Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 27 - Shootin The Sh*t

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

Cape Breton's finest Tracy & Martina are in the trailer, and they've brought the Boys a scrump-dilly local delicacy! They shoot the sh*t about Canadian accents, Tracy's f**ked deer disaster, and give the Boys a quick-fire question round. The gals also chat about their new SwearNet shows, Dirty Deeds and Shootin The Sh*t!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. How's it going? Welcome to the Park After the Dark. We've got some special guests here today. Hi Sexies, it's Tracy Hahn. I some special guests here today. Hi, sexies. It's Tracy, hon. I'm your girl, Martina. Too high.

What? Too high. I feel like we should probably do a cheers, eh? I think so. Yeah, thanks for having us. Cheers. Thanks, dear mom. That's awesome.

Beautiful. I'm just trying to hold her together. You're okay, bubs. Just go with it, man. Buzz, what do you mean you're too fucking high? He gave me a bunch of stuff. You know not to eat shit. We have to take it all. This is for the week. The weekend. Just go with it, man. What do you mean you're too fucking high? He gave me a bunch of stuff. You know not to eat shit. We have to take it all for the week.

The weekend. You ate the whole thing? Yes, because I didn't know it had weed and hash in it. Well, before we start, me and Martine, we wanted to give you guys something. Yeah, we brought something from home. So we brought these from home. Now, these are actually from Balls Creek in Cape Breton at a convenience store. I went to Balls Creek when I was

trying to find him. Pizza burgers. I dipped them in. He's had pizza burgers before. Have you ever had them? I don't think I've ever had a pizza burger. Oh, they're awesome. Yes. It's a gas station pizza burger. These are a little bit different. There's like the right way and the wrong way to do it. These are a little bit fucked up because they're straight and wrapped, right? But usually it's like

this bag that you gotta cut. Women work in the cash. They'll have scissors. They-wrapped, right? But usually it's like this bag that you got to cuss. Woman working the cash, she loves scissors. They cut that for me, eh? And you put it in the microwave, one minute. They come out really soggy. Fucking awesome. Like lava. Now, I don't know why there's a picture of Don Cherry

on there, but I feel like that just makes them better. And what's the piece you eat on Cherry? Pizza. Politically correct. Burg. Yeah. No, it's pepperoni cheese, hon. Pizza. Politically cracked. Berg. Yeah. No, it's pepperoni cheese, hon. Oh.

You're out of your mind. Well, you never know nowadays, right? That's pep and cheese. Yeah. Pep and cheese. And people actually sell these fucking things? Yeah, you gotta microwave it so it gets soggy. I wouldn't eat it like that. No, no.

I just want to see what they're about. What do you mean? Open it up. Show the camera what's on the inside. Yeah, the bun gets really wet, but it's got to be microwave. I just want to see what they're about to mean. Open it up. Show the camera what's on the inside. Yeah, the bun gets really wet, but it's like you want that. So does his mom. That was nasty. That's terrible.

Well, she did. Okay, so somebody's selling these fucking things in stores. Oh, they're making a mint. How much are they making? That's what I want to know. Well, I paid $5 a pop for them. Five bucks for one of these things? $5 a pop.

So $15. You do the math. All right, buns. Because I know you're a businessman, right? I know. I want to know how much broth that is. Buns, $0.48. Oh, they're just raking it in, yeah? Hand over fist.

That's some good market. There's Burles Creek. Is that near Pepperoni Cove? Leach's Creek. Leach's Creek. There's Leach's Creek, Ballas Creek. Oh, Jesus. That's it. Look at that.

That's good pepperoni. Look at the spices in there. There's three pieces of pepperoni. Is that Leach's Creek, Palace Creek. Oh, Jesus. That's it? Look at that. That's good pepperoni. Look at the spices in there. There's three pieces of pepperoni. Is that cheese? With a bit of sauce. A little bit of cheese. All right, you can make that for, I'd say,

15, 20 cents. They're selling it for five bucks. This guy's doing better than McDonald's. They're smarter than you are. Way better than McDonald's. All millionaires. I'm going to start doing this myself.

You're smarter than you. He's not doing better than McDonald's now. Bob's are better than McDonald's. I'm going to start doing this myself. He's not doing better than McDonald's now. Bob's, 20 cents to fucking make it. How many do you think he's selling compared to McDonald's?

$4.80 profit. I'm just saying. At least 20 a day. He takes this, he goes across Canada and opens up a little franchise thing, which I could do.

