Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 25 - Greasy Googling

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

On today's wired Park After Dark - Cat TV with Bubbles, Julian's greasy Google searches, and the most f**ked news of the week! Also: Did Julian help create the world's most jacked potato?

boys i don't have a fucking knob i'm wide awake man all right Derek welcome yes let's get it going well i'm glad for today you've got a lot of energy because i've got zero well i'm sort of just not a hero i am zero i'm sort of right ruined the whole thing. I'm not a hero. I am zero. I'm sort of right in the middle. I could get fired up and start pounding the table. You stand over here and just go. I mean, I could pound the table. Get some juice. You know what?

I'm going to have a ding dong. That's going to get me fucking fired up. Milk gum. Who's ding dong? Mine or Ricky's? You go first, Ricky. Make some room in there for me. Make some room in there for what?

My ding dong. No, man. What, you want me to ream him up? Woo! Okay, all right. This is going to be a good one. Ding dong. Ding dong. All right, ding dong good one. Ding dong! Ding dong.

Alright, ding dong's in. Ding dong's in. What do we got for everybody today, people? Nothing. I fucking... Ding dong! Alright. I heard of something that really fucked today.

Oh yeah? And maybe it's true, maybe it's not true. But there's more dead bodies, more dead people have been like fucking... Their bodies have been thrown in the ocean, or they died in the ocean, than all the cemeteries on the fucking face of this planet. What? There's more people in the ocean than there is in the ground. I don't believe that.

It's true, man. How? Oh, people, they fucking. How do they end up in the ocean? Tsunamis, fucking hurricanth suckers. People get whacked, boats going down. Yeah, but people... A lot, man. I think that fucking

hurricane in the Bahamas, wasn't there like 3,500 people got washed up to sea or something? But I mean, there's millions of people that are buried, but I'm telling you, man. That's what I mean. Yeah, I don't know about it. Every cemetery in the fucking world. The ocean is made up of dead people. Not buying it. Well, that's... what about the Titanic?

Didn't they find most of that? Hard to believe. Do I have to get on the Google? You might have to confirm that for me. I think you read it wrong. This is what this is all about. I throw some things, you guys say I'm full of shit, and I fucking prove you wrong.

Check Snopes or Slopes or whatever the fuck it's called. Snopes? Yes, Snopes. Snopes, huh? Snopes or slopes or whatever the fuck it's called. Snopes? Yes, Snopes. Snopes, huh? Snopes.com. They fucking... They confirm or deny. Okay.

You guys continue on. Just let me fucking get this going. Did you hear about the potato in New Zealand named Doug? Yes. Doug the potato. Yeah. I never heard of that, Ricky. I'm just teasing you.

No. Who's Doug the potato? Well, they call him Doug because they dug him up. But he's 17 pounds. One potato. Woo! Your old record, world record. That's a big...

11 pounds. Six pounds bigger. How big's a 17-pound potato? It's fucking... Well, you think of a five-pound bag of potatoes, it's three of those. Jesus. How big was this potato? 17 pounds.

It's a big potato. 17-pound potato. I wonder if it tastes good. It. That's a big potato. 17 pound potato. I wonder if it would taste good. It would be. It depends on how you prepare it. I think actually the guy's making vodka out of it, so you should be happy about that. It's taken right after you. A 17 pound fucking potato.

I was thinking about the french fries. Imagine having french fries this fucking long. Poutine. You could have a super long poutine. You need to build a fresh... See now, they could just figure out what made that potato grow that big and then if they just did that... I know. They could probably stop world hunger. If you could grow 20 pound potatoes, give everybody one potato, it'll last them a week. Why that guy? Why did Doug get so big? He, well, why does... I guess. What do you say? You pointed at me. I'm not listening. What are you doing? Did you go to New Zealand recently and piss out some protein on the ground?

Piss what? No, no. Muscle juice into the ground? We've been to New Zealand with that. How many years ago was that? Well, maybe Doug's been growing ever since then. I did piss on the ground somewhere in New Zealand. Was it in the GERD? Was it the side of the road in a potato field? Because I think you might have pissed your muscle juice into the dirt.

