Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 24 - S**t People Shouldn't Get Teached

Episode Date: January 14, 2016

How are Ricky's new year's resolutions going? How does science control daylight? Does a giraffe have spots on its wang? Find out the answers to these questions, and more! Episode 24 is brought to you by Jukasa vapor products!  

Okay, I got my shirts and my things, and Julie and I am fucking baked. You're baked? Yeah. Try this. I'm not drinking any more of that shit, man. Are we starting? Yes, Ricky. All right.

We're starting. Podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Number... Podcast. Turlapur Boys podcast. Podcast. Numbers...

What is it, 20-something now? 20, could be 30. Who fucking knows? Who cares? It's the second one of 2016. Is it, though? I know that. Is it?

Well, maybe not, is it? Could be. I'm right out of her. Is it, though? I know that. Is it? Well, maybe not, is it? Could be. I'm right out of her. Don't tell. It's the second one of 2016. Ricky, how's the New Year's resolution going there, bud? You know what? I've stuck to pretty good so far.

I did cheat a bit on Saturday. I was only supposed to have 10 drinks, and I had about 15. And I was only supposed to smoke two joints, and I probably smoked 10. But other than that, I stuck to me. So you're only supposed to have 10 drinks, and I had about 15. And I was only supposed to smoke two joints, and I probably smoked 10. But other than that, I still... You're only supposed to have 10 drinks. You're supposed to keep her down. Well, Saturday's my special day after Friday.

Friday's a half-special night. Just keep her at 15 drinks. And you've been eating, like, totally healthy? Mostly, yes. Well, what's up with this shit then, man? You got chips there. you got bits and bytes. No, no, but these are dressed all over chips, so they're a little healthier.

They got all the fucking things on them. Got some cereal over there, some popcorn, which is healthy. What the fuck's popcorn made of? This is not healthy. Ricky, what is that? It's cereal. Why did you put them in front of me, man? You know how much I fucking love these little marshmallows.

Because you were a bitch and then, oh, you got all this unhealthy fucking snacks. Now you've got fucking cereal, popcorn, I've even got some beef here. What is it? Lucky charms? Lucky charms, man. You know what I fucking... They're delicious. These marshmallows, man.

You know what I never understood about that commercial? You know how it used to be like, I'll make a balloon and fly away. Remember that? I'll make a bridge and run across there. Yeah. Why didn't he just be like, I'll make a fucking 12-gauge and fucking put a hole in you? Because that wouldn't be good for a kid's fucking commercial, bud. These are not the real ones, by the way. They're the...

They're the what? The knock-offs. Ricky, are these from the dollar store? Oh, fuck, boys, they still taste real good. They're fucking ridiculous. Here, give me those things. Don't eat those fucking things. I want them. I want them. They're from the dollar store. Don't eat those fucking things. I want them. I want them.

They're from the dollar store. I don't care, man. Marshmallows are still pretty good. Still enjoying these fucking fruity liquor drinks. How's yours, bubs? Fantastic, Ricky. Fantastic. Tequila, lettuce, and weed. You could put a lot more vodka in them, too.

Or tequila in your case. Man. Tequila, lettuce, and weed. All right, let's do a little toast here, boys. How are you making out with your fucking revolution? I've been doing okay until now, man. You're not retired yet, are you? I've been fucking working out. Eating great, now I'm eating this shit. Still working out?

All right, let's just do a little toast. Thank you, Jocasa, for making this all happen for us. Appreciate that. And guys, point at the sign. Give a thumbs up. Just hold the fuck on here for one second. This is starting to get out of hand. What do you mean?

How many fucking weeks has this been going on now? I still don't even know what the fuck the deal is. Boy, the... And you seem to be ramping it up like we're having to point more. This thing is helping me, I will give you that. Fucking staying off the cigarettes. I'm only... I'm down to fucking two or three a day, which is pretty good for me, except Saturdays when I'm drinking.

Okay, take a puff now. What happened to the little flute thing? They like the flute thing. Play a little song, man. Okay, take a puff now. But I'm doing a little flute thing. I like the flute thing. Play a little song, man. What the fuck about playing a song? Until you tell me what the fuck is going on here, I'm not doing anything else for these people. A lot of paperwork is going on.

