Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 3 - Heaty Mac 'n' Cheese With Deep-Fried Chicken

Episode Date: April 23, 2019

Ricky's got a new gift - an awesome $6 microwave! Before he blows the f**kin' roof off the trailer with it, he cooks up the best Kraft Dinner ever, guaranteed to get him banged! Also: Visiting a bear in jail, the worst ever Guinness World Record attempt, and the Boys make a phone call to... Canada!

No, you cannot fucking turn off a man's cable in the middle of the fucking playoffs. No, I get that. I'll... Come on, Buffs. Listen, bud, I need to see the game tonight, okay? I will fucking come down there tomorrow myself and pay you some fucking money. You've got to turn it back on for tonight, though.

If I miss the game tonight, I'm canceling my fucking cable. I don't give a fuck. Turn it back on just for tonight, I'll fucking... You know what? Fuck yourself. I'll go watch the fucking game at the bar, you cocksucker. What happened, Ricky? Jesus Christ.

I turned my fucking cable off in the middle of the playoffs. Well, you don't pay your bills. You gotta pay the fucking bill, man. How many months overdue is it? It's about fucking time, boys. I've been waiting for you. Look at this, Ricky. What the fuck is that?

Look at this. I told you I fuck is that? Look at this. I told you I was getting you a microwave. No. And I got you a fucking microwave. Nice! He picked it out, but, you know, we kind of brought it here together. Looks pretty old. What do you mean we brought it here together?

I picked it out and I carried it. It's got stains and shit all over it. It's used, but it's nice, Ricky. It works. You know what? That's a fucking nice gift, buddy. Thanks. Thanks. You're welcome, man. You're gonna have to fucking teach me all the it. It's used, but it's nice, Ricky. It works. You know what? That's a fucking nice gift, buddy. Thanks. You're welcome, man. You're gonna have to fucking teach me all the codes.

It's easy to use. Where's the box? Where's the box? Jesus Christ. Ricky, you're fucking... It's not me. Here, Ricky, plug her in. Plug her in.

I got her at Value Village. Six box. Are you serious? Oh, she sounds like she might work. Oh, she works. Six box. Are you serious? Oh, she sounds like she might work. Oh, she works. Six bucks. There you go.

Microwave oven. Hang on. It fits in there nice. Well, that's where microwaves go. That's why there's a plug there. It's built for microwaves. Fuck, I don't even remember the codes. I remember the code for popcorn was code 211, I think.

What are you talking about codes? The codes you fucking punch in to get everything cooked rightly. It's not a code, Ricky. Popcorn's 2-30. That's two minutes and 30 seconds. So I need to clean it? Jesus Christ! Christ, Ricky! Fuck!

Ricky! Rick! Ricky! What the fuck is wrong with you, man? It's not real. Jesus Christ,! What the fuck is that? What the fuck is wrong with you man? It's not real. Jesus Christ, it scared the fuck out of me. Bob's. You fucking...

I think it wouldn't scare you that bad. Jesus Christ. It's rubber man. It's rubber. Is this a squint? It's a what? Squint. Squint.

Ricky, I'm too big to be doing this with you right now. Man, I broke my fucking good backer scratch. Holy fuck, that was amazing. That was pretty fucked. Here, bud. I didn't think he would get that scared. Man, right on, boys. I got those for you. We're gonna have a feast.

I got those. I carried them. But I paid for them. Who carried them? Okay, Julian carried the hot dogs. Wow, you really need a... I got those. I carried them. But I paid for them. Who carried them? All right. Okay, Julian carried the hot dogs. Jesus, Pops. Wow, you really need a...

Here, let me see this for one second. Give him a pat on the back with it, because he really needs it. There. Funny, Pops. All right, let's get this shit going, boys. Holy fuck, that scared me. All right, let's get it going, boys.

I got some food cooking here. I just want to talk about this codes thing, Ricky. You know that when you put microwave popcorn in and you go two, three, oh, it just means two minutes and 30 seconds. It's not a code. What do you mean? It's just a timer.

