Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 26 - Randy Acts Of Kindness

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Christmas comes early as Randy brings a basket of gifts for Julian and Bubbles... or is it just a ruse to peek at Julian's tits? Also: An argument about Spiderman, and Ricky's Cape Breton vacation with Orangie!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. All I'm saying is I'm just curious as to how you got shoe polish on your knob. That's all I'm saying. It just seems odd that it's on there. No, no, no. That's not what happened, man. I don't have shoe polish on my knob.

Ricky was just saying I did because he has shoe polish on his knob. Well, how did he get it on there? I don't know. He's talking about we were having some kind of a sword fight when we were drunk, but he's fucked because, number one, I don't lose my memory when I'm drinking like he does.

So, number two. Shoe polish on your knob with no explanation? I'm just saying, it's a bit weird. You talk to him about it. It's a bit weird. And fuck knows where he's... Actually, we're shooting something right now, Bob. Are we actually doing this right now?

Oh, yeah. Anyway, Ricky went to find him. He hid site up to the fucking Cabot Trail, which is up in Cape Breton. It's northern Nova Scotia, to try to find him, because you were an extra day late. So he thought you were attacked by a Sasquatch or something.

So he got all fucking freaked out. I wasn't anywhere near those things. Well, that's not what he thought. He got all fucked up with mushrooms the other night. And when he called, and it kept going up because of the reception, he thought it was the Sam Squarange or Sasquatch. Well.

Where the fuck he called? Sam Squarange just don't know how to use phones, first of all, so I don't know why he'd think that. Hey, guys. How's it going? Hey, guys. How's it going? Hey, Randy. What do you want? I don't like doing these.

Why would you do this? I love doing these. No, that's okay. This is another thing we got to talk about. When you go away on your little fucking trips, you don't get him to fill in, okay? It's better when he's not here. Well, thanks, Randy. He stinks.

I can smell you from here, Randy. I had a shower today. I used that Irish soap. I smell good. Yeah, but it smells like Irish soap on top of a set of sweaty balls. That's not my deal. You know what it smells like? Those York's meat pies you used to get at the IGA.

Yeah, after somebody ate them and threw them up. You fucking smell disgusting, Randy. I think you're smelling yourself, Julian. What? I think you're smelling yourself. Julian's got shoe polish on his knob and he doesn't know how it got there. That Ricky does.

Don't do that. That's not lubrication, Julian. What are you talking about, Randy? Unless it's the mink oil. If you use the mink oil, that'll work for you. Have you put shoe polish on your wiener before? No, mink oil. That sounds like, from what you just said, don't do it like you're worried about it.

What's mink oil? I've seen a few people that have tried it. What's mink oil? It makes your leather products nice and really smooth and keeps them... When did you put that on your wiener? Well, just for a minute or two. Sounds like a harsh chemical product. No, it's not.

Okay, that's good. Had to find that out. So what's up with the fucking basket of shit? Julian, I'm very happy to be here. And just in case you didn't know, this week, what's happening all this week, it's random act of kindness. Don't give me that bullshit.

It is random acts of kindness. And I... Was it a holiday now? Someone that wants people to be kind. So I got something just for you right here. There you go. Is that booze? What kind of booze is that?

That's some oil that you can use to... Avocado oil? Rub that on your tits, Julian. Put it on my tits. You're going to look... I feel like smashing this off your fucking... It's healthy. Avocados are healthy. I You're going to look... I feel like smashing this off your fucking face. It's healthy. Avocados are healthy. I know it's healthy

for I already drink this shit. And it's good for high heat cooking too, but it can also make it makes your nipples nice and firm and you can cut glass with those nipples, Julian. You know all about the oils. Yeah, and speaking of that, I also got you another gift, some shave cream here, Julian. Do you want to shave?

I'll shave your chest for you. I don't fucking use shave cream. That'll be my act of kindness. We got a little Julian? I don't use shave cream. I'll shave your chest for it. I don't fucking use shave cream. That'll be my act of kindness. We got a little razor. You don't use shave cream. I don't use shave cream. Why would you do that? Then how do you get your tits as smooth as a seal? Why don't you take your shirt off, Julian, and let me just have a little.

