Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 30 - Ratman Forever

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

The Boys are high as f**k and cleared for take off! Today's subjects include meth monks, the biggest cock in rock, and Ricky's new job in New York. Plus: Medical advice from Dr. Love, Dr. Cocknballs and Dr. Poop!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. How's it going, boys? You feeling it up today or what? Feeling it up. You feeling up for this? Feeling up for what? This fucking Park after the dark. Oh, I don't fucking know.

What about you, pups? What about me? You know what? We're not off to a fucking great start here, guys. No. Bumpy. It's a bit bumpy. It's definitely not a rocket ship.

Slow takeoff. Well, I timed out the edibles, so they should be kicking in, what time is it? Uh, probably eight minutes. V1. V1. V2. What are you talking, what? Rotate.

V1, that's, V2, that's a rocket, isn't it? No, it is, but that's not what I'm talking about. When you're taking off in an airliner, when you get to a certain speed, V1. Okay, what's that speed? V1 means no fucking turn back. Vector? V2. Maybe it's V2 that means no aborting the...

You got to take off at that point. Yeah. V1, yeah. V2, you cannot say, fuck, we're not doing it. And then rotate means rotate the plane. Pull back on the

fucking thing and she rotates on this action. Do they say that every time someone takes off? Terrain. Terrain. Terrain. No, you don't want to hear that, Ricky. Every time you take off the fucking, if you listen to the cockpit, which I do, you don't want to hear that, Ricky. Every time you take off the fucking, if you listen to the cockpit, which I do. Okay. You hear the.

V1. V1. Okay. V2. Rotate. Up she goes. Rotate. Sounds like sexual.

No, here's the plane. You're rotating the plane on this axis. Rotate. You could use it for sex, too, I guess rotating the plane on this axis. Rotate. You could use it for sex, too, I guess. V1, V2, rotate. Your momma liked to, she liked to rotate a lot. What would that move be, Ricky? What would V1 be?

Just a herd thrust. Get into the spider position. Back, backwards. V1, V, well, then you start calling out, you know, too low. Pull up. Pull up. You guys want to know, actually, because we're speaking and we're banging right now, despite what you guys have been told your entire fucking lives,

there's only six sex positions. Bullshit. We're talking heterosexual sex positions. No, there isn't. There's only six. There's only six, boys. Think about it. No.

Yes, I'm going to list them off to you, okay? The current and most practiced lineup is missionary. You know that one. Got that one, yeah. It's on top. Okay. Cowgirl. That's a girl.

Yeah. Top. There's reverse cowgirl. Spin her around. What about sideways? Just a second. Doggy style, behind. Spooning, just what you said there, Rick.

And standing. That's it. No. That's it. What else? Okay, Mr. Dr. Love, what else do you got? The drill press. The kickstand.

No, the drill press is basically reverse cowgirl. No, it isn't. Yeah, fucking right it is. That is not the drill press. Okay, how do you do the drill press? Explain it. I'm not about to explain it, but you can look it up. But it's still the same position, basically. What about the kickstand?

Okay, what the fuck is a kickstand? Kneeling one leg out to the side, hands behind your head. Still a missionary. That's missionary, Bob. Yeah, I see what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? Bob's. The drill press is not any of those. That is basically

yes, Bob's. That's the cowgirl or the reverse cowgirl. No, it isn't. What's the sideways called? The lady's on the floor with the drill press. It's a 69, isn't it? No, 69 is not a fucking banging. That's like in the mouth.

Well, you're still banging. But it's not in the woo-hoo. It's not right in there. The drill press is not one of the variations of the cowgirl. It is. She's on the floor. Okay. She's on the floor. Okay, she's on the floor. Arched up the couch. Oh, no, that's...

The drill press is going straight down. That's basically the missionary, Buds. You're between. Yeah. That's not the missionary. Okay, I'm going to talk to you. It's a variation on the missionary. Same angle.

Same angle, Buds. No, it isn't. It's a completely on the missionary. Same angle. Same angle. No, it isn't. It's a completely different angle. Yeah, well, sort of. All right, we've got to talk to this guy because he said, nah, there's only like, this is the sex, that's it.

Well, he's talking about physics. Really. It's a physics argument. Okay, let's go talk to some physics professor. This should be your new book. We're going to go to Dalhousie, talk to some physics professor. This should be your new book. We're going to go to Dalhousie, talk to a physics professor. About sex? About the drill press.

