Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 28 - Fish Holes

Episode Date: December 6, 2021

Vodka enemas, mega THC gummies - holy s**t, Park After Dark is getting f**ked up today! The Boys chat about a really s**tty doctor, f**ked Christmas gifts, and how to bang a mermaid. Also: Mark your calendars for December 17 - the Boys have something special for ya...

Okay boys, I was talking to the doctor. Mm-hmm. And he recommends I give you a vodka enema. What? Yeah. Is that... Who? Is that ass or the other one?

Yes, Ricky. I was going to say it might be a vessel, but no, that's not different. No, it's your ass. Who's getting this? You are. Why? The doctor said you need a vodka enema. You're full of shit.

No, get your... Spread your grits. Not happening. Spread your grits. I'm going to give you a vodka enema. You put her in it right there. And then you squeeze. You don't even need a funnel.

You know what? That's not going to happen. It's kind of like that thing you used. What's the stuff you put in your gas for the winter? Gas line antifreeze. Yeah. Gas line antifreeze. Muscle stabilizer. So you know what what i tried these fucking it's called atomic wheelchair gummies

because i've been just like buying tons of them yeah and it's round like a pizza so i'm thinking okay cut it up into 10 pieces ate one didn't realize that it's 1,000 milligrams for the whole thing. So each piece is 100 fucking milligrams. That must have been a good ride. No, it's just happening. Like it's all that's what you just ate about 45 minutes ago. Are you sponsored by them or something? Well, I'm just getting free gummies here and there.

But these ones are, these are too much, man. These are like out of my league. Yeah, that seems a lot. It feels like I'm in a fucking wheelchair. 1,000 milligrams in one gummy? Wow. And it's about this big. I'll do the whole fucking thing.

I can't believe it. Ooh, it's got the... You know what? If you could do all... We should do a test. You've got to eat... If you can eat a whole fucking thing of these things, you're the man. 1,000 milligrams, that's a whole gram of THC.

Is it? A thousand milligrams is. Wow. That's one gram of pure THC. All right, I'll tell you this. Put your mouth where your money is, and if we do something before Christmas that's pretty crazy, I'll do it. You're going to eat a whole fucking puck of this wheelchair shit. You'll only live once.

All right, man. I'm a human hamster. You test shit on. Let's do stuff. He's Ricky the human hamster. Take some shit that we can do, like tests we can do with him on 1,000 milligrams. Wheel. Hamster wheel.

Okay, hamster. Let's put him in it. Can you make a hamster wheel? Oh, I absolutely can make it. Imagine him fucking running all fucked up. And we'll have a show with the little jingle. He's Ricky the Human Hamster. Yeah.

There should be a lot of test shit on hamsters. That's not right. Why not? Welcome to the perk after the dark. It is not dark anymore. And here we are in the perk. Oh, boy, I haven't got the yawns. Man, we've're gonna get our

second win here it's december the three it's december can you believe that that's it's like what 28 days to christmas 28 days dude not 28 reggie it's 25 minus three oh i did 25 plus three. 22 days to Christmas. It's three weeks to Christmas and I'm feeling pretty low. Oh, fuck. I gotta get my socks and scrub my toes. What do you got? What?

What are you checking out, man? Just emails, man. This guy. What? Okay, he said, don't, make sure you fucking all right great he just gave me a warning about these fucking stupid edibles that i'm on man a little too late huh well yeah it just came as a push oh should we tell the people what we're doing for christmas no with the cameo thing do it what are we doing the came thing. We're on the cameo machine. What's cameo?

You don't remember this? No, man. Do I remember? Cameo. People can pay money and they tell us what they want us to say to their people for Christmas. And we say it and we make money. All right. That sounds good.

You did the fucking deal with them. Aren't we also doing like a Christmas extravaganza? A what? Yes, we're doing a live Christmas broadcast as well. We're doing a live broadcast. Another one of those fucking things? Yes. Like we did last time? Yes.

