Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 31 - A Very Donair Christmas

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

Ricky, Julian and Bubbles are full of the Christmas spirit! Find out what gifts the Boys bought each other this year, and their special treat fit for a f**kin' King. Also: One more week before 2020 f**ks off!

Okay boys, come on! Just a second, I'm putting another bulb on the old tree, Babs. I know, but it's present time! Look, they got the cameras going, I've been waiting. All right, well... Welcome to Perk After Dark, everybody! It's after dark and it's fucking present time! Christmas! Ricky! I'm fucked, bubs.

I'm not doing anything until Ricky does something. Ricky! I've got the Christmas spirit, by the way, bubs. I haven't slept yet, man. Well, I haven't really slept much either, buds. Get the fuck up. Come on, Ricky! I worked my arse off to get these presents and I'm excited. This is one of the biggest presents years

we've had in a long time because the bubbler worked his ass off. You know how you were teaching me about fucking collecting cans and bottles, Ricky? Yeah. Well, guess what? I made extra cash and I spent it all on you guys. You didn't have to do that, Pops.

Well, that's what I do. What do you think of the tree, man? I added some more bulbs and shit. I don't know. It's looking good. It's looking a little bit better, I think. It looks great. Come on, boys.

I'm dying. All right. I got you guys something as well, so. Oh, fuck. You know, it's going to be a good Christmas, boys. Come on, alright. I got you guys something as well, so... Oh, fuck. You know, it's gonna be a good Christmas, boys. Come on, Ricky. Let's get this going. It's Christmas. Fuck's sakes. Ricky does not have the spirit. He's just hungover, Pops.

I know, but I'm hungover too. Well, I... I'm hungover, but I let my adrenaline overwork the liquor. Rick, we've got like another six, seven days straight of partying, so you've got to pace yourself, man. Come on, Ricky. You look good, though. Jesus, bud. I'm not 100% today, guys. It's all right. You don't have to be. Just mix up a drink or something.

You need a Christmas... Here, that's your present, Ricky. No, no. No no wake up. Come on wake up. Do you want to go first? Yup. Ricky, FR bubbles. From Ricky, that means from. You just have to save two letters. That is kinda fucked that you just put FR, man. What? Just go for the whole thing. Okay, it says Merry Christmas, it's a picture of Santa, matches my shirt. Right on.

Good thumbs up, man. Ricky, hope Santa brings you all of your favourite things. Love, Bubbles. That's me! Right on. That's you, Bubbs. Thanks for the card. You're welcome. That goes on the tree. Don't rip that up. Okay.

That goes on the tree. Filter material later. Now the present. Now the main event. Very excited. Boys, my bird's doing, you know. Doing that. Pointing to the baby Jesus.

Why do you get a bird when you give people fucking Christmas gifts? It's not that. That's what you're saying. You're basically saying you're a wreck. No, it's just, you know, saying. Come on, Ricky. You don't got to get every fucking piece of wrapping off. Fuck, he's so slow.

He's like a fucking driver in the left lane. You know what I mean? Yes. It's too slow. Open that motherfucker up, bud. Well, he's got to take off every piece of thing and crinkle it up. I...

Because it gets everywhere. When I... When's the first time ever being concerned about being fucking neat? I know, Ricky Jesus, you fucking... Christmas time? Shit in the bathtub if you had to, and now you're fucking cleaning up your...

All right, let's see what we have over here. Wow. Oh no, Buffs, this is a load of shit. Yes! What? Cigarette layers? Oh yeah. Ricky, check those out.

These are fucking awesome. Try them on. I see why you gave me the lighter. You gonna melt this thing off. No, Ricky, that's not here. Look, I just do that. Try them on. I think they're your color.

Yes, look at these. You didn't have any black ones, Bubz, or what? Look how cool he is, though. Looks like a surfer guy. I feel like I'm 10 years younger. You look 10 years younger. You look fucking Spicoli, man. Sheila Roberts.

I didn't know she wrote a book. What? Two Kisses for Christmas. Thank you, Bubbles. It's a Christmas book. I've read it. It's great. Oh, wait. Two novels in one. It's a Christmas book. I've read it. It's great. Oh wait, two novels in one.

Yes. The Snow Globe. That's a murder mystery. The Nine Lives of Christmas. That's a... Story about a cat. It's a cat, yes. Well, let's see what it is.

