Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 28 - Pussyvale, Nova Scotia

Episode Date: December 7, 2020

On the latest protein-filled f**kburger of fun: Julian plays Guess the F**king Thing, Bubbles attempts to solve the monolith mystery, and Ricky's having trouble getting word learnt! Also: The Boys come up with a plan to get free porn!

You cocksucker, why can't I fucking fold this right? Fucking glasses broke. Jesus Christ, boys, check this out. Why can't I fucking fold this right? Fucking glasses broke. Jesus Christ, boys. Check this out. Guess what that is. An egg? Your mother?

No, not the egg. That's an egg, but the other thing. Hold it up so I can see it. That's booger? Oh, fuck. It's huge, man. That's a... That's a... Booger.

Edamame bean. No. Oh, good guess. No huge, man. That's a edamame bean. No. Oh, good guess. No, what is that? What? An edamame bean. What the fuck is that? Hold it in here again so I can see it. Edamame.

That's a Granny Smith apple. Nope. What is it? I'm not telling you. Don't be a dick. Don't start being a dick. You gotta guess. You gotta guess. There's so many fucking things. It's an edamame bean.

It's a mi-mi-bean. No. Is it a bean? It's not a bean. Did it come out of somebody's body? Is it a pea? Nope. It's not a pea. Did it come out of someone's body?

What, like a Martian's fucking testicle or something? No, like did somebody shit it out? No, nobody shit that thing out, man. It's growing. There. Glasses repaired. Go, man. Is it a...

Duct tape! Is it an alien? It's not an alien, man. Is it growing out of the ground? It's growing out of the ground. Is it a vegetable? No. Fruit? Yes. Fuck. It's a Granny Smith the ground. It's growing out of the ground. Is it a vegetable? No. Fruit?

Yes. Fuck. It's a Granny Smith apple. A ground apple. That, my friends, is a grape. They're doing, like, how does that happen? Bring it in here again. That's a fucking grape, man.

Yeah, I've seen those big, giant fucking grapes. That big, though. So what? Who cares? They're probably gemotic, like, Indian engineers. Well, yeah, they're growing them in fucking Japan. Gemotically? Look, still, that's it inside.

Yeah. No, they're good, man. I've had them. Fucking down at the superstore there sells those fucking things. They are fucking good, too, so they're definitely not normal. They're mad. They're like the size of an egg. Well, they're not an egg.

Not that big. They're fucking about this big an egg. Well, they're not an egg. Not that big. They're fucking about this big. No, those are nothing compared to this thing. No, that's in the palm of his hand, Ricky. It's that big. It's a huge fucking grape, man. Let me see it again. It's not that fucking big.

That's a fucking egg, and that's a fucking grape. Yeah, but that's a small egg. That's massive. Either he's got gigantic fucking hands, or that's a small egg. That's a quail egg. So it's optical delusion. This is not possible. Did I say that right? Optical delusion?

Optical illusion. Illusion, Ricky. Ill or el? Ill. Illusion. You could say an optical delusion. You could have... What's an optical allusion? Allusion? Well, if you allude to something, it means you're hinting towards it. So an optical hint would be an optical allusion. An optical delusion would be... Delusional. You're delusional. You dilute

it. No, that's an optical delusion. That's if you dilute an illusion so it's not as powerful. It's a weaker illusion. That's an optical delusion. Illusion is a complicated word. A lot of things can happen with it. There's a lot of shuns. Delusion, illusion. So I guess, has it started now?

Has what started? The fucking thing after dark. The park, Bub's. Oh is it? Yeah, what's going on here, man? I'm trying to make a world record airplane, but. World record. Okay, welcome to the park after dark.

It is no longer dark, and we are here semi-fucked up, semi-not fucked up today I'm pretty fucked up Ricky that looks like a that need you need the wings up in the there man stay I know I'm just saying man I'm just saying fuck smoke another one bubs so those monolith is fucking disappearing, reappearing. Yeah, what do you think, Bubz? What the fuck? Is it, like, man-made?

