Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 22 - Split Right Down The Middle, Boys

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

The Boys are hustlers, baby! Ricky's new weed operation is a go, and Bubbles wants to start his own kitty magazine! They also discuss TV shows with real-life f**kin' consequences, and Chinese food that will make your cock water. Plus: Julian's Google search gets greasy as F**K...

. Decent. Look at that one, Ricky. European Burmese. Hey, Bob, who cares about the... Is this male or female? It's starting to come along, man. What is it, male or female? Can you tell? Yeah, it's female. We're good. Awesome.

All right, I gotta get this fucker some food. What you name this little bastard? I still don't know how in the fuck this thing's gonna really grow a nice plant. Hey, man. There's not much soil. It's not very big in here, but. There's a lot of technology put into that

fucking little closet, man. I'm kind of excited to see it. Engineering, there's engineers that fucking test with this thing. Took my little girl in. Look at this, Julian. This one's name's Hazel Rose and Maui. I'm busy. I don't care about fucking cats right now. So you gotta fill it up to the line in there?

Yeah, man. Alright, a bit more. Lola and Maisie, these two are called. Alright, so how much are they saying this closet will produce in weed? For one plant? I think a pound. A pound? That's what they're saying.

A pound. So a pound, that means... All right, I don't know. You know how much was that in money? Dollars? It's been so fucking good. Well, it's gonna be fucking good. You're growing it, right?

Well, I'm not. This is primo shit. Look at these two guys, Ricky. Bubz, I'm trying to fucking talk to him about this. So, it's gonna... Okay, what if it's the greatest fucking weed on Earth? Or around here in the park? What are we talking about?

A few grand. A few grand? Yeah. Hmm. If it's shit, $1,200. At the most. All right, so I can deal with $1,200. Upside down kitty.

All right, this is exciting, man. Exciting. This is exciting. We got a lot of shit to talk about, too. No, I meant my subscriptions are so exciting. I can't fucking wait to see. Every week now, that planet's gonna get bigger and better. I know, it's money. Money, money, money, money, Every week now, that plan is going to get bigger and better.

It's money, money, money, money, money. And every week I'm going to get Catster and Modern Cats. How much are you paying for a subscription? It's a trial. It's a trial run. Don't get sucked into it. Look at this, 40% off. You sign off on this and then all of a sudden they're coming.

Catster is one of the best cat magazines going. Okay, so you can get this for 20 bucks a year, man. That's not bad. That's not bad. There's a lot of kitty info for 20 bucks a year, boy. Keep on top of all the trends. Let's see what this one is. Health Talk.

Kitties with bad breath. How to fix that. One year for 20 bucks, two years for 30 bucks. Catster. Well, I already know how to fix their teeth. I brush their teeth by hand. That's why my cats don't have... See, I wish you were more of an entrepreneur because then you would look at these and say,

hmm, instead of paying 20 bucks a year, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make my own fucking magazine because I know everything about cats and all these fucking guys. Well, if I had a little bit of backing. Well, I would fucking back you. Look at that Persian.

That's beautiful. I can't fucking wait to try some of these recipes. What a find. Recipes. Yeah. What recipes, Ricky? Trinity found this at the used bookstore. It's got famous Chinese recipes.

First printed in 1975. So these are the real deal. Not the new phony bullshit. The old school recipes. What is it, like, weed recipes? Beef and broccoli. Yum. Oh, it's like actual fucking recipes. Oh, my fuck.

It's making my cock water. Nice. Your cock water? Yeah. So when was that book fucking released? 1920, 25? 1975. Isn't that what you drink when you're working out? It's not being carried away here.

What? They probably didn't have Chinese food in 1925. That's what Julian drinks when he's working out. What, cock water? No, it isn't. And they had Chinese food back in 1925. See, look at this guy. He looks authentic.

Walk with Yan. He was cool, man. I remember. Walk with Yan? I used to watch him on the TV. No, this is Walka My Baby. What? Walka My Baby.