It's a fucking book. Firefighter. I read the whole thing cover to cover. Firefighter Zack is in serious need of help when it comes to finding the right woman. Sweet Marilee, who works in a pet shop, is perfect for him, but is too shy to let him know she's interested. Maybe a matchmaking cat on his ninth life is just what they need

to help them find their happily ever after. It's a wonderful story. Wonderful story. Wonderful story. That's making cat. Yes, he comes in. I don't want to give it away, but it's pretty good. And then if that doesn't get your attention, the snow globe.

This one's a, listen to this. Kylie is tired of standing solo under the mistletoe. Yup. All she wants this Christmas is someone to spend her nights with, cozy by the fire. With one hopeful shake of an antique snow globe, Kylie begins a dazzling adventure. And discovers that sometimes the impossible becomes possible

and miracles really do come true. Yeah, I thought that was, that's not the murder mystery. That's like fucking. I read a murder mystery, though, where he gets his head smashed in with a snow globe at Christmas. You know what? I guarantee you he's not going to read that fucking book. He might. Ten bucks right now, he's not. He might.

Sheila Roberts makes me laugh. I read her books and come away inspired, hopeful, and happy. Debbie McComber. Who the fuck says that? You don't got to read the whole thing, Ricky thing Ricky dig in that's not even your main gift fucking break his neck no he's not he's gonna seriously he's gonna be beat the man there's no fucking slippers slippers Ricky he's going down man man. Man. Pizza slippers. Got them at the Walmart store. Hi, man.

I'm a very happy fellow. Pizza slippers, Julian. Nice, they're really cool. Think about it. Yeah. Late at night. If he hurts himself, we can probably sue Walmart, which is awesome.

Having a little craving for some pizza. Well, no, you can't, I reckon. And last but not least, a Santa hat with bottle cap opener. No way! Yes! Oh, man, you thought of everything. I did, Ricky.

I did all the gifts. Nice work, pups. Oh, yeah. It's a double extra large, too too for your big fucking head. Good. Double extra large. See that? Look at that. Okay that's pretty cool. Clink! People don't know Ricky's got one of the biggest heads on planet earth. His fucking head's like... It's still not... Ricky it's a double XL. It's almost on there. Oh yeah, it's on enough. It's got a bottle opener in the front. I need a beer.

Yeah, I didn't get you any beer. Oh, we have us cans, I think, so. We've got cans. How does this all come into? Here, you just. Lighter, use the lighter. No, here, I'll get them. Press like that.

Oh yeah. Throw those motherfuckers on, man. Yeah, put on your pizza slippers, Ricky. Take off that. Well, don't put them on the table. Jesus, man, they stink. Oh, Ricky, those are- What the fuck did you put, like-

Were you chomping around in the sewer? Were you chomping around in the sewer? Don't sweat, sweaty Jesus, man. Try them on. They fit? No, they're too small. Oh, for fuck's sake. But they're close.

I can modify them. We'll cut the crust off. You should try to squeeze them on, man. I did squeeze them. They're good. We'll cut the crusts off them. William Seward, Walmart, guarantee you, man. Get it?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Ricky. Pizza man. Pizza man. Get it? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, Ricky. Pizza man. Pizza man. Thanks, man. Throw one up there, man. Best Christmas ever. You're still drunk, Ricky. Ricky. Yeah. See that? Anybody want a slice of my feet? Fucking great, man. Yes, sir. One of the best presents ever. Okay, Julian. My turn? Your turn. Bob's man, you didn't have to, Pat. Christmas is the time. To Julian.

Ever, Bob's. That's it, man. Season's greetings. Did I forget to write a note on it? I was drunk when I was doing it. Two Julian Frumbobs, look. I was drunk. Thanks, man. What is this?

See, that's what you'd give someone. You'd give your boss. I was drunk and I forgot. I like to do them after I get it wrapped and I must have passed out. That's fine. I'm liking the cards a bit, you know. See what mine says? It doesn't say Frum. It says Love. Love. Bubbles. And yours is like from bubs. Not even your full fucking name.

Well, oh yeah, zing it over there, why don't you, Chris, it's serious. Well, next year you'll do better. Bah, fucking humbag. Don't fucking bother me. Just rip it open, you're gonna be excited as fuck here in about four seconds. Just a second.

Why is there a line on our bags? What bags? Your ball bag. Why is there a line on our bags? What bags? Your ball bag. Why is there a line? On your scrote? Yeah. What's your, uh, what's it called? That's where they, you know, the scene.