Is it something from outer space? What is it? Nobody knows. Well, but this photographer guy saw four guys fucking take one down. Yes, he did. Put it in wheelbarrows and take it. But were they people or were they the government? Yeah, that's the thing.

Four hikers, they pulled it down right quick and put it in a thing and took it away. But who's to say the Pentagon didn't send them just dressed up like hikers? Or they're alien shapeshifters that came down and were like, we better get our fucking thing out of here. No. Form of a human hiker. And then another one showed up in Romania. Is it Romania? That one looked sketchy. You could see the fucking spot

walls and shit and all those fucking grinder-like things. But did the aliens go, let's make this one look, you know, shitty. It definitely wasn't aliens. Let's make this one look, you know, shitty? It definitely wasn't aliens. Let's make this one look shitty. Trying to throw the fucking investigation off. Put a little twist in it. That's what I like to do. Well, it's something like the crop circles.

We don't know, but we do know the crop circles. Those were fake. Crop circles in the carpet. Remember when we met the guy that did that? We met the guy that invented met the guy that I'm Rob So we did he had his courage we got his courage. I got his card somewhere What a fucked up thing to invent maybe he did the fucking monolith man Not good, I can't fucking believe it's December boys. It's gonna be a weird Christmas coming up

Well, it's not gonna be much of a crew don't expect much from me from Chris for Christmas boys I don't have even hang out over Christmas. Don't have the cash to spend on gifts and shit. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Fucking COVID Christmas bullshit. Everywhere you go. But the vaccine is coming. Those fuckers over in the UK are getting the vaccine maybe this week.

Yeah. The Pfizer one. The Pfizer one. The Pfizer one. We're not going to get it, boys. Did you see how they spell Pfizer, Ricky? Surprised you didn't comment on that yet. How do they spell it? Pfizer.

F? No. P-F-I-Z-E-R. Whoa, come again? P-F-I-Z-E-R. Pfizer. What's the P do? Minds its own business.

Why wouldn't it be P-H? What's going on here, man? You can't have a fucking P-F. That's not even workable. You gotta have a letter in between. No. That's a P-F-I-Z-E-R. P-F-I-Z-E-R. Don't be spitting your COVID on me, Ricky. letter in between. No. That's a puff. Puffizer. Puffizer.

Don't be spitting your COVID on me, Ricky. What a fucking stupid spelling. I know. They can't allow that. You think people will trust in them to fucking give them vaccines? The people that says the companies get registered at, no. They'd say, no, no, no. You can't do this. This is gonna fuck people up. It's one or the other, bud.

Fuck. See, I should be running that company. You can't fucking allow companies to be called fucking weird names that you can't pronounce. You don't look at a sign and just have to guess. Like, you would never look at the sign and say, that's fucking Pfizer over there. No. Yeah, like, remember I brought that package of cock soup that time? Pfizer. You wouldn't think they'd allow cock soup on the market. Cock soup. Remember I had that package of cock soup,

but it had a roaster on it? That's kind of... It was like chicken bouillon. Bouillon. Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. You're going to be just fine. I never said he wasn't, Ricky.

Well, you're talking about turning him into a soup. That would be a real tasty soup now, wouldn't it? Ah! Styrofoam. Styrofoam, fuckin'... Fucking feathered... Are those real feathers? That, my friend, is not styrofoam. That is stuffed with mozzarella cheese. That's not stuffed, Ricky.

Just gonna heat it up. It's like a big fucking... ...che cheese stick. How did you get his head reattached? That's his brother, bud. Oh, this is a different chicken. What, that's a different one? This is a fucking cock. The other one was a hen. I think.

Maybe not. Now you got his feathers coming out. Which one do you prefer? The cock or the hen? He wants his feathers. I like the color of this guy. The other one was just boring white.

He prefers cocks. This guy's good. Where did that come from? Oh, that's my cap. I thought he just shit out a cap. Did you guys know there was a fucking town or a village in Austria called Fucking? Yes. Fuck!