Walka My Baby. You know what I remember? I remember fucking off in school, getting drunk in the morning, and then watching that fucker. Man, it was good. See, he tells you all about flat bottom walks. Oh, this is shit, boys. Getting drunk in the morning and then watching that fucker. It was good. See, he tells you all about flat bottom walks. Oh, this is shit, boys.

We are gonna cook some shit up. Stella starts on the pandemic. Stella's a kitty. Boys, I don't want to fucking be an asshole here. Chicken in a nest. But am I the only one trying to think of ways to make money for winter? I might open up a Chinese restaurant. Okay, that's a good, but all right. I'll start a cat magazine if you can get me some.

I will help you. Chicken balls with pineapple? Get me some money. You like those, Julian? Sweet and sour pork? We gotta think of a name for the magazine. For the magazine? What magazine?

I wish Catster wasn't taken. Catster's good, but no, we gotta maybe... Cat bubbles? Cat bubbles? Yeah. Catster wasn't taken. Catster's good, but no, we gotta maybe... Cat Bubbles? Cat Bubbles? Yeah. Sounds like something that comes out of their ears. I know, but people might like it, man. I don't know.

Cat... You leave the creative to me. Catnip. Catnip Magazine. What about this Cat and Nipples? We can do a combo. We're not doing a Kitty Magazine. Catnip magazine. What about this cat and nipples? We can do a combo. We're not doing a kitty magazine. Cat nipples? No, he's talking about putting lady boobs in it and cats.

Don't cats have six nipples? Yeah, but we don't. People don't want to see cat nipples. They want to see real nipples. Ooh, cat adoption tips. And if we were to do that, we'd have a yearly subscription of maybe 50 bucks instead of 20. Welcome to the Pericast of the Dark. It is October the 22. The dark is gone. It is late. Who the fuck's that dude?

That article's called... What's that moustachey guy? I like him. Yeah, he's decent. Look, it's do you look like your cat. Look at that guy. He looks like his cat. Yeah, it doesn't look like his cat. Yeah. Speaking of cats, remember when you fucking, the animal wrangler took your cats

and you fucking freaked out? Yes. You were going to go shoot up the place? I wasn't going to shoot it up, but I was going to, you know, wreak havoc. Well, this guy in Australiaia he was a former soldier he stormed the shelter to get his cat back full combat gear fake assault rifle tied up the 23 year old girl couldn't find his cats what yeah see that guy's just crazy but then he came

back the next day and the police were ready for him they got him but he says he has ptsd but that's yeah you can't go in like that dressed upressed up as Rambo with a fucking fake gun, tying people up, man. Give me my fucking cat! I understand his pain. No, I understand his pain. I know, but you know what? Do you understand the pain he's gonna go through

when he's in jail for 15 years? Yeah. He's gonna be fucked, man. Well, he should never take his fucking cat away from him. That's right. Whoa. You're Ken Moore range. I should never have taken this fucking category from him. That's right. You're Kenmore range. Where are you getting these old books from, man?

This one actually, nobody even commented on my brand new fucking fridge of beautifulness. And this book was hidden in the freezer. That's a new fridge? That's not a new fucking fridge. I'm fucking right. It is brand spanking new. Oh, the old one fucking broke. You know what they say. That is new fucking fridge. Where'd you get that? Spankin' new. Oh, the old one fuckin' broke, you know what they say. That is a nice fridge. If it's broke, don't fix it.

Well, you know what, I'll do it. You're gonna have more airflow without those fuckin' wooden shelves. Man, the freezer is beautiful, man. Are you serious? Holy fuck. Just ready for a shopping trip, which we are gonna do right after this. I am gonna cool down all my goods. We are going to get so much fucking frozen food. You know what?

I wish there's got to be a way of going to Costco. To cash your way. There's got to be a way of going to Costco and, like, going out the back door with some shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm just going to find someone that works there. Yeah, or going up through the fucking floor. And going to jail. Don't let all the freeze out.

