Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 3 - People Are Just F**ked

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

Is it Park After Dark... or F**ked After Dark?! The Boys discuss the weird stuff people shove up their p**sholes, and why you shouldn't eat grandma. Also: Bubbles dives into the simulation theory wormhole - is Ricky's brain ready for it?

What's up boys? What is up? How's everybody doing? Fucking lonely dude. Aroo? Yeah, we're lonely. Fucking lonely, drunk, going crazy. Lonely?

I'm a lonely man, bubs. Here look, I'll pat your chest. Aw. Julian. You just got me in the face. crazy. Lonely? I'm a lonely man, Bubz. Here, look, I'll pat your chest. Aw. Julian. He's got me in the face. Julian. What? Is that in your face?

Yes. It's weird, man. Don't be doing that shit. There you go. That's my tits. There we go. I got all fucked up. I thought today was Friday the 13th but it's Friday the 12th thank god

doesn't matter anyway Ricky that whole thing's a bunch of bullshit as you yeah is it though yes yes it is it's total bullshit Friday the 13th is a good day it's a fucking day of good luck I think

except for this one well no it's Friday the 12th is a good day. It's a fucking day of good luck, I think. Except for this one. Well, no, it's Friday the 12th, isn't it? Yeah, maybe that's bad luck. How fucking high are you guys right now? How high are you guys right now? I'm doing okay, actually. I'm probably at six and a half, maybe seven.

Nice. I'm about a seven. You're about a seven high? Yeah. Yeah, it's been planting week. I've been busting my cock all week planting man oh you guys on a you guys on a seven would be probably me on about a 12 ah i don't know bubs well yeah it is because you know when when you smoke every day it's like ricky i don't smoke every day but when you do you don't get that high anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah.

It's true. You got to smoke a lot more to get where you want to be. If you take like a month or even a week off of smoking dope, Ricky, you'd come back. You'd be so high, man. Don't talk so foolish. Not going to happen. I know it's hard to do, but I mean, I do. I can take a week off and then smoke and I'm just fucked so I don't know

just a tip for people out there that want to get fucked up more the only good thing I can say about being in the woods this long is that you know I've got to know where all the water sources are and stuff from growing my weed this year and now that the first full moon in June has happened

I can plant my weed crop because there'll be no frost well that's what the farmers say so hopefully they're not full of shit well farmers aren't they're not psychic ricky they're just basing it off historical data you know is that what the farmers all of all the rock or almanac farmers all mac yeah yeah well does that work? Well, some people base their whole fucking life on it. I think it's a bunch of superstitious horse shit. I mean, there's a little bit of maybe scientific data involved, but, I mean, the fucking, you know, it's climate change and everything.

How can you base it on an almanac? Okay, why is it called the Farmer's Almanac? Like, who's fucking writing this almanac? Is it a farmer? Or what the fuck is that? You know, is it just nuts? No, it started with a, there was a farmer named Al Manac. And he used to be a farmer down in the US. He was a big time farmer.

He knew everything about farming. And he took detailed notes for about 30 years on all the different things. Al Manac his name was. No, you're full of shit. No, I'm not. It doesn't sound quite right to me. His name was Almanac? Almanac,

yes. He was a farmer. He was a farmer. I don't believe you. Never heard of the name Almanac before, ever. Me either, man. What the fuck kind of name is that, Bubbles? Al Manak. He was a farmer.

I think he was from from Idaho. He was a potato farmer. He was the Manaks were a famous famous potato farming family. The Manaks. Jimmy Manak. There was Jimmy Manak. Al Manacks. Jimmy Manack.

There was Jimmy Manack, Al Manack, Bobby Manack, Bertha Manack, and Louise Manack. They were on family feud one year. The Manacks. You can look it up.

The Manack family. Full fucking shit, man. The Manack family went up against the Petersons. I believe. All right, I'm looking it up right now. The Minacks and the Petersons. It's been published since fucking 1792. Holy shit.