Except smoke is a delicious product. A ton of paperwork, a lot of contracts. All I want, let's wear. Well, it's, I brought it here just to shut you guys the fuck up. See, this is what I'm dealing with. Look, look at this shit. Okay, well, tell us what the fuck the deal is. It, I can't do it, unfortunately, because it'm dealing with. Look, look at this shit. Okay, well, tell us what the fuck the deal is.

I can't do it, unfortunately, because it is a private and confidential piece of paper here. You can tell us. It's about us. John Waters. See? And see, it's Dear Julian. John Waters? John Waters, the fucking guy I'm using, man. The lawyer. Your other lawyer's in jail for bribing a judge. Just wait a second. Not John Waters? John Waters, the fucking guy I'm using, man. The lawyer. Your other lawyer's in jail for bribing a judge.

Just wait a second. Not John Waters. John Waters that we went to fucking high school with. Yeah, the same John Waters. He's doing this for free. He's going to be taking a little bit of a cut until we figure out what the fuck's going on. Well, you tell fucking John Waters I want to know what the fuck's happening here. I'm not doing anything else.

I'm not pointing at pages. John Waters was the crookedest son of a whore that I ever met. And he did his time for it, didn't he? And when he was in jail, he did a lot of work. Julian, he ripped me off in high school. Every fucking day he figured out some how to rip me off. Well, why don't you get a hold of him? Maybe we can put this in this fucking contract.

That's who... He's only going to be taking a bit. I've been watching what percentage he's going to be getting. Unbelievable. But, Bob... I want to read the fucking thing. No, you can't read it. Why? It's addressed to me, man.

Well, guess what? It's private and confidential from Jucasa. I'm taking this, and this is all on... This is it for me. Jucasa. Who are they? Who are these people? They're a huge company,

great people that run the fucking thing, and they're gonna be paying us some money eventually. All I know is there's going to be a bank account set up. Waters is on it. I need to be more involved in this. To cost the thing. Because it sounds like you're going to make a bunch of money. Do you have 400 bucks to talk to Waters?

Because you make an appointment with him, it's going to cost you 400 bucks. If you want on this and deal with this from now on, It's all on you, man. You can do it. I know, I know. I don't like fucking dealing with this stuff. You're not gonna reverse psychology me, bud. Alright, I'm done then. No, you're not. That's another try right there. Well, if you guys don't want to do this anymore...

Riddle me this. It's up to you guys. No, see, you're not doing that to me. I'm just saying, I'm having a good time. Gano Twerky. Jocasta's been very good to us. Fuck, I'm having a good time too, because I realized with baby Mo that playing with markers

and papers is a lot of fun. Reminds me of being back in grade one or two again. But I'm just drawing Mo a picture now, just a minute, because I want to make sure it's correct. Riddle me this. Does a Drac's cock have spots on it? What? A drac, when his penis is- What's a drac, Ricky?

Fucking horse with the big neck spotty fucking thing. Dracs. Are you kidding me? Okay, first, let's just, before you move on, let's nip that one in the bud. It's a giraffe, Ricky. With two Fs at the end, not fucking CK. Giraffe.

We're not having a fucking little spell off here, are we? Anyway, I'm sure it's like a horse. When he's not turned on, his penis would be up inside of his body, so he wouldn't have to worry about the spots. But let's suppose in this situation where he does have a herd on him, would there be spots on the shaft or anything like that? Or is it just a...

This is, fuck, I can't believe I'm fucking typing this into a computer. Do you really wanna fucking know? Okay, fuck. Are you googling are there spots on a draft cock? Yes. There is? All right.

No, no, no, I'm looking, I'm actually trying to figure this out. Well, now I got two spots on the fucking thing. Could you turn it into balls? Is there spots? Turn it into balls, Ricky. Is there spots on a giraffe's erect penis? It's not telling me any of this stuff, man.

What did you type into the Googler? We're gonna have to go to the zoo, boys. Does a giraffe's cock have spots on it? Put erect, erect. Erect penis. For fuck's sakes, boys. Yeah, change cock to erect penis. I'm good at Googling. Does a giraffe's erect...

Penis. Penis have... Wait, no, you wrote, does a giraffe's erect penis, which I love to suck, get rid of that first. That's what you fucked up. Fuck it, right there. It does not say that there.

Well, you better find out or you're going to have to go to the zoo and we might have to suck one. So we can get it erect and see if it's not. You're never going to suck it. It's real funny. Or give it a hand to yourself. Ban from the zoo. Ban from the zoo he is. It's not in there.

