Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 19 - Sweet In A Dumb Way

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

Trinity and Jacob take time out from their f**ked work schedule to hang out in the trailer! Trinity reveals her greasiest OnlyFans request, and Jacob tries to get some f**kin' rest. Also: The world's most delicious animals, and why you shouldn't jam a USB cable in your cock!

You're all over the fucking place. You're scattered. I know. I think it's like eating corn. Ricky, what the fuck did we ingest? It's not like you got to... No, it's nothing like eating corn. You can't teach a new dog old tricks, bud. I'm trying to teach him, man. He's fucking... This is the dumbest example of fucking space invaders playing I've ever seen in my life. You start from one end.

You see how they go and they go down? It's time to go to one end. But then the other side's going to come down and get me. No, but you fucking start on one side, Jacob. How fucking dumb are you? That's what I'm saying. But then the other side won't have any guys killed and they're going to get on the other No, but you flip-flop.

You go from there, you go over there. If you ever did get divorced, I would get it. Don't go to the Senate. Forget about it. And I would support it. He doesn't know how to fucking play Space Invaders. He's sweet in a dumb way, is that what you're gonna say? The game's been around for fucking, what, 40 years? He tries. He tries, though.

He tries, but nothing ever good happens. I mean, it's like the Jacob way of doing things, though. Yeah, it works. Yeah, see, he did it. Okay, let's see if you get past this fucking level. Looks like Jacob might outsmart the Julian. Well, welcome to the Parks After the Darks.

Got my daughter here today and her dumb fucking husband. Real dumb. It's great to see you. Trent, he's fucking dumb. I wish Mo was here, too, but the fucker's in school. I don't know why he's wasting his time, but. Ricky, he's a child. He needs to go to school.

He could learn more off a fucking calculator than probably in school these days. What did you learn to do on a calculator? Like turn it upside down and spell boobies? I had boobless, wasn't it? No, maybe. Boobs. No, I think it was boobies. Yeah, I remember you figuring that one out

for the first time, Rick. You thought it was the greatest fucking thing in the world. Boobies on the calculator. Made a lot of people laugh. No, they're laughing at you because everybody was doing it. Made a lot of people horny, too.

513-8008. Is that it? Boobies. Special fucking numbers there, bubs. Yeah. 513-8008. So what in the fuck is this that I'm hearing? That you might be trying to buy a house? Yeah, well...

You can't leave the park, man. Well, we need to... Mo needs a house to live in, right? I mean, it would be nice to... Waste of money. And they're expensive. How are you affording that? Well, I'm doing some lingerie modeling

and some... I'm playing video games and taking pictures, basically. So I work... You know, it's a lot of work. What do you mean you're the model in lingerie? Yeah, Trim, what the...

What are you talking about lingerie modeling? Don't you guys get on to whatever she's doing. Oh, as if I'm gonna go on the fucking... see her lingerie modeling. You might.

Why would I? No, I'd rather look at him wearing lingerie. Thanks, bubs. I feel like, you know, you can rock a bra pretty well. I mean, not rock a bra. Oh, yes, you could. No, I couldn't. Yes, you could.

I am not wearing a goddamn bra. Harness those big muscular tete's. Bubs. Bra on the tongue. Fuck off, chipper. All right, so what's going on with this thing? You're doing, you're lingerie modeling. How?

What are you doing? What do you mean? There's a site on the internet. It's called OnlyFans. Okay, I've heard of it. And I basically just put pictures of myself and then people pay me. Not dirty so, right? No, not dirty, dirty ones, no.

Not nudies. Not nudies, no. That's good. Good for you. That's better. What about almost nude? Like, see, through the bra Not nudies. Not nudies, no. That's good. Good for you. That's better. What about almost nude? Like, see through the bra kind of thing? No.

No? No. No, like, no titties or... Why are you so fucking interested? I just don't... I don't want to see it, man. I don't want her, like, getting the, you know, nips up and stuff. He just cares about me, you know?

He wants the best for me. Yeah, me too. Maybe you should get OnlyFans payouts. I think it's smart that you're doing it. If you're making money, that's great. I'm glad that you're not doing the extra dirty stuff, because I don't think I'd approve that. Because there's a lot of greasy, fucking creepy dudes out there.

There are. Jacob's not on there, is he? Do people send you weird requests? Yes. Yeah, I do get some weird requests. What was the weirdest one? He told me that he's not on there, but, you know. He's not on there.

