Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 3 - Goddamn Good Pretzel Dogs Right There

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

Ricky, Julian and Bubbles are back together in the trailer! Before they get f**ked up to celebrate, they check out cocaine hippos, underground Antarctic aliens and a tall samsquamptch story. Plus: Get the recipe for Ricky's awesome pretzel dogs!

I Want to open up a window or something but fuck off you fucking see the fucking TV. That's good It means we're at a good level Gotta say boys. I've I've really missed you guys Clearly pass Miss my video fucking games. Oh, yeah, I've missed missed you too. Well, I've missed this video game. Missed my video fucking games. Well, yeah, I've missed this.

It's been a while since I played this. It's good to be back together. Fucking shit's starting to happen. Hopefully that's the last fucking time we're in goddamn lockdown. Well, until the brand new type of virus comes. Welcome to the perk after the fucking dark. COVID-21. Live again. When that comes, or COVID-22, then we're going to be fucked.

Don't even say it, man. I can't even think about that shit. Well, boys, I got a good surprise. It's almost ready. I can smell it, Ricky. I made a batch of Ray's homemade pretzel dogs. Really? Yes.

Julian. It's been a long time. Are you going to come join us? Yeah, man. Just a second. Ah's been a long time. It's a long fucking work. Are you going to come join us? Yeah, man. Just a second. Ah, fuck.

All right. We should have had the cameras rolling when I was giving you the belly work. You weren't giving me belly work. People that, they missed it because the cameras weren't rolling. I just gave Julian an hour's worth of belly work. Had him laid out on the coffee table. Yeah, and then your hands started going a little bit lower. No, they didn't.

Lower into the belly, and that's when I had to swat you. That was Randy. I had you blindfolded. That was Randy. Listen, you weren't getting... No, man, don't say that was Randy. That was Randy. He was here rubbing your groin.

I was past it. Fuck's sakes, boys. Well, don't be doing shit like that. That's not right, man. Well, Randy wanted to rub you. I'm still up. It's been a late one, hasn't be doing shit like that. That's not right, man. Well, Randy wanted to rub you. I'm still up. It's been a late one, hasn't it, boys? Yeah, stayed up cheering on fucking Nathan McKinnon.

Cool Harper boy. They lost it, man. It's all a little short. Yeah. I thought it was going to be his year. Yeah. Fuck, he was in beast mode. Yeah, he got fucked.

He's good at the hockey, eh? The hockey, yes. He's good at the hockey, eh? The hockey, yes. He's good at the hockey. Good at the hockey. Yeah. Fuck, man, there's a pub in Florida that's decorated with nearly two million dollars in cash. What the fuck is...

Well, I think my pretzel dogs might be done. Oh. Let's have a little fucking look-see. Let's have a look, Ricky. They're close. Well, don't burn them, because I'm... When did you make the fucking pretzel dogs? About fucking 3 a.m.

Holy fuck, man. Made them from scratch. Yeah, it was quite a fucking mission. I had to go get bacon soda out of my shed. What about the wieners? You didn't make those from scratch, did you? No, I didn't make the wieners. No, it was quite a fucking mission. I had to go get bacon salt out of my shed. What about the wieners? You didn't make those from scratch, did you? No, I didn't make the wieners.

No, the wieners are nice. They're the Larson. Larson? No, Lester's. Oh, is it Lester's? Lester's wieners. Okay. I like Lester's better than Lester's.

Lester's blows Lester's out of the wall. Fucking Lester's way better than Lester's, man. Whatever. Well, if you want to make some fucking homemade pretzel dogs, you'll see the finished product here shortly. It's pretty simple. It's not simple, actually. It's a pretty complicated process, Ricky.

You're going to take a can of beer. You heat it up in a pot to 110 degrees. Then you dump in like a teaspoon or a tablespoon of sugar, teaspoon and a half of salt, and one of those instant packages of yeast. Let that do its business for about five minutes. Put it in a mixer. Add four and a half cups of flour.

