Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 32 - Everyone's a Winner, Baby

Episode Date: November 11, 2019

The price is f**king right as Ricky and Julian go head-to-head in Bubbles' trivia challenge! Discover how many bras are made every day, how to bang a starfish, and why you shouldn't go on an acid trip at Disneyland. Also: Ricky gets an anatomy lesson!

What song is that man? Welcome to the park after dark. That's what it is. That's the new song. You've been fucking humming it all morning. Did you make that up? No, it's a song. I just don't know what it is.

It's the Perk After Dark song, man. You gotta try to remember it. That's the hard part. That's hard. Still awake. You guys fucking fell asleep for a little bit. I did not. I can't. I did not.

I can't. I'm done. Four o'clock is a good shift, man. Give me another hour. One more hour. How are you so awake? Drugs. Don't know. Just the right combination of everything. And I think I had some sleep last night, maybe. Or the night before.

Oh, my God. Come on, man. No, I'm up. Do some jumping jacks or something. I don't do jumping jacks. Sit-ups? Push-ups? Hurt on your wiener.

Hurt on your wiener? There you go. Breakfast of champions. That's right, that's right. This will get you going, bubs. I got a little... This is a little... It's Friday. You want to say hello?

It's Friday, I'm in. You already did. He did the... Here. Welcome to Park After Dark. It is definitely after dark. Right now, the dark is gone. Been up, what?

It's Friday again. Two days have I been awake? Almost two days. Yeah, see? That's why you fell asleep a little bit. Because I slept two nights ago. Just not last night. All right, what's the flavor or the flavor word?

The word of the day from Creative Cursing is Hope it's a good one. Snot chomper. Ooh, not bad, I like it. It's a good- It's like a grade two- That's a good elementary school one. Yeah, that is. All right, my turn.

Robert, it's his turn. Oh, I didn't know we did multiple. We just started last week, man. Pay attention. No, we didn't. Yes, we did. See, you can't even say that one. Didn't we get that last week?

What? Retard stain. We should maybe... What? I guess we'll take that card. Yeah, you know what? What's on the back, though? Nothing. We don't like that word. Here,'ll take that card. Let's just take that fucking card. Yeah, you know what? What's on the back, though? Could be... Nothing.

We don't like that word. Here, let me see it. Terrible word. Filter material, my friends. Yeah. There you go. That's good. No, don't let him use that as filter material.

Just use that one. Don't use the other ones. No, but just in case the word somehow gets, you know, inhaled. Must be an elementary school swearing day. I got fart pincher. So what if he did inhale the fucking word? What does that even mean? I don't know. Maybe it's magic.

Think about it. My word's going to be the best. It can't be worse than ours. Nipple fondler. Still sort of elementary school. Not really. Okay, this one's gross. Granny slime.

Yeah, I mean, that's kind of... You think about things, right? You start to get thinking. What is it like? It's fucking gross. Like a snail trap? Well, yeah, but it's grosser, man. No, what he means is it like one.

It is, but it's grosser because it. No, what he means is it like wine. It is, but it's grosser because it's coming from your grandmother. You get it? I get it. I get it all right. Jesus. That sounds like a punk band. Granny Slime.

Granny Slime. Yeah. Okay, boys, I'm awake. You're awake? I am back awake. Good, boys, I'm awake. You're awake? I am back awake. Good, man. All right, I got a little competition with you guys. A competition?

Yep. How many, whoever gets closest without going over, wins something? How many bras do you think are made a day? Bras? Bras or bros? Bras. How many are made every day? Every day.

Well. 20 million. Jesus Christ, bubs. Why? Are you fucking kidding me? 20 million? That's a lot. That's a lot of money. I guess that's a lot.

Every day, man. Yeah, okay. I'm thinking every day. 140 a week. 140 million a week. Who? Is this one company or total? It's total, man. I'd say everything. $140 a week. $140 million a week. Who? Is this one company or total? It's total, man.

I'd say it had to be a million. A million. I'm going to say $2 million. $2 million. What's your guess? I'm just going to say $1.5 million. $1.5? You are the winner.

