Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 29 - Groundhog Day

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Watch the f**k out, the Boys are higher than f**k today! Before they totally f**kin' trainwreck, they chat about Bowie the lobster, greasy face painting, and get ready to celebrate some awesome borntdays. Plus: Julian falls in love with... a groundhog?!!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. Do it. Do it. Do it. You can do it, man. Do it. Do what? The can do it, man. Do it. Do what? The thing you're going to do. Yeah.

What was the thing you were going to do? I don't know, man. What was I supposed to do? You're going to introduce everything. Introduce what? The fucking thing. Us. This.

The people at the table. A little more big than usual. I, yeah. What in the name of Christ? Gum gums. Gummies in the... But the gummies was in the joint? No.

No, there is the gummies and then the joint. But the gummies are more powerful. And the liquor. And the liquor is just a little... The liquor's the only thing that's holding me on the ground. Me too, man. The liquor's got me strapped to the ground. It's a good grounder.

Keeps you grounded, this shit, man. Okay, so. To recap. Yes. What are we recapping? I don't know, man. I lost it. Have we not talked about anything yet?

We were talking. We were in a crazy conversation for about a half hour and then he turns this thing on and I don't know. So we were. Okay, I don't even know. Welcome to the Pericast of Dark. Nobody knows what's going on here. I can barely talk.

It's alright, man. It's December 8th, isn't it, today? The 8th isn't it today? The 8th I can't stop looking in the lens What? Cause you're fucking big It's called looking down the barrel

That's right buddy In the biz Looking down whose barrel? You look down somebody's barrel? If you're in a porno flick And you were one of the actors You'd be looking down the barrel Of something

You might not want to be Something meaty Maybe you would Maybe you might not want to be. Something meaty. Maybe you would. Maybe you want to. Meaty, beady, big, and bouncy. Meaty, big, and bouncy. What do you think of Chipper's barrel? Shiny.

I just saw you look down at it. I can see the reflection in it. Okay. I can see the reflection. I can't talk either. Okay, so let's pretend like we're fine. Okay. Are we, though?

We're not. Boys, we're not. Look at that, man. This is weird, eh? The way the mouth went on this shark. Yeah, he's got a weird... That's been like that. Randy's doing something with him.

All right, boys, take over. All right. Did you hear about the woman on Frontier Airlines flying back from Florida to Philly? You know what? She got pissed off that she was being made to sit in her assigned seat. Okay.

Wow. What's the fucking big deal? Anyway, she gets up to go to the bathroom. Like, no, no, you can't use the bathroom at this time. She's like, oh, that's all right. Oh, there's piss right here. Hauls down her pants and squats in the aisle in front of a couple kids. People got to see the hoochie.

The hooch? The hooch was out. The hooch was out, man. People started really pissed off. She pulled back up. She threatened to kill a couple people. She threatened to kill people as she was pissing? No, because she would not have pissed.

Pissed on the floor of the airplane. She was going to, but people started freaking out, so she got pissed off, yanked her pants back up, and then threatened to kill a couple people. What the fuck is wrong with people? People are losing on the plane these days, man. They're losing it everywhere. Fucking traffic, it's fucked.

But you know what's good? I'm one of them. A lot of people, when watching UFC fights and stuff, they know how to do the rear naked choke. It's a real easy move. A lot of people are choking people out. There's a problem? Choke them the fuck out.

So just wait. So she pulled her pants down. In front of a couple kids right beside her. Oh, my God. So she had her bird out. Bird was out. The undercarriage was flapping in the wind. Jesus Christ.

It's fucking windy out, boys. I didn't know we were getting a hurricock, sucker. Jesus. Batting down the hatches, as they say. Holy fuck, what's... Oh, man, my flag's flapping. Oh, I thought the fucking end blew off your trailer. No, man.

Oh, my poor flag. That should be a sex move. Love that flag. The what? Blow the end off the trailer. That should be a sex move. Love that flag. The what? Blow the end off the trailer. That'd be quite a move. Hey, hit me with the blow the end off the trailer move. Be serious, Spower.

