Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 20 - Brain F**kers

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

Today's episode is only nine seconds long, as Ricky is too busy nursing a bitten toe and Julian is wrestling with video checkers! Instead, Ricky's brain gets vibrated with some f**ked facts, talks like a butterfly, and finds out what a foopa is. Hmm, are you sure you didn't film Park After Dark today, Boys?

Boys, are you gonna fucking come do this or what? Nope. No, I don't think so. Not today, man. Okay, well, I guess that's... That's the end of the Park After Dark for today. Thanks for tuning in for nine fucking seconds. It's over. You can still do it, Bob.

You can do it by yourself. I'm not. Bob's been trying to figure out this Atari game, man. It's not fucking working. Oh, yes. Atari games are very difficult to figure out. I can't do anything dangerous. I'm trying to look after myself.

What's dangerous? I don't know. What are we doing for it? Is it gonna be dangerous? Sitting here talking? Are we cooking or doing anything? No. Okay. Why? What's going on with the dangerous? What happened? I've been fucking getting hurt lately, man.

Just, I don't... I gotta look after myself. Well, you... How did you hurt yourself? I broke my fucking toe the other day. I told you that. It's fucked. You never told me you broke your fucking toe. I meant to. How did you break your toe?

Ricky, why don't you come sit here and talk to me? Fuck's sakes. Well, it's not. We won't even do the show. Just come talk to me. All right. As long as we're not doing the show. No, we're not.

The cameras are off. Perfect. I just want to sit and talk with you. What happened to your toe? I'd rather not talk about it. I thought I told you about that. I don't think so. I was trying to make a Jigs dinner. I had no vegetables.

So I went to steal, or I mean, borrow something from that firm. And this big fucking, I don't know if it was a Rottweiler or what the fuck it was, came at me. So what would you do if a fucking big dog's charging at you? Run? Yeah, but then it bites you in the ass. So I said, fuck it, I'm going to, let's go, let's get it on. You tried to fight him. Tried to punt it, and the fucking thing clamped onto my toe.

Fucking hurts, Fucking hurts. Still hurts. So you got a bit, a bite break. You bit the bone in half. I don't know. Well, it's fucking, yeah, it's pretty swollen, pretty purple. What were you trying to make at Jig's dinner? Yeah.

People aren't going to know. We're not making the show, though. No gonna know. We're not making the show though. No. No, we're not doing the show today. It's like fucking salt meat or corned beef and all the veggies and cabbage boiled off. Fuck, it's good, man. Anyway, I never got to eat it. Because you got your toe bit by a Rottweiler.

Fuckers. What the fuck is their problem? You see someone in the field, they've got to charge at them and attack them. It's fucking bullshit. Well, because they're trained to not let people steal the vegetables out of the garden, which is what you were doing. Borrowed is a better word.

Borrow. I'd fucking throw some seeds down their next spring and make up for it. You steal his vegetables at harvest, and then you fire some seeds down in the spring, and then up for it. You steal his vegetables at harvest, and then you fire some seeds down in the spring, and then you're even. Pretty much. You'd probably grow more with seeds than you would

from just stealing a few carrots and some potatoes and some turnip. Oh, you were stealing the whole gamut, were you? Everything you needed. I had potatoes, but nothing else. Julian? What? And the fucking guy, like, he should have little signs in his field.

How the fuck do you tell a difference between a lettuce and a cabbage? No sign. Well, he can, and he doesn't need a fucking sign for the people that are robbing him. Did you know coleslaw is made out of cabbage? I did. I did not. There's two main types. There's a vinegar-based and a mayonnaise-based.

Didn't know that either. I thought it was just a coleslaw sauce. Are you still losing? You've got to fix these fucking controllers, Pops. What game are you playing? Checkers. Which was a fun game in jail when the fucking controllers work. Checkers.

