Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 25 - Let's Dance

Episode Date: January 21, 2016

The Boys pay their respects to Grizzly Adams, David Bowie and Glenn Frey, and Julian reveals his favourite dancing songs. They also discuss this year's Oscars, and Ricky's plan to sabotage it! Episode 25 is brought to you by Jukasa vapor products!  

What one is it Julian? 26 or 27? I thought it was 25. Well, you get the fucking new computer to run the fucking podcast somehow, you get it. And you don't even know what one we're on. It's 25 or 26. How's it going, fuckers? This is Trailer Park Boys Podcast coming at you right now. Number what?

Number 26, maybe. 27, who gives a fuck? Well, if you're going to be getting fucking hogging the... Who sits around fucking putting everything in order, man? But if you're going to be hogging the fucking gifts that we're getting for the podcast, you better start running the show and know what the fuck

one we're on. Well, this is part of what I'm doing here. I needed this new laptop for the shit that we're doing on the podcast. But why do you get it?

Because they gave it to me. They know that I'm the one that's negotiating everything. I'm doing most of the work here, man. All right, just get a quick close-up of these, please, Chipper. Sorry, what the fuck's

happening here, guys? Chikasa. Alright, let's get this going. What number is it? What day is it? Guys, like, who gives a fuck? It's Friday. I like to be organized and know what fucking podcast I'm making. Number 26, Ricky. For sure?

Well, I don't know. Do I have to go into the fucking site and check this out? Because I can do that now. That's Mr. Free Laptop over there. So 26 weeks is almost half a year we've been doing these fucking things. Yeah. Yeah, you are right. I've been doing a lot of math.

Not a fuck. Not almost. It is. It is, man. It's exactly right. Well, unless it's a... I thought for sure you were... A jump year.

The what? It could be a jump year,, unless it's a... I thought for sure you were... A jump year. The what? It could be a jump year, and then it's not quite... A jump year. I've been doing a lot of math this morning, so I'm fucking feeling good about numbers, boys. You've been doing a lot of math? Mm-hmm. Why? What kind of math?

Just trying to figure out how many cigarettes I'm allowed to smoke this weekend. I'm down to 200 a week. 200 a week? Yep allowed to smoke this weekend. I'm down to 200 a week. 200 a week? Yep, so far this week. I've only smoked two full packs. 200 a week? How many are in a pack? 25.

So 10 packs a week. That's what you're smoking. That's not a lot when you're a party. You're used to smoking fucking 15 packs a week. 200 cigarettes, he's down to 8 packs a week. He's down to 8 packs. That's not fucking bad, boys. And this week so far, I've only smoked 44 cigarettes because I had two packs. There's 15 a pack.

Six left. 44. I did the math right there. 200 left. So I've got to see how many I can smoke this weekend. What are you trying to keep it under? What number? So I can smoke 166 cigarettes this weekend, and I'll still be at my target of 200.

And I probably won't smoke that many this weekend so boys I am getting fucking healthier. 166 cigarettes on the weekend? That's what I could smoke if I wanted to keep it. That's my point is I probably won't smoke. Six and a half packs over the weekend. Three packs a day. This little thing's fucking helping me quit, I'm telling you. What are you talking about, Rick?

What thing? The healthier smoke thing, the device. From the Chikasa thing? Yeah. And you're smoking right now? Yeah, I got her set to bled. Fucking fantastic. What do you think of the bled mode? 44 cigarettes, that's all I smoked this week, boys.

That's amazing. Okay, so those little things you're smoking- Are you guys getting healthier? Just a sec, I'm trying to figure something out. Still drinking most of my liquor mixed with juice, so that's healthy still. We better. I'm getting healthier too. I've been cutting down. I could be in the best shape of my fucking life right now. Or working towards it, anyway.

Wait, now, you know what? Boys. What? I think this is podcast number 25. Did we say 26? Well maybe you guys should let me do the math, cause obviously I know what the fuck I'm doing these days with adjutures and uh...

Adjutures? Subtractors. What the fuck are you talking about? Adjutors and subtractors. Alright, let's get into something. What do you guys want to talk about? Should we talk about the Oscars? Talking about getting help. We could talk about a lot of things. One thing I want to talk about is I'm pretty impressed that I only had 44 smokes this week

because it was a fucking tough week for me. What are you talking about? Fucking Grizzly Adams died, man. Oh, man. It was a fucking big part of my up-growing. Well, Ricky, I mean, that does, that's terrible that Grizzly Adams died. I thought you were going to say David Bowie. No.

