Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 23 - New Year's Regulations

Episode Date: January 7, 2016

It's 2016 for everyone... except Ricky! The Boys discuss their plans to get healthy after their New Year's blowout, pig gut condoms, and Ricky's Twister boner! Episode 23 is brought to you by Jukasa vapor products!  

All right boys, let's get this going. Is it time? It's time. It's 2016. Happy fucking New Year again. We already said New Year last time, but now it's really like the New Year almost. Not quite the New Year, because the New Year doesn't start yet, but... Anyway, happy 2016 again. Wait now, Rick, Rick.

What do you mean? Wait, back her up. What do you mean the New Year doesn't start yet? It's 2016 right now. I guess according to the calendar, yeah, the New Year has begun, depending on whose calendar you're following. But my New Year does not fucking start yet because it's the same thing. It's still fucking winter. It's not a new year.

There's nothing different about it. So the new year for me starts in the fucking spring when it gets warm. Ricky, that doesn't make any fucking sense, man. At New Year's, things can change, and they haven't. It's still fucking same snow that was here last fucking year. So when that snow melts, it's spring. That's the new year, and that's when I fucking start celebrating 2016. So when you're writing a check, well, not that you've ever written a fucking check,

but if you were, you know, writing down, filling out a form, what year would you put? Okay. It is probably as the population wants it to be a new year. But not for me, is all I'm saying. I don't officially start thinking, As the population wants it to be a new year. But not for me, is all I'm saying. I don't officially start thinking, okay, now it's fucking 2016 until winter's gone, spring is here, snow is gone. But you need like exact dates. So what, you have your own calendar year that starts when? There's no official date when the fucking warmth and snow are gone and the warmth comes.

New year. Well, you've got to have an official fucking date. What, it changes every year? I think it should change every year. Why the fuck does it have to be the same day? And when that day comes, we're going to have another New Year's fucking party, and that's when, that'll be my last night before I start all my changes. What day do you pick?

Just, you just base it on the snow? It's usually March, sometimes April, sometimes it's February. Remember two years ago in February, all the snow was gone, it was warm as fuck. New year. Oh my god. That's when you start your regolutions. What about when the groundhog comes out? Do you even, do you fucking pay attention to that?

The what? The groundhog, when he comes out, you know, and looks around. You mean the sea otter. The what? Are you talking about the fucking thing that comes out in the spring that tells you it's the first day of summer? Yeah, the sea otter comes out of the ocean. If it's fucking warm, he curls up on the beach and fucking gets a little sun. If it's shitty out, he goes back to the fucking ocean with the dolphins.

And winter lasts a lot fucking longer, doesn't it? That's so fucked, man. No, it's not a sea otter. It's not a fucking sea otter. It's a lot fucking longer, doesn't it? That's so fucked, man. No, it's not a sea otter. It's not a fucking sea otter. It's a fucking groundhog. That's why it's called Groundhog Day. It's not Sea Otter Day. Well, it must be something different than my dad.

We celebrated something with the fucking sea otter. We used to get out on the beach, see if the fucking sea otter would come up on the beach, and most years he didn't. So on Groundhog Day, you guys would head to the beach and wait for the sea otter. Sea Otter Day, that's that fucking sea world. Groundhog Day is...

He's talking about the sea otters down at the fucking wildlife park. What the fuck? That are in the tank every fucking year. What's the groundhog thing, then? It's the groundhog that comes out of the fucking hole, man. If it sees a shadow, it gets afraid, it takes off. That's the fucking stupidest thing I ever heard. I mean, a sea otter makes a fucking lot more sense. It comes out of the water. If it's warm, it stays out of the water. If it doesn't, it goes back to the dolphin and says,

it's too fucking cold. It's not a sea otter, man. It's not laying my fucking eggs yet. It's too fucking cold. Laying their eggs? Oh, my fuck, Ricky. Anyway, happy fucking... Happy 2016 for most of the world. Except for one person who it hasn't changed new year yet. New resolutions, being healthy. Look at this. Look at that.