How did I never know that or ever go there? I should have been the goddamn mayor. Fuck! And now they've got to change it to Fugging. Fugging. I saw an interview with the mayor or whatever, and they're like, do you know, do you understand what the name, he goes,

I obviously know what the name means in other languages, but that's not what fucking means here, he said. What does it mean, do you know? Just the name of the town. Doesn't mean fucking. But did you know P the name of the town doesn't mean fucking but did you know Pornhub was giving them free premium porn they're giving to the people of fucking another place called tits in Germany what yeah and big big beaver in Pennsylvania big beaver Pennsylvania so if you want to have free premium porn from Pornhub

Big Beaver, Pennsylvania. So if you want to have free premium porn from Pornhub... Move to Big Beaver. Yeah. They get it as well. Yep. Does Fogging still get it, or did they get it renewed? I think once they change the name. Well, fuck, you know, we could easily change Sunnyvale a bit to something to get free shit as well.

What would it be called? Gunt? Gunt or... Gunt. Gunt? Gunt. Guntville? Nount. Gunt? Gunt. Gunt-fil? No, let's change it to like, cream pie.

What? Why? Cream pie would be, that would qualify us, wouldn't it? Cream pie. Pearl bracelet. Oh. Pearl bracelet? Bracelet. What's that, Ricky? Were you blasted on someone's wrist?

I forget what it is. We should come up with a good name that would qualify us for free porn. Bangville. Bangville would be what? Bangville would be nice. Anal. Anal.

Analville. No, it doesn't need to be vel, just anal. Where do you live, anal? Analville. What, it doesn't need to be Vail. Just Vail. Where do you live, Anal? Anal-ville. What about Jackin' It? All one word. Jackin' It. Well, we could get away with it with something like,

because you have the cats, Pussy Vail. We can say, cats, fuck off. I like that. People giving you a hard time. Pussy Central. It's like fucking 300 cats running around this goddamn park. Pussy Vale. Pussy Vale. How do we do it?

Pussy Vale and put like maybe, I don't know, a flag with a cat on it? Well, send it to the fucking people that got Pfizer approved for a name and obviously you'll get it approved, fucking idiots. No, that's probably'll get it approved. Fucking idiots. No, that's probably not going to work. We got to talk to someone like downtown, like the mayor or something. We got to talk to the district councillor.

Pussy Vale. Pussy Vale, Nova Scotia. Yeah, that's a very good change. We would definitely get free porn. What about Pussy Wang? Do we want free porn, though? Free premium? Anything's free.

Like, free's good, okay? Anything free is good. Sounds like an addiction waiting to happen. Well, we could probably charge it to people. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. We could split it off. We get the fucking main line coming in free, and then we split it off and charge.

And plus, we'd get lots of people wanting to move here because the place is called Pussy Vale, which is very cool. Pussy Hub. Pussy Hub? It's the hub of the pussies. The hub. I don't think... Migrate to. I don't think Porn Hub would like us to change the name to Pussyhub. Well, it kind of works.

Maybe there's already a website called Pussyhub. I bet you there is. Why don't we just call the town Pornhub? There's a good idea. No, man. Well, that might work. That's a good free porn then. Well, if that's the case, let's change the name to fucking Lamborghini. They're not going to give us a Lamborghini because we changed the name of the town.

Now that we're talking about cocks, remember I was reading this footballer, a Russian footballer, got caught masturbating. He was in bed and some video leaked of him jacking his wang. No he didn't. He got in some trouble, I guess, but this pilot flew his passenger jet on a flight path that was talking balls just to fucking give a shootout to him.

People are doing that all over the place. I guess he's getting in trouble for it. People are doing that all over the place because there's software where you can punch in your flight path and then you just go out and the plane flies it, and then it shows up on, like, flight radar. In whatever pattern you flew, people are doing it. Huge, huge cock and balls.

Oh, yeah. People are doing that. Yes, they're doing cock and balls. That's fucked up for, like, a lot of people. Well, there's several pilots that have done it around the world. What other images have they created in the sky? I know the pilot did that hurt over Nova Scotia. I'm talking about, you know.