I mean, yeah, you can get the burger for probably 20 cents, get the big packs of Costco. Oh, 100%. And that's what the kids all have for lunch. They don't go to McDonald's. They're going getting some of those.

Chocolate milk. Target market would be the kids. Fall asleep in class. You don't want kids to have money these days. Because parents are stupid. They're lazy. They're just like, here, here's five bucks. Go get a pizza burger.

I'm into it. I'm going to bring these puppies here to Sunnyvale. What was that? That could be a cool idea. You could jazz them up a little bit, too. Well, I mean, that's Don Cherry right there. I don't know if you can see that. That's horrible.

Like, I'd do a much better job. Is that who's making them? I don't know. Probably. Rich as fuck. It could be his new career. Is that what he's doing now? That's a sin.

If that's what he's doing. It could be. Because he lost the job. Julian, you could call yours muscle burgers. You know what? You could throw a bit of protein in there as well. I could say that there's like 20 grams of protein in one of these things. People would never know, man.

Muscles aren't gross. All you mean is muscles. Because I was thinking muscles in the shell. Because they don't last on the shells. No, that's gross. I had some of those when I was down there. Clams don't last. The Cabot Trail. Yes, gross. I had some of those when I was down there. Clans and all that. The Cabot Trail.

Yes, I heard you were up there. We were watching the last episode. Okay, it was interesting. I was trying to find him. Bob's couldn't find him. Who do you know? I did catch a salmon, and then I found out it was illegal. Oh, yes, don't tell anyone.

What did you catch it with? Just a spinning rod. I can't do that. Didn't know. It's fun, though. Tasted good. All right, so what else happened? What did you eat? Because I know you don't have any money. I can't do that. Didn't know. It's fun, though. Tasted good. All right, so what else happened? What did you eat?

Because I know you don't have any money. I had a lobster, which was also illegal. You were gone for eight, nine days? How'd you get away with a lobster, Ricky? Listen, I'm flipping because Nova Scotia government tweeted, right, after we had that big hurricane there, and the lobsters were washing up on shore, and they tweeted out, pissed a bunch of people off. They said, make sure you're not harvesting the lobsters were washing up on shore and they tweeted out, pissed a bunch of people off.

They said, make sure you're not harvesting the lobsters that are washing up on shore. I said, fuck off. Check your fucking heads. Well, apparently it's illegal, right?

You're just going to let them die? You say I wasn't hurt? What am I supposed to do? Take a rake, put them back in the ocean, am I? Well, what they did,

they advertised everybody, look, there's a bunch of fucking free lobsters. Help yourself. I would just say I wasn't harvesting them. He was dying and I was giving him CPR. Well, listen, they retract of fucking freed lobsters. Help yourself. I would just say I wasn't harvesting them. He was dying and I was giving him CPR. Well, listen, they retracted the tweets.

With some butter and garlic, eh? They treated the tweets. Retracted. Yeah. So how did it mean they fucked up? It wasn't a fucking hurricane. It looked nasty. Yeah, it was horrible.

It wasn't really bad. It wasn't as bad up here, but I guess it was crazy down there. Yeah, yeah. Did you lose anything? Did you lose a roof or anything? Lost the roof. Did you? Came right off.

Probably lost some power. Lost my mind. Staying in the house, no fucking power. Well, we were 14 days, no power. Holy fuck. Really bad, yeah. That's pretty good. I got the wood stove, though.

Do you have a lot of guys on hand? I mean, that would help it out. Well, they never shut the liquor stores down. Okay, well, there you go. Well, that's a high risk, right? You can't do that. No. People know it's their fucking shit.

No. I do have to, can I address the elephant in the room here? Because like our show, that's not nice. That's bad. Don't listen to him.

He's just getting you going. Well, I mean, big. I've never been called, you don't look at an elephant and say, hey, look, he's pretty muscular, man. Muscular elephants you do? I've seen ripped elephants.

I just take it as a compliment. Well, I'm talking about, our show is all about, like, catching scammers and all that. And you guys, I know these are scammers. Like, he's doing your best. But it's different. I was talking about it with Tracy, because you guys are like, you're like the trailer park Robin Hoods. Because you're going for, like, the big businesses, governments and all that, right? And that's awesome.