David Bowie died, That's sort of... There's more people now that died, man. There's a lot of people... I know. Glenn Fry. Glenn Fry. Glenn Fried died? Huh? Glenn Fried?

Fry. Fry. Not Fry. His name was not Glenn Fried. He got fried a lot, though. From the hawks or whatever fucking bird it was. Glenn Fried. Glenn Fry from the Eagles. He's dead. He got fried a lot though. From the hawks or whatever fucking bird it was. Unfried. Glen fried from the eagles. He's dead.

Yeah, he died, Ricky. Holy fuck, everyone's dying. Celine Dion, her husband Rene, he's gone now. And her brother died soon after. Something's going on, boys. Yeah. There's too many fucking people dying. I know.

David Bowie, I couldn't believe that. Yeah, it's 69. Yeah, you were a big fan of his, weren't you? Ground Control to Major Tom. Yeah, Let's Dance, that was another good tune he did. I bet you would have liked that one. He had fucking hundreds of tunes. There's been hundreds of tunes, man.

Hundreds of tunes. It was amazing. Let's Dance, that's funny that you picked that one because that's one of the, you know, more feminine of the videos for him and Jagger. What are you talking about? Father, I mean, you've seen the video, right? Let's Dance?

Listen, Jagger wasn't in Let's Dance. He was in another one, man. You guys are, like, really experts on all this dance and stuff. It's okay if you like to dance. I like to dance a little bit. No, I'm just... You're drunk in your eye listening to Let. I like to dance a little bit. No, I'm just, you're drunk in your eye

listening to Les dance. You're moving a bit. It's a good fucking tune. Don't fucking look at me that way, bubs. I'm just teasing you. Why don't we put it on right now and you guys can fucking cut up your rugs.

I'm not, no, I'm not fucking dancing to David Bowie right now. No, I was talking about dancing in the street. Yeah, dancing in the street. Yeah, dancing in the street. Yeah, you're trying to make me look like a dick.

I was trying to make you. And you totally picked the wrong fucking song there, music expert. Well, I'm baked. You're baked? No, you really fucked that one up. He must have really liked to dance. Who? David. Of course, well, yeah.

Because he's asking people to dance. Like, Jerry likes to dance. He's like, hey, let's dance. And then he's like, fuck, you know what? May as well take you to the streets. And do another song about dancing. There's two fucking songs about dancing. He's probably got way more songs about dancing than just them two.

Was he a good dancer? Julian? I don't fucking know. Were you attracted to his dancing anyway? Was he at the level of someone like, say, I don't know, just pick someone at random, Patrick Swayze? Why do you have to get into Patrick Swayze, man? Well, was he at that level? I'm just wondering.

No, listen, I don't give a fuck about dancing, okay? If I'm with a hot chick and she's grinding on me and stuff, I will dance if some music's on. Can you show us? I don't think about it. You've always liked dancing songs. Dance the night away. No, no, no, no, no, stuff. I will dance if some music's on. Can you show us? I don't know. You've always liked dancing songs. Dance the night away. No, no, no, no, no, no. I've also liked...

Leo Sayer. I feel like dancing. Yeah. Dancing. Dancing the night away. You like the dancing songs. You're the one that dances more than anybody. That used to come blasting out of your trailer every morning.

Bull fucking shit. And you could hear the floorboards in there, like, creaking, because you were in there. Bull fucking shit. Banging. hear the floorboards in there like creaking because you were in there. Bull fucking shit. Banging. Dancing? I was probably banging, not dancing. No, because the creaking was going to the beat of the music. No, no, no.

Do you bang to the beat of the music? No, I don't. Well, maybe, yeah. Sometimes I do, but getting back to dancing. You'll never see me dancing first thing in the morning, like ever. I've got to be pretty fine. I've got to be like on the swish to be dancing.

Tommy Dancer? Tommy Dancer, the life. What the fuck he's, why would you start singing that song? It's Tiny Dancer, not Tommy. Tommy Dancer was the guy that used to run the salvage yard. Fuck. Alright, I fucked that up. Did you think the song was about Tommy Dancer? Well, maybe he used to sing it and it got in my head or something.

I don't know. I don't know where that came from. He probably used to walk around singing Tommy Dancer, because he was a pretty cocky fella. He was a good dancer, too. A lot better than Julian. You know what? I don't give a fuck.

