Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 27 - Brown Friday

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

The Boys celebrate Thanksgiving... again! They discuss dirty big birds, the tastiest f**kin' pies, why plumbers are busy on Black Friday. Plus: The truth behind Snoop's smoke announcement, and the Beatle that rocked Ricky's look!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. A donkey with two wieners. What? You said you saw a donkey with two wieners. I? You said you saw a donkey with two wieners. I don't even remember saying that, man. When did you even see a donkey? That long moment with two wieners.

I've seen donkeys. I don't think I've ever seen one with two wieners. Yeah, but there's no fucking donkeys around here, man. Well, there's donkeys. Just gotta know where to find them. Holy fuck, man. How are the heads today, boys? After the, are we allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving?

I mean, we did, but it's not... It's American Thanksgiving. We can celeb... Yeah, let's celebrate it with the Americans, man. All right. People can pretend. So it's fine that I'm hungover today for Black Friday.

It's just an excuse to eat fucking turkeys and travel, and you could easily have a toffee... Okay....instead of a real turkey. A lot of, it's the busiest fucking weekend in the United States is Thanksgiving for traveling. Which doesn't make a ton of sense. I don't fucking understand, man. Busier than Christmas?

Why is everybody traveling to meet, like, they're going to see their families. That's a lot of fucking people, man. Have a nice dinner. Turkey dinner. See, the Americans do it right. They get Thursday off for Thanksgiving. Then Friday...

They get a four-day weekend. And we get fucking Monday off. I don't know anybody that travels when we have Thanksgiving. You know what I mean? We just... Because it's only three fucking days. It's lame. It's busier than Christmas.

Is it? Well, you just said it was. Well, that's what I'm saying it is, but I don't... Stop masking you. I'm fucked. We're fucking boys. I'm just... You've got to pump the brakes on the drugs.

No kidding, man. You know what? One thing I found about edibles, and I do like them, but they fuck up your brain, man. Like, Ricky, I can... You don't say. i can understand what's going on with you now man it doesn't make you smarter man it doesn't make you rewires your brain to be smarter boys i forgot a lamb was a baby fucking sheep i know that but i you know it's just that's

the fucking drugs man they're like boom i things. So, Ricky, we should do an experiment on you sometime. So it has nothing to do with the fucking gallons of booze you drink every day. Yeah, that has no effect on the brain. That kills those fucking brain cells. It's proven. Not like fucking edibles, man. Edibles, it's a body stone, right? So your brain is getting completely fucked.

Or it's getting a nice rest and getting smarter. There you go. Growing new capillaries. I can't believe you're on his side with this. I'm just being right up the center. It's not my side, bud. It's science. That's right. If it's a science thing, then I will back it.

I believe in science. Well, that statement that... See? Thank you. That should be a good, that would be a good T-shirt for you to wear, Ricky. I believe in science. I like it. What part of the science do you believe?

Just the really good stuff. Okay. I believe in science. It's a great T-shirt for Ricky to have. Wow. Or I don't believe in science. Great t-shirt for Ricky. Wow. Or I don't believe in science. That's even a better one. Or that's on the back.

I believe, wait a second, I don't believe in science. How about science can dot dot dot. Fuck off. Science can fuck off. Who says that? Ricky. Boys, can I just have a quick nap during the show? No, you can't.

A quick one. Yes. We got to discuss something here. We do. Because Snoop Dogg, what the fuck, man? He tricked a lot of people. Yeah, I don't buy into it. No, but it's true.

You don't buy into it. What do you mean? He's already said it. Conspiracy. No, no, no. Ricky, he's already come out. He's explained why it's not him quitting this. So what

did he say? He's endorsing a fucking smoke-free fire pit. And... Didn't you see the commercials doing the marshmallow and he's kicking it? No, I missed it. So explain to the people that don't know what's going on. Snoop Dogg announced... He's going smoke-free.

Did he say smoke-free? He said, I'm quitting smoking. he's going smoke free did he say smoke free or he said I'm quitting smoking he's going smokeless what do you live under a log if you don't know about this he's going smokeless which means

like everybody was talking about it and holy I even did holy fuck smoke no I'm just curious as to what the exact wording was

because it must have been clever fucking Jesus Bob Stork. Well, I'm just saying, let's get the facts straight. I wasn't prepared for this, man. Science. I wasn't prepared for this. We're all about science today,

so let's try to be accurate in our scientific descriptions. It's Science Friday. Science Friday. And everywhere you look at it, it's like, it's Taylor Swift and dude, football player. Kelsey. Kelsey, man. How do you know that, Reggie? That's pretty impressive.