How's it tasting? It's delicious, Ricky. Vodka and lettuce. Vodka, lettuce is my new drink. I'm not a big fan of the green stuff, but this one here has got a bit of orange, some peach, some mangroves, and just a little hint of banana and vodka. So we're drinking healthier? Oh, yeah, no, mine's tequila.

Tequila and lettuce. Oh, it is tequila, you're right. Tequila, Bob, what does that like? Healthy. Did you blend it up? Ricky made it. Jesus Christ. Well, instead of just having a fucking tequila straighter, tequila with whatever,

I mean, this is, yes, I am drinking, but it's a healthy drink because it's got different vitamins. I understand that one, but, like, lettuce. How did you liquefy the lettuce, by the way? I didn't even ask. Did you see the fucking new blender that Lucy got me? No. Fuck, man. It'd chop humans up if you threw them in there small enough.

It's crazy. It's a juicer. Not that you'd ever want to do that. You got a juicer. So you're juicing up lettuce, man. It's not really a juicer. It's a turbo blender. I don't know.

I don't want to fucking taste that. The lettuce doesn't even have a taste, man. It's a lequila. It's a lequila. Lequila. Lequila. Lettuce and tequila. So, although I don't start officially, like when the new year comes for me in spring, I'm probably gonna try to give up everything to be healthy for a bit.

So I can be around for Mo and shit. But, you know, I am gonna start... I'm starting to work into it. I didn't get this list done yet. But I'm just working on the days of the week. On Sunday I'm gonna do nothing. No fucking cigarettes. No vapor. No fucking drinking. Monday, I've only got to Tuesday, so for Monday, one cigarette, two drinks, healthy drinks like this. And a little vapor.

Actually, I could have a little bit of that right now. Thank you, Jucasa. See, I can live off this stuff, boys. This will be good. Oh yeah, I mean, that's probably a good thing. I mean, you can smoke that around Moe, any kids. It's not a problem. Well, that's the thing around kids. This is actually healthy. You don't smoke that around Moe, do you? You can smoke that shit. It's just vapor, man.

Smells good, too. He likes to taste it. And you just go up like this, like, dee-dee-dee-dee-dee this, like... Thinks you're playing a little flute, a little song. He thinks you're playing a flute when you go... That's a great idea, man. See, that's what parents should know about this shit. They get one of those, they can pretend it's a flute, smoke it around their kids. You could be bottle feeding or breast feeding, have them right on your fucking knee and smoking away. Rick, Rick, can you just hold that up again?

And Bubbs could just read what's on that sign back there. What? Right there. Hold that up. What, chacaza? Yeah. And... Play a little flute. Now take a puff. Chacaza.

You're doing ads for them. Well, it's, you know, we've got a contract going with these guys. Well, you didn't fucking tell me that. You just said we got some free shit from them. Well, you get, yeah, that's part a contract going with these guys. You didn't fucking tell me that. You just said we got some free shit from them. Well, yeah, that's part of the contract shit, man. You have free Vapo shit. Anyway, I think everybody should pick one day a week and do nothing. I'm going to try it.

Fuck it. Then I'm going to gradually build into the weekend. Like today is Friday, and I'm fucking pumped because on Fridays, although I'm not going to smoke too much, except when I drink, which will be later at night, I'm going to party pretty fucking hard tonight, boys. I almost died New Year's Day, and this will be the first time I really let loose since then. That was a bad party, boys.

That was a bad one. You know, we've been drinking for many years, boys, together, but New Year's Day party was fucking out of control. And I think it had to do something with this podcast that we're doing, right? We had to be, like, all chilled out for the podcast New Year's Day. Or New Year's Eve.

I was still pretty fucked up. Somebody said I fell asleep in the fridge. Is that true? You fell asleep in many places, man. We couldn't even fucking wake you up at one point. But New Year's Day was a whole different fucking, man.

Do you remember Bubbles giving you mouth-to-mouth to try to fucking get you going again? No, I Day was a whole different fucking man. Do you remember Bubbles giving you mouth to mouth to try to fucking get you going again? No, I had memory loss for two fucking days. That was a bad one.

That deer walked around the entire park. Entire park. Just shirt and shoes. Like the walking dead. Pants and underwear. Gone. Fuck off.

