Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 32 - The Year Gone Yonder

Episode Date: December 31, 2022

Welcome to the last Park After Dark of 2-0-2-2! The Boys begin their 48-hour new year's party and review the top songs, movies and celeb breakups of the year. What's in store for 2023? A trip to the Bahamas and weiner cozy knitting!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Ricky, there's no real song with that chorus. I'm telling you. Sucking and fucking on Christmas Day. Where did you hear that? I thought I heard you singing it at the Legion. Bing Cosby, he did a version of that, man.

Bing Cosby? Yeah. Back in the day, he was wasted. Crosby. Crosby, yeah. It was Bill Cosby, Bing. Bing Crosby. Crosby.

Bing Crosby did not sing We Will Be Sucking and Fucking on Christmas Day. He did, man. He was at the Flamingo fucking 63. Look it up. It was a guy named Bling Crosby. Bling Crosby. That's a totally new name.

We'll be sockin' and fuckin' on Christmas Day. He was born in Latvia. Really? Yep. Songwriter, composer. I don't think so, man. Fuck, it's cold in here. Like, what the fuck?

How are you going to survive this winter, man? I'm going to have to steal some diesel fuel or some oil. You know what we need to steal? A fucking wood stove. A wood stove. Easy. I talked to him putting a wood stove in my bathroom. Sheet metal welded up? Sheet metal? Not sheet metal, but fucking gas stove. A wood stove. Easy. I talked to him about putting a wood stove in my bathroom. Sheet metal,

weld it up. Sheet metal? Not sheet metal, but fucking cast iron. You don't make a wood stove out of sheet metal, my boy. You know what?

Cast iron fucking frying pans. I bet you could make a nice little oven on one of them. Yeah. Trailing off. I really don't care, man. Honestly. Boys, I'm really enjoying myself.

I'm happy today. Well, we made it through another year, fellas. Almost. Almost. Almost, buddy. Well, fuck. What is it, 12 hours away? Yeah.

Some nasty shit could happen in 12 hours. Okay, well, we made it to New Year's Day, or New Year's Eve Day. What an accomplishment, guys. Cheers. New Year's Eve day. What an accomplishment, guys. Cheers. New Year's Eve day. What the fuck? What a fucking train wreck this week has been. That's what I'm quite aware of.

Way too much liquor, maybe. Oh, Santa. Santa really fucking did it this year. You know what? Just when you think you're starting to slow down and you're partying, no. This happens. How many days straight has it been? Say.

364? It seems like a whole year. No, but since Christmas, I don't think I've slept since Christmas. So 24. I'm averaging about two hours a night. Yeah, I mean, I've nodded off, but I haven't gone to bed. What's the age when you're supposed to slow it down? 60. Okay, so we're supposed to slow it down? 60.

Okay, so we're good. Isn't it? Or maybe 60's when you're... You're supposed to slow it down in the 60's. Who fucking told you that, man? No. Well, aren't ya? No, man, no.

Is it ain't ya or aren't ya? You don't slow down, that's the thing. It's not aren't ya or ain't ya. Is that a word? You know, as Clean Eastwood always said, boys, remember this. Clean Eastwood. Clean Eastwood. Who's Clean Eastwood?

He takes a lot of showers. Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean. That last name is Eastwood. Clean Eastwood. You don't let the old man in. And he played Dirty Harry. With his brother, Clean Eastwood. Clean Eastwood played Dirty Harry. With his brother, Clean Eastwood.

Clean Eastwood played Dirty Harry. There's some good acting. Cover him in dirt. Okay, boys. All right, what are we doing? Are we just going to try to do this, or should we just not do anything? Welcome to the final perk after dark of 2022. Thanks, Father. Welcome to the final perk after dark of 2022.

Thanks, Father. I got a... You got a what? Something happening in my head, like a sharpie. A sharp pain. Hermalism? A sharp pain in my head. If I... If I just die, tell them to look in this area.

Are you smelling burnt toast? This area's where they want to be searching. All right, what do you want us to do with your body? Should we contact the police or just dig a hole and throw you in? No, no. Send you off down a river? No. Five, let's burn you.

Have a big old bonfire, roast smart smells, drunk. Roasted bubbles. Do it, man. Let's do it. Roast bubble sandwiches. Seeing you bubble. Hand me out of sandwiches at the Legion. Bubz, if you died, I'd prop you up in a chair.