I follow relationships. So you don't follow football. I fucking follow football. You're a Swifty man, aren't you? I was watching the fucking Chiefs game this week. A Swift? What's a Swifty? A Swifty is someone that, I think that's what they're called.

They're big fucking fans of Taylor Swift. I didn't even know that. So you're a bigger fan than I am. Are they bigger than Beliebers? Because that's what they're called. They're big fucking fans of Taylor Swift. I didn't even know that. So you're a bigger fan than I am. Are they bigger than Beliebers? Because that's what Justin's... I'm a fan of Travis and Jason Kelsey. There's nothing wrong with that. They're fucking great football players.

Who? Sounds like you've got a crush on them. Wait, you're a fan of who, though? They're fucking talented football players. Who? The Kelsey brothers. Oh. They played against each other.

I thought you called Taylor Swift Travis Swift. Fucking Super Bowl rematch. After much consideration and conversation with my family, I've decided to give up smoke. Please respect my privacy at this time. You're like, holy fuck. Decided to give up smoke. Smoke.

See, clever. He didn't say smoking. You're right, man. So did people analyze it and go, wait, he doesn't say smoking. He says smoke. Smoke. A lot of people did. A lot of people were basically high when they read it and went, no.

So he's still going to be smoking joints. Oh, fuck. He's smoking joints. He's just blowing them in his smokeless fire pit. Who the fuck wants a smokeless fire pit? Don't know, man. Unless you're around a bonfire and it's fucking windy out, then it sucks. It doesn't suck.

So he's really not changing anything, just where he blows the smoke. He's making money. I'm going to come out with a fire fucking pit that gives off extra smoke. An incredibly smoky fire pit. A fire pit that has a built-in smoke machine? That is way smokier than a normal one. See, I don't disagree. That might be really cool.

That's a party. Especially around Halloween. Well, actually, you could do a... Get the smokeless fire pit and then get a smoke machine. That's what I mean. Yeah, that's a good idea. Really fuck things up. So some people call this Black Friday.

It's also called Brown Friday. What? Yeah. Why Black Friday. It's also called Brown Friday. What? Yeah. I've never heard it called Brown Friday. Today is the busiest day of the year for plumbers. Oh. Brown Friday. After the fucking turkey.

Yeah. You got a lot of dirty turkey shits. Shits and sinks from fucking oil being poured down them and gravy solidifying. Yeah, coagulated gravy. People puking in sinks and toilets and shitting themselves. Are we saying that people in America, no, it's probably just the population, but people in America, they really fucking eat a lot on turkey. Wow, funny you mention that, Julian.

Okay. I got a couple facts here. Okay, I'd like to know how much these people are eating. Well, the average of about 46 million turkeys consumed yesterday. Holy fucking Jesus Christ. This is a fucking, this one kind of shocked me a little bit. All right. What do you think the average calories consumed per person yesterday is in the United States?

3,000. No, more than that. Five? 4,500. 4,500. That's a lot, man. 3,000. No, more than that. Five? 4,500. 4,500. That's a lot, man. That's a lot of fucking calories. Jesus, yeah.

That's the average. That's three days' worth, isn't it? So you've got some people eating like 1,500, so you've also got people eating like 7,000 at least. I think 2,000 is around the norm. Yeah, okay. You're eating twice as much. They're basically saying two and a half days' worth of food. Yeah. 2000 is around the norm. So it's, yeah, okay. You're eating twice as much. They're basically saying two and a half days worth of food.

Yeah. That's what it is. In and after. And that's in one meal. Yeah. That's not for the whole day. Because, I mean, there's, well, it's probably, yeah, it's probably leftovers. 50 million pumpkin pies. Pumpkin pies, apple pies, you got lemon rain pies,

you got fucking chocolate cake. Okay there, Baba Gum. Take her easy. Name off some more pies, Baba Gum. This is making me pie hungry. What types of shrimp did they have? Cajun shrimp. What's your favorite kind of pie? Shrimp.