Everybody. People were out taking pictures of you. Great. With their phones. Randy showed a video of it by the way. You might want to talk to him. Everybody. People were out taking pictures of you. Great. With their phones. Randy showed a video of it, by the way. You might want to talk to him. Yeah.

And that's why I've decided I need to chill out a little bit. So on Sundays, nothing. It's okay to chill out, but you don't have to. But just wait, Ricky. What actual resolution did you make? Because basically you just said, you're just going to get fucked up all the time. But, you know, I've been drinking too much,

definitely smoking too many cigarettes and way too many fucking joints. I know, but you're still going to get fucked up all the time. But, you know, I've been drinking too much, definitely smoking too many cigarettes and way too many fucking joints. I know, but you're still going to do the same amount. You're just organizing when you do. It's a scheduled time that you're going to do it now. No, I know, but I'm actually going to try to go with one cigarette on Mondays. But you said except for when you're drinking, and you drink every night. But if I try to keep the drinks down, just two healthy drinks on Monday and Tuesday, nothing on Sundays.

That's a pretty good regulation. And I wouldn't say that that's a healthy drink, Rick. If you're on the health trip, that's not a fucking healthy drink. This has healthy stuff in it. Oh, man, it's mango, like, pop or something. It's a soft drink. It's all sugar. Nope.

Liquor. Those are real mangroves. Real fucking oranges. Real what? Mangroves. Yep. And. Liquor. All sugars. Real fucking oranges. Real what? Mangroves. Yep. And real fucking peach. There's a half a peach in that fucking thing.

There's not a half a peach in that fucking thing. It's peach fucking pop, man. It's like a soda. Anyway. It's healthy, Julian. Well, look, he's got the chips in front of him, man. Like, are you kidding me? Like, that's not a health kick, bud.

What are these made of, Julian? They're made of potatoes, but they're also deep fried. Potatoes aren't healthy these days, or...? Not those kind of fucking potatoes, man. Ricky, they're not just potatoes. They're deep fried in fucking fat and oil. Okay, so there's some shitty shit put on top, but there's some good shit underneath the shitty shit.

Like, it's still a fucking potato under there. With all the potato things in it. These are 100% shit. There's nothing good about these for you. They're not made out of fucking basil. It's better than eating drywall, isn't it? Some people do that, which I don't care. What the fuck?

What do you mean, eating drywall? I've seen that on that show, My Strange Admissions. My Strange Admissions. Strange Addictions, man. Somebody was eating drywall. Yeah, fucking loved it. And that's fucked. I mean, that's not healthy.

These are at least their fucking potatoes. It doesn't matter how they're cooked. These aren't healthy, man. You've got to... How much drywall were they eating? A lot. How were they eating it? Barry Manilow.

What? How were they eating the drywall? They were just fucking taking it, yanking it off the thing. Did you say Barry Manilow? I don't know. What happened there? Barry Manilow. Was Barry Manilow eating drywall? Where did you fucking come up with that, man?

Where did you hear that? My brain just fucking short-circulated it. What were we talking about? Drywall. Barry. Barry. Fuck. Boys, I gotta go home. No, we haven't even talked about any of the stuff we're about? Drywall. Berry, fuck. Boys, I gotta go home. No, we haven't even talked about any of the stuff we're supposed to talk about. Well, start talking about it then.

What do you want to talk about? Besides, what are you guys going to have for New Year's regulations? Well, I mean, I sort of piggybacking on yours with the healthy stuff, but I do have one official resolution that I made and I am going to stick to it. I'll get your back on this one. What is it?

What is it? Okay, boys, this is, I mean, you guys got to have my back. You got to support me. My resolution for 2016 is to not make resolutions anymore. Get it? Yeah, that's a good one. 2016 is not make resolutions anymore. Get it? Yeah, that's a good one. That sucked.

That fucking sucked. I fucking got you, though. No, no, no. You've got to make up some kind of resolution. That's it. That's it. So you're not going to change fuck all. No, I like that. Is this the way to?

