Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 21 - Christmas Podca$h

Episode Date: December 23, 2015

It's Christmas Day and the Boys are ready to unwrap their presents! They also discuss Ricky's new body, chugging sour milk, and the dangers of eating Ricky's breakfast wings. There's also a visit from two drunky Christmas elves... Episode 21 is brought to you by Jukasa vapor products!  

Holy fuck, boys. Okay, here we are. Woo! Are we going? All right. Turlapart Boys podcast. It's Christmas. Podcast.

Episode whatever. Fucking 20 something. It's the fucking Christmas day. It's the Christmas. That's all people need to fucking know, right? All right, well, I'm just trying to, you know. The Christmas episode is underway, boys. And I'm awake.

Ricky, Ricky, I think that's the first one where you're actually conscious. Boys, I'm going to probably pass out during this thing. No, you're not. I'll keep jamming. What a fucking night, boys. Unbelievable. It's been a good year. It's been probably one of the best years I've had in a long time. I'll keep driving. What a fucking night, boys. Unbelievable. It's been a good year.

It's been probably one of the best years I've had in a long time. We are partying. Yeah. You're supposed to cheers, boys. Like, fucking. Okay. You can cheers. Fucking relax.

Cheers, fuckers. You Christmas, you fuckers. Cheers, boys. Christmas day. It's Christmas time. There's no need to be afraid Hey, man, pull my pull my cock Ricky here stand up fuck

Wow fuck my leg on the table Hey boys new fridge, boys? New fridge. It's very nice. Yeah. Fucking... Ju Casa. Fucking hooked me up. Not big on the color, but... I just don't know.

Like, did you smell inside this fucking thing? It does smell like somebody took a shit in there, I must say, but... So like, when you guys are drinking from those bottles in those cans, do you smell shit on the cans? It smells like a running crock of this. Took a fucking shit in there. A what? A running crock of this. What the fuck is that?

Ricky. Here, pull me a crock. Ricky, just wait. Just wait. What's going on with your pants? I forgot, yeah. I took so many fucking weed burners last night, boys. I think I grew.

You didn't grow that much, man. Ricky! What the fuck? It's like tighter and I grew, boys. There's no fucking way you grew that much overnight. Ricky, what? You're not growing anymore. Here, just let me here. I think I can solve the mystery. I think I can solve the mystery. Ricky, what did you wash your pants in?

I think I can solve the mystery. I think I can solve the mystery. Ricky, what did you wash your pants in? Well, I was fucking thinking. I don't need to do laundry this Christmas, so I dropped my pants off to Darryl in fucking jail. He washed them for me. Darryl?

Darryl works in the kitchen. Yeah. So what did he do? Did he put your pants in the dishwasher? Everything, man. It's fucking clean. It smells great. That's like one of those big, crazy commercial dishwashers, man.

That's not for water. Yo, here, just wait. Stand up here one more time. I just need to see these things. Pull my car quickly. What do I do? Just pull the tip of your car. Jesus, no, you fucked it up, man.

Fuck. Oh, here, look. Here's another one. Here. What, am I standing up here again? You just making fun of my new body that's grown? Ricky, you didn't fucking grow, man. You think you grew three inches in one fucking night from eating?

Can you imagine what that would be worth, Ricky, if you could do that? Eat my brownies and grow three inches in one night. That'd be good in some areas, wouldn't it? You'd make them kill it. Here, how does this work? So, Ricky, do you grow more down there as well, your unit? I don't know. Is the rig a little larger today as well?

He's checking. I can't believe you're fucking checking, man. Why would you ask him? No, I don't think that grew. Well, you didn't grow then, man. I wish it would have fucking grown. Man, these are all fucked up. Oh, there's one. Yeah, so you got to... You got to pull. You got to blow your fucking finger off.

You don't go digging around. You just pull it. Are you sure? Yeah, that's why the things are glued to the thing. There you go. Fuck, what a smell that is. Oh, there's like a little president in here. For those of you listening to the podcast and not watching it on SwearNet...