You're learning shrimp on Thanksgiving days, man. I'm doing Baba Gum. Oh. Okay, you gotta do the voice a little Thanksgiving Day. I'm doing baba gum. Oh. Okay, you got to do the voice a little bit better. I can't remember the types of shrimps he named, though. I don't know, man. There was a lot of them. I don't eat shrimp. Shrimp are delicious.

What's your favorite pie, guys? Coconut cream. Coconut cream. No contest. Coconut cream or key lime. It's really fucking sour. Lemon meringue, man. Lemon key lime if it's really fucking sour. Lemon key lime pie that's so turd it makes your whole clench up.

Or an apple pie that's heated with some fucking ice cream on it. Strawberry rhubarb's not bad either. I like strawberry rhubarb. We're getting hungry, boys. We should fuck. We are definitely... We should go fuck the shit out of some stuff. Let's go to Swiss Chalet. Let's go to Hervey's. Do they have the festive feast?

I'm going to Hervey's. Oh, fuck. I will definitely go to Hervey's. I'm going to just drill a fucking Hervey's into me. You know what's insane? There's no Hervey's down south, man, in the States. Oh, yeah, it's Canadian. People don't know what the fuck they're missing, man.

Yeah, Hervey it's Canadian. People don't know what the fuck they're missing, man. Yeah, Harvey's for you. They got people that don't know Harvey's is a Canadian burger chain made famous by Sebastian Bach. Harvey's makes your hamburger a beautiful thing, man. Harvey's makes your hamburger fucking delicious. It's kind of like Subway. You get a terrible burger, and then they set her down, and there's a whole line of shit, and you tell them what you want on there just like at Subway.

We should be spokesmen for fucking Harvey's. We should be. Actually, I think they did contact us. I fucked up. Who's Harvey? Did we ever meet Harvey? No, he's dead. No, I don't think Harvey.

He wasn't like a Wendy's, like a real chick. He was just a made-up dude. Oh, Harvey wasn't even a fella? No, man, he looked like a cartoon. He had like a big fucking nose, and looked like Inspector Clouseau, the cartoon. When was Harvey's ever have the mascot? They had a mascot, man.

Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, they did. I'm fucking craving it now. And they invented the order instead of, you can't decide if you want French fries or onion rings. They invented the frings, where you get a fucking box split up the middle, and you get half fries and half frings.

Brilliant. Yeah, that's a brilliant idea. Actually, you know what? I think Burger King are doing that now. Somebody is. They fucking stole it. Yeah. What do you think, according to Guinness' book, the heaviest turkey is on record?

700 pounds. Jesus Christ. That'd be a big fucking dairy. That's a big fucking bird, man. That's, fuck, that's a big bird. Big bird wouldn't be 700 pounds. He's only about 350. That's a fucking ostrich.

This bird's fucking heavier than, no, man. Big bird was no more than 350. Bull fucking shit, he's about fucking nine and a half feet tall, man. How heavy is Shaq? Because he was definitely heavier than Shaq. Shaq couldn't have been more than 350, but Big Bird didn't have

the muscle content that Shaq had. He had a big badonkadonk on him, though. No, that's all feathers. He was mostly feathers, Julian. Oh, man. You didn't have a big ass.

Big Bird's body, he was very slender. Slender than my ass. Under the feathers. It was all feathers. He seemed like a fucking Christmas tree. He had a big cock. The feathers were, yeah. No, man, heender than my ass. Under the feathers. It was all feathers. It seemed like a fucking Christmas tree. He had a big cock.

The feathers were, yeah. No, man, he had a big ass. Most of his weight was in his cock. That's why they called him Big Bird. Yeah. They couldn't call him Big Cock because it was a kid's show. Now, wouldn't that deceive a picture of Big Bird with an erect cock? That would be disturbing, man.

How many fucking people would be fucking over that? There probably is one one if you look. Yeah. Google. I'm not Google. Google Big Bird Sesame Street with his big hard cock. You want me to?

Yeah. Just for shits and giggles. Okay, let's see what happens. Anyway, the heaviest turkey corn in Guinness was 86 pounds. Actually, 86 pounds?

That's a big fucking bird. AI. Would AI do that, man? Oh, AI will make a big bird with a big hard cock, but just see if there's one already done. If not, we'll put her into the chat GPT with some plug-ins. Get her whipped off. Chat GPT will whip her up in two seconds. I didn't know this, but Thanksgiving was not started in the United States. Really? It was started in the United States. Really?

