Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 20 - The Food Fighters

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

The Boys eat a feast fit for a fighter and cook some scrump-dilly Army dinners - but where's the freeze-dried dope? Also: Greasy gorillas and sex with robots!

Which flavor do you want, Ricky? Julian, which flavor do you want? Flavor of what? These fucking meal things. I'm not eating that shit, man. The memories. Like a full fucking meal in a bag. They last forever.

Meal ready to eat from the US government. Warfighter recommended. These are the meals the army fellas eat out in the, somebody at the swimming. Yeah, when they haven't eaten for fucking days and they're out in the trenches fucking getting shot at. You'll eat anything, man. It heats itself up with no fire.

Go for it. Do it up. Well, you gotta try it. We got spaghetti with beef. We got chicken, egg noodles, and vegetables and sauce. That sounds good. Chicken, man. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken.

Beef stew. All right. Beef stew. Or chili and macaroni. Chili and macaroni. You want that one? I don't know. They all sound good.

Where'd you get this thing, Ricky? Does this work? Whose is this? Yours or get this thing, Ricky? Does this work? Is this, whose is this? Yours or his? That's mine. Does it work? Yes, it works. How come it's not hooked up? Because I was having problems.

Because somebody cut the fucking cord off the thing. There's two TVs back there, bubs. Come on, don't be blaming that shit on me. Well, you can't hook that to the big TV because it doesn't have the inputs. And the other TV has no power cord because some idiot sawed it off with a grinder. Do you remember who that was?

Did I fix it? Yes, I did. No. Anyway, this can't hook up to the fucking Atari 2600 anyway. Ricky, who are you talking to? Aliens. Look at all the... Holy fuck, she comes with a pack of nibs, too.

No way. Yes, I love nibs. I love nibs, too. So how the fuck does this work, man? This is your dessert, basically. No. Why can't I have a fucking nib? Because we gotta eat our meal first.

I'm taking this then. I'm gonna bore it for a little while. You might get it back next week. That's fine. Look at all the parts. Look, there's all your salt and pepper, maybe. Who the fuck are you trying to listen to on that thing? He's trying to talk to aliens. He's been trying to talk to aliens for three days. Alien radio station.

There's my crackers. Vegetable crackers. Get them open. No! That's my freeze-dried coffee and my condiments. Is that gum? I don't fucking have the gum in. We're supposed to do it in order and pretend we're... Is that... are you sure that's gum? There's the food. Gum?

Yes, that's gum. Put it in your mouth. See what you think. That's the best fucking gum I've ever had in my life, Pops. Well, there you go. What's this now? Lemon poppy seed pound cake. In a very attractive package. Ricky.

Like, why? Why are you fucking doing that? Three days he's been doing this. It's fascination. Look, there's somebody in the United States that's fucking, their full-time job is to try to find alien communications going on. That's not it.

What's that? Cheese spread with jalapenos. Oh, that sounds good. And a teriyaki beef stick. That's basically a pepperoni, Ricky. Holy shit. Look at that. Oh, man. This is good. Try that on for size. I bet you it's delicious.

Are we going to cook all this? No, no. That's just these are the snacks and then there's a hot meal I'm gonna show you how they make the hot meal here Basically, that's what I want to know. It says it's no heat or it says what is it called? No, look, so here's how it works. Flameless ration heater. Yes. Here's how it works. There's your food. Okay. Okay, and then there's this here little stand-up thing. And then this, that's not the, that's the hot beverage bag. You need this? No, I don't, it's flameless. Well, why is there fucking matches in this thing?

That's just to, you know. Is there like freeze-dried dope or something in this bag too? I don't think so. What the fuck is this? Just wait now. That's my, well that's my orange beverage powder. It's to make orange juice. And this is my. That all came in one fucking bag. Yes, it comes

in this pack here. Holy shit man. So there's the crackers. No, that's the sponge cake. Sponge cake. Oh, sponge cake sounds good. And then there's my crackers and my cheese spread. Check this out, shit tickets. Yeah, that's your arse wipe for after you eat it. You're coming in over this, man.