Oh, man. Try not to call anybody names this time. I thought I was on the air. The thing is with these gummies, they're great because you don't thought I was, you know what? I'm on the air. Because the thing is with these gummies, they're great because you don't got to smoke, you know, weed and it fucks up your lungs and shit. But you can't, I mean, I'm not used to this. Well, the problem was it was supposed to be a lot shorter than someone hit that telephone pole

and fucked up the internet. So we didn't pace ourselves very well. Right. All right, can we send a cameo to this doctor in India and tell him he's fucked? We can. So people got to go to cameo. You just get the app, the cameo app,

and you punch in our name, and there we are. And you go click, and then we say hi to you. What's the deal in India? This fucking doctor, man, he eats cow shit. I've heard that. And he's saying it's good for you. It's good for the body. No, I'm not a doctor, man, he eats cow shit. I've heard that. And he's saying it's good for you. It's good for the body. No, I'm not a doctor, and I'm going to call a fucking bullshit on you.

Why, man? It's like cow shit tea or cat tea. You know what? Cow shit's really good for growing mushrooms. Well, yeah, you don't want to eat the fucking things. Well, I guess you do eat a bit. But you don't want to eat the fucking actual turds. He's on a talk show with a pile of shit in his hands eating it.

Oh, yeah. See, he's not a doctor. He's gone off the fucking deep end. He's not a doctor. But, you know, it says it's, you know, you get cancer or COVID, eat shit. Eat cow shit. Oh, of course. Who doesn't know that?

You get cancer, just get a big mouthful of fucking warm cow shit. And it looks great. It's runny. Any science looks great. It's running. Any science behind it? No, man. Here, I'll just suck. No, Ricky the man's lost his fucking mind. He's a doctor, man.

He's a fucking doctor. What day are we doing the broadcast, Ricky? The live thing. Did we figure it out? No. Or maybe we did. I don't know. Did we?

It's like December 17th. You know what? I think it's the 17th. 17th? I'm. Did we? It's like December 17th. You know what? I think it's the 17th. 17th? I'm going to call it. Okay, December 17th. Am I going to be on it? Make sure you have the Swearin' At App.

I'm not going to be here. Because it's going to be live. Where the fuck are you going to be at? I don't know, man, but 17th is... Oh, are you at Muscle Camp? That's not... No, that's the 14th. Oh, yeah, that's the 14th.

There's no fucking muscle camp going on. What would muscle camp be? You just go there with muscles and you just rub each other's muscles and talk about muscles all day? Caldunga has played a big part in Indian culture. So over in India, not only him, but everybody's eating cow shit. I thought they washed their kids with piss, but maybe that was a different country. They're drinking piss, too.

Piss is supposed to be good for you. Maybe we don't know what they know. I don't know. Or they wash their kids in piss. Who does? I thought I read that in the National Geographic when I was a little fella. Piss might take a layer off you, you know.

If you got, you know, a layer of funk on you, the piss might cut through it because it's acidic. I need to know more before I start inhaling piss and cow shit. Guess what they call it?

Go-burr. Go-burr. They said, you know, it's all right. You should not be feeding kids go-burr. That's what they're saying.

But yeah, you're an adult. It's a shit-burr and it makes all right. It's like an energy bar. You should not be feeding kids. Go bar. That's what they're saying. But yeah, you're an adult. It's a shit bar. It makes you go. Bow down. It's a shit energy bar. Here, have a go bar. I'll get you going. They just get a big cow patty and they slice it into strips, package it up.

Go bar. I wonder if there's a video of this doctor, like, right behind a cow's ass, and he's just like, you remember that two-cup thingy or one-cup? Yeah. Two girls, one cup. He's just getting sprayed shit down his throat. He's like, oh, yes, I'm healthy. My fucking body and mind are at A1.

My body and mind are perfectly... Keep it going there, cow. Now just keep pumping that shit in my mouth. That's fucked. People are fucked. What would a commercial be for Go-bar, if we were just keep pumping that shit in my mouth. That's fucked. People are fucked. What would a commercial be for Gold Bar? We were making a Gold Bar commercial. Feeling a little down and sick these days?