Where they sealed her up, pressed it shut like a, like a gyoza. Who the fuck is doing lap buffs? That's where they pinched her shot. What's it called? Your Rafe, I think. Your what? Your Rafe, isn't it? Your Rafe? Rafe.

That's the, you know how you got that seam up the middle of your scrote? Bleeds called your scrotal Rafe. Scrotal Rafe. Well, when I was reading medical textbooks. But do you ever stare at it and go, why? Why are you there? No, I've never. How do you stare at it?

What position are you in? What are you doing when you can see the undercarriage and you're not Zach? You got a little hand mirror and you're... Do you do that? No, I've stopped listening to you guys. I'm opening a present here. Oh, yeah.

You guys are talking about a ball. But you guys do have a line, too, right? Everybody has a fucking line on their back. Why, though? Not everybody. Who doesn't? The Grinch. Smooth.

He's got one smooth sack on him. Anyway, moving on to the gifts. Thank you. CSA. Only got one ball. Approved. Anyway, moving on to the gifts. Thank you. CSA. Only a one ball. Approved. What? What the fuck that is?

Hey. See, those are more your speed. Right on, buddy. Those are more your speed. Okay, all right. Oh, what the fuck is this? Oh, that looks fancy, man. Bob's.

What the fuck? You're not trying to get me to fucking wear button-up shirts, man. Let me see. Come on, Julian. You don't want to wear button-up shirts, man. Let me see. Come on, Julian. Don't fucking wear golf shirts, bud. But it's black and it's super tight. Look at that. Look how tight it's going to be.

When would I wear this? It's Ralph Lauren, isn't it? Seriously, where's the tag? It's got a little symbol on it. Did you save the receipt? No, I didn't save the receipt. Pull it on. Pull it over your head.

I'm not going to fucking put that on. It's Ralph Lauren, isn't it? It is. No, it says eyes on. receipt. Pull it on. Pull it over your head. I'm not gonna fucking put that on. It's Ralph Lauren, isn't it? It is. No, it says Izod. What the fuck is that? Oh, man, that's fancy. Izod. Fancy! I'm trying to make you look fancy. Aren't they the crocodile guys? Izod, yes. The alligator.

Alligator. Izod. That's not a fucking eye. That's not a crocodile. That's the company's logo. That's it. What the fuck is that? Let me see it. It's an I and a crocodile. That's not a crocodile. That's the company's logo. That's it. What the fuck is that? Let me see it. It's an I and a Z. Oh, maybe I got this one off the cheap rack.

Yeah, no, it's eyes odd. I like it. Look, like that's gonna fit right on you. Look good on you. Here, hold it up to you. Look at that. Nice. What am I, going golfing?

No, over here. Fuck. You bought it a size too small like you like. No, it's not. This is... It's still tough looking. It's just more presentable. It's not tough looking, man. All right.

We'll talk about that later. Well, someone doesn't like their gifts. Yeah. All right. Okay, here we go. Canadian business franchise 2021 directory. That's what I'm talking about. Aw. This is what dreams are made of. Canadian business franchise 2021 directory. That's what I'm talking about. This is what dreams are made of.

It all goes together. Think about it. Okay. The shirt is so that when you read this, you can go into business meetings. All right. A lot of franchise opportunities. Maybe we'll make some money this year.

Well, that was the whole point of the gift. You should have waited to open the whole thing before you started ripping it. Let's go back to bed. Michael Connelly. A Lincoln lawyer novel. It's the Law of Innocence. Lincoln lawyer? What the fuck?

What was that? Why did that get me? Lincoln lawyer? What the fuck? Who cares? Isn was that? Why did that get you? Lincoln Lawyer? What the fuck? I think I watched that, didn't I? What? Isn't that handsome guy? What handsome guy? The Lincoln Lawyer.

Matthew McCarney! Yes, he was the Lincoln Lawyer. I thought you might enjoy a nice buck with your new shirt on. Some people say that books are better than the movies. Keep digging, there's more in there. It's going to make sense. Did you save the receipt for this? I have receipts. Have you ever read a book

of a movie? I have. Are they better or worse? It depends. Holy fuck, Bob. Is that a ball shaver? That is fucked. It's a glass dumbbellver? That is fucked. Yeah. It's a glass dumbbell beer stein.

Yes. Oh, that is awesome. It's kind of different. Get her open. This is CI. Put thought into my guess. It's good, man. It's packed in styrofoam. Yes, because it's glass.