Yeah, but I don't know if you can go up the floor. I think they got like a concrete slab. Pause, girl. Babs. There's a basement. You gotta go up and meet one of the workers. Nothing your muscles couldn't handle. Muscles in the big jack off.

Did you have that in the new freezer? Cause that is chilly. Nice, isn't it? Very nice. Fuck, we need to get some ice in there man. Chilled. Woo doggy. That is nice. These people in California that's another snake thing. They saw a couple fucking rattlesnakes around their house. They're like yeah we better get Mr. Snake out here. So Mr. Snake comes out. 92 fucking rattlesnakes

living in their under their house, in their foundation. Jesus H. Christ. I guess it's common, though. I didn't know this. Rattlesnakes fucking, they gather in large numbers to give birth. They start communities. There's like 22 adults and a bunch of... Snake Canyon. 50 fucking kids or something running around.

Snake Canyon, Utah. That's how it started. I'm not into rattlesnakes, man. You know what I would do if I had that place? Get the lawnmower out. Man, you'd be a fucking... I'd like to watch that TV show. That'd be a battle. What if they jumped right up over the lawnmower and got you? You'd have to set up something around there, man.

I'd love to see that battle. Like a barrier versus a shield. Like a barrier versus a shield rattlesnakes. Oh, what a fucking show. That would be fucking awesome, though, wouldn't it? In the left corner, hailing from the Sunnyvale trailer park, Julian. Rattlesnake killer. If you flex, like, would your muscle be so hard that he wouldn't be able to get his fangs in?

No, I bet you if you caught one like that and fucking choked him up, man. Oh, he'd explode. He'd explode on both ends. What a wicked TV show. We should pitch it. You grab him right by the rattle, right on the ground, fucking smash his face.

Yeah, but when you're trying to swing that, he's coming around. No, man. Striking your face. Not if you're going fast enough. Got to time it right. Jump out, you got to go. Yeah, I think if you had a lawnmower, a big one, lift the blades up, go right in, start attacking it.

What about a nail gun? No. Maybe. A nail gun and a lawnmower. Nail guns mounted to a lawnmower. Episode one could be the lawnmower, episode two could be something else. Different weapons, just you. Or we just go in and attack it. You should have a shotgun, and so should you. A couple shotguns. I need shotguns.

I like a shotgun. That's a good idea. Have you seen the guy? Fucking big swath of bullets. Have you seen the guy on YouTube that built a rat trap that has a nail gun? The rat goes in like this, and the nail gun's right here, and the rat goes in. When he starts noodling around, it hits the thing, and it goes right through this, and the nail gun's right here, and the rack goes in when he starts

noodling around, it hits the thing and it goes right through the back of the head. Does it go right through it though? Oh yes. You don't want to be looking over the thing, you know what I mean? No, no, it's a big nail gun shooting big spikes. Fuck, man. I saw a guy put his wiener in one. No.

Nail right through the wiener? Right through it. What would you fucking do? It's no different than getting it pierced, I guess. It's quite a bit different, actually. Okay, number one, if you're piercing your wiener, you're fucked. It's quite a bit different anyway. It's going right through, man. One of them's done in a controlled environment with antiseptic.

When you pierce your wiener, do you pierce it right through the piss hole or do you just do it off the side? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not Googling it. I think it's just through your piss hole. I think it's right below. I don't want to talk about it, man.

So when you piss, do you got to take your earring out? No, it's right below the piss hole. Not an earring. It's down there. It's like a piss hole, right? Piss hole like that. An awning. Ring underneath the piss hole. No, part of it goes through the piss hole. It's down there. It's like a piss hole, right? Piss hole like that. An awl ring. Ring underneath the piss hole. No, part of it goes through the piss hole.

Oh, no way. I believe so. Jeez. See, the piss would, like, fan out. Why would you do that? Who the fuck is doing... Fuck art, man. You don't want to ring through your...