That was Al's great-great-grandfather, Alistair Manak he came to the US right at the start of things he was one of the pilgrims one of the original pilgrims Alistair Manak you look it up he was on the ship he was on one of the ships

or his grandfather was on one of the ships with Christopher Columbus, I believe. Really? What the fuck are you... I've not seen any of this shit, man. Alistair Manak, I'm telling you. He was... Have you ever heard of fucking... 1592, Columbus

sailed the ocean blue. See, I still remember that from school. 1492, Ricky. Fuck! Yeah, Alistair Manak. Alright, Bob, you're totally full of shit. I'm not seeing anything about fucking Alistair Manak.

You actually googled it. You actually looked it up. I'm just trying to see when it fucking started. It started back in 1792. Fucking Ben Franklin used to fucking read the thing. Ben Franklin was a...

Apparently he was a real miserable cocksucker. So where did they get all their information? They didn't have information back then, did they? They did have information back then, Ricky. They didn't have like satellites and shit though, did they?

No. Don't think they did. Radar? Or how did they get the weather figured out? They just guessed. They guessed, man. They asked Alistair Minack.

That's how they got it. They asked Alistair. Bubs, it was a guy named Robert B. Thomas. He's the guy that fucking started the goddamn thing. B.J. Thomas, the singer. I don't think so, bud. No. Robert B. Thomas, not B.J. Thomas. B.J. Thomas was not. He had nothing to do with the almanac. And then in 1861, it was Charles Louis fucking Flint that became the editor. And then he got into the fucking Furman shit big time. B.J. Thomas had nothing to do with the Almanac.

B.J. and the Bear, you're thinking of B.J. and the Bear. Because B.J. and the Bear, his uncle was a second cousin to Alistair Manak. So B.J. and the bear did have a... That's something I never understood. It was BJ and the bear, but didn't he have a monkey? He did. He did have a monkey. So he didn't have a bear.

Why was it called BJ and the bear? No, the monkey's name, I think. The monkey's name was Bear, wasn't it? Which is weird. Yeah, the monkey's name was Bear. Hey, Bear. Which is weird. Yeah, the monkey's name was Bear. Hey, Bear. That's dumb. That's fucked up.

That is kind of fucked. Why wouldn't he call him Little Buddy Monkey or Monkey Buddy or Hey Monkey or... DJ and Monkey. You know what? I ate a thing earlier, and I think it was mushrooms. I think it had mushrooms in it. Nice. Way to go, buddy.

Because you know what? The table's flexing a little bit here and it's actually not. I love that. I love that shit. I wish I had mushrooms. Can you order mushrooms online now? You can't, can't you? People are fucking taking them everywhere, all over Canada. Well, apparently I talked to them about

fucking 45 minutes ago because now i'm i can tell i'm right out of her that's everything's moving a little bit and the fucking that hot sauce is so goddamn bright there's no way it's normally that bright it's good it is good it is remember that uh million dollar treasure i wanted to go hunt hunting for in the rockies but that guy left yeah somebody found it so we're too late somebody found it thanks boys yeah a million bucks yeah that guy forest ben is that his name he hid a treasure there like 10 years ago million dollars jewelry and all this shit. Gold coins, gold nuggets. And nobody found it until like this week.

It's crazy. Did you say Forrest Whitaker? No, Forrest Fenn, I think his name was. Forrest Gump? Forrest Whitaker. Sure. Forrest Gump banged Forrest Whitaker Sure Forrest Gump Banged Forrest Whitaker And they had Forrest Fenn

Who hid a treasure Anyway that'd be a nice prize to find A million fucking bucks A million bucks would be awesome to find Ah fuck I wish more people would have million dollar treasures laying around that'd be cool well there's people that bury treasures all over the place man and forget where they put it it's fuck they go they fucking lose their mind get dementia and shit chipmunks do that too they

hide nuts and forget where they left them i've seen it on a movie once that's why there's so many fucking trees out there ricky because of of the chipmunks. And squirrels. Ricky, have you ever forgot where you put your nuts? A couple times. Wasting up the birds. What? I was joking, Ricky.