We don't scam, like, you know, old people and stuff or nobody from the park. Yeah. But, yeah, it's good that you guys are doing that, I guess. Yeah, well, no, we're getting, like, arseholes, like real pricks. Well, I was saying to her, like, half the cops are corrupt, right? Yeah. So you can't trust them. So me and her, we're just taking it into our own hands.

That's awesome. And they're not very smart as well. Charles Brown? No. No, they're not. There's that. Because a lot of the older people here in the park get scanned, and it pisses me off. Well, that's just it.

I'm glad you guys are taking care of that stuff. Yeah. I can't wait to watch it. Vigilantes. Yeah. Yes. So we're not here for you. I just had to clear the air.

Oh, so you guys have a podcast or something starting up, right? Is that? Yeah, there's two episodes out right now. We want to make more. All right, good. You guys are good. You're funny. Thank you.

It's called Shooting the Shit. And basically, it's just me and her. Like, we got the idea because, like, we were making YouTube videos for a year. Just talking. And, like, I'll just be talking to her on the phone for 45 minutes. And, like, I'm like, somebody should really fucking be recording this. Yeah, because we're fucking cult. And so we just go into the studio and just sit down

and just basically shoot the shit through. That's awesome. That's kind of what we do. We just shoot the shit about nothing, really. Yeah. Well, you can't take their name, Julian. That's the name of the earth. We've got Park Avenue Dark where we shoot the shit.

It's kind of like the same thing. Yeah, but you can't say, call it shoot the shit. The earth is called shoot the shit. You're going to take it on them, are you? Well, I'm not going to take it. Yes, you can call me. If we had a show where you're shooting guns at someone, we could be shooting the shit. We're shooting at shit.

Oh, yeah. Do you just go hunting? Do you just go hunting? I'm not a big hunter, I guess. I should be. I don't allow it. Yeah. Listen to this one.

Tell them. Okay. I'm kind of embarrassed to tell this story because these are probably going to think badly of me after I tell it. Anyway, so on Dirty Deeds, I was talking to Martina. I said one time I hit a deer, right? You hit a deer? I smashed a deer.

Cramed us. And it went right through the front windshield of my poppy's truck, right out the back fucking windshield. Jesus Christ. Flew right, yeah, right through the car. And I was obviously a little bit shaken up over this, right? And so the truck went down into an engulfment, rolled it a couple times, and I'm just sitting there like,

holy fuck, what just happened? Trying to collect myself. And I look out the window, and I see the fucking deer trying to make a run for it, right? And it's limping. Still alive. It was alive. What do you do?

I guess he's limping. Yeah, it was alive. Antler sheared right off I guess he's limping. Yeah, it was alive. Antler sheared right off, probably. Just pure adrenaline. No, it was intact. Holy Jesus. It was a buck, wasn't it? It was a buck.

It's amazing. Good-sized buck. So what do you do, Tracy? You got to do the right thing. So I look into the back of the truck there, and I see Poppy's gun. And so I'm like, I can't just let this deer run off, right? I had to do the right thing. So I get out of the truck, and I start just giving her into the woods,

chasing the fucking buck, right? And it's just running, and I'm chasing it, and it files down. And I could tell, like, you know, the thing is going to fucking die. I may as well just take care of it. Yeah, fuck. And so I take the gun and I'm standing there and I'm shaking and everything.

I'm like bawling. And it was moving at you too. It was moving. It was going, making a queer sound and like, oh. And it was cold out that day and it's breath and everything.

You could see it in the air. And so I'm just fucking freaking out, right? Shaking with the gun and I look away and I start just giving it, like just shooting everywhere. And, uh. Wasn't even a rifle. just giving it, like, just shooting everywhere. And...

Wasn't even a rifle. I was shooting it with a fucking BB gun. Oh, Jesus Christ. You were shooting it with a pellet gun. I was shooting it with a pellet gun. Oh, he just tormented it. And then I called Poppy. I was calling Poppy.

I was roaring. I was like, what the fuck do you got a pellet gun in the truck for? He said, that's for the squirrels. And then he wanted you to take it home and eat it. How many shots did you put into him with the pellets? I can't even count, honestly. I was just getting rid of it. It didn't kill it, though.

Well, no, it was just aggravating its pain. He came to his injuries, though. He did pass away. He bled to death. Wait now, what's this meat on here? No, you can't eat the deer after the pellet gone because it's full of shrapnel. That's not deer meat.