Sorry, Pops. What is it, Ricky? Ricky got a little present in his... I'm the king. Oh, fuck. Is there presents in these things? I'm the king of Christmas, boys. You are the king of Christmas, Ricky. Okay, we should get moving here, shouldn't we?

OK. What are we talking about? I growed. I grewed. I got growed. You didn't grow, man. Growed. You got growed?

What is it? Your bub's just a little, uh, one like Ricky's. Well, he's already the king of Christmas, so what the fuck am I gonna be? You can be the queen. I'm not the queen of anything. You can be the queen of the food. Queen of Christmas.

Because as you know, Christmas is about getting fucking drunk and high as fuck and eating good food with your friends and family, which we've been doing all goddamn night and will continue to do all day. Speaking of which, boys, it's time for breakfast chicken wings with my famous jelly log.

They're soon to be famous. Ricky, how could your jelly log be famous when all you do is open a can of cranberries and dump it on the... See, not everyone knows the secret, though, to a nice Christmas chicken wing. secret, though, do they? A nice Christmas chicken wing. Well, Ricky, those fucking lines from the can are still in it.

I don't think it was really that big of a secret. Maybe I canned it. I made it, canned it, and then canned it. You didn't make that, man. You guys. Ricky. Oh, shit. What'd you make out of, Ricky?

What is the main ingredient in that right there? Just name one fucking ingredient. Jelly. Jelly. ingredient in that right there just won't name one fucking ingredient jelly jelly there's no it's a fucking cranberry log and there's definitely cranberries and it isn't there yeah but you didn't know that that's the point it could be a flavor that looks a little better let's see the fucking lines do that and Ricky he's not even shocked you're gonna give everybody food poisoning I like that. That looks a little better. I don't see the fucking lines. I'll do that. Ricky, he's not even cooked. You're gonna give everybody food poisoning.

What's that? What's food poisoning? You never heard of food poisoning. You've had food poisoning. What do you mean though? Food is food. Poison is poison, right? Yes, Ricky, but if you eat bad food, you can get poisoned.

Do you remember the time you ate the fucking green pepperoni and had the shits for three days? Oh, fuck, that sucked. Food poisoning. That's what that was? Yes. Yes, Ricky, if you eat, like, all rotten food and, you know, things with...

Speaking of that, how long has this fucking thing been sitting out raw? I fucked it. I cooked it at some point through the night. Ricky, they're still frozen. Not that bad, boys. Ricky. Jesus Christ. He's eating frozen chicken wings, and he doesn't know what food poisoning is. I do now.

You eat food that's not good and you get sick. Doesn't kill you though. I fucking dare food to try to kill me. You can make me sick, but you're not gonna fucking get me. Well, Ricky, don't test it. Like, don't test your theory. You can fucking die. Tony, boys, I don't know what you're missing.

These are fucking great. Can we put them in the oven maybe? Let's put them back in the oven. Thaw them out at least. can fucking die. Tony boys, I don't know what you're missing. These are fucking great. Can we put them in the oven maybe? Let's put them back in the oven, thaw them out at least. Get them cooking in their own juices. That's pretty much fucking cooked right through. Well, how come some of them have ice crystals on them? They've only got mixed up, because you know what?

I cooked a bunch and I was like, fuck, I don't know if this is gonna be enough, because I was fucking hungry. So then I took more out to cook and I can't remember if I put the non-cooked with the cooked. Why wouldn't you just separate them, man? That's the normal fucking sensible thing to do. Because gunpowder is when you're on fucking 10 weed and hash brownies and you've smoked a bunch of joints. Plus you've consumed maybe 13 to 14 beer, half a pint, and a couple of Caesars.

You don't always make correct oven decisions. All right. Just gotta find the ones that are hot, Bob. Here. I know, but Julian. Take it. Think about it. This one's pretty much good to go.

I don't want one you've been eating, Ricky. Like, do you know how fucking dangerous this is, eating food that... That one was gorgeous. Can you imagine if he ran a restaurant? No. Oh, fuck. Oh, sorry I served half of those.