Seriously. Seriously, yes. Seriously. I can't find anything on Snopes, boys. Seriously. Fuck Snopes. All right. We're just going to move on, but it is true.

Is this my beverage? Yes, Ricky. I poured it. Why the fuck do I have water here? Ricky doesn't drink water. No, I put that there for you last night because you were getting so fucking drunk. Thanks for trying to look after me, but I'm on look after below. Do you remember blacking out

last night and you kept hitting your head and waking up and then you do that and you wake up? That's why it's called blacking out. But you did it about 20, 30 times in a row and I mean this quick. My forehead feels like somebody hit me with a two by four. Well, that's why.

It was just one after another, Ricky. It was like 30 when I started counting, so it was more like 45 times you passed out. You're either going to be happy about this or not happy about this, I don't know. Did you know that dogs are getting their own TV channel? What? Dogs? Yeah, it's called Dog TV. Well, that's stupid. And it's based on studies in animals' physiological and psychological needs, moods, and responses. So it's dog programming for dogs?

Help them feel more stimulated or relaxed. Well, that's a good idea, but there should be cat TV before there's dog TV. You know what we should do? The colors and the audio frequencies and the camera alignment have all been adapted for dogs. See? You need cat TV. Cat TV? I've been talking about doing cat TV for years.

This is a possibility, too. What if you start collecting fucking dogs? Like stray dogs? Then we get a Saperone show. No, I'm not collecting fucking dirty old dogs. We'll get dogs. We'll make them do tricks get them high see what I can do all that with cats not to get them high part but cats

can do better tricks than fucking dogs any day I mean it might be a good idea some dogs when the owners leave them at home they get all fucked up well then now they can watch dog TV I wonder if it's gonna work I wonder if I'd like it if you laid on the floor to watch it i bet you would you know if you got down you know average dog height laid there check it out put a collar on you maybe we will boys i got a new business idea it's pretty brilliant i'm not the one that came up with it no somebody came up with this idea like 1800 year 1800 sometime back then right i figured out over the past year there's been 27 divorces in sunnyvale alone over the year right okay back in the 1800s in ut, this fucking guy set up this vending machine and put divorce papers

in it for $250. Now, since that was back in the fucking 1800s, I think we had a couple zeros. $250. $2,500. Well, we could... I think that's a little too expensive. But I think you can suck people in with the $250.

In a vending machine? Yeah. For divorce papers. Somebody's gonna kick the fucking glass out of it and take all the with a.250. Right. In a vending machine? Yeah, for divorce papers. Somebody's going to kick the fucking glass out of it and take all the divorce papers for free. No, we put bars and shit in the front of it. Bulletproof glass. Or bulletproof glass. Which costs how much? Go to the arena, get plexiglass, double it up.

I don't fucking know. I might get a surveillance camera. So, you know. Sounds like a lot of work for a terrible idea. What about bulletproof jeans? Bulletproof jeans. Let's see. A few times in the past.

Yeah, they got the vest. Why not the jeans? I guess you have no, well, you do have one major vital organ down there. Or what about bulletproof underwear? Now we're on to something. Bulletproof G-string. Underarmor. I'd rather get fucking, like, shot here or here than get shot down there.

Like, any fucking day. Well, apparently getting shot in the balls, like, getting your unit blown off is one of the most painful things that can happen. It is. Oh, yeah, you got shot in the bag, but it didn't blow your nuts out. No, just had some spaghetti hanging out. Apparently... Just kind of went right through. But if you...

Apparently, if you get shot right in the bag, your nuts explode like grapes, and it's the most painful thing that can happen to you. Jeez, fuck, man. I don't need to feel that right now. I'm just telling you. When I heard. I guess there's a bit of a controversy this year because the bird of the year

it was won by a bat what are you talking about they have a bird of the year contest every year I think it might be New Zealand or somewhere this year it was won by a bat which is whatever I guess my question is

did you not enter what did I not enter? What? Did you not enter the contest? Did I not enter the contest? What are you talking about? Bird of the year Bird of the I'm not a fucking bird

No but you Are you talking about a That's a cock of the year That's not a bird of the year Ricky Bird of the year Boys That was just dumb

The bat So a bat won the fucking thing. How did he win? If you had entered, you clearly would have won. Well, just because he was so cute, I guess. He's only the size of a thumb. His wingspan is only as big as a hand. He's a cute little guy. Well, he's not a fucking bird.