It's lead poisoning. No. I just thought that might be deer meat. Have you seen the deer after the pellet gun because it's full of shrapnel. That's not deer meat, is it? It's lead poison. No. I just thought that might be deer meat. Have you seen the deer down in Cape Breton? They're fucking, like, gigantic. Yeah. Oh, that's a moose.

That's a moose, honey. Oh. That's a moose. They're different, yeah. I wonder what those look like. They're, like, on the quarter. They're big. Yeah.

They're fucking big. They're fucking right there. Yeah. 25 to 30 feet tall. Like, okay, so if you guys, like, there's a lot of Americans that watch this fucking big, they're fucking right there. 25, 30 feet tall. Like, okay, so if you guys, like there's a lot of Americans that watch this fucking thing, so they don't know what provinces are really.

They're not gonna even know that Nova Scotia exists. So right, they're from the same province, but they live on the east side. Northeast is it, what'd you say? On the island. On the island of Nova Scotia, but they talk a bit different than us. I like the way they talk.

There's an accent. Just like in Newfoundland. Newfoundland has a kind of like similar thing, but even it's different. It's different than that, right? Great explanation. So clear now. Crystal clear to everybody.

Well, the edibles are sort of kicking as well. We got a lot of like Irish and Scottish settlers that came to Cape Breton Island and they lived all up in the Highlands and all that. So we kind of still got a little bit of that accent left over, right? I find yous have an accent, though. Oh, really? Because I'm listening to you, and I'm trying to make out what you're saying,

and then I think the fumes in here are getting to me, too, so I'm like, heads chashed, yeah. No, I don't find we have an accent. Well, if you go back far enough in the history books, I think Cape Breton used to be attached over here to Ireland. Pangea. Well, that was Pangea. Pangea.

That's what that was. Pangea. What the fuck are you talking about? It was all one. It was all one big crusty earth. I don't know how long ago that was. Oh, it was a while ago. It's like a little avatar.

What are you talking about? It was a while ago. Are you talking like plate tectonics or something? Yeah. That type of thing. Everybody shut up. I'm just conversing down now.

My brain might explode. Oh, yeah, I know. Okay, Ricky. All I'm saying, there's lots of different accents in Nova Scotia. Like, if you go to the fucking West End

by Digby and shit, they talk different there. And there's the Valley people. It's fucked up. Is it like that everywhere? The Valley people? I wouldn't know. Well, the thing about people in the valley, too. They talk different there. And there's the valley people. It's fucked up. Is it like that everywhere? The valley people. I wouldn't know. Well, the thing about people in the States,

I find that they think they got the baseline accent, right? Yeah. They can't even tell that they got any kind of accent. Yeah, you're right. That is true. Because you go down south there, they're like rednecks, like way down south. Another thing that pisses me off is they say that, like,

there's a Canadian accent, which that's just not true. No, that's... There's no kind of generic fucking Canadian accent. I'm sorry. They're saying like a-boos. I don't know. No one says a-boos. A-boot.

No, I don't know. They say out and about. There's a fucking W in there, which I don't know. What do you say? A. I don't say A. Who the fuck says A? It's always like Canada's about A.

How's it going? A. A. I say A. I say A. who the fuck says A? It's always like Candace about A, how's it going? A. I say A. A. Yeah. Well, I mean, Bob and Doug helped to perpetuate that myth.

Well, you know what else we say around here? We do this, we go. We don't do that. That's called the inhaled affirmative. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's a maritime thing. It's like a. How do you spell that, Tracy?

Because sometimes I go to type a T and I put like H-H-H-Y-A. I don't know. And then there's the no. Yeah, I never thought, it's a no as well. No. Like why the fuck do we do that? I'm gonna stop doing it. Because I do all the time.

You sound like you're stroking out. That's what I'm saying, man. Yeah. Holy Jesus. Anyways, I'm looking through some stories here. Oh, yeah? And thank God we have some females here because you guys can give us your opinion on this.

There's a woman... Okay, no, that was a different one. That's her uterus got ripped out. Oh, God. No, that's the wrong one. What the hell are you going... This woman brings her kid in. She's nine years old

to do fucking plastic surgery. On the kid? The fuck is up? What do you guys think of that? Like, is the kid getting plastic surgery? Is the kid the model? There's no way the kid

is licensed to do plastic surgery. It's in... No, she's having it done to her. Oh, you said brought the kid in to do plastic surgery. To get it done, bubs. What did she want done? She got a fucking nose job or something. But everybody's getting it done.