Here you go, my friend. Yes. What does that mean? Pepper Shaker, it's the dinosaur. This is mine. Well, it's just a gift. It's the winner. Here you go, my friend. Yes! Pepper shaker, it's the dinosaur. This is mine. Well, it's just a gift. It's yours now. He almost got it.

All right, so it's mine again. He almost won it. I won a pack. What was the answer? Watch the answer. Four million. Then I won. No, you went over with 20.

I said two. You said 1.5. Yeah, I said two. Oh, you said one. No, I gave me it. Okay, your first guess was one. I should get another guess then. Okay.

The answer's four million? Four million. Oh, shit. Four million? Four million. That's mine. Fuck. Okay.

Now I lost my pepper shaker. I love this pepper shaker. Cheers, buddy. Here's a fact I didn't know. You know Starfish. Do you know what those are? Everybody knows what a fucking starfish is. Guess what they don't have?

A fucking brain. Oh, yeah. So. They're not really, yeah. Corey and Jacob and Trevor are probably part starfish. They're great, great, great. They could also be. Grandfather or grandmother.

Part of the chain. They ain't been a starfish, boys. You can't, Ricky, you can't be related to a starfish. Or, you know what? What would happen if Ray banged a starfish? You couldn't bang a starfish. I know, but what would happen if Ray

if he banged one and you caught him and got pregnant? The poor little thing would come out. He wouldn't even know. He wouldn't even know. Yes. He wouldn't even know, though, because he doesn't have a brain. It's not really fair. Well, you couldn't bang a starfish anyway.

You could get banged by one, but you could not bang one. A starfish, how's a starfish going to bang you? Well, he's got five. No, that would be arming you, man. Well, it would be his form of banging you. He could bang five people at once. But how do they know what to do? How do they get through life without a brain?

I can't wrap my head around it. They have... They're not like a real thing, Ricky. But they are. They move. Ricky, you know... They grow. You can totally wrap your brain around this, man.

They have no brain yet, but they can grow a leg back. Figure that one out. It's all just... Or is it an arm? DNA, genetics, stuff. Are they arms or legs? They're... What are they, man?

They're star... Limbs? Star limbs. Pendants? Appendages. Appendages. Starfish appendages. That was pretty smart, man.

I actually said pendants. He said pendants. Oh, okay. Well, you triggered me to say appendages. That's what I'm good at. See, that's what I'm good at, saying a word that's close, and then you get the right word. That brings me up to speed.

That's one of my strengths in life. That's why we're a good team, because I know the real words, I just can't think of them. And he thinks he knows the real words, but he doesn't. That was too deep, man. Way too deep. What are we doing? What? I don't know, man. You guys hear about

that fucking, that guy in the Disneyland Paris edition? This guy. Yeah yeah i heard about him man yeah i know exactly what you're about to fuck off i'm telling a story man this dude from switzerland right he takes acid and goes to disneyland paris that's a bad freaks out falls in the adventure land league then takes off they can't find him. His girlfriend's freaking out going, what the fuck? Where's my boyfriend? He is on acid and he's lost his fucking life.

So he fell in a lake? He fell in a lake and then he jumped out and then he took off and then everybody had to find him. They had to get helicopters in with the heat seekers. What did he do? He took off his clothes. Maybe he vaporized.

I've been there, man. It sucks. He must have had a wild ride. What was it, 130 hours later or something? That's Microdot. They found him by the Pirates of the Caribbean. Sorry, that's Blotter. Naked.

Well, how was he running around naked and nobody could find him? He was hiding, man. He was probably covering himself in mud. He was camouflaged. He turned into Rambo. That's what he was doing. I've been there, man. It's turned into Rambo. That's what he was doing. I've been there, man. It's a fucking weird trip.

You used to run through the fucking woods, man. Sometimes you take blood and you're like, okay, this is nothing. Nothing happened. I'm going to take another one. And then you're running through the woods. Next thing you know, you're running through the woods naked trying to get away from these things that are chasing you. And you can't control anything. Imagine being at Disneyland.