It's better to play it as a board game. Well, what do you mean play it as a board game? You know they make it as a board game, right? Yeah, but when you have friends like you that don't know how to fucking play this thing, you've got to play against a computer. Which I'm trying to do. You could have got me taught. You can't fucking figure out checkers.

Can you just come up and talk with me? Fuck, can you figure... You know what it is? It's a micro... You know why it's broken? It's called a micro switch in the fucking joysticks. You got to work them on... You know why it's broken?

Why? Because you fire the fucking thing on the ground. Because I think Ricky's been... Because you take everything. You don't... Up his ass. You weren't putting that up your ass, were you? Fuck no.

Bet you at ten bucks he's had one of those things up his ass Not any change At one point in his life Nope So you're over there handling it No I cleaned it off The fact that you haven't even thought about that Leads me to believe that maybe you've done that

No it leads me to believe that I know you fucking very well Rick One of you guys drove an Atari controller up your ass I think that is clear And it was Rick Nope You brought it up out of the blue. Why would I do that? Because you've done it.

You've done it in jail, man. You want to feel normal, so you're trying to see other people do it. You were caught fucking putting one of those up your ass in jail. It's called projecting. Everybody in the jail knew it. I believe what you're doing is called projecting. No, it's called him fucking hogging the game. So I'm going to ram this thing in my ass, and then no one's going to play it but me.

That's his fucking philosophy. Ricky, did you do that? Did you see him do that? It was an idea. I didn't actually do it, but I thought if I did it that nobody else would want to use the joystick except me. Talk to Gorilla Fingers, man. He has you on camera doing it.

Nope. Ricky. Anyway. All right, well, what are we doing here? We're not doing this because if I get scared, I'm going to die. What are you talking about? I got scared half to death yesterday when I saw that fucking snake, and it can't happen again or I'm dead.

Why are you afraid of snakes, man? There's no poison in snakes. Just hold the fuck on. Do you understand what he's saying? No. He got scared half to death yesterday, and he thinks if he gets scared half to death yesterday, and he thinks if he gets scared half to death again, half plus half equals one equals death.

Well, you got that good math, by the way. I can't believe you fucking figured that out. I know, but it's just a saying, Ricky. Why would this person say that if it's not the case? Why didn't you say I got scared a little bit? I got scared a little bit? Well... I got scared a quarter to death. Got scared half to death.

But he thinks if that happens twice he's dead. I know what's going on in his head. Think about this one. While you wait for the waiter in that moment, do you not become the waiter? Same fucking thing. When you're at a restaurant... You're at a restaurant

waiting for your food. Yeah. He's saying, aren't you then the waiter? Not the waiter. Because you're waiting, you mean? Yeah. Think about it.

So then you're the waiter. The waiter's the guy that brings you the food, man. But you're still waiting for your food. You're technically... You're waiting. You're a waiting person.

When Snoop Dogg turns 60, he'll be 420 in dog years. Is that a coincidence? Or is that some kind of alien shit? How does that fucking figure out me the math on that one? Well, dog years, it's what? Seven. It's seven times the years. Seven times the years.

So when he's 60, Snoop Dogg, when he's 60, he'll actually be 420 in dog years. Dog years. So does that mean he has, when he's 60, he has to smoke? So, what about when I'm 60? Won't I be 420? Yes, you will be. If you were a dog, but you're not Snoop Dogg. Fuck, I wish I could live to be 60, because man, would I ever light it up that day.

Well, Ricky, you're not that far off. I'd buy a bunch of dogs and get everybody high as fuck. You're gonna live to 60, Ricky, for fuck... No. Why? Not if I keep doing dumb shit like getting attacked by fucking dogs in fields and snakes scaring the fuck out of me. No, I could be dead next week.

Ricky, you're not gonna be dead next week for fuck's sake. Nobody knows. Well, somebody does, but I could be dead next week. Ricky, you're not going to be dead next week for Fox X. Nobody knows. Well, somebody does, but I don't. Nobody knows. Okay, this is really going to freak him out, man. Here, Rick, read this. In your head, not aloud. How many big words is there?