Hopefully it's not breasts, because she's too young. No, it's just not talking about... She's off-sided by the time she's... What do you think of that? Well, it depends what she looked like beforehand, I guess. It's her own decision. I mean, if she's very unhappy... I'm a big believer kids make their own decisions, right?

I don't think nine-year-old girls should get fake boobs. That is fucked up. Well, no, no, because that would just look so stupid. But a nose job... Is that what she was getting done? What? What was she... She wasn't getting fake tits.

I'm saying she had, like, a nose job done. I mean, if she was consented to it... If she's, like, an influencer, you never know. Yeah. Well, if her nose was totally fucked, I mean, I don't know. But the thing is, she's nine. She could have a big nose and grow into it. You know what I'm saying?

Well, then she'd need to fix back. Yeah, that's true, too. But then, okay, it's a double procedure, then. It doesn't really fucking make— Well, we need more details, because maybe her nose got bit off by a dog. That's true. And they were just fixing it. No, it's nothing.

It's an appearance thing. So it's a normal kid, and the mother wants to change her looks. And it's actually, they've got a serious... Well, I wonder if maybe they're divorced, right? I'm wondering. And like the husband, if the daughter reminds her of the husband. Where my mind's going is maybe the father's not the father, and she wants to look like the father.

That's true, too. I would never have thought of that. Could have been that, too. No, you know what? It's worse than that. The mother went in to get the same kind of procedure done as her. Oh, that's awesome. They need to get mastered.

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, because people do that tattoo. Well, you used to go in with Brandy and then all the time you used to get your nails done together. The nails, then we both did. We had the tongue, right? Changing her fucking nose. I just don't think it's that big of a deal. No.

Once you do that, then you've got a perfect nose. Then you've got to fuck with everything else to make it better, like your lips. Yeah, like, oh, I didn't notice how fucked your eyes were until you fixed your nose. Now your eyes are all garbled up. They're also getting an eye job done as well. They're getting eyelid surgery. Eye implants? Yeah.

For bigger eyeballs. I don't know. Eye implants. That's what was happening. That's what's going on over there. I think, like, good for her. That's awesome. I think it's very empowering.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're making for her. That's awesome. I think it's very empowering. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're making lots of money. Plus the surgeons. Look at that big rabbit there. Oh, my God. That is another story. I wasn't going to get into that one,

but it's a big fucking rabbit. It's the size of a... I'm sure that's not, like, a lassie dog. That must be, like, a Shetland sheep dog or something, but that's a big fucking bunny. Man, you know your dogs. That's a bunny right there. Well, that's a collie. That's a fucking bunny. If you like to eat bunnies, you that's a big fucking bunny. Man, you know your dogs. That's a bunny right there. That's a fucking bunny.

If you like to eat bunnies, you got a big feast right there. Tracy probably has a couple on the front of the truck. I know. Where you're driving. Cream and rabbit and deer and everything. Oh my god, I was saying to Martini the other day, I was like, I should get a plow attached onto the front of the truck.

And just drive along the side of the road and just collect all the fucking roadkill. Well, you know. Because it's going to waste. There is somebody out there that has this podcast where they eat fucking roadkill. Well, the price of meat is way up there.

Yeah, I can't blame them. I wouldn't do it myself. I heard that one of them is not bad. I think it's the pork or pine. They have a festival in the States where they barbecue it. I guess it tastes like pork. They don it's the pork or pine. I think they have a festival in the States where they barbecue it. I guess it tastes like pork. Pork or pine, do they?

They do. Okay, well pork or pine probably tastes like pork. It's kind of like apple, pineapple. Tastes the exact same. Pork or pine. That's true. Pineapple and pork. I guarantee you it does not taste like that.

Flying pizza. Close your eyes and plug your nose. Everything tastes the same. It's like right stringy and like awful tasting. You think he's walking around like a prickly Hawaiian pizza. Do you think if you're eating porcupine, you know how you suck the lobster legs? Yeah. Do the quills do that?

Like is there meat in the quills? Chew out all the quills. Yeah. Here's a question. How do they bang? How do they bang? They move the quills out of the way. Porcupines?

Yeah, but push the quills out of the way. Push the quills out of the way. They lay eggs, don't they? No? I don't know. The porcupine doesn't lay a fucking egg, does it? Well, I don't know. I'm not a fucking zoologist. They must.

