Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 21 - Penelope Cruz and Her Bathtub Booze

Episode Date: October 19, 2020

On the latest Dark Park Dark After: The Boys groove to Lionel the Lobster, ponder the benefits of a sausage diet, and learn how not to handle a mountain lion. And what the f**k was Penelope Cruz doing naked in Ricky's bath?!

. . . Bob, is he okay? Yeah, I'm just calling him, Ricky. What time do you want to do the thing? What thing? The sneezing more water, man. Just try putting some booze in it.

Alright. Just like maybe a bit of booze, a bit of water. What thing are you talking about, Ricky? The fucking dark part. Dark after. Dark after? I'm just waiting for you guys. Dark after. I'm just waiting for you guys.

Fuck, I missed that store. Remember Dapper Dan? Fuck that, I need some cool clothes. What are you calling it, man? I just started on this album. Fucking thing keeps moving on me because I'm going out of the lines. The book's jumping around. What is? This book's jumping moving on me because I'm going out of the lines. The book's jumping around. What is? This book's jumping around on me.

It's jumping around. Well, I... Here, I'll show you a new way to color. You do a... You don't move the marker. So if you want to do this line, you just keep the pen where it is and you bring the book down. See that?

It's not perfect, but it works good. A new way to color. Why would you do that, Ricky? That's not, it's a shitty way to color, man. Let me just try it. No, Ricky, that's terrible. It's very hard to control. Fuck. Whatever happened to Dapper Dan?

Who's Dapper Dan? In that store with the fucking wicked clothes He was so dapper He dapped out, man I don't know who the actual Dan guy was You should start a store called Dapper Dan Or you just do dabs And your name's Dan.

This game sucks. Well, fuck off then. Go get your own game. Go fuck yourself. You're good at that game, man. Boys, I'm too fucking banged up to be here. I think I need to go lay down. That's because you didn't fucking sleep, man.

I actually had an hour and a half nap. I feel great. Bubs, you want to play a game? Fucking Bubs. Two noise. What? Two noise. Two noise.

Two noise. Two noise. Two noise. Two noise. Two noise. You need to go lay down. It's because you didn't fucking sleep, man. I actually had an hour and a half nap. I feel great. Bob, you want to play a game? Fucking noise. What? Two bucks. You against me. The winner gets two bucks. Doesn't sound like a very good deal.

10 bucks. I don't like that sound. Sounds like the sound your mother makes. When she's doing what? All right, Bob, so I was out getting some lobsters this morning. I got this for you, buddy. Well, can you shut that off?

Eat it. Bang it. Fucking do whatever you want. I know what that is. That's pretty nice of you, man. That's wicked. Yeah. You know, rock the boat, baby.

I'm over at the boat, you're off the boat, baby. I'm over at the boat. Yeah, those aren't way too long, though. I like you. I mean, not just silly. I like you a lot. I name you Lionel. For fuck's sakes. Lionel the Lobster.

Here. Is that Lionel? That's his name. Is that all he got? Is this the one on the boat tune? Oh. Ooh, what's gonna happen now? Oh, yeah! What the fuck is that?

Oh, this is a good one. Oh, yeah. It's got more than one tune on it? No way. See, it puts you in a good mood, doesn't it? Yeah, I'm pretty happy right now. Partyin' with the lobsters. He's got a good voice. Old Man River. Motherfuckin' can sing.

Think you wanna see cruise? See, it's all ocean-themed music. It's very clever. I don't see fucking... Take you on a sea cruise. I always thought it was... I thought it was taking a city cruise. A sea cruise? You thought it was what?

City cruise. You're cruising your car and around the city. I wonder if there's three songs on this fucking thing. Won't you let me take you on a city cruise? Go for it. We'll hear the... Walk. No, that's Rock the Boat Baby. Fuck. Turn it off. He can't turn it off. That's got to know it. You got to know it. No, that's rock the boat baby.

Fuck. Turn it off. So he's only got. You can't turn it off. That's the thing, man. Oh, you can turn it off. Yeah, you can. I was going to get another mallet.

Oh, I didn't know that. That would have been nice to know. Now don't get. Learn. You better learn another song before next week you get in the mallet there, Lionel. Don't get too baked and end up eating that thing, Ricky. I can see you putting that in a pot. I hate the way he looks at you.

Look at him. His face is that way there, Lionel. All right, welcome to the park after dark. We're done. All right. And that's it. Who would win in a fight? A rooster or a fucking lobster?