We got a fucking answer for you, my friend. So you should say that. You ask the question. Ask the question again, and I'll do my part. Okay, how are you feeling today, sir? Feeling a little run down lately, Ricky? Go bird! Yeah, but you wouldn't...

So you're going to be the cow. No. And you're going to shit in somebody's mouth. That's a good effect. Oh, well, you got me confused here, man. Need a little get up and go? Go bird, shit bird. Shit down your throat, you'll feel better. Confused here, man. Need a little get up and go? Go, bear. Shit, bear.

Shit down your throat, you'll feel better. And now a new shit jerky. Oh, shit jerky would be awful. What if he fries it up and puts, like, you know, herbs and shit in it and make it taste better? No. There's already herbs in it. A little bit of piss. There's all kinds of herbs in it.

Piss and herbs and fucking clover. Yeah, if you sent the cows into, like, a little garden of oregano, maybe it's not that bad. You're still eating shit. A little field of garlic. It's coming out of its ass. Yeah. It's good.

Feed them garlic and some, you know, some rosemary. Oh, yeah, a little rosemary would be nice. A little cumin in there. Just let them feed on that and then get a plate right under their hole, lift their tail, hold the plate there. Randy, you know what? We should do this for Randy. You should.

I'm sure you can make a fucking pile of shit these are good, with rosemary and stuff. Huh? I don't think you can. It's going to still taste like shit. What if it made him healthy? It might. Well.

I mean, I guess. If it did, I might start eating shit. Did you hear about this, uh, this new Australia horse shit? You're lucky you don't live there, bud. What's going on? Trying to ban fucking outside cats unless they're on a little, what do you call it, a rope, I guess, or a leash. Oh, they don't want you to leash the cats, do they? No, you can't leash a kitty. It's not right.

Well, that's what they're doing in Australia. They're saying the fuckers are killing too much wildlife. Who are? The kitties? Yeah. A lot of wild kitties are killing all kinds of birds and other wildlife. Well, that's what they do. You can't stop them. Cycle of life. What do you mean more? They've got to be an indoor kitty or on a tether.

Well, oh, so they can be... Just if you're taking them out for a walk. No, you can't let your cat out of the fucking house. Oh, that's... No, that doesn't... No, that's... I have free-range kitties. My kitties are not... I mean, range kitties. My kitties are not.

I mean, my kitties don't wreak havoc either. They're very well managed. Oh. These fucking. They have vulture bees now? Fucking. Vulture bees? Yeah, they eat meat.

Meat eating bees. From rod and carcasses. And then they make like this. It's honey, but it's like this sludgy shit honey. Is it any good? Me honey. It's a whole but it's like the sludgy shit honey. Is it any good? Meat honey. It's an old pile of meat honey. It definitely wouldn't be as sweet and tasty as pollen honey, I can't imagine. You're eating an old rotten chicken.

Old rotten meat honey. Cow dung or meat honey? What would you guys... Cow dung drizzled in meat honey. Oh, Jesus. Is it good for you? It's a fucking... With a cow patty with a meat honey reduction.

Bob's, I got a little bit of a quiz for you here, bud. Johnny Cash. He had a younger brother. Johnny Cash? Johnny Cash. He had a younger brother named... Tommy Coyne. Close.

Close, man. He may have been... His name was Tommy Cash. Really? Yeah, man. He may have been. His name was Tommy Cash. Really? Yeah, man. I'm fucking clear voyance. Okay, you know what? You're what?

All right. Clear voyance. In 1965, old Tommy Cash released a fucking song. Do you know what the title of it was? Yes. What? Tractor Killed My Dog. No.

I don't know. It's pretty fucked. Let's hear it. I guess it could be. Johnny is my brother. No, and then me asserting the fight. I don't know. Johnny Cash sucks.

No, I didn't walk the line. Ooh. What a fuck thing to do, huh? Yeah. Wow. I guess that's why old Tommy Cash didn't really... I gotta find it, man. This is gonna take a minute.

I didn't walk... So Johnny Cash is like, because you're mine, I walked the line. He's like, I didn't walk the line. I didn't walk the line, meaning he was out banging everything and getting drunk. Yep.