That would blow your fucking mind. See, now I have to put that on my bucket list. You're not gonna do that, man. Ricky. They had like 80 people searching for this fucking guy. Yeah, but in his mind, he had 80 people trying to fucking kill him, so he's trying to do his best not to get fucking killed. Well, yeah, that's true. It was probably their

fault. The helicopters. He thought he was getting hunted. Like Rambo. Jesus. Murphy. Johnny Rambo. That would suck. Did you guys see that, Johnny? The Like Rambo. Jesus, Murphy. Johnny Rambo. That would suck. Did you guys see that, Johnny, the new Rambo? No. Was it good, man?

New Rambo? Well, it was out like a month and a half ago or something. It was the fucking, the last blood. Rambo. Was it Stallone? It's Stallone. Yeah, man, it was. I never saw that.

You better watch it, man. I'd like to. He was a killing fucking machine in that movie. Was it good, man? Oh, yeah. They killed his fucking niece or something. He just lost it. Who did?

The government? No, the Mexicans. It's funny you didn't ask us to go with you because you were probably embarrassed about how fucking excited you were, like a little girl. No, I went with a fucking date. You went with a date. I went with a date, man. You went by yourself, dressed up as Rambo You went by yourself dressed up as Rambo. I wasn't dressed up as Rambo.

And you knew that we would tease you. One of the guys from the gym, what was his name? Fuck you, man. Did you have the pipes tied off? No, I didn't have the pipes tied off.

Did you wear anything Rambo-esque? No, man. I wore this. You didn't wear a headband. No, I didn't wear a headband. Or a bandolier of bullets. Or just your Rocky shorts and no shirt. No, man. I wore thisolier of bullets. Or just your rocky shorts and no shirt.

No, man, nothing. I wore this. I bet you you had the guns tied off. I bet you you had the pipes tied off. Did you have your little camel knife with the compass on the top? He didn't have that knife. He had a serious fucking knife, though, man. You've got to watch it.

So is he still good looking at his age? He's old, man. He's Rambo. He's still Rambo. Rambo and Rumba. Rumba. You know grasshoppers, they got five fucking eyes, the lucky little fuckers. No, they don't, do they? Five?

It's an odd number, isn't it? That is weird. Five? What would that mean if you had five eyes? What do they, what's it look like through their eyes? They must all come into one place and just... I suppose I have two and I'm seeing, you know... Well, yeah, they've got five eyes. There's no difference if I do that.

Imagine a chicken, though. That's weird. If I close an eye, shouldn't there be a difference? Yeah, there is. Not with me. It's a chicken though. That's weird. If I close an eye, shouldn't there be a difference? Yeah, there is. Not with me. It's a peripheral thing. You only lose probably like 30% of your hands. You get a blackout in certain places.

No, I don't. Well, that's pretty impressive. If you were a grasshopper, you'd need five eyes. Imagine being a chicken though. You got your eyes over here. It's like, how the fuck does that work? So you're not seeing any of this shit. Or chameleons.

They can shoot their eyes in any direction. Fuck, it's weird. That's why they're always, like, fucking pecking their heads. They're, like, moving back and forth. But is it like two TVs? Looking this way, looking that way. I guess it's like having two TVs instead of one big one. You've got to think of it this way, man.

If the eye's over there, the peripheral vision is this way. No, man, the chicken's, like, on its side. I know, it's there. Chameleons can almost look behind them. Look, I'm sitting here right now. I can see you guys perfectly, right? Eyes there. Can you see me guys perfectly, right? Eyes there. Can you see me perfectly?

That was a good one. Why are you being an asshole? I just didn't believe you could see me perfectly. I can see just fine. What do you got for us? You got some OMG, do you? Oh! Not these things, man.

Everybody loves these. Nobody loves these. What's the date? You know what? If there's not a good one in there today, I'm burning that. What's the date today? October? October.