We'd fucking put a nice layer of lacquer on you to mummify you. Just hang out with you. We can have bubbles. Maybe get a little string so you can move your mouth. Do it. I would love you to shellac me. Put me in the corner like this. Totally, man. I want it. I would love you to shellac me. Put me in the corner like this. Totally, man.

I want it. Put it in my well. That's my last well and testament. I want to be shellacked in the corner. Shellacked in the corner at Ricky's with a liquor drink in my hand and a smile. I'm fucking staying here. It's too stinky. Not if I'm shellacked.

I'm going to shellack him a good 20, 30 coats. 30 coats, airtight shellac. I wouldn't be stinkin'. If it starts stinkin', we'll get some more epoxy. Just keep adding epoxy to me. Tell them about nine feet thick. Flour-scented epoxy? Oh, put me in carbonite.

Carbonite? Is that Star Wars technology? Yeah, like, you know, Han Solo. Put me in carbonite like that. Is that how you want to Yeah, like, you know, Han Solo. Put me in carbonite like that. Is that how you want to be, or do you want to have... No, no, I want to be stuffed. Well, maybe get me stuffed so I'm not stinking. Like, take me to a taxidermist. Can you do that?

I would think so. But you know what? You'd be stuffed and fucked because you know... Jesus. We'd be getting drunk and haul you around. Say, hey, who wants the banger buddy? I thought you meant you. What? No, him.

Who wants the banger buddy? Yeah, go ahead. Don't do that, then. You're going to stuff his wang with a piece of steel? Imagine that. We could come up with a fucking calendar with different pictures. So I'm like, you can kill Bill basically. You're renting me out.

There's only six positions though, isn't there? No, I debunked that theory thoroughly. The drill press fucking. The drill pad, okay. Well, do you guys want to talk about some shit from the year gone

yonder? Let's do it, Rick. Let's just, is this what, a recap or what? The year where? Gone yonder. The year didn't go yonder. Where did it go? It elapsed in space-time continuum. If it went yonder, it means it went over there somewhere.

Yonder. Okay. Do you want to hear what the top fucking five songs of 2022 were, according to Rolling Stone magazine? Yes. Number five. The Weeknd. No, it didn't make the list.

Not top five. There's no way The Weeknd didn't make the top five. Didn't happen. Let's give it to us, man. Rosalia. Bullshit. She sang Despatch? Despatch?

D-E-S-P-E-C-H-E. Despatch? I don't know. What? How the fuck did it work? Fucking turn it on. Fuck it up. Oh, man, I don't want to.

Give me a cup of beer. Here. I can do it on my daily phone. I'm not typing anything, man. It's too fucking long. You got Spotify? I've got a thing that plays music. What's it called?

D-E-S-P-E-C-H-E by Rosalia. D-E-S-P-E-C-H-E. Let's go. De Specie. That's probably it. How is it pronounced? De Specie. De Specie.

What is this, an Italian song? Must be. French? It could be fucking... Ooh, I see why it's in the top five. Make some moves. Get your shoulders going. Yeah.

Boys. This fucking song is awful. I can't take it. Dirt leg bumps. Bring the cat. That's number five. That's not great. All right, number four, Taylor Swift, Karma.

Fuck. Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, karma. You gonna give us a couple bars? Yeah, give us a couple, pups. Well, are we gonna get sued? No. No, man. This is Taylor Swift, top song.

Because of us, she might sell an extra album or two. Ooh, doesn't sound very good quality. It's not a very good sound. Is that it? Yeah. Never heard of it. That's number four. Uh-huh. Turn that shit off.

Let's go to number three. Yeah, I'm not feeling that. I thought it was Karma Chameleon. That's a good song. All right, number three, Steve Lacey, Bad Habit. Bad Habit? I don't know any of these songs. No, it's because we're out of the loop.

I think I've heard this song before. Bad Habit, I don't know any of these songs. It's because we're out of the loop. I think I've heard this song before. Bad Habits, Steve Lacey. I did hear this before. I don't know. I'm just not getting it. That's no Def Leppard, man. Turn that shit off. I guess we should search top rock songs, maybe.

Number two, Beyonce, Cuff It. Is that it? Cuff It? I don't know. I might have to. I can't really see what it says. Cuff It. Yeah, Cuff It by Beyonce.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, Cuff It by Beyonce. This just sounds like a fucking Expedia commercial or something. I'm not into it, man. But if we were watching this... Shop now, get 30% off at Expedia.com. You gotta watch the video. The number one song is by Bad Bunny.

Bad Bunny? What the fuck is that? Titty me pregundo. Precanto? Oh, fuck. Titty me precanto. So this is not... I probably didn't pronounce that right.

