Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 27 - Adam Baldwin

Episode Date: February 4, 2016

This week's special guest on the Trailer Park Boys Podcast is Canadian rocker Adam Baldwin! They chat about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, attempt to explain Groundhog Day to Ricky, and discuss 3D vagina art. Ricky also tries to do a greasy business deal... live on air!   Episode 27 is brought to you by Jukasa vapor products!      

Guys, this is really, like, fucked. Can we... Let's hurry up. Yes, no, we're... We are going, correct? Okay. We're going, okay. What's going on, fuckers? Podcast. Trailer Park Boys.

Official podcast. Which number? Podcast. I don Park Boys. Official podcast. Which number? Podcast. I don't fu- It's 27. Podcast number 27. Very excited. Very excited to have a guest in the studio today. Fucking one of the best rockers I've ever seen live. Right there, Adam Baldwin. Welcome.

Uh, thanks, uh, for having me. Well, yes, we're very- I'm very excited to have you here. I'm a big fan. People that don't know, I mean, this is going all over the world right now. He is fucking awesome. Very good. Thanks, Bubs. I don't want to start shit with you, but I think you've got a bit of a man crush on him as well.

I'm, just by the way you're dressed today you're trying to what are you what does that look Axl Rose is that what you're trying to do? I'm not this is I just sometimes I dress like this. I'm not showing off. You never dress like that. The bandana, white t-shirt. I sometimes do. It's a good look. I hear that. He's a lot fucking cooler than you.

Maybe he's attracted to you as well. He thinks I look good. I Got my food. Did you see my boo those boots? Oh Those are perverse bubs. I will tell you Look at those those boots are fucked up. Those are rocker boots That's Sebastian Bach. I'm wearing those lady right now. They're like lady goth boots. Okay. Look here We can I wake him? Wake him the fuck up.

Ricky! Ricky. Mm-hmm. Get the fuck up. Mm-hmm. Here, Ricky, I need the lampshade. This podcast on, dickweed. You gotta support your own head.

It's coming out. Support your own head. Ricky. Just let it drop, man. It's just like playing Jenga. It's like playing Jenga with Ricky's head. Wake up, bud. Ricky.

Ricky, look who's here. Adam Baldwin. Hey, Rick. Holy fuck, man. How's it going? Hanging in, bud. What the fuck are you doing here? He's a guest.

We're doing the podcast right now. She's running. What the fuck happened last night? Well, you got drunk and I, again. Fell asleep on a lampshade. To excess, as they say. The fucking rum and cream soda pink ladies. You gotta watch those things, man. It's not a drink.

It's not a drink. It's not a drink people have. It's not very drink. Oh, God. It's not a drink. It's not a drink people have. It's not very good when it's flat. Rum and cream soda, huh? Where'd my lampshade go, man? It's right here. It's over here. You threw it down there.

Figured it last night. It's probably the best thing you could ever take on a fucking airplane, to have it down. Why? Well, you know, you can't sleep. You know, you're always moving and falling asleep at people. You took a lampshade on a plane. I thought it was so fucking comfortable, it's unbelievable. Ricky, what are you gonna explain to people while you're taking a fucking lampshade?

They're gonna think you're a lamp terrorist or something. Well, then we need to invent an inflatable one. And then you inflate it on the plane and you... look at that. Oh my god. Inflatable fucking lampshade, plane sleeper. and then you flayed it on the plane and then you... Look at that. Oh, my God. Flatable fucking lampshade plane sleeper. It's my new convention. Okay, we've got a guest here today, man. Okay.

Just try to take this a little more fucking seriously. Fresh podcast. I got a little fucked up last night. I haven't been drinking much. When I get fucked up, now I get extra fucked up. Rick, take a hit off the pipe there. Oh, that's what I was...

Did I ever get this done? I was trying to fucking... They got these recipes here with what to mix with what to give different flavors, but... It's awesome. Can we get on with the guests? No, no, just a second. We have a guest here. Just a second. Adam with pictures. We've got time to talk about him.

Tecasa, they sent me this nice little menu. You can... I didn't know this, but you can take these things, fucking throw them in together, blend them up, and you've got, like, you know, lemon blast and summer tea shit. See, but how do you, that's what, I know, it's awesome. And it's called Arnold Palmer. It's, like, fucking great shit. See what's going on here?