Oh, man. I was reading this thing, boy. 17 nurses revealed the worst things people got stuck up their penises, vaginas, and butts. Why would you read that? Whoa. Oh, did you? It just came up, man.

There was a guy in India that shoved a fucking phone charger cable in his wiener. I heard that. He got stuck in his bladder or something. It was two feet long. Two feet long, a fucking cable up his piss hole. Yeah, just wait. I have it here somewhere. Just hang on. Two feet long. The fucking cable up his piss hole. Yeah, just wait. I have it here somewhere. Just hang on.

Just hang on. There it is. Look. Whoa. There's the x-ray of it in his hair. And I think I got another. There it is. Look.

They took it out of him. That's what was in his wiener. He shoved the whole thing in his wiener. Is that a bit of blood in the pan there? I would think so. Yeah, it looks like there's a bit of blood there. Yeah, that would have been uncomfortable. Who the fuck does that?

I don't know. Apparently... You got some serious problems if you're shoving f***ing cords up your penis, I think. That's not normal. It gets better than that. Check this out. This is what one nurse cords up your penis, I think. That's not normal. It gets better than that. Check this out. This is what one nurse found up a guy's piss hole. Alright, this man came in with a

Barbie doll's arm stuck up his piss hole. An arm? Yeah, he apparently ordered a sex doll off eBay. He didn't get a sex doll, he got a Barbie doll. He got so pissed off, he ripped the fucking urn off the doll

right up his piss hole. Oh, I can't count the number of times I get mad and shove things up my piss hole just to teach the thing a lesson. That's brilliant. Brilliant logic there. Oh my God.

I'm so mad at the government right now. I'm going to shove my bells up my asshole. I'm going to shove my light bulb. Weird one. All right. I guess the guy hasn't been banged in a while. That's probably why. And he's like, fuck, not getting banged again.

I'm going to ruin my fucking wiener. All right. Another person. A lady came in with a knife still in her vagina. She claimed an intruder assaulted her, but the area was not bleeding. It was a knife that slid into her nicely. They revealed later she was getting revenge on her boyfriend. She stuck the knife up there.

Yeah. How does that get revenge on her boyfriend? Because I guess she was going to let him try to bang him. Then he would have just had a... Oh, my God. It was in there. It was in their handle first. Yeah.

He would have had a little whistle dog. That's a nasty one. I wouldn't know. That's a... Here's another one. Okay. A potato. He would have split it right up the middle.

Oh, baby. Yeah. She said this fucking... This woman came in, had a potato growing in her vagina. It was up there growing. Yeah, I heard about something like that. A potato!

That's a weird one. A potato. I don't know. Maybe she had a... I guess if you cut the eyes off the potatoes and plant them, that's how you grow a potato, something like that. So she stuck it up there. I don't know why she was playing around with the seed or whatever.

I don't know. Maybe she got an itch and the fucking thing was on her finger and it went up there. Who knows? All right, here's another one, boys. Jesus. A dude came in with a flashlight up his ass he said he accidentally fell on his bed and the thing went up there bullshit he was he

was putting it up there for fun absolutely well I mean I failed on the flashlight went right up my ass and that's he's had to be the most unlucky fellow in the world was it shining up or was it shining out because the doctor you know when the doctor first you know put the old thing in there to do the whoop if there was a light shooting out at him it might have you know startled him it would start i don't i don't i don't think the whole light being on is like you know part of this it's the fact that he had it up there well i think it would be startling though if you just went in and you said uh doctor i've got a pain in my arse and he goes all right bend over i'll have a look and then he goes like

that you know and there's a back fucking beam of light shooting out of there, he might think he's seeing, you know, Jesus's arse or something, I don't know. If it was a really powerful one, yeah, that would be weird. Well, that's what I mean. If it was one of those, you know, one of those ones they're selling on the Instagram where you light up the whole fucking, you know,

you light up your whole yard with a flashlight. One of those. If he had a tactical. If he had a tactical in there and you, you know, pry that baby open, you'd get blinded. Yeah, that would be a tough one. All right, this one's pretty. Okay, this guy, he was drunk,