They're frozen, are they? Sorry about that. Sir, didn't mean to kill you and your family. It was botulism. You're not going to get... Fuck, oh, you might throw up for a couple days. Fuck off. Jesus Christ.

You know what? If I wasn't running a restaurant, a guy comes in and he's like, man, you might throw up for a couple days. Fuck off. Jesus Christ. You know what? If I wasn't running the restaurant, guy comes in, he's like, man, what the fuck? You served me chicken when it wasn't fucking cooked, and I got sick. Okay, fuck off. Come back and have a cooked one, fucking pussy. Want to throw up?

Ooh, that's tough to take. If there's anybody out there with any corporations that are looking for a head of customer service, I think you just found your man right there. Yep, you'd be perfect for the job. You'd be great working at the complaint department, Ricky. You imagine. Listen, I bought the...

Who cares? Fuck off. Oh, you bought that, did you? And it wasn't fucking to your liking? Fuck off. Save companies a lot of money, wouldn't I? You might, Ricky. That might be your calling. Getting paid to tell people to fuck off.

That'd be a fucking great job. How many people did you tell to fuck off today? A lot. Got a bonus. You think you'd get a bonus if you told more people to fuck off than you were supposed to? Well, companies like, okay, you gotta tell 10 people to fuck off.

Five of them are gonna be pissed off and are probably gonna want their money back. But if you can tell five others to fuck off and they don't want their money back, you just save the company this much money and you'll get a percentage of that. He's out of his fucking... Ricky, you're under god damn...

No, man. You can't do that. That's not the way you do it. Although I must say, if I was phoning the company and said, you know what? I just fucking chugged a gallon of your milk and it was solid inside and I threw up everywhere. I want fucking free milk. If they told me to fuck off I'd be going down to the milk place and say listen you fuckheads I just drank this fucking thing and I

threw up everywhere give me some fucking milk so yeah I might might backfire guys I fucked up Merry Christmas I can't talk about this shoot anymore, man. I don't even know what he's talking about. I don't. I'm lost with it. How about we open some presents? I'm just curious about one thing, though. I just need to just ask. Oh, fuck. Here we go. You said you called and said I just chugged the whole milk and it was solid inside.

Well, solid, chunky pieces, yes. You remember that. But, Ricky, why would you keep chugging it? Why would you keep going, man? Because I was so fucking hungover. It was the only thing in the fridge. I needed liquid. And I just started chugging.

And about halfway through, I'm like, holy fuck, there's some chunky, solid shit in here. But my brain didn't tell my arm to stop pouring it into my fucking mouth. And it just kept going in. And then it was gone. And you kept sucking it back. And I had it. And hopefully your brain told your swallower to keep going in and then it was gone you kept sucking it back and i had it

hopefully your brain told your swallower to keep going did it yes unfortunately but then it was down and i realized what the fuck it was and it came back up just as quick ferociously okay what was it it was uh spoiled milk is that what they call it he's fucked. So about halfway is when you figured out, oh, fuck, this is going bad. Yeah. But your brain didn't tell your arm to come down, so you just had to keep chugging her.

Did you puke after that? I fucking puked everywhere. Coated the fucking walls in the kitchen, came outside, coated the fucking shitmobile. It was awful. Whole night of drinking and eating food and then a fucking half a gallon of percolated milk or whatever the fuck, sour milk, thank you. I couldn't come up with that word.

And fuck. So Ricky, who chugs two liters of milk, by the way? Who does that? No, it was a one-liter size, I believe. Which is a lot. Nothing in my brain would tell me ever a morning I'm hung over to chug a liter of milk.

What the fuck is this thing? It looks like Robocop's cock. Or Rogocock's... You know what I mean? It looks like a metal cock. What is it? What is it, actually? It's a feed pen, man.

Two cars? Oh, this is old. These guys. The fridge people. The people that gave us the secondhand fridge. What does it do? Just fire it up, man. Press that button.