It's a timer? It's a countdown timer. That's how a microwave works. I know, there's like different levels and... Well, yeah, but you just put it on... The numbers are just times, Ricky. When you put in a... You put in a roll and you put it on...

12 seconds, did you think a roll was code 12? Fuck, fuck, watch. One minute, see? 59, 58, 57, 56. Okay. It's a timer. You can't run a microwave with nothing in it. That's how you fuck them up. I know, but see, when it says...

I didn't... It says 100, and then it would go to 59. That's... So I thought code 100 was actually, like, 59 seconds. It's one minute, Ricky. 58, 59, one minute, 60 seconds. Now I'm feeling pretty fucking dumb. It's all right. It's just not, Ricky. 58, 59, one minute. 60 seconds. I'm feeling pretty fucking dumb. It's all right.

It's just not a big deal. Just don't try to, like, stuff a big turkey in there and try to... You guys hungry? I got some fucking mac and cheese. Mac and cheese? And I got some... beautiful... chicken fingers.

The good guy. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, a little well done. Not bad, not bad. How come you only cooked three? I made mac and cheese because that's all I had left. Don't be greedy, bubs. You're gonna have mine.

I'm not even gonna have one. I was just wondering why it's an odd number. He usually cooks, you know, 12. You guys like lots of butter with your mac and cheese? I know I do. All right, we gotta come up with some kind of an opening here. You should start a health show, Ricky. A cooking healthy show.

Butter's healthy. It's all natural. Just add a stick of butter to one butter craft dinner. Whole stack. I know what I'm having. I know what I'm having. What else do I need? I need some milk. I'm gonna have my vodka, Ricky. Ricky, you cooked the fucking noodles way too long, man.

No, man, this is good. I thought that was mashed potatoes. Well, you cooked the fucking noodles way too long, man. No, man, this is good. I thought that was mashed potatoes. Well, you guys were... You guys took too fucking long to get here, didn't you? Well, I was out shopping for a fucking microwave, if you didn't notice. I appreciate that too, bubs. I got your microwave. Bubbles knows how to deliver. All right, let's get this fucking thing going, whatever it is.

Ricky, there's too much butter in here, bud. No, no, you can never have too much butter. Then it'll make it too runny. You can. You can't have too much butter. Fuck off, man. You're making butter noodles go everywhere. See, the problem is you only got one little package of that fucking cheese stuff, right? That's gonna just taste like shit.

That's still hot. Got some... sauce through here. What was that? Ricky, you know the hash you left in my shed? The hat? The hash? Yes.

It was only this much. It was a tiny chunk, but we smoked it. And I am fucked. I'm a little... I'm a little cookerooney myself. It was the... the was the cashmere. It's different than regular, that's for sure. That stuff is a little crazy, but it's good, isn't it? It's something else.

It depends on what you're doing. It's very giggly. Giggly wiggily. I guess this is making this a lot more fun, huh? All right, let's fucking... Ah, fuck. We're just gonna have to pass a spoon around, if that's all right. Right.

What do you mean, pass it around? We'll have different ones for each person. How about that? I just don't want to have a lot of dishes to do, because I got to sleep after this. Pass the pot around? Everybody grab a fork. Mix that fucking shit up, man. I'm fucking getting to that, aren't I?

You gotta mix it. I can use my fork for that, I guess. Did you put milk into it? No, not yet. I just get it, just get doing its thing first. All right, you know why I made mac and cheese? Why? Because of some of my fun facts I brought today.

Can't wait, bud. Guess what the fun facts are about. I love your fun facts, probably about food. No, Canada. So what's that got to do with mac and cheese? Got a bit of a weird smell to her. Yeah, that's the smell of fucking a pound of butter. That's what that is.

Butter's all natural. Cleans you right out. Fixes everything. Butter is not all natural. What are you talking about? It's... What the fuck is going on? Oh yeah.

Okay, I fucked up. How come there's a porno with two men in it? It's not a fucking porno, man. It's just two fellas. That's weird. Alright, okay, what are we doing? What is the name of the show again? Perk After Dark.

