Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 23 - Ricky's Haunted House Of Horrors

Episode Date: October 30, 2023

Vampirate Ricky's done an awesome job declorating his trailer with ghouls, cobwebs and... bacon?! But is it better than Vampire Bubs' corn maze? The Boys also tuck into the meatloaf from Hell, and chat about Pepper X, super-sized seals and the origins of Hallo-ween!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. I think the place looks pretty fucking good, but I can't get Julian to light up. It sucks. I think Ricky looks pretty good. We got bubbles over there. Ricky! Come check out the haunted shed! What the fuck is all this? Well, I thought you said you wanted me to dress up as a vampire and build a haunted house in my trailer. No, I said I was dressing up as a vampire

and build a haunted house. Boys, you're both fucking vampires. This is fucked. This is fucking bullshit. Folks, I thought this is what you said, dress up as a vampire and make a haunted house. I said I'm dressing up as a vampire This is way better than your setup man. This is awesome. Yeah, check it out. Holy fucking the costume is pretty cool Oh I didn't know that. Check that shit out man

This is way better. No, this is betters. This is kind of like the Terminator. He's got all the leather on his shit, right? I'm like the hardcore vampire that kills people. You look like a fucking pirate! I'm a vampire. All right, let's get a tour going here, man. I mean, this is the best vampire costume ever. Yeah, check out my shit, Buffs. Got a fucking dead body in here, a pet cemetery, all kinds of great shit.

All right, let's do it, man. How do you stir here? I mean, mine's good, too. I mean, mine's easily as... Mine's just one little tiny... It's like a closet, man. Mine's easily as good as this. I don't think so, bud. Look at this fucking thing. Whoa! Yeah, that's something else, man. Yeah, but big deal.

Ah! Jesus Christ! What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that, Ricky? That's my jumping spider. That's a jumping spider right on. Oh, man, you're breaking shit. Careful.

What do you mean, I'm breaking shit? Oh, Ricky, what's that? It's whack. You know what? This is the greatest place to be right now on Mushrooms, boys. I can't wait to scare them. Here, you're fucking it all down. I should get the fucking eyeball.

Yeah, I mean, it's pretty good. That's all meat. Ricky. He's got fucking bacon hanging from the ceiling, man. It's a meat. Ricky. He's got fucking bacon hangers from the ceiling, man. It's a meat locker. Spam and fucking meat locker. I could have used plastic shit, man. Where's the off switch on this cocksucker?

He keeps startling me. There we go. Oh, Ricky, what did I step in? There's some stuff you shouldn't be stepping in back there, for sure. I stepped on something that squished me. Yeah, it's a piece of bacon, man. Oh, for fuck's sake, Ricky, why would you put real bacon on the ceiling? This is a fucking nightmare.

I'm all tangled up in it. Fuck! Ricky, you're not supposed to use real netting. I fucked up, Bubs. Now I'm hooked in it. Gross, man. Can you get me out on it? Just suck, boss. I'm tangled up. Fuck you're not tangled up in the bacon. Tangled in my glasses. This is gross man. All right. Ricky it's all over me. How? You can't have kids in here, Ricky. Why? Because they're gonna get, there's

choking hazards and you gotta think safety. You just throw up fucking old rotten bacon and there's an art to this. It's a meat locker. There's an art to making a haunted house and you can't do it like this. I don't know, man. I think it fucking kicks ass, bubs. Man, I made you guys some food. My famous meatloaf from hell and some fucking hell potatoes. Hell potatoes. Hell potatoes. Bob's, you've got a fucking big, long, black hair in your drink, bud.

Oh, that's one of my vampire hairs. That's to make it scarier. You want some food, Bob's? It's a bit curly, bud. I would like some of your hell, meatloaf from hell. I enjoy your meatloaf from hell. See, this is like a fucking head. Ricky, why would you build that?

Take the time to make a light, bright cock. That was me on drugs. Two way out. Oh, yeah. It's not too bad. Light, bright cock. It's a little pumpkin with a cock on top of it. Remember the commercial for it?