After the crazy shit. Yeah, that was a good one. That was pretty cool. I think there was a fist. I saw a fist. All right. Somebody did. There was an ass in front of it?

No, Ricky, it was for, like, Black Lives Matter or whatever. Oh. Not somebody getting fisted, Ricky. Ass fist. Jesus, Murphy. And there was one, oh, there was one, they did you, Julian. No, they didn't. But when they tried to do your muscles to scale, they ran out of gas and crashed.

That's real funny, guys. Real funny, buddy. Get it? Not enough gas to fly the muscle pattern. I was going through some shit, and this fucking 59-year-old Russian guy just had a coin removed from his nose. His noose? I can't say noose.

Nostril. Noose. What is wrong with you, Ricky? I don't know. Are you stroking out? He had a coin removed from his nose, and it was in there for over 50 years. What?

When he was six, he shoved the coin up his nose. Why can't you say nose, Ricky? Just say nose. He couldn't get it out. They tried and they tried tried and it just grew. He forgot about it. Just let it fucking sit there. Well, I'm sure he didn't ever forget about it.

Is it worth any money? They removed it and it's all fucked up and there's little things missing. It's fucked. I'd say it's probably worth a lot of money. I mean, it's one of a kind. No, but I mean, is it a valuable coin? Like, was it a, you know, a... No, I think it was like a penny maybe or something shitty.

Oh, well, fuck that. But now it looks cool. Looks like all these worms were taking pieces out of it. The coin? Yeah. Worms. It's all corroded to fuck. It's got to be worth something.

Nose coin. It's not worth anything, Ricky. Jesus, who... It's been his nose for 50 years. You're never going to get another chance to own something like that. But who wants to? People do. If you say you buy it for 200 bucks, then it's worth 300.

And it just keeps going. Nobody wants to buy his dirty old fucking rotted nose coin. I would beg to be different. People don't collect everything. Well, maybe they do. but you'd be hard-pressed. If you took that into Pawn Stars and said, hey, I got this coin that was in my nose for 50 years. Give me 10 grand, please.

I'd be like, holy shit, this is one of a kind for sure. That's why you should. I don't know how you evaluate it. That's why you will never have a job as an appraiser on Pawn Stars. Because wreck would shut you down. Wreck doesn't fuck around. It's one of the few places you could keep a coin where it wouldn't really cause too much problems. You couldn't put it in your anus because it would blockage or it would just be forced out.

Pistol, you'd never get it in. What about your belly button? You could get it in your pisshole. Depends if you're an innie or an outie, I guess. Be tough to do if you're an outie. You wouldn't want it in your ear. No, that would suck. No, you wouldn't be able to hear as well, probably.

Definitely not. Well, here's a good someone that you could take after since you're still single. Who? This bodybuilder just took the plunge with a sex doll. What? Yeah, they were dating for 18 months, and he finally got to marry her.

See, that's fucked. People that marry dolls and shit that are in love with their cars and want to bang them. She did. She looked good. You know, she was in a dress and everything. She had like this reddish hair. Yeah, you would have liked her. Did they have a prenup?

Massive, massive things. Why would I like it? You're a bodybuilder. Yeah, but I don't like like the sex dolls thing. I'm not going to marry a fucking sex doll, man. Why not? Would you? No, but I'm not like, like, the sex dolls thing. I'm not going to marry a fucking sex doll, man. Why not? Would you? No, but I'm not a weirdo like you are.

You're a weirdo. Well, check this guy out. His name is Pretty Mike. And why are you looking up him? Because, you see those ladies? It's a story that popped up. Bring them over. See the ladies?

Six of them? Yeah. Yeah. You might notice that they're. Bring them over. See the ladies? Six of them? Yeah. Yeah. You might notice that they're all pregnant. Yeah. About the same amount. Yeah. They're all pretty Mike's children.

How does that work? He's got, he's. He's got game. He's got game, this guy. And they're all happy. So he's got six ladies. He brought them to a wedding and they were like, holy fuck. Look at pretty Mike. He's got six ladies. He brought them to a wedding, and they were like, holy fuck. Look at Pretty Mike.