Like, I don't dance, boys. Hey, you guys didn't see this, did you? You took dance lessons. No, I didn't. You're the only person I know that took... Where did I take dance lessons, boys. Hey, you guys didn't see this, did you? You took dance lessons. No, I didn't. You're the only person I know. Where did I take dance lessons? Bull fucking shit. Someone's doing something right, apparently.

Swearing I gave me these. Said you're doing a fucking great job, Rick. You have been doing a good job, Rick. What'd you guys get? Swearing I gave you all those lighters. Yep. See, some people can't see if they can only hear it. They don't know what you're holding up.

Ricky's got a fucking rack with about 50 lighters in it. Yep, yep. And I got the computer, which is a good thing. But those cost him some fucking money, and they gave them to me. Boys, check this out. Your own vape pad. That's for you, bubs. Chikasa.

And here's all these fucking, you fill them up with oils, man. Give me some of those. Chocolate Kiss, check that out. Do you got any more of these Arteguys? Here, man, no, there's Chirk. them up with oils, man. Give me some of those. Chocolate Kiss. Check that out. Do you have any more of these Arctic Ice? Here, man. No, there's Chirk. Those are fucking good, man. Summer Tea.

Wait a second. You've got a fucking laptop and you've got a hundred lighters. Where the fuck? Why am I not getting anything? I'm the one that does all the fucking work. Well, that's not the way people are thinking about that, bud. They're not even doing much of the work. And you know you're getting paid for this, Jukasa.

You have to be. Well, money's coming in, but it's going into an account that we can't really get into at the moment. So you are getting paid by Jukasa. No, I'm not getting paid. The company that's doing this shit is getting paid. We get to pay after they get paid. And what company's that? Swear not. Well, they're getting paid. Well, shit is getting paid. We get to pay after they get paid. And what company's that? Swear not.

Well, they're getting paid. Well, they're getting paid something. And then it seems to be filtering down to you through kickbacks and gifts. Well, I get this, but this is for work. This is an expense. This cost them nothing. Okay? These cost nothing.

Okay, if they cost nothing, tell them I need one. Well, it's not in the budget. I mean, there's always a budget. It's a new year. Maybe they'll get, tell them I need one. Well, it's not in the budget. I mean, there's always a budget. It's a new year, and maybe they'll get back to you on that one. I don't know how the fuck we got so fucked up with talking about this shit. We're talking about all these important dead things. And, Bob, here's a question for you, because this has upset me all week. I couldn't sleep.

Grizzly Adam's gone. So who the fuck's going to look after Ben and the others? Well. Who? The fucking bear? The bear. And the bear's probably kids, and at this point maybe grandchildren. That fucking bear's been dead for years, man. What?

What the fuck are you talking about? He died like fucking a decade ago, man. What? He died peacefully. Bears fucking outlive their owners. That's a fucking known fact and he was born on the fucking show

or was it the movie I forget now it may have been the movie so he's definitely still fucking alive he'd only be 55, 60 no he's stuffed somewhere in some fucking museum

when was that let's say 70 oh fuck I gotta look this up just the bear's fine Julian Just the bear is fine, Julian. The bear is fine, Ricky. He still lives there. Just a second.

See the eight. I hate when you have to carry the number all the way over from there to this and then do that. Fuck off. Ten to three. Fuck, I can't figure it out. No, it's not right. He's not 38, is he? Oh. I fucked up.

Okay. The bear is fine, Ricky. Okay, good. Who's looking after him is my point. You know what? Grizzly's brother. He didn't have a brother. He had a sister that fucked him over. He had a brother, too. A half-brother named... Lower out of the woods.

I think that bear is still alive. He is. He's alive. No, I bear's still alive. He proved his innocence. He is. He's alive. No, I thought he was fucking dead, though, man. And he's being looked after by Grizzly's half-brother. Okay. Well, then I couldn't sleep tonight because I was just worried about him roaming around the woods. No friends.

No one fucking able to feed him. He's a bear, man. He's no problem with getting food, okay? Well, it depends on where he is. If he's caged up, he's gonna have a fucking problem. Can't use the force and levitate a fucking stake over to himself. Alright, his name, you know what? His name wasn't Ben.

His name was Bozo. Bozo the fucking bear. No, it wasn't. Bozo? That's what it's saying here, man. Bozo was a clown, I think. Well, he was also the fucking bear in Grizzly Adams. The bear in Grizzly Adams was real.