Okay. Let's do it. And also, boys. We should get a physicist on our fucking park after the dark. We need one. Because you know what? There's also another thing. We're not physicists, I guess.

That's something else. Your body wash, boys, could be killing your sex drive. Your body wash? Your body wash, yeah. What do you mean? We're talking that and deodorant because there's a fucking chemical they put in. It's called triclosan that's in a bunch of this shit that just fucks up your nuts, your cock and balls. Triclosan.

Triclosan is not good for your fucking fellows down there. So what, do you just fucking have BO and you're good at sex? They're making it. They're like saying, okay, maybe we should take it out of this shit. They're finding traces in fucking rivers and shit and lakes. But the shit ain't good for your dick, man. I got to go home, Rex. I guess I am home.

Yeah, you want to look at your toothpaste even, your deodorant, and your body wash, folks. Trek-Lazanne will fuck up your nuts. Is it just the nuts that it works on? It's fucking up, you know. That was a good PSA. And all that shit. And estrogen in women. It's fucking you up.

Really? That's a good PSA, man. Well done. If you want to keep banging healthily, get rid of that shit from your fucking medicine cabinet, please. Happy banging, everyone. Is it in Irish spring soap? I don't know. I'm going to be looking at the fucking labels, though. Me too.

What about Dove ferment? Don't know. See? I'm just learning this. I got to find out what's in Irish spring. You know what we got to do? We got to go. We got to save the people. We got to go into fucking the supermarket and just start getting rid of this shit. If they're not gonna take it off the shelves, we're doing it. Help out the fellow men.

I might just start using charcoal briquettes. That's a good thing to use, man, and your teeth and shit. Yeah, just chew on a charcoal briquette and your teeth will be shining. Really? Yes. I've eaten charcoal before. I don't remember having shiny teeth. Well, you didn't swallow it, did you?

Well, that's what eating is. Eh, you don't want to eat charcoal. Don't be swallowing charcoal, Rich. What's it bad for? It's just not good for your guts, man. Maybe it cleans you out. They say that your gut is basically you've got a brain in your gut and a brain up in your brain,

and this controls, they line up. Very important. Yeah, the guts are very important. And now you can actually get prescription poop to inject up your ass. What? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm serious.

You can now get prescription poop to inject up your ass. Because you have what? Because your guts are fucked and you're not producing the right microbes. All right, that makes sense. But where does it, that's not going into your gut, Ricky. That's going into your... Ass. Yeah.

Yeah, but... It's for people who have just... It absorbs all the fucking vitamins and shit in your colon. What's an enema? You need that, man. An enema? Is that when you ram shit up your ass? Water.

That's straight up, man. This is like prescription poop that's mixed with saline and some other stuff. Oh, that sounds... So it's a shit enema. Right. It's a shit cocktail. If you got this thing called CDI, it's like an infection. Yeah. Causes like severe diarrhea. You want this prescription

poop fucking figures. Whose is it? Well, it's somebody else's, obviously. It's created in a lab. No. No, it's like real shit. It's shit mixed with other components. How do you sign up to get paid for that? You must get paid a lot of money.

I can't believe you haven't entered the shit game yet. You could probably sell your shit for a lot. Muscle shit. Okay, so if you can get like, think about it, boys. If you can get 50 bucks even for shit. Yep. You're talking 100 people.

That's five fucking grand. Yep. Not bad. Not bad. You probably should start going around to people's septics. Collect it. No, you need it right out of the body. It can't go into the septic problem.

I'm thinking that's not going to be good. Check it up. So we're going to have to get a whole bunch of... Shit bags. No, a bunch of pie plates. Just some royal chinettes. I bet you, yeah. Just start knocking on doors.

Shit collector. What's the best meals for, you know, a nice solid tapered end? Cheese. I thought cheese bound you up. Well, it'll firm you up if you don't do too much of it. You want to have a nice organic chicken breast meal. Oh, yeah? That's the secret to a nice tapered end smoothie?

Yeah, maybe some vegetables. A tapered end smoothie. No on corn. Corn you can't digest. What's better, soft or hard or pellets? Soft. Deer pellets. If you're shitting deer pellets, you should

change something. Yeah, something's going on there, man. You got floaters, you got sinkers, you got pellets, you got... Man, it's a whole roadmap to fucking health. Explosions, putting skins. You putting skins, that's your problem. You've got that, and that's not good for you. That's a lie. That's your stomach lining.