You'd fucking be surprised how tough a fucking chicken is, bud. Oh, man. I've seen them rip little animals right apart with their little pecking beaks. The lobster would fucking take them. The lobster is a hard-shelled animal. He'd have an advantage that way. Yeah, what's a peck going to do to that fucking guy? Yeah, but he's so small.

He could peck his eyes out. He could peck his, probably, his legs off. If I was a chicken, I could peck his eyes out. He could peck his, probably, his legs off. If I was a chicken, I'd peck his eyes out so then he couldn't see and then he'd just fucking sneak out. But would a chicken go

for the fucking thing's eyes? All right, you know what I'm saying? Is it, is it, is it smart? That chicken could pull his legs off one by one

in a hurry. You'd want to fight him probably from the rear, though. Yeah, but back. He'd get the fucking claw going. That's gonna,

it's done. But it's not like he's fast. It's not like he's like, broochy. It would come in like this and then he'd grab ahold of his fucking foot. Oh no,

if he got his foot. And boom, off. Yeah, but the chicken would be like, okay, I'm fucking stuck here now and may as well just keep pecking until your fucking head's gone. And just be like, peck, bye bye eyes,

bye bye nose. You know what we should do? There's a way of figuring this out. What's that? Without hurting an animal. No. We can go to the supermarket, get a chicken, grab a lobster, see what the lobster would do to it,

see if it would, like, fucking cut off his leg or something. You know what I'm saying? Oh, he could. A lobster can pinch right close. I don't know, because they got a little hole. Let's see how the claw, when it claws together like that, there's still enough of a hole. I think the chicken leg's smaller than that.

No, man. Well, maybe's still enough of a hole. And I think the chicken leg's smaller than that. No, man. Well, maybe you're right. It depends. It would be a really cool fight. I think we should try it sometime. We're going to eat them both anyway. We could. No, we're not having two animals fight to the death.

I'll get a lobster. Instead of dog fights, we should invite people to the lobster chicken fight. People would pay to fucking see that. No, we're not doing that. How many people out there are wondering who would fucking win in a match between a chicken and a fucking... Pay-per-view. Lobster. Probably two.

Who would want to see it go down? Would you watch it? I'd watch the show. Pay-per-view tonight. Lobster versus the chicken. I'd become rich. Call Dana White. See if he's interested. Well, the thing is, at least you'd be eating this guy. You know what, call Dana White, see if he's interested.

Well the thing is, at least you'd be eating this guy, you know what I mean? He loses, you're eating him, so... You're not gonna eat him? See if you wanna fucking stay around for a little while longer? He's more delicious than him. I'm not into lobster. It depends, if you put him in a nice brine and... A brine?

Oh yeah, overnight. Wow, man. Fuck. A nice brine. What's a brine? Yeah, what the fuck is a. Fuck. A nice brine. What's a brine? Yeah, what the fuck is a brine? Four gallons of water. Half a cup of salt.

A cup of brown sugar. Soak your chicken in that for fucking 24 hours, and you tell me you've never tasted a better chicken. Oh, I thought you meant you put the lobster in the brine. No, he just needs butter. Gross, man. You've never even tasted lobster. I've tasted fucking lobster. Bullshit.

Fucking... yes I have. What happened to you as a child? Did you get attacked by a lobster? I just don't want to be fucked like seafood, man. You're fucked when it comes to food, but you're not as fucked as this boy over in... Thanks guys. What's it called again? Who? I'm going to say England.

Netherlands? England. He only eats sausages and water. Fuck that. Whole life, three meals a day. A certain type of sausage and water. That's it. His whole life.

So he's not the healthiest guy in the world. How old is he? I think he's like 16 now or 15. He won't eat anything else? Nope. So anyway, his mom's like, okay,

you're gonna fucking die because he's not healthy. He can't be healthy off sausages. Oh, you can't. You need some fucking... The water's good, I guess.

Anyway, she took him to a fucking hypnopath. What? What do they call the magic spell people? Magic spell people.

Hypnopathies. No. Keep trying, man. Keep trying, Ricky. Keep trying. Hypnotist. It's close. Hypnotist, yes.

Hypnotist. Hypnotist. Yes. They took him to one of the. It wasn't called that. It was a hypnotist in the theory. I don't know what it was. I forget. I have to look it up.