You can work out. It's made with real glass. It's not glass, it's plastic. It's made with real glass It's not glasses No It is class can't work. Oh, no Ricky. It's a drink glass. No, but then look it looks like he's doing curls, right? All right, it'll be my drink. It'll be my glass I'll use here, but I can't see me rocking around like who you drink in it right now. I want to see it. Come on, here. Did you what? No, it smelled that.

It smells like fucking rubber or something. No, it's clean. I cleaned it. Did you bang this thing with a Jimmy hat on? I want to see you pour it in. Just pour it in. I want to see you take a drink out of your muscle glass. Don't ruin Christmas, Julian.

Don't ruin Christmas. There you go. Now watch this. Oh, there's a fucking thing in there. What? Those bead things, man. Oh, that was a fucking thing. Well, just drink around it.

Those things are fucking poisonous. But drink around it? Oh, it's the whole. Oh. It's the fucking silica fucking whatever they're. Silicon beads. Well, we're going to have to mix you a new drink. Thanks, man.

Pour it back in your glass. I'll get you more liquor. I'll get you another drink. Just a second here. You're not going to get poisoned by it. Oh, fuck. Look at the size of you. Nothing that big.

Throw away do not eat right on it. Yeah, that doesn't say don't soak your drink like a tea bag with it All right, that was it. Thanks man. Okay All right, should I open one from you Ricky? I know oh Boy, it's not what I'm playing on getting exact didn't get here yet, but it's you know I was planning on getting it because I didn't get here yet. But it's, you know. Don't shake it.

You could break it. Okay, here we go. 2020, Christmas 2020. Oh, Ricky. Yep. Decent. Fuck yeah. Look at those.

Those are for fucking taking over winter. Waterproof sole! Yep. Holy fuck, will I ever be able to fucking haul some carts with those dirty bastards on. Rated to 99 miles an hour. Smell the...you can smell the amount of petroleum used in making them. Those are... Those came in on a... No more cold toes for my friend Bubbles.

Impermeable! Just like you! Fuck man. Oh yeah, they're strong. Look what they're rated for! 40 degrees Celsius minus 40. Oh yeah. Holy fuck, I could go to the Arctic with these on. You could hang out with the polar bears. They're just not, you know, they're all right. 3M Thinsulate. That's the expensive stuff. I wouldn't wear those on a date or anything, Bob. 3M. I hope they fit because you can't take them back.

Well, you can, but you'd have trouble explaining how you got them. You stole them, Ricky? No. They're fucking stolen. No. You know what? I don't care where they came from. They're mine now. They're awesome, aren't they? They're fucking stolen. No, Jesus. You know what? I don't care where they came from. They're mine now.

They're awesome, aren't they? They're pretty long. They're longer than my feet, but I'll just put extra socks on. Those are the kind of boots you wear around town and the ladies notice. The ladies will know, man. Do not wear these downtown. What kind of socks are these, Ricky? Will you ever go to a bar again?

These are not on your feet. Oh, I'll wear these downtown. No problem. Oh oh i love the velcro too they thought everything women look at that that's for quick access what size are oh they're a nine yeah they're annoying they're gonna fit they're a nine they look like it's 13. i know but that's just the 3m all the layers makes them longer. Jesus, fuck, Bubz. Your feet are gonna look gigantic, man. You're gonna look weird.

No, I'm not. Those are gonna be... Here, I'm gonna put them on. I can try them on right now. Fuck it. I like that you're excited, man. I wasn't sure if you were gonna like them. Oh, I reckon these feel like moon boots. These feel like the boots I had.

It would be good getting Kurtz. Look at this oh I'm having trouble getting them on. Oh let me just undo the velcro. That's right. There we go now they're open right up. Wide open. I mean it's no Sheila Roberts book but it's it's something. Yeah. Yeah but Ricky I didn't steal your gifts. Oh, yes. Oh, they're still tied together. Run, Bubs, run. Whoa! Jesus. Fuck, man.

Love it, I feel like a mountaineer. Fuck. Those are aggressive, man. They're better than I even dreamed they would be. They look massive. Bring on a blizzard, huh? Cartoon character. I can't wait for it to snow now.

Thanks, Ricky. Am I doing this now? Yeah, you have. That's up to you, man. To Julian from Ricky. Yeah. FR. Yeah.