What would it be? What would that sex move be? Number one, it'd be something you'd see your mother doing because she'd be at the end of the trailer in her room blowing the end off of things. So it's an easy thing to figure out what's the uh force measurement the forest the forest measurements forest force right forest forest Force. Oh, force. Like force majeure.

How many newtons of pounds? Oh, his mother can fucking put about 400 newtons straight down when she drops the hammer. Eh? I don't know what you're talking about, man. You playing, you having fun playing with the bubbles? Oh, there's bubbles getting down with the ape. Look at that. I think we should just end her, maybe.

We should go home now. Oh, we are home. Should we end it? How long have we been out here? It seems like about 20 minutes. 10 more minutes to go. Five minutes. Five minutes!

All right, we got another 20 minutes or so, boys. Okay, keep reading, Ricky. Okay, let's... Let's talk about Bowie. David? The lobster. Named after David. Okay. Who's Bowie again?

He's a lobster. He's a famous lobster that just caught off the coast of Maine. Why is he famous? Because he's half blue and half brown, and he's half boy and half girl. No fucking way. Yeah, one in 50 million. Half boy and half girl? How does that work?

I think the boy's blue and the girl's brown. But does he, they got both? They got everything. The whole shoe match. The whole fucking package. So if you said to theey, go fuck yourself. He could. She could. Well, they could.

They could. And that's exactly what they're going to do. What? Yeah, he took a vote and said, you want me to eat this thing, throw it back, or what the fuck should I do with it? And they're like, see if it can make eggs. See if it can fuck itself? I don't know if it's getting, see if it can make eggs. See if it can fuck itself? I don't know if it's getting fucked or if it's fucking itself. I don't know.

One way or another, it's getting some eggs. Okay, who are they when you're saying they are going to decide whether to eat the thing or let it fuck itself? People on Twitter.

Or TikTok. What? Yeah. Fucking lost here, man. There's a lobster that's got... I know. ...faults parts. So it's got a cock in it.

And it's two different colors. All right. And... Like right down the middle? They don't vote on Tech Talk whether he should eat it or fuck it. Or kill it. Or throw it back. So he fucked the lobster?

He might have. But they came down to it. They want to see if the fucking thing can make eggs. Who's the who? A fisherman? Yeah. I've never heard. I used to lobster fish.

I've never heard. But was the thing already famous in the ocean before he caught it? That's what I'm thinking. Did they catch it before? Or is it famous because he caught it? No, it's famous because it's fucking 150 million. Oh, you said Bowie the lobster. I thought everybody knew who he was.

Like he lives out in the bay or whatever. Jesus Christ, man. Don't do that. I thought he lived out in the bay and he was like popular in the town. He too was famous. They keep catching him like, ah, there he is again. This is like a one-shot deal. Hey, Bowie. So they caught this fucking thing. They looked at it. Give it a kick. Give it a kick, Bowie.

Okay, so why did they call him Bowie? Because he's blue? Bowie Blue? No, man. Bowie's David Bowie. David Bowie? Because he's blue? Bowie blue? No, man. Bowie's David Bowie. David Bowie wasn't blue. Is he half blue and half brown? No, David Bowie had two colored eyes, different colored eyes. Is he half man and half woman? Is that why?

David Bowie was pretty, you know. Did he have a blue and a brown eye? He had two different colored eyes. Yeah. No, that's why he's called Bowie. Okay, all right. Makes sense. See, we've solved the mystery.

So the guy that put it on TikTok is the guy that called it, right? Not David Bowie. But it's not David Bowie. And then when they put it on TikTok, he said, do you want me to fuck this, eat it, or kill it? I don't think there was a fuck put involved. Okay, all right. See, you added that, man.

That freaked me out. Because I'm thinking, how do you fuck a lobster? I know you could fuck a cow, and there's people that do it, and pigs and sheeps. You would need to create an entry point. You need to fuck all the fish in it then.

Oh, yeah. If you're fucking a lobster, first of all, you get your cocks on your bird. There's no question. Yeah, there's not very many, there's not many tender parts in a lobster body, is there? No. Inside? Inside, very tender.