What's in it? Just keep it pressed. It's just like tobacco. Shit, man. Press that button. What's in it? Just keep it pressed. It's just like tobacco and shit. Fuck. You smoking there? It's nicotine. It's nicotine shit, man. Try it out, Rick.

You push the button right here. All right. And it cocks up the... That's nice. It's fucking got a good weight to it. That's nice. It's fucking got a good weight to it. Eww. It's kind of nice.

What is that? It tastes like vanilla ice cream. No it doesn't, does it? Kind of. Pass it over. Here. It's Robocop's cock. You're sucking it. That was fucking, that was nice.

Casa. Nice little breakfast. Alright. Wait a second, how come you have this sitting around and that name on there? Because I'm working something out. What the fuck are you talking about? I've got something on the go here, boys. And I can't tell you right now because you could fuck it all up.

Does it involve money between these fucking guys and you? Hopefully. Hopefully it'll involve money. And we'll talk about that when it happens. Yeah, because we're fucking getting some of that money. If something happens, I'll tell you guys. I'm working shit out. We never get paid.

Keep smoking that. You can smoke it a few more times. It'll be nice. All right, what are we doing here? Do you guys want to give away some presents here to each other? That's for Ricky. Right on, boys. I didn't know you guys got any gifts. We're getting right into presents, are we? Let's do it, man. I got you guys gifts, too.

You're gonna fucking hopefully... Okay, let's do it in order. This is... Who's this now? This is Ricky for me. To Ricky from Julian. There you go. Ah, fuck, Bob! She fucking just spilled my beer all over me. For fuck's sake. All over my skin-tight fucking short pants.

Fuck. Here. My ass. Sorry, Ricky. Jesus, Murphy, what did I do? Dragon's Claw. That's an oven mitt. Here's one for your cock.

Thanks, man. You're welcome. Did you want to dry that off? Fuck you. Fuck. Fuck. Sorry, Ricky. It's all right, pups.

Hope I didn't ruin Christmas for you. This is Christmas, man. It was a nice one. You know, it just feels like I get fucking reamed out by a dragon's cock. I know. I know. I know's all right, bubs. Hope I didn't ruin Christmas for you. No, just feels like I get fucking reamed out by a dragon's cock. Since it's Christmas, I'll get you a fucking drink, Rick. Is there anything in this that soaks up beer?

Lahey. Where's Lahey? When you need him. Don't fucking even mention that shit. He'd fucking drink that off there. All right. where were we? You good? Put these down so my shoes don't get all beard. Okay. Rattles a little bit. Is it a game of Parcheesi? What? No, man. It's not.

How do you even know what Parcheesi is, Ricky? Didn't we used to play that at Christmas time? I've never fucking played it. No, it's a... It's like one of those things Baby Mo has where you move it. No, man, it's sideways. Flip it around. You know what that is, Ricky? Mo...

Melissa and Doug. To what? Melissa and Doug. What is it? Is this a kid's toy for baby Mo? No, Ricky, it's called an abacus. It's for counting. This is how they used to count. It's like a calculator, man. It's like an old calculator.

Basically, before they had... You know, so look, when you're counting, look. Okay. Use these. These are your first row. So count to, you know, so look, when you're counting, look. Okay. Use these. These are your first row, so count to, you know, count to six. So what would this be, like $5 bills? No, Ricky. Okay, so. Use the top row to count to six.

All right, so I'm going to buy six pounds of weed. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, now... How many pounds do I have left? Well... One, two, three, four. Okay, so we've got ten in each row. Actually, I don't know how to work it.

I don't know how to... I was hoping you knew how to do this. I can't remember now. You go to the next row, and these are your tens down here, I think. Okay. I don't know, Ricky. It's for fucking row and these are your tens down here, I think. Okay. I don't know, Ricky. It's for fucking counting anyway. We'll figure it out, man. I'll look it up and figure out how to work it.

Thanks, Julian. It means a lot, man. You're welcome, man. I didn't know you were gonna get me a fish. Is this for me? From you? It's for you, buddy. This took me a while to find. I had to go on eBay and... Two bubbles from Julian.