And then put a fucking...per on his musical career. Tommy Cash. I didn't walk the line. Okay, boys, we're going to hear it. If it's anything like I walked the line, motherfuckers got some fucking balls. This is the world's first reusable cotton swab. Fuck off.

Reusable cotton swab? Oh, that's just... Jesus Christ! Oh, yeah! I had some of those. Why do you pick a fucking thing like that of air wax here? Jesus Christ! Fuck off! Fuck off!

Fuck off! Tommy. I didn't walk the line, man. I didn't walk the line, man. I'm sorry I didn't make you happy. He sounds like Johnny. A little bit. You gave me every chance, but I was blind. Sounds, yeah, he definitely sounds like Johnny.

Let's hear the next, let's hear the chorus. All right, here we go. Just tell them I didn't walk the line. No, I didn't walk the line. And you're no longer mine. I know that I love you. Can I turn this off now? Yeah.

So what came first, that song or Walk the Line? This came out in 1965, man. When did Walk the Line come out? I don't fucking know, man. These are important facts. It's actually not a bad jam. Well, if you want to fucking split your breasts, I guess. It's too depressing, that song, man.

Come on. It's not that depressing. It's just a regular old country song. See that fucking, that plane, the Ryan airplane? You're into planes and shit. Hit a flock of herons. Heron? Yeah, like, you know those big fucking birds?

Oh, I thought you meant the fish. That's herring. 1957. Okay, so he did sort of fuck them around. I walked the line come out in 1957. That's a fucking long time ago. And then this other one. I didn't know that.

I didn't walk the line came out in 65. You got to look this thing up, though, man. This plane hit a flock of fucking herrings. The whole wind, what do you call it? Shield. Okay. Wind screen. Yes, thank you what do you call it? Shield. Okay. Wind screen. Yes, thank you.

Just covering him. Blood and guts. Anyway, somehow they landed. There was flames shooting out of the fucking thing, but they did land the cocksucker. That'd be scary the fuck out of you. Blood everywhere. You can't see a fucking thing. Flames.

Yeah. I wonder if they got a cockpit camera. Oh, I hope so. What do I look up? Ryanair, bird strike. Ryanair. Flock of herons, not flock of seagulls. A flock of herons?

Yeah. Just Ryanair crash. Ryan? Bring it up. Ryanair blood. Ryanair? What the fuck is that? It's an airline.

Ryanair flame blood. Don't search Ryan flame blood. Flock of Aaron? Just Ryan Air crash. Bird strike. Bird strike. Man, I don't know. I didn't know that you were going to look it up.

I meant that he could look it up later. But yeah, it's a fucking crazy picture. It's like a goddamn murder. Okay, Ryan Air. Of the hair and bird strike. Yeah. That's her. That's her. That's it, man. Bird strike. I got the hair and bird strike. Yeah. That's her. That's it, man.

Bird strike. I'm going to do it. I got a video. All right. This is going to be fucking. Just video? I'm hoping. I hope not, maybe.

I don't know why I was so excited about that. What the fuck is going on here? These fucking ads. I don't. You know what? I don't have the ability to do this right now in the meantime while you're trying to search that up king no not king kim john moon yes kim jong-un he just banned leather jackets so that citizens won't copy his look

leather jackets he wears a leather jacket he's got a long leather trench coat fucking rights he does nobody else can look like me so that guy really is fucked if you were the is it a president or what is he he is i don't know he's just if you were him would you ban like black t-shirts and shit so nobody can look like you what ban black t-shirts what shit so nobody can look like you. What? Ban black t-shirts? What the fuck you talking about? And would you ban gyms? No, man.

It's for everybody. What kind of fucking crazy cocksucker would do that? He's, you know what? We should sit down and talk to that motherfucker and say, hey, you know what? You want to fucking change?

Dennis Rodman does. Why? Like, man, you could be like the greatest fucking guy in the world. We can do it for, like, a million bucks. We can fix him? We can fix that guy. I think so, too.