There's nothing in here. You're going to have to go to the zoo. You're going to have to give a giraffe a little handy and we're going to find out. There is no fucking giraffe around here. Let me going to have to go to the zoo. You're going to have to give a giraffe a little handy, and we're going to find out. There is no fucking giraffe around here, number one. Let me see your picture, Ricky. I was going to give it to Baby Mo, and then I forgot to put this on. I was like, you'll have to put it up in your shed, bubs.

It's a good little... I'm getting good at drawing the pictures of the animals, though. Look at this. Here, look at that. Well, the people, you know what? Only the people at swearingat.com can see this. The other people can only hear me holding up a piece of paper. So for the people that can't see this,

Ricky has illustrated a giraffe with a giant wang. With spots. With spots on it. I'm just guessing on the spots. And he's got a word bubble coming out of his mouth, and the giraffe is saying, Time to fuck! With an exclamation point.

I can't give that to Baby Mo. So, Bubbs, I think that, put that up in your little shed or your workshop. It's a beauty. You're not gonna put that up? I'm totally putting that up. Here, let me sign it. Maybe someday it'll be worth something. It could be.

It could be. Ricky, you should start doing paintings and selling them. I'd like to fuck with some paint. There you go, Ricky. Hey, look at that. That's probably worth 25 cents. It's worth nothing. You know what? If you were fucking smart,

the smart money guy you think you are, you'd auction, we'd auction that off. Well, let's do it. All right, start your bids. You, like, fucking email it to swearinit.com. Well, then I'll keep that. The bid is on. And I'll take the fucking money.

I gave it to you as a gift, Bob. So fuck that. No, I wasn't telling you to do it. I was saying I want it. I'm putting it up in my shed. All right. Thanks, man. Putting it up in my shed.

Well, someone appreciates my fucking artwork. It's already, already. The contest is on, man. All right. Okay. All right. Keep going. Don't wrinkle it. Don't wrinkle it.

Fucking Barry Manilow would want one of those up in his house, wouldn't he? Who? You said Barry Manilow again. Why the fuck would I say that again? I don't know, Ricky. You tell me. He said Barry... Remember last week? He was like, Barry Manilow.

What's up with the Barry Manilow. What's up with the Barry Manilow shit? I don't know. There's a lot of shit going on right now with me and Lucy. I'm ready to fucking blow a cock gasket. But is she attracted to Barry Manilow? Is she getting you to dress up like Barry?

And many fucking others with his nice mane. His nice what? She calls it a mane. Barry Manilow's hair? I guess so. Lucy calls it a mane? Yeah. Jesus. No, how the fuck?

I can't even touch that. Can't even come close. No, he's got beautiful, beautiful hair. I'm sure he's got lots of money to spend on product. I don't. I have to use my own. I don't think it's the product, Ricky. I think Barry Manilow just has beautiful hair.

Well. He was just born with it. Well, I'm a little jealous of Lucy's fucking, I don't know. You know what, boys? I think Lucy wants to have another fucking baby. No, man. I'm serious. Don't make that happen.

Well, no kidding. I don't even know, like, can people this old have babies? Yes, people your age can have babies, man. You can fucking have babies. You can make the babies yourself. I know, I can fucking make babies. Write them to your, like, 80 or something. I'm not worried about that.

Like, is Lucy, can she still have a baby? Oh, she's getting, she's a little old and haggard. What if it came out and she could still get her dogs or something? Broke her hips or something. If you what? Well, she's, her bones probably aren't as strong as these people. My baby might pop out and crush her hips into dust. Ricky.

Ricky, they, science is much more advanced than that. Jesus, man, she's not 80. Did you guys want some steak? Even if she was, her fucking hips wouldn't turn to dust. No, they wouldn't turn to dust, but it could get fucked over quickly. Christmas steak? No, again, that shit's not good for you, man. Steak?

Yeah, I barbecue this at Christmas, and then I put it in the freezer, and now it's dried out. That's beef jerky, Ricky. Same idea. Just homemade. It's pretty jerky, Ricky. Same idea. Just homemade. It's pretty good, too. Yeah. Well, I don't really want to have another kid, so I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to do, boys. Well, go get a pig, fucking butcher it, rip the intestines out, put some of it on your cock, do some banging. Oh, yeah, you were going to come up with some new ways, some new birth control methods, remember? Well, actually, we were talking about the twins there the other day, and it was fucking... really got me interested.