and he stuck a crochet needle into his piss hole. Like, why would you do that? Does it... All right, I've never done it before, but people seem to be doing it a lot. Is there pleasure in that or what? Or is it just they're fucked? I think you'd have to have, you know,

some kind of a mental illness, maybe, to be shoving things in your piss hole, I would guess. just they're fucked i think you'd have to have you know some kind of a mental illness maybe to be shoving things in your asshole i would guess well yeah he had to get the thing surgically removed well i think it has a barbed end on it doesn't it and crochet knitting needle oh yeah yeah yeah yeah a knitting needle a knitting needle's just straight like a chopstick but a crochet has a it has a hooker on the end of it like a hoaxy i had to be tested one time for something and uh yeah they used a q-tip and that was quite uncomfortable so i can't imagine a crochet thing when did you have a q-tip rammed in your wiener ricky he had the clap. Remember, he got the clap.

I didn't have it. Lucy thought she may have given me something and it turns out she didn't have it and I didn't have it. I'm sunny. We don't need to talk about all the details, do we? Thanks for remembering that for me. Here's a weird one, boys. A guy tried to make a butt plug out of Lego and duct tape

and he stuck that up his ass. He stuck what plug at a Lego and duct tape. And he stuck that up his ass. He stuck what in there? A Lego butt plug. Jesus, Murphy. Yeah. Was he from the Minecraft? Maybe he was from the Minecraft world and it fit in perfect. Get it?

Because they're block people. They're made out of block. So you'd have a square arse I would think if you lived in the Minecraft world. There's nothing round in the whole place so you'd have a square arse for sure. What is a buck plug for? Is it to stop stuff from coming out?

Stop stuff from going in? I think it's just to have in there just to see what's going on. I don't know. Does it feel good, bubs? I don't know. I'll ask your mom. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever. All right. Here's another one. A dude had a light bulb up his ass. It got stuck. Yeah. He wouldn't And it got stuck. He wouldn't want it to break. And it was like one of the big bulbs.

It wasn't like the normal house bulb. Like a floodlight? Yeah. He had a floodlight up his ass. On the big end up. There's a fucking x-ray here. That's some serious structure going on there. Holy shit.

Okay, this one guy came in with a big old dildo up his ass. He was holding it under a bucket so nothing would come out. They finally removed it. His partner asked

if they could have it back and gave him a little wink. Guess they're going to be more careful. A big giant fucking herky, man. A big dildo. He had the whole thing up there. And he's like, hey, we'll take that back.

So they're gonna try it again. A live rat. Holy fuck. Who puts a live rat up their ass? Richard Gere. No, it's not Richard Gere. That was just a mess. All right, the rat started eating part of his colon,

so he's bleeding internally. I guess the guy put a condom over the rat to suffocate it, and then he put it up his ass so his breathing would hit his prostate, and he would feel pleasure. The rat died. The rat died. The rat died. Jesus Christ. People are twisted.

People are twisted. Should I go on? I mean, there's a carrot. There's a showerhead. I think we're good. Yeah, a guy came over with a showerhead and he had the cord

hanging down like a tail. I don't know, man. A ballerina figure. Who the fuck? You remember those little jewelry boxes? The little ballerina thing came up and was spinning? Yes. The guy put it up his piss hole.

Jesus. His piss hole. Yeah, he started bleeding. I can't imagine how that would even come close to fitting but Well, he got it in there easily, but it hurt trying to take it out. He started bleeding That's it. That's a nice one a toy lizard Okay

Right up the old quite a quite a list you have there, Julian. Jesus. What are we at? What is it? The top 50 things that have gone in somebody's... It's only 17, man. A pack of smokes and a fucking... And a lighter.

Inside a woman. That's a weird one. That is a weird one. Yeah. Jesus. All right. A set of tongs. It's because of the larger smokes, I guess.

Okay, this is a really weird one, man. A guy enjoyed putting Campbell's beef soup into his woman's vagina because he liked to eat it from there. She had a piece of potato that got wedged in there somewhere, and they had to get that out. Beef soup. Jesus, Murphy. Would she stand on her head?