I'll just give you a little. There's no way you're as hairless as you present yourself to be. What do you mean? Look, I got a good razor. Two blades. Two blades. Two blades. I shaved. But I don't fucking use shaving cream.

I don't got money to spend on shaving cream. That's what I did. A random act of kindness, Julian. Okay, in my entire life, I've never used a razor. This is super clean. Why would I start? Actually, you know what? You can fucking clean shit with that stuff.

I'm looking at that. I'm going to shave your chest. You're not going to fucking touch me. I'm going to do it. Oh, and Bob's, I got something for you, too. You're not gonna fucking touch me. I'm gonna do it. Oh, and, Bubz, I got something for you, too. And by chest, he means balls. Look. Where'd it go? Look at this, Bubz.

Is that a hairy knob? No, but he would fucking get into it. Guns N' Roses guitar picks just for you, Bubz. You got those out of my shed. Well, I found them on the floor, so I picked them up and brought them here. Now you know where they are, because I know you like them. Oh, I knew where they were. They were in my shed. Well, I know them on the floor, so I picked them up and brought them here. Now you know where they are? Because I know you like them.

Oh, I knew where they were. They were in my shed. Well, I know you like playing guitar. I'm just trying to be kind. He owned already and gave it to him. All right. Oh, this is a nice gift, Julian. Look at this.

I know you like black shirts. Look at that. Why don't you put this one on? How the fuck is that going to fit my body? I'd love to see a little crop top. I think it's the perfect size for you, Junior. Of course you do, because you're fucking weird. Put that

on a little crop top. And it's clean. Yeah, it might show your belly button. Your navel would look good. So what dude did you take that from? Did you just leave it on your bed? I got it on sale. I got it down at the Sally Ann and I got it on sale. And I washed it. I used bounce sheets. Smell that.

I wonder how much load's been drizzled on that thing. Julian, that's a quality garment. Fuck off, Randy. That is, look, look at it. I think you should start wearing medium. That would make, you know, make your biceps look good, too. That's not even a medium. It is. It's a medium.

Child's medium. I think it's a good one for sure. And, Julian. Julian, I got you some briefs, too. Look at those. Do not ever buy me underwear. Your sausage will look great in there, Julian. Would you shut up, really?

Look at those, Bob. What do you think? You wear these tight, don't you, Julian? No, I would never buy anything that you fucking bought me. Kind of like superhero tights. Yeah. Julian. No. Oh, you don't you, Joe? No, I'm not. I would never buy anything that you fucking bought me. Kind of like superhero tights. Yeah. Julian. Oh, you don't wear underwear.

No, I, you know what? It's none of your fucking business. Commando. It's none of your business. Julian goes commando. That's great. And, Bubz, look at this. I got you some glasses cleaner

right there. Clean your glasses. That's mine. That was in my shed. Well, I thought you lost it. Nice gift, Randy. And, Julian, why don't you take your boots off? We've got some shoe polish here.

I'll shine your boots for you. That'll be my act of kindness. Make them nice and shiny. Look, I got a little brush here. He'd love to polish you up, boy. It's called spit shining. I don't spit shine. That's quality.

Look, and this is not mink oil. Right here quality, look. And this is not mink oil. Right here. That, oh it is. Oh, mink oil. I thought, I forgot. You wanna smell it? This is great. It's good.

Oh, don't forget your protein bars, Julian. See, this is just all things for you. All right, I will eat these. Protein drinks. I will eat these fucking things. Yeah, give me that. Muscle milk. This is great.

Oh, and bubs. Kitty toys. Look. Bunch of kitty toys right in there. Might be some catnip, too. They're all out of my shed, Randy. No, not all of them. I grabbed some from around the park that I found.

