Fuck. Is that the whole story? Is that it? No. Shit in her mouth. She was trying to, she started throwing up trying to,

she couldn't get the taste out of her mouth. Anyway, whatever illness the dog has, some kind of infection in its intestines. The woman got it. She had to go to the fucking hospital. She had explosive diarrhea. Kidneys shrank to half their size. It was just fucked.

But just thinking about a dog shitting in your mouth is just blech. Did she end up shitting in like anybody, like her husband's mouth or anything by accident? No, I don't think. She just got hospitalized. Would have been better if, you know, the dog shit in her mouth by accident and then she shit in her husband's mouth by accident. Why would she do that?

Well, if she, the same way the dog did, just exploded. So they fell asleep at 69 and... Fuck. All right, if you're going to do this driving thing, you've got to move to another country. This guy was from Armenia, and then he came over to Spain or something,

and he was fucking around that way. So you've got to maybe move to Denmark. I'm not moving to another country, man. Just for a little while, just to make like 50, 60 grand that he can move back. 50 or 60 grand he made? Yes, man. Like, people like talking on their cell phones. Like, everything. Speed and tickets.

But if you get the fucking ticket, how do you get it? I don't know, man. He's got a way of doing it. I gotta, he's got a whole... You need to find out more about it. I gotta watch this video. But he's making some serious cash. The whole thing sounds a little fucking fishy to me.

That's the point system, man. It's different than it is here. You should... You should take people's penalties at the gym, like for not wiping off the seats and stuff. That was me. I'll take that. Twenty bucks. Bubs, that's so fucked. Gym infractions. Yeah, but you don't get kicked out, man.

You just get like, clean your fucking shit off. You should fucking start, you know what you could do, is you could wear people's eye watches or their Fitbits, have like five on each arm, and then give them to the people and they can be like, yeah, I did fucking crazy work today. Look at the workout I did. Why? Why would that?

Here's your watch back. Look at this, I benched 500 pounds. You did a great workout today. Here's your watch back. Like, what doesn't, why? Well, they might show it to their wives and might turn them on. Oh, for their wives or? Hey, baby.

Hey, look, honey, I benched 500 pounds their wives and might turn them on. Oh, for their wives or... Hey, baby. Hey, look, honey, I benched 500 pounds today. Look at that, honey. 400 fucking girls. You guys are so fucked, man. Julian Fitbit, they call him. Julian Fitbit. Julian standing out in front of the gym. I'll give you 10 bucks a day to wear my Fitbit.

Oh, my God. I like that idea. Man who married 53 women in 43 years was looking for stability. That's a headline. No, he was not. No, man. 53 women? He's either insane or he's a gold digger. A gold digger?

Could be. How much money would you be spending on 53 wives? Well, if you married above your income. Yeah, but Ricky. It's a good idea, actually. He'd be constantly in court. So that would cost a lot. Yeah, if you get them to pay for it.

Did you guys see the MMA fighting? They fight in a car? Yes, I saw something on TSN or something. Well, I got another one out of Russia where you're like on this fucking podium thing, like your boat to air missile. They got your hand taped up, and then the other hand's loose to fight.

Oh, I've watched it. And you're chained to the fucking table. I've watched it. You just throw haymakers. That's something else. You wait for's loose to fight. Oh, I've watched it. And you're chained to the fucking table. I've watched it. You just throw haymakers. That's something else. You wait for a buddy to commit, you gotta time it. So you're both standing there, and, you know, you're trying to hit the guy,

but the other guy, you're waiting for him to commit and lean in far enough, and then you gotta time it. The counterpunch. Oh, man. It's very strategic. Is there any money in that kind of thing? Oh, I don't know. The caroing seemed fucked to me. There's two dudes, each in the front seat

with their seatbelts on. Then when they say go, you gotta take your seatbelt off and just fucking get at it. In the car. In the car. That'd be exhausting. Is it running? I don't think.

Is the gear shift still there? It's a convertible. Oh, yeah, everything's there, man. Oh, it's a convertible. And they've got the ladies doing it. Like, it's crazy. They should do it in an enclosed car, like a small one. Like a smart car.

Or a submarine. A submarine. Rick. That'd be harder to do, though, Ricky. There's not a lot of submarines. They're banging your head, man. They're low, aren't they? Submarines aren't.

You don't bang your head in a fucking submarine. Yeah, when you go through the fucking doors, they're not, we've been on a boat before. Same kind of deal, isn't it? Oh, yeah, maybe going through the door, but you don't bang your head on the ceiling. No, I'm talking door bumps. Oh, yeah, this is something you can do.

A man, a wanted criminal, is arrested after walking into a police station to apply for a job. He's been wanted for, like, seven years. He's done that? I know, but it's just dumb. It is pretty dumb. I would say drugs were involved, maybe. Maybe some liquor.