It was started in Canada. Forty years before the U.S. started celebrating it. I don't think I knew that. I did not know that. Who would have thunk? How did that happen now? Do you know the back story? I don't know.

Why is it fucking different? Like, ours was in October, isn't it? Well, ours was more about... All right. That's it. ours is in October, isn't it? Well, ours was more about... There's a lot of people talking about Big Bird and his big cock. That was a horny laugh. It's a whole fucking... How big would Big Bird's dick be? All right, let's see.

I knew there would be. It's a big topic around the world. Big topic. Big Bird with his Big Bird dick. Okay. Big Bird's supposed to be a canary. What the fuck is this guy on?

A canary? They don't have a penis. Canaries don't have a penis? He's not a canary. It's unanswerable. He doesn't have a hooked beak. He's got a big, long, straight fucking beak. More like a fucking a whopper. Canary in a big, long, straight fucking beak. Like, more like a fucking...

A whapper did. Canary in a gold mine. Big bird. What's that? A police, wasn't it? Coal mine, Ricky. A what? Not a gold mine.

Canary in a coal mine. A gold mine? No, man. It's not a gold mine. Coal mine. Do you know why they put canaries in coal mines? I do. Does he know? No, because he thought it was in a gold mine. Coal mine. Do you know why they put canaries in coal mines? I do. Does he know?

No, because he thought it was in a gold mine. There'd be no reason to have them down there if that was the cause. Well, I thought canaries could find gold. They could sniff it out. No, Ricky. They put them down there so if the fucking methane levels got too high, the canary would die. So they're sacrificing the fucking cute little birds? They were putting them down there there and if all of a sudden

he can't breathe and he tips over, it's time to fucking... Why didn't they use an ugly... Buck it out of there. They could have used an ugly animal. Like what? Well, I think canaries are super susceptible to methane. Oh. Because people used to grab

them. So are cows. No, they make meth. Jesus Christ. So if a cow farted on a canary, he'd kill it. He would. And it's mature content here. This person, I want to fuck Big Bird from Sunset Street so fucking bad, it's an addiction.

I've got one more hour without my throbbing fat cock inside his tight yellow asshole. I'm going to literally die. I want to choke him out gently and slap his feathery thick ass cheeks. Force my cock into his beak as he slightly chokes. Chokes? You know how big his fucking beak is? Dude, you are fucking hanging. Well, that depends if he's going in from the end or if he's slipping in from the side.

All right, they just cut me off for some reason. I got booted off that thing. Don't know what happened there, boys. Okay. What in the Christ? Don't know, man. Is the fucking FBI going to be knocking at the door here any minute? I don't fucking know.

I'm sorry, we're talking about Big Bird's cock. You might get arrested for bestiality here in a minute. Okay. I'm gone. They took me off there, man. Okay, well, at least we know. There's people out there that want to fuck them. Did you click on images to see if anybody made it?

Yeah, there's no images, man. I don't believe that. No, there's none. Well, Chuck, you see, with a can of plug-in. I gotta log in, man. I can't log in. Yeah, they want to log in. They want to get me.

Don't log in. No, man. Not logging in. All right. Fucking November the 24th. Is it November the 24th? Christmas is in one month. Son of a cock.

All right, I did have something here for you. I guess I'll have to go shopping or stealing one or the other. Shopping. What's the difference? Shopping or stealing? I guess it is the same. It's usually the same thing, isn't it? All right, Ricky.

I know how much you like swans. Did you ever hear about the fucking, the swan they have on display? Swan princess? No. They have it on display in Paris. Lynn Swan? No, it's like a swan. Do you remember Lynn Swan?

No, it's not a fucking, it's a swan. Who's that? Do you remember Lynn Swan? No. You don't. No, man. Should I? Pittsburgh Steelers, Terry Bradshaw's number one fucking receiver. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Swan, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't. No, man. Should I? Pittsburgh Steelers. Terry Bradshaw's number one fucking receiver.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Swan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know. Lynn Swan? Lynn Swan, baby. His name was Lynn. Lynn Swan.

Wow. Some of the greatest fucking receptions ever made in the history of fucking NFL. All right, fuck that. Wasn't that the Immaculate Conception? Yes. Was that it? The Immaculate Reception was Terry Bradshaw, fuck that. Wasn't that the Immaculate Conception? Yes. Was that it? The Immaculate Reception was Terry Burch or Lin Swan. Fucking threw a big Hail Mary 100 fucking yards or something.