Aw, man. Naw, brain. I can't... Shaft ring? You'd have to put me... If I had to do it, put me under. Give me some drugs to put me down for a little while. Would you be in a band called the Knob Rings?

Never. Would you? No. And do you have to be heard when you have it pierced? Don't know. That's a lot of blood going up there, man. You don't want to hit them. You know what the other one is, where they split her down the middle like a fucking, like a whistle dog.

Like an A&W whistle dog. They do that. No, they don't. No, they don't. All those people, they split them right down the middle. The whole thing or just the knob? No, the whole wiener. No, they don't, man. I'm telling you.

How the fuck is this? And she splits open, and then they put it together, and they put rings around it to hold it in place. But when they take the rings off, whistle dog. But what's that for? What do you need? I don't get it. I don't know why. Is there a sexual reason why people are splitting dicks? I have no idea.

But people do it. I forget what it's called. Like a Prince Albert or something like that. I think it's called a Prince Albert. A Prince Albert. Just Google Prince Albert. Oh, man. If I see a split cock when I do this, I'm not going to be happy.

Google. Maybe he was the first one. Prince Albert. Prince Albert Wiener. Prince Albert Wiener. Prince Albert Wiener. Prince Albert. So there's a new kind of birth control coming for men. Yeah, you split your wiener down.

Well, that would work too, but this one, did you know that James Dyson, I guess he probably invited the Dyson vacuum cleaner. Yes, he did. German awards. This came first place in the German James Dyson Awards. It's a testicle-sized bathtub for your balls. We've seen it. Nope.

That was just a fake little hot tub. Oh. This uses heat and ultrasound. You put your fucking bag. You set it in there nicely and it's nice and warm. It heats up and shoots some ultrasound up into your balls. It takes two weeks to take effect, but it lasts for six months. What does it do?

It fucking heats up and ultrasounds your balls, so your sperm are like, fuck this, I'm going to sleep. Oh. Wow. Oh, my Jesus. Yeah. What'd you find, bud? The Prince Albert is the fucking piercing, man.

It's not the split in the wiener. Well, what's the split in the wiener? You know what? With the piercing, there's a Prince Albert, a reverse Prince Albert, and a deep shaft reverse Prince Albert. All right, give it to us. Where are they? Do you want one of these?

I don't know. What are the options? I need something. Cock. Head. Just use yours. Prince Albert. Just get yours.

Right like that. Okay? This is the reverse Prince Albert. The top Just use yours. Prince Albert. Just get yours. Right like that. Okay? This is the reverse Prince Albert. The top of the head. Right down. Ow! Now the deep shaft Prince Albert, the reverse one. Past the shaft. But mean the head. To the shaft. Woof!

Right through the head. Right through the head and out. Like a fucking... Like a worm on a hook? Yes, like down before the... in the shaft. Like when you got fish and you put it through his gill and you bang him on the loop. And then out the piss hole. Like when you're fishing for bass and you take the hook right down through the whole worm and bring it up.

Jesus Christ, that's... Hey, what are the sexual benefits? It's... hard or no hard? I mean, for the pictures, they look like they're not hard. But, I mean, they're drawings. They're drawings of penises. Oh, they're drawings. They're cock prod.

Yeah, drawings. That smells something burning. Yeah, it smells like wax. Okay. Could be Julian getting fired up in the band. Oh, man. You only have to give your balls a bath every two months. No kids.

What do you mean, ball baths? What are you talking about? Fucking shaft? No, I know. Find out that what's splitting the shaft. Instead of wearing condoms, you don't have to anymore. You just put your balls in a bath every two months. Put your balls in a little ultrasound bath?

Okay, that's all right. Not bad. I'd do that. What the fuck is this? Scientists ship Ocelot balls from Texas to Ohio? What kind of balls? Ocelot? Is that a little cat?