It wasn't fucking Bozo dressed up in a fucking bear suit. What the fuck is going on here? Oh, look who's putting on some dance music. I don't like dance music. This came on by mistake, man. Dance, dance, dance. I don't like dancing, but oh, look at that. I queued up my last song that I played, and it was a dance song.

Why do things keep popping up on the screen, man? I don't know. Maybe they gave you the old shit computer with viruses all over it. For fuck's sakes. I can't find it. He might be dead. He may not be dead. But his name is Bozo.

Take Bob's word for it that someone's looking after him. He's happy. Or he's stuffed. I'm going to sleep tonight. Anyways, I'm smoking a shit ton of cigarettes. I'm getting shit-faced fucking drunk and stoned all night. It's fucking Friday. It's party time.

I've been good all week. Well, except for Tuesday. What happened Tuesday? Didn't I see you Tuesday? I don't know. I woke up in a fucking snowbank wrapped in four blankets. Ricky, you were fucked up Tuesday. Yeah.

This whole cigarette count you're doing, it's way off, man. I'm telling you. You get into the state where you don't remember a fucking thing. This doesn't include bumming cigarettes, but I bum cigarettes all the time, so it's still the same. Does it count when you're experiencing memory loss? Do you have memory loss, smokes? You might as well throw down at least 50 for that fucking... The only way I can keep track is I know how many I buy, I know how many are left.

How many do you buy? You fucking, you steal half the ones you fucking have. But I've been doing that my whole life. And you rule fucking cigarette butts. Ricky, cigarettes that you bum, why don't those count? You're still smoking a cigarette. Okay, well, maybe instead of getting healthier, I'm saving money then.

Is that what you want me to say? Well, I mean, no... When's the last time you bought smokes? Sunday. I bought two packs. Fifty cigarettes, and I still got six left. So I've got to be a bit healthier, because normally I would have went through fucking...

You know what I just thought of? Seven, eight packs by now. You know what I just thought of? You could walk into a convenience store and say, give me a Shakur of cigarettes, please. Come again? What? Give me a Shakur of cigarettes, please. Come again? What? Give me a Shakur of cigarettes.

A Shakur? Give me a Shakur of cigarettes, please. Shakur? What's a Shakur, Bob? Two packs! Oh, fuck. I get it now. Yeah?

Yeah. I'll have a Shakur of cigarettes, please. How many? Two packs. That was a good cigarettes, please. How many? Two packs. That was a good one, Bubz. That was fucked. Bubbles jokes. Bubbles jokes.

You've got to set it up differently or something, man. I disagree. I think that nailed it. All right. You're fucking right to joke, then. All right. I'll come up with a joke. I'm too busy fucking looking at dance videos. Bull fucking shit. All right, what are you gonna do? You're fucking right to joke, Dad. All right, I'll come up with a joke. You're too busy fucking looking at dance videos.

Bull fucking shit. All right. Were you gonna talk about all these fucking dumb awards and shit? Has everybody ever said something about them? Yeah. The Oscars. The Academy that decides the awards. Yeah, we could talk about that.

I mean, there was the People's Choice Awards on here tonight. You know? Who gives a fuck about awards, really? Who won top dancer? Fuck off, Bubz. You're going to keep that up the entire fucking podcast? Maybe. The nominees for best dancer in a podcast.

All right, I'm not... Juliet! Have fun doing this podcast without me, boys, because I'm going to just sit here and play on my private computer. I almost never did a fucking other one after the way time but here I am trying to suck it up. Bubbles made me. So. Okay, so the Oscars. Let's talk about that for a minute. Have fun.

Oh, you're not talking anymore? Nope. Just gonna eat your healthy chips. Is it the same dude that makes the meat that goes out the awards? No, Ricky. Oscar Mayer? No, Ricky. Oscar Mayer? No, Ricky, it's too... They're called the Academy Awards, but the little gold guy got the nickname Oscar, I believe.

Yeah. Hmm. So is it named after somebody, like a meat man, or...? Want me to look it up? On your fancy computer? I'll look it up. It's not Oscar Mayer. You don't have to look I'll look it up. It's not Oscar Mayer. You don't have to look that up.

I can guarantee you it's not Oscar Mayer. The Hot Dog Awards are after somebody, right? That's what they look up to. I bet you the Oscar Mayer company sponsored the first fucking awards, and it just stuck. So you think the gold guy you get when you win an Academy Award, that gold statue, that's fucking Oscar Mayer, the hot dog wiener man.