Just by yourself. In your head. In my head? Yeah. Just read it. This is going to blow his fucking mind. Okay. What do you think of that?

What's weird about it? What does it say? Isn't it weird we have a little voice in our heads, like the one you use to read this? So when he read that, it was a voice in his head reading it. It's a voice. It's just your voice. It's he read that, it was a voice in his head reading it. It's a voice. It's just your voice. It's pretty fucking deep, man.

See, that's alien shit. It'd be cool if it was a different voice, but it's just your voice. I mean, if it was a different voice, yeah, it'd be fucking weird. No, but you'd read it.

Well, yeah, if it was like Frank Sinatra. If I'm reading it and it's Bubba's voice, that would be fucked. Or Frank Sinatra. Yeah, or Bob Marley. But you can control

that shit, can't you? I can. From now on, I'm going to do it. It's going to be a different voice. It's going to be fucking, who should it be? Darth Vader. That's going to be a hard one for me to get my brain to do. Who's an easy one?

Who's got an easy voice? Jean-Luc Picard. He's got a French accent. He doesn't have an easy voice. William Shatner. No. Shatner Picard. He's got a French accent. He doesn't have an easy voice. William Shatner. No. Shatner, no.

He's no. Kenny Rogers. No. Nobody knows what he sounds like talking. Fucking, what's her face with the big boobs?

Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton. You know what her voice sounds like? She's squeaky. She does got a bit of a squeak to it. So, okay,

is it easier for you to fuck your brain to think as a male because you're a male? Or is it just the same? I think male would be a good start. No accent. How about the guy? How about... Peter Mansbridge.

Peter Mansbridge. Peter Mansbridge. Oh, I just know his voice from watching the news. He's retired now. You said basically his last name is Taint. Peter Taint. Right. He's retired, so now he can be my voice.

That's funny. Anyway, what else do you got that's going to fucking bring it? Okay, I wonder if caterpillars know that they're going to be butterflies or they just build the cocoon and be like, what the fuck am I doing? Of course they fucking know. Do they know? Because they're just like, I've got to build this fucking thing in order to get my wings. But how do they know?

That's just what they're taught when they're young. Nobody teaches them shit, man. They just get fucking pushed out as like a little larva. I think it might be just something they just, something in them says, you gotta build this, but they don't know why. The little voice in their head. Right. What do you think the caterpillar's voice says?

Or it could be a butterfly lands near him and says, hey, bud, go eat some fucking leaves and turn into something like me. And he's like, fuck off, really? Do they talk in English like that, Ricky? Well, in Canada, except in Quebec, I guess, in New Brunswick. No, they have little beeps and clicks, I think. Caterpillars and butterflies talk in clicks and beeps?

What? They don't talk, man. They just fucking eat. Well, how do they know then? Somebody tells them to eat man. They just fucking eat. Well, how do they know then? Somebody tells them to eat. No, they just eat because... And you know what? A cocoon's probably not an easy fucking thing to build either.

That's what I'm saying. I couldn't build one. So they're building it all. If you could spit silk out of your ass, you could. Just start spinning, really. Start making shirts and all kinds of shit. Oh, I'd wear one of your ass shirts, Ricky. See, you know what?

This person... Silky ass shirt. This next one, this person is probably as smart as Ricky. Ribbed condoms don't even taste like ribs. I'm not sure. I think you've said that before. Never tried one. Why would they?

Two different animals. Fuck, man. A cond they? Two different animals. Holy fuck, man. A condom is not an animal. I thought it was made from a sheep. Some places they do that. Some places they get the sheep and then they throw it on their birds and they ram. What are you talking about? There's people out there.

You know when they say sheepskin, it's not really sheep bag. It used to be. I thought it was. You go back to the sheepskin, it's not really sheep bag. It used to be. I thought it was. You go back to the Roman days, buddy. They were fucking cutting bags off of sheeps everywhere. And just using them for everything. Why the bag? Because it's preformed.