Ocelot. Yeah. Balls? Oh yeah, no, I remember now. This guy in Texas, he got hit by a car. There's only like 80 of these fucking cats left in Texas, did you know that? No, I didn't. You're a cat guy, you should know this shit.

Penis splitting techniques. Safety. Oh, Jesus Christ. Like I did not know this existed, man. What's it called? Penile bisection. No, it's got a cute little name though. Okay.

I thought it was Prince Albert, but. There's a head splitting, the whole shaft splitting, the inversion, the super incisionision and the sub incision. Oh, they got drawings. Oh, Jesus. No, boys. No. You don't get this done to you.

Well, you might need to. Let's view the gallery. Okay. Is it similar to Whistle Dog? Oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus. Why would you do that? It's Whistle Dog time. Right down there. Yeah, I told you. And. Why would you do that? It's whistle dog time.

Right down the... Yeah, I told you. And then what do you do? You just let her flap in the wind. Let her flap in the wind. It's like one of those things at the car dealership. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that? The inversion. The inversion is this.

Dick. Right down the middle and then open it up so you can like peek right through. But the knob still? The knob doesn't get touched. Just right there. Open it up.

See through. So what happens? You can put a tennis ball in there. Play with the dog. Virtually split shop. Like, who the fuck is doing this? Ah.

If you do this, you're a fucking, you'd eat people. You're in the same fucking level as far as I'm concerned. Really? You would be a cannibal. So now I understand. These cats are trying to save them, so this little fucker got hit by a car.

So they shipped his balls to Ohio to have the sperm extracted from his balls because they couldn't do it in Texas. So I guess that's why they shipped his balls from Texas to Ohio to have the sperm extracted from his balls because they couldn't do it in Texas. So I guess that's why they shipped his balls from Texas to Ohio. We're going to try to make some more cats out of dead cats'

balls. We should extract some of your semen in case you die. Oh, man. No. No. If your mom could do that if she was around, I would totally let her do it. But you know what? This whole show is about splitting cocks and balls and semen.

It's always about that stuff. How is this happening? I don't want to talk. I don't want to look this up. You're the one doing it. I don't want to, though. You made me do it. This is fucked.

I merely suggested it. I'm baked, and I'm on fucking a lot of edibles, and this is the. I merely suggested it. I'm baked and I'm on fucking a lot of edibles and this is the last thing I first... You found out about the Prince James. Was it the Prince James?

Prince Albert. Prince Albert. Prince Albert. That wasn't what you were looking for. But it's educational. So what did you search when you found out

about the cock split? Splitting the shaft of your penis. That's what I searched and that came up. And what's it called? I know it has a cute little name. Okay. What is... Search that. What is a cute little name for splitting the shaft of your penis. That's what I searched and that came up. And what's it called? I know it has a cute little name.

Okay. What is it? Search that. What is a cute little name for splitting the shaft of the penis? Okay. What is the slang term? Or maybe look it up on the Urban Dictionary. Slang.

Cock splitting. Term. This is kind of some fun shit. We're going to call this TV shows with real life fucking consequences. God, it's here. Is it? What's the cute little read? He filled it out for me.

Splitting down the shaft. I just put splitting and then it went down the shaft. Because you've been searching it a lot. Okay, I'm back to the site I was at. Oh, the Urban Dictionary. This is what we want. This is what we want. Shaft splitting.

What's it called? There's one you put a knife at the end of your penis and hit it with a hammer down into the shaft, splitting it into two. Split shaft. That's it, man. You'd have to be hired for that. There's no way you could do that soft.

Oh, my God. That'd be a bloody mess, man. You'd have to be insane. That's what you'd have to be. You'd have to be hired for that. There's no way you could do that soft. Oh, my God. That'd be a bloody mess, man. You'd have to be really hired. You'd have to be insane is what you'd have to be. You'd have to be fucked. Okay. Let's try to change the subject for a few minutes. We'll come back to this soft.