It took a long time to find this motherfucker. Decent. Decent. This is the fucking... Crane I used to have. It's exactly the same crane, man. I had this crane... when I was a little guy, didn't I? Yep.

Decent. Yeah, Yes I remember this fucking thing. Yeah you might have to tweak it up. Ben, square work gloves you could play. Oh nice. Pretend you're actually the dude doing it. Nice. Tissuing paper is not good at cleaning up beer. No Ricky it's not absorb. That's why. It's not who? It's not absorbent. Look at this, I could lift my beer. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. If you guys wanted the, uh, some cheeses and fine,

the finest pepperonis all over the world, imported from Cicero. Cicero? Jalovy. There we go. That's not, that's not brother's pepperoni, is it? That's imported from Sycoroth. Well, okay, you caught me in a lie, guys. It's brother's and it's fucking delicious.

Okay. All right, what's that? Thanks, Julian, thanks for the crane. Yeah, it worked good. I'm gonna probably put that right here. Here we go. This is for you, Julian. To Julian from Bubbles. Feels like Christmas Day here.

That's so funny. Julian from bubbles feels like Christmas Day here You know the joke oh when you get a bunch of stuff like oh, it's just like Christmas Day, but it is Funny man Oh, fuck. Did you ever... Why? That's not even funny, man. It's like... I love when Ricky laughs at his own... You know what he's laughing at, right?

Oh, I know. Yeah. Because he thinks he outsmarted the whole thing. All right. Thanks, Buffs. Check that out. Look at that. Holy fuck.

I'm going to have to turn that on. You're easy to shop for. Easy to shop for. Yeah. Oh, man, I'll try it on. Later. That's going to really change things up, eh? Well, that's a bit of a V in there.

I'm not sure if I'm going to like it or not, but I'll check it out. No, I just thought it might change you up a little bit, you know, get you a nice V-neck. Thanks, man. OK, Ricky. This is for you. To Ricky.

Holy fuck. Brown bottles. I know what it is. Just by the shape. What is it? It's either a stop sign or a fucking Japanese checkers board. Okay. That's the only two things it could be if it was a circle.

No, but it's got an It's got an angle circle. Angle circle. Here, Andy, do you need help? You know what? It wasn't an angle circle. It was actually a perfect circle. Oh, fucking right on, Bob. Check that out, Julian. That is fucking badass. Check that out.

Steering wheel cover. Nice. With real fake wood on it. Except a bunch of the wood... Oh, it's not fucking... We're gonna have to take it back. Why? Because this side's only this long wood.

This side's this long wood. No, Ricky. Why the fuck would they do that now? Oh, boy, if you put this at the fucking top and the bottom... Ah, okay. Or like that, it's not like that. So it's just a packaging problem. That's the grippy part right there, man. body. Or like that. It's not like that. So it's just a packaging problem. That's the grippy part right there, man.

Okay, you're right. It's a packaging problem. Are you guys that fucking high? I am, son. It's not a packaging problem, Ricky. Look, you just turn the package. That's what I mean. They fucked it up.

There. Now, does that make more sense? Way more sense. Yeah. That's nice, man. Isn't that awesome? Look, that's like from a distance. When you go by, Ricky, people are going to be like,

he's got a very nice real wooden steering wheel in his car. From a distance, I mean when you get up close you can tell. Fuck man, just imagine me driving with that saw. Holy fuck, can I ever whip the wheel around now boys? Yeah! It's gone. Is it extra grippy inside? Has it got like teeth? What? Well how do you tooth it got, like, teeth? What? Well, how do you tooth it on or get it on?

You just pop it over, Ricky, and then it's hold. Just slide it over, man. Yeah, but what if it slides around? Like, if there's butter or grease on my steering wheel, this will just slide around. So I'll be like, oh, fuck, I'm trying to turn left. My car's just going straight, right? Jesus, I never thought about that.