Well, they're all mine. That's wonderful. How dumb can you be? Some wargatorrapix. Well, you know what? I think it's nice to be kind, Julian. Those are mine, too. And tighty-whities. I wear tighty-whities. Those are for you, Julian.

Don't ever give me fucking underwear I snatched. Those are brand new. Brand new. Weird and clean, you know? No. What kind of a guy comes into someone's place and says, Hey, here you go. Here's some underwear for you. You're fucking weird.

That's not weird, Julian. It's pretty nice. It is. Don't be sticking up for him. It's pretty nice. It is. Don't be random. It's pretty nice. It's fucking tough. Is it weird? It's a random act.

How come you didn't buy him any? Well, I didn't. He doesn't need any underwear. How do you know? He's been going through your fucking underwear. No, I saw. I see he does his laundry. He hangs it on his clothesline right next to his head.

I think the bigger question is how does he know you do need them? And here's another question. Because he's been looking through your windows. How many times have you snipped his underwear? I don't sniff underwear. Well, you seem to know the whole fucking schedule of him cleaning his underwear. Well, I'm just saying, Julian.

You're a fucking crotch sniffer, man. You know, you would look so handsome in this. Let me see that fucking shirt for a second. No, no. I want to put it on for you. You take your shirt off first. I want to put it on. No, I know you're just going to rip it and throw it,

and I don't want you to be mean, because it's random acts of kindness. So why don't you try being kind? That's fucking weird. That's what it is. Try being kind, Julian. It's fucking weird, Randy. Julian?

You don't buy me shit like that. I mean, this is good. That's nice. This popcorn is my random act of kindness. I made that for everybody. Thanks, that's very nice. Nice, Bob. See?

You're the best friend in the world, Bob. You weren't there to hand Randy. You're fucking weird. Well, I'm sorry you think so, Julian. Oh, give me my shirt. So when's Ricky coming back? I don't know, man. He said he'd be gone for a while.

I mean, he should be home right now. I don't know. I'd say it's a four-hour drive to Cape Red from here, right? If you hitchhike in, he could be gone. What's his name, though, that he used to get the hash from? Lives up that way now. So, who knows? That's good. He'll have more hash.

Excellent. I'd say he's not going to be back until, you know, before Christmas. That's what I'm saying. Oh, no, he'll be back. By then. No, I heard, well, you were up,, you were up like what, Meat Cove? Is that the place? I wasn't at Meat Cove.

You were up by Meat Cove. I was up that way. Where's the big fucking Buddhist colony up there or something. Yeah. You know he's up there getting high with all these people fucking chanting shit right now. That's what he's doing. Where's Meat Cove? Right up the table.

When your mumps lags. Meat Cove. Alright, time for you to go, Randy. Are you done or what? He doesn't have to go. Why not? He can stay. We're doing the thing now.

All right, do you have anything fucking... anything to say here? Are you going to teach people something, Randy? You look handsome, Junior. Fuck off. You look so handsome. This is what I go through when you fucking leave and bite him. He's so handsome. This is what I go through when you fucking leave

and bite him. He's handsome, isn't he? He's so handsome. Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. You know, that's me being kind to you, Julian. All right, I got a story here. There's this dude, this fucking guy.

Where's he from? I don't know where the fuck. He's doing a marathon anyway. He's 50 years old, although the guy looks like he's about 70. He goes in this marathon, okay, and he lights up a fucking smoke. That's pretty hardcore, man. In the marathon? In the marathon.

Like, you were in a marathon once. Did you ever see anybody there lighting up a smoke? Junior high saw a guy, Danny. Danny was the guy who lit up smokes when he was doing the 1,500 meters. So what is it? Oh, he was in a sprint. No, no, 1,500 meters is not a sprint. That's what?

How many times around the track? Track's what? 400 meters? Oh, my God. 400 meters. It's more than 400 meters. So four times three is 12. Almost four times around the track.

No it isn't. The track's more than that. It's more than that. The 200 meters the fucking pretty quick little race but No it's once around I don't remember.

the fucking track. What? You know what Julian I did do the the 4x100 relay and we won junior high. Did you ever run?