If you can get through that crust. All right, if you're going to bang it. It's not a crust. If you're going to bang it, do you want the thing dead, or do you want them like. Oh, definitely. Okay, but okay. Well, you want them to get into it, or? Yeah.

Do you want them to give you a reach around?. You want him to give you a reach around? You want him to give you a reach around with that claw? No, he'd take that thing right off. Yeah, that's... He'd just snip your sock right at the top. I don't think he's talking about that. I don't know. Getting jacked off by a lobster or a bag of water or something?

It's not an animal that you'd probably have bestiality things with, right? No. It's a good conclusion. Yeah. But you never know. People might get the...

Oh, I promise you there's somebody on the planet that fucked a lobster. You probably just gave him the idea and someone's going down to the fucking lobster tank.

I promise you somewhere on the planet somebody fucked a lobster. Do you think? No the planet, somebody fucked a lobster. Do you think? No question. People are fucked. That's pretty, yeah, they are fucked. And if you, you know when you pull the tail off and you got the big hole with the green slime in the body?

Oh, fuck. People are probably pounding those left and right. You mean even the tail part? You get rid of the tail, I mean the body. Jesus Christ. It's just like a lobster flashlight. All right, people get turned on by fucked up things like cars and shit. Do you think there's somebody that's, there's got to be someone out there like married to a lobster?

A million percent. You've got to. Probably. If there's anybody married to a lobster out there, send something in to squarenet.com with a picture or something. Don't, actually. Okay, we're about to fucking get tipped over here. Yeah, it does kind of... We can't get over here.

I think the trailer just moved. Holy fuck, boys. She's coming right off the bricks. She's coming off the bricks. That's a good song. Coming off the bricks. What would that song be about? I don't know, but I like it.

Oh, man. Bricks of Hash? Bricks of Hash, or... Coming off the bricks, coming on the bricks? This was a weird headline. Somebody doing it with their hash? Oh, man. This is one of the weirdest headlines I've read in quite a while.

Okay. You ready for it? Nope. Okay. All right, ready. Just say. Is it crazy? Eh.

Does it involve somebody's wiener? Mm-hmm. I had a gas. I had a wild... Shocking. One man ends up giving syphilis to five women. Dash. In their eyes.

Ooh. Eye syphilis. He's a face painter. I didn't know there was such a thing. Yeah, he's painting faces. It. He's a face painter. I didn't know there was such a thing. Yeah, he's painting faces. It didn't mention that. Not with paint. It didn't mention that in the article,

but you'd have to fucking assume there was some painting going on. Yeah. Spraying. Oh, Jesus. Was it all at once? No, no, this was over six or seven months. Oh, okay. So it wasn't five people in one room that he should go down.

No, the age range was from 40 to 60, so he's dating a wide range of ladies. Atta boy. I like when older women, you know, get banged. Older people. It's fucking great, man. Yeah, they're all fucked up. Eyes going blonde and skin peeling off and sores all over their heads. Fuck, what a bastard.

Peely eyelids, man. I don't know much about that, but it sounds fucking horrible. Syphilis in the eyes? I thought Capone died from syphilis, didn't he? Yeah. I think so, but not in his eyes. No, he had it in his eyes. Because he was giving it to people in the eyes.

This guy had no symptoms at all, but I guess when they tested him, he was like, yeah, you got it, bud. He'd been infected all the time. So he had no ID, he was just dashing it out? I'd like to interrogate this guy. Yeah. Because I bet you he was a greasy fuck. Well, if you're face painting a 60-year-old woman, I don't know.

It's not normally you're open to move. There's a lot of questions I got for this guy. I'd like to have a conversation with him. Me too. He's into gelfs. Yeah. Do you like, was there dentures involved that came out? Is that why he grew up to the 60s?

Is he like, I don't know, man. You do? What do you guess? He's a recidivist, as Leahy would call him. Yeah. Just keeps going after the face paint. Doesn't stop. Maybe it's not face painting, I don't know. How else would you him. Yeah. Just keeps going after the face paint. Doesn't stop. Maybe it's not face painting.