Oh, okay, this is a story I want to talk about. I don't know if everybody out there knows, but we got potato chips coming out soon. These guys have taken it up a notch up in Lithuania. They got this chip coming out. And try to guess what the flavor of the chips are. Piss. Nope.

Sex. Close. Really. Sex. Close. Really? Yep. Okay, they've got flavors like mussels and white wine. Oh, you like those. And bloody seafood thing. Oh, okay. And the Bloody Mary cocktail flavors,

but they got one flavor that people are just fucking buying like crazy. Blood. Pussy flavored chips. Oh, Pussy-flavored chips. Oh, God. I swear to fuck. Jesus, Murphy. They're called Chaz chips,

and right there, they've got a chick in the front. See, I can think of about five different ways that would... But what the fuck? What are the actual chips called? Chaz. But what's the flavor actually?

Pussy flavor. Pussy flavor. Pussy flavor. And it's on the fucking shelves, man. Limited edition. Jesus Murphy. I think it's like the clean version. Well, I don't know. What were you Googling to find muscle-flavored chips?

It's not muscle-flavored chips. Well, they have muscle flavor, but it's the pussy flavor. But what were you Googling to find pussy flavored chips? I was, it just popped up. Anyway, foods that taste like vagina. I had a panel of women that would, they had this like fucking spice scientist and they were just like, okay, how does this taste?

And they were like, yeah, that's what it tastes like. Jesus, Murphy. Don't know, it's not something I would do, but I bet you they're gonna make some money. We don't know. It's not something I would do, but I bet you they're going to make some money. We don't have any crazy flavors like that. No. We've got the standards. Maybe we should. No. That's what I was thinking.

No, boys. We're not doing anything. Why don't we have meat barricade? We could do muscle-flavored chips. Take a sample of you. We're not doing that. Big picture in the front of the bag with you in no shirt on. Yeah. Muscle chips.

Anyway. Gluten free. Protein in every bite. I think we should talk to the people that are doing our chips and just sell them as like a novelty kind of thing maybe. No way. Get somewhere that tours places like Peggy's Cove or something. No. Not doing it.

You know what I mean? You could put one out. They were covered in protein powder. Muscle chips. That might be a good idea, actually. Muscle chips. Protein chips. Yeah. Muscle chips.

Muscle... Okay, we gotta delete this part because we might actually do this. That's a good idea. Muscle chips. Julian's protein powder muscle chips. You gotta get a patent on those things. 400 grams of protein in each bag. But the protein powder's like the dusting.

It would work. It would work. It could, yes. I don't know if it tastes very good, but. One kilo of protein in every bag. Oh, kilo. That's a lot, Pops. That's a ton. Andups. That's a ton.

And then you got this other dude. The smallest vineyard produces 29 bottles of wine a year, but you don't drink it. 29 bottles of wine a year. 29 bottles of wine. What do you do with it? You don't. It's art. This guy's like going, I produce 29 bottles.

Buy one for five grand. That's how much a bottle is. And you put it up in your mantle mantle and you just talk about it. Why 29? It's a weird number. 29 bottles of wine for the year, 29 bottles of wine. You take one down, put it on your mantle. Don't drink my wine this year.

Because it's art. So it could taste like complete shit. Doesn't matter what it tastes like. Doesn't matter because it's art, Ricky. And this guy makes all this wine. If you let them on release, it wouldn't taste very't matter because it's art, Ricky. And this guy makes all this wine. If you left them on a lease, it wouldn't taste very good either. It's on his roof, this little fucking, his little setup.

And he says it's the fucking pollutants in the air and birds shitting on them and all this other shit. You can do anything for art, Julian. I know. Guy threw a banana peel in an art gallery and people were fucking taking pictures of it. Oh, very provocative. You know what he says? He says you take like a bicycle wheel, right, and you put it over in the corner in your living room.

He's like, it's art. But you put it in like a bike shop, it's not art. It's just a fucking wheel. That's right. I like to fucking fight that guy. So what do I, man? You take an old fucking, that's why I've been saying shopping carts are things that I could be, you know,

like an old shopping cart that's been hit by a train 16 times, rusted to fact, it's down the thing. It looks like an old piece of shit. You put that in an art gallery in New York, guess what? Some lights on it, maybe? Nah, yeah, you might want to light it, but some nice lighting. What would you call it? I don't know.

Ricky, we'd have to think about it, but you could sell it for maybe a million dollars. So why don't we open up an art studio? I could start selling bottles of rum that we can make ourselves. No, I'm gonna open my own art studio. I came up with the idea. I've been talking about opening this art gallery for years. No.