He's a bat. I agree. I would have said, fuck you. Why does it count to mercy? That is a big controversy. I would have started another controversy. How did the fucking Cute bat die

Next year we're gonna Take some nudies of you And send them in That's Look at this Fuck off man Look at this fucking Masterpiece

Also only the size Of a thumb You guys are fucked Also the size Of a thumb Yeah A bent Okay Bob's

Bent triveled up thumb Whatever We could glue some wings on it If you had to Leave me out of this Fucking thing Also the size of a thumb. Yeah. Okay, Bob's one of them. Bent, shriveled up thumb. Whatever. We could glue some wings on it if you had to. Leave me out of this fucking thing. It's fucking the flying birds anyway. Fuck, this was a fucked up headline. New York man bursts into flames after being tasered. Jesus.

Don't believe it. Burst into flames. No, it's fucking true. He's gonna die because he's covered in burns. How the fuck would that happen? Well, there's more to the story. Apparently, he covered himself in hand sanitizer moments before he was tased. And now, I don't know if the police knew this or not, but...

The alcohol. Apparently, hand sanitizer and... We've got to do an experiment. Let's do it. Do we have any? If he's covered in it, it's like 80% alcohol. So if there's a spark on your skin, up you go. Do you have any hand sanitizer?

No. You don't need to test it. It's 80% alcohol on a fucking flame. It's going to light on fire. So it lit his hands on fire? His whole fucking body, man. Wherever he got tased, you know, if you're covered in alcohol and it's fresh and you get tased, there's a spark.

Didn't know that, man. Up you go. Did he do it intentionally? What was his endgame here? He was probably trying to get nice and clean. I would think. Sanitize himself. Must have been quite a sight to see.

Poor bastard. Yeah. Now he's laying awake in some bed, dying slowly from his burns. Well, yeah. Why don't you go up like a fucking piece of kindling? Also in New York, this is another weird one. Firefighters rescued a naked man who was stuck on the bathroom wall for several days at the Landmark Theater. How the fuck? why was he naked?

How did he get in the wall? How, yeah. Employees came and just heard this banging on the wall. They used a fucking camera. I'm in here. I'm in here and I'm naked. Why? Why did he just go back over?

Why did he get naked and try to find the tiniest hole to fucking climb in? He must have been, you know, he might have had mental issues. Maybe he thought he was climbing into, you know. I'm guessing he probably wasn't completely normal. No, he probably thought he found a portal to another universe, another dimension. Office medication, maybe. Yeah. You know what?

People are fucking greasy in this world, man. I don't know how people can live their lives doing shit these guys talking about yourself no i'm not greasy man i'm like not like no man like these guys there's this fucking guy i'm not greasy this guy sets up this raffle to buy like he's an influence influencer one of those people on social media and shit yeah so he buys a brand new fucking SUV, sells tickets on it. And guess who wins? Him.

His mother. Oh, like you wouldn't do that. I would never do that, man. Oh, I don't. Like that's below the belt. You're looking at that story going, fuck, I can't believe I didn't think of that. Well, what I was thinking, maybe we should fucking sell tickets for, I don't know, maybe my Marty Carlo. And who's

going to win it? Me. Depends on how many tickets we sell. If we get above the break-even of what it's worth, then we'll let it go to whoever wants to, you know, a real winner. You could just sell a ticket and say, sorry, we didn't reach the break-even.

And then this other fucking idiot, her husband, you know, he's had some money. So she convinced her husband that he has Alzheimer's. And then he fucking stole 600 grand off him. No, I didn't do that, honey. You're just fucking losing it. That's a fucking. Yeah, that's a fucking. That's a greasy one.