Perk After Dark. It was dark not that long ago, now it's after that. It's a great name. It's actually, the more I think about it, I think maybe Ricky's right. It's got a bit of a, yeah, it's good. Try it, you'll love it. What, this?

Fun fact about Canada, Canada eats more mac and cheese than any other nation. Well, that's because of Kraft. Yeah, it's because of Kraft, man. But they have it at other places. I don't think they got Kraft dinner like in the States, do they? It's a bit granular, Ricky. I'm good, man. I'm good.

Pussy? It's pretty good, though. It is pretty buttery, but you're right. You can't have too much butter. All right. Let's, uh... What are we doing today? I'm excited today. Last time I wasn't so excited,

I was sort of woken up to do this fucking thing. I'm amazed. You hit everything ready. Got gifts. So what was the fact? Did I miss a fact already? Canada consumes more mac and cheese than any other nation. Baby.

That's pretty proud. We should make that more known. I love that shit, but I don't like it cooked that much. That's why we're so healthy. As he shovels a fucking... It's not really that... It's not really considered healthy food. Yes, it is. It's pasta. Or pasta, depending where you're from.

That stuff isn't... There's nothing good about that. It's not healthy, Ricky. Craft dinner is not healthy. I dis... Disobey? No. What is it? Disagree. Disagree. Disabay? See, look at the fucking meat, the white meat. What do you got?

These are the no-fucking-around kind. Look at that. That's real chicken right there. Not that... Expensive kind. ...beat to fuck and then rebuilt into a fucking strip. Those are nice. Let's take a chicken, put it in a blender, form it into a strip. It's stupid. That's how they make them? No, that's how they make chicken nuggets. Let's take a chicken, put it in a blender, form it into a strip.

It's stupid. That's how they make them? No, that's how they make chicken nuggets. They make like a... These are the real ones. These are the real... That's real white meat. Fuck. Healthy as fuck.

Not processed. Yeah, they're not healthy again, Ricky. It's not healthy. That's a real chicken right there. I know, but it's breaded and deep fried. So it's... it's not healthy. That wouldn't be the word. This is my half right here, because I double-dipped.

I do, too. Well, I'm sure you got nothing to compare it to. Oh, thanks, man. I'm just reading this fucking story. This poor brown bear, his name is Katya. A what? A brown bear. He's serving a life sentence in a

Kazakh prison. A bear? A bear. He's in prison. He fucked over a dog, didn't he? No, he fucked over two people, man. He used to be a circus fucking bear. Now he freaked out because their dick's probably at the circus. And they put him in jail. He's in jail, man.

Let's go break him out. Is he in bear jail or person jail? No, it's a person jail. Well, that's fucked up. How do they let him in jail. He's in jail, man. Let's go break him out. Is he in bear jail or a person jail? No, it's a person jail. Well, that's fucked up. How do they let him go in the cafeteria? Don't know, man. I think he's, uh, I think they just leave him there. Well, he's a fucking bear, Bubbs.

He's not gonna sit and eat in the cafeteria. That's my point. He's gonna eat more people. He went to a campsite for a kickboxing tournament and got too close and, uh... And ate some people. He ate some people. I wonder, can you go visit him?

Probably, man. Do they set him up in the glass and put the phone up to his ear so you can talk to him? No, man, they're not doing it. It's a bear, Pops. I'm trying to read this fucker thing. I know, but he might like to hear, you know, people talking into his ear. Oh, yeah, you know what? He's a good bear. The second guy was read this fucking thing. I know, but he might like to hear, you know, people talking into his ears. Oh, yeah, you know what?

He's a good bear. The second guy was a drunk fucking idiot. I could see Ricky doing this. Went up to the cage, and he was drunk, so he tried to shake its hand. Grabbed him and ate him. Fucked him over, man. Yeah.

Well, that's what happens. Don't go trying to fucking shake a bear's hand. Ricky jumping. Sweet Jesus. What? That's Frank's hot sauce. There's now a half a bottle of it in there. This is the no-name brand called Oh Mama.

