Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 23 - Conkyween

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Ricky's declorated the trailer, Bubbs has brought some f**ked costumes, and Julian's got pumpkin rage! Join the Boys for a Halloween f**karound, along with a devilish little f**kin' guest... ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. I just don't get it, man. Huh? I just don't get it. Like, all this shit. Like, the time you wasted putting all this shit up, man. It's for get it, man. Huh? I just don't get it. Like, all this shit. Like, the time you wasted putting all this shit up, man. It's for Mo, man. Well, Mo's not even fucking here, is he?
Starting point is 00:00:31 He's gonna be at some point. He's not gonna be here this year, man. I'm telling you. Trin's too busy. Like, this... How long did it take you to decorate this fucking place? A while. Like, look at all this shit.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Two, three, four hours, two days, what? How long? But I picked away at it over a week. A week? See, that's one week that... You know how much money you lost just because of this shit? You didn't pay for any of this stuff, did you? It's a good holiday, man. It's supposed to be fun for the kids, all right? Holiday.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Look at you. You're fucking lame, as usual. Who's lame? You don't make no fucking effort. Because I'm a grown adult, man. You make no effort for any fucking holidays. Yeah, because holidays are fucked. You're a lame-o, whatever you are. Jesus, Ricky.
Starting point is 00:01:13 And this still isn't safe, man. You gotta rewire that. Hey, bubs. Hey, boys. Wait till you see what I got. Holy pack. Some of the best costumes we've ever had. I don't have a costume. You told me to go get costumes. Wait till you see what I got. Holy pack! Some of the best costumes we've ever had. I already have a costume. You told me to go get costumes, so I got costumes.
Starting point is 00:01:31 No, you never showed up, so I got my own. Well, get that off, Ricky. No, man, this is awesome. I'm the Lost Ninja. Check it out. Look at this. Rock, paper, scissors. Get it? No. Rock, paper, scissors. Ricky the Game. Look, you'll be the scissors.
Starting point is 00:01:48 What about the lost ninja? Well, Ricky, put the fucking scissors on. This is gonna be awesome, and obviously you can... Oh, my God, you can be the rock! That's perfect! I mean, you're already dressed up as the rock. Dressed up as the rock. But now here... I'm not dressed up as The Rock. Dressed up as The Rock?
Starting point is 00:02:06 But now here's... I'm not dressed up fucking stupid. It's just... How much did you pay for this shit? It's marked down. Look, 75% off because it's from two years ago. So you pay like five bucks for that, six bucks? Not even.
Starting point is 00:02:19 You know what? Fuck you. I'm not wearing it. Nobody cares about... Oh, I get it. It's April Fool's Halloween. Where you're just pulling my leg and pretending to be Gatweez. Is that what this is? You just do... Why don't you do the whole thing?
Starting point is 00:02:34 The Lost Ninja will wear scissors, I guess, but it's gonna be kind of weird. What hair are you? I'm the Lost Ninja that came back from the dead. What does that even mean, Ricky? Look at this, boys. This is as good as it gets for me, man. It won't fit.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Ricky, that's not how you do it. That looks better, man. You look like a fucking... Fuck, boys, I guess that. Now imagine if I tried to make that out of bristleboard. How long it would take me to get all those lines on there straight? It'd just take a bunch of fucking pieces of paper on a glute or something. No, but now I'm paper.
Starting point is 00:03:09 If somebody sees me and him and you... You play like Tic Tac Toe on your chest. Here, Julian. Be the rock. You love the rock. You're worse at Halloween than you are fucking at Christmas. Why do you want to do holidays so much?
Starting point is 00:03:28 Because holidays are just a waste of fucking money, and we don't have a lot of money, man. Here, Bubs, come here for a sec. I'll be the rock if I can put something on here. Don't. What are you drawing on me? All right, there you go. What is it?
Starting point is 00:03:47 It's a cock. It's a very bad drawn cock. I don't draw them as good as you guys. Why would you do that? Was that permanent? What's this permanent? It's permanent, yes. It's permanent. What's this little guy? It's a little bit of hair or something. Oh, that's nice. My costume's ruined.