Cause apparently it does cause explosive. Oh, diarrhea? Okay, so where's my- Crushed chili peppers. My beverage, but Yeah, see? That's going to be delicious. This must be the thing the water goes in. Moist towelette.

That's to clean your bag off with. What did I drop? Here's some sugar. Here's some fucking coffee. Can you stop fucking with my stuff? I'm trying to get to work. I'm trying to give it back to you, man. I'm done with it.

Salt. This is going to be delicious, boys. I might never eat a regular meal again. Fuck! This is decent. Yes, thank you. I may fucking smash that thing, man. Annoying.

Don't smash my goddamn communicator. Yes, okay. Here it is. This is the fucking idiot. So what happens with this now? You just eat it? I think I peel this apart. Bulls.

Oh, this is made from bull. That's sweet now. That's bull fucking pepperoni? That's what it says. Where the fuck is the water going? I don't know. Vapors released by the activated heater contain hydrogen, a flammable gas. Do not place an open flame in the vapor.

See that? You could have blew us up already. Wouldn't have been my fault, man. Vapors released by activated... Holy fuck, that smells strong. Well, it's teriyaki, Ricky, and it's been wrapped up for probably years. Says it's a bull.

Hot water leakage can burn baby and cause a cold weather injury. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Operating instructions. Remove MRE pouch and paperboard sleeve from MRE. Tear off top of bag. Place MRE pouch in bag with heater. In your bag?

While holding MRE pouch and heater above lines on bag. Is this the lines? You know what? This is fucking extremely boring, bubs. Well, you guys go about your business and I'm just trying to figure out if I'm missing a fucking bag here or not. Okay, that's my cake. Here's the bag. Oh, let's see it. No, that's not the wrapper. That's the wrapper.

So you going away this year, Rick, or what? This says you got to put the water into here. Into this one? Do not overfill. I know, but I don't know how to get it open. Oh, tear the top off it, it says. Do you want me to read the fucking instructions? There we go.

This? Oh yeah, I got her now, baby. Okay, so this is where the water goes. Ricky, so you're going away this year. What's the story? Going away? Yeah For where?

Jail Oh, I thought you meant like the care No, man, we can't fucking travel right now Like, I'm I've been thinking about it Thinking I You know what? Probably

But right now it's still pretty warm Nights are getting a little cool But No, that's what I'm saying I'm thinking I'm thinking after Halloween Yeah I'm not. I'm thinking after Halloween.

I'm not a big fan of November. November sucks, man. December, not great. Christmas is cool. Christmas is fucking crazy, baby. Or the water disbursement measurement. You know what you should have, Bubs? You should have read this shit before we did that. You don't take it out of the package?

No, Ricky. It's the food. Look, the food goes in this pouch and see these little chemical things in here? Yeah. That goes in like that okay. Now we hold her like this above the lines. Do we have some water? Can I use your water Ricky? Yeah. Okay now we go like this and we don't want to overfill it. But see these little things? When the water hits them, it's going to cause a heaty reaction and heat up my food. Get it going.

This is how you do it out in the field. What the fuck can you mix water with the heat? That's bullshit. Chemicals. Ricky, chemicals. I can't tell how much I put in. Fuck, bubs. I overfilled it a tiny bit. chemicals. Ricky, chemicals. Oh, I can't tell how much I put in. Oh, fuck, Bob. I overfilled it a tiny bit.

Oh, here's something. What's it doing? There, she's right at the line. All right, here, put her in your little... She's right at the line. Now I put it in the little stand, I think. This is... Well, it's just to keep the heat in, I think. Like that. Oh! oh oh she's cooking popsicle that for a second no oh yeah here fucking Jesus I gotta fold the top over maybe put that right in the back of the thing maybe that's it I lost her lost 15 minutes I? 15 minutes, I think.