Bad Bunny. Bad fucking Bunny. Titty me precanto. Have you ever heard of Bad Bunny, bros? Yeah. Titty me precanto. bunny. Titi mi Pregunto. Have you ever heard of Bad Bunny, Bubs? No. Titi mi Pregunto. So it's very the top five are all

very... Similar? No. Titi me pregunto si tengo mucha novia. It's kind of fucked up with the plus one. I like it. Pero no hay boda. Titi me pregunto si tengo mucha novia. Mucha novia. I'm fucked up with the bus line. I like it. I don't know, boys.

That's the best song of the year. Corner roll is still there. Make some moves. Bubs. You're probably in a club. You're teaching me brown gondos. Yes, Bubs. You're probably in a club. You're actually treating me brown gondos. Yes, Bubs. You're probably in a club right now. I mean, you're fucking giving it.

You're beginning to fight because you'll be smacking into people. Someone will glass you. You'll turn into a nightmare. All right. We'd be in jail if we listened to that tune in a club, Bubs. Yeah. Don't ever play it. Ricky, get glassed.

All right. You know what? I am fucking disappointed. We're here in the top fucking five movies of 2022. Fuck you, Roberto. Yes. Oh, man, I fucked up. It goes 5, 4, 3, 4, 5.

What? I think it's supposed to be 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. All right, we're going to pretend it is. Number five was called Girl Pitcher. Don't know it. Girl Pitcher? No. Number four is called Till.

Till. Oh, that must be a Robin Lekker story. This one I want to see just based on the name. Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. Number three. What? Marcel the Shell. Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.

A little twist on a shell. So it's a shell that wears shoes? I think it must be. Sounds pretty cool to me. That's adorable. Number two is called Happening. Who's in that? I don't know.

And number one movie of 2022 was The Quiet Girl. I don't know any of those. We are fucking out of the loop, boys. Were they at the movie theaters? Don't know. What happened to Maverick? Okay, so at the box office, Top Gun was number one. It did $1.5 billion.

Didn't see it yet, but... Top Gun. Jurassic World. You gotta go see that. I saw it. Jurassic World did a billion. Suck, but it did a billion. And Doctor Strange did $955 million.

That's a lot of fucking money. Top Gun was the number one at the box office? You wait till fucking 2023 Avatar. Holy fuck. Puffs. The new one? Yes. This is the deal.

I haven't seen it. We're going to go see it. But we got to go to on mushrooms to see Avatar. All right, I'll do it. You know what? I'll do a little bit. We'll do it tomorrow, New Year's Day. All right.

Go see the blue... The blue... What are they called? The aquit... Aquit... Aquitucks. Aquitucks? Aquitucks? Aren't they?

I don't fucking know. You're asking me? What's an aqueduct? What are they called? The avatars. They're called, um... Ginseng? Ginseng?

That's a... That's a space. That's not... No. The ginseng. The ginseng is good for you, man. Ginseng warriors,eng? That's a spice. That's not, no. The ginseng. The ginseng is good for you, man. Ginseng warriors, aren't they? I don't remember.

You're asking me? Don't. Pups, I have no fucking idea, man, who those little motherfuckers are. Oh, man. They're not little. They're fucking nine footers. And some of them are hot.

The chicks, they're hot looking. Would you do it with an avatar? Got some more fun facts for you for 2022. Biggest celebrity breakups. Oh, no. Jason Mimosa and Lisa Bonet. Yeah, done. He's not Mimosa, is he?

Like the drink. I don't know. Isn't that his name? Jason Mimosa? Is that his name? Mamoa. Mamoa, man. Mamoa.

Mimosas is a drink. Ricky, we should have Mimosas. That should be his drink for sure. We should have drinks right now. Mimosas. He gets a lot of Mimosas for free. Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus. Didn't even know that.

Oh, man. I'm going to cry. Is that Siley's mother? Siley. What's's mother? Siley. What's her name? Siley Myrus. Riley, isn't it? Riley Cyrus.

What the fuck is her real name? Miley. Miley Cyrus. What did I call her? Siley Myrus. Siley Myrus. Billy Ray Siley. You know why I bet they broke up?

Because he got fucking famous again with that horse song. Yeah. Siley Ray Siley. You know why I bet they broke up? Because he got fucking famous again with that horse song. Yeah. Siley Ray Myrus. He's going to take my horse to the hotel room. Siley Ray Myrus. Yeah. Miley Say Sibus. Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey.