Just duct tape it or something. Yeah, well... No, no, you know what? I'll make it work. I'll put a fucking... If I just put one screw in each side, it'd be perfect. Ricky, you can't put a screw through your steering wheel. Then when you hold the fucking thing, it'll be sticking out the back and you'll get jabbed. There's gotta be a way to do it. I'll figure something out.

Well look, this is grey. So when we put it on, why don't we just duct tape that right to the wheel. That'll look cool. Alright. I'm in. Decent. I'm pretty proud of that. Well, boys, I hate to say that maybe the best got saved for last, but I got some fucking presents for you two guys, too.

What? I didn't have a lot of money this year. All right, that's fine. So I thought it might mean more if I made your gifts. So I was doing a get and learn with Ricky, and I made you guys a couple fucking beauties. Fucking way, man. If you watch the get and learn, you can actually learn

how to make these fucking things at home if you don't have a lot of money. You wrapped this yourself, man? Well, I've used recycled and... No, it looks too nice. Recycled and... It looks great, man. There's no fucking way you did this.

You want to go one at a time? Yeah. Who should go first? I guess you can go first, Bubz, if you want. I got a good feeling what that is. Do you? Well, I think it feels like a tennis racket. You know what?

Next year I'll try to make you a tennis racket. This is just something to put in your shed. When you're, uh... You know, now when you come home, you're like, Fuck, there's my shed. Let me see this fucking thing. It's awesome, Ricky! Thanks, Pops.

You made that for me? It took me a lot of time, a lot of glue. That's one of the nicest presents I've ever got. He's got a lot of eyes, eh? I fucked the eyes up a little bit, yeah. I didn't realize those were all individual eyes, and I was trying to make one big eye. So that's a cat then, right?

What do you mean, is it a cat? It looks exactly like a fucking cat, with little furry paws and tail. What's he made out of, Ricky? Ah, fuck, one of his legs came off. No, it didn't. It was four. What's he made out of?

How did you do him? Well, most of the base, you start with wood. Yeah. And then I didn't have a glue gun, so I had to use a blowtorch and glue sticks and glued the legs on and glued the head to his body. Did a good job, man. And then I put the ears on and then I put a bunch of glue all over his body and I covered it with sawdust And then once the sawdust was on there, I fucking spray-painted him used some spaghetti for whiskers painted black

spaghetti a Julie Jew for nose And a bunch of eyes to make two eyes. It's awesome, Ricky. I can't. That is nice, man. I'm gonna put that and then I dig this in the ground, obviously. Exactly, yeah.

So it looks like he's standing. I hope you don't scare away your cats, bubs. No, they're gonna, I'll have to introduce them to them slowly. Yeah, yeah. Get them used to it. That's awesome, Ricky. Thank you.

You're welcome, bubs. Love you, buddy. Thank you. All right, up to you,. Yeah. That's awesome, Ricky. Thank you. You're welcome, bubs. Love you, buddy. Thank you. All right. See you, bubs. I mean, Rick. It's from Ricky. Sorry.

You're going to fucking... This is going to be a game changer for you, my friend. Seriously? You're no longer going to be... Well, you're no longer going to be something.

Check that fucking thing out. It's to hold your drink. You wear it so you're no longer a one-armed man. Are you fucking kidding me? No. Hey, let me see it, Julian. That is fantastic. How do you put the thing on? Oh, here you go. So you put this arm up.

It's like a bra. Yeah. Crack man this arm up in there. It's like a bra. Yeah. Crack man. And then that like that, yeah. And then when your arm gets tired of holding your drink, just go, ah, fuck. I just got to put that screw in a little further there. That fits right in there.

I even checked it with your glass. Here, just wait. How would I get the glass out right now? I saw a pair of pliers here a minute ago, didn't I? No, that's lighter. No, I did. Big I get the glass out right now? I saw a pair of pliers here a minute ago, didn't I? Uh, no, that's lighter. No, I did. Big problem. What is it, man?

How do you get the glass out? No, no, it's the same size. I've tested it multiple times. Uh... Oh, fuck! Fuck! That was awesome. Pops!