Okay, what kind of weird requests are you getting? I once had a guy ask me if he could send me his leather jacket and I could sit and play video games in it and fart in it and then send it back to him. All right, do you still have this motherfucker's email? If you get shit like that, you send it to us, all right? Okay. Why? Because you're going to fart on a jacket and send it to him, right? No, I'm not going to kick the fuck out of the guy.

That's creepy shit. It's not that bad. Ricky, come on. That's not... It's no, man. You don't send that to women. But what if he's going to pay a thousand bucks? Then you could fart on the jacket.

Well, maybe then I can talk him. If it's about money, maybe we can work something out. I mean, you would be great at farting on jackets. Maybe I should become your... What? You would be great at farting on jackets. Maybe I should become your... You would be great at farting on jackets. I'm not going to fart on... Why would I do that? For a thousand bucks.

Why are people getting off on that shit? Because everybody has a different smell. And that turns people on, Ricky. People want to know what you smell like. No, man. I'm not doing that. But if there's an opportunity to make more money, maybe I can help you out. We'll talk about that later.

Yeah, be my manager, maybe. Fuck yeah. A friend manager. There used to be a band, didn't there? That played Legion? Tommy and the Jacket Ferders or something like that? Tommy and the Jacket Ferders? Tommy and the Fert Jackets.

Wasn't that a band? Alright, you gotta, okay, why, why, why is this a fetish? Why are people getting off on furting on jackets? I don't know because people are fucked. Maybe they get bored of the regular stuff. So do they like, inhale? But I can't even imagine, like do you think the smell stays on the jacket when you're shipping it back to them? It doesn't matter, don't send them off. If you put it in a giant Ziploc, it would.

No, no, don't send the jacket off unless there's some kind of money coming in. Well, yeah, he would have paid me. The money would have to go into escrow, and then you send out the fart cap. Which I will be the escrow. It goes into my account, and then I'll diffy it out. But I've got to talk to the skunks. But, I mean, how does he even know it's your farts? He wouldn't know.

Good point. You could just have a dog farting on it all day. And how can you work up to being gassy? We've got to talk to the skates. But I mean, how does he even know it's your farts? He wouldn't know. Good point. You could just have a dog farting on it all day. And how can you work up to being gassy? We got to figure that one out. But maybe he's done it with a lot of people and he gets a lot of fart jackets and he knows the different smells. Maybe he knows what a dog's fart smells like. You know what? I think this guy that farts in jackets needs to lose some teeth to tell you the truth.

This is just too fucking weird. All right. So it's going good then. Yeah. It's going great. I'm working hard though. I mean, you know, Jacob's working too. Jacob!

What kind of shit are you doing these days? How many jobs do you have, Jacob? Just picked up a fifth. Fifth, okay. Lost a few during COVID, but almost got them all back. Five jobs! How many hours a day are you working? Fuck, man.

I try to keep it, like, no more than 21, but... 21? Okay. Why aren't you working right now? That's good, man. Ricky. He works 21 hours a day. My daughter's supporting the fucking family. I mean, I work really hard.

Great man you got. Taking pictures and playing video games all day is a lot of effort. He's working five jobs. 21 hours a day. How many are you working? That's a lot. I've got some things on the go. So you get paid to play video games?

How do I get in on that now? Yeah, it's a... See, I got that on the go. Yeah, so it's a website called Twitch, and you sign up and you go online. Oh, we're supposed to get on the Twitch. Yeah. I heard you guys talking about it the other day. We're supposed to get on there.

Weren't they going to send us a, you know, a machine? Twitching machine? All right, here's the important question. Can you make some dough on Twitch? Yeah. Like good dough? Yeah, like I'm paying my bills with it right now. Yeah, I sit down and play video games.

All right, I'm getting in on this. Yeah, it's great. You don't have to fart on anyone on Twitch? No, no, you don't have to fart on anyone. Well, I haven't had to yet, I guess. You can if you want. And you don't. You don't.

Yeah, no, I don't. You could start up a fart Twitch. Where people just watch you play video games and check yourself. What was that, Jenka? Can you smoke dope on Twitch? You can actually, as long as it's legal where you are. So for us, yeah, not a problem. can, actually, as long as it's legal where you are.