And it's stretchy. You can stretch it right down. I guess. I don't know. So would you ever stretch a sheep bag over your wiener? Depends on how hot the chick is. Yeah. Think about it. Do they carry sheep's bags in their purse?

Nope. But I guarantee you if I'm out in the woods... And you see a sheep. There's a really hot, like, wood chick out there, lost and wanting to get laid or whatever. I see a sheep. I'm cutting the bag off it, and here we go. That's quite a... A really hot wood chick.

Well, you know, a chick that's in the woods. Like a lumberjack. A lumberjack lady. Whatever. You know, like that Nell chick, like we've mentioned before. I thought she was a ghost. No, she wasn't a ghost, man. I'm just saying, there's hot chicks out there.

Walking around the woods probably somewhere. Ricky, did you ever feel like you have bugs on you? Just don't fucking scare me. Did you ever feel like there's bugs on you, but there's none there? Yes, what the fuck causes that? You know what it is? What? It's the ghosts of bugs that you've killed.

See, that's bullshit. Could be, because I fucking killed the shit out of him. No, boss, watch it. Tell him that. It's mosquito ghosts. He's not going to be able to sleep now. You know that. For fucking probably months.

You know what else is weird? What happens? Like, sometimes you think your cell phone's fucking buzzing, and you don't even have your goddamn cell phone. What the fuck is that all about? That's the ghost. Ghost of yours. Is it from cell phones you killed What the fuck is that all about? That's the ghost of yours. Is it from cell phones you killed in the past?

It's Alexander Graham Bell's ghost. He's calling it. He's mad that he didn't get credit for the cell phone. So he's twiddling. He's probably the guy that invented the vibrator on the cell phone. He's like, fuck you for not paying me. I'm going to be a ghost and go into everyone's pocket and fuck with their heads.

So is that the same technology as in a vibrator, you think, Buzz? No. A cell phone? It came from an electric razor, didn't it? Vibrators, pleasure vibrators, they have to have more of a torque to them.

They need more torque. There's people using this as a pleasurable device. Have you done it? No, I haven't. But I know There's people using this as a pleasurable device. Have you done it? No, I haven't. But I know there's people doing it. Penis? No, I drive an Atari controller up your arse

and put that on the end of your wiener, you're all set. Problem is, once you try something like that, you can't go back to the normal tugging. So he's tried it, obviously. Well, no. He's fucking redial, redial. I've heard of people

like you, man. Okay, here's one. If tomatoes are fruit, then isn't ketchup a smoothie? I wouldn't go that far. Why not? It would be more like

a jam or a jelly, wouldn't it? Yeah, there's nothing else in it. But it could be like a tomato jam. There's vinegar and shit in it. Tomato jelly. Okay, I guess.

Fuck, that's a weird one. Okay. I'm not buying it. Here's another one. If you get out of the shower clean, why does your towel get dirty? It doesn't. Well, people... You can use a towel for months.

Ricky. You don't use a towel for months, do you? It's clean, and it's just, all it's cleaning off is nice... Yeah, but you're scrubbing your parts dry. There's still a bit of residue on your unit. I'm good at cleaning myself. Do you dry off your unit and then dry your face? I would.

Everything's the same clean as. What about your arse? It's all clean. Do you clean that, too? I clean it great. Great. I guarantee you after I shower, I could wipe my ass, balls in unit, and you guys wouldn't, I'd put it right in your nose,

you'd be like, smells like clean. So the hand towel in your bathroom that we use to wipe your hands off has been on your sack at some point, and your ass. Not that I remember recently, but maybe. I've never fucking washed my hands. Could have been on your sack, I don't know. You should only have a fucking towel for what, a week? Then throw it in the fucking washer.

One week. Or throw it on the clothesline. Fresh as a daisy. I enjoy the clothesline dry. The clothesline's a good dry. It's got a nice, fresh air feeling to it. It does. It's totally different.