Junior high and I I can run fast. Especially Randy. No you were running from Junior high, and I could run fast. Brandy. No, you were running from something else. That's not true. What were you using as the baton? A big salami fucking meat bat?

No, they were like aluminum. Aluminum. Anyway, this was a 42-kilometer fucking run. Here's Buddy. Fucking just lighting her up. Well, it makes them breathe easier. It opens up the lungs. 42-kilometer fucking run. Here's Buddy. Fucking just lighten her up. Well, it makes him breathe easier. It opens up his lungs. 42 kilometer fucking run, though, man.

You don't want to be smoking. It opens up his lungs, his airways. Did he finish the race? I don't fucking know. I don't really care, Randy. He died. It's not really a good story, Julian. It doesn't really have an end.

Okay, he won the fucking race, Randy, okay? And he smoked the whole pack. Then he went out and got banged and got married that night celebrating. Has three kids now. See, now that's a good story. I like that. That's a great story. Wow, that guy's amazing.

There's this other woman there. She actually, okay, she was trying to lose weight, okay? So she wired her fucking teeth shut herself. Couldn't get the fucking thing unwired. Jesus, Murphy. Imagine doing that. Now that is fucked. I saw people with braces that used to have their teeth wired.

Couldn't really ease. And? The end is they got the braces off. And what else happened? Then they had a nice smile, just like yours. You know how many fucking people had given everyone a smile, Jimmy? This is not teaching anybody.

Give me a smile, just smile. Fucking Jesus. See your smile and I can see your teeth. Because I got edibles in me. That's the only thing that's making me smile right now. That's good, that's good. Hit him for me, bubs. Would you fucking hit him or something?

He's got control of your mind. Julian's on edibles, his eyes are gonna go whoop. Oh my fuck. Give Julian this fish, he likes fish. What are you talking, I fucking hate fish, you fucking piece of shit. Anyway, here's another one. You know what? I must admit, we've been talking about how stupid cops are.

A lot. Throughout our lives. George Green. All right. Yeah, he's real dumb. He's really stupid. The dumbest cop on the force, Mr. Leahy, you always said. All right, there's a cop fucking task force in Lima.

What they did this Halloween, because there's a bunch of fucking criminals out there stealing kids' candies and shit like that. Yeah. Just doing all kinds of shit. So the whole fucking group of these cops, they disguise themselves as the superheroes. Like Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Catwoman.

And it's called Operation Marvel. And they arrest the fuck out of people. That's smart. He isn't. That's a smart fucking thing to do. You know what? They should do it the entire year. Vigilantes.

What? They're vigilantes, right? No, they're not vigilantes. They're cops. Oh, they're dressed up as superheroes. Oh, my God. I'm glad you were fucking paying attention, Randy. They're cops, Randy.

They're cops. But they're dressed up as superheroes so they could get near criminals. Because you would never think a cop was dressed up as fucking Captain America or Thor. Or Spider-Man. Or Spider-Man or whatever. I used to dress up as Spider-Man all the time-Man or whatever. I used to dress up

as Spider-Man all the time. I like that cartoon, the old original way back when. What did you like about it, Randy? Tell us.

I liked how he used to, just the way he came and spun his web through the buildings and he'd come right through the screen on the TV.

Stiff one. What was the name of his boss? I don't remember his boss. Who's boss? Spiderman. Peterman? No. No, he was Peter Parker. Oh, yeah, that was Peter Parker.

It wasn't Lex Luthor. That was Superman. That was Superman. No. Nemesis. Keep guessing. Keep guessing. I know it. Geez, you watched it an awful lot, did you, Randy?

I just forget. I was looking at Spider-Man's package the whole time. He did have a nice little Speedo. That's why I got you these, Julian. I was just joking. You actually did. See, now, look. I don't know.