Wow, man. Anyway, they put a brain spell on him, and now he fucking likes all kinds of shit. He's going to live. The sausage kid is now eating other shit. Well, that's good. That's a feel-good story. That's really nice.

Mom said it was a shit show. He'd go to parties, and then he'd, like, just go into a corner and cry because they would have pizza and shit. And he's like, no, I only want fucking sausages. Hey, you fuck, try some fucking pizza. He tried everything. Who doesn't like pizza, man?

Him, Sausage Boy. Sausage Boy doesn't like it, that's for sure. But he doesn't even drink, like, pop or doesn't eat chips, doesn't eat junk, just sausages. How many a day would he be fucking pounding in himself? Five to six links per meal, three meals a day. So he's, you know, fifteen to twenty links of sausage every day. I bet you his cholesterol was something else. Yeah, it would be pretty fucked up.

He should have been doing ads for the sausage company. They must be, I'm gonna have to try these fucking sausages. Is there a certain type that he liked? There is. I don't remember what it is, but there is an exact type. His mother said she had to buy a shit ton of them every month. That's a lot, man. Jesus, maybe he was, why was he so fixated? I mean, you're fixated on the same...

The same tubular kind of things, is that what you're gonna say? Yeah, tubular meat. Clubs. No, he's just fucked in the head, man. He's just really picky. Well, I'm glad that he's eating other things now. Yeah. I didn't know that sausages were so good for you. They're not.

He's eaten a lot more of them. Oh, he fucking lived that many years. That's true. But you know what? I'm calling bullshit, I think, because there can't be like vitamin C in a sausage, is there? He's lucky he didn't get scurvy. That's what I mean, yeah. Get the scurvy on him.

That's fucked up. I had the scurv. Remember when I had the scurv? When when I had the scurve? When did you have the scurve? Back when I lived on that pirate ship. So what was happening to you? Oh, I got the scurve. So what was going on with your body?

How was it breaking down? I just had no vitamin C. I was turned white. I was pretty much translucent. You could see right through me, all my... Veins. Veins and muscles and everything. I had an hour and a half power nap, and I had a fucking really weird dream.

Do tell, Ricky. It was as if it was real, but it was a dream, obviously, because what happened next couldn't have happened. But you guys were here. Went to my bathroom. Penelope Cruz was naked in my bathtub having a bath and she asked if I'd get her a glass of wine. She was here man. You don't remember that. She's beautiful. Penelope Cruz was in your tub asking for wine. Totally naked. Beautiful. Wrong address.

Different accent. Came in and had it. I can't do the accent. She's like, can I have a glass of wine, please? So she was sitting in your old fucking dirty tub. Somehow it was renovated and nice. It was clean. It wasn't the normal.

The whole bathroom was like white. Because, Ricky, right now your tub is so fucking dirty. There's just two foot holes. The rest of it is just caked on grime. But what does it mean? It means you're not cleaning it. Does it mean I have to renovate my bathroom? Is that the message?

No. It doesn't mean anything. You could have had a... Just clean the fucking... I'm going to have to start buying wine, apparently. And cleaners, like Mr. Clean. Throw that in the bathroom. She's not actually... Ricky start buying wine, apparently. And cleaners, like Mr. Clean. Throw that in the bathroom. She's not actually, Ricky, it doesn't mean anything.

You might have just saw a picture of her before you went to sleep, or somebody might have mentioned her on the TV. She's in some shape. Wow. Okay, awesome. That is a weird dream. So what else happened in this dream? Well, I freaked out so bad I fucking woke up,

because I didn't have any wine. So she's just sitting in the tub? Just laying I freaked out so bad I fucking woke up because I didn't have any wine. So she was just sitting in the tub? Just laying there relaxing. Beautiful. Water was clear. You could see everything.

And there wasn't even a bubble bath. So she's just sitting in water? Yeah. A little bit of steam coming off the surface. It was a hot bath.

It's fucking very romantic, man. It was, yeah. Now, when you woke up, what state were you in down below there? I was feeling some excitement. But then I was feeling pissed off because I didn't have any fucking wine. Did she say anything else to you, Ricky? No, just want a glass of wine.

I was like, uh, hey. And then I woke up. Red or white? But I got to lock it in. Like I got to check her out fully. It was great. Yeah. Well, dreams are fucked.

Like I can't control that. If Penelope Cruz is out there watching this, maybe you'd like to come to Ricky's and have a bath. I will have wine. All different types. Free wine. Right there, Penelope Cruz. Get yourself a free bottle of wine.