How would that even work? I don't know, man. I don't. She'd probably have to put pillows underneath her butt, right, so she's sticking up on an angle. I think she'd have to do a handstand, wouldn't she? I don't know how she'd get the soup in there. Probably, I don't know, open maybe a bit and dump it in from the can or something.

I don't know. He enjoyed it. Sounds pretty messed up to me. Well, thanks for tuning in, everybody. I hope you're enjoying the park after dark today. That's all I got. The police in Kansas

City just passed a law where police officers can no longer have sex with the person they're arresting or a person they're interrogating or if they're interviewing somebody. Like they need a law for that? I can't believe they fucking passed a law.

Yeah, what the fuck? Jesus. There's like 35 states that don't have this law. So apparently police are okay to have sex with people they're arresting or something. It's bizarre. Well, I bet you it happens a lot. You know, people say, hey. Well, that's what I'm thinking.

If they're making a law, it must have the law. It's probably people saying. I don't want to go to jail. Yeah. Probably, you know, somebody saying, hey, anything I could do to not get that ticket? That's what Randy does. I mean, I've seen Randy do it.

That's what I was going to say. He's done it, man. I guess. I mean, he's proud of it. Yeah. Yeah. He's done it. I mean, he's proud of it. Yeah. It's a weird one. It's a weird one, boys. It is a weird one.

I've been arrested a lot of times, and no one's ever tried to have sex with me. What about Ted Johnson? Officer Ted never did? Nope. I'm right out of her, boys. Right out of her. Right out of her I am. So what's the plans for the weekend, man?

What are we doing? I mean, we're allowed to go to bars if we want, guys. I mean, they're opening the fucking things up. I don't think so. I don't think they are. What do you mean they're opening the fucking things up. I don't think so. I don't think they are. What do you mean they're opening them up? You can go to a bar, but listen, I don't trust it. I think, you know, people got sort of sidetracked with all the protesting and stuff,

and they sort of forgot about how deadly this cocksucker is. I think the numbers are going to go. You wait two weeks from now, holy fuck, the numbers are going to be all going up. You watch. I think so, too. I'm scared. I might stay in the woods just for a little bit longer just in case. Got to tend to my plants anyway.

I was kind of thinking, you know what your life is like, Ricky? I mean, this is just because it reminds me, you're like a video game. You're like that simulation sim city thing that's what your life is like right now you're well you know you're growing plants you're eating chipmunks listen i didn't wanna i didn't wanna bring this up but i've been i've been diving into the whole simulation theory wormhole and what do you mean i'm scared to talk to ricky about it because i think his head might blow right to the whole simulation theory fucking wormhole. What do you mean?

I'm scared to talk to Ricky about it because I think his head might blow right off his shoulders. What are you talking about? Well, there's people, very smart people, physicists and, you know, people, very smart people, and they're putting out the theory just the possibility that We all of us Might be just might be just a computer simulation. We're not actually People or just like the matrix like the matrix

basically like the matrix except like the matrix basically like the matrix except it's really happening and like some people like elon musk really smart you know people that understand physics and string theory and quantum physics they're all saying it's probably what's happening like it's like probably a one in a billion chance that we're not a simulation so it's freaking me out i've been reading a lot about it and i'm pretty sure that we're just one in a billion so i mean that i mean it's a pretty good chance that we're fucking a simulation that's what you're saying yeah i was reading this is not real i was reading one guy who said we're probably just a computer simulation and somebody you know greater, greater power, bigger than us, is running the simulation.

And once we figure out and prove that we're in a simulation, we're just going to get turned off because the guy that's running it's going to go, oh, they figured it out. End of simulation. Stop. It's pretty detailed simulation, Stop. It's pretty detailed simulation, man. So, Bob, you're saying there's some dude

out there in the universe that's got like fucking sitting behind a laptop going, oh yeah, we're going to fucking stir things up. Could be in time. Time for him could not. Called God. Well, that's what God would be in that case, you know. But whoever's running the simulation, that's who, that's what God would be in that case, you know.