Same as sheets. I like fucking clothesline dryer sheets. Yeah. None of this Tide Pod bullshit. Fucking fabric softener. Fuck off. Fuck off, fabric softener. Okay, how can your body replicate the feeling of falling from high altitudes in a nightmare if you've never fallen like that before? Well, that's scientific. Okay.

Explain, please, bubs. That's scientific. Your brain just fills in the blanks. It's seen TV shows. It's seen, had other experiences of falling, and it just triangulates things and fills in the blanks, and it's like, this is what it's like to fall off.

You know what? I agree with you. But I think it's more like this. When you're up fucking like in the CN Tower and you're looking over the edge or a skyscraper, you get that feeling like, holy motherfucker. It would suck to fall off. What if nobody's ever been up in the CN Tower? Everybody's fallen off shit.

I have. So you know what it feels like. I've fallen out of trees. I've fell off a diving board. You fell off a roof many times.

Yeah. You fell off an 18-wheeler. You fell off the trailer of your roof and got the handlebar of a

tricycle up your ass. Did I? Yeah. I remember that. Yeah, right. That happened. Was I on mushrooms? Most of it. You were. And remember that. Yeah, right. That happened. Was I on mushrooms? Most of it.

You were. And the bell went right in there. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Don't be tweaking my next. Fucked up. All right, this is fucked up. Okay, think about this. Up for something and being down for something.

Same fucking thing. You up for something? You down for going? Hey, Ricky, you up for hitting the being down for something. Same fucking thing. You up for something? You down for going? Hey, Ricky, you up for hitting the bar? Yeah. Are you down with doing that? Down with that? Sure.

So you're up and down. Why are you up and down? I don't know. I'm just good with it. Are you lying to us? Guys, I just want to go to the fucking bar. You just said you were up for something and you were down for it. What's better?

What is it? Man, we're getting deep today. Jesus Christ. I don't like these conversations. They make me want to fucking snap. My brain right now is just vibrating. It's pissed off. It's like, fuck off with these games.

Well, they're coming at you, guys. I'm not done yet. Do you have more? Yes, I do. Okay, this is fucked up, and this might gross... No, it won't gross you out. Scientifically, it's fucked up that humans drink the milk of other animals when you can make your own.

True. You can't fucking make it. How do I make milk? You don't see a rhino going over and sucking on a goat's tit, do you? You don't. They suck on another rhino's tit. So I just go around and start sucking on people's tits?

Is that what you're saying? Well, I'm just saying it's kind of fucked up that we drink the milk from a cow. It's dead. It's very fucked up. But we got the, like, honey. The baby's coming.

You've got a little milk going there. Can I get a little bit for my tea? What if she says no? Well, usually people don't ask for that. You see a lady breastfeeding at the mall, and you go up to her. You're just going to go up and ask her. Just give me half a glass.

Just give me a little shot. Can I have some warm milk to have with my lunch? I think what he's insinuating is that maybe there should be a factory that maybe. But that's not right. You have a factory of women with things stuck in their heads. No, but that's what you would have to have if you're not going to have. If you're not going to drink cow milk, there would have to be a factory of women where there's milking machines on them.

And nobody's going to fucking do that because, A, it's weird. I'm sure they exist. B, people are going to be pissed off. And C, nobody wants to get milked. I'm sure they exist. B, people are going to be pissed off. And C, nobody wants to get milked. So they gotta have... They should have because women just waste their milk. Most of them. No, they don't, Ricky.

Would you try breast milk from a woman? I have. How much did we... Okay. How much? Not a lot. Full glass? It's not great. Some people might like it, but it's definitely a quiet taste. Plus, it's not pasteurized or refined. It's just raw. But why can't we do that?

You wouldn't drink raw cow milk right out of a cow's tit. I would if I was fucking dehydrated and dying. I prefer goat's milk anyway. What? Goat's milk. It's way better than cow milk. I didn't know goat's made milk. The fuck do you get goat's milk?