Starting point is 00:04:02 There could be some drips or whatever coming out of it. Throw some hair on the bag. Yeah, okay, fine. Hey, here we go. Fine, yeah, here. You don't want to fucking be nice. I'm not fucking wearing that, Bubz. Put it on, The Rock. Why don't you put this on your back?
Starting point is 00:04:19 Check this out, man. All right, man. Bubz. There we go. Put this Arm in. Bups. There we go. Put this one in. Over here. There you go. There, you're all set, man. Go trick or treat.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Okay, this is how we're gonna play it, is it? I'm ready for trick or treating. I'm ready for battle. Okay, fine. That's fine. I know how to play this game. It'd be a scary piece of paper. Have that little skull. Yeah, okay. That's just fine. That's just fine.
Starting point is 00:04:53 And guess what? I was gonna give you this. I don't want that. This is, like, why don't you just use a real one? It's plastic. I was gonna give that to you guys, and now I'm keeping it. Look at that. Johnny's a real hip shaker. You could own that. That's not very scary.
Starting point is 00:05:17 What? Not very scary. No, it's a disco skeleton. He's five-skinned criminal. No, actually. Oh, it's a desical skeleton. These frogs can turn it off. No, Axie. It's going to fucking play out for the rest of the day. Oh, man. All right, let's just listen to this bucket then.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Look, I brought my whole Halloween kit. I thought we were going to have a great Halloween. When do we ever fucking partake in Halloween? Like, in DuPont business shit? I do. Look at my fucking trailer. Well, yeah, you do, but that's for Mo, but he's not gonna be here this year. And I do, so what do you mean, we? You're the only one that doesn't.
Starting point is 00:05:56 And I got you a perfect costume. All you gotta do is put it on. You wouldn't even do that. Keep it up, boys. Keep it up. Keep it the fuck up. I'm quite happy right now because I can't lose. You know what, Ricky? The only thing that kills me is rock, and there is no rock.
Starting point is 00:06:17 And I cut through paper, so I'm the winner. You didn't even carve out your pumpkins, did you? Unbelievable. You didn't even curve out your pumpkins, did you? Unbelievable. You didn't get me one. What do you think that is? This one? No, that one's already done. That one's gone bad.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Oh, I got you one to curve. Do you want me to fucking help us? Jesus fucking Christ. Here, curve this one out. I'm not curving. Give me the fucking, like, little lighter. You're not, no. We're going old school. No. I'm not curving. Give me the fucking lights. You got a lighter? You're not, no.
Starting point is 00:06:46 You're not using. We're going old school. I'm not using that thing. Give me a lighter, Rhett. What are you doing, man? I'm putting a fucking candle in the fucking pumpkin. With that lighter, you're not. Ricky, you need to get some butane, man.
Starting point is 00:07:05 You need to take some fucking hand beer. There we go. You want to know what drug it is? No, I don't have any. I don't even know what it does. First, you got to melt a little wax in there so you can make a base for your fucking candle. What the fuck is that? A talk chopper?
Starting point is 00:07:26 It's a chopper, man. Sounds like a chopper. Fuck. All right, you guys keep going. I'm gonna do this Halloween thing. This costume is not very fucking beverage or food friendly. Is Julian a carves pumpkin?
Starting point is 00:07:47 You know what, if these edibles kick in and give me a nice buzz on, it makes me wanna do something like that, I will do it. If not, it's not gonna happen, so. It's probably not gonna happen. Well, you ruined Halloween, I hope you're happy. Oh, I ruined it, did I? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:04 You definitely didn't make it. No. Well, check this fucking out, will ya? Oh, wow. Julian saved Halloween. It's too tall, man. You can't even put the top back on that. It's gonna burn the fuck out of it.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Yeah. Good job, Julian. Well, give me a fucking knife. You gotta have one fucking job. Fuck. You just gotta fucking work with it, man. You fuck up, you work with it. Jesus, boys, fuck off. Anything to get the muscles flexin'.