Light bright, making cocks with light. Fuck man, I get like spiderweb shit all over me. I know. Me too man, it sucks. Here, I'm gonna put my teeth in, boy. Look at these. Man, I gotta do my fucking mouth, but my hand's full of bacon grease. Ah, stop your fucking whining.

Look at this. I am raccoon. Hey. Hey. So what are you? You're like a banker? I'm a vampire. Oh.

Watch this retractable teeth. Ready? Ready? Look. Oh, I'm not a vampire. Yes, I am. Good work, man. It wasn't that smooth, bud.

Now watch. Now I'm just hanging out here at the bank doing nothing. Hey. You look fucked. These teeth are absolutely fucked. These teeth are driving me nuts. Yeah, these get a lot of... They create a lot of saliva.

All right, man. Did I get a meatloaf? Help yourself, man. I gotta say, Rick, I'm pretty impressed with this fucking... what you put into this, man. Ricky, you offered me meatloaf and hell potatoes. Oh, you want some?

Well, you offered it to me, and then you told me to help my fucking self. Well, fuck, I don't know how much you want. Here, Bubbs, you want some grapes? I want... No. Here, man, sticky grapes. I don't know how much you want. Here, Bubbs, you want some grapes? I want, no. Here, man, sticky grapes. I don't want those. Why?

Julian, those are dirty old fucking, those are probably rotten grapes. I'm guessing you don't want any, Julian, it's too fancy for you. I'll have a Forster cookie. Rick, you're not giving these out to the kids, are you, man? You're fuckin' right. Wet naps.

It's a good idea. Wet naps, we got fuckin man? You're fucking right. What? Wet naps. It's a good idea. Wet naps. We've got fucking... I think that's conditioner. Ricky, you're giving out wet naps? Aw. Breath cleanser. Clean yourselves up

from the rest of this shit. You got a fork for a fella? Four in one. You're high maintenance. Shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, body wash. A four in one? I've never heard of a four in one.

What? Give me that. It's not four in one toothpaste, body wash, a four in one? I've never heard of a four in one. What? Give me that. It's not four in one toothpaste and body wash. You can use it for both. Four in one body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and toothpaste? Where the fuck did you get that? I don't remember. Most store, though. I think that's a, oh, that's a penal treat.

That's from the jail. That's when they don't care. No story there. I think that's a... Penalty. Oh, that's a penal treat. That's from the jail. That's when they don't care if you get poisoned. Wash your pits and brush your teeth with the same... What does your poison say? Your costume looks like shit? No, man. No one knows what he can do until he tries. No one knows but who can do it.

Who gives a fuck? Oh, man, here's a... Yo, Ricky, Rick. These are stale, man. You can't give the kids these. Well, I'm not going to eat them. They're fucking disgusting. At least they can read a fucking book.

No, man. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't. No. Try another one. Maybe that one was just... Maybe it was just one. I'm not...

No, man. That's fucking disgusting. What are you supposed to be anyway? Well, some kind of weird... Yeah, I see you went all out again this year, Julian. Actually, no, I drove up to the costume store. They had this thing on some, like, skeleton dude. On clearance?

Just took it right off. Didn't even have to talk to anybody. Didn't have to go into cashier, nothing. You stole it. Well, I'm bored. I'm going to bring it back. But you know what? It's...

I don't know. What the fuck is it? What am I? Ghoul? No, you look like maybe failed Rocky. Rocky? Oh, yeah. It does look like a Rocky thing, doesn't it?

You look like a druid, but. I'm a druid. But a too muscular druid. How's the meatloaf? It's quite delicious. What was it shaped as, Ricky? He always do a shape. A head, face.

You're eating his cheek. Was it whose face? Just some random dude. You should have showed them before you cut it up. What else did you do, a face and what else? Just another thing, blob. You said you were gonna do a foot, but I don't know. I guess you could call it a foot, I don't know.

Here's a foot. Oh man, right in his meatloaf. Where did you get all this stuff? You stole all this. Look at Matt, he's got tons of fucking limbs and shit. Look at this dude. Huh? It's a beer bong.