Is your unit too big to fit in those, Julian? Why don't you go in the bathroom and jerk one off with smelling your little crotch-y briefs over there? Those are quality. Look. Logo right on the front. So who'd you get those underwear from? I'm not going to say.

So they were actually, they're used. Those are Mr. Leahy's. He did have a pair of black, but he would like you to have them. I know he would. I'm not fucking wearing one of Leahy's old fucking shitty garments. You would. I know you would. Why would you know I would?

Because you need support, Julian. Good bobs. Can you punch him in the face for me, please? I'll give you 50 bucks. No, I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying the banter. What was the guy's name in Spider-Man? His boss's name was Don Scully.

I don't remember that. No, it wasn't. He was the editor of the newspaper? Spider-Man's boss. No, it wasn't, man. Don Scully. J. Jonah Jameson or something, wasn't it? J. Jonah Jameson?

No, J. Jonah Jameson. That's a rum, Julian. Or no, whiskey. That's what that is. That's not rum, Julian. Or no, whiskey. That's what that is. It's not his fucking name. Where did that name come from? J.J. Jonah Jameson? No, not J.J. Jonah J. J. Jonah Jameson.

Now I've got to fucking look this up. J. Jonah Jameson. It was Don Scully. Are you serious? Yeah. Don Scully sounds good. Don Scully. He had a brass cock.

That was... Nice head of hair on him. Where are you fucking... Bubz. J.J. Jonah Jameson. No, not J.J. Jonah. I fucked that up because I don't really know. Oh, yeah.

At the Daily Bugle? Yeah. J. Jonah Jameson was his fucking name. Right there. That's the guy. I don't know what J stood for, but it was J, not really John. Don Scully.

This was not the boss. Don Scully was the boss. This guy worked for Don Scully. What the? Where the fuck did Don Scully come from? Don Scully. What the? Where the fuck did Don Scully come from? Don Scully. That's a good name. The head of the Daily Bugle.

Don Scully. I'm looking this up, man. Yeah. Donald T. Scully. His name was. Do you remember the super hour or whatever? Wonder Twin power? Yeah.

Right, they had the rings? Yeah. You know, they activated and one could form a bucket and the other one, I forget, water? Remember? Yeah.

One was a bird and the other one was a bucket of water or something and they flew around. Yeah. And that was weird because Aquaman had the blonde hair, and then the last Aquaman was that big guy from Game of Thrones.

Bob's man. He had black hair. There's no Don Scully, dude. Yeah, he owned the whole media company. Jim Scully was a trained soldier who was convicted of the accidental murder of his brother who attacked him with a knife while high. No, this is a different guy. Don Scully owned the whole media company that the Bugle was part of. Oh, and the radio station, CJZY.

He owned all that stuff. Yeah. He was way higher up than J.J., James, and Jonas. The sheriff of Babylon. Nope. I don't know, man. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm like...

Have a chip, Randy? Oh, yeah. I need some more edibles. That's very kind of you, Bubz. See, that's an act of kindness, Julie. You can learn off Bubz. Shut the fuck up. I'm still trying to figure out this Scully shit.

All right. I don't believe you, Bubz, because I'm not finding anywhere, and I don't know what you're talking about. Well, the computer doesn't know everything. You're starting to sound like Ricky. Don't depend on the computers all the time, Julian. You know what's fucked? Did he take Orangey with him?

He took Orangey on the trip with him. No, he didn't. He did. He took fucking... There's no aquarium. At least it's not in a bag, but he took the whole fucking thing with him. Jesus Christ. Because I have a story here about fucking Goldfish. Shh.

Randy? Fuck. All right. Goldfish? Randy? All right. I'm trying to teach people some shit here, Randy, you fucking wingnut. Goldfish can distinguish the music of one composer from another. Don't know how the fuck that happens. And I think we've talked about this before, but it would have made sense to talk about it if fucking Orangey was here.

I believe that. How? What are they going to do? Like, we'll fucking dance around to one and not the other? No, but they could... They, you know, different patterns. They're hearing it underwater, don't forget, so it's going to sound different. I never thought about that.