Michael Jordan, the basketball judge. It's Harvey, man. This. Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey? Michael Jordan. The basketball judge. Judge Harvey, man. This is the B. Harvey's a funny fucker. Who? Have you ever seen that guy Harvey, man? Harvey Levin? No, no, no. Harvey's hamburgers? No, Harvey's, they're good. Wish we had some. What Harvey? Harvey,

the fucking... From TMZ? No, man. Jesus fucking Christ. It's Harvey, the guy that... the father No, man. Jesus fucking Christ. It's Herbie. The guy that... The father of that chick. Lori? Yes. Lori Herbie.

He didn't start the restaurant. Oh, my fuck, boys. He's got about ten shows on. Who not? He's got Judge Herbie. He's got fucking... Steve Herbie? Steve Herbie!

Yes. Okay. His name's not Herbie, man. His last name is fucking Herbie. He started Herbie's? Oh, Jesus fucking Christ's not Herbie, man. His last name's fucking Herbie. He started Herbie's? Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, Ricky. No, man. Yeah.

That's fucking cool. Dave Toms did Wendy. Steve Herbie did Herbie. I thought it was a Canadian thing. No, man. He's probably never had a Herbie. Leo DiCaprio and Erdo and Camille Monma? Who? Leo DiCaprio and Erdo.ille Monma? Ooh, Leo DiCaprio Nardo.

Yeah. Wasn't he dating that? She was beautiful, but she was, like, really young, half his age. Yeah, now he's going over the senior, basically. A senior? Yeah, he's 27. Oh. That's old for him, man.

College senior, you mean? Yeah. He's fucking breaking down. Who is it? Where? Who did he break up with? Camille. I can't see., you mean? Yeah. She's fucking breaking down. Who is it? Where? Who did he break up with? Camilla. I can't see.

Camilla Parker? No. He wasn't dating her, was he? He's going with a son, a deed or a beave or something. Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson. I didn't even know they broke up. I didn't even know they were together. Yes, Pete Davidson.

He is banging the hell out of everyone, man. Big wing. Yeah, he's got a big wiener, according to what's her name? What was her name? A little singer? See, this is some fucking crazy shit here. Rondé. What?

Blondie? Adriana Grande? Ariana Grande. I thought you said Blondie. Adriana Grande? Ariana Grande. Grande. I thought you said Blondie. Names are not coming out good today. Would Blondie be Blondie in France? Please come on the stage. Blondie.

Blond. Blond. B-L-O-N-D-E-A-G-U. I got a lot of money with the gas. Soon found out. You want to hear about some people who lost a lot of money in 2022? Me. Bill Gates lost $27.3 billion, but it was because he donated to charity.

That was nice of him. So he didn't lose it. Well, it took off his fortune. Yeah, but who gives a fuck? He's giving it to people that need it. That's right, man. He doesn't give a fuck if he's at the top of the list. There's something going on there, man.

Someone just doesn't give away a billion bucks. Number nine, L'Oreal's Francoise Brubicourt-Meyer. She lost $30.7 billion. Who did? Because of COVID in China, lockdowns. L'Oreal's that? Oh, fuck. I feel bad for her.

Do you? L'Oreal's not a person. It's not L'Oreal. I don't give a fuck. They lost money, billions, who cares? Philanthropist Mackenzie Scott. She was married to that Amazon guy. What's that, Bezos?

Yes. Very good, man. She lost fucking... That's Jay's house. $34 million. But she donated some of the stock tank, I guess. $34 billion. Google Sergei Brick.

He lost $38.1 billion because his stock crashed. You know what? I don't give a fuck. This is such a... He lost $38 billion. Guess what? He's still probably got fucking tons. I just want to be a billionaire.

All right, well, let's just go to number one, Mark Zuckerberg, who lost $87.3 billion because his stock tanked. Good. That's a lot of fucking money. Yeah, but you know what? I bet you he still has $20 or $30 billion. He's no longer in the top 10 richest people in the world. Oh, fuck.

He's been on that since he got a job. So he's number 11. Oh, fuck. Poor him. He can fucking suck my nuts, Mark Zuckerberg, can't he? He could pay to have someone suck them for him. He could. Good.

100% he could. Hey, bud. Pay you 100 grand to suck some nuts over here. I can't imagine losing that much money or having that much money to lose. That's so fucked. If you're losing 30 billion, you've probably got $50, so who gives a fuck?

Yeah, you're right. Even if he lost it all and he still had a million dollars, he's still a fucking lot better off. His fucking shoes are probably worth more than we'd ever make in our fucking life. Yeah, he's probably got gold-plated fucking shoes. He's got some nice shoes, man, I bet. Elon musky nuts lost $66.4 billion.