You could make some changes, man. Like what? Maybe. Okay, that's a good start. Yeah. Eat healthy. But I don't know, man. Like what? Maybe, okay, that's a good start. Yeah. Eat healthy. But I don't know, man. There's some things, there's got to be some...

What do you got for New Year's regulation? I'm going to eat better. I'm going to try to, you know, work out and shit. And I'm going to become rich this year. Same fucking regulation. Oh, Julian, that's amazing. I never heard you make that resolution before. You know what?

Okay, before these other years, no. Things haven't gone that well. But this year, I mean, I've got... Revolution? It came for me with this game, man. This game. I've got this game. What the fuck is that? It's from Donnie. Donnie gave me this fucking game. Care... careers... Careers. I mean, it's a game from back in the 70s, right?

But, I mean, there's a lot of good shit in there that you can learn. So I'm going to go back old school, man. I'm going to make money the way people used to. So your whole fucking business plan, business system, is based on a fucking board game in the 70s? It's not based on, well, it's kind of. I mean, there's a lot of good shit in there, man. I'm going to work on a few things. I'll get back to you.

But I'm pretty confident that I'm gonna be rich this year. Wow. Okay. Ricky, you gotta keep these fucking chips away from me, man. Hey, Ricky. You wanna hear something? Fuck, Ricky? I don't know. There was a set of twins born this year. Hold on. Hold on. Is this gonna...

Is this gonna be really hard on my brain? No. Okay. Hit me then. There was a set of twins born on New brain? No. Okay. Hit me then. There was a set of twins born on New Year's Eve. One, like, right before stroke of midnight and one right after.

So they're twins, but they were born in different years. Okay. Hold on a second. New Year's Eve. December 31st, 2015, right before midnight. This woman's fucking water explodes.

She goes to the hospital instead of partying, which sucks for her. Yeah. Baby born. Baby gets born. Say at like, you know, 1158. Okay. Then New Year's happens. Where was she, though?

I guess it doesn't matter. Wherever she was, it's still that time. Yes, it's right at there. Here it might have been. No, no, it's New Year's where she is, Ricky. That's the point. Yep. And then New Year's happens, and then right after that, other baby born.

Twins. Not though. Same mother, right? Yes, Ricky. She had twins. But they wouldn't really be twins, would they? Yes, they would. Because one's a year older than the other, technically.

Right? Holy fuck, Buzz. No, it's only two minutes older than the other one. Why do you get into this shit with him? No, officially it's two minutes, but... No, they're not fucking twins. One's 2015, one's 2016. They're a fucking year apart.

They're not twins. Twins, you have to be born on the same fucking day, same fucking year. That's the definition of twins. That's the definition of twins, is it? It has nothing to do with, you know, biology or anything. All right, well, they also have twin twins and the other twins. Okay, here... Which is...

No, Ricky, no. Here's another scenario. They have the same twins or the ones that are different twins? What the fuck is it called? Jesus. Paternal. One could even be a boy and a girl. Paternal twins.

Paternal. Okay, were they a boy and a girl. Paternal twins. Paternal. Okay, were they paternal or were they the same? They were identical, I believe. Identical twins. But, see, they're not. Okay, check this out. Different scenario. Same fucking topic.

Riddle me this, because I know how it works with school, because when kids go to school, they base it on the fucking year. So you're telling me those two fucking kids two minutes apart are going to go to... One's going to be in grade one and one's going to be in primary. Because that's what would fucking happen. That's fucked, boys. No, this is even more fucked. Try to wrap your head around this, Ricky. Chick's in a fucking ambulance on her way to a fucking hospital, right?

Yeah. She's having a baby. Right. Twins. One pops out. The ambulance keeps flying fucking down the road, gets into a different time zone that goes back an hour. The other one's born. So the one that came out second is actually born before the one.

And they cross the state line. And they cross the state line. So they both came from different fucking... Different time zones. And different places. However they would be then, they would be fucking twins because she would have went into the time zone, which was an hour behind, so they would have at least been born the same fucking day, same year, twins.

Now they're not. She fucked it up. She should have went to a place where she's like, okay, there's a chance these fucking things are going to be born close to midnight, so I need to be on a border, time zone border, just in case that happens. Jesus Christ. That's what she should have did.