Fuck, man. I've been up for fucking 40 hours. We don't know the date? What date is it? It doesn't matter, I guess. Okay, here's a good fact. Right out of the gate. It fucking better be or I'm burning that fucking book. It's not going to's a good fact. Right out of the gate. It fucking better be or I'm burning that fucking book.

It's just not going to be a good one. Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour. Shut up. Why? How? Just the motion. What? Clonk, clonk, clonk.

I can get in shape by just doing that? Ricky. I can get in some fucking heavy metal and away we go? No, Ricky. Why would you even say that? Why would you say, like, get rid of that one? I want that one. I'm gonna put that up on my fridge. You're not gonna be banging your fucking head for an hour.

Put that up on your fridge, Ricky. Fuck. He doesn't even know what calories are, bubs. Yes, he does. No, he doesn't. What's a calorie, Rick? It's a thing that you eat. Well, now here's a fucking fact I've never heard. Are we gonna go

OMG? OMFG? I think you might. I think you might. All right I'm ready. Coca-Cola. Yes I've drank it. Yeah it's pop. They make so many different beverages. Yeah. That if you drank one per day how long do you think it would take you to try all other drinks if you drank one per day, how long do you think it would take you to try all other drinks if you drank one per day? I don't know how much- 17 years. Fuck off! What are you, insane?

17 years. Jesus Christ. Just throw them out like you did when I fucking was talking about my thing. I would say- I'd say two years. I'm just gonna say a year. No, man, three. I'd say two years. I'm just going to say a year. No, man, I'd say five years. A year would mean they make 365 different drinks.

You think it's more? Five years. Do I get a prize? Yes. Okay. Five years. Blocking it in. Fuck.

How many products does a company make? You know what? Oh, man. Maybe it's more. Because you're not fucking laughing, so I'm going to say eight years. It's nine years. Are you... No. Ricky won.

You gave him a hint, man. I did not. You fucking... Check the tapes. There's no way. Check the tapes. There's no fucking way. Here, Ricky, you won back your nail clippers.

Oh, yeah. These are good for more than just that. That's unbelievable. Nine fucking years you could drink a different type of coke drink every year. 900 times how many days? No, nine times 365. That's like, what, nine, how many years? That's 27.

Yeah, about 3,000 days. Something like that. 3,000 different bevvies? Let's do it. Oh, man, you go to Thailand, you're probably drinking all kinds of different fucking... Let's do it. Oh, yeah, like shrimp-flavored coke. China, all those places.

From now on, that's our goal. Each day, we got to drink a different... Well, you can't get them all here, Rick. You know what? I guarantee you, I'd only be able to drink maybe 200 different types, and the rest would suck. I guarantee you they have a shrimp-flavored one. Oh, definitely, man.

Look it up. Probably popcorn flavors. Say it's the shrimp-flavored Coke. All right, man. Well, that's a good fact. I was impressed with that one. Never knew that. I wouldn't have guessed that. That is fucking insane that they make that many products.

And you won? I won my fucking... these things back. What are they called? Nail clippers. Yeah, but there's another name for them, isn't there? Toenail clippers. Oh yeah. So it's sort of the same name. Okay. Oh man, they said what flavors do they have? They're gonna list all of them? Who? What are you just gonna sit here and rhyme them off?

World of Coca-Cola. No, I'm just gonna pick out a few fucked up flavors. Well, while you're doing that, I'll just go to bed, I guess. Here's another one that you're not gonna get. The average woman's uterus... What is that? The uterus, Ricky, in the guts there, where the baby forms. Okay.

It expands up to how many times it's normal size during pregnancy? I'd say it could be a lot. If you got triplets in there. No, I think this is talking to normal pregnancy. I would say 10,000 times. 10,000.

10,000? Did we get a prize for this? I'd say five. Ricky, she'd be as big as a fucking new trailer. Five times. I know, but the numbers are always higher than I think. So I went extra high. Ten.

Okay. Ten times. A hundred. He said, how many? I said... What is it? Ten. Ten? A hundred. Ricky said, how many? I said... What is it? Ten. Ten?