But whoever's running the simulation, there's no saying that their time elapses at the same, like our whole, you know, our whole nine billion year history. It could be just a day. It could be just a day to the person that's running it. You know what I mean? Like it could be. They would have really had to, they would have really had to think shit out. But not if it's a simulation, Ricky,

because it's AI. It could be artificial intelligence that's running the whole thing. Oh, baby. You're talking like, all right, so the Earth is like one of those ant farms that you have. You know, a little...

You can see them building their tunnels and shit. It would be a computer. It would be an AI computer simulation probably that the person's running. It could be on a supercomputer. Whoa. Yeah. It's freaky, boys. It's fucking freaky.

So, you know, and you know how you have, you know how they, you know, they figure out history and this is you,, and you know how you have, you know what, how they, you know, they figure out history. And this is you, Ricky, you know how you always say, well, how do they know nobody was around back then? All of that, all of history, because what you're saying where nobody was actually there, but they can prove it with science. All of that could be just programmed into us because we're just little, you know, bits and bytes. Maybe history didn't happen.

It was just programmed into us. Oh, I know how. Oh, here, I'll figure it out there. I proved it. But all of that is all part of the simulation. You're kind of boss, man. I can't wrap my head around that. Yeah.

So at any given second, we could just shut off and we don't exist anymore and none of this would have ever happened it's freaky I don't think you should do any more acid Ricky in case you start thinking about that type of thing on acid I think you would just oh speaking of acid

we need to find a a bufo alvarius toad a what bufo alvarius it's a type of toad and uh yeah apparently their venom is like doing ayahuasca which i've never done but i'd like to try it so well, you know what it's not really real. It's just a simulation, right? Well, I'm real mad I've seen videos of people on that shit and it looks fun actually doesn't look fun, but they say it's fun So you look so boys. Oh, that's what you do, right? You got to lick it You got a like lick that shit off its back. No

You've got to lick the shit off its back. No, I think they... You either lick it or you inhale it. I think you inhale it. No, I think they take... One of them, anyway, they take the frog venom. They scare the fucking thing, right? They shove a thing in it to scare it, and it excretes venom.

And then they take that venom, and they put it on a needle, and they prick your skin with it. And I guess you just... Fuck, I guess you just right out of her. Yeah, there was a Spanish porn star that got arrested for killing some guy, I guess. Oh, I read that. I read that. He accidentally, they were doing some kind of a ritual with this stuff

and he freaked out and killed the guy. Jesus. Oh, I thought it was an overdose. What was it. I thought it was an overdose. What was it? I thought it was an overdose. Oh, maybe it was. I just read it quick. I thought he freaked out and killed the guy, but maybe he gave him

too much of the juice. I know he might have. I don't know. If you're going to be taking frog venom, I think you start with a tiny amount just to see. You don't know. If you're going to be taking frog venom, I think you start with a tiny amount just to see. You don't want to just start with a shot. Did you see that new kitty cat, Bubs? Grumpy Fitzia.

Who? This cat called Grumpy Fitzia. F-I-T-Z-I-A. Grumpy Fitzia? Yeah, he's got a permanently scowl the face he's the next grumpy cat I guess I'm gonna check him out I can't wait to see him

I love grumpy cats he looks pretty grumpy yeah you guys just talk amongst yourselves there and I'll try to look him up no I can't look him up right now. What's his fucking name again? Grumpy what?

Fits you. F-I-T. F-I-T. F-I-T. Grumpy Fits you. Grumpy Fits you. I think he's in Florida. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grumpy Fits you, the Cadillac of worms. Do you remember that song, boys? Are you sure it's not Kitsia? It could be. It is Kitsia, sorry, K. It's Kitsia. Oh, yeah, he's a grumpy-looking fuck.

Well, it doesn't help us if you look it up, because you can't put it on the screen. Just a second. I'll put it close to the fucking phone, bubs. Just hang on. Oh, yeah. He's a good-looking little fuck. All right, bubs. Oh, yeah. He does look pissed off.