Good. Yeah, people aren't liking him lately. Well, he's not doing very good things. Dave Chappelle took him on stage in San Francisco and the whole fucking place booed. Yeah, I know, I saw that. And then Elon had to go to therapy. Did he?

Yes, he went for therapy. He probably can't afford that anymore. He lost $66 billion. Well, he can afford it. Should we talk about resolutions? You guys going to make any? I make one every year. Well, here's the top ten resolutions.

Number one, obviously, is exercise more. You don't have to do that one, Julian. No, I'm gonna keep doing that one. You'll fucking just blow apart if you do any more. Number two is lose weight. Yeah. Number three is get organized.

Who the fuck makes that as a resolution? You need to be fucking organized. I do that one every year, boys. What does that mean, though? Just get your shit together. If you were organized, we wouldn't be sitting here freezing our fucking balls off. Correct. You would have had your bills organized. Look at your fucking living room.

Does that look like organization? All right. That is best. I organize my fucking toolbox. I've got all my screws in the right fucking... I misunderstood. I thought it meant you either join a union or you become part of an organized group. You don't even fucking work.

Join a union, not organize like tax. It means straighten up your fucking house. Put your dishes away. Go through your fridge and throw half the shit that's in there. I'll put a checkmark beside that one. Number four, learn a new skill or hobby.

That's a great resolution. That's a good one. I do that every year. You know what you need to learn? What? Clean your fucking bathroom. That's not a skill or a hobby. It's got to be something for you, man.

It's a fucking shitty chore. Because it is awful. I am learning a new skill. You know what I'm doing, boys? What? Taking bacon lessons. Bacon. How to bake.

Yeah. How to cook bacon ten different ways. No, no, baking. Like I'm gonna learn how to bake. Bakes goods. I mean, I can bake, but not, I don't know what I'm doing. It's easy to bake. I can fucking bake.

I'd like to learn how to knit. No, you can't. I'll learn with you. What, baking? Well, I can already knit, but I can, I- Knit? You guys wanna fucking knit now? I'll knit the fuck out of some stuff. No, no, no, Well, I can already knit, but I can... Knit? You guys want to fucking knit now? I'll knit the fuck out of some stuff. No, no, no, no, no.

You guys start knitting. I would agree now. If I had a nice, freshly knitted sweater, how warm I'd be. No, I could just imagine what kind of shit you'd knit. Start small, like with a wiener cozy or something. Work your way up to socks. Boys, I want to have fun.

Will you knit me a wiener cozy? I will do that for you in 20, 23. Have you ever slept with a wiener cozy on? It's a whole different sleep. What the fuck is a wiener cozy? A little knitted thing that goes over your wiener. You've got one. I've knitted one for myself.

Do you have it on right now? No, but when you sleep with one on, it's a whole different sleep. You've got a cock sock. Oh, you just sleep with it. Cock sock's not a bad item. Do you have the cock sock on when you're pulling the goalie? No. Do you put it on after you're done?

No, it's just for warmth and comfort when you're sleeping. Number five, live life to the fullest. Check. Mark. Doing it. Let's do it, guys. Save more money is number six, or spend less money. Make more money.

Yes. Quit smoking. X. Spend more time with family and friends. Not possible. Number nine, travel more. We could travel. Where do you want to go, guys?

Let's go somewhere exotic. We've never guys? Let's go somewhere exotic. We've never been. Let's go to Dublin. Quebec is not exotic, Ricky. I mean, let's go to the Caribbean. It's not exotic. We need lots of money to go there, buddy. No.

Oh, yeah, you do. Why? It's fucking... No, but you can get these, like... These deals, man. These package deals. It's all... No, but you can get these, like, you know... These deals, man. These package deals. It's, like, all-inclusive.

Go to Cuba. Let's go to... Let's go to the Bahamas. The Bahamas. Bahamas. All right. Want it? I heard that's expensive, man.

No, I think you can get there cheap, and then once you're there... Yeah, but what's cheap to you? Cheap to me is a couple hundred bucks. That's what it is. A couple hundred bucks will get us there. You know what? Right now, everybody still has their stupid presents

under the trees. Everyone's gonna be pasting big time tonight. We could probably make a couple grand each in 40 minutes. We hit three different locations. At the same time. We come up with the money at the same time. Yeah. Well, if it gets me to the Bahamas, I'll go with you and drive the car.