Starting point is 00:08:44 That didn't go very well. No, it just shut up. I always make off. Anything to get the muscles flexin'. That didn't go very well. No, it did shut up. Any task that'll get those muscles fuckin' rippin', he'll do it. Anything else, not interested. There, how's that? That's one of the most fucked up things I've ever seen in my life. You fuckin' piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I should've just brought some fucking Halloween dumbbells. Yeah, you would have put those on. Like why? Why would you say that? Because then you would have participated in Halloween if you were going out as fucking Joe Weider. This is kind of like a Halloween dumbbell. You could use these. You actually could. But I'm not gonna. I'm fixing this fucking thing. You fucking piece of shit. Welcome to Science with Julian.
Starting point is 00:09:32 I'm not in the mood for this, bubs. Did half your brain fall out this morning? It's the edibles, man. They really fucking make things a lot more difficult than they should be. I don't even know what the fuck you're trying to do, but... He's trying to fucking put the top. Well, there's no top left. Fucking Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Okay. Happy Halloween, bubs. What's this all about? I don't know. The edibles haven't kicked in enough yet. No, man, you got pumpkin rage. Bubs, that's my costume. Just let me fucking clean off my laptop, man.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Okay. Hey, here, you want to take that? Go for it. Go for it. What? Why are you getting like this, bubs? Because you're ruining Halloween on purpose. So, okay, so you're going to ruin it for everybody now? No.
Starting point is 00:10:32 All right, I'm sorry, okay? No, fair enough. I'm fucking sorry, man. Fair enough. I got fucking wax on my laptop. Here, hold this back. You got no one to blame but yourself on that one. You need to stop breaking shit, man. Here. Hold this back. You got no one to blame but yourself on that one.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Can you stop breaking shit, man? Bob, I fixed the fucking pumpkin. It's now a skull coming out of the pumpkin. All right? Are we back to being friends again or what? Oh, yeah, we're good. Yeah. All right. Just continue on, boys. Yeah, we're just going to have a nice, calm Halloween, then. Oh, my. Why would you do that?
Starting point is 00:11:20 No, no, no, no, no. Why? Chop them up, man. Oh, well, look who it is. Ricky, Ricky. I'm not dealing with that little fucking piece. I'm not dealing with any of this shit, so thanks, bubs. Yeah, Ricky, bro, you're a pumpkin.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Oh, Ricky sucks cocks. You think that's funny? Thanks for ruining Halloween, bubs. That's funny, you little shit. He made you a pumpkin. Is your hand inside his head? He made you a pumpkin. Is your hand inside his head?
Starting point is 00:11:50 Why don't you sit down Ricky you fucking idiot? Hey muscles. Thanks for ruining Halloween, bubs. Thanks for going, but we're gonna get a lot more fun. No, I'm not the one that took a roid rage and fucking wrecked the pumpkin with an axe. Roid rage? Whatever, here. You ruined it. May as well just take everything down now, man. You ruined it. Oops.
Starting point is 00:12:09 Sorry, bud. What are you doing, man? Well, he's fucking... If he wants to do that, I'm taking everything down. Don't take it out on me. Well, I'm taking it out on him. Well, it's got nothing to do with me. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Just leave them there. Look at Julian acting out like a three-year-old. Oh, Julian, just, he's not gonna say anything. Look who's playing with a fucking doll. Who is? Get him. You are, man. Why don't you take a deep breath, muscles? Do you interest? I'm not coming back till you put him down, man. He's fine. He's not gonna say anything. Ricky, get rid of that fucking thing for me, please.
Starting point is 00:12:58 I don't know what to do to him, because if I chop his head off, it means I chopped Bubba's hand off. Who are you supposed to be, Ricky? Fucked up C-3PO? Oh, my God. Okay, you know what, bubs? You don't need... Ricky. Is that hand important?