You get goat's milk at the fucking store where you get cow's milk. Why would you do that? Oh, like it's more disgusting than cow's milk, is it? It is. No, it's not. Do you get chocolate goat milk? Yes. No, you don't. You can have it. Where do you think

chocolate milk comes from? I know, I don't. We're on gas. We already had that, Doc. No, it's not. A lot of people do think that. Goat's milk is better for you, and it's tastier. It's less tasty, which is what you want. You don't want milk to have a strong fucking taste. A lot of people say that. Goat's milk cheese.

I eat goat. Yeah, a lot of people say cheese is made from milk. Yeah, it is, Ricky. Most of it. Milk, cream. That's how you make cheese. But goat's milk, I prefer goat's milk cheese.

Okay. That's all I wanted to know, man. We're done. Corey had a question for me the other night. We were fucking baked out of our minds. And I couldn't answer it.

It's a fucking, it's a good one. It's one of these brain fucker ones. All right, what is it? What's the other word for smell? Odor? No.

Scent? Yes. Ah. He was asking, what's silent? The S or the C? And I didn't know what to tell him. That's it. That's a tough one.

Because if you take a penny, C-E-N-T, it's sent. With no S. And if you drop something off in the mail, you sent it. So why the fuck do you need this S and a C? So the aroma, S-C-E-N-T, I guess it's just to differentiate. That's what I told him.

I said that word must have been made after the other two words, and they said... We need a third... To tell the difference, you've got to put them together, I guess. We need... Sent has three distinct meanings, so now we need a new spelling. So let's come up with the most fucked up spelling we can think of. But they could have just put a J on the front of it

and said the J is silent. Or a six. Yeah, but then you're from fucking Sweden or something. Or a P. We don't do that here. Psycho? Maybe neither of them are silent. Maybe it's scent.

You just hold it a little longer and you're saying both of them. Like a serpent. Scent. That's a wonderful scent in here. What's that scent? I'm Sammy the Snake. Remember him? What was he on?

I remember that. He talked like that, but I can't remember. I'm Sammy the Snake. Oh, you know what, Ricky? What? Guess what Oscar Myers is putting out.

Hot dogs? Hot dog ice cream sandwiches. Jesus fucking Christ. They can't be. They are. Why? It's for National Sunday. Actually, you know what?

That might be all right, actually. National Ice Cream Sandwich Day. Oscar Mayer. The ice cream is mustard-flavored yellow ice cream. Yeah, not hot dog. And it's got candied hot dog bits in it. Holy fuck. Do they sell those?

Do they sell those separately? Little hot dog bits, like, sugarized, and then put in the ice cream. I'd like to have a can of those fucking things right now. Well. Imagine. Instead of, like, almonds, it's, like, little pieces. Oh, fuck, those would be good.

Little hot dog bits. I'm going to make some. Candied hot dog bites. I'm going to make some. Candied hot dog bites. They sound pretty fucked. Yeah, I'm going to have to try to do that. I've got a fucking chance of doing that. Wow. What else you got there, Julian?

Candied bacon's pretty good. All right, look, school's fucking joking around here these days, right? You know what I mean? Like, kids don't do homework, none of that shit. Not like we used to have to do. It's not fucking hard like it used to be for us. Well, you, I don't know about you, but you're talking about us. I'd be like an A student right now.

No, I'm just saying, this kid in fucking China, he takes a fucking snowy needle, sticks it right up his urethra to keep himself awake so he can study. Why? Why would you do that? There's probably other ways less painful, I would think. No shit, he stuck...

Do you know what a urethra is? No. It's your piss hole. It's your piss hole. Jesus Christ, why? Right into the eye, goes through. So what did he put in there?

It's a fucking sewing needle, man. They got an x-ray of it and everything. Like a knitting needle or... It's... A knitting needle? I don't know if it's fucking sewing needle, man. They got an x-ray of it and everything. Like a knitting needle or... A knitting needle? I don't know if it's a knitting needle, man. So it's just a tiny needle? That's fucking no big deal. Your piss hole's bigger than that.