I don't know. How else would you get? Oh. They admitted that they did not use protection. Clearly. And they also all admitted that he had a sore on his wing. Oh, Jesus. You'd think that would be a red flag.

Okay, I got some bad, yeah. Oh, yeah. There was a lot of oral going on. So him going down, then up, and then it doesn't have to be a face paint. No? It's like a rub. There's some wiener rubbing going on on the face, I think, maybe. You know what I mean? Oh, he's like slapping?

He's a wiener. Yeah, he's a face slapper. He's a wiener slapper. He's a wiener slapper. What a dirty fuck. Throw him in jail. Throw that motherfucker in jail. He's a wiener slapper.

With syphilis. You got syphilis, don't be slapping your wiener around. Especially in the eyes. I wish we had written down everything we consumed over the last few hours so we could do it every day. It's a good cocktail. I feel really good. I do too, man.

I feel like Julian. Good pipe, buddy. Look at that. That's a nice one. Don't get that shit laying around the house. You sure don't. Good call, man.

All right, I'm done. Is that it? Well, if there's one other one I'm not talking about, it's just too fucked. No, do it, Ricky. No, no, no, no. Then I'll read it.

Do you read that fucking mess? I don't know if you'd be able to read it. No, man, I can't. I don't. This was in Alabama. A fella named Alex Crowe. He's a priest. He was already suspended for doing things he wasn't supposed to do.

With this 18-year-old girl. He's 30, I think. Anyway, he decided to make it all go away by marrying her. Stormed off to Italy. Whist her away. Now everything's... Oh, he's a priest? Yep.

Okay. Well, you know what? That's maybe not that bad of a story. It said he marries an 18-year-old. He was accused of grooming. What does grooming mean? He was in for the long fucking run. He's... Fuck him. Fuck fuck that guy i think i agree yeah he can suck it what does grooming mean grooming because he was preparing he was preparing her oh he was being how you doing a little bit too much you meant like a dog

oh my god did you did you guys see the video i tried to send you? No, man. Speaking of grooming. What is it? It's a little groundhog. Yeah. And they're washing his little chest with soap and then putting water on him and he's smiling. Do you see his shadow? I don't know, but he's so cute. Are we giving him a fucking bath? Well, he's standing upright and they're scrubbing his little chest with soap. I don't,

I don't, no, that's not for me. No, you would enjoy it. I don't know, man. I won't. Where is it? I'm going to find it.

We've got to see this. Groundhog getting... You don't want to see a groundhog getting a little bath. Fuck groundhogs, man. Why? He's adorable.

And then they do this side and then when they let go, he turns so they can get his other. Oh, so he's enjoying it. Oh, he's loving it. And then they do this side, and then when they let go, he turns so they can get his other. Oh, so he's enjoying it. Oh, he's loving it. And then they spray him with the water, and he's smiling. Big teeth fucking sticking out. Is he high-spirited?

I don't know. I don't know his name either. Oh, fuck. Nice fellow, though. Very nice. So it's a groundhog getting a bath. Yes, groundhog gets a bath. Groundhog.

See what you can find. Gets a bath. Yes, Groundhog, get to bath. Groundhog, see what you can find. Get a bath. This is fucked, Lubs. All right. See what you can find. Oh, fuck's sake. Do you know how to use that? What?

Do you know how to use that thing? This thing? Oh, he's in the nuts. Jeez, fuck, Lubs. Is that him? All right, That's pretty cute Little cunt Look at that guy

Let me see I thought you weren't going to like it Wait until they soap him up They get some luck He'd be so well behaved I know that's what I mean Look they're soaping him up He's a great little fella

He's probably baked or up. He's a great little fella. Look at the camera going, what the fuck? He's probably baked or drugged. He's totally high. He's not high. He's just happy. He's getting lathered up. Yes, and then they spray him with the water. I want to own a ground dog now. Do not stir. I might. Are they good pets?

They could be. Then you'd know if it's going to be long spring or late summer. Well, we could have pocket-tongue-sy. I can't fucking talk. Pocket-tongue-sy. What's his name? Pocket-tongue-sy Phil. His name's Phil?