You can't fuck with people's. Yeah, that's wrong. Even you, Julie, one. You can't fuck with people's... Yeah, that's wrong. Even you, Julie, wouldn't do that. Well, I might do it. Depends. I mean, who knows? If it maybe was a bit more than 600 grand, I would do it, maybe.

Depends on the relationship, you know? But it's greasy. I'm fading out, boys. Yeah, time to go to bed. Here's another great headline. Colorado man sets mom's house ablaze trying to clear cobwebs with a blowtorch. Yeah, that sounds like something you'd do, Ricky. You know what?

I would. I've done it, and I'm glad that my house didn't burn down. I didn't think it was dangerous. No, what's dangerous about fucking holding a blowtorch to your wall? Nothing dangerous there. Do you know spiders, they eat their fucking webs when they're done with them, huh? Do you know that? Who does?

Spiders. They eat what? When they're done, their webs get all fucked up. They go into them. Eat them up. Yeah, I assume that. The guy that got tased. Yeah, that's recycling the materials. Yes, Bob. The guy that got tased and caught on fire, I assume that. The guy that got tased. Yeah, that's recycling the materials.

Yes, Bob. The guy that got tased and caught on fire, I assumed that he was drinking gas, but he wasn't. It's just from the fucking hand sanitizer. Yeah. Drinking gas. Yeah. Why would he be drinking gas, Ricky? Well, if he didn't have anything else to drink, he don't want to die of no liquids.

Sipping on it. Why? If you drink a bit of gas, you sweat it out. You get tasered. Poof. I wonder how long you would survive after drinking like a gas. A cup of gas. How long you'd fucking think you'd...

Well, first of all, you'd never keep it down. It's the same as drinking rum. No, it isn't, Ricky. Your body would puke it up. It would reject that. Your body would go, holy fuck. It'd go through your kidneys, your fucking liver. Petroleum.

Petroleum product. Evacuate. I wonder if that's ever happened to somebody. Like somebody... Yes. Evacuate! I wonder if that's ever happened to somebody, like somebody... Yes! Have you guys ever heard of, uh, necro...philia? Necrophilia, Ricky, yes I have. That's a fucking pretty gross, weird thing.

That's fucking dead people, isn't it? That is doing it with the deadies. This fucking weird cunt in the UK, David Fuller. He got busted banging over a hundred female corpses. Oh, what? He kept journals and CDs and DVDs and all, so they knew exactly what he did. A hundred corpses? Where in the fuck did he get them? He worked at a hospital and at a morgue. Oh, my God.

Kept detailed journals of it all. And he was banging the daddies? Yeah. This woman wanted to kill him. She was going to stab him to death. Because I guess he banged her daughter's corpse. She found out. And I guess he banged the mouth, which is hard for me to really think about.

And then she went in and kissed her good boy. What? She wasn't real pleased. How the frick did you get this story? Yeah, man, that's disgusting. It was, it's what I mean. It said he banged the mouth. The mouth.

The mouth. Every hole, basically. It's hard to move the parts after, you know, a while. I don't know if he pried it. I don't know. Just, that's what. He had a hundred bodies and he would just go in and pick a hole. Over 20 years, yeah.

That's a. He kept fucking journals. You know what? So when they searched us out, they found all these journals and CDs and DVDs. Jesus. So, you know, if we were writers, we could make a lot of money writing a movie about this dude.

I don't know. What would it be called? I was reading it going, is this fucking real? Dead fuck. That's what it'd be called. Dead fuck. That's the name of the movie. You got to hit it on your hands.

Or 300 holes. 300 holes. 150, yeah. It could even be more, though. It could be, but I mean 300 minimum. Yeah, 300 holes. If you're talking 100 people, 300 hole minimum could be the name of the movie. A couple of them were shot.

Have even more holes. Bet she banged somebody's nose. Some of the big ol' honker. It's just, I can't even think about that. That poor woman, think about her daughter getting. Oh, man, this guy. Jesus Christ. He needs to be executed.

That guy needs to be taken out and fucking dropped in the ocean. That's what she said. He needs to fucking die. He does! There's no fixing that one. You can't be fixed. You can't go back to normal sex after that, I would think. You're in jail.