That'll make your fucking dough. Then you want to spread that dough out into a 10 by 20 sheet. Cut it into one inch strips. Take your wieners. Wrap your wieners. Pinch the edges. Then you want to take 10 cups of water, two-thirds of a cup of baking soda,

mix that together, bring it to a boil. Take your little wiener-wrapped dogs, cook them each for 30 seconds in this fucking pot of soda water, and then you bake the fuckers. But first... When you made them, you didn't measure anything. I just know it now. First, before you put them on a fucking baking sheet with parchment paper,

take an egg yolk, beat that with a tablespoon of water. Then you want to brush the little fucking things. Cook them at 450 degrees. Sprinkle a little bit of salt on them before you put them in the oven. And you'll see how they fucking turn out. I didn't know you knew all that. I thought you were just... What happened to him? I don't know.

It's Ray. Ray taught me. But Ray doesn't know what a fucking teaspoon or a tablespoon is. Ray knows pint and quart. That's it. Well, I don't know, but it seems to work anyway. Well, man, it sounds like you know what you're talking about. Have you done it? I don't really.

You've had Ray's pretzel dogs, haven't you? Yeah, I have. They're unbelievable. But beer. What's up with the beer and the fucking flour, man? That's what makes your beer pretzel dough. Yeah, but I don't like fucking beer. Well, you won't taste it.

You won't taste it like that. You've eaten a beer pretzel before. You probably didn't even know it. I can't stand beer. You can also make pizza crust out of it. Whoo! Well, that's just amazing, man. You got a COVID beard, Julian.

Yeah, I did a COVID beard. Take a nap, boys. I'm right out of here. Well, you're staying up for a little while longer. We got to do this fucking park thing. I might nap. What the fuck's going on with this lake here, man? Grand Lake. It's got something in it. Fucking two dogs died and a woman got sick

and not allowed in the water. Somebody whacked somebody and threw the body in the fucking lake. That wouldn't kill two dogs. Maybe. There's a few fucking people in there then. Do you know where Big Grand Lake is? That's what I don't understand. Where is Grand Lake anyway?

It's down there. It's a fucking oak field there. Just out past, you know. It's out on the old Waverly road past fall river yeah yeah i know where that's at it's a big fucking lake someone's fucking with it then so for the people that don't know there's a big lake around here the other night one in the morning big alert comes on the phone yeah something going on at grand lake somebody died or two dogs died and somebody got sick i thought there was like a-

Two dogs died? Yeah. Yeah, just from going in the lake. I get those alerts, man. I don't even pay attention to them. Two dogs died. Somebody got, and they were like, you know, there was hazmat teams and stuff in the middle of the night. So I thought there was flesh-eating disease coming for me.

I'd be fucked. That's what I thought it was. I thought it was, they were going to say, some kind of flesh-eating zombie, zombie-created disease. So I fucking, I started to pack up. Middle of the night, I was shipping out. Whoa, man, Pablo Escobar's cocaine. Ricky, are they burning?

Cocaine hippos. You hear about Escobar's cocaine hippos? They pose a serious threat to Columbia's environment. Are they on cocaine? Did you burn them? No, man. These are looking pretty fucking good. I think we might be good. Okay.

They let these fucking things loose in the jungles, man, in Columbia. These fucking hippos. They're all bagged up in cocaine. Oh, really? And they're fucking people over. Well, imagine the size of the line he'd have to do his nostrils that big around. Water giants, they're fucking beasts. Hippos' nostrils are that big around. You imagine the fucking line he'd have to do. How do they get in the cocaine?

Well, four turned into a hundred of these fucking cocaine hippos, man. Ricky, do you have plates? Plates? I used to have a plate up here. What do you have plates? Uh, plates? 1,400. Must have a plate up here. What do plates look like? The round thing you eat off of. What do you mean, what the fuck?

Did he just say that? See, you were getting smart there for a bit with the recipe. Now it's... Rick, man. There we go. We got plates. There we go. We don't have a lot of fucking condiments, I don't think.

Ketchup's all you need for these fuckers. Oh, we got mustard. Oh, yes, mustard. Ketchup and mustard. Look at those dirty bastards. Yeah, I wouldn't trust anything else in here, I don't think. Do you want a dog? Get a pretzel dog. You put a lot of work in there, I'll fucking check her out.

There we go. I still want to know more about these cocaine hippos, man. They're running fucking rampant. I'd like to know how they're getting the cocaine. We're in Columbia, man. Cocaine, they're called cocaine giants. Master June? No, I'm good, man. I'm good.