Julian made a fucking deal with these people for sponsorship, but he won't admit it. And I know he's getting paid. How do you figure this the fuck out? Pedaling robo-darts? Yeah, that's it, just say, you know. Strawberry dreams. There we go, that's good.

All right, Ricky, how long have you been working on this? I was trying to fucking get some smoke in my lungs last night before I passed out. It's in Japanese, Ricky, that's why you can't. It's written in Japanese. Well, that's why you can't... It's written in Japanese. Well that's why I couldn't figure it out. Why did they send us this then? It's like those little pictures. Here's the menu.

Just blend away. Here. My publicist begged me not to come here today. Your publicist said not to come here? He begged me not to come here. See, boys, like he's gonna get in shit. His publicist warned him not to come, and now he's been here. We haven't even fucking talked to him.

You've just been paddling your wares. No, no, listen, you guys got your show to do, I understand. I'm sorry, I apologize, I apologize. Is it a man or a woman? It's just ridiculous. Is it a man or a woman that you promise not to come for? Just joking, man. Ricky.

All right. So can we talk to him for a minute? You guys fucking go nuts. I'm going to blend away. So what have you been doing? What have you been? Oh, well, bubs, I've been sort of back and forth between here and Toronto, making a new record. Decent. Yeah.

Like in a real studio. A real studio. Yeah. With, you know, microphones and amps and. Decent. Yeah. Like in a real studio. A real studio, yeah. With, you know, microphones and amps and... Decent. All that stuff, yeah. So is it done? It's done. It's being mastered right now as we speak.

Mastered. That sounds... That sounds technical. Yeah, I mean, I don't understand it exactly. So who plays on it? Is it all you? I play on it. I have Josh Traeger from the Sam Roberts Band playing drums.

He's a good fucking dude. And a fellow from PEI named Brian Murphy. I know a Brian Murphy. Always. And it's produced by a fellow named Liam O'Neill who has just joined maybe the biggest rock and roll band on the planet. He plays with the Kings of Leon. No fucking way. And he produced your record. He plays with the Kings of Leon. No fucking way. Yeah. And he produced your record.

He produced the shit out of it, I have to tell you. When's that coming out? Mid-April, I'm hoping. Oh, I can't wait to fucking hear that and rock the fuck out. But it's done, done, is it? It's done, done. It's all done. There's no more room if somebody wanted to add a guitar part, you know, say.

Bubs, you missed the boat. I hate to tell you. Oh, I mean, they can. Listen. It's amazing what they can to tell you. Oh, I mean, they can... Listen, there's... It's amazing what they can do these days. No, no. It's... All right.

It's done. Well, you're not playing on my new record either. We'll talk about that. Bubz, if you want to end up playing his record, you said, yeah, you'd totally go for it. It's a little bit more of a deal to play on his record, though, Bubz. You're just Bubz, right? No, I'm not.

I wouldn't say that. Ricky, I wouldn't say that. Ricky, I wouldn't say that. Well, it's true. I cost a little bit of money, Bubz. I wouldn't want to put you out. I wouldn't be able to afford it. I wouldn't want to put you out. I just thought maybe you might want to, you know,

because you're hurt. We'll talk. So we're going to wait until April? Do you have any secret copies that we could get before then? Ricky, you're not stealing the man's record and selling it on eBay. I know that's what you think. Ricky, I've heard about some of your less than legal exploits, and so it's in my best interest perhaps to not give you an advance copy of the album.

Given the state of the music industry, I'm sure you understand. I completely agree. I'm going to hold off if that's... I completely agree because he would be fucking down there. Hey, give it to me.

How long has this been fucking going on? Let's do it once and we'll just, you know... You're quite an entrepreneur, Julian. Answer your fucking phone. Ricky.

Just wait. Ricky, what, you got an old pager there? It's for certain businesses they still work pretty good for. Well, why don't you answer your phone? Where is my fucking phone? I don't know.

Anyway, what were we talking about? Sorry, guys. We were talking to Adam Baldwin about his new record. That he won't give me a copy of it because I may or may not try to sell it. That's sort of my concern, yeah. Pretty smart guy. Well, thank you. All right, we'll wait till April, I guess.

What's the record called? It's called No Telling When, Precisely 1985. It's a mouthful. That's the whole... That's the whole thing. There's brackets. Brackets, Ricky. How high were you when you came up with that?

That's neither here nor there. No telling when. Precisely 1985. It's sort of a play on that. I'm going to figure it out. I promise you that. Okay. He will, too.