And you got like 21 layers in your gut, so you just lost a couple when you got the skins. Oh, well, I'm moving to New York anyway. What for? Got a new job. I'm going to apply for it anyway. You know how much it costs to live in New York? I'm going to be making between $120,000 and $170,000. American.

America? Doing what? Killing rats. They do got a lot of rats there. They were looking for, they're seeking a rat. Zar. Is that what you say? C-zar. Yeah, C-zar.

A rat zar. To tackle the rodent problem, that's a somewhat bloodthirsty person, not opposed to wholesale slaughter. What? Bring it on. I'll fucking wipe out every rat in the city they got some big fucking rats here man not bigger than me well i'm not afraid of any of them you're not afraid of rats nope what about there's a thousand rats coming at you bring it on i'll fucking annihilate every one of them execution you know what we got a fair amount of rats here. But you know, I read this the other day.

You know where the most rats are located? In like, Atlantic Canada? Your mother's house? Yeah. Newfoundland. Oh, really? They got the most rats out of all of us. Wow, that's fucked.

Why is that now? They must come over on the ships, maybe. They must come over on the ships, bud. Or maybe they have a garbage problem. I don't know. Don't know what it is. What would be the best way to get rid of all the rats nine millimeter yeah handgun be a lot of rounds i yeah you might want to go to the shooting range for a bit there but ak 47 ak would take care of them in ar definitely about, like, a taser?

You know what you need? You know what you need? Something. I bet you you could build this, Bubz. We could make our own, like, grenades. Not like a razor one that's going to fucking, like, lose limbs and shit. Just something to throw in. Maybe take the legs off a fucking rat.

Flamethrower would be really cool. Flamethrower. Might be a bit cruel. I don't know. Fuck the rats. Yeah, you're right. Fuck them, man. Kill them. There's nothing wrong with a rat. He's a life as well.

It's a fucking... You gotta do it humanely. Chill the fuck out, Noah. You can't flamethrower them. What do you mean? Fuck the rats. They're dirty. You know what flamethrower a room for a rat? I would sit there and laugh my head off and fucking burn the shit out of a rat. Jesus, you're Jeffrey Domery.

No, I just don't like fucking rats. I don't like rats either, but I wouldn't flamethrower one. What about an electrical floor? As soon as they step on it, whoosh, click. That might be humane. I don't know. What about the fucking, you know, the glue things or the tape ones or the tear ones? Those are fucking not unique.

They're non. Fuck them. I didn't know you felt so strongly about killing rats. Don't give a fuck about rats, man, and their little shitty souls that I'd be fucking bringing to hell. Fuck them. Okay. Well, you're hired. You just said everything perfect for the job interview.

I want to be the sir of fucking New York. Let's split the job. I will do it. 90 grand each. I'll take fucking 90 grand. The rats are. I'd have shirts made up. Look at me.

The rats are. You know what? I think the ladies would like that, too. You know, if you get like... We do for a living. I fucking kill rats. New York, making 90 grand. Bring it on, ladies. You ever notice there's less rats? ladies would like that too you know if you do for a living i fucking kill right new york making 90 grand bring it on ladies you ever noticed there's less rats because of me and me partnership that's right the problem is we got to get into the country and we're going to get

to work do they i wonder if they do this under the table cash would be good oh i'm sure you could get an old one work visa cash if you could show them all-one work visa. Cash would be good. If you could show them, you know, your disdain and hatred of rats. You could convince them to pay you cash because then they don't have any liability. You can do whatever you want. You sound like a fucking lawyer there. I've been dealing with the courts for a little while. Yeah, you have been.

You're sure. I would put the Thai temple. They're left without any monks because they all failed the drug tests. The monks are into drugs. Math. What? Yeah. Fuck.

Math. Yeah, every one of them gone. Math monks. Now they're worried about the dogs and cats that live there because no one's there to look after the little fucks. Okay, what monks are we talking about? I'll go look after them. Where are these monks at? Thailand.

Thailand. The Thailand fucking, aren't those those, what are they called? The Shrong or what? Monks. Shaolin? Shaolin monks. That's not Shaolin. No, they're in fucking China or something, aren't they?

I don't know. I don't fucking know monks. You know what? What else are you going to do? Would you flamethrower a monk? Eh. If he pissed me off, I would... I don't know, man. I'm not into killing humans. Just rats. What if he looked like a rat?

I'd go over and punch him in the head, though, if he was being a dick. If he was holding a rat, maybe a quick little... So there's a bunch of meth monks. Yeah. That's a good name for them, the meth monks. How would they get into meth, I wonder? It's a weird one, isn't it? Rotten teeth and... I mean, you pretty much have to be on something to be a monk, I guess.