Cocaine giants, man. I should squirt that all over your death. If you did, this would go right up your fucking arse, buddy. Believe me. How does this thing taste? Drink me with a good time. Yeah? She's a little crispy there, Ricky.

Yeah. I'm going to fucking put them in a little too long. Holy fuck, they're hot. Yeah? Like lava. They are a bit hot, but they're fucking good. That's a good fucking pretzel dog, man. They're not too fucking chubby.

Not quite as good as Ray's. I'm not sure about the beer. I think I can taste the beer, but... Oh, you can't. Let me see. Why didn't you make it with fucking rum? Next time we'll make them with rum, all right? Rum dogs. All right.

Rum dogs. All right. So you made us get vaxxed, and now apparently we're human magnets? Ricky. Magnets. There's a nurse down in Ohio somewhere, and she said that it was keys sticking to her neck, and bobby pins. Magnus. There's a nurse down in Ohio somewhere,

and she said that it was keys sticking to her neck and bobby pins. She's on a fucking glue, man. Well, it seemed because she was showing it, and she put the key there, and it wouldn't stick. So I don't know what she's talking about. She's probably just some fucking sweaty old hag. She's got sweat on her fucking neck. You can stick anything to your skin with sweat on it. What do you mean, man?

You can stick keys to yourself if you got a little bit sweaty. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. I mean... So it's normal? Yes, man. I remember I was dating this chick one time, and I lost my key, right, to the house. I had to get in, and we were doing some banging and stuff, and things were getting sweaty.

Looking everywhere, she fucking turned her head. The key was stuck right through her neck. It's from fucking sweat. I had to get in and we were doing some banging and stuff and things are getting sweaty looking everywhere She fucking turned her head the key was stuck right through her neck some fucking sweat a stupid idiot, so she's going around saying that this fucking vaccine made her Magnetic turn her magnetic metal shit sticks to her So we're good I don't have to worry about that you're not magnetic magnetic, Ricky, no. Here, we'll try to stick something to yourself. Let's do a little test. I don't see anything. Here's a little screw. There. If you were magnetic, you could stick that right to your forehead.

The screw? See? See? Someone would say, look, it's sticking to me, but it's caught in your glasses. That's how fucked people are. I thought it was stuck to me. You gotta stick it to where you got the shot, man. It's my glasses. No, they're saying where you get the injection, you're magnetic and that. Really? Oh.

Yeah. Oh, no. All right. So much for that fucking theory. All right, so they're gonna shoot these fucking cocaine hippos, man, because they're out of control. That's what they're going to do with the fucking...

Well, hippos are a dangerous animal. They're big. Yeah, but they're also banging like motherfuckers. Now there's 104, so there's a big problem. Where's the cocaine? In Columbia, man.

I don't know. Maybe because some guy named Rico feeding them. I think I read about this. I don't think the hippos are on cocaine. They're just called cocaine hippos because the king of cocaine bought them. Well, they already killed 30 of them.

So if they're on cocaine, maybe that's probably the best way to go. Get all banged up and then get shot. Why the fuck do they got to kill them? Why can't they ship them somewhere? They keep banging, man. They're fucking, they're not supposed to be there. Well, put them back to where the fuck they're supposed to be. they gotta kill them? Why can't they ship them somewhere? They keep banging, man. They're fucking... They're not supposed to be there. Well, put them back to where the fuck they're supposed to be. Don't kill them.

Yeah, there's not supposed to be hippos in Colombia. You wanna trap a cocaine that's all banged up on cocaine? A hippo on cocaine? You wanna trap one of them? Trank them. Trank them. I don't think the tranquilizers are doing fuck all to them. What if we had one here?

Imagine if we had a cocaine hippo. They could left a fucking oven on. God damn it. Poor little fuckers, all banged up, they don't know what's going on. But, they think they're invincible. So they gotta go. Poor hippos. I feel bad for the hippos. I'm gonna get drunk with them tonight.

Your mother kind of reminded me of a hippo. That's not very nice. She backed up on cocaine, wasn't she? I have no comment about my mother and cocaine. Yeah. Tammy? Oh, fuck. She's done everything, man. And everyone.

I wish I could argue with you. Oh. What's wrong with it? Goddamn good pretzel right there. That's a fucking good pretzel dog, bud. Yeah, that's lunch taken care of. Not too shabby. Unique service lets you rent fat people by the hour.