15 minutes. Yeah, we're just going to let that cook like that. And I mean, we could have an appetizer in the meantime. Yeah, you could also have a fucking crazy gunfight in 15 minutes. Holy fuck, they give you a pretty good pack of nibs, man. I know, Rick. It's not like just four or five. It's not like Halloween.

I mean, if you were laying out, you know, if you were a sniper or something, and you're out there for 14, 15 hours, imagine how fucking delicious this would be. That would be good. These nibs are pretty good, man. What the fuck are you doing, man? What? You just got, you're spilling it all over the place. Oh, sorry.

U.S. Hey. This is U.S. government property. Yes. This is what they give the. Are you allowed to have this shit? Warfighter recommended, warfighter tested, warfighter approved. Yes, it's for warfighters.

That's a healthy-sized cracker. Department of Defense, United States of America. Okay, now I've got my cheese spread with jalapenos. Nice. Let's get it all mushied up. Make sure she's mixed. Put it on your pants. You got scissors over here, Ricky?

Yep. Actually, I got two pairs. I just need one pair. Which one do you like better? Just either one. Yeah, I would have chosen these ones. Look at this, this is just gonna make it like squeeze cheese here.

Remember old squeeze cheese? Yeah. Doodly-doo. So I'm just out, you know, shooting at the Taliban, but I figured I'd take a break and enjoy. I didn't know they ate so fancy. This is not fancy, man. Look, what the?

All right, that doesn't look bad. I'm gonna enjoy a nice break. Yeah that's unbelievable. Is it? That's one of the best squeeze cheeses I've ever had. You serious? I guess we should have become snipers. Here Ricky do they have like nacho kits? You know how much I hate squirrels right? Try that. Yes we know that Ricky. That's delicious. Oh my god. I'm eating nibs. That's really good. I'm passing. Oh here. I don't want that fucking... Come on just have some chewy squeegees. No man.

Come on it's for the soldiers. They can have it. You know what? That's really fucking good. You probably get sick of it after a while, just like anything I guess. No, but Ricky, look. They've got, you know, look at all the flavors. Each pack would come with different, you know. So you've got to go through this every day now? Is this what you're doing? Is this your new lifestyle?

I'm going to eat these. I mean, why the fuck would I go to the grocery store when I've got spaghetti and meat sauce in a bag and I don't even need to waste, you know, propane on it? Are you sure this is working? Yep. Just leave it. Don't fuck with it, Julian.

It says to fucking leave it. I fucking touched it. Yeah, but you might have ruined it now. What is it? Fuck, are you trying to make bread rise or something? It's a chemical reaction, man. What is this, chili and macaroni? Don't touch it! Did I make the chili and macaroni busk? Don't touch it!

Did I make the chili and macaroni? I meant to make the egg and chicken noodles. Oh, for fuck's sakes. Oh, for fuck's sakes. That's alright, Ricky. This cock sucking squirrel, I don't know where he's from, but he hid 42 gallons of walnuts in a guy's Chevy Avalanche. Motherfucker. Fuck, that was...

How many? 42 gallons. That's a lot. Holy fuck, that's a lot of nuts. You think about a five gallon Fuck, that one sucks. How many? 42 gallons. That's a lot. Holy fuck, that's a lot of nuts. You think about a five-gallon bucket, that's a fuck of a lot of nuts. That's eight five-gallon buckets. No, it's not. What? How many gallons? 42.

Yeah, eight five-gallon buckets is 40. That's 40. It's more than that. Well, okay. 8.2 or whatever the fuck it is, Ricky. Jesus, man. It's a fucking lot anyway. What would that weigh?

I guess this fucking cocksucker does it every year, too. And he does all kinds of other vehicles around, and he likes the Chevy Avalanche. He only puts his nuts in that. Hey, I'm saying that's about... That's a lot of nuts, man. That's probably about 60 pounds. That's a fucking lot of running back and forth is what it is.