Number 10, spend less time on social media. Check. Check. Check a rooney. Let's do that. Because I don't even do it now. But we're on social media right now. So that's not good.

All right, take eraser to check. Okay, uncheck. I have to do more. There was no marks there, actually. What? I was just saying I didn't actually make the marks. Oh, okay. Sorry, man.

I thought I did, buddy. I think I'm going to puke, boys. I'm going to run around or something. What? All the people who got born on New Year's either be cool Do you want to go got born to December the 30? Here we go. Yes. Don't care. Wait, what don't December 30 Yeah today New Year's Eve Wait, mr. What's the date today's not

It's December 3 0 New Year's Eve It's December 3-0, New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve is the 31st, Ricky. Are we a whole fucking day early here? It's not 31st. You got me thinking here, bubs. December 31st is New Year's Eve. 30 days has September, April, June, and December. No, Ricky.

Ricky. Today's the 30th, man. Yeah, New Year's Eve. No, Ricky. Tomorrow, so we're all, we got fucking boys. So we're not celebrating New Year's Eve. It's Yeah, New Year's Eve. No, Ricky, tomorrow it's a whirl. We got fucking boys. We fucked up. So we're not celebrating New Year's Eve. It's not even New Year's Eve. Tomorrow's New Year's Eve. Tomorrow's New Year's

Day. No, man, it's 31. 31. 31, December 31, Ricky. When is it? What is it, a fucking leap year? I can't be this fucked up for boys. I can't go to more days like this. Ricky. You fucked up. December 31st is can't go two more days like this. Ricky. You fucked up.

December 31st is New Year's Eve. It always has been. If today is the 30th, we are 24 fucking hours early. So you know what you did? Oh, my fucking God. We can't do mushrooms tomorrow night because they're not going to work. We fucking... Why? Mushrooms don't work two days in a row, man.

If you take enough of them. No, yeah. Well, then let's throw off these. I've got six in me now. That's like my limit, man. What about edibles? We'll just take a shit ton of them. And go to sleep.

That's going to happen. Fuck. Holy fuck. So all these fun little facts I had don't even work. No. Well, they work. Just tomorrow. God damn it.

I thought when I woke up this morning, I was sure. Well, I guess I was just listening to him saying, it's New Year's Eve, boys. I know, man. Are we sure? Yes. You fucked up the New Year's buzz on, bud. Here, I can tell you. Well, we'll just keep going.

It's a 48-hour fucking New Year's Eve. Watch this, Ricky. What is the date today? December 30th, 2022. December 30th. Obviously. December 30th. But, okay, but we don't know that's not New Year's Eve.

Fuck it. You know what? Tonight is New Year's Eve. Fuck the calendar. We are celebrating. What? Here, let me do it. What date is New Year's Eve?

New Year's Eve will be on Saturday, December 31st. Oh, my fucking God. There is 31 days. No kidding. Okay. For those of you watching this, tonight is New Year's. So pretend it is for us. Two night.

It's a two night event. It's a two night extravaganza. But tonight is New Year's. Like, in case I don't make it tomorrow night. Motherfucker. Tonight is New Year's one and tomorrow is New Year's. Like, in case I don't make it tomorrow night. Motherfucker. Tonight is New Year's 1 and tomorrow is New Year's 2. Nobody really gives a fuck about these people because they're not born on New Year's Eve. I never give a fuck about when people are born, man.

Alfred Einstein. Who cares? No, it's Albert. No, this is Alfred, his cousin. It's Albert. It's Alfred. Alfred fucking A-L-F-R-E-D. I know.

He's a musicologist? Oh, great. What is that? It's like a music... Scientist? Yes, like a historian. Who gives a fuck? A DJ could be a musicologist.

That's what I'm saying, man. Bo Diddley. Bo Diddley put the rock in. Rock and roll. You don't know Bo Diddley. Bo Diddley put the rock in, rock and roll. You don't know Bo Diddley? Isn't that the expression? No, you don't know Diddley Squad. Oh yeah.

That's when Bo takes a shit, Diddley Squad. Davy Jones. Davy Jones from the Monkees. Yeah. Sax machine. Was he? Oh, Davy Jones. Patti Smith, she was an American poet and punk rock vocalist.

Yes. And the Horses. Yes, Ricky. Jeff Lynn. Fuck. Jeff Lynn. E-L-O. Electric Light Orchestra.

My favorite story about him was the Running Down a Dream guitar solo. Was he did that one? Yeah. Walked in the studio. Tom Petty. Tom Petty's like, you want to hear it? He's like, nope. Just play it.