Why? What the fuck is going on with this world, man? Rent? What? Yeah, from renting someone to befriend your cheating partner's lover and convince them to back off to renting middle-aged men for company. This is a company that's called Dubackin.

Okay. You can rent a fat person for an hour. To do what with them? You gotta be over 100 kilograms. Why were you looking this up? To who? Why were you looking this up? It's just popped up, man. I'm just sitting here looking at shit.

I thought maybe we were lonely. What's the business plan now? What's the, why do you rent a factory? All right, if you've got someone that's fucking cheating on you, you rent someone that's fat and they go take care of them. So. Take care of them now. Apparently plus-sized people are

scary motherfuckers to some people over here. I think this is in China or something, man. Fuck Randy. We should rent Randy out. How much do you get for one? I'm just trying. I'm not thinking the same thing, bud. We could have a business here on our hands.

Okay, 18 bucks an hour. 2,000 yen. So, yeah, they're in China or something, aren't they? Yeah. China? Yeah. All right. 18 bucks an hour. They can go over and just be company. Randy likes to talk.

Yeah. All right, so if anybody's out there, you want to rent a fat person, 18 bucks an hour, 25 bucks an hour, we got to make our cut. I was going to there, you want to rent a fat person, $18 an hour, $25 an hour, we've got to make our cut. I was going to say, we've got to get a cut. So $25 an hour, anybody, he'll do anything to be romantic? Randy doesn't. He won't do anything.

He won't do it for $25 an hour. No, he's going to do it for $15 an hour. No, he won't. Yes, he will. I guarantee it. Well, if there's no dirty stuff involved. There could be dirty stuff involved for 50 bucks an hour. Just throwing that out there.

And you're only in for Andy's pimp. Yeah. I'm sure he wants to make some money. He's not really doing much of anything right now, is he? Yeah, it's a lot easier than what he normally does to make money for cheeseburgers. Yeah. Fuck, thanks.

Okay, all right. This is good. I was reading there was a woman in Alabama, 94 years old, just graduated from high school. So it's never too late. Good for her, man. So it makes me think, fuck, why am I worried about getting an edu...

edu... education. Yeah, education. You get your grade 12. I don't need to do that now. I can do it in my 90s. Yeah, but... Why would you bother, Ricky?

Why, yeah. Oh, just to be able to die and said you did it, but not do it until then. But what? But it would help you out through life, man, for those other 40 years or whatever you got left, to be a little smarter, man. What the fuck do I need help with? Look at me.

This is pretty much perfection in a bottle. Perfection in a bottle. You're not in a bottle. Remember that Genie in the Bottle soon came out Man you love that tune I did like that tune Fuck he used to sing that just belted

Who sings that? Christina with a weird last name that I can't pronounce Aguilera Sure Genie in a bottle Boys I gotta nap it out

You can nap if you want just don't put your face in the mustard ketchup mixture in a bottle. Boys, I gotta nap it out. You can nap if you want. Just don't put your face in the mustard ketchup mixture. Major. There's a guy that I was reading. Some guy down in the States. He's a Sasquatch fucking expert.

He found one. He hunted it. Don't know. He hunted one down. Him and his buddy fucking dragged this thing. It was over seven feet tall. And they put it in his freezer. Do they have it now? I think they do. I gotta see video pictures. And they know it's worth a lot of money.

I don't think they're letting anybody see it yet. Not seven footer? Yeah, you'd get good money for a seven footer. I hope They just didn't kill their hairy neighbor. There's a chance that could happen. Yeah, some people get pretty fucked up when they're wasted. I'd like to see the seven-footer that they put in the freezer. Well, if he's watching, we want to see it, man.

Send us some fucking pictures. Stop teasing us. Is there no video of it to show? No, he doesn't actually show you the coincidence. Well, guess what? I've got a 12-footer in my freezer, but you can't see it. That's fucked.

You say that to every guy, don't you? Hey, get it? Yeah, I get it. Are you excited about this month? The Pentagon has to release their UFO report to Congress. They already did, didn't they? It's out there.

I think it's this month they've got to release a full report. Full report to Congress. Well, they released a bunch of shit, didn't they? It's going to be fucking interesting to see what the hell's going on. With all the juicy details. Crazy, man. Well, I've been telling you for years there's fucking no chance that aliens don't exist.