I'm determined to figure out that name. All right, so TV shows with real-life fucking consequences. You watched that Squid Game, right? Yes. I haven't watched it yet. Squid Games. Squid Game. And you thought it was good?

It was very well written. Well, here's a real-life fucking consequence. Apparently in the show, I haven't seen it yet, but they give a phone number for people to call. Yes. Down and out.

Well, that's a real phone number. It belongs to a guy in fucking South Korea. And he's getting 4,000 calls a day. And he can't change the number because it's linked to his business. It's on all of his advertisements. Oh, Jesus. And why Murphy? There's got to be a way to monetize shit like that.

I'm telling you. 4,000 fucking free calls a day. He should be. He could start Squid Game. Totally, man. He could start it. He'd say, you know what? Send me ten grand

and I'll get you a spot at the squid game in the stands, in the grand stands. Big bong theory? Oh, shit. No, it's big bong theory. That's a good show. Big bong theory would be a great show. Big bong theory? I guess it got more kids into physics. That's kind of a good

thing, I guess. Yeah. Game of Thrones caused a spike in abandoned dogs. 420%, because they were all going out buying these fucking huskies that looked like wolves. But huskies are demanding and expensive,

so people just said, bye-bye. Sorry, bud. Those people should be put in jail. Agreed. Can't abandon a dog like that. Even though some of them are arseholes, dogs. A CSI, I guess, is fucking up court cases big time.

Because people are on the jury and they're dumb as fuck and they're like, cops like basically caught a guy red handed with the murder weapon, shot somebody. Woman on the jury's like, how come you didn't give him a DNA test? He's like, well, that's on CSI. You don't really give them a DNA test. There's no DNA.

She's like, well, we're going to let them off. Oh, my God. Apparently, it's happened all the time. The people in the jury think that the cops and everybody are supposed to do stuff just like the TV. Because they saw it on CSI. It's fucked. What was the guy's name when CSI started? Or maybe that was Hill Street Blues. What was the guy's name when CSI started?

Or maybe that was Hill Street Blues. It was Quincy. No, what was the guy, you know, he was like a real, real roughhouser. Real looker? You know, and he had the sort of bald and the pointy nose, short, stocky guy. He was the main guy. Sipowitz? What show are we talking about? Was there a Sipowitz?

What show? I don't know. One of those fucking cop shows. Maybe it was Law main guy. Sipowitz? What show are we talking about? Was there a Sipowitz? What show? I don't know. One of those fucking cop shows. Maybe it was Law and Order. There's tons of them, Bob. Maybe it was Law and Order. Oh, I know who you're talking about. The bald dude.

He's bald-ish. Yeah. I don't have a clue. No, that's not it. This guy was... He kind of looked like Randy. Actually, if Randy had a mustache. A mustache.

I think it was Sipowitz. Sipowitz. Don't know, man. Wasn't I? I don't know, mustache. I think it was Sipowitz. Sipowitz. Don't know, man. Wasn't I? I don't know, boys. I'm fucking hammered. Remember Breaking Bad, which was a wicked show?

Walter White? I don't remember this, but somewhere in this fucking series he threw a pizza on someone's roof. Yes. Because he was pissed off. Yes. Real house.

People found out where the house is. They get fucking pizza store on the roof almost every day. Well, that's not bad. Good place to go for lunch then. It would, but if you just had a knack or whatever and then you just pulled them down, free pizza. It got so bad that the writers and the actors and the producers

had to put out messages saying, please stop throwing pizzas in this poor lady's house. I would enjoy it if people were throwing pizzas at me. Why the fuck are you climbing up on your roof every day and picking up fucking sunburned pizza? Pops. Well, yeah, it would have to be fresh and still in the box. We've got to throw a pizza on your fucking shed. Right now?

We should throw bags of money on my shed. Well, that's not going to work. Maybe people, maybe won't catch on. We can start with pizzas and then get into money. And then maybe, you know, bicycles. Electric mopeds. Yeah. On the roof of the shed? Well then it'll catch on and people will start throwing it on my shed.