80 pounds. How many walnuts can fit in your ass? I mean, in your cheeks. In your cheeks? Oh, fuck. A squirrel? I wouldn't think more than four. Maybe six if they've got big... I wonder how many nuts in a gallon. They got big dizzy Gillespie's on them.

That's a fucking lot of tripping. A lot of walking and running. That is. I, you know what, boys, I can't stop eating the squeeze cheese. It's so nice. I like it too. I think I'll have a bit more as well. Bob, did you guys, did we do an intro for this fucking show? No. No.

It's up to you to do it. Baldwin and Perrick, after the director, everybody, as we sit here and watch Bubbles, eat army food. It's sniper food. Bore the's sniper food. It's not just for snipers, Ricky. It's all the war fighters. I just think it's a nice thing that they're out there

serving the country. Eating like pigs. Unlike some people that just take advantage of the system. Why the fuck can't we get some of this? And they get to eat delicious, you know. And they should get delicious shit. This is brilliant. Why the fuck don't they have this in jail? I mean, it And they get to eat delicious, you know, pretty delicious. And they should get delicious shit. This is brilliant. I agree.

Why the fuck don't they have this in jail? I mean, it's not like you're at, you know, fucking, you know, the keg or something, but it's still quite nice. The real test is in this baby right here. It's better than fucking McDonald's. So what else did we have? This is, oh, my carbohydrate electrolyte beverage powder orange drink. Mixing it with the vodka. No, I'm not putting it in my vodka.

This is a fucking wicked one, man. This Turkish man got fucking wasted, passed out in the woods, which certain people have been known to do. You do that every weekend. He wakes up. There's a fucking search party going on for someone that's missing mm-hmm so he's like hey fuck I'll help find this person didn't realize the missing person was him all I heard about that guy he was out in the road calling his name and

he was calling his name out too he's like no that's when he figured it out hey it's me they started calling his name and where's this guy from Turkey yeah those motherfuckers like to party in Turkey, man. I'd like to go there. Turkey? Yeah. Here. Let's see what this tastes like.

Tastes like tang. That's not too fucking... Doesn't look good, man. I think you put the whole pack in. Just for one bottle? I think so. That doesn't make good, man. I think you put the whole pack in. Just for one bottle? I think so. That doesn't make sense, man. Well, I'm missing a lot of it, too.

Oh, Jesus Christ. No, man, you're not good at that. I missed a lot of it, didn't I? She's going to be tasting you, though. See, now I'm addicted to this shit, and I can't get it. Can't get me, Taliban. I was losing my energy, but I just addicted to this shit and I can't get it. Can't get me, Taliban. I was losing my energy, but I just got my orange drink. Oh, yeah.

Got some curbs in me. Replenish my electrolytes so I can fucking snipe for another. Does that have electrolytes in it? Yes, it says right on the package. No way. Where is the package? I just had it. We need to get a hold of this Warnick company.

Warnick company. Kinkanady. Cincinnati, Ricky. It's good. Whoops! Careful. Careful. 12 ounces of water.

Half a canteen cup, man, to the pouch. So you need a canteen cup, man. Well, I did it that way, and it's pretty good. That fucking cheese is really good. That cheese is delicious. Oh, man, you're supposed to make it inside the fucking bag. That's why you do it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, they wouldn't have one of these. It's got a good flavor. Did you put your finger in there? No, I put it here. That's delicious. It tastes like ass. You know what? They don't get to do this in the field, but this is what they would probably like to do.

Bubz, I'm sure they got fucking booze over there. Well, not when they're out sniping. I would be fucking wasted if I was over there, man. All the time. There. Vodka and army. Dang. Holy fuck, man. A wood frog can hold

his piss for up to eight months. Can you imagine that? A wood frog? Did he say a wood frog or a wood duck? A wood frog. A wood frog. A wood dog? What'd you say? Wood duck. Oh, wood duck. There's no such... The frog or a wood duck? A wood frog. A wood frog. A wood dog? What'd you say? Wood duck. Oh, wood duck. There's no such... The fuck is a wood duck?