So for us, yeah, not a problem. You know what? I just figured it out. It may not have been an anal fart he was looking for. Oh, fuck, Ricky. Come on. Don't even get that into words. No, you know what? We shouldn't talk about that.

No, man. I don't want to think about that. You just did talk. That is a whole, that's another level, okay? That's going to take a lot of negotiating and a lot of money to get that going. Yeah, it's not happening. And I don't know if you can perform like that with one of those, but. It usually takes a little bit of work.

Yeah, we can talk about it. Boys. Jesus, Murphy. There's a price for everything these days, bubs. I don't like it. Not for that. You can be my manager, but... We can shift gears for a second.

There was a UK teen hospitalized after a USB cord got stuck in his penis. Oh, baby. What the fuck? And this is a weird... Which end? Here's what he claimed. The USB-A or the USB-C or the micro? He wasn't trying to charge his cock, I don't think.

Because what he said was he was trying to measure it. Now, this is a weird way to measure your penis. Inside the piss hole? Yeah. Yeah, he wasn't trying to measure anything. He was trying to electrify his knob. You know, like a ruler or a measuring tape would be quite easy. Yeah.

Like, you'd have to measure the length of the USB cord. Well, I don't think he's going to... He's not going to go square, I don't think. There's a big difference between USB-C, USB-micro, USB-A. So maybe he stuck them all in until like a one-day stop. I don't know, but he had to have emergency surgery to remove it. So he put it where he did. He thought it would go in there deep if he had to get surgery.

Did he just turn into a whistle dog? The thought of all that is just not good either. Oh, they probably didn't split him, Ricky. Well, how would they get him out? Oh, I think they would just give it a good yank. No, that's not surgery. He tried to do that himself, and he almost pulled the whole urethra out. For fuck's sakes, man.

What kind of USB cable was it? Fucking must have had barbs on the end of it like a fishing lure or a tick. That's fucked. Again, someone was trying to get off on that. I've never tried to shove weird things in my penis. What, like how does? I've put my penis in weird things,

but I've never tried to put weird things in my penis. That person was obviously used. Oh yeah, good to know, thanks. Well Ricky, you did once. You did once. I did? At the fair, you put the corn dog stick in there. Yeah, I remember that.

Remember? And you were like, hey, look, I got a corn dog cock. And it was fucked. I don't remember that. Yeah, you were like, come on, boys, eat it. It does sound like something I would do. There was a little piece of wood that came out that... Did I get any splinters? Yeah, man. You passed out. Right through the side of that came out that Did I get any splinters? Yeah, you're fucking

You passed out Ricky Yeah, I was fucked I'm sorry Jacob Yeah, I'm glad I wasn't there for that. You want to like talk to us? Are you gonna fucking play video games all day for free? I'm testing our two techniques. It was actually works. Okay. No shit. Fuck face. I'm just trying to see if I'm testing out our two techniques. Yours actually works okay. No shit, fuckface. I've been playing it my whole life. What are you holding down by your wiener? The camera guys told me to

talk into this thing. You've got a microphone. They didn't have enough of the other kind of mics. Microphone cock. I'm sorry for being so hard on you, Jacob. You're working 21 hours a day. That's- that's good in my books. You know, I've touched on this before, but this is another story now to kinda prove my point even more. People make fun of Canada, having the beaver as their national animal, thinking we're a bunch of pussies.

Beaver's a tough animal. Almost killed another American guy. Beavers do not fuck around. He got attacked by this fucking beaver in a pond. He was probably chirping, saying, Oh yeah, I bet you're tough there, you big fucking Canadian icon. Your big dumb teeth. The beaver fucked him over big time.

Fucking puncture wounds, broken bones, fucking almost drowned him four times. I fought a fucking beaver. I know how tough beavers are. I'd rather fight a bear than a fucking beaver. That's why it's a national animal. Don't be fucking fooled. It's a tough fucking animal. Canada is tough. Tough animal.

What if we ever had a beaver beating the fuck out of a bald eagle? Would there be troubles? Could that cause a war? Well, I would think it would be great. It would be a cool match to watch. I wonder who would win. Trin? Depends on the ring depends on the ring.

Yeah, it depends on the size of each of them, but as all the beaver house would do is, is cripple it from flight. And then I feel like the beaver wins. Yeah. Wait for the wing. And then. Yeah. No, here's what the beaver would do. And then done.