He's got six ladies. He wants to marry them, but he can't. Pretty Mike's got six ladies, and they're all the same amount of pregnant. Very beautiful women. Wow. I don't know what... Pretty Mike sounds like he's a bit fucked in the head. He owns a nightclub.

He's got some cash. That's weird. Six baby mamas to be, mothers to be. Well, if he's happy and all the ladies are happy. That's what I'm saying, man. He's got the money to, you know, afford sex ladies and sex kids. Why Pretty Mike? Pretty Mike is not a good fucking name.

It is in Nigeria, man. Oh, he's in Nigeria? He's a Nigerian dude. Why couldn't it be Magnificent Mike or Handsome Mike or Dapper Mike? What's his name? Well, I don't know. Pretty Mike. Do you think that guy could be considered pretty if you're a chick? He's handsome. There you go, Handsome Mike. Handsome Mike. Maybe it doesn't sound right. He is handsome. He's a handsome fella. Maybe it doesn't sound right. He is handsome.

He's a handsome fella. Nice bald head on him. Shiny bald head. Yeah, he's done a lot of shit, man. I wonder if the curtains match the, what's that expression? The drapes? Or does it match the, I don't know. Well, he's bald, Ricky.

He's bald. You mean, has he got a marble floor or carpet? Has he got carpet? Did he install carpet or has he got marble? Smooth. Fuck. Did you hear about this burger and the Japan-ize? The who? Japan-ize.

The what? Let Japan-ize. The what? Let's just say Japan. Why can't you say a word? I don't know what happened to my brain. It's... This fucking burger, Burger King and Japan. Japan. Japan.

Okay. It's crazy. It's over a pound. No bun. It's crazy. It's over a pound. No bun. It's four fucking patties. Two on the top, two on the bottom. And there's like lettuce, pickle, tomato, and shit in between. You just have at it.

So the patties are the buns. It's just a protein dream. Or is the lettuce the buns? No, the lettuce is in the middle, he said. So you grab the bun. Two patties, all your fillings, and two more patties. So the patties are the buns. Bun patty, he said. So you grab two patties. There's all your fillings and two more patties. So the patties are the buns. Bun patty, bun patty, one, two, three.

Japan. Okay, I've got to look. Bun patty, bun patty. Where's it at? It's called the extreme burger. Patty bun, patty bun. Bun patty, bun patty, patty bun, patty bun. 1.12 pounds, I believe, if I remember correctly.

Ricky, I'm shorting out remember correctly. Ricky, I'm short. Now what over here? What did I do? First on the Google list, man. Japan's supreme extreme burger. No bun. Looks good, doesn't it? So it's like you.

No buns. Bob's, come on, man. All protein, no buns. Bob's, come on, man. All protein, no buns. All protein, no buns. That is the burger, Bob. All right, I've got to find a video on this fucking sloppy looking shit. I think your new nickname should be Protein. Fuck off, Bob's.

Hey, Protein. You already got the grumpy, bumpy thing going. What the fuck is going on here? Shut up. I got to skip the ads. Hey, friends. Talk of yours. Hey, talk of yours.

I just got out of the shower because I'm about to go to school. What are you watching here? What are you watching? She's got the burgers out. Pure protein. Dude, I know most of my YouTube... Okay, let's just get to the burger. Is she really about to make a fucking video on a burger?

She's swearing. Of all things in Japan, she chooses... Okay, here we go. How do you even eat this, bro? Are you fucking kidding me? Okay, we gotta go. You guys gotta look at this. Oh my god. Here is your extreme burger in high definition.

Holy shit. It's literally like I can't see much else. There's four patties with some shit in the middle. Wait, is that literally all the tomato? What do you think, protein? Okay, patty. Mouth is watering, but I don't it's a wow there's actually nothing else it's just four patties with like minimal with a fancy name i bet if your muscles could head eyes they'd

be fucking just salivating right now i am drooling that cheese is melting down do for a thumbnail with something like this okay What do you think? What do you think, protein? I gotta see her take a bite. I am. I'm really hungry. My mouth is watering. No carbs, man. Take a fucking bite!