You know what? I've never really. I've always thought she was pretty and stuff. But I've never looked at Penelope Cruz and thought, oh, my God. But after this morning, I'll never look at her the same again. Wow. I think we should, let's go rent a bunch of Penelope Cruz movies

and have at it. It's not fair, man. You got to see her. Ricky, I'm not. What are her big movies, Penelope Cruz? She was in. She was the drug lord's wife. Yes, what movie was that? Blow? She was in... She was the drug lord's wife. Yes, what movie was that?

Blow? She was in Blow. Yeah, that's what we're going to watch. With that cutesy-bootsy little voice. Yeah. Blow. There's more. What was that guy's name?

The Blow guy. Boston George, wasn't it? Boston George. I think that was his name. Jesus, he could do a lot of fucking cocaine, couldn't he? Yeah. Boston George. Should have just stuck with the weed, man.

Remember when they had the pallets of cash? Remember just the little walkways through the cash? This is too much. Too much. You got to chill out. Once you got that much, you should just go, okay. Yeah, I mean, you don't really need to do another big deal, do you? Yeah, but if you stop, they kill you, so.

Take the cash and move to Iceland. I'm fine. I'm fine. What the fuck, man? Man, you've had some weird little glitches. It's been a pretty crazy week. There's been a lot of different things smoked. What? Oh, did you guys see the Blue Origin fucking rocket go off?

Yeah, that was decent, man. What was that on fucking Tuesday? Tuesday it was fucking... That fucking thing, man. That didn't fuck around, did it? No, it doesn't fucking... Landon, you know what? I think the capsule fucked up, though. I think it hit too hard. No, it did't land and you know what I think the capsule fucked up those it think it hit to her No, it did its blast

Well, I couldn't leave the fucking The body thingy with the small little fins on just came down. So like perfectly. Oh, yeah They got her down and it's up and back. They got her down to a science now. Yeah, I should say Get it. Yeah, cuz it's all science doing that Soon people will be up there party and those things. Oh now, as you'd say. Get it? Yeah. Because it's all science doing that. Soon people will be up there partying those things. Oh, you could absolutely go partying. That fucking blue origin capsule, that's just like a little bar. Like a little

That's a bar. It is a bar. It's a good setup. A little rocket bar. Go up there and have some drinks. Do upside down floaty shooters. Do you want a happy ending fucking feel good story? I thought you were going to say massage. Happy ending massage. Fuck.

No, I don't want one. Alright. Well, I want a story, yes. How about a happy story and then a happy ending massage? Give them what? This fucking California cat. You like cats?

I do. You went missing in 2008 during the fucking crazy wildfires. So this woman had like five minutes to grab her kids and all of her shit before the fire came and killed everybody. She went to grab a cat and she spooked it and the fucking cat took off. Oh, yeah, that'll happen. She found it this week. What? Yeah, two years later.

Alive? Yeah. Where was he? They don't know. He just showed up? No, she saw something on Facebook. She's like, that's my fucking cat. Went and got him.

Sure enough, same cat, two years later. He had little burn marks on his ears or something. Aw, he got you out of bed. Wow. But the cat came back the very next day. That's why they wrote that song. Two years, Bob. Santa was on Facebook.

The cat came back two years to the day. He was on Facebook having his way. Where the fuck he survived? Oh, he'd be fucking eating rats and bugs and rat carcasses. So cats must be, I guess they can run faster than fire burns. It depends on the wind. He could be super cat too.

I've seen some. Oh, did you see the footage of that fucking guy that went out jogging? And the cougar was coming after him? Oh, man. Did you see that? Yes. Holy fuck, that cat was. Where was this at?

Buddy did not. He didn't handle it. I mean, he did all right, but he should have just called the cat over. He was walking backwards, the cougar stalked him for a while and then he noticed it behind him, he's on a trail, and he turned around and the fucking thing kept running at him with its paws out like that. He's like, no, back off, and it, seven or eight minutes. Seven or eight minutes of that fucking crazy.

Yeah, that's fucked up. Is there footage of it? Oh, yeah. Oh, cool. Because there was a baby one, wasn't there? That was the mother? I don't know. There was a little baby.