Imagine him coming up to us and saying, hey guys, what's up? What are you in for? I was fucking 100 dead bodies for the past 20 years. Apparently it's not good. Jesus. Yeah, that's the kind of shit that keeps me awake at night. Ugh, that's fucked. Well, just thinking, you know, when you think, oh, when I pass away,

I'll be in the ground all safe and sound. You don't want to think about some guy harking your mouth. Or your other holes. No. This is another bad part. The ages range from nine years old to a hundred. See, that's the kind of shit

that keeps me up at night now. Thank you. David Fuller, you are a fucking sick motherfucker. I wish he was watching this so we could tell him to go fuck himself. He needs to be stoned to death. You know,

like back in the old days. Yes. Just fucking line him up and biff rocks at him. Yeah. Beth them. I like that word. Beth.

You don't hear Beth enough anymore. All right, let's change this. You got another story? You got any, like, feel good stories? All right,

yes I do. This is the last one 300 holes Camilla Parker Bowles do we know who she is yes she's a duchess married to Prince

Prince Charles Prince Charming not Prince Charming Prince I bet you she's a fucking wildcat well she has to be she's gotta be

no she's not I bet you she is if she shows her over Lady Di she's gotta be she's got something going man no I don't know that's what I've been thinking she's not and neither is he that's the problem She shows her over Lady Di. She's got to be. She's got something going, man. No. I don't know.

That's what I've been thinking. She's not. And neither is he. That's the problem. They're both like, hello. Oh, yes. I bet you they get dirty, buddy. No, they don't get dirty. They get a bit of scotch in them.

Yeah. Clothes are coming off and shit's going down. Charles and Camilla. They're fucking banging like fucking two. I bet you they never even been in the fucking shower together. I bet you they've been in the royal fucking

I bet you they've been in the royal tub. No, I bet you they've been in the royal tub many times. No, I bet you he takes his pants off under the blankets and so

does she. All right, I bet you they've never done a 69er, but they've been in the fucking royal tub. I think they've done it all. I think they've got a

big chest full of toys and they're having a big giant herkies. Nop french charles has a big fucking chest of toys no way i don't know man i'll never believe that as long as i live dirty motherfuckers anyway she claims that this fucking what's going on right now an environmental summit maybe yes okay i got it yeah good yeah yes anyway she claims that biden loaded a long loud awful fart while speaking to her at cop 26 and what happens and then she also says he nodded off for over 20 minutes. He's nice to sleep. He puts in long hours.

Yeah, you know, the time change and shit. And he is, what, 89? And the shit they're fucking listening to is boring as fuck. You wouldn't see me at a meeting like that. And he's not fucking crushing up pills and snorting them. What, she is? No, but other people are. He's not a pill. he's not a snorter,

so he's got nothing in his system. I guess he let out this long, crazy fart and didn't even hold it. Hey, let her go, man. He's just pretending like, just let her go. It's me. Hey, he's helping the wild.

Bit of royal wind. It's November the 12th already. Jesus Christ. Fucking shitty. Get this one over with, man. It's been the 12th already. Jesus Christ. Fucking shitty. Get this one over with, man. It's been beautiful out. Hey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's been beautiful. It was a nice remembrance day yesterday. It wasn't really holiday dust because every day is, but it was. Yeah. Did you remember the people? I fucking did. Because guess what I found out? It's the 100th fucking anniversary of the poppy, motherfucker. The 100th anniversary of the poppy motherfucker the 100th anniversary of the poppy i think maybe i could have got that wrong

we should have put our poppies on our shirts mine's on my jacket mine's on my jacket on my fucking jacket did i show you guys i'll show you after how to put one on properly no oh we know bubs we know we watch tiktok now we It's been on TikTok. I don't know how. How do you do it? Did you think of this yourself? No, I learned it. On what? From a veteran. From TikTok.

No, not from TikTok. From a veteran. Bullshit, man. You've been on that a lot. A veteran. Veteran? You showed me. No, I'm a military veteran.