I'm gonna get shopping carts on the wall. He's not right in the head. Who's not? That fucking guy. Well, he's making a ton of money, man. It's a scam. Okay, 29 times 5.

Somebody must have broken the rule and drank the fucking wine. He's making 150 grand off his shit a year. He might be putting fucking Kool-Aid in there. That's what I mean.

Someone has to break the rule. You know what we gotta do? Come up with five grand and buy one of theseAid in there. That's what I mean. Someone has to break the rule. You know what we've got to do? Come up with five grand and buy one of these bottles and drink it and just tell everybody it tastes like shit.

Just to ruin his life? Just to ruin his life because it's a great idea. Here's what happened. He started making wine. It tastes like shit. So he's like, no, this wine,

you're not supposed to drink it. It's art. It's art. And then people are buying five grand. It's the shittiest fucking wine in the world. Yeah. It could be old Kool-Aid wine. Fucking scam.

We were going to put wine out before, remember? Yep. What was it called? Wasn't it called Fock? P-H something? No, it was German. Fuck off. Oh, yeah, that's what it was.

F-A-U-K-H-U-F with two dots over it. We should still do it. Anybody interested in getting born in September the three zero? Buddy Rich, do you know him? Yes, Ricky, he's a drummer. Yes, he was. For who? Buddy Rich was one of the greatest big band drummers of all time.

Truman Capote. Yeah. He was a different person. Yes, he was a bizarre fella. Gus Dudgeon? Gus Dudgeon, old Gossy D. Oh, yeah. Old Gossy D's birthday.

Dewey Martin? Dewey Martin. Dewey Martin, who the fuck's that? Dean's little nephew. You know, the little fucking dancer. Dancer? Wasn't it? Dewey Martin?

Dewey Martin. Nay, nay. What's his name? Ricky... Ricky... Ricky Mertens. Ricky Mertens, yes. Was he brother of Dewey's? He might have been. Dewey's older brother. Oh, no.

Dewey Mertens was a Canadian rock drummer at Buffalo Springfield, I guess. Oh, Dewey Mertens. I'm surprised you didn't know that, bubs. I didn't know that. Mark Bolan, T-Rex. Yes, T-Rex. Barry Williams, played Greg on the Brady Bunch. Darn man.

Greg on the Brady... Greg, yeah, he was the oldest one. Greg was the old guy, wasn't he? Yeah. What was the father's name? He was banging Marshall, wasn't he? He wasn't banging her, was he? Yes, he was.

On the show? It was his sister. Oh, maybe that was... No, that was... Fran Drescher. Drescher? Fran Drescher. She's got that annoying talking thing.

Bobby Flackman. Yeah. Oh, God. The hostess with the mostest, Bobby Flackman. God, there's a lot of people that I don't have a fucking clue. I don't know almost any people you mentioned today, man. Billy Tits, his birthday today, too. How old is he?

Well, he would have been 116. T-Pain. T-Pain. Rapper. Yeah. He's not called T-Pain anymore. Somebody gave him some Advil. Nice one, Pops.

Okey-dokey. You know what? There's another story here. This is family. They're, uh, somebody died in their family. Anyway. Wow. No, listen.

They brought him to the hospital. He was sick. This the guy before he died? This dude. Yeah, he was like 30-something. And then, uh. They waited too long. No, he got COVID, and then he died.

But then they're like, someone hooked up something to his finger, and they're like, no, he's got a pulse. So they took the poor fucker home, who was dead, and they kept him there for a year in bed. Dead. Bathing the motherfucker three times a day, dressed him. No, he couldn't have been dead. They had oxygen. He was dead.

Well, how the fuck? Well, he would have rotted. Yeah. He was rotting. This is what I'm trying to say. The guy had his skin turned to leather, and then they kept calling up his work saying, no, he's still

in a coma. He's not coming in. So after a year and a half... Oh, so they just wanted his paycheck. No, they thought he was fucking alive. He was in a coma. Wow, that's fucked. So anyway, they came in to check it out, and they're like, dude, his fucking eyeballs are sunken in, and he's got a leather fucking texture.

Wouldn't he be, like, covered in maggots and shit? He was like a mummy. Wow. No, they washed the maggots and shit. They kept them clean. They kept them clean as a whistle. Oxygen hooked up to him. Did they not notice the oxygen wasn't going into him?

They didn't have a fucking clue. Jesus, he must have been just stinking. He was stinking pretty bad at that point. Anyway, that's it. We're going to end this podcast. Ended on a fucking sour note of a dead person in a house for a year. Oh, leather tits.

Leather tits. You guys like my tablecloth? It was kind of nice, actually. Thanks. It's little raccoons. Yep. Right on. All right. Thank you for tuning in and we may see you next week or we may not.

See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to swearnet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys Swearnet app.