He'll come up with nine or ten theories. I wish him luck. That's what that means. So I just want to ask you one thing. Because I've always, you know, considered myself a bit of a rocker. Sure. You know, but I haven't really got to do it the way you do. Like, when they talk about rock and roll, they're always saying sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Sure. Is that real? Like... Uh, I could tell you, Bubz, but I would... I'm sort of bound by a sort of code of ethics that won't allow me to discuss that too much further. But there's some truth to it. So yes is what he's saying. I can neither confirm or deny. Doing drugs and doing it.

Playing rock and roll. Nothing wrong with that, man. Just like I thought. It's great. It's a living. I have played with Guns N' Roses, though, so. Just like I thought. It's great. It's a living. I have played with Guns N' Roses, though, so I mean, I got to... You must know quite a bit about that then, buddy.

Yeah, I got to see a few things that would freak you out. In Japan. Where's it coming from? There's my fucking phone. Ricky, what are you doing, man? Nice voice. That's not nice. Taped up my fucking phone close, did you?

Hold the fuck on, I'm coming. He can't hear you, Ricky, if the phone's not answered. Did you tape up his phone, bud? I didn't tape up his phone, Jesus Christ. Here. Why would you tape your phone shut? Hello? Ricky, should I come back?

No, no, I won't accept the fucking charges. Ronnie, I know you can fucking hear me. Find some fucking quarters and call. I'm not paying for your fucking call. Call me back, you fucking idiot. Ricky, we're in the middle of a fucking interview. Yeah, well... We're gassed and you're getting calls. Well, I'm trying to acquire some things to make some things.

Ice and propyl alcohol. And Ryan supposedly has some, but where the fuck is Ryan? Missed him for two days. Now he's calling to say, hey, can you accept the charges? No. Anyway.

Well, then he's in jail. Well, we'll find out, won't we? Fucking idiot. Why didn't you tell me about this shit, man? How much are you trying to get, Rick? You're trying to make oil, aren't you? Huh? Are we allowed to talk with Don on this?

I don't give a fuck. How much did you order from the guy? Boys... I don't know, if he's gonna be doing this shit... He's gonna gas this shit up and about leaving. No, no, I'm... I'm... How much did you order, man? A lot. What, like a barrel?

Not quite a barrel, but... Jesus Christ, Rick. ...over a half barrel. Of isopropyl alcohol? Isopropyl, yeah. It's not isopropyl. It's one word, isopropyl. It's a scientific term.

Well, all I know is you need that stuff. It works great, and Ronnie better fucking come through for me. How much are you trying to fucking make? Well, if the Canadian government does end up legalizing stuff which they're talking about, then I've got to make a lot of money before that happens, don't I? So, here we are. What do you call that? I'm in on it, so...

Well, we'll see. Tell me what's going on. Okay, boys, look. Going to the official page here. Let's talk about something good, man. Groundhog. Oh, my fuck. Groundhog Shadows just happened.

When was that? On Tuesday? I think so. And it's not Pancake Tuesday. That's something different, right? Like, do they have the pancakes to celebrate the hedgehog? Pancake Tuesday's on the same day as Groundhog Day. That's what I'm asking you.

Pancake Tuesday's any Tuesday, Ricky. Groundhog Day is on February 2nd. And it's horse shit, the whole fucking groundhog thing? Okay, well... It doesn't make any sense. No, they're fucking dumb. They said this year a fucking hedgehog rocks out of his house, sees his shadow, and that means there's going to be more winter.

Makes no fucking sense. Well, Ricky, it's not a hedgehog, first of all. Beaver. It's a groundhoghog, first of all. Beaver. It's a groundhog, which is a giant squirrel, basically. Okay. That's why I only use a squirrel. Probably smirking a fucking hedgehog, groundhog. What I don't understand is if he sees a shadow, it means it's fucking sunny.

He'd be like, holy fuck, it's party time. Spring's here. No? No, Ricky. He comes out. If he sees a shadow, he gets freaked out. He's scared of his shadow. He's like, oh, fuck this.

I'm fucking out of here. So he goes back in and then it's actually kind of fucked because it's not weather related at all. He's just scared of his. But if he comes out and it's cloudy and there's no shadow and he's not scared, he just chills. And then that means spring's coming early. But I know what you're saying. It is kind of. But it doesn't make any fucking sense, man.