It bounced off someone's fucking head, didn't it? Yeah, and caught her in the fucking... That was a crazy touchdown. That was good. But there's this one. He's made out of silver. Oh. Okay. He's 250 fucking years old

it's a mechanical thing it's made out of fucking parts from a goddamn clock a clock maker or something made it alright what's it worth

check this fucking oh man it's like you can't put a price on this fucking thing so can we get it look at this thing this thing fucking moves they got fish

made out of silver what the fuck is going on here this thing. This thing fucking moves. They got fish made out of silver. What the fuck is going on here? This thing is 250 fucking years old. Look at that neck's moving. It's 130 pieces, rings, makes up his neck. See, I wouldn't have thought that you'd be into this stuff. No, man. Amadeus.

I bet you Amadeus built it. If you could get your hands on this motherfucking bird. I bet you Amadeus built it. That's not his name. Amadeus, Amadeus. Not Amadeus. Who am I thinking of? Archimedes?

Maybe. Well, you know who fucking loved this one? Maybe, Ricky. Where did that name come from? Mertwain. It even picks up a little fish. Look. All right, that's impressive for 250 years.

I want one. Who am I thinking of that built all the mechanical? Rube Goldberg. Fucking bird. Rube Goldberg. Fucking bird. Rube Goldberg. Who the fuck is Rube Goldberg? I don't think he was a famous inventor. Now, who's the guy I'm trying to think of that built all the mechanical, you know?

I don't know, man. Cirque du Soleil? I don't know. Mark Twain was into this fucking thing. You put six pence in it. Cirque du Soleil? I don't know. Mark Twain was into this fucking thing. You put six pence in it. Cirque du Soleil. The what?

Cirque du Soleil. Circus of the Sun. Look at this fucking bird. Look at this thing. It really is. Are you getting hurt? No, I just, it's worth a lot of money, man. I like expensive things like that.

I'd like to have it. Imagine if we had that right there in your living room. We could bring people over. I'd never leave the house. Who the fuck am I trying to think of that felt all the mechanical inventions? It's probably this fucking guy. What is that goddamn xylophone noise? Oh.

That's a cuckoo clock, Ricky. Jesus Christ. Clock dingers. So on this same day in 1971, D.B. Cooper hijacked that fucking plane. Never to be seen again. I don't think he hijacked the plane, did he? Nope. He didn't hijack it.

He robbed it and bailed out of it. Well, they kind of hijacked it. Sort of the same thing. He's taking over. No, if you jump out of a plane, you're not hijacking the fucking thing. I think he made them go in a certain direction. It's kind of... Yeah, man. He hijacked it.

He temporarily hijacked it. It's a gray area. Usually when you hijack it... How come we've never done that? He got away with it. Why have we never done that? Because, Ricky, it's fucked. Is it harder now?

He barely got away, or he might be dead. He might have died on impact, and they just never found him. No, they did find some of the money. Did they? Yeah. Well, and I think they found a mask. I watched it, too. When we were in jail, I think I watched it with you.

That fucking guy, one of his relatives were like, he was my uncle. I think they found a paper mache mask he made or something, wasn't it? No, that's Alcatraz. Oh? No, that's Alcatraz. Oh, yeah, that's Alcatraz. Jesus, bubs. He wouldn't need a paper mache mask. He just needs a parachute and a mask on, though, I think. Sunglasses.

Sunglasses. On this day in 1966, you're going to like this one, bubby. The Beatles started recording Sergeant Pepper. Yep. Knew it. Got that old fast, man. In 2022, on this day, Flossie became the world's oldest cat.

Oldest cat. 27. 27 years, Flossie. You're like, you've got a memory on you, man. A member. Memory. You said you got a member on you.

Well, it's probably all this Big Bird talk, man. Oh, my nickname was Big Bird in elementary school. He wants to see your member. Remember in elementary school they used to call me Big Bird? No. I do. Wow, this is fucking weird. Pete Best was also born on this day.