Yeah, but what happens if it fucking bends and it goes through like a fucking shish kebab kind of thing? It would suck. I mean, it'd be a tiny hole, so I guess... I don't know. Anything going into the eye, you're fucking,

you're peening. Oh, I've had it done. It sucks. You're peening? Well, I'm trying to, you know, there's kids that watch this fucking thing. Kids? Kids watch the show.

You're talking random joysticks up your ass and you can't say penis? Kids know all about that shit. They guarantee a lot of them try these days. Don't say the word penis, bud. I mean, driving a tire controller right in your arse clam. Arse clam? What's an arse clam?

I get it. Your arse clam. Fuck. We don't have arse clams. It's a man's clam. You've got a bum purse. Bum purse. He keeps things in his bum purse.

You've got a gunt. Oh, wow. You've got a fupa. You've got a fupa. A fupa? What the fuck's a fupa? A fupa! What is that? You don't know what a fupa is?

Isn't that the tubes the eggs come down? A fupa. You lost me, man. Oh. I thought you knew what a fupa was. I don't think anybody... You can Google it. What's a fupa? A fupa. How do you spell fupa?

Is it P-H or is it F-O? F-U-P-A. I can't wait to find out what it is. Oh, we can't talk about that on here. A fupa. It must be in the urban dictionary. All right. Give it to me.

Okay. I actually don't even know what a fupa is. I know that it's something to do with your area. What? It's a gunt. A fupa's a gunt, man. Oh, yeah? It's the fat upper pussy penis area, commonly known as the fupa.

So it's two Ps? It's F-O-O-P-A. Oh, is it? Fupa. No, because that doesn't stand for upper. Well, it's commonly pronounced fupa. That's how you pronounce it. Yeah.

Fupa. You can't pronounce it, but it's spelled F-U. Fatted upper genital region. Holy shit. Fat upper penis area. Fupa. Yeah. You can almost use it as a pillow.

They're saying. Jesus Christ, Johnny has such a giant fupa, he probably can't see his cock to take a piss. That's an example of what you'd say. So what's the difference between a gut and a fupa? It's not a gut, it's a gunt. But a belt normally cuts it all in half. Is that what happens?

Just a second. I'll see what they have to say what a gunt is. Everybody knows what a gunt is, though. Ricky, here's a fucked up thought for you. Okay. What do you do with bacon? You cook it and eat it? You cook it, okay?

You can also bake it. Listen to me, hear me out. Yes. So bacon. Yes. You cook it. How do you make cookies? You mix them up and cook them.

You bake them, don't ya? Okay. Where you getting that? You cook them? You bake them, don't you? What are you getting at? You cook bacon, but you bake cookies. I actually bake bacon. You can bake bacon, too. $3.75? It's fucking fantastic. Oh, well, fuck yourself, then. Big eureka moment didn't happen for you.

Fuck yourself, then. Next time you want to cook some bacon, get out a fucking big cookie tray, get some little racks, put the bacon up these little cooling racks. Or just go fuck yourself because you fucked up my thing. So easy.

All right, I'm the fuck out of here. You're saying, okay, a belly and a shirt, okay. Hey, let's play spot the gun

here at Mull and McGee's. Spot the gun. That's what they do, spot the gun. It's pretty fucking easy to spot a gun. All right, get the fuck out.

I'm having a nap. That girl has a pretty face, but it looks like she might benefit from an inter-gun-tion. That's it for me. I'm done. I'm not talking about guns anymore. Okay, well, just fucking relax. Poop us. Where the fuck did this come from?

I don't know, Ricky. I didn't have it. All right, are we done? Say goodbye to everybody. All right, by the way, this is... Ricky, we were doing the show the whole time, just so you know. Fuck off.

You said no show today. And I guess we gotta put this in. Okay, this is Pad. Perk after Dirk. You just watched it. Done. That was really something.