I went home, had this fucking argument with Lucy about the twins and how they're not really fucking twins, and she got on the fucking interweb world fucking thing, and she found this other one that's even more fucked. Two other fucking twins were born during, do you guys know what daylight savings time is? Yeah. Because I didn't, I know now,

but you guys know what that is? Yes, Ricky. Yeah, spring ahead, fall back. What? Spring ahead, fall back. In the spring, it goes ahead an hour. In the fall, it goes back an hour. In the fall, it goes back an hour. Just wait, Ricky.

What do you understand daylight saving's time to be? That's what I didn't understand. I mean, I guess what it means is they're gonna get rid of an hour, so it saves on the daylight, so you're not wasting as much of the sun. And then you save that up, and then you get more sun for the summers, which is cool, I guess, because it's hotter then.

But I think it'd be cool to got more sun for the summers. Which is cool, I guess, because it's hotter then. But I think it'd be cool to have more sun all year. How do you think they get rid of that hour though, Ricky? I don't know, science, I guess. It is pretty neat they can fucking do that shit. They control the fucking daylight. But this kid. But they've got a big machine to control it?

I don't know what the fuck they use to do it. It's just impressive they can fucking control how many fucking hours of Sun you get You know how they do it Ricky. No math It's all math, bud. Really? Yeah just calculation Anyway, now you guys know what it is. You know how? At a certain time all of a sudden it's an hour earlier. Yeah, well this fucking these twins are being born at a certain time, all of a sudden, it's an hour earlier. Yeah. While these twins are being born, at that certain hour, one of them fucking plops out.

The other one's a little bit behind, so he plops out after the fucking hour goes back. So actually, he's born before the first one was born. Holy fuck, so he's an hour older than the guy that... It's a head fuck. It's a head fuck. It took me about three hours to finally figure it out. Did you get it? Did you figure it out?

Well, at first it's like, okay, makes sense, but then you're like, okay, and it's not. Because he was born second, so he can't be younger. Yeah, see what I mean? Now I'm second-guessing myself again. What are you second-guessing, though? I don't understand. Well, there's no fucking way he can be younger if he came out second. It's fucked.

Is it, though? Think about it, man. Or is it science, Ricky? You know what, boys? My head's gonna fucking explode. We gotta talk about something else quickly. I'm done. Okay, here, I got a fact here. I want it to run by you. All right. Just some light reading.

Nothing to really fuck with your mind. Boys, now that I'm not smoking as much and drinking as much, I feel good. I'm gonna be able to answer anything. Nothing to fuck with your mind, Ricky. Just some light reading. Let's do it. Do it, do it. This is a fact.

There are more life forms living on your skin than there are people on the planet. Fuck off. This is a fact. There are more life forms living on your skin than there are people on the planet. Fuck off. What the fuck are you talking about? Impossible. Try that one on for size. Even if it was ants, not possible?

There's more life forms living on your skin than there are people on the planet. Okay. How many people on the planet? Seven billion, something like that? Something like that? Something like that. There's not seven billion.

Yeah, there is, man. Yeah? People. On the planet. The whole planet. That's everything, animals, everything, right? No, people. No, people, Ricky, humans, like us.

Okay, maybe, I'll just, whatever. But let's suppose you have an ant, a mosquito, a squirrel. That's pretty big. I mean, you know, see what I'm saying? It's going to fill up pretty fucking quick, boys. No, Ricky, they're talking about... They're microscopic fucking insects and shit, man. Read it again.

There are more life forms... Life forms. Right. That's fucking things that are alive. Yeah. Microorganisms are alive. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Micro-organisms are alive. They're just micro. But it's not... It can't be alive if you can't even see the fucking thing.

They're alive, man. So they have eyes and ears and stomachs and legs and feet. You wouldn't believe what these fucking... Some of them, yeah. These things look like fucking monsters, man. There's little... Oh, Ricky, you wouldn't believe it. There's fucking violets. yeah. These things look like fucking monsters, man. There's little... Oh, Ricky, you wouldn't believe it. There's fucking violets.

We ought to get a fucking electron microscope fired up someday. We should, man. Let Ricky look at things on his skin. Here's a perfect fucking example of shit you should never be fucking teached. Who gives a fuck? I'm not fucking creeped out now.