Jesus, boys! Boys! Pay attention to what you're doing over there. What the fuck is going on in here? Fuck! Look, you got fucking honey mustard all over you, boys. Boys, pay attention to what you're doing over there. What the fuck is going on in there? Look, you got fucking honey mustard all over me, man. You spilled two beers. It must have been a ghost. All over me.

Did I dump me too? Yeah. Fuck's sake. Fucking Christmas ghost. That was the Christmas ghost that did that? Well, it's the only... It was you fucking dickweeds. Only a hastily nation. Was it the Christmas ghost that did that? Well, it's the only... It was you fucking dickweeds.

Only a escalation. Well, boys, I hope you're happy. Once we get that screen put in, that's gonna be a beauty for your life, my friend. Julian, I think you should wear that all the time. I mean, Bob's... You guys wanna see what else I made? What, man? I made all my decisions.

You should leave that on, Julian. It's such a beautiful gesture by Ricky. It would be rude not to. Well, let's put it on. But you know, keep it on. Looks fucking good. Do you like the chrome? You gotta get, yeah, it's beautiful.

And the black matches the black. You gotta get some of that screw. It's really nice, Joanne. It's definitely your colors, man. I mean, it's only, you know. What do you call this? It's gonna be offended if you don't wear it, Joanne. I'll wear the thing forever.

It's fucking ridiculous. It looks awesome. Why? I'll show you other you don't wear it. You'll only not wear the thing forever. It's fucking ridiculous. It looks awesome. Why? I'll show you other gifts I made, boys. I made all my gifts this year. Should be interesting. I didn't make this, but I could have. Quite easily, actually.

I might make gifts every year, boys. Oh, making gifts, Ricky, that's a really nice gesture. Now you wish I had to get it. Made that for baby Mo. What is it? Something to keep his candy in, so whenever he needs some sugar to get his teeth made better. But what did you have to make? Well, this stuffed animal's fuck,

so I cut its head off, glued it to the top of this fucking thing. Put some stuff to make his hair cute. You're not feeding Mo candy candy though, are you? Sugar candies? Yeah, hopefully it'll make his teeth a lot healthier. Rick, that doesn't make any sense. It's like building up your fucking tolerance to liquor,

smoking or whatever. Give him lots of sugar, the teeth fucking get their tolerance built up. He'll probably never get a Cassidy. Rick, no. That's not how it works. You keep giving him sugar, he's gonna rot his teeth no. That's not how it works. You keep giving him sugar,

he's gonna rot his teeth out. That's what they tell you because they want you to buy fucking toothpaste and toothbrushes. Ricky. It doesn't make you, you can't fucking feed Mo that much candy. Well, it's worth a try, isn't it? You know what?

We'll try it with his first set of teeth. They all fall out anyway. If it works, then we'll do it with the second set. If it doesn't and the first ones get all fucked, then we'll know that we can't do it. I made these earrings for Lucy, too.

She fucking loved them. What are they? Just pictures of guys that she thinks are hunky, or hot, whatever you want to say. You cast a wire, you glue them to wire. She's not going to wear those. She fucking loves them. Who's on here?

Emilio Estevez. She fucking loved him and young girls. So you just glued them to a paperclip, and she just shoves the paperclip through her ear hole? They're very nice, Ricky. They're really nice, Ricky. A lot of work and thought went into those. I made this fucking jewelry box for her, too. Doesn't it look expensive with all the jewels?

All it is, don't tell Lizzie, it's a cardboard box. I painted it gold. Cardboard box with duct tape just painted fucking flashy gold with jewels on it. That looks very expensive, Ricky. It looks fucked. This is the best fucking gift, boys. What the fuck is that? Well, Trinity's feet have been sore, so...

It's like a dish pan, right? Glued popcorn to the bottom of it to make the feet massage a little better. Fill this fucking thing with hot water. And then you put your feet in it. And this is for... So imagine your feet are in there and you're sitting back. You're like, oh, fuck. See that? It's on a recept saw.