He just needs to smoke a joint. And, you know, fucking say, lighten up, dude. Kim Jong-un probably has every drug known to man at his disposal. He seems way too fucking angry to have smoked. Jesus, what the fuck? Oh, yeah. He seems way too fucking angry to have smoked. Jesus fuck. Oh, yeah.

You got to stop doing these fucking ads, man. Turn off your workout mix. It's not my workout mix, man. Whoa. Julian's workout, and that's your cardio mix, is it? Uh. Ooh. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Ooh. Boom, boom, ba-dum, boom.

Ooh, uh, uh, uh. Bench press. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Curls. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Lats. Uh, uh, uh, uh. What did you do?

Lats? Yeah, I don't even know what lats are. All right, this would fucking suck. This cocksucker in Hawaii gets arrested. They think he's somebody else. So they throw him into a mental institution. And he's like, it's not me, you stupid fucks. So they get tired of listening to him trying to say it's not me like most criminals do.

So they drug the fuck out of him. He spent two years in a fucking mental institution in Hawaii before they finally realized it was the wrong guy. How many years? Two years. Drugged out of his fucking mind. Oh, man. It's so annoying. The real dude was already in prison in Alaska.

All right. Some people might like that. Can you fucking imagine? Would you enjoy that? Being all fucked up on all these drugs? No, he's like comatose because he wouldn't shut the fuck up and say, it's not me, you got the wrong fucking guy. And they're like, just drug this fucking... So they drugged him.

Did you ever see Cuckoo's Nest? Yeah, one of the greatest movies of all time. No, I haven't. Would you like to hang out with all those fucking crazy people? I would enjoy it. It would be a time, man. I'm telling you. With McMurphy.

It'd probably be better to be at home, though, no? Well, if you're fucking throwing in there, you'd have to just go with it, man. People don't realize who was in the movie, how many great stars. That's a fucking, that's one of the birds. That's what's left of him. You get fucked over pretty good. You see his little foot? He's stuck right in there?

You see a wing and a foot, I think. That's about it. Oh, the windshield was totally red. Oh, the windshield looks like natural-born killers, man. That's what that is. I thought it was photococked.

No. It's not photococked. What were we just talking about? Been seen in asylum? Yes. Been seen in asylum. Cuckoo's nest.

Danny DeVito. See that? Christopher Lloyd. Weird little fucker. Well, obviously Jack Nicholson. Yeah. But people forget that Danny DeVito, he was the little weird guy that didn't want to give up his cigarettes.

It was the other weird guy that was... That's what you're talking about. Yeah. That's a messy fucking windshield right there Look at that fucking I should try to look out that to land Whoa Jesus Murphy

I'm surprised it didn't break the fucking windshield Wow man that's a lot of guts Huh? That's a lot of heaven guts We're fucking in December boys So I found some weird Christmas gifts That you can say yay or nay to, I guess. Oh, man. Musical toilet paper rolls.

No. It's a weird one. What songs does it play? I'd have to find out. Cleaning your arse for Christmas. See, there you go. That'd be good. I didn't walk the line.

Imagine if that actually played on the toilet. I wiped your ass good. I didn't walk the line. Imagine if that actually played on the toilet. I wiped your ass. But I didn't walk the line. Because I got class. I wiped your ass. Bacon-scented wrapping paper. Why? Bacon-scented wrapping paper?

I better hope the fuck you don't own a dog. Yeah. That'd be a bad one. This is a fucking bizarre. I want a beer koozie fishing pole. So it's a beer koozie and it's got a little

reel on the side of it you can drop the hook into the water and fish with it. Really? Is that necessary? A beer koozie fishing rod. I don't think they're

going to sell many of those. That's a fucking terrible idea. The light up peen Santa sweater. I'd buy one of those. It's, you know, just an ugly Christmas sweater, but it's got LED lights. Boys, my hands are stoned. I've got big tans.

They're fucked. Maybe you're stroking out. Are they numb? No, man, they're just, they're fucked. Are they completely numb? Yeah, man. You might be stroking out. You should go to the bathroom right now and have a good time.