Platypuses do. Yeah, but I'm still back to the quills. Like, if you go in and you rush to do some banging. Maybe they like that, though. That's what I'm saying. They lay eggs around the pistol. Maybe they like a little bit of, like, pain, right? A little slap and tickle, yeah. How could you look at one of those and say, oh, yeah, it's what I'm saying. They like eggs. Maybe they like a little bit of pain, right? A little slap and tickle, yeah.

How could you look at one of those and say, oh, yeah, it's hot. I'm going to hit that. Well, another porcupine. I guess you kind of have to be that animal species, right, in order to find the other animal species attractive. That's true, too. I find, as a human, I'm not attracted to animals.

To porcupines, no. Yeah. Yeah, I never thought about that. That's a good point, Tracy. Yeah, thanks. All right, well, here's one more story. I've got this guy.

He broke the world record for blowing the breathalyzer. Oh, I was about to say blowing something. It was actually done within two weeks. It was broken twice by two guys from Argentina.

One guy blew a 5.79. 5.79. You. 5.79. You're dead at four. Well, he's alive, and he blew it. He crashed his truck into a fucking ditch. I imagine. So he's like, yeah, I got the fucking record. Then this other guy.

Well, then you just start making, like, stronger, more durable breathalyzers, because, like, how hard was he blown into it to break it? That's a good question. I don't know. Man, five, I can't even remember. But this other guy broke the record, another guy from Argentina. 6.26. They're both from Argentina?

How do you not die? I don't know. Blahey blew over six before. Did he? Yes. I blew over two once, and I thought I was dead. No, I've never been there. Blahey blew over a six one time.

Yeah, he was up to around seven-something. That's honestly something to be proud of. Well, he was pretty proud of it. Yeah. Maybe it's a different story. Maybe he blew a guy that was a five, like rated a five. Five out of ten. Yeah.

But it was really a seven. Yeah. So, yeah. I don't think that's probably it. We're talking about two different things, aren't we? I think so. Like, okay. I don't think it would be in the news if he just blew a guy that was a seven.

You never know. Well, Argentina, you don't know. Yeah, maybe. Five blew a seven. A five blew a seven. That's news. I think so. It won't be in town.

All right, I'm done. I've got no more stories. I've got a story. That's what I thought. I saw these little cards. Matea Roche. Oh, yeah. Matea Roche. Yeah, what do you think of her?

Wheel of Fortune. No, Jeopardy. Right. Is it Jeopardy? She's on Jeopardy. I was going to say Price Strike. Yeah, no. Oh, genius.

She's a smart... Isn't she a Nova Scotia person? She's from Nova Scotia. She's moved on to the championship. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. She's fucking brilliant. She's a genius. She's a smart, isn't she a Nova Scotia person? She's from Nova Scotia. Yeah, she is. She just moved on to the championship. I didn't know that. Oh yeah.

She's fucking brilliant. Barely gotta get up on the news. She's smarter than a lot of people. She's only young too, which is, you know, what the, where'd her brain come from? I heard she's much younger. Her grandfather apparently. She's actually 47.

You what? Really? She's 47, I haven't even seen her. Well that would make sense. Maybe she's not. How long has she been on the Jeopardy? She beat everybody. She's the champ. She's still going.

She's still going in the tournament of champions, I swear to God. Yeah. That's awesome. She made a lot of money, too. Oh, my gosh. So I wrote up some questions. All right. And I want to rapid fire with yous and see if yous can answer these questions.

Come on, brain, treat your race. How many litters can you realistically get out of a healthy cat? Bubs? Nine. How many? Think of the lifespan of a cat and when it's able to actually have kittens,

how many litters can you get out of a healthy cat? 18. 40. $1. One last guess. Just wait, I'm doing the math. 36. How many litters, not how many kittens?

How many times she bangs and splits the moat. Yeah, because that depends on the years. I mean, you'll be portioned to get 10. Two a year? The highest was 62. Holy jeez. No way. I was the closest. 62, just pumping them out.

That was the cat. Yeah. Cat must be very fertile. That's not the average, though. That's a very fertile cat. That's two a year. That's a lot. Fertile myrtle. Okay, moving on.

What human traits do rats got? Smiles. It's not thumbs. Nope. No, it's not thumbs. Human traits? Oh, breastfeeding. Oh, good one. They do breastfeed, Smiles. Not thumbs. Nope. No, it's not thumbs. Human traits? Oh, breastfeeding. Oh, good one. They do breastfeed, yeah, but it's not that. No.