What is that, the Shubinakity Sam? That's the groundhog? Yeah, Shubinakity Sam. Well, he's only been right fucking like 37% of the time. So it's horseshit. Because they're doing it backwards. So what Ricky's saying makes sense because then he'd be right. 78% of the time.

He'd come out and see his shadow and be like, it's fucking prairie time. He wouldn't be a pussy going, oh, fuck, what's that little thing there? It looks just like me, but it's black or gray. But it's not just him that decides. There's fucking groundhogs everywhere. There's lots of Tony Fellers. That makes even less more sense. There's hundreds of them all over the place,

and they all somehow communicate, I believe. All right, so we've got a hedgehog here in Nova Scotia. Hedgehog out in Alberta. What do you think about the hedgehog fucking scenario? Guys, I just think we're all reading too much into it. It's something fun for mothers and fathers to take their kids. They watch a groundhog come out of the ground. It's something fun to do.

So it's not scientific. There's no science, I don't believe to suggest that they can accurately predict the weather. It's just fun to take your kids to see a hedgehog, guys. Lots of fun. It's a groundhog. It's a groundhog. I'd like to know who in the fuck came up with it.

Some little cocksucker was probably hungover. Sun's coming up. Sees this little fucking beaver animal come out of its hole. And I guess it's sunny out. Cocksucker looks and sees a shadow against a little tree, and scared shitless runs back in its hole, and that's how this whole thing started, maybe? Just a guess. That's as good a guess as any, really.

It's fucking dumb. You know what? You're onto something. If it's a good time, and that's why we're going to celebrate it, we could make some fucking money off it. We could go find a fucking groundhoghog set up like a little old side bar get some poles some ladies dancing around spinning around like crazy come on why don't we just fucking dress Randy up like a groundhog we could do that

dress Randy up start taking lots of bets and shit I guarantee it we salad as you know the world's biggest groundhog. I'll make up with ten grand in one day. He'd probably be scared of a shower. Pansy. No, but Ricky, we could just tell him, you know. We get people to bet, right, you know? Get the betting going, then we review it and see what we're gonna make the most money at,

and then tell Randy either, you know, stay out or go back in. Sort of. Not really the spirit of the day, but I suppose if you wanted to. The spirit of the day. It's going to be about making money from now on. So is it like the one day of the year that the entire world has the same weather? That's the other thing.

What if Hedgehog Billy Jong is in fucking Alberta and it's sunny there, and then Hedgehog fucking Big Wang in Nova Scotia, it's cloudy. It's going to be a different answer. Yeah, it is. I mean, I think that goes back to what he's saying. There's no science.

Who gives a fuck? Okay, so that's what people have to say. Fuck what the groundhog says. Let's just take our kids out and enjoy it. And party. All right, I'm in. I'm going to take baby Mo and watch little hedge ground beaver hogs.

Alright. I think we fuckin' figured that one out pretty good. I think we did too. Who wrote this out? Cause I don't know what this means. It just says 3D vagina. 3D vagina. 3D vagina.

Do you know what that's all about? Is it like porn or? Sounds like a porno. I don't know. 3D vagina. 3D vagina. Do you know what that's all about? Is it like porn or? Sounds like a porno. I don't know. Oh, fuck, I know what it is. I wrote it. I wrote it, but I, oh, yeah, that's what it was.

This lady, I read online, this lady took a, somehow took a, you know, a scan or whatever you want to call it. Yeah. Of her lady parts, you know, with a 3D, you know the 3D printing they do now? She somehow took a scan, printed out her vagina. Awesome. You know, but then she scaled it up, made a kayak out of it,

and she's riding around in the ponds. What? It's true. I saw a picture of her. She's in a great big vagina boat, kayak, and she's paddling along. I just thought I'd bring that up because it seems... You're trying to tell me this is real.

It is real, Ricky. So could I do the same thing and turn it into a fucking submarine? Just unscrew the tip, jump in and... Why would you... Or a missile? We don't want to see that, man. I just don't buy into it. There's no way she's...

You could get the Irvings to build something like that, I suspect. I'm just thinking, like, so she has a little mirror and she's got her parts spread apart and she's looking at it

going, fuck. Make a nice little boat out of that. It's weird. I guess. I don't know. I think she probably did it more, like,

as an art thing, Ricky, rather than she really wanted a kayak and needed, you know, a new design. Yeah, man. I've got to see this. Where's your computer? Where the fuck is my computer? You fucking sold it, didn't you? Someone did. No, I didn't sell it, man.