A hundred. Ricky wins again. No fucking way. It's 500 times it's normal. 500 times? That's fucked. No, no, no, man. That's bullshit.

So if it starts out this big, it ends up... Her uterus isn't that big. That's a moose size. Like, okay, so... Okay, but even if it's this big. 500 times... 500 times, yeah. It's bigger than the table.

Yo, man, that's bullshit. Are you sure you're talking about a human? It must be about the size of a pea. No, it can't be. It could be, I guess. No, it can't be because, you know... Well, you've been with enough ladies, you should know, Bubz, when, you know. I've never seen one.

You don't know what you're talking about, Bubbles. Of course you haven't seen one. Bubz, you have no fucking idea. You'd have to have a camera, a doctor camera, to see one. Jesus. Unless, I mean. You know what? That's a good idea.

No, it isn't. It's a terrible idea. I don't even know what the idea is. What? No, no, tell me. Something about a doctor's camera. And driving it in things. That'd be a good way to learn. You've got that DeWalt camera that we stole.

Yeah. Did you ever drive that up your ass or anything? No, I wouldn't do that. No, I don't have a uterus, do I? No, man. No, Ricky. No, I want't have a uterus, do I? No, man. No, Ricky. No, I want to see one now and see what it looks like. You can Google it. Well, fuck yeah, look it up.

What do you want me to look up? Uterus. Ladies' uterus. Didn't you... You don't need the ladies' part, Ricky. It's not going to get confused and think it's a man's uterus. It might be a cow's uterus. Oh, yeah, it could be a cow's uterus.

You should have fucking been taught this in a health class, like gym class. Why not? Do you have to be teaching it to yourself? Here's another good one. Just, okay. I hope it's not... That's a uterus.

Oh, yeah, I've been in one of those, haven't I? Ricky. Well, yes. You have a kid. Okay? You've been up there. Doesn't mean he was in there. He was out in that area.

Yeah, but he's been... I meant I was in one before I got born. Oh yeah, you were. Yeah, yeah. You lived in one for nine months. All right, I totally fucked up. You lived in one for nine months. I mean, it looks like something else I've been in, but it's, yeah, I know.

I've been in one, he says. The average person flexes the joints in his fingers how many times in his lifetime? Fucking more math. Finger joint flexing, how many times in his lifetime? Fucking more math. Finger joint flexing, how many times in your lifetime? Well, it depends if you've got a twitch, I guess, doesn't it? Well, yeah, that would depend, I guess. If you have a lifelong twitch, it's definitely going to be more. Ah, fuck.

Give me a hint. The average person flexes the joints in his fingers. Is this a lifetime? In his lifetime. See, this is fucking... I would have thought it was more. It's bullshit. Okay, what about...

There's no fucking way they know that. 25 million times. There's no fucking way. How many? 25 mil. 25 mil? There is no fucking way they know this. How many times?

He said 25 mil. Mm-hmm. And I better better get a prize if i win i'm gonna say 18 million recce wins again you kidding me this is 24 million you overbid price is right no no no you said we weren't doing the prices right. Too easy. All right, what do I win? I mean, come on. You got to give that to me.

I'm going to win this again. The matching duo. Ricky won both sets of his nail clippers. Now I can cut my nails twice as fast. What's up with the little dance, man? Nail clipping? I'd love to see you cutting both your feet, both your toenails. I would pay five bucks to see you do that. Ambidextrous.

Okay, when we get wasted tonight, we're doing it. I bet you JFK could do it. Bloody fucking mess. JFK could have did it. Why? Because he was completely ambidextrous. Oh, really? John F. Kennedy could write his name with this hand the right way,

and at the same time he could write his name upside down and backwards with this hand. No, he couldn't. See, that's why he's president. Not many people know that at Batman. I didn't know that. That's a fact. I know that. See, I'm going more OMG about that than any of this shit.

John F. Kennedy could write his name frontwards and upside down backwards simultaneously. I want to know this. What fucking guy followed another guy around and just watched all day as he bent his fingers? That's not how they do it, Mickey. That's not how they do it. They take a sample group and they monitor them for, say, you know, a week or a month.