And he fucking just improvised that solo. No, he said play it like you're in a fucking Ferrari, man. And it's one of the greatest guitar solos ever, I think. I love it, too. Bruce Fairbairn? Loverboy? Batman. Oh, he was in Loverboy, Bon Jovi, and Aerosmith? Who? Jesus. How the fuck did that happen? Loverboy? Batman. Oh, he was in Loverboy, Bon Jovi, and Aerosmith?

Who? Jesus, how the fuck did that happen? Loverboy. Everybody is working for the weekend. Oh, he's a record producer, that's why. Oh, he's a producer. Ben Johnson? Fast, fast, fast.

We just talked about him the other day. Heidi Fleiss? Wasn't she married to Snow? Not Snow other day. Heidi Fleiss? Wasn't she married to Snow? Not Snow, Seal. Heidi Fleiss? She was the one with the money. No, the hookers. The madam.

Upskill prostitution ring. Yes. She was a good business person, man. For a while. Everybody was shitting their pants. Tiger Woods got born on the day before New Year's Eve. Who gives a fuck? LeBron James?

Fucking Jesus. You've got no December 31st? I didn't even know December had 31 days until today. Well, thank fuck you figured it out, man. Has it always been this way? Yes, every year we do it on the 31st. Fucking Jesus.

But, boys, this is good. We got a two-day New Year's now. I don't know if I got enough left in the tank. Yes, we do. Drug cupboard is getting low. Booze cupboard is almost empty. What if we put our three tanks together and did communal gas? What?

Steel gas? No, no. I'll pool all of our tanks together. We did communal gas. What? Steel gas. No, no. I'll pool all of our tanks together. Bob's, Bob's, I'm on a lot of, I'm firing on a ton of mushrooms at the moment, all right? As soon as these disappear, I am wasted, drunk. I'm running on reserve as we speak.

So what are you saying? New Year's is room? I'm fucked up as soon as I'm shroomed out. I'm in drunk fucking laying lad. That's all right. Maybe just pump the brakes on the lecker. No. And add in some edibles or something. God damn it.

I can't believe I fucked this up this bad. It's a bad one. I can't believe I woke up and thought it was the 31st. We're celebrating New Year's fucking 24 hours early. You know what our only hope is? And I don't know if you have any or not. LSD. Wow.

That'll take us into the new year. There may be a couple of those left. Boys, you're not doing LSD. They're going to be 25 years old. I don't know if it still works. You're not doing 25 you're not doing LSD. There's got to be something down in between the cushions of the cuts or something. They're going to be 25 years old. I don't know if it still works. You're not doing 25-year-old LSD, boys. Well, bubs.

I'm not dealing with that. I don't want to either, but at three in the morning, I probably might. I will. Last time you did that, you got up in the fucking chicken bucket

at Kentucky Fried Chicken. There may also, may or may not be, some quaaludes. Jesus, fuck. Jesus fuck. Alright. This mirror's gonna turn into fear and loathing, man. Let's get it going.

I don't think I've ever done Quaaludes. I don't think I have. You have them? Well, the old man had them in his little trucker box. Oh, fuck. Raise old trucker ludes. No, man. We're not doing old 70s Quaaludes. There's Bennys in there for sure.

We're not doing old Quaaludes from the 70s, boys. With LSD. That's quite a combo. That would be Fear and Loathing for sure. Make sure I don't, bubs. Okay, let's just keep drinking, boys. We could do that. We could put out a special called Fear and Loathing in Sunnyvale.

Park after lewds. Park after lewds. Pal. All right. We'll have to see what happens. You know what? Let's just play it by ear, I guess. Play it by ear.

Okay. You know what I mean? Let's just go with it. Ricky, you're in charge of entertainment for tonight. All right. For the rest of the Okay. You know what I mean? Let's just go with it. Ricky, you're in charge of entertainment for tonight. All right. For the rest of the night. What else is going on? You know what?

There's no fucking ball coming down in New York tonight. No. So what the fuck are we going to do? We should grab Randy, find a flagpole, grease him up, throw him up there and pull a cordy. He just comes down. Do they drop the ball or do they raise it? They drop it.

They fucking drop it, don't they, man? We could get Randy on a flagpole, like you're saying. We're green. Grease him up. Bit of Velcro, some rope. Ton of lights. Wrap him in Christmas lights. Fireworks, firecrackers, those sparkly things.