He wasn't part of the Beatles when they recorded the Sgt. Pepper, though. No, he was not. He was very, very much gone by that. I wonder how he felt for the rest of his life. How do you think he felt, Ricky? How do you think he felt when he's sitting at home watching Beatlemania

happen on his TV? You'd feel kind of left out, wouldn't you? You? Kind of left out, wouldn't you? You. Kind of left out. He must have been some fucking mad. Like, like,

well, I mean. Didn't he get booted out because he was too good looking? That was one of the claims. Really? Yeah. One of the claims was

he was, you know, getting too many of the ladies in Hamburg and the other Beatles are like, hey, you're out of control here, bud.

We got to reel in the fucking handsomeness. You're a little too, you got to reel in the handsome. Well, he should have made a deal with them and said, look, I will fucking grow some crazy-ass facial hair that makes me look like an idiot or cut his hair. You know what I mean? Yeah. For millions?

Mohawk. I will ugly myself up boys but I mean that obviously he wasn't a great drummer either I was gonna ask you that

that's part of the problem I guess he wasn't like you know he wasn't fantastic where Ringo you know once they got Ringo

different Ringo had perfect timing first of all did he still does Ringo had perfect timing, first of all. Did he? Still does. Ringo can fucking play rock solid time. He's just like a human metronome. Did he do a lot of partying? Ringo? Yeah. What do you think? Yeah. He doesn't have Pete Best looks,

does he? I think Ringo's cuter. What? I ain't just cuter than Pete Best? I don't even know what Pete Best looks like. I don't either. Pete Best had the big ducktail hair. He almost, well, Pete Best got this hair right here, actually. And you think? Pull up a picture of him in 1961.

He looks like Ricky. I never even thought of him. Pete Best, Pete Best, 1961. I would have been kicked out of the Beatles. You might have been. Too good looking. Lucky Luciano got born on the 24th of November. Lucky Luciano.

Billy Connolly. He's a good fucking dude. Funny as fuck. Billy Connolly apparently is not in good shape, though. Ted Bundy. Oh, fuck. Dirty old Ted Bundy. This is a killer of up to 100 women? It was that many. Not in good shape, though. Ted Bundy. Oh, fuck. Dirty old Ted Bundy.

This is a killer of up to 100 women? It was that many. Jesus, I didn't know that either. 10. Okay, yeah. He kind of has the Ricky thing going there a little bit. Got a little bit of a Ricky thing going. Pete Bast from the Beatles.

Can Ricky see? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's a fucking good looking dude. Little Pete Bast there from the... That's right around the time he got fucking booted. You're gone. You know what?

This guy, he does look like he's cooler than Ringo. Like he looks like the fucking Fonz there playing the drums, man. Yeah, he was. He does. He was clocking some ladies. That motherfucker's cool. Apparently he wasn't a great band member though. Yeah, he was. He does. He was clocking some ladies. That motherfucker's cool. Apparently he wasn't a great band member, though.

Like, messing gigs because he was drinking and banging. That makes him a good band member, doesn't it? I shouldn't say that. I don't know that for sure. Well, okay. We met some of his family when we were in Liverpool. Bullshit we did. Yes, we did.

Really? Did you not come to the club with me? I don't remember. Casbah? I remember you went on some... I don't think you did. I went on a tour by myself. I remember you went on some fucked up tour with a drunk.

Yeah, you did, man. I went... No, that was Alan Williams, the Beatles' original manager before Brian Epstein. He took me around for a bottle of rum, took me all over Liverpool. Drunk? He was actually quite drunk. He passed away. Now he's not alive anymore.

But he took me over to Pete Best's house, and I met some of his people. Pete Best? What about Pete Best? Where is he? He wasn't there. What does he do for a living now? I don't know. He plays in the Pete Best band.

Pete Best. Maybe it in the Pete Best band. Pete Best. Maybe it's the name, Best. Maybe the boys are like, I just can't fucking, you think you're the best. If he was Pete Worst, he might still be in the Beatles. That's what I'm saying, man. Beatles have a new song out. How's it go? Sings a few bars.

A few licks. Whatever you want to call it. I know it's true. It's all because of you. That's how it starts, John Lennon. It's not sounding that really great, but... Ma, they do it better than I do. Is it a big fucking truck?

Sounds like Randy's getting a load of dildos dropped off. I might have to have a fucking nap before we go to Hervey's. Let's go to Hervey's. We're going to Hervey's. Can we nap first? No. We're going to eat and then have a nap. Get a big double cheeseburger in your belly.