It's a beer bong. It's a beer bong. So you do it through his spine. Spine. Okay, well. All right. Is the contest running? The contest is on right now. No, no, no, no.

Yeah, it is. It's not. It's not? Yes, it is. Yeah. It's It's not? Yes, it is. What's the date today? It starts the 27th. Yeah, it's on. It's on, man. What the fuck was that thing?

Should we remind people? Alright, we've got a Halloween contest on right now. Send pictures in or videos of you dressed up. And what do they win? They win a bunch of shit, like fucking a signed autograph or something, some shirts. I don't know.

You had a one-year membership this morning? Yeah. A signed autograph. So is that like an autograph that somebody put a signature onto? From, I don't know, from us, I guess. I don't fucking know. Get rid of this shit, man. I'm done.

Where do they sign up? Trailerparkboys.com? Trailerparkboys.com, Buffs. I don't know, man. I don't have a fucking clue. You tag on the socials. You load up your pictures at trailerparkboys.com. There's also prizes for Best Ricky,

Best Julian, and Best Bubbles. Correct. So you tag us on socials There's also prizes for best Ricky, best Julian, and best Bubbles. Correct. So you tag us on socials or use the hashtag TPBHalloween. Win all kinds of shit. We might even throw in a piece of your meatloaf, eh Ricky? You should throw in some meatloaf. Maybe even a foot.

I'm not sawing my feet. All right, maybe a hand. One of these things. You win that hand, well. That hand that's in the grapes, they get that too, all right? You know what fucking, okay, you know Die Hard, those movies?

Never heard of them. Yeah, sure, Ricky, we've watched it 50 times. Die Hard. Yeah, it was a Halloween movie. You know who almost got that role? He was offered the role, and I don't know, man. It would have changed fucking everything. Christopher Plummer.

Who? Christopher Plummer? No, man. In Die Hard. Die Hard. Sylvester Stallone. No. That would have been awesome.

Han Solo. That would have been awesome as well. Okay, no. Guess who it was? This is fucking, I can't even imagine it but yeah maybe frank sinatra what the fuck old fucking blue eyes no he didn't yeah he did man they offered him the role to it think about it diehard one that was out a long time ago and i think he was pretty old at the time but he was off the roll and he said, fuck. Where did you read that on the onion? No, man.

That's not real. There's no way. It is real. There's no way. I'm telling you, man. I thought somebody else got off the roll, not him. Oh my god, do I have to fucking start doing this every other night? Mm-hmm. Because there's no way.

Well, I figured out how we can go having a really expensive meal even tonight if we want. Wow. This 50-year-old Lithuanian man, he's fucking brilliant. He goes to these fancy restaurants, orders these fancy meals, lobster and shit,

highest-end whiskeys he can get, and then when it comes time to pay, oh, I think I'm having a heart attack good idea collapses on the floor and the restaurant's like fuck we don't want

anybody to find out this guy just had a heart attack after eating here so he leaves in an ambulance and his bill is comped

what about his ambulance fucking bill it's like seven eight hundred bucks I don't think it ever gets to that point so then he ditches the fucking ambulance he hops. I don't think it ever gets to that point.

So then he ditches the fucking ambulance. He hops up and goes. I think he just gets up and goes because he's got to go to the hospital. Pretty fucking smart except now he's arrested.

Whoa. As Die Hard was based on the novel sequel to the detective film, the studio was contractually obligated to offer Frank Sinatra the fucking role,

and he said, look, I'm 70, I ain't doing it. And I'm not an action star. Never been one in my life. That would have been such a weird choice. Frank Sinatra? Yes, he was. He did some action shit, didn't he? Frank Sinatra?

Yeah, man. Man, there must be two of them. Do you know who Frank Sinatra is? I do, man. Okay, here we go. Okay. Frank Sinatra was not an action film star. That's him right there holding a gun like that.