Oh Mama. Well, Oh Mama, I would say it's gonna be Oh Mama. Holy fuck, that's gonna be as hot as a rabbit's snake's teeth. How have I never tried this before? Maybe I have. I got no ketchup, so you improvise. Get her stirred. I wanna try it too. I like my hot sauces.

You know we have a hot sauce coming out? Do we? What's it called? Yeah, we... Oh, the... Okay. Remember? You already saw it. I didn't get a bottle of that shit yet. What's it called?

It's called, um... Trailer Park Boys Hot Sauce. Is it good? The sauce or this? No, that... Is that good? Yeah. And is the sauce good, Bub? That just made that way better.

Holy fuck. It's a game changer. I thought you put in too much, but you know what? I think you... It's got some kick to it. I think you nailed it, Ricky. Man, mac and cheese with fucking hot sauce. It's fucking good. Oh, yeah.

You know what we should have did? We should have chopped these up, made these into little pieces, throw that in there. You can still do that, man. Oh, fuck. You know what? Do it up. It's not too late, is it?

It's never too fucking late for that. Here. The greatest thing you can put in Kraft Dinner is crispy bacon. What the fuck is this? It's yours, man. If you fry up some crispy bacon and crumble it up and put it in there, luck the fuck out. Oh, that sounds good. I've never done that before either. Ricky, you've had that in my shed probably a thousand times.

What about some... You know when I make Kraft Dinner and you say put the crunchy bits in it? Yep. That's bacon bits. What about some crumbled up like ground beef or something? I thought it was grapes. Ground beef doesn't translate as well. I'll tell you right now. What do you mean? I was wondering why the grapes tasted like bacon. You what? I was wondering why those grapes tasted like bacon.

What grapes? I thought it was grapes you were putting in the mac and cheese. Cut up grapes. What the f- how would you get, like, Ricky? Well, it looks the same, you know. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to you were putting in the mac and cheese. Cut up grapes. What the f- how would you get, like, Ricky? Well, it looks the same, you idiot. Doesn't look the same.

When are grapes ever crunchy, though? Raisins. When do they look like bacon bits? Fuck you. You almost got away, didn't you? Alright, do you have anything to talk about or you're just gonna hang out in my fucking kitchen and do nothing? Well, there's another little story here, man.

Kinda touched my heart a little bit. Ah, fuck. It must be something that we would do for each other. This 12 year old little fella. Yeah. He's been piggybacking his disabled buddy around for like six years around school and shit. No way.

Takes him to fuck, go get some of the Eid, go take a piss. That's pretty awesome. I would do that for you guys. Oh yeah, it'd be a fucking joke for you. You could do us both at once. One on each arm. If I had to, I would try, man.

No offense, but I don't think I'd be able to piggyback you around, Julian. Come on, boys, hop on. Hop on the seats, the muscle seats. All right, now you're making a thing out of it, Bob. Hop on the muscle seats. I said I would do it. You don't got to joke around with that.

You're trying to embarrass me. So he piggybacks his little buddy around. Little buddy around, yeah. How big is his little buddy? He's just a little fella. Like, give me a size reference. I'd say this 12-year-old guy. What's his little buddy? He's just a little fella. Like give me a size reference. I'd say this 12 year old guy. Uh, what's his name?

God damn it. Okay, he's... He started piggybacking the dude when he was four. Oh, so he's in shape now. He's been doing it, well, I don't fucking know. His name is Zhang Z. And then his buddy that's pumping them around Bing Yang who's bigger Bing Yang Bing Yang's the big dude he's the one piggyback and zing zang zang Z well

it's you know what cheers to those but it's good for both of them it's good for the guys getting piggybacked it's also good for the guy doing piggyback he's getting cheap and he's probably getting fucking banged because the chicks are like oh man I'm our fuck this is the nicest fucking guy in the world. This is my new specialty dish. Here's an idea. What? Why doesn't he just get him a little wagon and then he could just tow him around?

Because he wants to pick up. That's why. This dude's totally fucking picking up on me. Next time I fucking make dinner for a date, boom! Mac and cheese, hot sauce, cut up chicken fingers. Holy fuck. Is it good, Ricky? It is great. I think you'd be getting banged if you served this up on a date.