I'm not going to go to the bathroom. You won't even know it's you. That's what's so good about it. Yeah, you can pretend it's some stranger. Remember Ralph? When we were growing up, he used to sit on his hand. Yes. It was the best way to do it.

Yeah. How about, no, how about you just bang instead of doing that? Andrew Jackson's parrot was kicked out of the president's funeral for swearing. That's cool. Poop soap on a rope? I don't think that's a great idea. No, no. No more talking about that shit.

Cheese carving of a cell phone. That's a weird gift. A cheese carving of a cell phone. What type of cheese? Do we know? It looked like cheddar. It was orange. No, I mean if it was a nice

Parmigiano-Reggiano or something. I guess this year dog goggles are a big thing. Dog goggles. Yeah. I've made kitty goggles before. That's what you'd have to wear. This other weird trend is baby hand candles. So there's like little tiny wrinkly hands, but they might have a piece on or give them

the finger. Why are they baby hands? Yeah, it's a a big trend this year. What the fuck are you looking up, man? Weird fucking Christmas gifts, 2021. Boys, I think I got the diabetes. Well, I think I'm having a sugar crash. Oh, this is a good idea.

It's a toothbrush that gets all your teeth at once. What? Yeah, it's shaped like a thing. You just put toothpaste on the whole thing and go. Those have been around a while, Ricky. Really? What? Yeah, it's shaped like a thing. You just put toothpaste on the whole thing and go... Done! Those have been around a while, Ricky. Really? It's a plate and you just put it in.

Some of them you just put toothpaste in it. You stick it in and turn it on and it goes... Oh, so it does top and bottom at the same time. Yeah. I need one of those. Done. Because the amount of time I spend brushing my teeth is insane. Oh, fuck you, boys.

You know how we like to talk about Hitler every now and then because he was a fucking crazy motherfucker. In 1939, his nephew wrote an article called Why I Hate My Uncle.

Good. He came to the U.S. and fucking joined the Navy. Moved to Long Island. You should get one of these. Boss, what are you doing? Yawning. You should get one of these for your kitty cat.

It's a Christmas tree cat cape. What? It's a Christmas tree cat cape. You tie it around your kitty's neck, and he's got a little Christmas tree cat cape. Oh, see? That would be adorable. It's pretty cool. And these I'm going to try.

Pop rocks with pot in them. Ooh. Pop pot. Moon rocks, they in them. Ooh. Pot pot. Moon rocks, they should be called. Send you right to the fucking moon. See that? Where do you get those? Moon rocks.

Where do you get them? You got to search it up in your smart box. I don't know. What is it called? Pop rocks with pot in them. Pot, okay. Amazon. Maybe those won't be as powerful.

This fucking thing I'm on right now. Who got born on December 3? Who's Andy Williams? I don't know. Oh, Moon River. Moon River. It's a river by the moon. Johnny Ozzy Osbourne. You didn't know his name was John.

John Osbourne is Ozzy's name? Yeah. That can't be right. How does fucking China own all the pandas in the world, man? You know, they fucking rent out pandas for a million bucks a year. That's a business. Rent them out to who? People don't want them, man.

Zoos, a million bucks a year. So I want a panda. It's a million. A million bucks. You want two. We're going to take two. So that's two million bucks a year. Is there want a panda. It's a million. A million bucks. You want two. We're going to take two. So that's two million bucks a year. Is there a discount for bulk rentals? Say I

want ten pandas. Do I get a deal? I don't know, man. No, I don't think so. A million bucks each. Mickey Thomas, he was in You know what I'd do? I'd rent two pandas and let them fuck. Then you get your own panda, give the two back. It's not that easy. Cash you. It's not that easy, man.

Fuck you, I've got my own panda now. Didn't you fucking follow the news? They were trying to get these two pandas to bang? No. I think they had to, like, fucking, they had to, like, they had a big screen TV or something with panda porn to try to get them all warmed up. Panda porn?

Or maybe that was, maybe that's not it. Maybe you were watching panda porn. I'm just fucked. Maybe I was. Maybe that's not it. Maybe you were watching panda porn. I'm just fucked. Maybe I was. Maybe, but. Maybe you were watching panda porn. Fucking Daryl Hannah. How bad did you want to stick that little thing in her tail when she was a mermaid?