I could see if you were, you know. Can you meditate on meth? I would think so. I don't know. I've never done meth. Don't plan on it either. Maybe we should try it once. No, we're not trying meth.

We're not doing meth. Fuck's sakes, man. Take another gummy or something. It's not much difference than a drink, is it? Meth. Remember the fucking show Breaking Bad that we watched? Yeah, man.

There's a lot to it. Brian Granstein. Brian Granstein. Brian Cranstein. Jesus Christ. No, you were close. Brian Cranberry. This fucking woman freaked out on a goddamn Spirit Airlines flight down in Louisiana. She injured six sheriff deputies because she wouldn't get off the plane.

She was kicking them, spitting on them, clawing at them. Crazy motherfucker. I guess it was the niece of Governor Chris Christie. Oh, lovely. So she was on the plane. She was all fucked up, probably drunk, and she saw these people she assumed were Latino. She's like, oh, you guys smuggling cocaine, are you?

Is that what you're doing, smuggling cocaine, are you? Yeah. Fucking crazy person. Who fucking says that? I don't know. Things got a little heated and they're like, you gotta go, man. So, yeah, things got a little... Who fucking says that? I don't know. Things got a little heated, and they're like, you got to go, man.

She's like, nope. I'll tell you who says that. People whose uncles are the governor of New Jersey. I guess now she's fucked. She's got all kinds of charges against her. Assaulting officers. She's fucking assaulted six officers like that. When she was being arrested,

at any point did she say, do you know who I am? Bet you she did. Probably, yeah, probably. My uncle's the governor. I can fucking- I can do whatever the fuck I want. Spit on people and kick people if I want to.

Wow. Then there was a Monopoly game that turned into a shooting too down in the US. How does a Monopoly turn into a fucking- He's pulled his gun was a Monopoly game that turned into a shooting, too, down in the U.S. How does a Monopoly turn into a fucking shooting? He's pulled his gun out during Monopoly. Yeah, I know. I haven't fired it. You didn't kill somebody or shoot somebody.

I know, but the fact that you even reached for it. Well. There was a dispute over a property. Table got flipped. Board got flipped. Cut somebody's head, so he pulled his gun and fired a shot. Must have been boardwalk. It could have been.

Fire place, boardwalk, maybe one of those two. How many times have you, when you're losing, flipped the board and said, whoops, game's over, I didn't lose? I don't remember ever doing that. You've done it, Ricky. I've wanted to hit you a couple times, but you fucked me over that one time.

It's a hard game. Mervyn Gardens. Too long. I'm good for an hour with a board game. Well, it takes longer than that. You should not be playing that fucking game. Mervin Gardens. Too long. I'm good for about an hour with a board game. Well, it takes longer than that. You should not be playing that fucking game. We've had week-long games. The only game I'd play longer than an hour would be strip poker.

With the right people. Well, it's not going to be us. Come on, man. No, man. It's Christmas almost. Go play with somebody else. Let's have a game of strip poker. Christmas.

If you could play strip poker with somebody, who would you guys pick? One person. Male or female? It's up to you. Oh. Who are you thinking? God, that's a tough one. Yeah, I don't know.

I'll have to get back to you on that one. Fuck it. It's hard to pick one. Who would you pick? Fucking Charlize Theron. Are you kidding me? Jesus. It's hot as fuck.

Okay. Okay. All right. Is it present day? No. That's the beauty of this game. It could be anyone. Anyone.

What about that Czech, Amelia? Be good to play with her, maybe. Who? Earnhardt. Amelia Earnhardt? Just throw it in there, man. Why not? I don't need to say it.

I might pick Jimi Hendrix. Okay, why? Well, at least you'd get to have a conversation with him. Even though he's dead, they could bring him back. I wouldn't particularly like to get naked with him, but if I could spend an hour with him chatting while we slowly undress. I don't know, man. It would be worth it just to talk to him and say, you know,

how do you, you know, that thing you do in Purple Haze, what is that course? Would you look down at his bits if he took them out? Apparently you wouldn't have to look down too much. Yeah, ten inch wing, didn't he? Jimmy was quite... He was packing, was he? Apparently. It's a proven fact because that group that takes casts of your wieners... They didn't cast the guy's wiener, did they?