It's pretty nice. Julian, do you not want some mac and cheese? No, man. Especially, you know, with the hot sauce, because then you're like, your mouth's burning a little bit, and her mouth will be burning, She'll be like, hmm, I wonder what I could put in my mouth to stop the burning. Ricky.

What? Jesus Murphy. Dude. I just meant, like, she'd probably want... Running. He's running up the fucking stairs with a buddy on his back. Show me again. Looks like a backpack. It's his little buddy there. He's a little human backpack.

That's fucking great. So those guys are buddies, man. That's a nice story. Those guys, that guy deserves, you know, a medal or something. Look, he's not even, he's hauling them. He's a pretty big dude. How come he's hauling them though? Does the other fella's legs don't work, I guess?

Yeah, yeah, he's fucked up a bit, man. That's fucking awesome. That's awesome. It's good if your legs are jankety-jank. Holy fuck. It's good to have a buddy like that. That's right, man. Carting you around. Imagine if he found out that his legs actually worked on him

and he was just fucking with his buddy. There's no way he's doing that, man. That'd be fucked up. Yeah, that's a good feel-good story, huh? Five stars. Pretty good, that's a good feel-good story, huh? Five stars. Pretty good, Ricky. Pretty good. But see, that would taste like shit if you had those shitty fucking blender nuggets. Yeah, blender nuggets are no good.

Oh, I got some more facts about Canada. All right. And I knew this. Canada's the most educated country in the world. I... are you sure? Over half the residents have college degrees. I thought it was Finland. Nope.

It's Canada now. Wow. Well, there you go. Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world's lakes combined. I knew that. I did not. That's a lot of fucking lakes. Well, you know, Dartmouth is the City of Lakes, isn't it? That's what they call it.

Yeah. City of Lakes. They could just change the name to Lake. Lakes. Why? I don't know. At least it would mean something. Oh, man.

We had the lowest recorded world temperature of all times. I believe that. Minus 81.4 degrees Fahrenheit or minus 63 degrees C. Minus 63 is chilly. Yeah, man. That's fucking frostbite. I already told you this one. Canada consumes more mac and cheese than any other nation in the world.

I think they also said that Canada's the number one place to live now, that, you know, marijuana's legal, right? That makes it definitely better. Bups, this poor fucker, you should try to do this, man. The singer performs for 106 consecutive hours to break Guinness World Record. 106 hours? Gets disqualified.

Oh, that would suck. Why? The 106.7 minutes. How did he fuck up? That's over two days. Well, they say you're allowed only like 30 seconds in between tunes. So Buddy was doing his own thing. How many? 30 seconds? 30 seconds. But Buddy was just like going from tune to tune and thinking

he'd add up the breaks. So then he'd take a two minute break. So he fucked up. But they didn't tell him until he was already like a hundred and six point seven hours in man that sucks what a stupid fucking idiot hundred and six hours is over four fucking days no think you can do it 24 hours in a day Ricky oh I know that times four is what 96? 96. So then... And it was how much? A hundred and...

106.7. That was five days. 24, no. Ricky, four. Almost four and a half days. Poor bastard. I don't know if I could stay up that long. So he's saying that...

With the right drugs, you could, for sure. But he's not going to be on drugs. I'm sure he's not snorting lines, is he? No, he's not doing any drugs. But he's saying that... With the right drugs, you could, for sure. But he's not going to be on drugs. I'm sure he's not snorting lines, is he? No, he's not doing any drugs. But he's saying, hey, look, I gave you guys 6,420 seconds of free time. That's how he had it all fucking... He's dumb.

He thought he had it figured out. Well, he should have asked if he could do that. You can't just change the fucking rules without asking anybody. No, he should have. If you're going to invest that much time into a world record, know the fucking rules, bud. I, he should have. If you're going to invest that much time into a world record, know the fucking rules, bud.

I say he fucked up. He's, yeah, he's done. Carlos Silver from the Dominican. You're not that bright, dude. You fucked up, bud. Might be a good singer, but I don't know. Was he a good singer? Was he a horrible singer?