Yeah, it was fucking freaking out. It was just looking for some belly work. I know it, boss. It was, look, I would have handled it. Steve French, when it comes up and it sniffs you around your crotch, it's not a great feeling, man. They're wild animals. They can could just rip any part of you ordered one of those cats it looks like a big cat and they ended up getting a baby tiger sent to them what yeah that'd be a

around yeah that is a around shouldn't be ordering tigers in the mail. No. Although I've done it. I'm surprised you don't have a tiger. I would have a tiger, but it's not... Bubbles exotic. No, I'm not going to be Bubbles exotic. That would be awesome. If you dress like that dude, it would be fucking... I'm not going to be...

You got to do it for Halloween. Bubbles Baskin, there we go. No, I don't want to be Bubbles Baskin, there we go. No, I don't wanna be Bubbles Baskin. Get a little flower fucking thing on your head. I'm not gonna be Bubbles Baskin or Bubbles Exotic. Get a big blonde mullet. Why not? Start wearing tight glamour shirts.

Lots of fluorescent and shit. Glamour shirts. Yep, marry a couple guys. I'm already married to a couple guys. I'm already married to a couple guys. We're sitting right here, a couple of arseholes. Married to a couple arseholes. Fuck off, man. I'm married to a couple arseholes.

Fuck off, will ya? Fuck off, will ya? Hey, speaking of Newfoundland, there's that seed company, I forget the name of them now, but they got in trouble on Facebook because they had a picture of their onion seeds, just a bowl of onions

in a basket. And Facebook said, nope, too sexual. What? What? Yeah. What's sexual about that? I have no idea.

It must have been a fuck-up. Bowl of onions? Bowl of onions in a basket. Well, did they look like something? Did they look like breasts or the vagina? Nope. What?

The acid. The vagina? Yeah. I was trying to, you know. Sound Italian? Yeah. The vagina. The vagina and the acid.

Cappuccino. Miscotti. Vagina. So whoever, I don't knowino, biscotti, vagina. So whoever, I don't know who flagged that at fucking Facebook, but they're obviously- It was onions. They're obviously attracted to onions.

That's fucked. Yeah, send them back, said, sorry bud, picture of your onions is too sexual. I should look at it again. Maybe there is something more to it, but it's just a bowl of onions in a basket. Sure it wasn't like two onions and a big eggplant or something. Nope.

That would do it. Right? I don't know what you're sexual about it. A couple of big onions and a big zucchini. Something like that might be misconstrued. A couple of big onions and a big zucchini. That might get misconstrued. Big onions in the zucchini. That might get misconstrued as, you know, the Jolly Green Giant's wang or something.

Green Giant. Who was the little guy? Wasn't there a... Niblet. Niblet. Yeah. Was that his name? I think it was.

That little cocksucker. What the fuck were you talking about? Who's Niblet? Niblet was that little co that his name? I think it was. That little cocksucker. What the fuck were you talking about? Who's Niblet? Niblet was that little cocksucker that hung out with the- His little nephew or something. The green giant. Green giant.

Hey, Niblet. Niblet. Niblet. That's a terrible fucking name to have. One thing I haven't eaten for a long time is fish sticks. Martin bought some the other day. What the fuck is up with Captain Highliner now? Why is he so sexy all of a sudden?

What do you mean? They changed him. He looks like fucking Alec Baldwin with grey hair. And he's sexy. Pull him up. Captain Highliner's sexy now? They did a remake, a makeover on him, man. I like the little... Captain Highliner's sexy now.

You guys are gonna be a little surprised, I think. Have you ever been to sea, Billy? No, he's not that guy. I like that guy because then he feels like a real sea captain. This guy looks like he's fucking right out of a model agency. It's not the old guy, the old guy that asked Billy if he's ever been to sea. He's old, but he's had a makeover. Have you ever been to sea, Billy?

Do you know how to look things up? Yeah, man, I do. I'm just having a very hard time at the moment. Captain Hindgrinder. Isn't that what they used to call him? Yep. What the fuck is going on here? Uh-oh.

Did you pull up some porn? No, man. You got sea cap and porn going, do you? He does look like Alec Baldwin. Baldwin, look. They totally see him. They sexy him up. Fuck off.

Captain Highliner sexy now. You be the judge. What's he have for, does he have like a slicker bow? Is he on a yacht or anything? He lost the hat. Yeah. He's got like a more of a groom fucking beard going. Here, pass it to me. Oh, Jesus, Murphy.