You're seeing there's seven billion shit things living on my skin, feeding off me. Fucking, I don't know. I don't like that. I'd rather not fucking have known about that. It's that shit people shouldn't get teached. All right, check this out, Ricky.

You're filling up your brain with beastly shit. So just fucking eliminate all forms of microbiology from the planet right now, please. That would be Ricky's school right there. Eliminate any type of research with a microscope. You'd be a lot happier. Because right now I'm sitting here going, you little fuck faces. Look at you, seven billion, you're fucking eating me. Licking me and shitting and pissing all over me.

Fuckers. There's nothing you can do about it, man. Right. So I'd rather not know about it. But Ricky, it shouldn't bother you. You didn't know your whole life. Nothing's gonna change. Well, thanks for ruining my fucking Friday, bubs.

All right, check this out, boys. Ricky would just eliminate all forms of microscopic research. How many mosquitoes do you think it would take to totally drain the human body of blood? To totally what? How many mosquitoes? To what? This'll freak of blood. To totally what? How many mosquitoes? To what? This'll freak you out.

To suck you dry. To suck you dry. Oh. Not suck you off. I like the sounds of that. Suck you dry like a bug. No Ricky. Well I mean not for mosquitoes but.

I don't mean give you a fucking mouth hug Ricky. I'm sorry, when you said it, it just caught me off guard. Because, you know, if a woman said that, I'd be like, whoa. I'd be pretty turned on. How many do you think? To suck, well, not suck, to suck all the blood out of your... To suck all the blood. You know how they land on you, you can see them fill up with blood?

How many of those motherfuckers would it take? Just let me do some fucking math here. I'm glad he's got the pen out, man. This is good. Fuck, it has to be. I can't see this at all. I'm Ricky. Jesus Christ.

That's hard. Doing the calculation on paper. What size mosquito would it be? Just a fucking mosquito, man. They're all about, they're not normal size. Ricky, it's just like guessing the fucking number of beans in a jar. I'm going to have to say 800.

800. No, you know what? It's more than that. 1,800. 1,800. 1,800 mosquitoes could suck you dry. Fuck, that's a lot of mosquitoes. Is it less?

A lot more. A lot more? Ricky, I'm thinking in the range of 750,000 to a million. Fuck off. Really? Ricky, to suck you dry? Like, I mean. You've got a lot of blood in you.

How many pints of blood? Six fucking liters in there. Six liters? That's a lot of blood, man. So you divide up six liters into little pouches that big. That big, tiny little pouches. Man. Think about it.

I guess it'd be more than 1,800. Just picture, if you laid out a pan. It's a trick question, though. Like, who are we talking about? Like, someone my size? The average size. Like, if you're talking about someone like Randy, it'd be probably 10 times the average.

They wouldn't be able to suck him dry anyway. They couldn't get through the fat. That's true. Yeah. But the answer is... They need a long beaker on them. What is the answer? 1.2 million.

Fucking seriously. See? Bubbles fucking right in the range. Bubbles is right in the range. Looks pretty good, man. I'd like to see a picture. That's all it wants too, Ricky. That's not, you know, one at a time.

It's hard to calculate. They know how much blood goes into a mosquito beaker. It's all math, Ricky. It's math. Something you don't know a lot about. How much blood goes into a mosquito beaker. It's all math, Ricky. It's math. Something you don't know a lot about. How much blood goes into what? Well, a mosquito's beaker. And then it... so you just multiply that by how much? Six liters.

I guess you could find a calculator. I could have figured that out. What's a beaker, Ricky? It's a little fucking needle thing that goes in and has like a chamber. You think that's called a beaker? What's it called? I don't fucking know. That's what I would call it. It's a stinger, isn't it? It's a sucker.

It doesn't sting, yeah. It's like, I don't know what the fuck it is, man. It's a bite suck. It's like a long fucking mouth with lips on it probably and teeth. I don't know, boys. I don't know a lot about mosquitoes, but it's not a beak. It's not a bite sock.

A bite sock? That's what he wanted to call it. Jesus. That'll be funny on a picture. What's the bite sock? Do they have a Skol-X? Yeah. I hate Skollex.

They too have one of those. I caught one once. Deep in the ocean. You caught what? A Skollex. One of those fucking weird fish. No. You've never fucking fished in the ocean, man. What are you talking about?