Showed me. At the Legion. It was at the Legion. Or you spent like fucking six hours on tiktok yesterday no he was from the legion but it was at canadian tire at the doors of canadian tire but he was a legion fella and i was buying it and i was putting it on he goes do you know you're putting that on wrong and i said no i don't sir he goes do you want to know how to put it on so she doesn't come off and i said yes i do and he taught me right at canadian tire don't leave us hanging here man

it's you know what i've been doing that fucking way for years what is it you put it down into the thing right and then you take the very end and poke it down in through your fucking chest chest no your chest your No, into the jacket. Wrong. Okay, what do you do then? Incorrect. Hit me with it. You take the pin. You go down through the material and back out.

Right? And that's what most people do. And then down in again? No. Fuck, that's what I do. Then you pull the pin out. You push the poppy down the pin. And you fold it over and you put the pin through the very edge of the poppy. I forgot that part. And then into the material.

I forgot that. And then you can pick the jacket up by the poppy. Shut the fuck up. I'm telling you, Ricky. I forgot that one. I knew that. No, that's the main part. You were watching on TikTok.

You didn't fucking buy it at the Legion. I bought it at Canadian fucking Tire. People have been telling me that you've been spending a lot of time online. I'm on the TikTok. I'm not denying that, but I did not see you on there. Oh, as if I'm a neglector. I am not a neglector. Yesterday when we were all fucked up and we were joking around saying we were

going to start Kick Cock? Yes. Kick Cock? It's a fucking website. It's just a bunch of people getting kicked in the cock. Kicked in the balls? Yeah. Is there one?

No, there could be. I don't know. Oh, I thought you were going to say there's already one. Yeah, Ricky wanted to start Kick Cock. Kick Cock. It's just videos of people getting booted in the nuts all right i'd probably watch it for a while anybody interested get born on november the 12th jack ryan oh tom clancy yes actually no it's not him jack ryan isn't that tom cruise or is he Jack Reacher?

Jack Reacher. And he fucking ruined it. Jack Reacher round. Fucking ruined it. Can't believe the cast. He's too small. Fuck. I guess this Jack Ryan is an American inventor at Mattel.

Oh. Did he invent the Barbie doll? Hot Wheels? Chatty Cathy? Holy fuck. Jack Ryan. Imagine if he's got royalties on there. Charles Manson.

Oh, Charles Manson. Speaking of twisted motherfuckers. Yeah. You should go hang out with, what was that fucking weird cunt's name? David Fuller. Jesus Christ. I think even Charlie would say, you're fucked, bud. You know what they're also saying?

Art Kelly? That group of crazy fucking people? Or something like, they're comparing, bud. You know what they're also saying? Art Kelly, that group of crazy fucking people, are something like they're comparing him to Charles Manson. Really? Because he's in jail right now, but yet the people that have been following him and banging him or whatever they're fucking doing are like, nope, I'm not going to talk about him.

Oh, are they going to cut things into their forehead like the Manson people did? Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly. Hot. She was hot. Neil fucking Neal. She wasn't? Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly. Hot. She was hot. Neil fucking Young. She wasn't hot, Julian. She was beautiful.

We're going to play it. Fucking hot. We're going to play Shitcock. No, she was elegant and beautiful. Shitcock and Neil Young is going to get played today. What is? Neil Young's birthday, man. We've got to play a Shitcock and Neil Young.

Neil Young. Love him. Don't, Neil Young. He's awesome. I remember this from the... Oh, fucking Julian. Prepare to get her. Okay't, Neil Young. He's awesome. I remember this from the... Oh, fucking Julian. Prepare to get hurt. Okay, here we go.

Pick on Julian Day, isn't it? You know, what have we done? Born days on November the 12th? Because this sounds familiar. Ryan Gosling, who you get hurt to all the time. I get hurt to all the time. I don't know. You guys are fucked.

I was just sort of joking. I wonder why his family picked Gosling. Like, why not Duckling? Oh. You ever hear of Gosling rum? Is that why? Well, can you imagine having a fucking rum called Duckling rum? Not cool.

There's a wine called Baby Duck Champagne. And that's for fucking idiots. What's cuter, a Gosling or a Duckling? What is a Gosling? Isn't it a baby geese? Is it? A Ducker, a gosling or a duckling? What is a gosling? Isn't it a baby geese? Is it? A duckling? A goose-ling.