How do you say it, Ricky? Pocket-tongue-sy. Pocket-tongue-sy Phil. He looks just like pocket-tongue-sy. I don't know. You know what? Pocket-tongue-sy Phil. This made my day, bubs. Thanks. I don't know. You know what? Pawkatinky Phil! This made my day, bubs. Thanks.

I told you it would. It's so fucked. I know. Look at him. See when he turns? Yeah. He's getting there all lined up. Fucking loving it.

Good for you, man. Good little fella. Pawkatinky. Pawkatinky Phil. You little fella. Pock-a-dink. Pock-a-dinkie. We're going to pick him up. Pock-a-dinkie fell. Was he growling? That was the drain.

Oh, that's the drain. I wish he made that noise. Holy fuck, if he could make that sound. He'd be terrified. Especially if he started glowing. Yeah. You know what? This video needs this thing attacking the fucking person bathing in it.

Firehog. Yeah, just fucking rip his finger off. Pocket Tinky Phil. That would be awesome. All right, that's enough of Pocket Tinky. It's a long video, man. What the fuck is his real name? I don't know.

I can't come up with it. It's something like- Poxahunksy? No. Dry it off. Poxahunksy. Nope. Petunkskyoxahunksy? No. Poxahunksy. Nope. Patunksy?

Pockatunksy? Hoxapunky? No. This guy's a fucking star. They're probably making money off this little fucker. Poxatunksy. Poxatunksy Phil, isn't it? I don't think so.

No. Poxatunks? Poxatunks. I don't think so. Puckatons? No. Puxatons? Puxatons. I don't fucking know. What are you, watching Rio? I'm on a, just, you know. Oh, okay, here we go. This is what I wanted.

Look at this fucking creature. What is it? It's going to eat a popsicle. Who is it? Look at that popsicle. It's Punkatakiaki or whatever his name is. I don't know. He's a fucking guy. This is better than the bath video.

Look, he's fucking... He's like, he's like he's high. Give me that. He's got eyesight problems, man. Did I not say Julian would love this groundhog? How fucking big do you really think he is? Look at this guy. Oh, he grabbed him.

Yeah, he does get it. I just knew Julian would fall in love with him. I got some fucking claws, eh? Oh, yeah. Wow. They're groundhogs. Don't forget, they can dig the ground. Holy fuck, a lot of crazy people got born on December 18th.

Punxsutawney. No. Punxsutawney. Punxsutawney? Fuck. Punxsutawney. Punxsutawney? Fuck. Punxsutawney Phil, I think. Punxsutawney. Punxsut, all right, I gotta look it up.

Oh, good luck. You don't even know how to say it. How are you gonna spell it? Punxsutawney Phil. It sounds, it's gotta be close to that. Punxsutawney. It's Punxsutawney Phil, right? You going to spell it? Puxatawney Phil. It's got to be close to that. Puxatawney. It's Puxa. Puxatawney Phil, right?

You're looking at it. You can't tell. Puxatawney? Groundhog Puxatawney. Puxatawney. Is that like a short name? No, that's not it, man. Is it Puxatawney?

Puxatawney. Puxatawney sounds like he's a very debonair little groundhog. That's Puxatawney. Puxatawney sounds right. Puxatawney, I think. Is there like a fucking groundhog festival? Yes. Community?

Because there's tons of fucking groundhog videos. Yeah. Like, boys, what do you mean? We got Shubhanaki Sam, that's right. Ah, he's not fucking famous. We want the Puckatonkey. Okay. He's the famous one.

The Puckatonkey. Puckatonkey, Phil. the famous one. The Puckatonkey. Puckatonkey, Phil. Fuck the fucking people. Got born on December the 8th. All right, give it to us, man. Sammy Davis Jr. Is he still alive? No.

It doesn't say that he's not. He was fucking great, man. Sammy Davis can't be alive. Sammy was cool. Doesn't have a date. See if Sammy Davis Jr. If he did, he's 98. If he did, he's 98. I If he did, he's not here.

I was into him, man. The whole group. The rap back. He's one of the rap backs, right? Yeah, he was. Those guys were good, man. All right. Sammy Davis.