No carbs. Yeah. I'm gonna tell you guys. This was 14 bucks. That's like a little over $3 per patty. Haters are about to get their wish. I feel like I'm about to die on it. Why are we watching this?

I don't know. No, I wouldn't eat it, man. I wouldn't enjoy that. I think two patties, Mike. One on top, one on bottom. I think it'd be too much meat. Remember the one we had in Memphis, Ricky? Remember the burger that had the

Krispy Kreme donuts as buns? that was a good one. Man, I think it had a fucking egg on it if I remember. There was another one we had somewhere

that had grilled cheese buns. Fuck, that was good too. Grilled cheese, cheeseburgers, man. Yeah. That was good, man. I was starving. This woman in the UK

made me fucking jealous. Oh, what a fucking time she had. Except she got cut real bad when she slipped. She, uh... I love that intro. She went into a grocery store and fucking just snapped. And she smashed over 500 bottles of wine and liquor. But then she slipped and fell and cut herself real bad.

But what a time that would have been, huh? Just what the... bottles of wine and liquor. But then she slipped it and fell in and cut herself real bad. But what a time that would have been, huh? Just what the... Is there a video of... Is there a video? Is there a video? Oh, it's gotta be a supermarket, man. Supermarkets have cameras in case people are stealing meat like us.

Super... Supermarket. Woman UK smashed 500 bottles. Supermarket. Super. Woman in the UK smashes 500 bottles. Simple search. 500 bottles smashed? Supermarket meltdown. 500 bottles of wine. Okay.

Here we go. Oh, is it wine? I just know it's booze. What the fuck, man? What's he doing? I got a good snap on here. I got a good snap on. I've been drinking straight vodka pretty.

Fuck, imagine how fun. The noise of it. Just liquid going everywhere. What the fuck, man? What's I got a good snap on here? I got a good snap on. I've been drinking straight fall. I can pretty. Fuck, imagine how fun, the noise of it, and just liquid going everywhere. Oh, fuck. Perfect. Yo. Don't ever get rid of your stress. If you're a lover of good liquor,

warning, if you are a lover of good liquor, you might wanna turn away from this fucking story. Oh, well, don't watch it, Julian. You've been warned. Bubbles and I'll watch it. I don't want to see you tearing up there, Protean. Don't call me Protean. You might be short eight. Whoa.

Oh, Jesus. That was a real fight. Look how fucking awesome that'd be. You crazy fucking lady. Love her. She's taking her time. Fucking get her out of it. No, she looks like she didn't take her time there, man.

Look at all the bottles. She's getting tired. How the fuck did they not stop her before she did 500? I'm so fucking jealous of her. I'm just going to watch her do it. You'd think somebody would have come out with a tranq gun at least. That's what every grocery store needs. Or tackle her.

She'd be fucking tackling. You can't. There's broken glass everywhere. Does her video ever fall down? Fuck. No. Yeah. Yeah, no, this is-

Are they talking to her? This is looping. No, this is just going- Fucking loops. Fucking loops. Loop-de-de-loop-de-de-loop-loop-loop. Oh. Loop-de-de-loop-de-de-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop- Loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop- Loop-loop-loop-loop- Loop-loop-loop-loop- Loop-loop-loop-loop- Loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loop-loopy loop, loop. Oh, loop-de-de-loop, de-de-loop, loop, loop. December 4th, yesterday.

Is it the 4th? Back in 1980 on this day, Led Zeppelin broke up. Oh, for fuck's sake. That was a bad day, man. Yeah, a couple months after Bonham fucking died. Yeah. Fuck!

After he Bonhamed himself. So, I found this. Can't believe I still had it. What is it? It's Led Zeppelin, and this is 1979. They were still together. This is actually Frank Brady's copy. I'm not sure how I came to have it.

Oh, that's Frank's copy. Yeah. Cool. You got some tape on there. Jimmy's really worth a lot of money, man. You got some tape on there. You got some tape on there. Jimmy's on the front. Look at Jimmy Page with his double neck.