A gosling's a baby. No, man. I got that fucked up. No, you totally. No, I think you might be right. Is that what a gosling is? It's a baby swan. A baby swan.

A swan-ling. A swinny? A swanny. No, man. You're wrong. You're wrong. Swanee, how I love you, how I love you, my dear old swanee. Anne Hathaway. Ooh, Anne Hathaway.

She's pretty good. Very hot. Fantastic actress. And hot. I don't think hot is the word again. I think it's... Sexy? Beautiful and elegant. I don't know a lot of these people.

Oh, Tonya Herding. Oh, the leg smasher. Yep. Crazy, crazy woman. She smashed shins. She? Shinbreaker. She was, she had some shit going on. Oh, Shinbreaker Herding. You liked her? I kind of, I would've, you know, back in the day, I would've She Shin breaker She was She had some shit going on Oh shin breaker She was

You liked her I kinda I would've You know Back in the day I would've dated her By chance By dated her

You mean Well you know You might end up With fucking broken shins Broken cock Nah I'd I bet you she was A fucking wild one

Huh Yeah That's what I'm saying. Beating on you with pipes and stuff. Yeah, that's kind of fucked. She's fucking a head up. What was the lady she cranked in the legs? Nancy Kerrigan.

Nancy Kerrigan. That's a whole other level of hotness. And what was Tonya Harding's boyfriend who was involved in the whole? Fucking, yeah. What was his name? He was fucking... John Wayne Gacy. No, he was a murderer.

He was fucked. He thought he was like from a... He thought he was like a secret agent or something. What the fuck was wrong with that dude? Special training. Yeah, he thought he was like a special ops guy and he was just some asshole. What was his fucking name? Hank, can't come up with it.

Google it. Google her on the machine. No, no, no. Tonya Herding's boyfriend. Was it her boyfriend or just some guy? Who's the guy that got his wiener cut off? John Wayne Bobbitt. John Wayne Bobbitt? Wiener. Wasn't it? It was Bobbitt. I don't think it was John

Wayne, was it? I think so. John Wayne Bobbitt. Doesn't sound, wasn't it? I think it was Bobbitt. I don't think it was John Wayne, was it? I think so. John Wayne Bobbitt. It doesn't sound familiar, but maybe. What was the guy that got his wiener cut off? Johnny Bobbitt. By Lorena Bobbitt. I think it was John Wayne Bobbitt. We should get an update on that guy, see how the wieners work.

He did a porno! No, he didn't. He did. He got his wiener sewed back on and they paid him a million dollars. Was the name of it Half Cut? It was, I don't know, Stitches or something. Stitches. How was it?

Franken-Wiener. He did a porno. They paid him a million dollars. I never saw it, but they paid him a million dollars to get his old fucking bent, scared Frankenstein. So is he like a slow and easy kind of banger now? Or is he like fucking just giving a... Just pull up in the porn hub there and search Bubbitt. I don't want to see Bubbitt's fucking stitched up wiener, man.

What was his name? We need to find out two things. Who? Okay, what? Tonya Herding's boyfriend, first of all. Jeff. Was it Jeff? Jeff.

Okay, we're going to say... Jeff. I don't know if Jeff sounds familiar. Jeff doesn't ring a bell to me. Tonya Herding. Oh, Okay, we're going to say it. I don't know, but Jeff sounds familiar. Jeff doesn't ring a bell to me. Tonya Herdy? Oh, yeah, she's looking good, man. Tonya Herdy? Yeah, in this picture, yeah. What was his name?

Jeff? Maybe it wasn't Jeff. Jeff. Man, okay, just a second. I can't believe I'm walking this shit up. Who the fuck beat Chance Kerrigan? His legs. No, it wasn't.

I don't think Tonya actually swung the pipe. She hired somebody.'s Kerrigan. No. His legs. No, it wasn't. I don't think Tonya actually swung the pipe. She hired somebody. No, he did. It was Jeff. Is she still with Jeff? Boo! What?