There was a group in the 60s called the plaster casters, and they used to get plaster casts of all the rock stars' wieners. They went to do Jimi Hendrix. The urn wasn't big enough. He hit the bottom, and they couldn't get it off. He was touching the bottom. Wow. And it was a big urn, apparently, like the size of that, that height.

Flaccid or erect? I don't know. I wasn't there. Flaccid or erect. I don't know. I wasn't there. But I know the urn, Jimmy's wiener would not fit in the urn. Wow, you know a lot about wieners.

I know a lot about Jimmy Hendrix. And his wiener. Wow. He lot about wieners. I know a lot about Jimi Hendrix. And his wiener. Wow. He has some wiener. Did it have a bend to it? No, Huey Lewis does, though. He's got a bend. Huey Lewis has got the biggest wiener in rock, apparently.

It's a known fact. Wow. Yeah, I thought I saw something poking out of one of his jeans. You weren't looking, were you? No, but there was something bulging on his pant leg. Something poking out of his jeans. One of the videos. So you're watching videos of him, and you're just trying to check out to see if he's got the best.

I didn't know that. I read it in a book. Pamela DeBart, the famous groupie, I believe she said, Huey Lewis, biggest wiener in rock. She banged him. I think so. She banged a lot of people. Wow.

So this fucking woman's suing Velveeta. Look, can you just do this? Can you just sue companies over it? Yes. She said that On The Box is ready in three and a half minutes, and that's just one step. So it's not ready in three and a half minutes. It's three and a half minutes in the microwave,

but it takes longer than that to make the fucking thing. Well, let's fucking sue Minute Rice then, because that takes a little bit longer than a minute. If you're talking prep time... That's a good point. Take out the fucking pot, fill it up with water, you're looking at a minute. You don't boil it for a minute anyway.

It's more than three minutes, isn't it? Well, let's fucking take down minute rice. Fuck, let's do it. Imagine if we were responsible for them to change their packaging. To minutes. We'd be famous. Minutes rice. Minutes.

Fifteen minute rice. Wow. What other ones could we come out? Okay, there's minute rice. What about Orville? Orville Redenbacher. What the fuck does he have going on? Orville's Fallen Cocker.

Is it? No, it's Redenbacher. What about In-N-Out Burger? You're not In-N-Out when you're stuck in a fucking drive-thru lineup for an hour. She's suing him for $5 million. That's pretty good payday. $5 million fucking dollars. Just because her instructions are fucked?

I don't know. If I was that cunt, I was that cunning be like fuck off ready in three and a half minutes she's probably gonna win too well that guy sued pepsi remember for the area jet for the what what you don't remember that the area yeah in the Yeah, in the 90s. Pepsi had an ad on TV, right? And it said you get under the cap, you get Pepsi points. And, you know, 100 points, you get a fucking Pepsi hat. 100 points, yeah, yeah. 150 points, you get some sunglasses. At the end of the commercial, a Harrier jet lands, and it says Harrier jet, 7 million points.

But there was no disclaimer that said this is not real. And a fucking guy said, okay, fuck you. And he started collecting, and he realized he couldn't drink enough Pepsi to get 7 million points. He would have had to drink like 20,000 12-packs or something. But he started looking through the rules, points. He would have had to drink like 20,000 12-packs or something. But he started looking through the rules and you could buy points

for 10 cents a point. Anyway, he figured it out. Get a $32 million Harrier jet for 700 grand. Fuck. So did he do this? He raised the money. No. He knew a rich guy. A rich guy wrote a check for 700 grand and said, here, give us our fucking Harrier jet.

No. Pepsi said, suck our fucking cocks. I never heard about this shit, but that's a fucking awesome. Did they get the jet? They fucking battled them for years, and then eventually they didn't get it. Oh, because that fucking lawyer, what's his name? He got involved. Who's the guy that was going after Donald Trump

and now he's in jail? Mike Ockren. No, he was extorting Nike. Oh, that fucking guy. Michael Avenatti. He became the lawyer for the kid and then he was fucking pissing off the guy that had the money.

I watched the whole documentary on it. It's on Netflix. I gotta watch that, man. I gotta watch that, man. It's cool. It's a documentary called Pepsi, Where's My Fucking Jet?

Or maybe it's just Where's My Jet? Wow. But he almost had himself a fucking Harrier jet for 700 grand. That's a fucking good deal.

It'd be funny to take one of those back and forth to work. Oh, yeah, you could. Can't they just take off and land vertically? They can. That's cool, man. Vectored thrusting, vertical takeoff.