Get a big double Hervey's in you, Ricky. Then you'll nap like a fucking baby gorilla. What are you saying? We're done now? Is this it? Finished? I don't know. Mission accomplished? Could be. I should have been a plumber.

Fucking making bank today. I'm going to work one day a year. Brown Friday. You would have a hard time with a man because you throw up over like any bad stink. Brown Friday is not to wear a fucking charcoal filtered mask. But you might walk out on your step in the morning, do a big stretch, and say,

what a shitty day. Let's make some money. This is a good day. Let's go clean some shit. Hey, somebody's got to do it, man. Those plumbers are making tons of money doing that stuff. What the fuck is this? Oh, yeah, we could talk about this fucking castle that I found in Poland.

What's the deal? It's amazing, man. How much? Number one, these guys, they don't know who's building this fucking castle, which is weird. Number two, it's right on the fucking... How's that a mystery today? It's right on a fucking area where there's a bunch of endangered birds

that are living there, so... Big bird. The government... No, not big bird. The government, they're thinking about tearing the fucking thing down. Maybe the birds are building it. No, man. Birds are not building this fucking giant palace.

Birds can't swing fucking. Look at this fucking thing. Can you imagine seeing that cocksucker? That's being built today? That's being built today. They're not done yet. They're pretty close. They're saying this billionaire dude bought it.

What the fuck is Randy doing out there? He bought the land. I don't know. They say it could be turned into a hotel. They don't know what the fuck's going on with it. All they know is this castle's being built. There's no fucking way someone's building that. It's in the middle of fucking nowhere, man.

Look. Holy. There's nothing there. It's big. It's massive. How many years? That's the kind of castle I want to be going like living in. But they're saying there's like billionaires that are fucking selling

you know, 91 million dollars for an apartment in this thing or something. Jesus Christ. How do you get to it though? How do you fucking build stuff? It's like you're living downtown. So no building permits, nothing? No, they just said, fuck you, I'm doing it.

Wow. But how they can, good luck ripping that thing down. It's a castle. You can rip it down pretty quick with a fucking fighter jet. A javer. That's true. It's beautiful. A javer.

Although the fighter jet might fuck over the endangered birds. You know what? How is this thing fucking affecting the birds? I don't understand it, man. That shit drives me nuts. Ecosystems, man. I know. Jesus Christ, Rick.

What the fuck? Science. It's science. Rick, he believes in science now. Holy fuck, man. I mean, it's built in this lake. Maybe it's fucking up the fish or something. It's probably run off.

There's all cement paste running into the lake and turning the fish to stone. Yeah, but they're not worried about the fish. They're worried about the fucking birds. But if the fish turn to stone, what the fuck are the birds

going to eat? I don't know, man. It's a whole fucking forest out there. Go live in a tree somewhere. Fuck off. You go live in a fucking tree, they're saying.

No, fuck them. Fuck the birds. Fuck all those birds. They're saying, you go live in a fucking tree, they're saying. No, fuck them. Fuck the birds. Fuck all those birds. They're saying you go live in a fucking tree, you big muscle gun. That's a huge waste of money. No, I don't think so. You're fucking over the birds. Anyway, if any...

You should have donated the money. There's people that watch the show over in Poland, right? They're watching it. I have people... Big time. So anybody in Poland knows about this fucking castle? Go get some pictures of it. We need more info.

We need to know the type of birds. We want access. We want to stay in this fucking thing. I want to go to Poland. I want to go save the birds. I want to go to Poland. Let's go to Poland. There's all kinds of people.

I've met some people when we were in Europe. There's tons of people in Poland. Boys, before we die, we gotta spend a night or a week or a month or a year in this fucking castle. Let's officially ask the owners of this castle if we can come stay a night. Do you like Polish sausage, Julian? Polish sausage? No, man, I don't fucking know.

Did you ever have duck sausage? I know I'm getting sat up here. No, did you ever have duck sausage? Duck under the table and have a piece. All right, I gotta go. Hopefully someone will get back to us about the Poland Castle because it looks really cool. But for now, we're going to go to Hervey's. Yes, we are.

I'm going to get a double. Hervey's makes your hamburger a beautiful thing. We're going to have to hit a little store on the way or something, get a few bucks. Boys, I tried to end it on, right on the song. Okay, do it again. Would have been great. Let's all three of us sing it. Harvey's makes your hamburger a beautiful thing.

Ticka ticka. To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.