And they just shorted Oscar. No, man. No, Ricky, they probably would have made the award just like a big gold hot dog. If that was the case. All right, well, it was a good guess, though, wasn't it? And the guy on the statue was very lean. You know, he's doing whatever. He's a lean person.

I guarantee you Oscar Mayer was fucking... He wasn't in great shape. He couldn't have been. No, but he wasn't. All that fucking meat laying around, you got to eat it. That's what I mean. You imagine the amount of fucking hot dogs he drove into himself. Fucking baloney.

What do you mean drove into himself? Well, I don't mean drove into himself. I mean hot dogs he drove into his food hole, not his other one. So the nickname of Oscar has unknown origins. They don't fucking know. So they're trying to bury the fact that it is from the meat company. It's not from the fucking meat company. They said this chick that worked there said,

hey, that looks just like my uncle Oscar. So they were like, oh, fuck, what a great name. Oscar. So it doesn't mean shit. That's more likely than the Oscar Mayer. Being the wiener dude. Wiener man. There's no connection to Oscar Mayer and the Oscars.

Just a statue. Total coincidentally, it looks like her fucking Uncle Oscar. That's where that comes from. What a great fucking story that is. Fucking stupid. Ricky, it's very easily possible. I may never watch them again because of that. Well, I wasn't supposed to watch them this year anyway

because everyone's pissed off. Yeah, people are pissed off. I think people are boycotting it because there's no, in all the categories, there's like hardly any black people nominated. Yeah, I mean. And I agree with it. I think it's bullshit.

Well, Tyrone and J-Rock, they came by and fucking, they had some good points. It is fucking bullshit. It's bullshit. Straight out of Compton. How in the fuck does that not get nominated? Yeah. That was a fucking awesome movie. And I'm not even joking.

I went and saw that and I was just like blown away. Well, Snoop Dogg, he did say best movie ever, should win an Oscar and you know what? After watching it, I think it should have. I thought it was a good fucking movie too. It should have got something. It's fucking awesome. So, you know what? I support them. The people that are boycotting Spike Lee and those

people. I fucking completely agree. Well, you can be part of our plan then. What plan? Apparently it's going to be on a Sunday night this year. I don't agree. Well, you can be part of our plan then. What plan? Apparently it's going to be on a Sunday night this year. I don't know when, but when it happens. It's on a Sunday night every year, isn't it? Yeah. Sunday night. I don't fucking know. I don't always watch it, but we're going to go

rip down all the satellite dishes and we're going to cut the main cable feed into the Sunnyvale so nobody in the fucking park can watch it. Fuck them. That'll teach them a lesson. How is that going to teach them a lesson? You're going to piss everybody off at the park? They're going to hear about it. They'll fucking call Oscar up and say, Who's going to give a fuck whether we watch it or not?

They're fucking Sunnyvale. Got to get their cable fixed again. Every fucking year now, Ricky and the boys are taking down satellite dishes, cutting cable feeds. Ricky, do you know what fucking Donnie will do if you cut the fucking feed to the park? Donnie waits all year for the fucking Oscars.

That's his only thing he cares about. If you cut the feed and Donnie finds out you did that he will fucking burn your trailer down. I think it's good to make a fucking talk out to people about... Talk about you? It's not gonna make any difference if we do it in Sunnyvale, man. People don't give a fuck. Then let's cut the feed the whole fucking city. Fuck them. Well, now you're... And put a big blanket over the city so satellite can't even get through. Or a big tarp.

Oh, jeez. That'll make some fucking noise, won't it? How the fuck are you going to put a tarp over the city, man? Sew it. I think... You've got to think before you fucking say shit like that. How, Rick? Sew them all together.

Sew them together? Yeah. And just use the telephone poles as the tent poles. It would take a fucking long time. We're going to have to start probably tomorrow because they're on in a few weeks. It would take a lot longer than that, man. It's a big...

The problem is going to be hiding it. Hiding it? Like if we had them on a big long rope waiting to go, then we just... Everyone grabs a rope and pulls it over the whole fucking city. Just imagine like a small tarpon on a bigger scale. Oh, I understand the concept. You understand what you want to do.

I don't think you get the scale of what a fucking task that would be. All right, well, fuck. Let's start with Sunnyvale this year and maybe the city next year. Anyway, I'm not watching. Fuck them. Who did get nominated, by the way? Who was the top actor? Mark Damon. Bryan Cranston. That was from... What movie was he in?