You've said that before, man. I think there is. There's no such thing as a wood duck. Hey, there might be, actually. Wood ducks. Now I gotta look up wood ducks. What would a wood duck be? So a wood frog...

How much wood would a wood duck duck of a wood duck a duck would? What did you say about his piss or his load? He could hold up... Yeah, he could probably hold his load for eight months as well. Eight months? So he could be drinking his face off. Nope. Not gonna fucking break the seal

yet, boys. I got eight months of drinking. That's fucking great. That would be like a superpower, man, for humans. They don't miss a beat in this package. Wood duck. Sugar. Salt. Freeze-dried coffee. Non-dairy creamer. Wood duck. Sugar. Salt. Freeze-dried coffee. Non-dairy creamer. Wood duck.

These guys are fucking good. Smart. They are good. They are professional. Excuse me. Food pack. Jesus, fuck. Ricky.

The Warnicks. You know what? What? You were dead on, man. There is a wood duck, and they are in Nova Scotia. I think my dad said we're related to them. You're what? You're related to them?

How can you be related to a duck? Tommy Wood Duck. Well, he's not a... I'm talking about an actual fucking duck, not a dickhead named Tommy the Wood Duck. Yeah, that's a beautiful duck. Tommy Wood Duck. That was his nickname, Ricky. His actual last name wasn't Wood Duck.

Why did they call him Wood Duck? Because he curved fucking ducks. He whittled. He was a nickname, Ricky. His actual last name wasn't Wood Duck. Why did they call him Wood Duck? Because he curved fucking ducks. He whittled. He was a whittler. Oh, I thought he was feeding wood to a duck one time. No, he used to whittle the ducks and sell them at the flea market. He didn't fuck a duck then? No, he never.

Well, a lot of people thought he was fucking ducks, man. I know. That's why he wasn't selling anything at the flea market. Everybody thought he was doing it with ducks, man. I know. That's why he wasn't selling anything at the flea market. Everybody thought he was doing it with ducks, but he wasn't. You see the video of the gorillas

having oral sex? Yes, I did. The what? The gorilla? The gorillas were having oral sex in front of all these kids. Oh, right.

I did watch that. Of course you did. You twisted fuck. No, it's not. It came on. What's that over there? Is that a plate? Yeah. No, it's a fucking football, bubs.

What the fuck, man? You've got to get your eyes tested. We're going to get your eyes tested, man. Give me a couple. Once in 50 fucking 20 years. You know what? Back to the gorillas. Was he sucking it off?

That's what I was going to ask. Or was he munching? No, no. He was sucking? Yeah. I thought he was eating. No off or was he munching no no he was he was sucking yeah i thought he was eating no he was honking on it yeah his head was kind of because the one that was on the back look i don't know it looked like it might have been a girl no it was a fella really i believe so guy on guy or they don't give a fuck man ap. Apes just fucking suck everything. I know that they jerk everything, but I didn't know they sucked the leg. They go down, like, where did they get the idea of going down on somebody?

Must have seen it somewhere. TV, I guess. I doubt they're watching fucking TV. Oh, my God, that's a nice cheese. You know what happened? There's people that are like, it's a fetish, I bet. People are going to these zoos and going, baby, guess what?

I want you to suck me off down the gorilla fucking bed. So they get down there. No one's around. They get sucked off. The gorillas are watching it, probably clapping. And they go, let's fucking do it. That's how that started. That's how the gorillas are learning?

Okay, whether he was sucking or licking or blowing, it was quick. He knew what he was doing, didnicking or blowing, it was quick. He knew what he was doing, didn't he? Holy fuck, boys. Is that warm? That's got some fucking heat to her. Let me see this. Just stick your hand up inside.