By the way, Mussel, M-U-S-S-E-L, man kit. And then he drew a picture of some dude with- I know some of what this is. Are you kidding? This is, all right, this, do I really want to- Ricky came to me and he said, what can I get Julian? And the only guidance I gave him, I said,

get him something that you know he likes. So then he went and he built this- 2021, bud, is the year you become gigantic. that you know he likes. So then he went and he built this. 2021, bud, is the year you become gigantic. What the fuck? Yeah, I'm going to actually try to be healthier the year coming up. Well, I think you're going to be pretty impressed with the contents of this pack. You got the duct tape going, eh? It's probably easier to just...

Whoa. Oh, yeah. See that? That's for, yeah. See that? That's for health. What is that? It's a fucking pineapple. Okay, good. Just making sure you fucking knew that.

Did you know how good pineapple is for you? It's a really good pineapple. And it's a real one. It's not like a liquor pineapple. I thought it was a screw top, you know, to hide your liquor in, but it's a real pineapple. Yeah, okay. I'll fuck that over. Apparently, you know, to hide your liquor in, but it's a real pineapple. Yeah, okay. I'll fuck that over.

Apparently, if you eat that, it goes right to your chest. And there's rumors that pineapple flavors different things in the body as well. Like what? Which is nice. Ricky, don't get into that. Like a piss? No. What does it flavor?

Something else from that region. Yeah. Yeah. Load. Just talk to Peter North. Peter North will explain it to you. Oh, yeah, green pepper, huh? Yep. Also very healthy.

Ricky, I didn't know you were adding vegetables to it. Oh, yeah. Nitro-Tech protein, huh? Yes. Also known as musclein, huh? Yes. Also known as Muscle Explosion. Wow, man. 30 grams of protein. Good going, Rick.

Some creatine in there. It's a small one though, right? There's bigger ones out there. He'll eat that in one meal. Oh really? That's like a two week supply. I thought that would last you for a year. No, man.

He'll put that in one drink. That's very nice, man. It's expensive. I can't wait to see it on you. What? You can't see that on me. Yeah, it'll bring you more mass. You'll be walking in like... That's weird.

Don't... I can't even fit around the table anymore, boys. Oh, yeah. Eggs? Bodybuilder's got to eat raw eggs, bud. Stop being a pussy. Don't even eat eggs, man. We watched fucking Jack Tripper.

We watched Three's Company and Jack Tripper was doing it. Alright, I'll try to get those down. Raw eggs and they're free range. You're not supposed to eat raw eggs anymore. They're free range. They're not chemical eggs. Okay, I'll fuck those over. Jesus. In case you're craving coleslaw. Not chemical air. Okay, I'll fuck those over. Jesus.

In case you're craving coleslaw. Oh. You make a nice salad. You make a fucking lettuce, pineapple, green pepper salad. There's supposed to be a lot of iron in cabbage. Tofu? Yes, protein, pure. That's the shit you got to start eating, man.

Yes, that's the shit you got to eat instead of fucking's the shit you gotta eat instead of fucking meat i don't i'm not eating tofu man trust me you'll like it there's no way this is going down put it in a sauce and whammo put it in a sauce there's more protein in that than steak man someone's got to look after your muscles because you're not well thanks for you know looking over my muscles but right i can't i't. I don't think I can do the tofu. Maybe... It's just like eating a sponge. Yep. Except eat it then. Eat some.

I'll eat it. Go for it. I'm not going to eat it. You can, yes. Medium firm. All right. See? You eat this medium firm and it makes you extra firm. It's fucking disgusting disgusting though, man. Okay, boys, so...

How do you know? You never tried it, man. Oh, just wait. I got my alert. Uh-oh. Yes, sir! So, boys... Santa coming? No, not Santa, Ricky, but you're gonna be just as excited. Just got the alert. She's here. What's here? I spent the extra money I

made, okay, on hauling cans and fucking all that shit you were teasing me about. Mm-hmm. What the fuck is... Answer the door, Ricky. Get ready to get a boner. Stripper? No, better. Better than a stripper. Forgot about the pizza shoes. Say goodbye to the hangover, Ricky. Holy fucking Jesus, are you shitting in my mouth right now? What is it? Oh, you late, Julian.

This is gonna be your holy. What is it? Oh, you late, Julian. This is gonna be your... What the fuck is this, man? This is Julian's last hurrah before he gets on his muscle food. All right, okay, this is probably a good idea, man. Holy fuck. This is your last hurrah before you start drilling the muscle food in me. Holy fucking pops. I know.