Swearing I gave you that new computer and you fucking sold it. I know you did. I'll get it back. Jay Rock borrowed it. Well, then it'll be loaded up with pornography. So you want to print off a 3D... 3D unit. It's no more ridiculous than that. You could probably use it for a lot more things.

Water tower. Alconja ship. It's a great shape. A water tower? A vagina's not in a normal shape. Like, other than a kayak, what else would you build out of it? Well, that's a good question. A set of slippers?

Yeah. You could make vagina slippers. Absolutely. Why couldn't you? Bunk beds. It's a weird topic. Bunk beds would be nice. Nice. A hammock.

Nice little hammock. Parachute. It's all kinds of shit, boys. Parachute? You could build one of those, you know, like a pirate hat. Really, if you wanted to, you know, make it deeper and sink your head into the hole. There's a big hole in the middle is the problem with the parachute idea. Well, yeah, that's true.

That wouldn't be a very good parachute, Julian. I was just going to say something, but no, man. Not going to do it. Why? Just say it. Well, you know, the flappy things. Oh, boy. Stick them together.

Oh, my god. Here we go. Jesus. See? What the frick? What the fuck was that shit we smoked, man? I don't know. Talking about pussy canoes and dick boats and...

We've got to move on. Nobody was talking about a dick boat. No, you were. Oh, yeah, you were going to make a submarine. Yeah. Out of your 3D wang. Jesus Christ. That's a good idea.

But you said there's a lot more uses for that one, so what... What would you use that for, Ricky? Anything, you know, submarine missile-shaped. Depends how big you want it. You could make the world's biggest pin. I don't know what type of ink you'd fill it with, but... You're bird-shaped like a missile. I think so.

Isn't yours? No. Oh, man. Missiles are, you know, usually got quite a point to them, Ricky. I don't know. Well, it may not be pointed that much, but it's pointed enough that it would fly like a missile. Water or air.

Why not? Wow. This has been a weird one so far, guys. There's got to be something here. Do you have anything normal to talk about? Let's just move on to something else. Oh. It gets better.

Penis cloud. Jesus Christ. Why? Remember the picture you snapped? Yeah. Of the cloud? It did look a lot like a penis and balls. It did?

Well, one ball. It's all over the fucking internet now, Ricky. Shut up. People, I saw it on the Facebook. So it's not just me that finds that funny. No, it's getting shared all over. People, I saw it on the Facebook. So it's not just me that finds that funny. No, it's getting shared all over the place.

I saw that. Well, this one was really good because actually you could see the tip and it was obviously circum, circum, not circumvented, but circum, I know

it's a circum word. Jesus, Ricky. Yeah. And you could see that whole fucking thing like perfectly. It was awesome. Well, that's cool that people like that. See, you thought I was fucked, Bubz, and now you realize that... Oh, I didn't think you were fucked,

but I do now that you're talking about, you know, such detail in the cloud. You knew that it was circumstance. Circumstance. We've been talking about 3D cocks and vaginas, penis clouds. What else? Let's just get off the whole cock talk. Well, the ground... Okay vaginas, penis clouds. What else? Do you have anything?

Let's just get off the whole cock talk. Well, the groundhogs. Okay, well, you go. You fucking... I don't have my laptop, man. The groundhog, there's no penis or vagina talk with the groundhog thing, so... The whole thing hasn't been about that, at least.

No, what you've been actually saying has a great big cock on him. It's more than that. No, I'm just joking. I've never met him. There you go. Ricky. Where in the fuck are you, you idiot?

I've got to make this shit. I need what you have, dumbass. Oh, okay. Yeah. Just get the fuck back here, you stupid idiot. I'm up. Can you wire Ronnie 200 bucks? I'm not walk back here, you stupid idiot. I'm gonna... Can you wire Ronnie 200 bucks? I'm not gonna...

If I can find my laptop, I can, but I want it... You're basically doing a fucking drug deal. You're gonna have to call me back, but yes. I've got the hash. Alright, let's get the fuck back here. You won't get in trouble for this. We will sign a thing saying you had nothing. I'd appreciate that. Alright, I'll talk to him, but... I don't know what the fuck he's. You won't get in trouble for this. We will sign a thing saying you had nothing. I'd appreciate that.