So we don't got tails. Drink alcohol? They'll eat human food? Eat cheese. They can sense danger. Get the fuck out of here. They can sense danger. They can, rats can sense danger. And they can signal each other up the track.

They're fucking hard to kill. Crows are the same way. Crows are very smart, too. How do people sense danger? What do you mean? Rats are hard to kill. You just get a sense for it, right? You can tell if there's something creeping up behind you to bite you.

Yeah. I'll try to shoot a rat. Okay. Couldn't shoot him. Okay, next one. What rodent got the biggest nuts-to-body ratio? Russ. Ricky.

Chinchoa. It's more of a Randy thing. the biggest nuts to body ratio. Ross. Ricky. Chinchilla. It's more of a Randy thing. He's got some droopy nuts on him. Amol. Amol? Teddy bear hamster. No, you know. Is it really?

It's hamster. No, hamster. Yeah, you've only got to see Tracy's answers. It's one eighth of the body weight, the nuts. Big, bald motherfuckers. Wow. I do remember the hamsters.

No wonder you have so many of the little fucking gummy hamsters around your house. They're just like breathing. I've seen lots of hamsters. I don't remember ever seeing a pair of nuts. Oh yeah. In theory, they would also have the biggest. No, that's not always true.

That shoots out of there, wouldn't it? Not always true. The little lipsticks, no, that's not true. All right. Okay, name all the ingredients in Jake's dinner. Jake's dinner? Okay, corned beef, potatoes, cabbage, parsnip, yeah, that's enough for you, carrots.

Fuck, you're good, man. I know. Cabbage, yeah. Salt and meat, I guess. Yeah, you got potato. Yeah, that's it then. Yes! You have peas pudding, too.

Peas pudding. I fucked up peas pudding. I don't put peas pudding. No, that's it then. Yes! You have peas pudding too. Point for Ricky. Peas pudding. I fucked up peas pudding. I don't put peas pudding. No, that's the Cape Breton way, but the Newfoundland way they put peas pudding, you have to. Okay. I drive the cranberries to her too.

Okay. Another name for a coal mine. Canary. No. Shit pit. Kind of, yeah. The pit. The pit, yes.

Fuck. Three for me, one for Ricky, none for you bubs. Okay.. The piss. Yes, fuck. Three for me, one for Ricky, none for you, bubs. Okay. I didn't even realize we started. Oh, I got the hamster knots, too. Oh, you got that one, okay, so two, one, one. Okay, this one here.

What large cat gives off secretions through its glands in order to attract prey? Ooh. Is that a cougar? Oh, fuck, that's a lion, isn't it? Leopard? No, Canadian. Oh, Canadian cat.

A Canadian cat. It's a Cape Breton cougar. No, it's lynx. The lynx! The lynx! Canadian lynx. I was gonna say that, damn it. And you know what's funny too,

is like when I go to like Two Rivers Wildlife Park. Yeah, you can smell them. I can smell it, and not a lot of people can actually smell it, but I can. Does it keep you, like, riled up, though? No. You feel funny? No. It burns.

It burns? It's like a moan, yeah. It's not the scent of the piss, though. Okay. It's something else. It's, like, hormonal, and I can sense it. Wow. So do you, like, all of a sudden, like, I've got to do some banging.

Does that happen, or is it just the cats? No. You keep getting into bestiality, and I'm not sure what's wrong. No, no, not banging the cat. You want to go downtown a few times. No, I don't want to bang the cat. Pick up some dude that's in the cats? No, you keep getting into bestiality and I'm not sure what's happening. No, no, not banging the cat. You wanna go downtown a few drinks? No, I don't wanna bang the cat. And pick up some dude that's in the car, no? No, I don't, don't turn me on.

I'm just saying I got a sense. I'm not talking about banging the cat. I'm just saying I got a sense for it. She senses it. And it's not like it's turning me on or nothing. Okay, that's all we need to know. Okay, but what does it make you feel, Tracy? Because now I'm curious.

It makes me feel like strong, like powerful woman. What are the Links' wanting you to do that for? I don't know. That don't make no sense. There's a new business. We got to bottle that shit. I'm kind of liking it. Yeah.

We got to start bottling it. You should start wearing it, Julian. Sex links. Hey, Ricky, splash on some sex links and we'll head down to the bar. Find a cougar. Find a cougar. Who won? I did, didn't I?