This is insane, man. There's more. This is heavy as fuck. I know, Ricky. I ordered all of it. I spent every fucking... Fucking King of Donair? Yes, sir.

And you know what? Best Christmas ever. And whatever we don't eat, you can put it in the fridge, Ricky. Holy shit. Fucking Donair. Look, Donairs galore, boys. Those are all Donairs. These are all fucking Donairs. Look at this

Big dirty king of down there fucking donors Pizza's garlic fingers fucking Oh more doing fuck of those. These are donair egg rolls I believe I Ordered boys. I'm just telling you, this is... This is just fucked. What are these? Are these donair egg rolls? Fuck, bubs. There's enough food here for the whole park.

Wow, it's... Donair plate. Donair, yes, like a donair poutine. I got you guys something as well, if you guys want it, you know. Well, yes. You got me a present? Well, it's for you, Ed. It's me a present? Well, it's for you. It's like a combo. You guys can both use it.

Holy fuck. Look at the sauce, man. Oh, fuck. Give me a sauce. Is that our present? That's the present. Merry Christmas, boys. It's already cracked.

Open bottle of liquor mints. It's open. Yeah, because we're probably all going to drink it together, so I had a couple, you know, just until now. So you gave me and Ricky a bottle of your favorite liquor and you already drank some of it? I drank- we're all gonna drink it together. The whole Christmas present is a buzz on. Good times for all of us. You know what I mean? Well, it's kinda. You bought it for yourself, kinda, I would say, but-

Well, no, you're gonna have some too, aren't you? Jesus Christ, folks. Here, use that. This is like the never-ending feast. Use my cup. Is the thing still in it? Uh, I would say. Well, you're gonna have some too, aren't you? Jesus Christ, this is like the never-ending feast. Use my cup. Is the thing still in it? I took it out. Here, I'll drink to that.

Get her in you, buddy. Alright, what the fuck, you got down air pizza too? I got everything. Everything they make with the down air variety. There's only three of us, remember? No, but I figured you'd save it, Ricky. Holy fuck, we got enough food until 2022. You could put it in your...

It's New Year's, we probably do. You could put it in your freezer. I can barely see you guys. Look, you know how you love donair sauce? That is fucking incredible, man. I told you this was going to be the best Christmas ever. I thought you were lying. Yeah, this looks...

Bubs, thanks, man. What is that? It's the best thing ever. It's a donair. What's this guy? That's a donair poutine. Shut my ass. Well shut it, buddy.

Oh yeah, that's some good donair sauce right there. Look at this. King of fucking donair. This is fucking great, bud. I'm starving. There's donair egg rolls too. Have you ever had one of those, Ricky? Holy fuck, it's like...

This, I don't even know where to start. Go in there, man. Just dig in. Fuck. It's just all so wonderful. Look at this, holy fuck. Oh, garlic fingers? No way.

Give me a finger. Hey look, you can be a healthcare worker if you tear out that little section. What section? This little guy here, look. You tear him out, and then all of a sudden you're a doctor. Oh, that's cool. Delicious.

Fuck, man. You really went above and board. Yeah. I told you. I'm not fucking around this year. Last recent picked food? 2020. I hauled a lot of fucking cans and bottles to pay for this, boys.

Got a little pepperoni guy here. Hey, little guy. Hey, there's me. Oh, it is you. What the fuck is going on here? What the fuck is that, huh? It's Julian. What the fuck?

Did you do a deal with King of Donair and not tell us? It's been going on for a little while, believe me. There hasn't been much money coming in yet, but there will be maybe. So you did a deal with King of Donair. Is that why I got a deal on this? They should definitely give this to you for free. How do you get that?

I can't get that one open. Boys, check that out. Hey, it's you, except lots of mauler. Fucked up, huh? How do you get the... I can't get that one open. Boys, check that out. Hey, it's you, except lots of water. Fucked up, huh? It is. Here. Holy fuck, look at this delicious son of a whore.

I know, right? God damn it. How do you get the fucking cap out of the thing? You don't. Just fucking dump it of the thing? You don't. Shut up, Bubz. Just fucking dump it out the other way, Bubz. That's fucked up. I can't get it.

That's a good fucking donair. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's fucked up, isn't it? So why don't you tell people that are watching this who don't know what donairs are, tell them what a donair is, Ricky. It's this type of meat. It's almost like a meatloaf, it's a bit spicy.