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yes. Ricky, do not. I fucking dare you, Ricky. Donkey, he'll do it. Here, we can just have this here. Look, it's like alternate universe Julian. You know, and he'll have this here. Look, it's like alternate universe Julian. You know, and he'll probably be nicer. There.
Starting point is 00:13:30 You're not using this fucking thing to replace me, bubs. Right? I could never replace you, Julian. Put him away. I could never replace you. What do I gotta do to get you to cook? Unless I bought 80 pounds of burger meat and
Starting point is 00:13:47 stuffed it into a t-shirt. Julian? That's real funny. He's just Julian. Oh, he's just... Alright. Here I go. Back to the coach, man. Fuck you, bubs. Come on, you big succulent piece of tenderloin. Come on, you big
Starting point is 00:14:03 succulent piece of tenderloin. Conky, stop teasing him about his muscles. He's sensitive. Okay, boys, let's start the park after dark. Should we? Nope. Yeah, we're starting it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Oh, Conky. I didn't even read that, Ricky. Oh, I read it. That's why I want to chop his fucking head off. Well, it's a cute pumpkin, at least. It's a little tiny. Conky size. There.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Photo op. Ricky. Okay, let's talk about some stuff. Halloween. Can we cut one of his hands off at least? Happy Halloween, everybody. Yes, welcome to the park after the dark for the Halloweens.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Well, let's wait for the big muscular suck to get back over here. Who's suckin'? Julian. What? Just please come back. He'll calm down. All right, just don't be fucking around
Starting point is 00:15:07 with that thing with me, man. I'm not in the mood, bubs. All right, he's fine. Come on, you big bag of milk. Cunky. He's a muscular bag of meat. A muscular bag of meat. It's a scary lightning on the ceiling, man.
Starting point is 00:15:31 What the fuck is the deal with this thing? Okay, boys, can we get... There you go. Oh, yeah, look at that, man. That's some scary shit right there. Terrifying. It's lightning on me, man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:51 All right, pups. The perfect musical score for Julian's personality. Dark. So it happened again. This fucking Good Samaritan in Daytona Beach, Florida found 11 fucking pounds of cocaine washed up on the beach and turned it in. Well, that wasn't the best idea. Like, fuck.
Starting point is 00:16:17 That's like retirement. How much money worth of this? 11 pounds of cocaine washed up on the beach and instead of fucking retiring they turned it into the police. Yeah, because he probably didn't want to get murdered over it, man. You start dealing with shit like that sometimes... How would they even trace it back to him, dummy?
Starting point is 00:16:35 Conky. You don't even need to be in this conversation. Was he just talking to me? No. He wasn't. I think he could have been. I'm just saying, you get into that shit, all of a sudden you've got, like...
Starting point is 00:16:47 So if you were walking the beach and you found 11 pounds worth of cocaine, you'd just be like, oh, 911. No, I'd sell it. I'd probably sell it to somebody. But if you're Joe Blow walking your fucking dog down the fucking beach with your girl and you find it, you're not going to take it.
Starting point is 00:17:05 You'd turn into a hell of a birdie. Did you ever see that show, on the fucking beach with your girl, and you find it, you're not gonna take it. You're trying to sell it. That one's a hell of a birdie. Did you ever see that show, what is it, True Romance, the movie? Yeah, but what do you think's gonna happen? You get a bunch of Colombians coming back, and you know, what will you do? Oh yeah, Pablo Escobar's definitely gonna fly up
Starting point is 00:17:18 from Colombia over a couple of pounds. Definitely. Conky, he's a good point though. Pablo Escobar's not gonna care about a couple pounds. He's dead, but how many pounds are you talking about? 11. It's 11 pounds. Oh, let's take the jet from Columbia
Starting point is 00:17:35 at a cost of about 200,000 in fuel to try to solve the mystery of the missing couple pounds of coke. 11 pounds. I don't think that would... I think Conky's got a point. That's like over four keys, man. That's a lot. Yeah, not that much. You basically gotta deal with the people that were supposed to pick the shit up, right?