The eagle would be coming down like this, right? Swooping. Yeah. And the beaver would just be looking at him. And if he timed it right he'd go and swing around and get him like a tennis racket with the tail and the bird goes into the water and then the beaver gets the big teeth and into the neck game over but if the eagle got him from behind right and got him you know then he's just up there in his tails just doing this and his little arms and his teeth.

He wouldn't have much of a chance. And then the eagle takes him up 4,000 feet and drops him on the cement. See, there's a fucking TV show. National Geographic. Just getting weird animals to fight each other. Well, as long as the beaver knew the eagle was coming, I think we'd be fine.

Yeah, if it wasn't a sneak attack, I think the beaver could take him. All right. Who would win between a fucking silverback gorilla and a bear, a big fucking brown bear? Silverback. Demolisher. No, no, no, no, no, no.

You're wrong. A brown bear or a grizzly? A grizzly bear. You're talking about 1,000 pounds against 500 pounds. You know what? We should take it to another level. We should take a fucking grizzly bear. What was the thing you said?

Grizzly bear and a fucking silverback. Oh, yeah, silverbacks. A fucking tiger. And just throw them all in the ring at the same time. And an orca. Fuck. That would be a good fight. You'd have to fight in water then.

You could have just enough water to get his gills to keep him alive. So have a hose, spraying them down. He's at a disadvantage, Ricky. Yeah, man. I guess he would be with no water. He could flop around, man. I don't think orcas have gills. Shut up, Jacob.

So, honestly, I think a fucking Kodiak or a grizzly bear would destroy a silverback. He's twice the size. No. A silverback is strong as fuck. It depends would destroy a Silverback. He's twice the size. No. But he'd stick him up and throw him. A Silverback is strong as fuck. It depends on if the Silverback is trained in martial arts. Like Mice Tyson or something.

And we are talking about the gorilla, right? Because the Silverback, he can do this shit, right? We're talking about a gorilla, not your mother, right? He can bob and weave and block and stuff. They're not trained in boxing, bubs. Well, they're... They're savage. They're basically human, though.

Grizzlies have the claws. What I'm saying is a grizzly bear can't do this. You know? A silverback can, like, you know, Bruce Lee sort of size him up. Yeah, but it's like

a sumo wrestler fighting, like, fucking, I don't know, Oscar de la Hoya. Well... That's what it'd be like. Who would win, Bruce Lee or a sumo wrestler?

Bruce Lee. Unless a sumo wrestler Yeah, that's a tough fell on him. But he wouldn't because Bruce Lee's a sumo wrestler? Bruce Lee. Unless a sumo wrestler fell on him. But he wouldn't because Bruce Lee's too quick. I don't know, we'd have to see it. Could you beat Bruce Lee? No. This would be tough.

Depends on how much booze is involved. If he was drunk and I was drunk, I guarantee I'd take him. He doesn't drink. You could probably beat him now. Never happened then. You could beat him now. There was this car in Mississippi, and it had a big sign on it that just said, free car.

So these two clowns said, right on. Charred out. Took it for a little rip for 40 kilometers. Went to a friend's house. Started checking out the car. Dead body in the trunk. Naked. Whoa, naked?

Male or female? I didn't ask. I mean, I didn't read. I mean, I didn't look. I don't know. All right. Fair enough. That would suck.

So did they buy the car? They called the cops. They actually, you know, waited for the cops to come. They did the right thing. And then did they buy the car? They would have got a good deal having a dead body in the trunk. You probably would have got a half price. Well, it was free.

It said free car. Well, free car. Yeah. Oh, fuck, there's a car. There was a catch. Yeah. You got to dispose of the body. Was it like decomposing, like maggots and shit?

It said it was dead for at least 24 hours. That's not too bad. Free car. It's a little bit of Febreze. It's a good way to get the trail off the real killers. Not really, Ricky. Oh, man. DNA and shit.

The cops just say, who put up the ad for the free car? No, it was just a sign in the window. Okay. Oh, I see. It's a pretty good idea. So next time if we rob the store with a stolen car, we could put the car somewhere. Free car, leave the keys in it. The car's gone.

It's a good idea. I like it. Yeah. Is it time to go now or get drunk or something? It's gotta be close. No, I don't think so. I think we just started, didn't we? Are we gonna talk to this fucking guy back here or what?