I'm guessing. I think he's just good at staying up. Imagine if he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket and you had to listen to him for four days. That's why they disqualified him. Is there any video of him singing? Oh yeah, okay, here we go. Let's hear the cocksucker. What did you say? Carry a what in a bucket?

A tune. Here we go. What the fuck's going on? He's talking. Is that Carlos? That's not him, is it? Dude's not that bad, actually. Imagine how long... Oh, is that him singing in the background?

Not too bad. Imagine how long those 40s would feel with this fucking tempo. Like, fucking shoot me. Buddy is singing to get laid right there. She's been doing, like, some high fucking impact dance. He's fucking Mr. Suave. He's, like, singing like a... Yeah, he's not bad.

Carlos, you're a good singer, man you're you're not that bright, dude No poor Carlos. I feel bad for him. I didn't know he had a whole band with him and stuff Yeah, what the fuck do those guys get they get nothing. You've always liked the Latin music haven't you? No, man, I'm not do like it but you know Where you going with this, man? Anything with some Cuban salsa, fellas dancing. Tight little dance pants. Anything with a cha-cha-cha and a bossa nova and a whoopie doo and a diddly doot?

There's no diddly dooting going on. You fucking liked the old Ricky Martin quite a bit. Is that his name? Fucking dick. That's his name, and no, I was not a fan of Minuto. Remember when Ricky Martin was out? Remember we used to come back and we'd say,

hey, Julian, what are you doing? And he'd be just like, living la vida loca, boys. That's what it was. I never fucking said that. He said that for more than one. You're the one that was fucking living la vica loda, man,

whatever it is. Living la vica loda. I don't know the song.' La Vica Loda, man, whatever it is. Livin' La Vica Loda. I don't know the song. Livin' La Vica Loda. I will blast your forehead. Livin' La Vica Loda. Okay, look at this. This is something you should try, Ricky.

Food art. And I can't believe they got a picture of bubbles here. With no glasses. What? First time ever. A picture of bubbles with no glasses. Oh, yeah, that's hilarious. There's Bubz.

That's hilarious. That's made out of food. That's hilarious. That's made out of food? That's made out of food, man. What kind of food? Probably mashed potatoes. You can see some shrimp down there and some tomatoes. That's probably pasta with a hair.

I don't fucking know, man. Jesus. You guys want to hear some more facts about Canada? Dying to. Largest coastline in the world. I think you probably knew that. Largest coastline? Yes, I did know that. Longest street in the world, Yonge Street. 1,896 kilometres, 1,178 miles.

That's a long fucking street. That's a long street, man. Here's one that I didn't know. We've been there. Mall of America. Yeah. Is that the biggest mall in the world? One of them.

Yeah, I think that's the biggest one in the world. Owned by Canadians. No way. Yeah. And they kicked us out. They did kick know that. And they kicked us out. They did kick us out. They did kick us out. We should have shown them our Canadian IDs. And you had no shirt on.

Canada-U.S. border is the longest in the world, also with no military defense. Yeah. Yeah. We have no weapons of mass destruction since 1984. Treaty. When did we have weapons of mass destruction? I don't think we did.

I don't know. We said, like, fucking ships. We never had any nuclear. Maybe ships. I think we had secret ones. They didn't tell us about it. We have no nuclear bombs. Got nothing nuclear.

Don't need them. Here's a cool one. You know when Pearl Harbor attack? Yeah. That was a bad one, right? Mm-hmm. Very. Canada fucking declared war on Japan

before the U.S. did after Pearl Harbor. They said, fuck you guys. How's that for having fucking somebody's back? You're fucking with our buddies? You guys are gonna pussyfoot around, not declare war? We'll do it. We got your back. What did we do about it? I don't know if we did anything, but we definitely said...

We declared war. We're gonna do something. Declared war, and then a lot of Canadians went and fought in the fucking war, and they kicked the fuck out of some people. Yeah, they did well. Don't ever underestimate the Canadian military, baby. Tell you right now. Canada is a Iroquoian word?