How long does this take? Don't burn yourself. Oh, yeah. See, you can find other uses for that. Oh. Okay, so it's a bit of an army pocket pussy Okay, buddy in the field for a long time, okay, my do bag chili macaroni before you ate it No, you wrote in the fire. Did I go this many years not know about these?

I know Ricky fucking smart. They got them sent over to the swearing that place there. I Hope they guys know there's a place in California called crater diamonds National Parish Fucking smart. They got them sent over to the Swearin' It place there. I hope they... Did you guys know there's a place in California called Crater Diamonds National Parish? No. Or State Parish? Why, who cares? Well, you can find fucking diamonds there. This woman last week found a 4.38 carat yellow diamond.

No, she fucking did. Just walking around. Yeah. Yeah, but that's... There's probably millions of people go through there And one person found a fucking diamond It's not I can already hear the gears in your head turning

To buy a plane ticket to go down to the park Where's this at, California? Because when you're baked, you can see shiny shit good I believe you And I think we should probably test this out Me too I'm willing to go, man How long's that been cooking?

Four minutes. Ten minutes? Fifteen? Four minutes. Maybe longer. It's got to be longer than four minutes. How long is it supposed to be cooked for? I don't know.

Fifteen, I think? I'd like to go find a diamond. I would love to go find a diamond. Look, it's got the whole breakdown of what vitamins are in here, too. Awesome. Give us the highlights. Well, your cheese spread's got your vitamin A. Nice.

So does your peanut butter. I can tell. I feel better already. Peanut butter? One of them here has peanut butter. I bet it's the good kind, too. Probably. Doesn't say how long.

I think it was... This was fucked. Chili and macaroni. A man glued his girlfriend's eyes shut. He fucked up. The eye drops were crazy glued. Oh, my God. What?

Fuck up. I guess I shouldn't be laughing, but that's... Oh, that's fucked. What, they glued the eyelids shut? He thought he had eye drops, and he put fucking crazy glue in. That's not funny, boys. Fuck. He deserves it, that man.

No, he did it to his girlfriend. Oh, fuck. Yeah, she did not deserve it. No, she did not deserve it. He fucked up. Did he break up? Did they break up or what? I got a feeling that maybe it wasn't great for the relationship.

No. I don't know for sure. I don't know how you'd even fix them. How would you get the glue off? There must be an anti-gluer-thon. There must be a glue-er-thon, yeah. Oh, once it's dried though it would be like, oh my fuck. You know what crazy glue looks like when it's dried?

It's all... Oh, it's bad, man. ...hurd and opaque. You'd have to cut them open, man. I don't... Yeah, you know what? That's a weird one. Your eyes probably wouldn't be the same.

I think that's probably. Do you ever hear, Bubbs, do you ever hear about a, what? Is it hot? Let me see. Stick your hand up inside. That's fucking, that's pretty fucking hot. Let me feel it again. Up in there, Ricky. Oh, yeah, that feels nice.

Ricky. Well, I mean, it just feels weird. You just sound it weird the way you said it. Bubs, you know how they say that black hats are bad luck if they cross or pass? That's not true. Not in Germany, baby, because they cross from right to left is considered good luck. Yeah, that's not true either. It's got nothing to do with anything.

Would you guys have sex with a robot? Yes. No. No, man, I wouldn't. I promise you, I would not. Pretty much said yes. Really quickly. Could you fall in love with a robot? Well, there's been movies, man, where

there's like fembots and shit. Well, this new study finds or found? Either one. Depends on what your next set of words are, Ricky. 42%. Yeah. Either one depends on what your next set of words are, Ricky. 42%. Yeah. Either one.

Okay. We're going to go with finds. New study finds 42% people would have sex with a robot. And 39% said that they could have a romantic relationship. See, that's fine. No, it depends on the robot. If it's one of those old 50s robots, big square fucking metal thing with the fucking... Have a romantic relationship. See, that's fun. Well, it depends. No, it depends on the robot. If it's one of those old 50s robots, big square fucking metal thing with the fucking... Twiggy.