They have to. But now they're saying they live like they've been here. Yeah. Reptile-looking motherfuckers. Well, think about it. We're here for how many fucking years and technology's going like this, you know? They start with rocks and then they fucking build a

thing and then they turn it into this and it's slowly, slowly slowly over thousands of years and then all of a sudden within 40 years We've got Amazon. We've got fucking 3D photorealistic virtual

reality fucking places you can Even the internet, man. I still don't get that whole fucking thing. There's no way aliens didn't give us that technology. Yeah, you could be right. I think they're in the Antarctica, man. I think they're down inside the water. They've been here longer than us. They like it chilly down there, do they?

Well, they don't. They've got ways around the fucking chill, man. You know what I'm saying? Like force fields. Force fields? Yeah. How do they create a force field? I don't know. Force fields had to... The word force field itself had to come from somewhere.

Not someone's imagination. Julian's been smart since he got locked up. I'm just saying, I've been reading a lot about aliens, Bob. I know you know a lot about them, but I know a lot about aliens. So what's your theory that they've been here for how long and they live in the Antarctic? Fucking thousands of years, man. And they live underground in the Antarctic? Underground.

And there's a fucking, because we're not really checking out what's down there in the Antarctica, are we? We're not down there fucking doing all kinds of tests. Yes, they are. Well, they are, but those guys, come on. You know they're just getting wasted every fucking day. If you're living there, you're a drunk. You're a drunken scientist. Right?

No. You're going to disagree with that? Not everybody in Antarctica is fucking drunk. They're fucking wasted down there, man. They're just banging. They're having a party. They're not doing much of any kind of scientific shit. So aliens live down there.

Probably a big crater. They come up through the water or whatever. Through the water. Through the ice. The door opens and then here we go. Why would they? I wonder why they would live underground in Antarctica when they could just live, you know, somewhere nice.

Why do moles live underground? Hmm? Ever think of that? Yes. Why? Well, they're... Because that's what they do. The sun hurts their pretty little eyes, doesn't it?

Well, maybe the sun hurts the fucking eyes of the aliens. Do you think moles have pretty eyes, Ricky? Isn't there a song about that? What the fuck? About moles' eyes? Moles' eyes. They're fucking pink, aren't they? Maybe I'm thinking of something else.

They don't work. You, my brown-eyed mole. Oh, man. So the people are having a hard time with those silica fucking flying little cocksuckers, aren't they? Silica. What are they called? Cicadas? Cicadas.

Silica. I'm not paying attention to what's going on. It's those little beads that come in sneakers, isn't it? Yeah. You don't want to eat those, too. Believe me. They will make you sick. I tried one once.

You eat silica packs, Ricky? Many times. I thought it was pepper once. I remember that. Yeah, one once. You eat silica packs, Ricky. Many times. I thought it was pepper once. I remember that. Yeah, you thought it was salt. You tore the silica gel pack open and put it on your potatoes. Yeah, anyway, there's a lot of those bugs. People are eating them. I forgot about that. It gives you dry mouth.

You can eat cicadas. Cicadas, I know. There's a whole cookbook on them. Supposed to be great on tacos. How come we don't have them here? The fuck? Can't eat? Cicadas? Cicadas, I know. There's a whole cookbook on it. Supposed to be great on tacos. Well, how come we don't have them here? The fuck? Supposed to make a nice taco. Cicada tacos are supposed to be lovely. I've heard they've got a good taste in them.

Spicy. Do you de-wing them before you just grind up the wings? Just throw them in a blender and turn it into a powder. A smoothie. A cic A smoothie. That's the gayest smoothie. Bet you it's something good for you, man. Protein, bud. Yeah.

Protein. I hear what this guy in Florida got in a high-speed chase. And then he got out of his car, took a two-month-old baby with him, and he's running with the baby in his arms. And he turns around and he hurls the baby at the cops overhand. Try to distract them. That's quite a fucking move. What a dickhead.

I think one of the police guys caught the baby, thank God. That's a good catch. That's a fucking... As many high speed chases as I may have been in, I would never think about throwing a two month old kid overhand at a cop. What about a dog? How did he get a grip on him? If it was my dog, no.