Is she still with him? I don't know, man. Just a second. What's his name? Just a fucking second here. Holy fuck. There, I can fucking see. It's bright.

You've got to be the worst Google operator. Jeff Rich. You've got to be the worst Google operator. Bob, just give me a break, man. I could find this out in two seconds. Tony's still with Jeff.

I'm getting out of here. She's divorced the motherfucker. I don't care about their marital status. I want to know the cocksucker's name. I can't even pronounce it. And married her second husband, whose name was Michael Smith in 1995. Whoa, well done. Just wait now.

You know Michael Smith, don't you? I do. What are you? Mary's last in only three months. Today, herding 47, lives in Washington State with her third husband, Joseph. Jens Price. You still didn't tell me the cocksucker's last name. It's fucking Jeff.

Jeff? Jeff Gilooly. I can't pronounce him. Yeah, it's a weird one. Jeff Gilooly. That's what I just fucking said. Jeff Gilooly. I couldn't remember the cocksucker's name.

And you know what? Who gives a fuck? I do. But I don't. Jeff Gilooly. Okay. Search that Bobbitt cock cutoff. First name.

If I, you know what, if there were cops ever found this and they did a little scan and want to be looking up Bobbitt's what? Weiner removal. Cock cutoff. First name.

Last name. Bobbitt Weiner removal. No, we know the last name. Bobbitt penis. What do you want to know about it? Yes.

Bobbitt penis. Bobbit Penis. That should be enough. Lorena Bobbit. Okay, what do you want to know? I want to know his name. Was it John Wayne Bobbit? John. It's just John Bobbit.

No, he had a double name. Okay, let me get into fucking Wikipedia here. Oh, you know what? What? You're right. John Wayne Bobbit. Fuck! John Wayne Bobbitt. Fuck! John Wayne Bobbitt.

Born 1967 and Lorena Bobbitt were an American couple married on June 18, 1989. Are they still together? Oh, man. She hacked off his car. He's staying away from her, man. He's throwing the field, Ricky. He's staying away from her. I'm guessing they got a divorce, but I could be wrong.

Just wait. I'm going to tell you what the name of the porno he was in was called. If I can just get this page to load, it's going to tell me. Love Hurts? Love Hurts. That's the name of the movie they... Is it? Yeah, man.

Love Hurts. No, it's not the porno. Not the porno. Oh, just wait now. Limerick T-shirt slogan. I got Bobbitt up here with his penis on my fucking Google. I'm going to see if I can find it. It's the porn one, right?

Yes. Here, just wait. What porno? Jesus Christ. What porno film was John Wayne Bobbitt in? John Wayne Bobbitt in. John Wayne Bobbitt. I knew it. As an adult, we're very real.

Okay, just suck. Uncut. That's what it's called. John Wayne Bobbitt, uncut. But it is cut. It's the movie's uncut. John Wayne Bobbitt. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Did you see it? Okay, it popped up. You saw his penis? Yeah, I pressed the link. It's got, he's got two women at the same time. What's his wiener look like? I don't know. It's in this chick's mouth.

Just a second. Okay, no, that's not it. Was it cut right at the base? Yeah. Halfway up. No, I think it was right at the base. Oh, he's, look at this fucking guy. He's just like, yeah, he's in a tuxedo.

Oh, yeah, he became a celebrity. Okay. Let's see what's happening here. He was a big time celebrity walking around with his sawed off wiener. Well, you think. I mean, someone had a sawed off wiener. He's got two ladies. So he's like, hey world.

It doesn't matter. It's working. He's a celebrity. Doesn't matter what you're famous for. You're still famous. People are like, I want to hang out with him because he got his cock cut off with a knife. I'm definitely hanging out with him. Okay.

I want to put that in my mouth. Yeah, okay. I got a glimpse of the wiener. That's it. It's still working. Oh, you did get a glimpse. Yeah. Why are you getting hurt?

I'm not getting hurt. Shut the fuck up, bubs. That's it. That's enough. That's enough for today. John Wayne Bobbitt. Now the people know. November the 12th, in the books. Bye-bye.

I don't like doing that.