Starting point is 00:17:57 That's what I'm talking about. Maybe not the people from Columbia, or maybe the Columbians. I don't know, they could be from somewhere. They could be from a fucking island. Ireland? An island somewhere. One of those wrong. I don't know. It could be from somewhere. It could be from a fucking island. Ireland? An island. One of those islands. I don't fucking know, man. Ireland's not an island, is it? Ireland?
Starting point is 00:18:12 Ireland's not an island, is it? Brilliant quote of 2022. Conky, just... He's not very nice. I guess that's why he's dressed up as a devil. Little asshole. Anyway, I don't understand why people have to be good Samaritans with fucking 11 pounds worth of
Starting point is 00:18:30 Primo drugs. Oh, this is fucked up too. This woman was trying to get, their deputies were trying to serve her eviction notice. She's like, oh, oh yeah, I to serve her eviction notice. She's like, oh, yeah, I'll be back in a second. So she went and picked up a trailer full of bees. She's a beekeeper.
Starting point is 00:18:55 And just fucking unleashed the bees on the deputies. Said, fuck you. That's hardcore. I'm going to start fucking getting bees going here in case they try to arrest me ever. You can't, Ricky, You're not getting bees. I guess, because now she's fucking in a lot of trouble. A couple of the deputies were actually allergic to the bees, so I wasn't good. Now she's in fucking jail.
Starting point is 00:19:18 But it's a good weapon. I never thought of using bees as a weapon. Oh, it's a fantastic weapon. Very convenient in many situations. So what did they use? I wasn't listening to you. They used the bees to do what? To fucking attack the deputies so she couldn't get served her eviction notice. I would never have thought of it, but if you had some special gun that could fire out a thousand bees... You know what? She should have had some honey with her. Fucking splattered them with honey and then let the bees go. You know what she should have? She should have had some honey with her. Splattered them with honey and then let the bees go. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:19:50 This is one of the most brilliant conversations I've ever heard. We should build a bee gun and then splatter people with honey. It's not a bad idea. What's wrong with that? Better than a taser gun. What? It'd be better than a taser gun What? It'd be better than a taser gun A bee gun Freaky
Starting point is 00:20:10 But you know what's even better than bees, I think, would be like a wasp gun Oh, yeah Oh, what an upgrade They can sting multiple times They sting once, you're dead Wasps will just keep fucking biting you or whatever they do, man Problem solved! Yeah, it's still an issue with how do you store them.
Starting point is 00:20:31 What type of device are they in? Are they in a canister? Yeah, like a T-shirt gun canister. But don't you just... If you had food and everything in there, it'd be not that bad. What do bees eat? What do bees eat? What do they eat? Meat?
Starting point is 00:20:50 Ricky. Are they meat eaters? They're not fucking meat, no man. They go around and they land on little flowers and shit and suck all the shit out of it and then they go back to the beehive. Yes, you often see bees at the fucking butcher shop hanging around the dumpsters trying to get a piece of meat
Starting point is 00:21:10 to drag back to the nest. Yeah, I'm on his side on this one, Rick. That was a pretty dumb fucking thing to say. I don't know what the fuck a bee, I've never been a bee. You often see tenderloins flying through the air for no reason, but then you realize it's dangling from a bee. Well, flies and shit, they like the meat.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Well, yeah, Ricky, but they don't, they're not meat eaters. They lay eggs in meat because it's warm and moist, like your mother, Jesus Christ. Conky. All right, that was a good one, Conky. Like, that's a good one. All right, that was a good one, Coggy. Like, that's a good one.