You would not want to do that because you could hurt yourself on a jagged piece of metal. Okay, what would you if it was a nice looking robot? Well, there's robots now that you can't even tell if it's a human or not. 48% of men said they wanted to sleep with the robot. 43% thought they could fall in love with it just like julian all right you know here's the stat we need to find out how many men in jail would a robot a hundred percent there we go see that's all wrong it's not accurate i don't think i could fall in love with that robot oh jesus that was the gases i wasn't

supposed to oh whoa what did what happens now i't supposed to smell. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happens now? I was trying to smell the food, and I thought it was food, so I took a big inhale. But it's in an enclosed package. And then it started burning. That's buffs. That package is not even open. No, I know.

It started burning because I inhaled straight hydrogen. Well, should we bring it to the hospital or something? No, no. I think I'm all right. I didn't know that bats could kill you. This fucking guy in Illinois got bit on the neck. Dead. What? Oh, shit. That's not, no. Rabies. Rab all right. I didn't know that bats could kill you. This fucking guy in Illinois got bit on the neck. Dead. Oh, shit, that's not, no.

Rabies. Rabies? Not done yet, boys. I didn't know rabies were so bad. Rabies are not good for you, man. 99% fetal. You don't want to get started foaming in the fucking mouth. Yeah, I thought that was all just movie shit, but I guess it's true.

No, that's one side if it's warmed up, but the other side's not. Motherfucker. Oh, I was probably supposed to flip it. So how long do you get for lunch break when you're a sniper? Well, you're your own boss, Ricky, when you're out fighting like that. You can sort of whenever, you know. If there's people actually shooting at you and you're in a firefight, you probably don't take your lunch break.

I can't believe it's fucking October the 8th already. Yeah, me too. There's some pretty fucking big people got born on the 8th of October. I've been thinking about people getting born, like, on different days. Yeah? We've been doing this fucking stupid podcast, whatever you want to call it, for years now. Have we? Yes.

It's been years. Yeah. Are we keep fucking, are we keep going through the same shit every year? I don't know. No, it's not the same date every Friday. That's true. I never thought of it that way. Okay, continue on.

Yeah, dum-dum. Fuck off, bubs. Paul Hogan. Hulk Hogan? Paul. Oh, crocodile, none of these. That's not a knife. This is a knife.

Is that him or no? Yeah, but that's not a knife. This is a knife. Is that him or no? Yeah, but that's not a very good Aussie fucking accent. Do it again, Ricky. That's not a knife. This is a knife. That's better. That's a lot better. What's he say about, you know, cooking, you know? What's he want to put on the grill? A skunk?

No. Put another skunk on the bar grill? A skunk? Nope. Put another skunk on the barbie? Is that it? That's it. Maybe. It's on the barbie. They eat skunks like crazy down there. Fucking Paul Hogan.

He's a good guy. Is he though? Chevy Chase. Chevy Chase. Is he funny? Not a lot of people like him. No. They think he's...

A lot of people are saying he's a fucking cunt. He's a funny cunt. He is funny, man. I'd like him. I don't care if he's a cunt. Bella Thorne, Matt Damon. Matt Damon, Julian. Whoa.

Don't be giving me the woos over Matt Damon. I don't give a fuck. Both of you guys. Or Matty, as you call him. Yeah. Want to watch a Matty movie tonight, you always say? Walter Gretzky. Good guy.

He's dead. Rest in peace. Rest in peace to Walter. Or Walter. On this day in 64, Ringo Starr passed his driving test. Did he? In 64. Ringo.

On this day, John Lennon released Imagine. Pretty big song. I think it went to number one. It might have. Quite arguably the greatest song ever written. How's that? Okay, I don't know if it's fully hot. Cute, man.