Yes, I did. My dad used to take me fishing all the time. What, a busy lake? That's a lake. It's not a fucking ocean. He used to go fucking unload the container ships. One time we got stuck on one. We were gone for two weeks. We did a lot of fishing.

He unloaded a fucking five-ton truck at the fucking Basha Pizza on the pond out there. That's not the ocean. And it's not fucking a container ship, Ricky. Jesus. Jesus. Wow. That really changes some of my memories. Ricky, when you were on the ocean,

could you see land on both sides? Definitely could on two sides, but it was pretty foggy, so. It was deep out in the ocean. Jesus, Ricky. I'm watching you catch. What was the fish you caught? Some weird-looking spook. Like a carton of milk.

But it had spines and shit on it. Different colors. Ray was fucked, Ricky, okay? I agree. There's a lot of shit he taught you growing up. He was a good fucking dad, though. That just did not make any sense. Well, he made me who I fucking am today.

Exactly. Ricky, what the fuck is in my juice? I don't know. Man, these are really fucking coming aboard me. I know what they got. I've had probably 300 fucking marshmallows now. So you were fishing in a fucking lake. Charms.

When you thought you were on the ocean, you cast out your rod and you caught a Skollex, which looked like a fucking milk container with spines on it. Yeah. Didn't taste too fucking good either. And you ate it. Jesus Christ.

You know why it looked like a milk container, Ricky? Why? Because that's what you fucking caught, bud. That's what it was. You know what, I thought it was because inside it seemed like just hardened. Did you and Ray fucking barbecue a milk container? Well, we cut it open, but inside it was like jello,

but it looked like hardened milk almost. That's why I said milk containers, it reminded me of milk. Well, fuck knows what crawled into that goddamn thing and probably got trapped and died. It was fucking gross. Turned into fucking jelly. So Ray basically filleted a fucking milk container.

It had some jelly shit in it. I guess. That's what you guys are telling me. He told me we were in the ocean, and I believed it. Was it like tadpole jelly that was inside of it? I don't fucking know. That's what it sounds like. Boys, I've got to stop talking about this now.

I'm going to get sick. My childhood's all getting erased here. It's probably a good thing, man. Boys, I gotta stop talking about this now. I'm gonna get sick. My childhood's all getting erased here. It's probably a good thing, man. Here, you wanna hear? Please make it something easy that's not gonna hurt my brain. Oh, this is interesting. Listen to this one. O.J. Simpson was originally cast to play Terminator,

but the studio was afraid that no one would buy him as a remorseless killer. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking serious? I thought he was too nice to be the Terminator, basically. Nobody would accept him as a remorseless killer. It's pretty iconic. Because he is a fucking killer.

Did he say iconic? Iconic, yeah. Don't talk about it. Here's a good one. Wait. Here's a good one. Oh, my God. Okay, wrap your head around this, Ricky.

I will. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw pictures with the other at the same time. Leo DiCaprio. The actor? No, Ricky. Da Vinci. Leonardo Da Vinci. Okay.

Do you know who that is? No. What is he? What does he do? Well, it doesn't matter who he was, Ricky. He's a famous, very famous artist, architect, fucking inventor. He did all that stuff. Mm-hmm.

Da Vinci. Okay. Well, man, he could draw with one hand. He could write a letter with this hand. Mona Lisa, right? He's starting to... He's starting to get it. I know he is. Right? He's starting to, he's starting to get it. I know he is. But look, Ricky, imagine this.

You're writing a letter with this hand. Yep, okay, I'm doing it. You got another pen there? Yep, in case this one goes soft or dry. Like your cock. Cock, cock, cock. Good one, buddy. Okay, so you can, he's writing?

Yeah, so you write a note to me there. Okay. And then draw a picture over here. Okay. Well, that's not as easy as you think it would be. At the same time, though, Ricky. See, I was trying to draw you and write your name at the same time, but that is fucking hard.

It's pretty good, actually. That's not that hard. It looks like shit. What were you...double? What the fuck is that? Bubbles. It's supposed to say bubbles, not supposed to be bubbles, but... Okay, you know what, it's pretty hard.

You think that's pretty good? If you practice it a little bit, Okay, you know what, it's pretty hard. You think that's pretty good? If you practice it a little bit, I bet you can fucking pull it off. I'm not saying it's not cool, and that's pretty good. We gotta auction this off to Ricky. Why don't you sign that? Just sign that up there, bud. For what?