All right, I'll talk to him, but I don't know what the fuck he's going to do with Bullseye. He's got a record coming out. He can't be involved in a fucking... Get him to text him all the information for the, you know... It's not easy to unload Ronnie. Who the fuck wants to buy... Rick!

Rick, tell him to text the information. We're fucking shooting something here. Tell him to text the information! Do you know how to text? Well, text him the information. Yes, sir. I'll call you back. We're fucking shooting something here. Tell him to text the information! Do you know how to text? We'll text him the information. I'll call you back. I've already talked to him about it. He doesn't want it. The fuck are we gonna do with Bolcom?

I'm an accessory to a crime at this point, I think. Hurry the fuck up, you dumbass! What did you say? What are we gonna do with what? Nothing. You said Bolcom. Ronnie fucked up. And he stole the wrong barrel at first. He's got the stuff now, but he stole the wrong fucking barrel of this bowl semen or some shit. I guess it's worth a lot of money, but what the fuck are we gonna do with that?

Ricky, that's on the internet too. What is? The stolen bowl semen. Ronnie stole it? I don't even know what you're talking about. Ricky, it's a story on the internet. It has to be erased then if it's a famous story. None of it happened. Ronnie didn't call me.

Ricky, that bowl cum that he stole, that's like the top 1% of the bowl cum in the world. Do you think you can unload it? Yeah, we'll make a lot of money. What the? Here, smoke that. Bull semen? What? Bull semen? Can you unload it? Ronnie stole it by accident instead of the ice and protein. Don't use the word unload, please, when you're that. Bull semen? Oh, my God. What? Bull semen? Can you unload it? Ronnie stole a barrel by accident instead of the ice and protein. Don't use the word unload, please, when you're talking about bull semen.

Like a barrel of bull semen. Julian, I saw it on the internet. It's, like, really high-end stuff. Like, it's worth about 50 grand, they said. You've got to be fucking kidding me. What do you do with it? You make shakes and shit, or? Oh, God.

Shakes? No, no. You use it to impreg shakes and shit, or? Oh, God. Shakes? No, no. They use it to impregnate the other, you know, the lady balls. To make all the best balls. I thought it might be some high-end fucking health fucking kick. Who knows these days?

Everyone's so weird. You make shakes out of it. That is deplorable. Deplorable. Adam Baldwin has a very extensive vocabulary. Deplorable. You don't hear that used a lot in every day. No, nor should you. Nobody knows what the fuck it means.

Well, you don't know what it means, Ricky. I do. It was excellent use of deplorable. It was excellent use of deplorable. It was to send troops over to fight people. That's deployment, Ricky, but close. Close. You fucking guys think you're so smart. No, not really. Just regular words.

So... What does Triskaidekaphobia mean, Ethan? What is it? Triskaidekaphobia. I remember that from when I was a kid, but Dad taught me. Triskaidekaphobia. It's a big word. I would say...

You're scared of something. Yeah. I'll tell you that much because I know the phobia part. I don't know what language it's from, but it's... Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of the number 13, man. See, look at that. I taught you guys something.

I'm stunned. I did not know what that word meant. Is that true? I don't know. My dad told me, so There's a 50% chance. Julian, can you type in Triskaidekaphobia? No, I'm just looking up the bull semen prices. How much does bull semen cost?

That's what he's... That's what's just typed into Google. No, Julian, just look up stolen bull semen and you'll see the exact batch that Ronnie's got. Is that what you've typed in? How much does bull semen cost? Wow. That's what the Google's for. You can find those things out.

Or you can ask Siri. On the iPhone. Did you see that? No. Ricky, don't. I'll let him go. Answer it. I'm not answering.

I know who it is. He's fucking dumb. Julian, just type in store. No, no, guess what, boys? You can get $1,900 to $22 for a shot of fucking bull semen. So you're saying a shot, so... One load off. God.

No, but Julian... Look, it's Berger. Holy fuck, what? The stuff that Ronnie stole is on there. It's a new story, and it's worth $50,000. Okay, that makes it easy, then. Well, don't be saying it was Ronnie this and Ronnie that if it's real. It wasn't Ronnie.

It was Danny, uh, Corey Laheson. That did it. Don, it was just a name I used. I was like, hey, Ronnie. It was Ronnie Laheson. There it is. What else you got over there, Julian? You're right, man.