He's probably capable of talking to me too much. Z's, but, but I mean I can talk okay what would you like to talk about Jacob I like putting him on the spot I don't have anything

to talk about but he means he will respond if you ask him things yeah can I just sort of half get go to sleep

and uh I'll keep my ears open if you guys want to ask me questions look I got the microphone right here. This is where your life is with this fucking guy? Can you hear me? I'm going to be half asleep and talk and sleep.

He's just never here for me. Like, either he's sleeping or at work or off gallivanting around. I don't know. And here you are, like, corresponding with people all over the world. See, you may as well be dating this. Fucking my ass off.

Exactly. Date that fucking thing. Yeah, it's probably longer. it's probably actually plays music and longer than jacob so probably yeah jesus murphy i'm glad i picked that up okay so you things are going all right did you say what what yeah stuff's pretty good not getting enough sleep at night time are you talking to me you don't get a solid two hours, do you, Jacob? Well, with the commute, yeah, I'm lucky. Lucky to get two hours.

That's not human. At least he's working, man. Furthering my point. He'd be useless. Furthering my point. This woman over in the UK got the coolest pet. This guy died and left his parrot. Fuck, why can't I have a pet like this?

It just tells her to fuck off all the time. Fuck this. It's awesome. Taco was like that, Ricky. Remember Taco? He also says, let me the fuck out. And then he looks down at all of his shit and goes, look at that fucking mess. What a cool bird.

Taco does still say I love you and give me a kiss and shit. It would drive you nuts, man. After a while, you'd be getting out the 9mm and taking care of it. You gotta think, like, what the fuck did this bird go through with its old owner? And I guess it mimics this really infected chest cough. Are you sure you didn't own this fucking bird?

The fucking bird must have lived with a lunatic that just swore a shot off. Well, that's what happened to Taco. Taco used to say, tongue my balls, eat my ass. That was all stuff you taught him. He was a smart bird. He was great. I love Taco. You know what? I should have a parrot. I should be a parrot trainer. I can't. I have PTSD from the last one.

I couldn't train them to fly, but I could train them to talk properly. No, I won't have another parrot around. Sorry. Imagine all the parrots in all the pet stores trained by Ricky. Oh, yeah, that's great. That would be something else. A cacophony of,

fuck yourself when you walk in the store. 40 birds screaming it. No, you train them all to say something different. Rick, I guarantee if you owned a parrot, you'd get sick of them after like a week or two. You'd be eating them. You'd get drunken eyes some night. You'd pluck the feathers off the thing and eat them.

He never ate taco, even though he thought it was a taco. Would you eat a parrot? If you had the right, like, spices and rotisserie. See, told you, the parrot would be fucking eaten. If you could do it Swiss Chalet style, I don't know. Swiss Chalet parrot? I don't know what they taste like. What does a parrot wing taste like? I feel like it probably tastes like chicken.

Probably. It would be from the chicken family. It'd be an expensive piece of meat. It wouldn't taste like beef, for instance. Let's see what it would taste like. You're gonna Google that. It's weird that they don't have some sort of a firm where you can buy, like, parrot meat or eagle meat. Ricky. Eagle's as big as a turkey.

Eagle meat? They're way bigger, man. We're having our Christmas eagle. Okay, it depends on what type of parrot you're talking about here. Eagle meat. They're way bigger, man. We're having our Christmas eagle. Okay, it depends on what type of parrot you're talking about here. It's similar to chicken. So people have eaten them. People do eat parrots, man. People eat everything.

People try everything. Poor parrots. They'd be an easy bird probably to kill and eat because they're probably not expecting it. What countries eat parrots? Guess. One guess. Parrots. North Korea.

Wait. Fucking everything, Ricky. Anything, man. Parrots, I'm going to say somewhere in South America. Rio. Argentina. Keep guessing. India. Rio. Argentina. India. Nope.

Africa. Negative. Parrotville. Maybe. Where is it? Indiana. China. They eat a fuck ton of parrots.

Really? Yep. Parrot knights. And other countries around. That's weird. I didn't think they ate anything strange in China. Parrot fingers? It's good to pair the parrot meat with some oil, some garlic, and some cayenne pepper.

I would try a parrot if I was in China. I'd fuck over a parrot. All right. Next week on the show, if we can find one. All right. Here's another one. What does a peacock taste like? Also chicken.

No, I'm going to say more like pork. Pork? It doesn't taste like a pig. There's no way, man. It tastes like chicken. Trent was right. So all birds taste like chicken. Why are we only eating chickens?