We're going to try it out. Where's my shizzies? Okay, I didn't know this. You know the fucking Ramones? Yeah. That wasn't their real names. No, Ricky. CJ Ramone was Christopher Ward. He got't their real names. Oh, Ricky. C.J. Ramone was Christopher Ward.

He got born on this day. I can't wait to see what this shit looks like, man. Bruno Mars, guess what his real handle is. What? Mmm. Peter Gene Hernandez. Doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Holy fuck, that looks good.

Holy shit, man. That looks like fucking five-star gourmet shit. It smells fucking delicious. Nick Cannon, you had a crush on him for a little bit, Julian? He's got porn from this day. What are you talking about, man? Who's Nick Cannon? Nick Cannon, he was banging Mariah Carey.

He's got a couple of kids with her, man. I'm not a big Mariah Carey fan. She's fucked. Very talented, but she is fucked up. Well, she's probably just got to, you know. Bang or not bang. That's the question. I don't think she's fucked.

It's just a drug problem, I guess. I don't think she's on that crazy shitty margin. Salt. If I was out in the field, I would put just a. Oh, a little bit of pepper. Got any. See, luckily. Jesus Christ, that came out quick. Okay, man No, I'm gonna mix it in Ricky. Where was the pepper at? I don't know if there is pepper

I was just guessing. Oh, this is the cheese. It's gotta be pepper It's gonna get fucking cold by the time you I I know. Where's my smoke? Chemical fucking bag. Here we go. The moment of truth. They don't skimp on... Like, I thought it was mostly macaroni and a tiny bit of sauce. There's a lot of fucking sauce there. Delicious. No, it's not, is it?

Yes, it is. Fantastic. You know what? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We got smoke coming out of the bag. What? What the fuck does that mean? Are we gonna die? This guy. No, no, no. Your cooker pack. It's gonna knock us whoa, whoa. We got smoke coming out of the bag. What? What the fuck does that mean? Are we going to die?

This guy. No, no, no. Your cooker pack. He's going to knock us out, man. Oh, that's the, yeah. Maybe we want to close that up, bud. Oh, you know why? Because it's boiling the fucking water now.

Oh, Steve. I thought it was like fucking poisonous gases. No, I hope not. Yeah. Poison gas in the trailer. I think it's just steam because now that the food's not in there. Huff, take a huff off it. You know what?

Fucking delicious, but cold. Yeah, well because look at this fucking thing. No, there is a part that's hot though, Ricky. Here. Don't cut those, man. No, no, I'm just getting them out of the... Getting them out there so the water so this is the reaction yeah that's the hot part don't grab it yeah it's you know what it's steaming man

there is part of this that's warm ricky it's kind of like those things you put in your feet and your hands to make them warm hot pockets are they hotter than hot pockets i don't know but that smells not great oh Oh, Bob, you probably... I gotta go. Yeah, we should probably vacate. Let's open the windows in this fucking place. Yeah, because we could be inhaling hydrogen. Anyway, if I had known about these, I probably would have...

Oh, just wait, boys. I might have signed up for the military. Just wait. Dessert. Here, everybody have a nice piece of... Lemon poppy seed cake. Jesus Christ. They deserve it, but man, I had no idea. You know what?

Why don't they have food like this on the airplane? Unbelievable. Snap that off and try it. I don't want this. Snap that off and try it? I'm hungry, man. Oh, snap the corner off and try it. That's fucking good.

Man, these guys, they got it figured out. Delicious. All right, do got it figured out. D-Lashes. All right, do we want to thank anybody? I want to thank the fucking Warnick Company. Let's thank the company. Good going. I want to thank everybody that's helping us. Are we done?

I think so. Good. I'm going to fucking eat the rest of this. Eat it up, bud. I'll fight you for it. I'm gonna go get a fucking... I'm gonna go through a drive-thru or something. Don't eat that. What the fuck was in there?

That was stuck to it and it says do not eat. So we're lucky. You know what that is? Some kind of a fucking... No, that keeps it moist. Just like your mother.