She was a hot, man. Probably still is. Stick it in her tail. I don't know. There's got to be something down in that area. How many people had conversations about how the fuck would you bang a mermaid? How many? Fish have holes.

But do mermaids. But where's the mermaid's hole? Probably in a similar location. No, it's probably under a scale. Like, probably a scale lifts up, revealing the entry point. That makes sense. It's probably, you know, scale, flap. Yeah, but then Julianne Moore also got born.

They're the exact same age, born at the same day. Who? Daryl Hannah and Julianne Moore? Yeah. Both. Let's go back to begging the mermaid for a second. Both excellent actresses. Okay.

So you're sitting there, you're getting things going, and you're, like, lifting up scales. Here's the problem with the fucking mermaid. Her tail's this. It should be this way. If it was this way, then it would either be at the front or at the back. Where it's this way, you're going to be doing some side banging, I guess. No. No, I'm thinking I'm starting to lift up scales trying to find my way in there.

I'm not getting that excited. Well, you know what? If you get too frustrated, there's always a move. Okay. Okay. That fixes that problem, I guess. No, that's not the solution. Well, if the mermaid doesn't want anything going on with the mouth.

I'm staying away from mermaids. The mermaid could say, I have a perfectly usable entrance. A good rule of thumb is just to avoid them. Yeah, but then when you see, like, giving birth to your child, you're in love with this mermaid,

then do you ever see fucking fish? Play eggs? Yeah, man. Same deal or just one? I don't know about a mermaid. It's complicated.

They don't have a lot of science. And then some fish have to go up around the eggs and jizz everywhere and then boom. No, you still have to do that. Once she sprouts her eggs, you still got to go and all over them.

Okay. All right. Don't marry a mermaid. That's a big problem. It's fucking complicated. It'd be the same as trying to fucking marry a shark. Mermaids would be a little bit. Long tell Jordan.

Did you have a crush on him? I forget. On who? I don't know. It was Montel Williams that you liked. Montel Williams? What the fuck are you talking about, man? Who's Montel Jordan, the talk show host?

He's an American R&B singer. Oh. This is how we do it. Oh, you had a crush on him. That's how we go, and it's Friday night. You. Oh, you had a crush on him. That's how we do it. It's Friday night. You know who I do have a crush on? Tiffany Haddish?

No, novelist Patricia Highsmith. Because she kept 300 small snails in her handbag. She used to take them to parties. What a time she'd be, huh? 300 snails. A snail lady. 300 snails in her little bag. Hey, everybody.

Snail party. Lil Baby. Lil Baby. Igor Lerionov. Who's Lil Baby? He was awesome. I'm guessing Lil Baby's a rapper. I'm guessing.

Okay. I doubt he's actually a Lil Baby. Well, it's been a time. It's been a time. It's been a time. It's been a time. It's been a time. Are we done? I need to go do something. I've got to be.

You need to go do your business on some mermaid eggs. No, man. I can't be around people right now for a little while. You fucked up. No. This is. You know what? Just let me tell you.

100 grams is not that bad. 100 milligrams is not that bad. You just got to pretend that you didn't do it, and then you'll be fine. Yeah, but my heart's fucking pounding like a motherfucker. Maybe you should muscle up. Maybe you need to muscle up to the next level. It's Friday. You'll probably be fucked until about Sunday.

You know what it could be? Sunday. You could be molting. You could be molting. You're about to shed, and bigger muscles are going to come through. I can't be like this for two more fucking days, man. It's a day and a half. You might be muscle malting.

Fucking Jesus. Go work out and forget about it. Molten steel. Stern Julian. Julian in molten steel. Being too high? A lot of people are like, oh, I hate being too high. I'm like, why?

Some people don't like it. Just go with it, my friend. Where the fuck go? I'm okay. I'm all right. Tune in next week to see if Julian ever comes down again. I hope he doesn't. I don't think I'm gonna, man. Awesome.