These are shit that's on fucking TV. We'll put it on the fucking sites, man. We'll put it on for ya. Just like Bangor made it. We'll put it on for ya. Just like Bangor made. Well, put it on for ya. WLBZ TV, Channel 2 in Bangor. W04AK Waterville, W57A2 Palace. Those are great. Remember how fucking wasted we were?

The Great Money movie. Listening to that, then we'd watch that. There's a circle jerk at the Upper Millinocket Community Center. Put it on for ya. Let's bring back memories, boys. What was his name? Oh Fuck Dick Stacy's country jamboree. No, but what was the guy? I don't fucking know. You used to dress up like a lady and do the great money movie. I can't remember his name. Eddie Driscoll. Eddie Driscoll.

Eddie Driscoll. Many drunk nights watching that. The great money movie they put up the secret word you'd call in. Yeah I know all the call signs. I know that. We should go to W... You know. LBZ TV? W, LBZ TV, Channel 2 and Bangor.

That's still a thing. Look it up. W-0-4-A-K, Waterville. Is that motherfucker still alive or what? No. No, Eddie Driscoll died years ago. He was pretty much dead then.

W-0, we should go to Waterville. W-57, AQ, Calis. So we want to do a Dick Stacy's Country Jamboree tour. Do a little tour? Oh, I'd love to go on the Dick Stacy's Country Jamboree. See who got born. On the wings of a snow. What?

Remember that old lady that used to sing? Yeah, she used to sing that. She gave, she wasn't good, but she used to give her. She did not hold back. Curly Howard got born on this day. Curly? Jerome Lester Horowitz. Jerome Lester Horowitz.

Vaudevillian actor, what does that mean? He was started out in vaudeville, Ricky. What does that mean? It's like a type of live theatre, you know, comedy. Ha ha ha! Vaudeville! You know, the old king comes out and pulls you off the stage by the neck. That was Vaudeville. Christopher Lloyd? Christopher Lloyd. He was awesome. He was fantastic. You know who Christopher Lloyd is, right? Yes, I do, man. Who is it then? I don't know what the fuck he's done, man. I can't remember. Back to the Future?

Oh, that guy! The fucking scientist. Yes, man. Jim Ignatowski from Taxi Rock. Okay, I know now. I'm not good with names, man. Oh, 1952, Jeff Goldblum. Goldblum.

The Fly. Wasn't he in Honey, I Shrunk Your Mother? The Fly, man. No, he wasn't in Honey, I Shrunk Your Mother. Lookalike? He was in The Fly.

No, you're thinking of Rick Moranis. Jeff Goldblum, you're thinking of Rick Moranis. Jeff Goldblum doesn't look anything like Rick Moranis. He's very handsome. Handsome? Jeff Goldblum's handsome. Rick Moranis isn't? Well, he's maybe not as handsome as Jeff Goldblum.

I don't, I've never heard of people saying he was handsome. He might do it in a pinch, but he's not handsome. I've never heard of people saying, like, calling him handsome, Bob. Fucking Shaggy. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo got born today. You might do it with a pinch, but he's not handsome. I never heard of people saying, like, calling him handsome, bubs. Mm-hmm. Fucking Shaggy. Oh, you're... Shaggy from Scooby-Doo got born today. Was he handsome, bubs?

Oh, no, sorry. Shaggy the rapper, probably. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Shaggy from Scooby-Doo was a cartoon, Ricky. What's up, bub? Well, he still had to get born at some point. Well, drawn. Born, whatever you want to say.

Spike... Jones? Jones? Spike Jones. J-O-N-Z-E? Yeah, Spike Jones. That's a weird spelling. Yeah. That smells getting fucking strong, right? Timothy Leary. Who's he?