Well, who did the one... What's that one? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dun. Beethoven, you dumb fuck. That's Beethoven? Yes. See, they definitely could know that one because of the bass. I'm gonna fucking kill you, Randy.

You're just like a little kitty, Julian. He's got lightning-click-click-click-click-click. I'm so mad, but the animals are making me smile about this shit for some reason. I don't know why. He's got control quick. I'm so mad, but the animals are making me smile about this shit for some reason. I don't know why. He's got control of your mind. He does not, man. Julian!

Look at me. He's got control of your mind, Julian. That's your friend, your new friend. Didn't know this. We were talking about Spider-Man. Did you know that spiders recycle their webs by eating them? Yes! Yeah. Everyone knows that. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Did you know that spiders recycle their webs by eating them? Yes! Yeah.

Everyone knows that. Spider-Man. When you break the web, they go and they coil it all up. And they spin it out their butthole. They eat it. And spin it out. The web. Yeah, Spider-Man used to eat most things that come out of his body.

They didn't show it because that was like in the lab. Spider-Man was a dirty bastard. He would eat anything that he spewed out. Are you serious? Yeah. And then he put it back in the web? See, like, I watched Spider-Man a lot when I was a kid. I don't remember any of this shit.

Episode 27. 27? Episode 27, Spider-Man re-ate a bunch of stuff that he spewed out. Makes sense, you know. It was only aired once, and then it went censored, but I had a copy of it. Did you guys know that, uh, Randy, so help me fuck, Back to the Future, The Time Machine, which is the DeLorean movie, the first script that they wrote, it was an old refrigerator.

I did know that. Did I mention this to you? See, this is... It wouldn't have been nearly as popular. No, kiddin', man. The only reason I watched the fuckin' thing was because there was a wicked car in it. Yeah. So that was a good move. So what do you mean?

The refrigerator got up to 88 miles an hour? Oh, my fuck, Rean. I'm sure they... There were some revisions that the fuckin' thing wasn't speeding down the fucking road. They put wheels on the refrigerator? I'm so goddamn fucking dumb, man. There's no flux capacitor in a refrigerator, Julian. Maybe there was. I don't fucking know. I bet you it was the refrigeration. It's probably a problem for them.

Well, you would need a really long extension cord, wouldn't you? Well, Meredith McFly was not that tall, so he could probably fit into the refrigerator, but Doc was big. He was tall. Remember? He had, Doc had eyes like this guy.

Look. He'd be like, 1.21. My freaking J-R's a jig of guts. Remember that? My gut had jig of guts. Freaking J-Rock. I like Doc, though. He's pretty funny.

Well, I don't know what to say, man, but I can't deal with Randy anymore, and I don't think we're going to talk for the rest of this bad. No, no, we've got to keep talking to Randy. We're not going to talk about a fucking thing. And if you keep that up, Randy, it's gonna go right up your fucking arse.

That's exactly what he wants. He's right inside your mind. I'm gonna stab you in the eyeball with it. It's a little, there's not much girth. He would love you to pin him down and look to eat him a helicopter. Don't you like it? He would love you to pin him down and drive him a helicopter. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait for Ricky to get back. I can't fucking wait, man.

I'm just being a little silly today on random acts of kindness. Weak. I'm just trying to be kind to you. I've told you you're handsome. The glasses look good. Your hat looks good. I brought you nice clothes. I'm going to leave them here. I don't want you be kind to you. I've told you you're handsome. The glasses look good, your hat looks good. I brought you nice clothes. I'm gonna leave them here.

I don't want you to rip them up. I'm gonna break the law today, Pubs, just so you know, so I could- No, you're not. I might end up in jail today. Yeah, I swear to fuck. When this buzz on goes, I'm gonna figure something out. Los Angeles, shoot.

And I'm going to jail for, at least until Ricky gets back. Holy fuck, a wood frog can hold his piss for up to eight months. Yeah, we knew that. How come these things like... All right. A frog? Yeah, man. See? Edibles. What kind of frog?