Did he throw a spiral? Did he spiral him? I don't know. You could throw a spiral. I think it was like an overhand pitcher pitch. Yeah, it might have been like a quarterback. How do you hold a fucking kid in a pitcher? He had to throw him like a football, like a spiral.

Or maybe it was a shot put. Yeah, that's probably it. Shot put him. Yeah. Because Highlander guys do that. I mean, you wouldn't, how would you? Right on the ears, on the palm, fucking come back, release, put your shoulder into it.

The baby's gonna fly. It would be, you'd have more accuracy if you spiraled him. By the size? Yeah, like around be, you'd have more accuracy if you spiraled them. So hold them by the sides? Yeah, like around the, you know, around the waist. Head first or feet first? No, you'd want to go head first. Head first brought more aerodynamic.

Yeah. If you throw them feet first, it's legs. I don't think you could spiral a fucking two-year-old, man. Two-month-old. Oh, okay. Two-year-old? I'm talking about a two. That's what I'm to say the shot point if

they're two maybe two months old two months how the fuck was that guy he's a well what he wouldn't be fucked in the head if he threw a two-year-old he'd be normal yeah but you throw a fucking two month old baby man that's not things aren't gonna be good with that kid no you're pretty much i hope he gets in a lot of fucking shit for that. He should go to jail for it. Someone should fucking pick him up and throw him about 20 feet. Put him in a can and just fucking. No protective gear.

Shoot him. And shoot him at some cops. Like a catapult, that motherfucker. Yeah. Right into a fucking rock building. Rock castle. Yeah, I'd watch video of that. I would see.

I would pay to see that. They should catapult him into a big castle in Scotland. One of those big Scottish. Remember we went to the castle in Scotland? Yeah, that was awesome. Yeah, that was decent. Except Randy wouldn't put his fucking shirt on. He'd look like an idiot.

I can't believe they. Why wouldn't you sell booze at a castle? Like, that's what. Except Randy wouldn't put his fucking shirt on. He'd look like an idiot. I can't believe they... Why wouldn't you sell booze at a castle? Like, that's what people want to do. They want to get drunk at a castle. You know what I mean? Why wouldn't you do that? They're still pissed off they didn't have a bar at the castle. It was stupid, man.

I agree. It's a historical... And how much booze do you think they drank in that fucking castle? They did, probably, but that doesn't mean they want the tourists all fucking shit-faced. Why not? They would make more money. Shitting themselves in the castle. Covered in a liquor bar and a hash bar.

Throw some laser lights in there. Yeah. Some waitresses. Just like back in the olden times. Yeah. Laser lights. That's the first thing I think of when I think of fucking Castle from the 1400s. Well, they probably weren't laser.

They were probably like laser candles. Hmm. I don't know, but that's a stretch. That's a good band name. Laser Candles. It is. I like it. What kind of music would they sing?

I don't know. Electronica. Yeah, probably Electronica. You know? Yeah. But if it's in a castle, they'd have to throw some Celtic shit in there with it. Electronica Celtic.

That's a time. That's a good time. There's Electronica Celtic out there, for sure. Also in Florida, this would freak you the fuck out. This guy went to drop off a parcel at the U.S. Postal Service at three in the morning.

Goes to open the door and there's a fucking seven or eight foot alligator in the lobby roaming around. How the fuck did that happen? Can alligators open doors?

Some of them can. Well, they use their snout or their little tiny legs. Alligators can open fucking doors. What? To pull a door open? Maybe to push one in. No, doors open out. Well, what about the electronic sensors?

That's how he got in. Oh, fuck. See, how does his brain get better during lockdown? Mine doesn't. I would never have thought about an automatic sensor. I've been off the door. Where is it, though? It was at the U.S. Postal Service in Florida.

Oh, yeah, that's all it was. You think those things work at three in the morning? He could have pushed the handicap button with a snout, too. No way. I never thought of that either. Fuck, because I was up most of the night going, where the fuck did he get in there? The door was open, though, was it? It wasn't locked, obviously, because I don't most of the night going, where the fuck did he get in there? The door was open, though, was it?

Like, it wasn't locked, obviously, because I don't think he could have used keys. Maybe he could have used keys. You don't know. They've been around for thousands of years. You're giving them way too much fucking intelligence right now. They're a lot smarter than you think, bud. They're not going to turn a fucking key or anything like that.