Starting point is 00:21:45 All right, the head's coming off. So you keep doing that, I'll stay here with you all day and drink, Bob's. Yeah, okay, I'll just, Ricky, just look, he's delicate in his little costume. My good Ricky, that's my arm you're hitting. Nothing sharp. Okay, next.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Next topic. Who's a good boy? I am, fellas. This fucking British woman, she got accidentally shot and killed by her boyfriend during a wild boar hunt. What? killed by her boyfriend during a wild boar hunt. What? Like, every time people accidentally get killed during a hunt, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:30 It seems a little suspicious to me. A wild boar hunt? Yeah. Oh, my gun accidentally went off. Or, oh, I thought she was a wild boar. Bullshit. You know, I guarantee you, if we, three of us, went hunting sometime, like, out in the woods
Starting point is 00:22:44 for a few nights, one of us would accidentally die. I'd say there's... I've seen an accident. 75% chance of that happening. I wouldn't go on a wild boar hunt. I wouldn't either. Or if that's what it is every night, Ricky's mother's at the bar. Conky.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Okay. Honestly, how much is this dead ninja supposed to take here, man? Well, that was kind of... He's just joking around, man. He's joking around while I bore hunt. Your mom used to go to the bars a lot. Like, a lot. Seven days a week.
Starting point is 00:23:16 A lot. So do you. I did. But I'm just saying, so did your mother. Should have been maybe having her lunches made or something. She worked there. Her school. Yeah, what's... I don't saying, so did your mother. You should have been maybe having your lunches made or something. She worked there. Her school. Yeah, what's... I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Stripping. She didn't strip. Well, probably when she was younger. Okay. Back to the task at hand. Man, these are... I don't know where these all came from. It's all about death and depression and shit.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Well, it's Halloween, Ricky. That's what we're supposed to be talking about. Oh, okay. Buzz, the word awkward, where did that come from? The word what? Awkward. Awkward? It's like an old English dialect word that describes something, and that's what awkward was. It describes your mother wondered
Starting point is 00:24:08 if she should take it in the face or off the back. Conky. Okay. Okay. That was actually kind of funny, boss. I don't know where awkward came from, but. That's where it came from. All right, one guess, man,
Starting point is 00:24:23 other than my mother doing something. Awkward. Something to do with awks. Really? The ward of an auk. No, man. I don't know then. It describes a creature that's lying on its back
Starting point is 00:24:37 and can't get up, like a turtle, you flip one over, they're like, eh, eh, or a beetle or something. I love that. That's awkward, man. That is fucking awkward. Still talking about your mother, are you? She's been on her back, Julian, and couldn't get up. I remember. That's why, like, why are you saying this shit to me?
Starting point is 00:24:55 I'm not saying it. I told you, you've got to talk, talk to him. I love when she used to do that move she called the turtle. Okay. The turtle. When she used to snap that move she called the turtle. Okay. The turtle. When she used to snap her head in inside her shoulders. She used to be able to put most of her head down inside her. You never even fucking met my mother.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I'm just saying. So she had the move called the turtle. She had one called the turtle, yeah. And it was awkward. It was very awkward when she used to do it in front of the children. I like the move, the anteater. The what? The anteater. What was that, Ricky?
Starting point is 00:25:38 It's just a lot of suction. Whose fucking mum was in that one? The anteater. That sounds like how you were created, Julian. What do you mean by that? Maybe she was doing the anteater on a stranger. What is the anteater? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Just a lot of suction. I don't know. Just a lot of suction. Boys, there's gotta be something on this fucking, somewhere we can learn something maybe? Instead of talking about ants inside of a woman's privates. That's not what it was. With ants, anteaters coming up.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Do you know what an anteater is? Yeah. They eat ants. What do they look like? They got a fucking nose and they dive. I was thinking that you, what, my mother was in a porn or where... They look like a furry miniature elephant. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:34 A what? Kinda. They got long noses. They don't look like elephants. They haven't seen... Weren't you talking about my mother being into porn with a fucking ant ill? No, nobody even mentioned a porn. I don't know what the fuck's going on
Starting point is 00:26:52 with my brain right now, because that's what I thought you said. Your brain is gone, man. Look at the pumpkin in front of you. Oh, it's those fucking pumpkin edible things, man. Where are they? Speaking of things that look like mini elephants, how is the old lady?