Look at him. No, he's the same guy. He just doesn't have his hat, so he's more handsome. He's had to make, he never looked that good. I thought he had a pipe in his mouth at one point, didn't he? It's like he's, you know, using his face. Oh, is this, this is both the new one? Yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, he never looked that good. I thought he had a pipe in his mouth at one point, didn't he? It's like he's, you know, using his face. Oh, is this both the new one? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, he looks more, you know. He looks like he could just take his sea captain hat off and head to the swanky bars of L.A. Let's see if I can find the old one. He looks like the Dos Equis guy. The who? Dos Equis.

Dos Equis? Dos Equis, the beer. That's who they're trying to make him look like. I don't always fucking shit my pants, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis, that guy. Are you sure they changed this fucking guy? Yes, look at the old commercial from the 70s where he's like, have you ever been to see Billy?

He looks like a fucking, I think he's only got one eye, that fella. He's got an old gnarled out eye hole and a fucking pipe hanging out of his mouth and I think he's got a pet rat on his shoulder. Did you hear about the program they have over in the Netherlands? It's called Hookers for Handicapped. Hook is for the Handicapped. No. They pay you money if you're disabled and you can get a hooker a month.

Paid. What? That's a nice program. I think it's great. It's a fucking very nice program. How did my dad not know about that fucking program? He was taking care of it himself. Ricky, he got more hookers than anybody.

Well, you'd be a lot less stressed, I guess. You know what? So who pays for it? The government? The government, yeah. We should be doing that here, boys. Let's start it up. The government pays for hookers, for handicapped people. Well, that's probably a nice service. I think it's wonderful.

It employs the people, the sex workers, and, you know. Yeah, it's not that guy, that's for sure. Are you looking up Highliner commercials from the 70s? Yeah, man. This is a funny piece of news that came in. You know when the Stanley Cup Finals going on? Anyway, this neighbor was listening to their

house next door, and she heard, shoot, shoot, shoot! She called 911, but they were just watching the hockey game. Yeah, I heard about that. That's fucked up. There's nothing worse than going to a hockey game and people don't know the lingo

and they're yelling at the fucking players. Yeah. Jesus, Murphy. Yeah. Do you remember the time we were in Los Angeles at the hockey game and the lady was screaming, Get a score! Get a score! A score, yeah. Get a score!

What the fuck is that all about? I thought she was yelling at her husband to get her chocolate bar. Nope. Nope. It's a goal. Mildred, what do you want? Get a scoreboard. Maybe she was. Yeah, she could have been. Good business opportunity for you.

There's a guy in Japan. I think it's Japan. Yeah, it is Japan. It's a Japanese producer. He's opening Pornoland. Pornoland. Yeah. Pornoland.

It's actually S- land Soft on Demand Soft on Demand That's kind of a weird name for a place where you go and get bad Is it a theme park? It's like a four level fucking sex crazy shop There's hookers on one level strippers on another level

just a bar where you're not allowed to talk on another level. It's right up Julian's alley. Pornoland. Oh, yeah, you could do, yeah. That's a good idea, actually. Well, it's like, we've been to places like that before, I think. I have not. I've never been to a pornoland.

The Netherlands? Pornoland. Oh, no, no, okay, no, that was just a bra. Window shopping. No, no, there was that place we went to and there was... That was fucking weird. Remember that bar we went to? Maybe you went.

I don't think I was with you. And this lady was on a fucking swing and she was smoking a cigarette and hanging upside down. I think that was in New York. That was in New York. All right, okay. But that wasn't like porno land. No, no. Porno land, anything goes.

Wow. He's gonna probably do well. Japanese porno land. Soft on demand. Is everybody's, is everything digitized out down below when you're walking around? Get it? No, man. You know, Japanese porn has the mosaic over the wiener.

Okay. Do you watch a lot of Japanese porn? No, but I'm just saying. Do they show everything else? Just no wieners? They don't show, no. All the parts have the mosaic, digital mosaic over them. Everybody knows that.

Like a blur? Yeah, like a blur, but it's the squares. It's not a Gaussian blur. It's a mosaic. Much harder to make the parts out. Boys, I need to, I gotta have a nap. I wanna go back to sleep. I'm ready to rock again now.

I'm getting my second wind. I'm going to get a bottle of wine. I'm going right to sleep. Get your tits out and we'll put some honey on them. I'm about ready to go to sleep and you're like poking me. Holy fuck. Let's dip your tits in honey and have a party. No, no, no, no.

We're not doing that.