Let me look it up. He is a good actor. He's a great actor. Oh, yeah, he's the guy from Breaking Bad. Yeah. He's really good. Mark Damon's good, too, though. He's from the Mars. Mars.

Matt Damon. Matt Damon. The Martian. The Martian, yes. That was a fucking fantastic movie, too. You called him Mark Damon. He's Matt Damon. You're mixing them up with Mark Wahlberg, probably.

Oh, they look the same. Combining them into one person. They do look the same. They act the same. Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon don't look the same. If you had to pick one, who would you pick? Based on? Uh, I don't know.

Who would you pick, Julian? Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg? For what? Uh, I don't know. Who would you pick, Julian? Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg? For what? Looks and acting ability. Who did it? Who's Ricky picking? Well, he said Mark Damon, so he created a hybrid.

You know what? I'm looking through. I've got pictures of everybody that's nominated. They're right, man. Oh, okay. It's fucking, it's horrible. Who are the top actors? Bryan Cranston, Matt Damon.

Who else? Leonardo. Oh, Leo DiCaprio for that River movie. Who? The River movie. Who? The River movie. The what? What are you? Leo.

Ricky. I saw it on TV. He's floating down a fuck river. And there's these dudes on horses chasing him. He's like, fuck off. The Revenant. It's called The Revenant. All right, we get Michael. But how did you say his name?

Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo DiCaprio. His name is Leonardo DiCaprio. His name is Leonardo DiCaprio, not Leo. Why, they call him Leo. Yeah, you can shorten Leonardo to Leo, but his last name is DiCaprio, not DiCaprio-nardo. I like it better, actually. You should change it.

Michael Fassbender. Steve Jobs movie. Did you see that one? Not that cocksucker from that fucking thing you were showing me. How to build a murderer. Wasn't there a Fassbender in that fucking thing? How to build a murderer? What the fuck?

No, Ricky. No. Fuck. That was the making of a murderer. Making a murderer, he saw. Which is an actual documentary, Ricky. Cocksucker. That fucked those people over.

He got fucked over, though, didn't he? I think he got fucked over.. Fuck those people. He got fucked over though, didn't he? I think he got fucked over. A lot of people think he got fucked over. That's a long... One of the detectives,

you're right, his name was Fassbender. One of those crooked cocksuckers. So it's not the same dude then? No.

No, this is Michael Fassbender. This guy's an actor. Making a murder was fucking crazy. Did you see it? I didn't see the last part of it.

I'm fucking pissed. I am fucking pissed off about that. Anyway, not to get off track. See, and we think we have a hard time with Leahy. That guy is having a hard time with the fucking cop. Bedtime. That sheriff dude. They searched the trailer seven fucking times, and then on the seventh time, when everybody's over here, the crooked fella says,

Oh, hey, fuck, there's a key on the floor here. Holy fuck, how did we miss that? Seven fucking times. Fucking dirty cops are worse than fucking George Green. Dumber than George Green, which is hard to fucking believe. Fucking crazy. At least when we went to jail, we sort of did some shit. He didn't do fucking wrong.

Yeah, we're not, you know, I mean, we're not killing people and stuff, man. I don't want to kill anybody. But it just goes to show you, like, I thought about suing the cops here a few times. If I had them, they would have fucking framed me. I'd be in fucking jail forever. So I guess the learning lesson from that is don't sue your police department. I mean, it's hard to say.

Like, maybe the documentary, you know, is, you don't know exactly. It could be one-sided. But if it's exactly the way that documentary is and those are the facts, then he got fucking ripped. Yeah. He got fucking framed twice. Yeah, that's bullshit. See, it's a good thing that Lee's been fucking with us our entire lives

because he's been trying to frame us for shit for years, and we know what to expect. I mean, this poor fucker, you know, he just had it. This guy was out to get him because he ran his wife off the road or something. Yeah, it was a long story. I'm glad it's not the same fucking dude nominated for Academy Award. That wouldn't be fair. No, Ricky, he wouldn't get nominated for Academy Award.

He's not going to get nominated, man. For Best Actor when he's in a documentary. Oh, he should have from the way he fucking acted on the stand. Anyway, that's neither there nor where nor around the chair. What did you say, Ricky? What's that saying? It's neither here nor there or...