Yep. One little fuck-up. Forgot to take the blade out. But as long as you're careful. As long as you're careful. I don't know whether it's a really good idea or a really fucked idea. No, it's pretty awesome. You think it's alright? It's pretty awesome.

It's a little loud when you're trying to relax. No, when you're just trying to, you know. Ricky, would you freaking keep it down down there? What the fuck do you want? What are you doing here? You stay the fuck away from me. It's Christmas Day. I don't want to fucking see you or touch you. Would you doing here? You stay the fuck away from me. It's Christmas Day. I don't want to fucking see you or touch you.

Did you freak off? You're making a lot of noise with that stupid thing. Oh, is that right? Yeah. What the freak is it anyway? What the freak is that? It's a present from Mr. Lay. It's full of the king coupons. Check it out.

Freak off! You freak off. Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Let's just take it easy, okay? It's Christmas time. Let's have a troops. Okay?

A troops? Yeah. Hi, Julian. How you doing, man? Girl, you two stay the fuck off of this. Okay, okay, okay, boy. Randy, boys, boys. Let go of his head, Ricky. Let the fucking head. Ridiculous. Let go of his head, Ricky. Fuck off, Randy.

Fucking want one, Randy? You better fix every fucking thing on that tree, too. Stupid fucking presents. You've got any presents over there? Okay, okay, listen. Listen, stop checking the presents. It's Christmas fucking day. You don't need to get into this shit.

You're lucky you didn't fucking break any of my gifts. What the fuck is that? It's a footbather. Oh, that's incredible. It's It's a footbather. Oh, that's incredible. It's a fucking incredible footbather. There he is. Seriously? It's a fucking popcorn head.

It's a piece of shit. Listen. Look, it's just like fucking Ricky. Yeah. You broke it. That didn't break up. Let's go, Mr. Lane. Let's go.

Okay, okay. Hey, you're spilling my drink. I'm a piece of shit. Hey. Randy. Everybody fucking calm down! Take your pants off, Randy! Show them the fuck off!

We're gonna have a nice Christmas, Mr. Layman! You guys stay over in your fucking shitty inn and we'll stay over in our fucking beautiful... Come on, Randy, you guys are a piece of shit, Ricky. Fucking drunk! Merry Christmas to you too, you fucking wanker! Yeah, look, just chalk it up for another fucked up Christmas, baby. Get your liquor back, you piece of shit.

Fucking Christmas tree stung me. Stung you. Come on, Randy. All right. Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas, boys. Look over there. Fucking idiot, the bill.

Fucking piece of shit. What a dick. Oh, my fuck. Can I just move there, dick? Come on, Mr. Leahy. Merry Christmas. A little Christmas drink. Just one little drinky-boo for Christmas, eh? Come on, let's just go. Let's get it in there. Come on, Mr. Leahy. Merry Christmas. A little Christmas drink. Just one little drinky boo for Christmas Eve.

Come on, let's just go. Let's just go. Fuck that Christmas, Leahy. You fucking wait. Yeah, I wait for what? Until I get some sleep, I'm gonna come at ya. Yeah? Yeah.

Could be Boxing Day. Could be fucking New Year's Eve. Could be New Year's Day. Oh, yeah. Here, Rick, you have a burger coupon, and you can... Hey! You only can have one. Well, now I got four, don't I?

Listen, that was for fucking Randy. I made that fucking present for Randy, you shitbag! Jesus. Happy Christmas. Happy fucking Christmas, dicks. Fuck off. Go have another drink, Lee, you fucking alcoholic. Thanks.

Come on, Mr. Lee. Come on, Lee, you fucking alcoholic. Thanks. Come on, Mr. Lee. Come on, let's have a good Christmas over here. Come on, boys. Let's go eat some fucking burgers. Fuck that Christmas. Do it. Don't worry about that.

Do we say goodbye? Say goodbye? I don't want Christmas to end like this, but... Let's just go keep drinking and just forget that even happened. All right. All right, Merry Christmas, motherfuckers. Poof! Cover me in his fucking boots, man. Smell that.

Fuck! I'm going to go to bed.