I'm sure that's the fucking first thing on her mind. Get me to a fucking time zone border. You should write her a letter, man. Or my twins won't be twins. That's what a smart mother would have did. Now she fucked it up and her kid's going to be one in two different grades. Fuck.

Reminds me of the fucking old cocksucker. He's got a, I mean the other guy gets an extra year to fucking party before he goes to school. He's fucked. However, the times on board, it wouldn't be fucked because one would be born in one place. See, there wouldn't be twins still. Because one could be born in fucking Toronto, and one could be born in Halifax. How? Same day, same year, but...

But how would you cover that distance in a couple of minutes? You'd need a fast fucking plane or something like that. She should've, yeah, if she was on a plane, she could've pulled it off. On a plane? Twin plane. A twin plane. Wow. It's good business for somebody with a lot of money.

Wanna make sure your twins are fucking born the same day, same year? Twin plane. Twin otter. All right, thinking about, you know, we're on the topic of babies here. Condoms were originally made of animal intestines or linen. Think about that. That would have sucked. Yeah, I've heard of that.

Lamb socks, wasn't there? Lamb? Intestines, man. What was made of that. Lamb socks, wasn't there? Lamb? Intestines, man. What was made of that? Condoms. So if you're like, you know, back in the day, you want to do some banging, but you don't want to knock up your wife or your girlfriend or whatever, you have to go outside, fucking slaughter a pig, rip out the intestines,

put a knot on the end of it, put it on your fucking package, your unit, and bang. That's what you had to do when you wanted to bang back then, not have kids. Well, I guess it would be worth it, but you could have just used the sandwich bag. They didn't have sandwich bags back then. It saved a lot of fucking work. Have you ever used a sandwich bag, Ricky? No comment.

He has. I knew it. Yes, he has used sandwich bags. Remember, we found him that time when he was passed out with a sandwich bag on his wiener. Well, it's better than having fucking 40 kids running around, isn't it, boys? But, Ricky, he's talking about back in the olden days. Like, there was no sandwich bags. There's nothing.

So back then you said to hold your sandwich in your hand all fucking day and walk around with it? Jesus Christ, Ricky. You didn't eat sandwiches back then, Ricky. He's talking about what year? I don't know, man. It's way back. Say it's the fucking 1500s. People weren't walking around with sandwiches.

They had turkey legs and things back then. Well, still, I mean, okay. How the fuck am I not going to have a kid? I don't know. I'll go kill my fucking, what was it you killed? A pig or any animal, man. I'm going to go up there and kill my fucking pet pig, gut him, and make a fucking dome out of his intestines?

That's fucked. I would never have thought of that. I would have come up with something way easier. Like what? You're way back. There's, like, nothing. They can't make anything back then. It's not as if they're fucking pumping out bags.

Well, I could have went to a lake, got some mud clay, threw that on there, let it harden so that it's airtight, bang away. Probably even reuse it. The girl wouldn't mind you

banging her with a dirty old mud dick. Is that what you're saying? Well, that's fucked, Ricky. And what would mud do to it, man?

Ricky, if you built a fucking mud hut for your wiener that was hardened, I mean, what's the point of banging then? You're not going to feel anything. You're going to be banging the clay thing. Well, there must be a point before it gets completely hard where it's still going to keep everything inside of it. Jesus Christ. No, I mean, it'd be easier to bang the fucking mud flat there.

Just get down the rim or end so it's banged. That's what I mean. You would end up just banging the mud thing you built. Why would you even...

Well, that was the first thing that came to me. That would not work. I'm sure there's lots of other things better than fucking killing your pet pig and ripping out his intestines

and smearing those all over your car. I'd like to hear what else you might come up with. I'll come up with a few things and I'll get back to you on that. What else do you want to talk about in this thing? Anything?

Besides intestine cocks? I don't know, man. I don't know. I'm just, I'm thinking it might be time to go mix up some more drinks. Oh, really? Some more tequila. It's lettuce tequila. What, is it time to fucking end this or what? Buzz more tequila. It's lettuce tequila. What is this?