Sammy could sing, boy. Oh, yeah, he hit the chin. Like, fuck. Mom. Don't do that. Yeah, babe. Sammy Davis Jr. Here we go.

Did he die? He did a lot of banging man a lot he died May 16th 1990 It's gonna say Beverly Hills. It's weird. They didn't put that in here He died years ago. He's gone Flip Wilson Who flip flip Wilson, yeah, he's a gymnast Oh, man. Flip Wilson. I don't even know who that is. Should I? Who? Flip. Flip Wilson? Yeah, he's a gymnast.

Award-winning comedian. Oh, I thought he was a gymnast. Oh, man. Flip who? Backflip. Backflip Wilson. Flip who? David Carradine.

Oh. Kung fu. Yeah. Walking the planet. He was a... Getting into adventures. He was a blonde motherfucker, wasn't he? This is going to be a night of music.

Lots of music and laughter. The what? What? The who? Jim Morrison. You ever heard of him? Oh. Is it Jim's birthday?

It is. It's a big one. What's the date? December 8th. December 8th. John Lennonennon tomorrow December 9 Greg Almond Who's that Greg Jimmy Peanuts brother from the almond Bruce? Oh, yeah Jimmy peanut in Biesinger. Oh, yeah. Whoa That brings back a lot of memories eight and a half weeks nine and a half weeks Ricky

That was probably the greatest movie when we were growing up. It was Ocean's Nine. Ocean's Nine was nothing like nine and a half weeks. Ocean's Eleven, wasn't it? The honey and shit. Wasn't it Ocean's Eleven? That came after. Ocean's Eleven.

Eleven's after eight. Was there an Ocean's Eight? In the number bit I know that but was there an Ocean's 8? no man no maybe a prequel

Sam Kinison fucking loved that guy yeah he was funny he was one of my favorites he could scream boy poor fucking head on collision is that how he died?

fucked up pulled out the pass smack Sam Kinison. Yeah. I didn't know that. In his Corvette. Remember how red he used to get when he'd scream? Oh, yeah.

He would just be red. He must have had high blood pressure, man. Well, anybody that screams at, you know, 160 dB, they're gonna turn red. Bane sticking out of his neck. Phil Collin. Metal or heavy guitar player for Def Leppard. Oh, Def Lepp neck. Phil Collin. Metal or heavy guitar player for Def Leppard. Oh, Def Leppard.

Phil Collin. Merti Friedman. Guitarist for Megadeth. It's going to be a lot of music. Oh, I was thinking of Merti Feldman with the big bulgers. The eyes. Terry Hatcher from Lois and Clark, who was born in Sunnyvale, California. She's hot as fuck.

I want to go there sometime. Terry Hatcher. Beautiful one. Yeah. Sinead O'Connor. Oh. This is nuts. Sinead, yeah.

She was an amazing one. God bless her. Yes, had some problems. Prepare for your penis to do a little dancing. Okay. Patrick Swayze. No. No?

Shut up, man. Frank Shamrock. Oh, my God. There's no penis dance going on for Frank Shamrock, man. Who's Frank Shamrock? Right. Is he a UFC fighter? Yes, man. He's one of the fucking legends.

That's Ken Shamrock, isn't it? Oh, yeah. No, his brother was good, too. Oh, okay. His brother was Frank. Are you sure? I think so. You're thinking of Frank Stallone.

Yeah, I am, but I think he does it. I got to search this, man. Yeah, he says Mick Mercer. It's Ken Shamrock, but I'm sure Frank was. Ken's not so good. Frank was as good martial arts. Ken Shamrock, but I'm sure Frank was. Ken's a good one. Frank's not so good. Frank was as good as Ken. Ken.

Maybe. I mean, I don't know a lot of MMA fighters, but I know Ken Shamrock's a famous one. Okay, we're going to watch Eatin' Out of Frank's. Yeah, you know this guy. We're going to listen to some Doors. He's a bad motherfucker. We're going to listen to some Almonds. That dude.

We're going to have some Almond. We're going to listen to a couple Sam Kenison moments. And we're gonna watch some Frank Shamrock reels, man. We're gonna listen to some Def Leppard's mega-def. Holy fuck, we're gonna night. We got a night. We got a night. And some Sinead O'Connor.