Is that pronounced? I don't want to fucking... Canada. What is it? Iroquoian? Yes. Iroquo... Yes. Iroquois. Iroquois. Ian. Ian. Word that means village.

Yeah. And I didn't know this. Canada has an official phone number. You know that story? Kanada. No, tell me. The settlers came over. Yeah. And they met the Iroquois and they were, you know, couldn't speak the same language.

And Buddy was pointing down at the village, Kanata, come down to the fucking village, Kanata, right there, Kanata. And they were like, oh, we just landed in Kanata, Kanata, Kanata, Kanata, Kanata, Canada, they said. Holy fuck, we must be in Canada. Nice to meet you. That's how it happened, man. That's how it happened man That's how it happened, but he was just saying come down village and fucking hang out. Did you know we had an official phone number? I did not I do know this What official phone there's a phone number for Canada 1-800-O-CANADA Fuck I knew that can we call it? Yes, but who named the earth earth?

That's a tough one. Johnny Earth. Who named the Earth, Earth? Yeah, don't hurt your brain too much because there's a catch to this one. It's probably God. They don't know. They don't fucking know.

They don't know, I remember that. It was probably somebody in ancient Greece, I'm guessing. Yeah, it's just some dude, probably drunk. Here, just wait, Ricky. 1-800-O-CANADA? Got it. 1-800-O-H-C-A-N-A-D-A. This is for real?

Oh, is it just the letter O or O-H? No, just 1-O. O- O-H? No, just one O. O-C-A-N-A-D-A. Call. Put on speakerphone, man. I wonder if we're going to get Trudeau. Thank you for calling 1-800-O-Canada. Merci d'avoir appelé 1-800-O-Canada.

So it's real. To continue in English, press 1. Oh, we're continuing. To continue in French, press 2. Oh, we're continuing. Whoops. Oh, fuck it up. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

What did... Why do people call this fucking number? You're on hold. So there's tons of people calling. I'm on hold. But what do you want? Like, if you're calling this, you want something. I just want to know what the fucking deal with the number is.

Is it Trudeau's line? No, it's not going to ring through to Trudeau. Might be a cell phone. Hello, Mr. Flynn speaking. Hi, I'm trying to call Canada. Well, you're calling 1-800-O-CANADA, a general information line for the federal program. What is your question?

Oh, awesome. I'm coming over from Finland, and I was looking for something fun to do. What would you recommend? You're looking for... You're coming from Finland and I was looking for something fun to do. What would you recommend? You're looking for... you're coming from Finland? Yeah, what's the most fun thing I could do in Canada? We're trying to figure it out. If you had to do one thing, what would it be?

Well, here we are at General Information Line for the Federal Program. Okay. We hear that you eat a lot of mac and cheese in Canada. Are you serious? No, we've got some facts about Canada, and that's what they say, that you eat a lot of mac and cheese. So we want to try that out. Most macaroni and cheese consumed of any country in the world. And you have a lot of lakes.

You're calling from which city in Canada? No, I'm calling from Helsinki, Finland. Well, I'm... Yes. You're calling from Finland? Yes, from Helsinki. It's hard to hear you. Okay, thank you. We're just gonna come over anyway.

We love Canada. We love it over there. If you don't have a serious question for the government of Canada, I will hang up. Okay, sorry. Jesus, Murphy, that was kind of rude. Thank you. Bye. Wow.

Kind of rude. Yeah, that is really fucked up. It's not the friendliest number, but oh well. No, not the friendliest. So you've got to crank up your friendliness there, Canada. All right. Okay. That's it.

You're going to have a name for this recipe here, Rick? This shit that you made today? I think I would like to call this Heaty Mac and Cheese with Deep-Fried Chicken Parrots. All right, okay, we're gonna throw that recipe up for everybody that's watching this. It's pretty simple. Just mac and cheese, you cut up some chicken fingers, the good kind, the real fucking chicken meat, and lots of hot sauce. Fuck, it's good. I would put extra cheese in it, maybe a cheese slice.

Yeah. Okay, there you have it. I think we're done, boys.