And it pretty much makes you have an orgasm when you eat it. It doesn't really do that, man. It doesn't do that, Ricky. It's the best fucking food to eat when you're drunk. Yeah. Out of dough. It's kind of like, some people call it a gyro, I guess, but... It's the best fucking fucking sauce.

It's not like a gyro. It's nothing like a fucking gyro. It's garlic fucking sauce. It's not like a gyro. It's nothing like a gyro. Look at that big dirty bastard. Fuck me. And if we had smell-o-vision right now, people would know what, you know. Smell-o-vision? If you had smell-o-vision because...

Fuck that. Like if you could smell the donairs. Best Christmas ever. Thanks, bubs. Thanks, bubs. Thanks, bud. This is nice, man. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

Best Christmas ever, right? This might be. My hungover is almost gone. Well, it will be after we fucking plow through this stuff. I'm getting on the breeze hard tonight, by the way. Did you hear about the, uh... Uh... Look at this.

Three reps. There's a snow leopard at Louisville Zoo got coronavirus, huh? Whole fucking shit. Poor fucker. Who did? Snow leopard. He got corona? Yeah. Poor fucker. Who did? Snow Leopard. He got Corona? Yup.

Oh, poor leopard. There was a fucking... One Apis, I think it's called, this container ship, lost 1,800 containers in the Pacific last week or the week before. Who lost containers? Container ship. 1,800 containers in the Pacific last week and the week before. You lost containers? Containers?

18 fucking hundred containers. We should go try to find them. Bob's napkin? What? Oh, fuck. I've been using this as a napkin, man. That's your fucking shirt! Well, it's got sausage shit on it now, here.

Need it? You used it as a napkin. You did that on purpose! No, I didn't. You think we could find the containers? Don't think I'm not washing that and making you wear it. Where are the containers? Where do the fucking things fall off the boat? Pacific Ocean. 18 fucking hundred.

What ocean? Pacific? That seems like a lot of containers to lose, doesn't it? And 64 of them contain dangerous goods. Mm. Right on. Well, do you want to know whose birthday it is on Christmas Day? Grumpy Bumpy.

Which would suck. Grumpy Bumpy. Humphrey Bogart. Who? Humphrey Bogart got born on Christmas Day, 1899. He's dead, eh? Humphrey Bogart got born on Christmas Day, 1899. He's dead, eh? Humphrey Bogart wasn't born in 1899.

Yep. Frankly, I don't give a fuck, my dear. It was not him. That wasn't quite his words, right? Something like that. I'm impressed. He got that. 1948, Barbara Mandrell.

Do we know her? Yeah, 2020. What? She does that show, 2020. Barbara Mandrell. What? No, that's Barbara Walters. Yeah, man.

I think Barbara Mandrell was like a country person. Country singer. Country singer. Yeah, she was. I'm all fucked up from the donairs. 1949, Sissy Spacek. Yeah. Good fucking actor.

She is. Carrie, man. 1954, Joaquin El Chapo Guzman. Chapo? El Chapo, born on Christmas Day. 1971, Dido, Christmas Day. Really? Didn't you have that cool Eminem in them song?

Yes. How'd it go? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Yeah, that one. Don't know it. The guy who almost got born on Christmas Day, 1971. The fucking... What's he called? Not the president.

Prime Minister. Which one? Justin Trudeau. He was born on Christmas Day. Yep. Wow. I can't fucking wait for this year to be over. Well, it almost is, Ricky.

One more week. 2021 is going to be the best. Just like that Phil Collins song. What? One more week. One more Phil Collins song. What? One More Week. One More Night, Ricky. Hmm? Phil Collins doesn't have a song called One More Week.

Sing my bit. Sure. One more night. Give me just one more night. Oh yeah, it is One More Night. Okay, boys. That was good, man. I think it's time to fucking... Cheers, bubs, for fucking making this. Okay, boys. That was good, man. I think it's time to fucking start drinking.

Cheers, bubs, for fucking making this Christmas special, man. Everybody needs a special Christmas this year because 2020 was fucked. So cheers to you, bud. Cheers, guys. Cheers to you for not doing much. Yeah, no, what do you mean not doing much? Fucking half empty bottle of fucking liquor mints.

Half? You call that half? I can tell it's topped up with water. It does taste a little weak. All right, well, must be a bad bottle then. Maybe you'll come through next year. Maybe nothing. Whatever.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas, guys.