Here or where or around the chair. I forget how it fucking goes. Here or where or around the chair. That's neither here or where or around the chair. I forget how it fucking goes. Here or where around the chair. That's neither here or where around the chair. That is so fucked. But you know what? Okay, getting back to the Academy Awards. What does that say?

Eddie Edelman? Eddie. Who? Huh? Eddie Redmayne. Oh. Fuck. Your writing needs help. Eddie Redmayne. Oh. Fuck. Your writing needs help.

Eddie Redmayne. Creating needs help. Okay, but then there is good news. Supporting actor, we've got Sylvester Stallone. He's not black. No, but he's fucking, he's Rocky, man. He's being nominated. Oh, yeah, I know.

I think that's great, but we were talking about, you know, all the fact that there was no black nominees. There's none in the ladies either. There's none on the list here. This is so stupid, man. So nobody from Straight Outta Compton got a nod, which was fucking one of the best. Maybe they didn't put it in.

Concussion, Will Smith. That's another one they suited. You know? He didn't get nominated? No. Well, I mean, he's... Do you have to put your movie in to get nominated? No. Well, I mean, he's... Do you have to put your movie in to get nominated, or do they just nominate it for the fucking shits and giggles of it all?

I don't know how that works. Because maybe straight out of Compton, it's like, fuck off, we're not even going to put our movie in. No, I don't think they would have did that right now. The studio would definitely... You know what, okay, it's not about a color thing here, though, guys. It's like the best performance in a movie, and I think... True. You know, straight out, it's not about a color thing here though, but guys, it's like the best performance in a movie and I think- True.

You know, straight out of Compton, unbelievable. No, I don't mean put them in just because they're black, that's not what I'm saying. But the fucking straight out of Compton, the acting in that, I thought was- It was incredible. Fucking- I didn't see concussion, don't know what to tell you. I don't know if Will was good or not, but- He wasn't very good in his last fucking movie. What movie was that?

Afterlife or whatever. Afterlife? was good or not, but he wasn't very good in his last fucking movie. What movie was that? Afterlife or whatever. Afterlife. Wasn't that what it was called? You know, when he crashed the spaceship and his little fella had to go on the journey? Oh, he had his son on that, too. Yeah. I did see that one. I heard that was fucked.

But will he be good in the next one? We'll see. Get it? Fuck, that was awesome. That's not that funny, Ricky. It's not that funny. Are we going to talk about some of the hot women that are also fucking nominated? All right.

Hit me with them. Okay. Cate Blanchett. You know what? Brie Larson. Jennifer Lawrence. So you think Cate Blanchett's hot? No, I'm just saying these are the people that were nominated. You also said something about let's talk about the hot women.

Oh, I think Cate Blanchett's hot as fucking, hot as spice. Cate Blanchett? Okay, would you, you'd want to bang Cate Blanchett there? Yes or no? I thought you said she was snotty and stuck up. Who did? Didn't you say that? I wouldn't know. I've never met the lady, but I'd like to.

Bang her? I never said that. Okay. But maybe. What about... Wouldn't rule it out. There's another one. Charlotte Ramplin. She was in Fortified. She's an older one. What do you think? I don't know who she is. I can't really it out. There's another one. Charlotte Ramplin. Oh yeah? She was in Fortified. She's an older one. What do you think of she, I don't know.

I don't know who she is. Can't really see her. There's a picture of her. Would you take some? I can't really see. Can you make it bigger? For fuck's sakes, bubs. I can't see. I'm sorry. Right there. Yes. You would bang her.

I can't see her that good. Well, you just said you'd bang her. I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. Isn't that right, crackers? Ah! I'm just fucking settled down. Get it? Yeah, but it wasn't that fucking funny.

Yes, it was. It was better than, well, he be any good in the next one. That was two sayers I made up today. Who's gonna win? Alright, yeah, let's finish this off by saying who's gonna win. Flip some, who's got a six headed coin? Actor in a leading role, who's taking it? Leonardo DiCaprio.

Leonardo, I think so. Leo. Actress in a leading role? Cate Blanchett. You didn't even so. Leo. Actress in leading role. Cate Blanchett. You didn't even look at the other ones. Doesn't matter. I didn't see anything.

I'm seeing Jennifer Lawrence. What was she in? She was in Joy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was... She might win, too. Best actor in a supporting role. Give me the names. I'll pick them.

Kristen Bale, Tom Hardy, Mark Ruffalo, Mark Rylance, or Sylvester Stallone. I'm going with fucking Rocky. He deserves it, man. Don't know. No. No. Okay. Actress in supporting role.