That's really cool. I could fly one, too. If there was one here, I'd show you. Very, you know, difficult, but doable. This is cool. Over in India, they had, like, 700 kilos of marijuana seized at these police stations. And the fucking rats ate every bit of it. Those lucky motherfuckers.

How much? 700 kilos in three different police stations. Of weed? Yep. I didn't know they liked it that much. So the people were going to court and the judge was like, well, show me the evidence. And they're like, well, we can't. Fucking rats ate it.

So people got off. So next time I get arrested, send some rats to the police station, please. Well, I'm just thinking New York City. We're going with the bag. Oh, yeah. Go down in the sewers. Maybe we found the fucking missing link. Throw some camouflage on. Poison weed. No, wait.

Instead of killing the rats, if you captured the rats and then sold them to the cartels. Babs, we don't want to deal with the cartels. You get a bunch of rats eating a big fucking bale of weed. You zap them. You fucking torch the shit out of little cocksuckers. You get a buzz on as well. Because the weed goes on fire.

But then you're inhaling rat at least you're dying stones exactly would you breathe in rat fumes he would if i was getting high see i would you would smoke a rat he goes down the sewers i go i take look out upstairs just outside i burn them when they come out that's i'm telling you, boys. It may not be the perfect plant, but... It's a start. It's got some holes in it. I could poke a few holes in that plant. Warrant on December the 1st.

Ludwig van Beethoven. Ah, great. Ludwig van Beethoven. Oh, yeah, that's his name, isn't it? Perhaps. Oh, man. Perhaps. That was the greatest composer of all time.

You were way off there, man. Beethoven. Yosemite Sam. Yosemite. Yosemite Sam. Oh. Yeah, he's a cartoon character. He's got a big wiener, too.

Really? Oh, no, it's his beard. I'm thinking of. He's got that big beard. He's got a big beard and mustache. I was? Oh no, it's his beard. I'm thinking of. He's got that big beard. He's got a big beard and mustache. I was thinking he had a big hammer on him. He might. Benny Anderson?

Oh, he's from ABBA. Benny, yeah. Swedish pop composer? The musician from ABBA? I don't think his name is Benny, but... It doesn't sound very Swedish. It's probably Benai or something. Billy Gibbons.

There we go. Billy Gibbons. There we go. Billy G. Can fucking crank some ZZ Top later when we're having some drinks. Happy birthday to Billy. We know Billy Gibbons. Yeah, man. He's a good dude.

William the Refrigerator Perry. He was a fucking big... 6'2", 335 pounds. 335. That's a big boy. Who was it? Played for the Bears, didn't he? The fridge. The fridge?

Yeah, man. He was a big motherfucker. I don't think he was in great shape, though, was he? No, he wasn't. Just large. He was just a big, big fella. Andre the Giant was bigger. Benjamin Bratt?

Benjamin Button? No. I don't know what birthday he'd be having. He's a long order. He's aging backwards. Fucking Donovan Bailey. Nice. Fast-running motherfucker?

Canadian fastest fuck person? He's fast. He was. Canadian fastest fuck. Donovan Bailey. What was the other guy? You mean the disgrace to our country? Yeah.

Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson. Us. Yeah, I liked him. I don't think he was a disgrace, was he? No. You go back to the day when we thought he had a fucking world record. Yeah, that was a fucking asshole.

Oh, right. You fucking druggie. Jesus Christ. Listen to you calling him a druggie. I'm not fucking competing in the Olympics. If I was, I'd be clean. I don't think he was the only one doing it. No, I agree.

He got it. He should have fucking covered his tracks a little bit better. He was goddamn fast, though, wasn't he? You gave me an idea for a new movie instead of The Fast and the Furious. The Fast and the Fucked. What is that?

I don't know, but it's good. Could be Bill Penn Johnson. All right, well, let's go listen to ZZ Top. Let's do it. Get drunk. I am getting drunk tonight. It's almost Christmas. Should we say anything about Christmas,

or is it too soon? Nah, too soon. It's what? Fucking nine days away That's close Is it I think so Holy fuck I haven't checked the calendar in weeks

Alright Let's sign off Until maybe next time So next week Is it our Christmas It's a fucking Christmas Christmas tariff after that Stravaganza

Oh my god Alright Let's take a bunch of edibles, get a bunch of these drinks in us, go to the supermarket, and get rid of that fucking shit that's on the... that's killing people's cogs.

Let's do it. And then we can get some prescription poop. Man, sounds like a day. To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to swearnet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys Swearnet app.