About to fucking shoot something up. That's because he was in the mafia. That was good, Ricky. I like meatloaf. I fucking drilled that meatloaf. You done? Yes, Ricky. I like meatloaf. I fucking drilled that meatloaf. You done? Yes, sir. You should have some meatloaf.

Yeah, you pussy. Put some hair on your tits. I don't want any more hair on my tits, man. Just fucking chillin'. I got a good buzz on. Don't be a dick. Just let me go with it. I'm fucking perfect.

Oh, man, I was gonna tell you. You're the guy that's into the hot peppers, right? Who? You. Eat you? I am Dracul. Dracul? Does Dracul like hot peppers?

He can eat... I can eat anything. Dracula doesn't give a fuck about heat. There's a brand new one out there, and you might want to give a fuck about this one. Why? It's called Pepper X. Whoa.

The creator of the Carolina Reaper pepper. He created this new Pepper X. Ed Curry is his name. Yeah. So the old world record for hottest pepper was 1.64 million Scoville units. Yeah. Which is spicier than pepper spray.

Yeah. His new Pepper X, 2.69ier than pepper spray. Yeah his new pepper X 2.69 million Scoville units Put it in Perception. Yeah. Mm-hmm. How no habanero. Oh No, the jalapeno is only 5,000 Scoville units 5,000 that's nothing man. Habanero is 350,000. This is 2.69 million.

Oh, yeah. That would be hot. Fuck. That would fuck you up, man. I'd love for you to fucking stick one of those in your mouth. And that's just the pepper. Once they grind it up and do it the way, you know, they can get that way up. Because people can eat more than 2.6 million Scoville units.

Really? Yes, boy. I don't think I could. Yes, boy. I'm the Newfoundland Dracula. This would fucking suck. This woman in Atlanta, she went on vacation, came back, and her fucking house was demolished. By what?

It's a demolition crew. They went to the wrong address. Oh, fuck, no way. What a fuck up. That's about it. On the wrong house. Yeah. Right to the ground.

Nothing left of it. Fuck, boys. Completely demolished. You gotta double check the address before you get the fucking raccoon ball fired up. She heard it was happening, so she got some family members to go over. And I guess the contractor's being an asshole. She's like, I want to see the permit. Shows her the permit.

Yeah, wrong address. Wrong fucking place. Stupid cocksuckers. So who has to give her a new house? The company? It's in fucking battle right now. I would say. I would think the guy that brought the wrecking ball would have to give her a new one wouldn't he don't have to do something for her you don't think well i'd say

it's the contractor or whatever it said go tear it down i don't know somebody's just done somebody somebody's really done there well she needs somebody's got to get her a new house, obviously. It's probably not going to happen, man. No, because they're probably dealing with crazy cocksuckers like you. Not like me, man, but there's rules for a reason. If you knock that lady's house down by accident, would you get her a new one or would you talk your way out of it? Where the fuck am I going to get money to build another house?

No. When she pays you for the demolition job. How much do you think those guys get paid man that would maybe she's probably i might build her shed afterwards i feel bad for like a minute maybe we should get super fucked tonight and just hang out i'm doing i'm there with you i will yeah yeah man mushrooms no mushroom buddy why can't we hang out in my I will. Yeah? Yeah, man. Mushrooms? No mushrooms. Let's do it, buddy. Why can't we hang out in my haunted shed? Maybe it's close to being this cool.

It's just a bit small. It's too small, man. It's getting cold. I'd put an extra wing out there. I don't want to be, like, partying on a bunk bed all night, bud. No offense. It's supposed to be cold tonight, too. Yeah, fuck that.

I'd put up a corn maze, for fuck's sakes. I'm actually calling the coach, too, because I'm stressed out there. How do you put up a corn maze? Well, I bought all the corn, and I potted it. I put it in pots, and I mean, it's not very hard to get out of, because you can see right through. Then it's not really a maze. It's just like a corn.

I bought 50 stocks of corn. Walkway. That you can walk through. Pubs. That's just like a I bought 50 stocks of corn that you can walk through. Pubs. If I get fucked up enough, I'll try it later. I will too. I bet you you couldn't get through it. I'm pretty good at mazes.