And then at midnight, we fucking lower them down the pole. Light them up. Plug them in and fucking lower them. See, that would be a new fucking tradition we could start the day before New Year's. What do they call it in New York? What do they call it? Dropping the ball? Okay, so we're going to drop the gut.

Drop the gut. Into the New Year's. Drop the wheel. New Year's Eve. I think we should do it. I've got to figure that out later. It's too much. Can't wrap my head around that one. The New Year's Eve before the New Year's Eve.

Gut drop. New Year's Eve-y. New Year's Eve-y. New Year's Eve before the New Year's Eve gut drop. New Year's Eve-y. New Year's Eve squared? You know what? You may have came up with something really fucking cool. I didn't come up with it. You did? You did.

New Year's Eve-y. Okay. Well, yeah. Dropping the gut. It's also, you know, it's a Friday night, too, so. You know what January 1st of this year would be? New Year's Eve-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y- and run. We'll get Jacob to do it or something. What is this? He's still going to January 1st. Gotta do it 364 times.

Maybe I won't. No, you don't. Maybe I won't. I was disappointed by the top songs. I don't think... You know what? Google... Okay, what is your favorite song of the year? Ask what the best rock song of 2022 is. I want to ask Ricky what the best fucking rock song of 2022 is.

I don't know, man. Bubz? Son Soleil. What were the best rock songs of 2022 according to Rolling Stone magazine? Here's a summary from Rolling Stone. The best songs of 2022 so far. Megan Thee Stallion, Plan B, Becky G. No, I said rock songs.

Wet Dream, Light. Stop talking. Those didn't sound like the same ones. Those were the fucking, the top 100. That was bad. Yeah. What are the best rock songs of 2022? Oh. What? Give it to me. Best rock songs of 2022. Oh!

What? Give it to me. Black Summer, Red Hot Chili Peppers. That's a good fucking, that's a good song. That came out this year? Yes. I've never heard of it, man. We can listen to that.

Call Off the Dogs by Slash. Okay, we can listen to that. Much better list. See, this is listen to that. Much better list. See, this is more my style. I fucked up and forgot to use the word rock. Take What You Want by Def Leppard. They have a new song. I didn't know they had a fucking new music out, man.

Def Leppard got, yes, they did a whole thing. 2022. Motherfucker. Everything's Electric, Liam Gallagher. I know that song. That's fucking great. Everything's electric. These areagher, I know that song. That's fucking great. Everything's electric. These are the, oh, Wild Child by the Black Keys.

Excellent song. You know that one? What the fuck is this? Don't know, man. Oh, fuck. What was the name of the tune? Which one? Def Leppard.

No, no, no. Well, yeah. No, Seth. Chili Peppers. Oh. No, no, no. Well, yeah. No, Seth. Chili Peppers. Oh. Oh, um, Black Summer. Well, there's a fucking show on Netflix called Black Summer, and this is not the tune.

You fucked up bad. Fuck. How the fuck do I get out of here? Can you help him? I do, boys. He's fucked. This is going to be a good night, though. I know, but now we're on mushrooms for no reason.

Black summer. Oh, Jack White. Jack White had some songs. Black summer chili peppers. She's related to Jack Black. Jack White and Jack Black are not related. You think they should be? But they'd make a good cookie.

Get it? The black and white cookie, you know. And is Jack Black really Jack Black? What do you mean? What? You're saying, does the black stuff come out? Yeah. No, man.

Man, maybe. Good living. That's what you think about when you do mushrooms sometimes. Okay, I think I got it. The fuck is cream on my mask? Fuck off. What do you want to hear, Black Summer? Yes.

Let's fucking end it with that. Okay, here. Here we go. Trail off music. Hey, neighbor, welcome back to Beyond the RC. Christ. Air. Black Summer. Shut your shit down Don't fucking talk to me.

Shut your shit down. You're too fucked up. I'm a funk and I'll turn it up. Turn it off. Jesus Christ. All right, well, happy New Year. Is this a whole album? It's just one's. Is this a whole album? Or is this one song?

It's a whole album. And we'll see you in the 2023, everybody. Have a two-day fucking party like we're doing. We've got to try to time it for when the chorus kicks in. Two years, Eve's, Eve's. Okay. New Year's, Eve's, Eve's. The gut's dropping tonight.

So tonight is part one. It's the Randy drop. When is the Randy drop? That's going to be 12. Let's make it 1 o'clock. Fuck it. We can make any time. We're late.

Hour late. Let them freeze up there for a bit. Put them up there around 7. All right. Nice, boss. Yes. Very nice. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer,

go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.