Is it time to fucking end this or what? Buzz, it's not time to end this stuff. No? Oh, what time is it? Do we have... All right, point back at the fridge for a sec. Both of you. What?

What? Just point at the fucking fridge. I want to know what I'm getting out of this. Just fucking point at the fridge, will you? What is this doing for us? Just point at... See? Man, I'm telling you, there better not be some fucking under-the-table deals going on here.

He's making something off this. Yeah. All right, you guys know that there's 200 frozen fucking corpses on Mount Everest. Did you know that? Do you want to talk about shit? That's something else. I've got something to talk about. Look at this.

200 frozen corpses? Yeah, man. Like, they're still, they're not going to take them home with them. Ice men and ice women? Yes. Okay. 200 dead people up there. And the hikers

used them as waypoints. Oh, yeah. Instead of using, like, a flag to say, here you are, it's just like, Dougie Flynn. No, like, if you get the,

you know, you get the guide and stuff, it'd be like, you know, go up, you know, 500 feet, take a right at fucking Dougie. He's missing his arm and his fucking jaw. So they've never had proper burials?

Well, they did up on the fucking mountain. They're not going to hump them back down. I guess at least they died for a reason. Why don't they just throw them, toss them off the mountain? GPS. Just keep tossing them until they reach the bottom of it. What did you say? You used them as GPS. Well, if that's what they're saying now,

I'd go up to fucking Dougie, hook her right up to Terry. Yeah, it's kind of like GPS, I guess, but not really. It's not anything like GPS. What are you talking about? It's more like a map. A map, yeah. It's more like a map. It's got nothing to do with GPS, Global Positioning System. Well, I guess frozen body map, yeah. It's more like a map. It's got nothing to do with GPS, Global Positioning System.

Well, I guess frozen body map, then. Is there enough of them that you could actually get to the top if you follow them? I'd say there's enough people, yeah. There's enough dead people on there to give you a picture. Well, it depends on where they are, Julian. Obviously, probably not when you think about it, because in the final stretch you're not going to have, you know, oh, fuck, he's only 20 feet from the top.

He didn't make her. And Poisson would have to actually die to frozen at the top, because you're going to have to get there eventually. That's what I mean. So it depends on where they are. There could be 200 all scattered down low, you know. They might have slid down in the thaw or whatever. So it should make it into where it ought to go.

Frozen ice. Well, yeah, you'd think that maybe this isn't a good idea. This guy's dead and I'm here at this point and I'm going to go up to the next dead person. Like, at some point you must, you'd have to say, holy fuck, I'm going to die. We fucked up. Yeah. This is where Michael fucking froze. He's right under us right now.

What the fuck are we doing on this mountain? Yeah, they probably should use it as a not map. A do not map. No more fucking chips on the table, Ricky. Okay. When we do these goddamn things. I'll put out healthier shit for the next one, I promise. Hey, I'm not talking mango fucking pop.

Do you want to hear one of my facts? Bring it on, man. Listen to this, Ricky. When Twister was introduced in 1966, it was denounced by critics as sex in a box. I thought you might get it. Oh, fuck. I thought you meant Twisted Sister for a second. I can kind of combine those words.

Oh, Twister. Oh, Twister, the game. They said it was for sex? No, they called it Sex in a Box. I thought you'd find that funny. No shit! No shit. I know, man.

What the fuck do you think it's for? Every time he plays Twister, he ends up banging. No, but when you're young and, you know, you're trying to... Young, you still play it, man. No, I know, but when you're young, that's what it's for. It's for kids trying to get the banging going, getting in all fucked up positions. Then you get a boner

and you want to stick in things. So do you get a boner every time you play Twister? Not so much anymore, but back in the day, man, that was... Why not now? Well, I used to play Twister with you all the time. I was a wreck. Well, I'm not saying I'm getting boners because of you,

but if we were playing with some girls, which we did a lot, I probably or may not have... I know, I remember. Buzz, why do you think I always bailed out early, man? You were, like, determined to finish it. I am. You don't know how many times his erect penis touched you, man, for, like, a long time.