I should put some tarps around it so you can't see through the other side of the corn. I did a hedge maze somewhere. Maybe that was just a video game. Jesus Christ. You know those motherfuckers that walk around, they got the mobile shrines, they carry them? Nope.

On their shoulders, on the big log thingies, you know what I mean. Sounds fucked. No, it is fucked, but they've been doing this for forever. They just cruise down the street, these dudes. See that dude? No, I've never seen that. They do this once a year anyway. They walk for quite a distance. That's kind of

cool. Those fucking guys, I don't know why. Do you want to see what happens to these motherfuckers? What do you mean what happens to them? Something happens to their bodies? They get calluses on their shoulders after a while. And this is doing it once a year. That does not look normal what the fuck is that those are helps from the fucking that shit on that shoulder that's not

from once a year but i hate to tell you there must be practicing man because that's what it said in this article i think look at that that's like a that's fucked up they need dr pimple popper no that's not even a pimple man it's like skin like skin. I don't know. They rest the things. Look, I've carried things as heavy as those guys, and I don't have a fucking... Bullshit, man. I don't look like that. It's a great honor to have these fucking things on you. I've carried 10 fucking shopping carts on my back at once. You know who's saying it's a great honor?

The guy that has them. This guy. He's like, check that out. I got them all over my neck, my shoulders. Yeah. See, look. That's fucked up. I think it's an implant.

You know how much this guy's getting banged because of those things on his shoulders? A lot. Yeah. Women are loving it. He's probably right. He's carrying a fucking spiritual thing. He's got shoulder tits. He's got shoulder boobs.

Wow. Right on. That's weird, man. Shoulder boobs. What the fuck were you searching to fucking come up with that? It just popped up, man. It just came up. Shoulder tits.

Shoulder tits. Boys, I need to have a fucking... Drink? I'm having a drink. Okay. You need more drugs? Maybe. Edibles?

No, I don't need edibles. Fuck. Maybe Julian does. I got fucking super baked last night. I started reading about animals. And one of the things said, there's certain animals that are way bigger than you think they are.

I'm like, ooh. Not gonna tell you what they are, but. What? The fuck are you going on about? Well, if you don't tell us what they are, Ricky, it's kind of irrelevant. Okay, seals. You think the seals are, like, a cute little animal,

a little bigger than a dog. Oh, baby ones are. They're nasty, man. They can fucking grow up to 19 feet long and weigh more than 8 tons. I didn't know that. That's not fucking... They're big.

That's a big animal. 8 tons? Yeah. Well, it's as long as the biggest Ford F-150 and twice as heavy. Jesus, Murphy, that's a big seal. It's a big seal. I've never seen a seal that big. That's why the Inuit like to, you know, have to have them,

because you get a lot of oil out of them. From the blubber. From the blub. That shit fucking keeps them alive. them. From the blubber. From the blub. That shit fucking keeps them alive. A lot of seal blubber. Yep. Right? Keeps their little...

Then oil from their lamps. I had no idea a seal could get that fucking big. 19 feet. That's a big seal, though, man. That's a big cocksucker. Jellyfish. Yeah, they get to be big. This lion's mane jellyfish can grow up to seven feet wide.

Whoa. The bell or the head, it's called a bell, I guess. Seven fucking feet. Seven feet. That's a big jellyfish. One could, like, fucking crawl on top of that thing and just, like, chill out on it. And its tentacles can trail 120 feet behind it. That's huge, man.

Ooh, you could get tangled up in that cocksucker. You could get tangled up in that, man. That is fucked. If I saw one of those, I'd be like, what in the fuck? But couldn't you, if you had,

he can't hurt you from the top, right? I think you can just jump around the top part of it. Yeah, couldn't you just use him as like a big, you know,

like a beanbag chair? Like an air mattress? Yeah. Just lay on him. I bet she's comfortable as fuck. Take it for a ride, man. No, I mean, put it, if I had one and I killed it,

I could put it in my shed and just have a nice- Killed it. Those things start to smell though, man. He'd be like a nice mattress topper. He'd be good for a bit. You'd want to like throw some water on it every now and then. I want to fucking have a jellyfish and mattress topper. That's going to be my new thing for 2024.