Fucking bad. That's decent, Ricky. You be coolin'. Baby, I'm not foolin'. I'm gonna send ya. Fucking Robert Palmer. Yeah. I'm gonna give you every inch of my love.

Gonna give you my love. Guess who was born on December 4th, gentlemen? Who? Crazy Horse. Crazy Horse? Yeah. That's somebody you probably don't want to fuck with. Somebody with that handle.

No. Hey, what's your name? Crazy Horse. Uh, oh man. This is a big one. Chester Greenwood. Okay. What's his deal? Let me give you a hint. He made earmuffs.

Nope. Headphones. He invented fucking earmuffs. He invented them. Yep. Okay. Right. That man, these would not be a fucking thing if it were not for Chester Greenwood.

Well, do you think somebody else might have come up with it eventually, Ricky? Like, oh, fuck, my ears are cold waiting for the bus. I should put something on them. Not sure if he's dead or not, but this is for you, Chester. Keeping all of our fucking ears warm. Cheers to Chester. Chester. Chester Greenwood.

You're a fated motherfucker. You are something else, Chester Greenwood. The man of warm ears. Woo! Can't wait till it's the fucking guy that invented underwear's birthday. Some other people weren't today, too. Jeff Bridges invented the bridge. No, he did not.

Jeff Bridges, that's Lloyd Bridges' fucking brother. Lloyd Bridges? Yeah. Jeff Bridges is in... I love Bo... Dom and Dommer. Bo Bridges? Isn't it Lloyd Bridges?

That's his brother? Bo Bridges. Bo Bridges? How many fucking brothers is there? The Baldwins. Maybe they're all... Are they related to the Baldwins? I'm not talking about the Baldwins.

We're talking about the Bridges. Jeff Bridges was in Dom and Dommer. He didn't invent a bridge. No, that's what I'm not talking about the bald ones, we're talking about the Bridges. Jeff Bridges was in Dumb and Dumber. He didn't invent a bridge. No, that's what I'm saying, but he had a brother named Lloyd, didn't he? No, that was in Dumb and Dumber, Lloyd Christmas. Oh, my fucking Jesus, man. I'm sick of having to look shit up on this thing. I gotta go to bed, boys. I'm done. Jay-Z also got born today.

Jay's? Yep. And Julian, you're going to like this one. Can't wait. Tyra Banks. Yeah. Well, you were and still are a fan of her, are you not? Big time.

Tyra. Yeah. I'd like to see her come and do some dancing. She's tall, man. She's gonna dance right on this table. Boys, do you wanna go downtown? Let's go to the bar. Oh, we can't go to the bar. It's not open.

I think we should go somewhere, boys, because I need to unleash something. Go to the bathroom then. Yes. Nope. We're not doing that again. I need to unleash something different. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ.

Check out those motherfuckers. Oh, man. Fuck, Rick. Yeah. Get those. Fuck, yeah. I thought he had a fucking set of old tires or something in here, man. Is that what I'm smelling?

They smell like straight. Fuck, I feel so bouncy. Let's see if he can, like, bounce across the bridge or something. Maybe jump off, bounce around. Let's go down to the fucking Pete's Fatigue and stand by the banana cart. Oh, man. Fuck the company. That wasn't a good move, man.

Oh, shit, we forgot to do our... The Sunnyvale Snack Company's having a contest to draw their new... design their new chip bags. What? We gotta color a chip bag, man. That's a lot of wasted paper. That's what the paper was for! Now we only got one shot!

The paper has a napkin! I don't have a napkin. It's not my problem anymore. Alright, quick nap, then we're going to the sneaker bar. The sneaker bar? The bar. The sneaker bar? What the fuck is a sneaker bar? We'll find one, I don't know. There's no... they don't exist, man.

I'm napping on your couch. Ten bucks. I'm not paying you ten bucks to nap on the fucking couch. Seven. Ten if you're using a blanket, for sure. How about nine? Is it going to cost me to play fucking......Atari or what? Sign off, somebody. Nope. See ya.

Next week. Time. Then. Bye-bye.