Actually, it tastes more like a fucking turkey. Yes, it would be more of the turkey family or the walking birds. Get this, you're like this. It tastes like a guinea pig. A peacock tastes like a guinea pig. Oh, well, there you go. Which you've had many go down your yap.

And there is guinea pig, or no, there's peacocks at the Shubenakni Wildlife Zoo. There is. Well, let's go get some dinner. Lots of them roaming around. If I can catch one of those motherfuckers, would you eat it? So you could make a nice meal and have a nice hat. Like a nice peacock hat, feather hat. Yeah. You just push a button and it goes whoosh.

That'd be cool, wouldn't it? Like have long hat like Davy Crockett, but if somebody's, you know, giving you the gears, you push a button and it scares them away. We can make a bra and panties for Julian. And a peacock. Here's another bird fucking question, boys. Is it legal to eat a penguin?

No, it is not. Depends. Okay, there was an Antarctic fucking treaty. Well, it depends what kind of penguin it is. Some penguins are endangered, some aren't. They're fair game. But you eat too many penguins, you can get fucking mercury toxicity going on and die. How do they, how are they full of fucking mercury

if they're down in Antarctica? Because they're eating those goddamn mercury fish. But how are the fish full of mercury down in fucking Antarctica? Aliens in the Antarctic, man. I'm telling you, that's where they're fucking hiding. I want to know who ate so many penguins

that they figured that out. That's a great fucking... Jacques Rousseau fucked over some penguins. Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing. He would have eaten a few of those. Speaking of penguins,

you hear about those fucking cock-sucking bees that killed 60 penguins? Those penguins were in danger, too. Stung little fuckers in their eyeballs. In the eyeballs?

Cock suckers. Yeah, 60 of the fuckers gone. So one of those murder wasps or? I wonder if somebody ate those penguins. Should have. Oh, you're fucked. Murder hornets. Are those still a thing?

Yeah. Well, clearly. They're murdering penguins. No, these were bees. Oh, murder bees. Those are bad too. Murder bees are the size of a coconut. I don't think anything with the name murder in it is good.

Holy fuck, it's October the 1. Tom Murder? Did you ever meet Tom Murder? He's a nice fella. Oh, okay. Okay. My mistake. My mistake. Unfortunate name. That's a weird headline. Two men arrested trying to enter New Zealand with a trunk full of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's banned. You can't have Kentucky Fried Chicken. It's banned.

You can't have Kentucky Fried Chicken. Holy fuck, boys. You know what? Guess what a giraffe tastes like. I'm going to say chicken. No, I'm going to say a giraffe tastes like zebra meat. Deer. Horse. Steak.

Better than steak. What kind of steak? Beef steak, man. Ooh. They say it'd be nice to grill them over a nice open fire. Giraffe meat. Who are these sick fucks? I don't know, man.

Save me the knack, I'd say. Guess what, pandas... Get it? All the meat you'd get. Yeah, bud. Pandas don't taste like other bears. Guess why? Why? Because they eat bamboo. They're vegetarians. Yeah, but pandas don't taste like other bears. Guess why? Why? Because they eat bamboo. They're vegetarians. Yeah, so- Because of deez nuts! So they got a woody, woody flavor? They got a woody kind of bamboo flavor. They're already smoked.

They got a smoked flavor because they eat so much wood. Fucking October the 1. Jesus. Month of Halloween. What are you dressing up as? Yeah, I don't know. Any suggestions? Suggestiones? I feel like you'd make a great Snoop Dogg. That would be tricky.

What are you dressing up as, Tran? Uh, I don't know. Thinking about poison ivy. Poison ivy? How do you dress up as that? Poison ivory, isn't it? Uh, no. Poison ivory? Yeah. Like the soap?

Or the tusks? I don't know. Poison ivory just makes you itch like fuck, I heard. Do you want to explain to him? A lot of people got burnt on October the 1st. Bonnie Parker, that crazy bitch with the machine gun. Oh. Bonnie and Clyde?

Bonnie and Clyde? I thought that was her, wasn't it? I hope so, because you just called her a bitch. I didn't mean to call you a bitch. Sorry, Bonnie. You're dead, I guess. Well, she was a bit of a crazy bitch. All right, she were a crazy bitch. Well, she had a hard life.