Timothy Leary was the sort of grandfather of acid. Is he the acid guy? Yeah, okay, I know him. Tune in, turn on, drop out. Timothy Leary. Oh yeah. You can smell these motherfuckers. I thought that was a spider mite, man. Close that fucking thing up, man. You're gonna ruin it. It does its thing on its own. Doesn't like to be fucked with.

Doesn't need muscle manipulation. Check need muscle manipulation fucking spider mites blacks it has a spider mite alarm leslie west adam west's cut mississippi queen mississippi queen zach hanson julian one of the hanson brothers oh they had the hockey guys. No. No. The Hansons. It's a little cute singer. Mmm, bop, bop, bop, doo, bop. Give me the bop, bop, doo, bop. Deep, bop, bop, doo. Yeah, yeah.

Mmm, bop, bop, bop, doo, bop. Muscle, muscle. Brian Boitano. Brian Boitano. One of your favorite figure skaters? Canadian figure skater, wasn't he? I don't know. Won gold in 88?

He was Canadian. No, I think he was American. Was he? Go Canada, go. Boitano. Ron Tugnut. He played in Halifax for quite a while before he went to the NHL. Ronnie the Tug.

Famous goalie. Ronnie Tugnut. The Tug. Tug it. He was a tugger. Tyrone Williams. Football guy.. Who's the tugger? Tyrone Williams. Football guy. Played for the Cowboys, I guess.

Who else? Miroslav Satan. Miroslav Satan. The Russian Satan. I'm gonna go with Satan. I don't know. The Russian Devil. Played for the Warriors and the Sabres. Yeah, the Russian Devil his nickname was. Alright. We're done now.

It's time to go fill Ricky's freezer. Fuck's sakes. Just so you know, it's good to recycle everybody. Be like a spider. Spiders eat their webs to recycle them. So keep that in mind, even though they're doing that. What the fuck are you talking about? Spiders man, they eat their webs to recycle them. So how does that... Tom Cruise eats something to recycle it to. How does that carry over to us?

I don't make webs, man. I know. I'm just big... Does Spider-Man recycle his web? Spider-Web leaves them hanging all over New York City. Then spiders come in and eat them. All right, I'm done. I'm fucked. I need to go do something. I need... You know what I wish wish I had a gun about this big. A tiny gun.

They make them. I'd go in an M&M meat shop right now and say, Hello, boys. I need to fill my freezer. They make a little tiny gun. A little mini gun. Really? Yeah, it's like this big. How much?

Like that big? 6 to 800 bucks, man. You get them in Switzerland. No, it's not that big. Yes, it fucking is. It's this big, Rick. I gotta get one. It's a six-shooter. Yeah, you pay 6 to 800 bucks, man. You get them in Switzerland. No, it's not that big. Yes, it fucking is. It's this big, Rick. I gotta get one. It's a six-shooter. Yeah, you pay 6 to 800 bucks and it floods.

Why do you need a little tiny mini gun? Because it probably wouldn't kill you. It probably just hurts you like a mosquito. Oh, it would hurt you, man. It's a gun, Ricky. You don't need any guns. You know what, though? The only problem with a small gun, people probably wouldn't take you seriously.

If you're pointing a gun this big at someone like this, give me all your money. Nobody's gonna take you serious. They're gonna think it's a toy. I mean, until you- Until you blast one. Until you blast one. Probably just bounce off their glasses or whatever. Definitely bounce off certain people.

You know what I got for you, Ricky? Is that a mini gun? That's a mini gun for you. No, it is not. What's this? Oh, you is not. What's this? Oh, you fucker. See? Oh, my God, look at the size of it. Isn't that cute?

That's fucking adorable. That's terrible. I was joking when I said there was a minigun. Bubz, if I could ever have something like a gift in the future, if you make money from this, I want one of those fucking guns. I'm not buying you guys guns. Especially miniguns. If I win the lottery, I'm spending it all on miniguns.

Me too. Well not all of it, then I'll sell them. Alright. That's good business. Miniguns. Nobody's gonna call you miniguns. Nope. Pops.