Jennifer Jason Leigh, Rooney Mara, Rachel McAdams, Alicia Vikander, or Kate Winslet. Who's taking it? Jennifer Jason Leigh? Was she the one from Rachel Adams is going to take it? Alicia Vikander or Kate Winslet who's taking it Jennifer Jason Leigh the fucking Tarantino Rachel Adams is going to take it Fast Times at

Fast High Times or what the fuck was it Fast Times at Ridgepond High was she in that yes she was Jennifer Jason Leigh

liked her in that one yeah I'm taking her Jennifer Jason Leigh I think she's going to take it alright that's my prediction anyway ours alright that was exciting

Wasn't that fucking amazing? We probably could have talked about this more closer to the awards Yeah, probably should Well, we'll just do it again We're just getting, you know I guess the nomin It's just nominees, man Nominees, thank you

Came out, yeah, so, okay It's good to talk with you It's a good time to talk with you I'm just going to leave you with one thought That's what's on talking about here, Ricky. Okay. Look at this. This is a fact.

You want to hear a fucked up fact? 20% of office coffee mugs contain fecal matter. What the fuck are you talking about? That's a fact. 20% if you went into a random office and swabbed their staff coffee mugs in the cupboards, 20% of them contained fecal matter. It's impossible. I bet there's lots of offices where there's no fucking, people don't even have babies. What?

What are you talking about? Isn't that what you said? There's like baby matter all over the fucking, there's coffee mugs? No, fecal. Fecal matter, Ricky. Fecal. It's shit. What? Shit poop.al. It's shit. What?

Shit poop. Shit. Fecal matter is poop. So they're saying 20% of coffee mugs contain... Probably on the handle, you know, because people... Well, maybe they could say contain poop. I wouldn't even read this story. Shit.

That's fucking disgusting. Well, yeah, people have to, you know, wash their hands more. That's the problem. That's the problem because they come out of the bathroom after they've been wiping, roaching around, and then they pick up the mug and there's fecal matter on the... Is it just on the handle or it wouldn't be inside, would it? Well, there's probably some cases where people are actually doing it in the cup. So what, you're fucking scooching your hands down your pants and itching and scratching

and grabbing and scooping and then you're what? You're gonna put in your own coffee or someone else's coffee? No, people are using the bathroom, you know. Some people take the coffee mug right in and set it on the back of the shitter, crank one off, wipe up, pick a cup of coffee up, go back out. It's fecal matter, man. It's fucked. People, even when you dry your hands, go back out. It's fecal matter, huh? It's fucked. People, even when you dry your hands, you know when you turn on the hair dryer?

Yep. You push the button and it blows air? That's what air it's sucking into use on your hands. Poop air that's floating around in the bathroom. Poop and piss air, I never thought about that. Unless maybe they have a poop and piss remover filter. So you're just basically blasting yourself with hot shit air. So next time we're at like a Mooseheads

hockey game or something and you're in the bathroom eating a hot dog with a beer, maybe you should eat the hot dog before you go in the bathroom.

Yeah, because it's getting just coated with fecal matter, man. Well, I'm glad you guys told me that and ruined my

bathroom experience forever in public. That's why I make my own fucking cups. Fuck coffee cups full of shit and piss and vinegar. I'd hate to see what's on your cups, man. Why don't you just, why don't you make a new one? That's pretty new.

Oh. 52 weeks. I don't think you've ever washed your hands after using the bathroom. Ever. You know what? Now I gotta use it. Wash your hands. I'm going to, but I got to use it, so.

All right, let's just end this fucking thing. Close up my nice new laptop. Give us a quick zoom in on this. Jucasa, thank you. We're going to get some money someday, boys. How much do I sell these for, I wonder? Two bucks a lighter. Ricky, not everybody can see.

Only the people on swearnet.com can see this. So you got to explain what you got in your hand there. I've got a store factory fucking lighter caddy with, I think it usually holds 50

and there's got to be, there's at least, there's 30 there for sure. Okay. All right. That's it. That's pretty awesome. That's it for today's podcast

smoke chicasa we'll see you next week where'd that come from guys I just downed that vodka and it gave me a fucking really good rush party time hundred fucking sixty six cigarettes this weekend buddy

you're gonna watch me put it back yeah Hundred fucking sixty-six cigarettes this weekend, buddy. You're gonna watch me put it back. Yeah!