Rabbits. They get to be big. The Flemish giant rabbit can grow up to four feet long. Yeah, man. Weigh 15 pounds. That's like a little fella. Big fucking rabbit. 15?

He'd weigh more than 15. Well, four feet long is what freaked me the fuck out. Yeah, you're stretching the fucking... But if he's four feet long and he weighs 15 pounds right, he's about that big around. He's a little guy. He's a Think it'd be bigger than that, man.

He's a broom rabbit. Maybe he was 150 pounds. It's gotta be 150. It'd be 150, because a 15-pound four-foot rabbit, he'd be like a

broom handle. A rabbit this big is 15 fucking pounds. The Japanese spider crab can grow... 600 feet. Grow to have

12-foot legs. Whoa! Ooh! Ooh, he's a big... His legs are longer than, like, higher than the ceiling. Christ. That's a fucking... Are they good eating? I didn't find out about that. You'd have to put him in about nine pounds

of butter, but fuck, he'd be good. I could eat a nine-foot fucking crab leg. I'd try. Salamanders. The Chinese giant salamander can grow up to six feet long. 110 pounds. Six-foot salamander. Yes.

I didn't know something like that existed. Well, that's like a Komodo dragon. But it's a salamander. The ones you find are a fucking boulder. That would freak me the fuck up, and it makes it sound like a baby crying. Mm-hmm. Because it ate one. I mean, I know we know how big a blue whale is,

but I don't think I knew they were 98 feet long. Holy fuck. Yeah, that's a big boy. Yeah, that's a big fella. You know, when you see a hundred- 98 feet. When you see a hundred-foot yacht, that's as long as the whale. It's fucked.

And did you know they can jump out of the water 300 or 400 feet? Straight up. Shut up. They can. If they get up enough speed- I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. If they get up enough speed, they can go 300 or 400 feet straight up. Fuck, man.

Come on. Come over and come back. That I would love to see. Come over and come back down. I would love to see that. Perfect nose dive, and then they go back down to 7,000 feet. Wouldn't that set off like a tsunami? No, because he goes in like straight, so it's just like a diver. A splashless dive. Yes.

Do you guys remember when movie trailers used to be like after the movie? No. That's why remember when movie trailers used to be like after the movie? No. That's why they're called trailers. They used to run after movies. I don't remember. Why? Don't know, man. They still do that on the airplane, don't they? Cineplex, Odeon? I don't fucking know, man.

Fast forward through the end of the credits and I'll be there waiting for you. No, man. No. Just thought I'd throw that out there, boys. and I'll be there waiting for you. No, man, no. Just thought I'd throw that out there, boys. Trailers used to play at the end of the movies. So that's why it was called a trailer. Trailer.

Trailed it. Wow, I didn't know that. They should have come up with a different word. Because a trailer to me is something you haul behind your truck. But that's what it was, Ricky. It was trailing behind the movie. Ah, gotcha.

They were hauling it along, you know, through the whole movie. It's pulling this other little short movie. Hmm. Trailing it. All right. Okay, man. Do we have any Halloween facts today, boys? What does Halloween even mean?

I got one that's blowing my mind, but I can't figure it out because I'm too fucked. Okay. According to the record holder for tallest waffle stack, Guinness World Records has a 40-page document defining what a waffle is. 40 pages?

Yeah, man. Where are you getting here? What fucking website are you on? I don't know. Mind is blown. You're on some silly website that makes up stuff. Lies. I have no idea what that means. Oh, you're on lies.com.

Look at that. No, it's not. It's lies, man. This is all true shit. There's no way Guinness has a 40-page document defining what a waffle is. No, I'm not buying it. They sure fucking do, just like Frank Sinatra. You said no, but is it?