They might. He might stand up on his haunches and use this little alligator that happened you know what he might have watched the person that punched in the code and then he got over there and he got up sideways no man he couldn't look though because his nose would hit the what are you good no's over here, so he'd be like... But what am I talking... There's no fucking way that would happen. There's no way, man.

Mate. No, man. In a cartoon, it could. Well, it's June the 11th. Lots of shit that we can get drunk to tonight if we want. All right, what is it? June the 11th in 1963, a Vietnamese monk burned himself alive.

I remember that. It was a fucking thing to party about. Well, you gotta respect him. He didn't even make a sound while he fucking... What? No. You've never seen that footage? It's famous. He was protesting because there was nine civilians shot for protesting the ban on the biggest flag. He's just sitting there, you know, and is praying with the legs crossed, and he just goes out like a fucking torch, and he doesn't even flinch.

He's in a state, man. That's what happened. He doesn't even flinch. You know what? Cheers to that fucking monk, then. I'll drink to him. Good going, man. 1982, E.T. premiered on June the 11th.

June the 11th? What year was that? 1982, E.T. came out. He cried during that E.T. 1993 out. I cried during that E.T. 1993, Jurassic Park came out. E.T., bone home. We should watch E.T. tonight and get fucking banged up. Fucking E.T.'s big finger coming at you.

I know, bubs. Bubs, get the fucking wiener out of my face. 2002, on June the 11th, American Idol premiere. It's a fucking big day, boys. 2002? Yep. Holy fuck, I thought that show was only four or five years old. Who was the first winner?

Oh, fuck. Reuben? Carter? Reuben Carter. I don't know who the fuck's that. It was Kelly Clarkson, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. You're right, I think that Reuben Carter it was Kelly Clarkson wasn't it oh yeah

you're right I think Reuben Studdard won season two oh that's who I'm saying great big the big black fella oh fuck he could sing then it was your favorite

Clay Aiken Clay Aiken I didn't like Clay Aiken it was your favorite wasn't he he I didn't like Clay Aiken you fucking liked him no I did not

how many calls did you call in to vote for Clay Aiken it cost you about 150 you call in to vote for Clay Aiken? It cost you about 150 fucking bucks. I never voted for Clay Aiken. 1933 on this day, Gene Wilder was born. Ooh. Lazy Saddles.

Yeah. Yeah. He was in Land on Rio. And he's Charlie and the Chocolate Fucking Fats. Stir Crazy with Richard Pryor. That's the best one of his movies. History of the World. Was he in that one?

He was in a lot of movies. And he was married to Gilda Radner. 1943, Henry Hill got born on June the 11th. That's what Goodfellas was based on. Henry Hill. He was a bad motherfucker. We're watching Goodfellas tonight after E.T. Okay.

I don't want to watch E.T. You guys. We're watching E.T. Tell me when your fucking Goodfellas tonight after E.T. Okay. I don't want to watch E.T. You guys. We're watching E.T. Tell me when your fucking Goodfellas meet. E.T. The Extratastical. 1945. Robert Munch.

Robert Munch. Love his books. They're fun. I still read them today. You don't read his fucking books. They're funny. I like the pictures. With the cover.

I like the stories. Ricky, come on. Everyone knows you're fucking lying. They're funny. I like the pictures. With the cover. I like the stories. Ricky, come on. Everyone knows you're fucking lying. All right, who else? Someone that you'll be very sexually active towards. Who is she? 1956. Joe Montana.

Joe Montana. Come on, man. Joe Montana. Joe Montana. You know how he learned to throw a spiral? How? A kid, two-year-old. Babies. Two-month-olds.

Two-month-olds. He could fucking spiral a baby. Good night, everybody. Yeah, that came full circle, bubs. Well, it's good to fucking be back. Hopefully we stay back permanently. What do those things taste like heated up like at three o'clock in the morning?

Good? Delicious. Alright, that's what's happening. We're going to have one of those again later. I'll tell you right now what they taste like cold. I want that. I'll eat that later. Alright, it's good to see you guys. Let's get fucked up. I want to drink like right now and continue on until we pass out again.

Let's do it. All right. Want to say goodbye to everybody? Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, everybody. Bye,

everybody. Terima kasih telah menonton! Субтитры подогнал «Симон»