Starting point is 00:27:07 My mom? Yes, that is what he was referring to. Just back to your paid vacation. Because I haven't seen her in how long? Forty years, maybe? I don't know. Has it been that long?
Starting point is 00:27:24 That's real funny, bubs. Okay, what else is happening, maybe? I don't know. Has it been that long? Yeah, it's real funny, bubs. Okay, what else is happening, Ricky? Well, this was a, this is a good idea, and I think we should all do this. This Texas grandma, she passed away. She left everybody a little card or whatever, or a little present. And inside, it says, keep in touch,
Starting point is 00:27:43 and she left a little mini Ouija board. Hmm. What? Oh, yeah. It's kind of funny. I like it. It's kind of fucked. What if it works?
Starting point is 00:27:56 Well, it doesn't. If we had a Ouija board here right now, we could probably talk to her. How is this even a fucking story? What do you mean, man? She left a Ouija board to her kids or something? Yeah, grandkids or kids, everyone. And then keep in touch? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Well, it could be one of those weird jokes that works out right. It won't, though, Ricky, because Ouija boards aren't real. How do you know? I've been on one, and it worked. And I was on one before and it did work, loves. Here we fucking go.
Starting point is 00:28:29 The supernatural. What are you gonna say next? There's no such thing as ghosts? Well, Ricky, just... When you were on the Ouija board, you were doing it by yourself, first of all, so that's weird that it worked, but that's your subconscious doing it by yourself, first of all, so that's weird that it worked. But that's your subconscious doing it.
Starting point is 00:28:49 That proves that it's real. No, it proves that you have the ability to trick your own brain when you're fucking that high. Is that a good quality? It could be. I suppose. This is a good fucking scam, Julian. We should do this next time we're in jail. This California woman, she's been charged with obtaining more than $145,000
Starting point is 00:29:12 in fraudulent unemployment benefits under the names of killers. What? Yeah. Scott Peterson, Corey Stainer. She worked for a private company that was employed by the prison. Yeah. So she had all their personal information. Yeah, she's collecting all these unemployment benefits for all these killers.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Coming right to her house. This is obviously down the States, is it? Yeah, so we could do it in Canada. What kind of fucking unemployment? We could be the first ones. You get paid, like, unemployment checks when you're in jail? Like, how does that even work? Well, they don't check, because they're dumb. What were the names she used?
Starting point is 00:29:45 What were the killers' names? Scott Peterson. Yeah. And Corey Stainer. Corey Stainer? Isn't that somebody? That's what they used to call your mother, the Stainer. OK.
Starting point is 00:29:57 OK, yes. She did ruin a lot of sheets. She soiled a lot of sheets, but that's no reason. You know, Bubs, the first couple of mama jokes were funny. Now you're... Now you're out of line. Oh, tell him. I'm not talking to your fucking puppet.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Yes, sir. All right. Yes, sir, Julian. I'm done. We need to go to the liquor store, because if I'm going trick-or-treating with Motown, I'm gonna need to be super fucked. Well, I'm gonna have to do something else tonight, because I'm not trick or treating with Motown, I'm gonna need to be super fucked. Well, I'm gonna have to do something else tonight,
Starting point is 00:30:26 because I'm not hanging out with you, bubs, tonight. Sorry, bud. Give us a little kiss kiss. Nope. Give us a little kiss kiss. Whatever these pumpkin edibles are, plus that and you, it's not happening. I'm out of here.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Wow. I'm gonna take a fucking nap. Well, the nap was a success then, wasn't it? OK, Conky, it's fine. Ricky, Ricky, that's made of metal. That's not one of the plastic Halloween swords. No, it's not. I don't like it, Ricky.
Starting point is 00:30:57 I don't like you. I don't like him. Well. Well, thanks for fucking tuning in. Happy Halloween, everybody. Next time you come back, this motherfucker's dead, and hopefully he's not. To watch the video version of Park After Dark
Starting point is 00:31:16 in my fucking trailer, go to swearnet.com or download the Swearnet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.

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