He is mad. he does look pissed off. He is mad. He does look mad. He looks very mad. He looks like a nice fella, though. I like him. I wish you had a kitty like that. I wish I did, too. Yeah, me too.

I mean, I've had lots of grumpy cats over the years, but never one that became famous for his grumps. A lot of annoying fucking cats over the years but yeah everyone you know and everyone that became famous for his grumps a lot of annoying cats too then i was reading this gross story about uh should we tell a gross story or no yes yeah it said this here one man i think it's it's richmond but i think it's california maybe police went to respond to a call me when they went inside there was a This 37 year old man Dwayne Wallach the rock he was no Wallach and he was eating his grandmother He killed her and he was out there

Eating her Yeah, did... Did you say out? For food. Well, that's what I... I wasn't thinking... I mean, the chances of someone doing that is better than someone

eating their grandmother. Like... I don't know. Give me a break here, Bob. They were, like, trying to get him to stop. He's like, no. He kept on eating.

And then they had to use a stun gun to pull the fucker off. Was she. Was she cocked or was she just taking bites out of her? No, she was dead, but she was not cooked. Just taking bites out of her. Oh, fuck. Where was this at?

California. Imagine being the officer to respond to that shit. Why wasn't that over the fucking headline news, man? Like, that should have been headline fucking news. Man eats his grandmother. Tasered to fucking stop.

Well, people like that shit. People are fucked. I don't even know how you'd call that in. How would you call that in? Yeah, dispatch, I got a 1097 here. What's that? I got a fella eating his grandmother's leg meat. Send backup, please.

That's pretty fucked up, man. People are fucked. Jesus, a lot of fucked up people. I think that's what, I think today we have determined, without a doubt, that people are just fucked. That's all there is to it. Not everybody, but there's a lot of people out there that are. And there's proof.

There's people shoving shower heads up their ass, and ballerinas, little figurine ballerinas up their piss holes. Maybe they know something we don't. That's what I'm saying. Is there some kind of secret club or something? People are sticking things in their piss hole? Like, I don't know don't know man it's fucking weird do you want to join the club or ricky maybe the guy that was eating his grandmother i bet you the guy that has eaten his grandmother i bet you he had something in his piss hole and in his arse yeah bet you a thousand bucks because i

bet you it goes in levels like to be as crazy as you need to be to eat your grandmother, you're already shoving things in your pest hole and up your arse. No question. Totally. Totally. You don't start at eating your grandmother. I hope there was drugs involved or something, because that's some twisted shit.

Twisted shit? Holy fuck. Shitster. Twisted shitster. Man, there's... Ah, jeez. And she was 90 years old, so, I mean so she wasn't even

considered a fresh human. She's like, that's old meat. A fresh human. She was younger. It wouldn't have been as bad. It wouldn't have been. That's a 90-year-old fucking piece of steak.

Yeah, but not really. I mean, Jesus. It's not like she maybe you know maybe it's like wine it ages tastes better i bet you she'd be you know she's probably very tender probably tender fall off the bone wouldn't it be i don't know man but. But he was 37. His name was Dwayne. Yeah, Dwayne Wallach. He was eating his 70-year-old grandma or 90-year-old. Whoa.

Fuck me, man. This guy was fucked. Hopefully he was on bath salts or something. I don't know. Hopefully. Hopefully he was on bath salts bath salts well i hope there's a reason for it i hope he just didn't all of a sudden kill his grandma and start eating her for no reason well i don't think there's a probably a reason that's going to make sense that's for sure uh i wonder like before he did it was he sizing her up for a while

going my fuck I'd like to take a bite out of that leg yeah he's been fantasizing about it since he was a young fella what? just couldn't control it oh my jesus he's worse than Dahmer for fuck sakes

and they tasered him and he's fucking still in hospital. Imagine being the doctor and the nurses trying to fucking treat this cocksucker. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, obviously he dies. If he was on drugs

and then he came out of the drugs, imagine like, you're like, hey, what happened to me? Well, you're working your house, bud, and you're eating your grandmother. Not out. Eating her. And we tasered you. Yeah, you're working your house, bud, and you're eating your grandmother. Not out. Eating her. And we tasered you. Yeah, you're, like, that's fucked up, man. Yeah, we got called to your

house, and we went in, and you were eating your grandmother's leg on the kitchen table. With a fork and a knife, you had the fucking thing sawed off on a big platter. Jesus, Murphy. That is just awful. Poor old lady. Yeah.