Just sign your name to it. What's the 1800... Oh, that was for the fucking mosquitoes. Okay. Okay, we got a... Beautiful. Maybe can you put thank you, Jocasta, at the bottom of that? I put... Show it up...

Double-lib. Yeah, I fucked that one up bad. And I don't know what that is either. Just put Jocasta down there. Alright. You know what? He's fucking... He's got some talent.

See that guy? Yeah. Leo DiCaprio and Erdo. No, it's different. It's not the actor, Ricky, for fuck's sakes. And his name's not, doesn't matter, I suppose. Well, you guys should fucking try. It's not fucking easy. I wouldn't even attempt it, Ricky,

because I know I can't operate the left and right sides of my brain opposite like that. What do you mean left and right? The left and right hemispheres of your brain, Ricky. That's what it is. You know what? That's how he does it. Because when I'm doing it, like I'm looking at this, I'm not really doing it at the same time. I'm kind of looking at this, I'm looking it, like I'm looking at this. I'm not really doing it at the same time.

I'm kind of looking at this, I'm looking over here. I'm looking at this, looking over here. Instead of having a front and a back brain, he's got two fucking brains. That's how he does it. So the front brain's probably over here. Ricky. Back brain's like, okay.

Okay, just wait. Just put the fucking brains on first of all. And then we're just going, and it's at the exact same time, front and back. Lucky fuck, that'd be cool. He doesn't have two different brains, man. He does. Just wait a second. You said front and back brain.

Uh, yeah. You ever seen a picture of a brain, Bob? It's split right down the fucking middle. Yeah, this way, Ricky, lengthways. This is the way your head points, your brain. So you got a left and a right, not a front and a back. Not the picture I saw. The picture I saw had one here and one here.

I guess maybe the head was turned this way. I don't know. There's a fucking front and a back in the picture I looked at. No, Ricky, look, if your head's turned this way, you got the right here and the left over here. It doesn't change when your brain's not in there on a fucking gimbal spinning around. Well, you know what? That's fucking bullshit because when I saw it, it looked

like this. Oh my fuck. I can't believe this conversation. No bugs. And it was facing this way, right? Yeah. So put the nose on the part that's in the front. When you're looking at that, that's not left and right. That's fucking back, front. Where's the nose at, Ricky? Your nose would be down this way. Right. So now rethinking. For fuck's... I was wondering, because it's looking like a... Fuck's sakes. Rethink it now, looking over the nose.

They should have made the fucking picture like that, though. Like a set of tits. Then you know. Fuck's... So this whole time I was thinking, for fuck's sakes. So you think Da Vinci had two brains? Yep, he did. Holy fuck, maybe he did. He didn't have two brains, boss. I bet.

I mean, but, I just mean, I don't mean two separate ones, but obviously he could operate them independently of each other, because... There was just, I bet there was a little, he had a wall put up. So instead a little... He had a wall put up. So instead of shit... He had a wall put up, he put a wall in there. There was a wall up that blocked them,

so they could work on their own something. Who would have put the fucking wall in his brain, Ricky? Who would have put the fucking... Everyone's born differently. He could have had a bridge. Everybody's born the fucking same. There's no way he put a fucking wall separating his brain.

That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life, man. You're dumb. No, you're fucking dumb. And so is your fucking cereal's dumb. I know you. The next time, why don't you come to me and I'll fucking throw it at you. Prepare it with vegetable snacks or something, man. What are you starting a cereal fight for? Because he's got this shit in front of me, man.

I'm trying to fucking do good. Oh, fuck you. You set it over there. I can't believe you just threw my fucking cereal around, man. Guess what? Oh, you got one of my drink. Next time, you can fucking bring the little snacks in. See how fucking healthy you are.

I will bring the fucking snacks next time. Why don't you bring some fucking weights and some dumbbells, too? We'll all just sit here and work out and eat. Pick some milk. Want some popcorn? Healthy. Have all that if you want, man. What's popcorn made out of?

Oh, man, spill my fucking drink. Oh, you want to spill your mango juice? Fuck, Jesus. Where are you going? Fuck off. I'm done. I'm a fucking pest. I'm about to do another fucking podcast.

Fuck this. I hope you enjoy them, because that's it for me. Fuck this. Hope you enjoy them, because that's it for me. Fuck this.