Jimmy Carter. Likes peanuts. Does he? Yeah. Jimmy Carter was not into penis. Would you guys consider him like a handsome president? Jimmy Carter? Yeah.

Depends on what stage of his life you're talking. Young Jimmy Carter was strikingly handsome. Really? Old Jimmy Carter not so much. I didn't know you were attracted to Jimmy Carter. Never said I was attracted to him. Well, sounds like you're a better... But I'm confident enough in my sexuality that I can say a man's handsome. Julie Andrews.

Same thing. Depends on what part of her life, I guess. Who's the most handsome man on the planet? What? Who's the most handsome man on the planet? Right now? Yeah. Brad Pitt.

Jesus. No question. You're getting Randy a little bit too much. Not even? Hmm. Jesus. No question. You got Randy a little bit too. Not even a pause. No, no question. Theresa May? Prove me wrong. Who's better looking?

I've never seen him. I don't know. You gotta, I don't know. You've never seen Brad Pitt? Okay. Brie Larson also got born today. The cheese lady. Is she?

I don't know. Who? Brie Larson? I think she was in... Brie Larson. I have no idea who she is. Brie's one of my favorite cheeses, so I just thought maybe she was a cheese lady. You were supposed to make us Brie today. Ah, fuck.

I missed Brie? He was gonna make it for you. He's got a special recipe. Oh. Yeah, I fucked up. With pecans and something else. Russian mustard. So good.

Russians don't have mustard, do they? Russians have mustard. Really? All types of mustards over there. Are they known for making mustard? They're big on their mustards. Who is it? The French eat the mustard, right? French like the mustard, but that doesn't mean Russians don't.

Russians like mustard. Vladimir Putin eats mustard on everything. Really? Yes! I learned a lot today. He's got a lot of ladies on the go, man. Putin. On October the 1 in 19-oh-something, Henry Ford introduces the Model T for $825. Imagine if you could buy one now for $825, what it would be worth.

Yeah, it only goes, what, 20 kilometers an hour? Yeah, but they're worth, like, millions. And in 1962, in October the 1st, Johnny Carson, The Tonight Show, premiered. Oh, that's weird, wild stuff. With Tony Bonn- Johnny Carson. That was good.

You were like Ed McMahon. Tony Bennett, Mel Brooks, and Joan Craw. Johnny Carson. That was good. You were like Ed McMahon. Tony Bennett, Mel Brooks, and Joan Crawford. That's quite a lineup. Who was it? Tony Bennett, Mel Brooks, and Joan Crawford. Ooh, three mega stars.

Right there. All right, your dad needs to go to bed. It's the afternoon, what? It's late night. Well, I'm glad you came over. I guess I work weird hours, so does Jacob. Next time, come by yourself. I might have a barbecue.

I might have a barbecue later. You wanna come over for burgers? Yeah, I'll come over for. Did you steal that from the Smurfs? A burger. Yeah, that's Smurf barbecue. That's like a Smurf barbecue, doesn't it? Yep.

Would you barbecue a Smurf? Fucking right. What do they taste like, Julian? Chicken, I bet. Probably chicken. The Smurfs? With a hint of blueberry. Blueberry chicken.

Are you going to fucking wake up now, Jacob, or what, bud? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When do you got to work? I'm working tonight. Okay. All nighter? What job are you working tonight?

Uh, KOD. Nice. All right, if you can get some chicken, drop it off, please. Bring home some left over chicken. KODs don't have chicken, do they? Yeah, yeah. Oh, KOD. Oh, there's the KFC.

No. All right, some don't air. KFC works there after KODFC. No. All right, some donors. KFC works there after KOD. All right, time to go? I don't know. It's great to see you, Trent, Jacob. Yeah, thanks for having us over.

Have fun. Yeah, it was great to see you, and I'm proud of you. Thanks, Dad. So am I. Thanks, Julian. Him? Don't know what to think of him anymore. I'm impressed he's working four or five jobs. Just maybe he could get one or two good jobs.

Yeah, but you've got to stay home with the family sometimes. It's important. Agreed. He's doing fuck all with the family. Yeah. And Trent. Yeah. So on that, you can go fuck yourself, Jacob.

Get to work. I don't know. Do I protect him or do I go along? No, you just say, get to work and make my fucking daughter happy. He tries. He tries. All right. I'll support you either way, but it's not fucking easy sometimes. Cut him a fucking break, boys.