Lots of fights. Except I can't listen to that one song or I'll cry. You do cry at that one a lot. Nothing compares to you. All right, Frank Shamrock, he was the first one to hold the UFC middleweight championship fucking belt, man. Frank? Yes. Wow.

His brother was in the heavyweight division. Ken, yeah, he was a heavyweight, wasn't he? He was a big motherfucker. Would his brother make any dancing going on? Any what? What, what? What's going on? Who was that groundhog fighter?

There wasn't a groundhog in the MMCs. MMCs? What's that now? There was. National Carnival. The MMCs. Jesus, man. I mixed up MMA and UFC into one new pre-letter. UFC middleweight, they later renamed it to the light heavyweight.

They changed it. Maybe there's so many people in that division. Or it's just off by one pound or something. Yeah. It's very interesting. It's a tough one, man. I don't know all that shit. Mind is blown.

Listen to Julian pretending like he doesn't know the weight divisions on the UFC. Shut up, man. No, he was good. This is a good birthday day, guys, for people. Yeah, it was lots of them. Well, I got a lot of videos tonight. You want to watch fights?

Yeah, if the fucking trailer doesn't blow away. Bob, you should go around and check it out and see if this thing's good for the wind. Why should I check it out? Because you're safe. While you're out there, you should go to the liquor store. You're the only one that if she starts to blow away, you're the only one that can grab it and hold it down.

That's a good idea. I should put chain on each end and put you out there. Boy, it's a chair. Hercules. I'm not getting in a fucking mess with Mother Nature. She will fuck me up. No, Hercules can hold it down with chains. Oh, man, not even Hercules.

And I'll be... I'll be Toot. He can be Newton. Remember Newton and Toot? Yeah, of course, half. Yeah. Toot, I hate that little motherfucker. Man, the little Tootie, the Flutie guy. Yeah, that little Toot.

Ugh! The matador. Even when I was young, I was like, I want to punch the TV every time that fucker came on the screen. Toot! Toot, I hated him. Why?

Hey, what's going on, Toot? Fuck you, speak English, you mother- What did you think of Tweaky? Did you hate him, too? Diggy diggy diggy? Yeah, bitty bitty bitty. He wasn't so bad, because he was a robot. Bitty bitty bitty, hiya, box.

Toot could suck it. Toot was just playing his little recorder. I was like that shit you were telling me about R2-D2 having a silver leg. Yeah. No, it was C-P-P-O. C-P-P-O? What is it, C-P-3-O? C-3-P-O.

What is it? C-3-P-O. C-3-P-O. Man, we're fucking up today, boys. C-3-P-O. I gotta go. C-P-3-O. No, it was C-3-P-O. I'm done. I're fucking up today, boys. C-3PO. I gotta go. C-3PO. No, C-3PO.

I'm done. I'm done. Okay, we need liquor? Imagine if R2-D2 had a leg sticking off of him now. I wish there was some kind of thing you could get on your phone where you could just open it up and just pick a song and it's there and you could play it. That's what we need for tonight. They have that.

They have that. Oh. It's called Spotify, Apple Music. What song do you want? What song do you want? Anything. What song do you want? Anything but that sad song from Sinead O'Connor. Jesus. Don't put that on.

All right, let's go with some Megadeth. Megadeth. That's a weird one, isn't it? Well. Or Doors. Doors. Doors. All right.

Peace Frog. Peace Frog. Put in fours. Boys. The fours. As in, oh, fours. Boys. The fours. As in, you are. What? You can't even type.

I'm not good, man. You can't speak. You can't type. You should just go to bed. No, I ain't farting. Leave your booze here. Puxatawney failure. It's for Puxatawney.

That's not peace frog, but it'll do. This is a Puxatawney tune, man. You see the little fucker getting the bath? That's what he's listening to. No, he'd be listening to Peace Frog getting the bath, but that's okay. Peace Frog. All right, are we done? I think so.

Thanks for fucking tuning in. See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, Thanks for fucking tuning in. See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.