That's not true. Rubbing up against you. A couple times, maybe, but it didn't happen that often. No, man, every fucking time. No, I usually made sure I twisted myself close to a girl. Corey Jacob, same thing with that. Do not play Twister with Ricky.

The fact that people didn't think Twister was for sex, I mean, that's dumb. Hey, you want to hear a real,

real crazy one, Ricky? No, man. Barry Manilow. Why do I keep having Barry Manilow's name on my mind? Why does he? Did you do something the other night? I don't know. They must have been fucked out of your mind.

I know Lucy loves him. It must be something. I don't know. You said you had a sex dream last night. Now you're saying Barry Manilow over and over again. That's not true. You're attracted to Barry Manilow. No. It is, man. If he was a female alien, maybe.

I know a guy named Larry Manilow. How weird is that? That's pretty fucked up. Mary Banilow. Yeah, Mary Banilow, too. Who? Mary Banilow that has the potluck supper down at the church. That's not her name. Mary Manilow. Mary Banelow too. Who? Mary Banelow that has the potluck supper down at the church. That's not her name.

Mary Banelow. No it isn't. It's Manny, Mary... Bannister? Minnie Manilow. What the fuck is her name? Who gives a fuck what her name is? Ricky? That's not lettuce is it? There's a lot of tequila in that and they're... I'm not, you know what? I's a lot of tequila in that. You know what?

I just wanted to see if you could juice weed. Bob, you can't smell weed? Weed is healthy, though. You're juicing weed for him. Not much juice came out of it. Because it was fucking weed. It's fucking good, though, isn't it? I got to go, boys.

I'm going to start having a panic attack. What makes you feel any better is a tiny bit of honey oil in this, and it's wonderful. Are you okay? Yeah. All right, one more thing. Bubs, pinch your elbow. Boys, both of you. As hard as you can.

Ah, fuck. No, it's not supposed to hurt. This is a new thing. The bone? There's no place in your body you can pinch as hard a new thing. It's the bone place in your body You can pinch the bone don't print stuff your elbow the skin You got the skin beneath why I knew that there's no feeling right you'd pinch anywhere else it hurts I know that you didn't know that I never really thought I used to make money at parties talking vice grips to my arms

Remember what this probably would hurt with advice you could rip this right the fuck off, really. Yeah, man. That's cool, Ricky, because it's attached to things that do have nerves, so eventually you're going to feel pain out here. All right, that's kind of cool. Fun little fact.

All right, are we done here? That's what we're in it on. You can fucking pinch yourself. Well, you fucking ended on something else. I got nothing. Boys, I'm starting to freak out. Did they have Gore-Tex back when we were talking about the condoms?

You could have just taken a Gore-Tex jacket, ripped off a fucking part of the sleeve, wrapped that around your wiener instead of gutting your pet pig. Gore-Tex jacket? Ricky, they didn't have fucking sandwich bags. They definitely didn't have fucking Gore-Tex. You kidding me? Did they? Okay. Ricky. You kidding me? Did they? Okay. Ricky.

You gotta... Back in the fucking old west, you'd see fucking cowboys walking around with Gore-Tex jackets on. Well, I guess, I don't know. I would definitely have figured something out better than killing my fucking pet pig and ripping out his guts. That guy was a pussy fucker. Okay, well, you think about it. Next time, we're going to see what you come up with. I've got to finish

my fucking list. You finished your list. Maybe we'll talk about it next time. Revolutions. Resolution, man. Broke. Resolutions.

Resolutions. This is resolutions. Let's just fucking end this. All right, that's it. Thanks for listening. Chacasa. Point. One more time. Stop saying that. One more time. Just one more time. Let's make fucking end this. All right, that's it. Thanks for listening. Chacasa. Point. One more time.

Stop saying that. One more time. Just one more time. Let's make everybody happy. I want to know what the fucking real deal is here. Just point the fridge. Instead of giving me one of these fucking things. Take a haul off it.

Play the flute thing. I'm not talking about the deals. I'm not doing any more of this shit. I'll tell you if you fucking start playing that thing like a flute. Here, I got a flute you can play. Skin flute. Jesus, Bob. All right, puff on it. Thanks, motherfuckers. Cheers, guys. Let's get drunk.