It's worth 50 fucking K. Holy fuck. Holy shit, man. Who do you sell it to, though? That's the tough part. Well, Ricky, you sell it to firms, people that are trying to make balls. It's got liquid nitrogen and shit in it, so it'll last a long time. How do they get it?

What? In a hard way. It wouldn't be easy to get, would it? No, it would not. They did a lot of jacking for that. But 50 grand, I wouldn't do it, but you could pay someone a thousand bucks to do that, I bet. 500 bucks. Corey and Jake would do it for almost nothing.

They'd do it for a piece of beer each. Have that one on Dirty Jobs or whatever for almost nothing. They'd do it for a piece of beer each. Have that one on Dirty Jobs, whatever that show is. That'd be funny. Well, it wouldn't be funny. It'd be kind of fucking gross, actually. It's probably been on there. Dirty Jobs. You were telling me about monkeys, that when monkeys are on movies and TV,

that they have to have these people go in and relieve them between takes. I never told you that, Ricky. I don't know where you heard that. Yeah, they're monkey fluffers, man. They go in and jack them off. Seriously. Apparently monkeys masturbate every four minutes. Plus they go in.

I mean, it costs a lot of money, I guess, to get monkeys in a scene of a movie, so you've got to jack them, chill them out, so then they don't fuck up the scene. You know a lot about this. I've read about it, man. Maybe it was you that told me. Maybe you did that for a job.

I didn't touch monkey fucking... You did work at the zoo in the summer that year. No, I didn't. What are you fucking talking about? You worked at the Shoeback. I did not. I did not work at the fucking zoo. I don't think they have any monkeys.

No, they don't have monkeys there. There might be other animals that need the same service. I don't know. No, I'm not doing it. Boys, we've got to get on this fucking, this bull semen, though. For that record, eh? She's coming out in April. Yeah, I mean, fine.

And it's nothing, the record has nothing to do with bull semen. No, no, there's no bull semen. Just so people are clear, there's no semen involved. Well, based on the other music I've heard of you, it's probably going to be kick-fucking-ass, and I can't wait to hear it. Oh, thanks, Rick. Thank you. I'm really proud of it.

How many songs? It'll be nine songs. Nice. Excellent. It's much better than eight. I'm going to get to play them one. No, you're not. He said maybe. A bonus track. It's a soft maybe. Soft maybe? Soft maybe.

All right. Soft maybe just made me... Oh, dear. Oh, my goodness. Get it? No. I'm still trying to figure out the name. I... I can't get it. I don't... Is it your birthday?

No. No, definitely. Ah, fuck. Double fuck. Your phone. Ah, fuck. Aw, it's not my... Fuck, double fuck. Your phone. Ah, fuck. Aw, Ricky. Fuck your phone up. Where did you get this phone, by the way? I left it for a while, man.

That's my old phone. I don't know. Did he send you the shit yet, or what? You stole... What's the number on the phone, Ricky? What's your phone number? You stole my phone. Rick, give me the fuck. Did he send you that shit yet?

This doesn't do text. Well, what the fuck did you tell him to send it to? Ricky, you told him to send it to your fucking phone. No. I asked him if he knew where to text. He said yes. He said text the information. Well, he's going to text it to this phone,

and that doesn't even have a screen on it. It does for the numbers. Yeah, no, he can't. He can't take texts on that. He can't read anything. All right, give me the phone. I'm going to call him back. All right.

All right, we've got to fucking go deal with some business. Let's do this. Just look at the fridge for a second. Zoom in, please, over the fridge. We're not, no. Jocasa. Fuck off, that shit. All right, smoke up.

I'm not doing any more Jocasa stuff until I know the deal and if I'm... You'll hear the deal, right? Now I'm gonna go try to set up a fucking deal. Alright, cheers man. Good luck in the... Hey, uh, thanks for the... What are they calling this? Yeah.

Cheers, boys. The menu? The Cinecherry. Pretty fucking good combo. I'd like to thank our guests for being on today. Adam Baldwin, sorry for... Hey, guys, listen, thanks for having me. Sorry it was a weird episode.

No, it was great, guys. Hope you learned some stuff. I learned maybe a little more than I needed to today. And the record, one more time, the name of the record. It is called No Telling When, precisely 1985. Yes, thank you. No Telling When, precisely 1985. Yes, thank you. No Telling When. It's a cool name.

I will figure it out. 1985. Adam Baldwin, everybody. Tune in next week. For what? Thank you.