All right, so what's our plans for the day, boys? Are we going to drink tonight or what? What's going on? Are we going to do a Zoom drunk on tonight? Well, I got about 200 more plans to get in the ground, and then I'm good. Then I can finally maybe leave the woods. I'm afraid to leave the woods.

200? You say 200 plants? 200 left. Left? Holy fuck, Ricky. How many did you plant in total, Ricky? I've got close to 500 this year. I had lots of time on my hands to make clones and see what happens, I guess. 500 fucking plants?

Jesus, Murphy. And you're getting, what, 100 a pound per plant? Is that what you're getting? Or more? At least a pound. I'm hoping to get at least a pound per plant. It just depends on, well, a lot of it depends on Mother Nature. So 500 pounds of weed you'll have.

Well, some of them will probably die. People will probably steal some. You know, out of that 500, it'd be nice to get, you know, two or 300 pounds.

That'd be amazing. Two or 300 pounds. How much is, how much do you have to, like, how much can you sell a pound for? It used to be like two grand.

Now you're lucky to get 13, 1400. Two, 1400. Okay. No lucky to get $1,300, $1,400. $1,400? Okay. That's a lot of money, man. Holy fuck. Do you need help? If it happens, it's going to be a lot of money. It could be my retirement. Something always seems

to screw it over, doesn't it? I'm officially part of the fucking team growing weed here, bud. I'll help you fucking pick them or whatever you want me to do. You want in, Bugs? We can be a team again. I guess.

As long as I don't got to do anything, I'm not being the mule that takes it anywhere, but I'll help you. You can do the clipping. You can clip the buds off. You can clip all the weed leaves and shit. I can do the clipping. You can clip the buds off and clip all the weed leaves and shit, you know. I could do some clipping.

I'll do some clipping. We got a social distance clip. We got to be six feet apart clipping weed. We can do that. We can get a few people on board. Alright. Buzz, we'll pay you ten bucks an hour. Yeah?

You'll make a lot of money, bud. You're not paying. What are you talking about? I don't you $10 an hour. Yeah? You'll make a lot of money, bud. Yeah. You're not paying. What are you talking about? I don't get paid by the hour. Equal partner. Well, that's... No, well, it's...

Bubs, splitting something three ways isn't a good thing, man. It's easier to do 50-50, pay everybody else like $10 an hour. $15 an hour. Okay, so me and Ricky will will be 50 50 and we'll pay you 10 bucks an hour sounds good to me we'll split everything 50 50 50 you guys are fucked all right all right i gotta go i get speaking of epistles and stuff i gotta i gotta take a whiz like bad yeah i could i could use a whizing oh all right i wanna take a whizzing and that's just what i'll do boys i am right out of her i might go crack a bottle of wine try to get myself

level yeah do it do it i'm with you I'll drink with you all day, man. Let's do it. Okay. I'm going to crack a bottle of wine right now, and we're going to get back on the old Zoomeroni, and we're going to get right out of here. How does that sound? All right.

Sounds good to me. All right. Everybody stay safe out there. Good talking to you. Don't stick anything in your piss holes. That's great advice right there. Good talking to you, kinda. Don't stick anything in your piss holes. That's great advice right there. You heard it first here from Julian. Don't shove things in your

piss holes. That's right. Stay safe, everybody. Don't forget this thing is not done yet, and I would like to come out of the woods at some point, so don't fuck me over. Stay safe. All good advice right there. Stay safe and we will see you next week

when we try not to talk about shoving anything up your arse or in your piss hole. Terima kasih telah menonton! Субтитры подогнал «Симон»