Yeah. No, only because they were forced to. Yeah. Fuck. According to one study, most dogs reach peak cuteness between six and eight weeks old. That's the cutest. What about cats? What about kids?

Don't fucking know, man. Kids. Some keep getting uglier some get better looking it's a tough what happened to your mother just kept getting uglier ricky what's the big bucket of punch? Oh, you should have some of that. You didn't even offer us any. I forgot about it. You got to try it, at least, man. Here. Well, don't put it in with my existing drink.

There's cups here. Here, here, here, look. What about this one? Get it in a cup for me. Okay, you got to, yeah, we got to do this right. You got to do it right. See, that didn't spill a drop. That, you could pretty much probably light on fire.

Better taste better than those fucking cookies. Wowzers. Booze in it? Oh yeah. Yeah, Ricky. Moonshine. Woo! How about this?

Throw a little grape in there. No, I don't want grapes. I don't like grapes. They're rotten, Julian. They're rotten. You want a little stem? There you go. That was a fucking... I don't want grapes. Just one. I don't like grapes. They're rotten, Julian. They're rotten. You want a little stem? There you go.

That was funny. That's great. All right, you know what, boys? I got to do something. One fucking Halloween fact. No, no, no. Don't put the fucking grapes in my drink, man. One fucking Halloween fact.

Halloween drink for Julian. Come on, man. One Halloween fact. There we go. Halloween fact? I don't fucking know. It's on the same day every year. I've got no facts for Halloween.

I think we've already said them in the past. Okay, I looked some up. Okay. Give one. So it originated. Yes. Halloween originated in Sweden in the 1600s yes there was a in Sweden yes and the 16 you know what I want to do I

want to start a partition to get everyone to sign it the Halloween is always the last Saturday in fucking October. I'm for it. Let's do it. But it's not on the 31st. It doesn't matter. It's always on a Saturday. Who do we talk to?

The government? Who's making these decisions? The Halloween Commission. There's got to be some world leader, I would guess. World Halloween Commission, the WHC. Okay, we want the WHC to maybe... Fuck themselves. Fuck themselves. Fuck themselves.

In the 1600s in Sweden, there was a guy that used to bite people on the neck. Oh, that's a fun little... And suck their blood, okay? All right, I gotta go. I don't give a fuck about it. It blows gargantuan cocks to have Halloween on a Monday or a Tuesday. I know, man. I know, I know.

You don't even want to know how it originated no because you're lying 1600s there was a guy lived in sweden he was biting people okay in sweden sweden doesn't seem to be the buddy kind of place man it was in the 1600s no he bit a guy on the neck and sucked his blood out all of it drained him okay got every fucking drop out of him and then the next day the guy's walking around alive and they're like well that's impossible because you have no blood in you because dougie there fucking drank it all at the pub okay the pub was closing that's the part i left out the pub that was last call dougie's like no well he's been

drinking all night so he's probably got a lot of liquor in his blood so here and he bit him and sucked his blood out and he got a much better buzz on because of all the alcohol in him then he everybody knew that he had no blood in him okay next day he walks into the pub and he's like hey what happened last night i blacked out i don't remember and he's like, hey, what happened last night? I blacked out. I don't remember. And he was totally fine. So they were like, oh, he raised from the dead. So then they were like, let's make a holiday out of it and call it Halloween because they found him in the hallway.

Buzz, you're fucking shitting me. They found him in the hallway of the pub dead all right this is you know what called wean no but his wiener was hanging out of his pants with no blood in it because it had all been sucked out through his knack hole so how a hall crispy bacon they're like he's down here in the hall oh his weans out too so they just shorten that it's halloween all right all right you heard it here first this is the first i've never heard of this story that's the origins in sweden okay sweden it might have been norway now that i think about it they're a little all right we gotta go and get fucked up that sounds a little bit better all right we're gonna go for a

free meal you can pick the restaurant then're going to do a lot of drugs, and we're going to hang out in the haunted living room. On mushrooms. I'm there. All right, happy Halloween, everybody. Happy Halloween, motherfuckers. Happy Halloween. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer,

go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.