Okay. Probably not even that long, and then they just extrapolate the data, it's called, and then they know, okay, they did it this much. Exaggerate the data. Well, they get it. I mean, it's not going to be right down to the fucking 24 million exactly.

Well, then it's not a fact. It's a fucking... It's a prediction. It says average, though, doesn't it? The average person, so it is a fact. It is a fact. Fucking Jesus., though, doesn't it? The average person. So it is a fact. It is a fact. Fucking Jesus.

That's how they get out of it. Just in case they're wrong. They're not getting out of it. Hey, we didn't say it was a fact. We said the average person that keeps us safe from getting sued. There's probably people that flex them a hundred million times. If somebody has a job where they're doing this, you know, squeezing triggers or something. Yeah, or if you were in an escort or something.

Hmm. Wow. Yeah, if you worked at a rub and tug, you know. There you go. Flexy flex. All right. Yeah. Overhand flexy flex. Right? Right.

All right. Is that it for those or what? Oh, here's a fact that might freak you out Better than the last one? Well, this isn't a guessing one This is just one I tell you A man's beard grows fastest when he's anticipating sex Ooh, that makes sense Your beard grows faster

Makes a lot of sense When you're out on the run I find when I'm in the zone We've talked about this That makes sense. Your beard grows faster. Makes a lot of sense. When you're out at the run. I find when I'm in the zone and I'm doing a lot of stuff. Hey, no, we've talked about this. We've been in jail. I've got to shave way more. But we've been in jail. I could go a couple days without shaving.

Exactly. Wow, man. That's what it is. When you're in the thick of it, as they say, you get the fucking 2 o'clock shadow. That's when you're in the thick of shadow. That's when you're out of the thick of it. You mean when you're in there? When you're getting some shit going.

You can almost feel it growing. Ricky, you're fucked. He's going to be doing some banging now, looking in the mirror, trying to watch his beard grow. I totally guarantee you. Well, he can just keep a little hand mirror by the bed. So I told you, I told you. He's going to fucking do it now. I just want to see there's a difference. Before you start Well, you can just keep a little hand mirror by the bed. So I told you, I told you. He's gonna fucking do it now.

I just wanna see there's a difference before you start until when you finish. Guarantee you there might be something to it. We would never notice, man, fuck. Well, if you do the time elective philography where you take a shot every four seconds or whatever. What's it called? Time-elected photography.

You know what I mean? The time-elected photography. Time-elected optography. Autography. No, when you do that, it just takes a picture like every... Time lapse, Ricky. Or you could say that. You could say that, too. You could say that. Just as easy. Fuck, I'm good and awake now, boy.

All right, fuck. Something's kicking in and I'm not doing good. I think I have to go to bed. What? Well, I'm just waking up, Ricky. You're up now. Me too, man. I'm fucking ready to go. I'm feeling like I need to go to the bathroom and then right to bed. Oh, well. Fuck. I guess. I guess we could. to go to the bathroom and then right to bed. Oh, well. Fuck.

Yes. Yes, we could. First I'm gonna do a little trimming. Oh. Ricky, don't. I wanna see you attempt this. Actually, you know what? Oh, there we go.

Whoa. There we go. I'm gonna burn some fucking calories. He's gonna burn some. Don't do that. Why would he do that? And why would you tell him that? Did he knock himself out?

He knocked himself out or he just passed out. I don't know what the fuck he did. Ricky! Rick! He didn't knock himself out, did he? I wasn't watching. Alright, I'm done. Ricky! Oh, my fuck. We're gonna have to...

Just let him be. No, he might have really hurt himself. I don't want to start drinking until tonight. I don't want to start right now, man. So we're just gonna leave him with a knockout. I gotta go. I'm leaving. Oh, my God. Thanks for tuning in, everybody.

Ricky, you better be faking. Ricky? He did knock himself out. Call 911. Terima kasih telah menonton! Thank you. you