Wood frog. Can hold his piss for eight months. See, you know what? I don't understand. There's companies out there that make this new kind of candy that comes out. They're making a fortune. Like, why can't I figure something like this out? What kind of candy?

Taste the emptiness. The Japanese fucking company launches a flavorless candy. And people are buying it. Yeah? That apparently tastes like emptiness. Like your soul? Right now, because I would seriously consider fucking murdering somebody right now.

I'd be going to jail for the rest of my life. No, you're into self-help, Julian. Come on. No, I'm just pissed off, because you can make a fucking candy that tastes like nothing, and you can become a millionaire, and me, I work my ass off my entire fucking life, and I don't have any money. You're making the most delicious candy there is, not making a penny. Well, I'm not making delicious candy, but I'm not making candy that tastes like nothing. Randy would disagree.

Let's start making cookies then. We could sell them in the park. Cookies. The last fucking thing I would ever do is make cookies with you, Randy. I make a really good ginger molasses cookie. Why don't you go make some? Well, I don't have molasses. Yeah. Making cookies with you,

I'd fuck you. You'd probably put some kind of drug in it that'll pass out. I got molasses in my shed. I have molasses all over your tits. Oh, I'd like some. You want molasses on your tits? No, that's what would happen if I was cooking molasses cookies with them. Molasses is pretty sticky, Julian.

If you get it on your tits, it takes extra long to lick it off. See? Like, why would you say that? You know that's gonna piss me off. You're the one that brought up molasses on your tits, just to be fair. He brought up mol that brought up molasses on your tits, just to be fair. He brought up molasses.

Cookies. But not on your tits. Well, that's correct. He didn't say that, but I'm saying that's what he would say. You put it in his head. Now he's gonna fixate on it. All right. Do you know why?

I want you two to shake hands. I'll shake hands with you, Julian. I've been using a new type of hand cream. I've got really soft hands. And then you get this other fucking guy from Indonesia. He's the Playboy King. He's been married 87 times to 46 different women. Like, this guy.

This guy is getting married. Like, I'd like to settle down one of these days, but you get this fucker. He's like, yeah, you know what? I'm going to settle down fucking 87 times. With 40 women? 46 women. So he married them twice?

I don't know. I don't fucking know, Randy. The math doesn't add up, Julian. That doesn't make sense to me. Well, he basically did marry probably a couple more, a bunch of them twice. I want you, I have to go to my shed,

but I want you guys to shake hands before I go. Let's hug it out, Julian. Hug it out, Randy. Go hug him. I feel pretty good. I'm clean. And I also got some nice shampoo for you, Julian, for your nice thick hair. You know what? Shut the fuck up, Randy.

Don't give me anything else. Oh no, it's lotion. You never want anything. That's lotion, Julian. Oh, champagne. Whoops, it's lotion. I thought it was shampoo, but it is lotion. Don't give me that shit.

Coco Radiant. These are probably drugs. This is probably fucking drugs. You know what? That's your new nickname. Coco Radiant. That's a good one. And that mink oil I was telling you about is a fucking rough. That's, you know what, that's your new nickname. Coco Radiant. That's a good one. And that mink oil I was telling you about is a good oil.

He likes putting chew polish on his hair. It's true. Oh, yeah. These ones are good. You can always get your shoes done. You know what, boys? Real quick with those. You guys can play with all the shit that he bought.

You can have it. No, you're shaking hands. No, I am leaving. Punch it, Julian, punch. I'm gonna punch you in the fucking face. Just give him a fist bump. Not a fucking act. It's one act of kindness.

Julian, you just made a mess. Ricky's not gonna be happy. For Christ's sakes. Love you, Julian. He's some handsome, isn't he? Randy, you really pushed your fucking limits today. Well, you know what? Sometimes Julian has to really be forced to act nice and kind.

Well, I think you need a new technique. Okay. Well, I'll work on it, bubs. Say bye to everybody. See you later, alligators. To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.