I got two. You got two? I got one over there. I think I won it. I usually won this one, we play it. Is there a prize? I don't know that, but. Pepperoni and cheese sandwich.

I'll eat your pizza burger. I'm gonna wrap this up and sell mine. Hey, give me that. I'm gonna sell these to Randy. I don't know why we got them for them and they're not even eating them. I got a microwave for them. Get them soggy.

No, you don't have to. You can eat it right now. It's like soggy bun, lava on the inside. It's perfect. Our microwave's fucked. Alright, I'm taking a bite. Is this edible? Oh, it's gonna be delicious. You think? Yes, boy.

Oh, it's really good. Deer meat and cheese. What do you think of that? Iron stomach, eh? I can see why people buy them. It's nice. It's nice, eh? Think you can get do you think of that? Iron stomach, eh? I can see why people buy them. It's nice. For five bucks. You think you can get six bucks out of that?

It's actually really tasty, but it would be better in the microwave. All right. You gotta watch your damn chocolate milk. That's some good pepperoni. You've seen it here first, folks. Ricky likes the Cape Breton pizza burgers. Fuck yeah, I do.

I can't believe I didn't have one of these when I was there. Meat Cove. I don't know if they have them up there. Different meats, yeah. It is Meat Cove. It's weird. That's a strange, one of these when I was there. Meat Cove. I don't know if they have them up there. Different meats. It is Meat Cove. It's weird. That's a strange, different place, but I liked it.

Meat Cove, that's where all the draft dodgers went. Draft dodgers? Up Meat Cove, yeah. Was there a burning? Yes. Are you saying draft or draft? Draft dodgers trying to dodge the war. Oh, okay.

Ah, what I meant is the neck. There's nothing on the go up there, though. There's nothing like... The Meekhove? No, there's like the Chowder House. Beautyful landscape. Somebody says that they got a lot of free furniture or something and they made their doorways smaller so that people couldn't take the furniture back.

Is that true? That is a true story. Really? Yes. What? What is it now? You remember Schwartz Furniture House? Yeah.

So they had one of those sales at Schwartz. Yeah. Where, you know, you don't pay for a year or whatever. This is one of the first ones ever. So all the Meat Cove residents got together and they went to Schwartz and they cleaned the fucking place out and got all new couches, washers and dryers, fridges, everything. Got it all into their houses.

And then they didn't pay for the fucking pay for anything. That's fucking brilliant. But then when the Ray or the Schwartz people came back and said you didn't pay, we're repossessing all the furniture, they discovered that everybody in Meat Cove had put new doors in and their doors were only about that wide.

You're fucking joking. That's unreal. That is. Brilliant. That's a life hack for you. That is a life hack. How do you do that? Can you do that with, like, the garage door for the car, do you think? Probably. I don't know.

If that were in your car, it would be stuck in there. Yeah, but just for a while. It'll stop looking eventually. It's a good idea. Eventually you get her out of there. Even if you got someone to, like, lift it, twist it in, like, a storage locker or something, you know? Yes. I think I'm stoned down,

Tracy. You're thinking inside the box. I like it. Yeah, it's very good. Alright, well, let's think inside the box. Don't worry about that. I think we're all finished, guys, so we gotta wrap this up. Can we talk about the show, though? Yes, Tracy and Martina, Dirty Deeds is on SwearNet. We got one season

out right now. Second season is so much fucking better, and we actually shot it in Cape Breton. So there's that. We got a podcast. We got a Christmas special. So watch all of our shit. What do you think of those SwearNet people? I think they're kind of dickheads. I heard they were. They're coming around.

They're coming around. Check it out. It's awesome. Bunch of arseholes if you ask me. Cheers. Alright, cheers you guys. Bunch of arseholes if you ask me. Cheers. All right, cheers, you guys. Yeah, big cheers. Cheers. Thanks for coming in. Thanks for coming in.

Oh, I can't reach you. There you go. Cheers to yous. I guess we'll see you all in December. I can't fucking believe it's December already. Let's just keep partying then. Let's make this an all-nighter. What do you guys think?

Yeah? We're in. Pizza burger. Thanks for having us. Yes, thank you. The place is beautiful. Anytime. Very warm. Thanks for having us. Yes, thank you. The place is beautiful. Anytime. Very warm.

It's hot, actually. Everybody just look at the camera. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.