Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 33 - J-Roc in da House

Episode Date: March 16, 2016

J-Roc is this week's special guest! He takes Skype calls from some stoned mawfks, and chats with the Boys about dinosaurs on Mars, Donald Trump, and nutscapes. RAAAAYY! Episode 33 is brought to you by Jukasa vapor products. Jukasaaaaa!!      

I Don't understand Jayrock why you need to wear that I mean, I'm kind of laying low right now. You know I'm saying If you could like maybe not call me Jayrock, you know saying like my father said no they gonna know Podcast and people know that you're on. Like, you should have told me. I kind of advertise it, you know what I mean? Like, you might want to mention, hey, by the way, I'm not fucking J-Rock right now.

But it's like a radio show, right? Motherfuckers can't see me here. They can only hear my voice, you know what I mean? No, J-Rock. But the cops might find out, and they're gonna know you're here, and they're just gonna come here and get you, right? Maybe it's a J-Rock impersonator. Maybe it's someone who pretended to be my candy, you know what I mean? Yes, yes. Boys, here and get you, right? Maybe it's a J-Rock impersonator. Maybe it's someone who pretended to be my candy,

you know what I mean? Yes, yes, that's... Boys, we're going here, right? This is all... Boss, when did you tell people to fucking start calling in, man? I'm getting like, there's a thousand calls coming in right now. I just put up a little tweeter thing that said... All right, we're gonna get this going. Uh, this is official Trillip Hurt Boy, Pod Cash,

coming at you right now. This is episode... Pod Cash? Is there money involved on this, man? Pod Cash. He's getting money somehow. Nobody else is. What you getting money for, huh? I'm getting some deals going.

It's a lot of paperwork involved, as you know, being a businessman. Y'all motherfuckers asking me to do this like a favor, you know what I'm saying? Ain't nobody talking about money involved. What we got here, look, look, look, look. Here, Chukasa. He's got this. Tell me he's not getting money for that. Chukasa, sukasa, bitch.

Take one of these things, man. Ricky, get that chukasa thing out of here. This fucking thing's dry. First Saturday. Today I'm having China mint. It's 60% Arctic chill and 60% Saigon cinnamon. Ricky, don't be promoting it. We're not getting paid. I know. That's what I say.

No, no, we're not promoting it anymore. Here, be sure you get this. How old is this popcorn with its candy what I say. No, no, we're not gonna get paid. I'm not promoting it anymore. Here, be sure you get this. How old is this popcorn with its candy? Close up. Oh, who knows? It's from about 4 a.m. It was tight. All right, we got a special guest here.

Blah-bazhee-a-ha, it was sweet peace. J-Rock's in the house, so. What's crackin', bitches? I know, can you just look at that and hold that up for a second to say, Jocasa. Don't do it. Don't do it, J-asa. Don't do it.

Don't do it, J-Rock. Don't do it. Here. Whack. There, see that? That's what I should be doing. Is that how I put it? Jucasa.

No. Unless you start doling out the money. Ciderbin has a bite. Popcorn for you, man. This shit's good. Jucasa. All right, so did you get another motherfucker to say that shit? You see it?

You just said it. Yeah, but I said it like in italics, like... Jucasa. See it? I said it like a punchline. It's still working. Jucasa. See, yeah. He probably gets paid for every time it gets said, so he's just loving that.

What, Jucasa? Maybe we got a side deal, you know what I'm saying? Because I can say it a whole bunch of times, motherfucker. You want to cut me in? All right, OK. I've got a box of these things. Of the Jucasa? Damn right.

This Jucasa or this Jucasa right here? I got a bunch of these weird deals. I got some of this thing. I've been selling them at the convenience store. Ray, every box on this motherfucker right here say Jucasa. There's like 10 Jucasas up in this mafk. All right, it's a little out of control now.

So you guys now have a fucking side deal going on. But we're gonna talk about it, okay? Talk about what? Jukases? That's right. Okay, guys. This is a pretty special fucking podcast, isn't it? Why? Well, I don't know. J-Rock's here. You got anything lined up or you just gonna be dumb?

I've got callers coming in, Ricky, okay? Settle the fuck down. Callers? You guys, do you wanna take a call? No. We're taking a call. From motherfuckers and callers right okay? Settle the fuck down. Callers? Do you want to take a call? No. We're taking a call. From motherfuckers that calling us right now? That's right, man. I got this set up on the laptop.

Blame. All right, here we go. Blame? Hello? Hey, what the fuck's up, man? Hey, what's up, man? What's up? This is Julian, man.

You fucking called me. Who do you think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, where is he? Where are you calling from, man? Where are you? Right on.

What? Chicago, man. We love it in Chicago. I've never seen you guys, man. When are you guys coming to Chicago? Chicago, man. We love it in Chicago. We've been there, fuck, two, three times. I don't tell you guys all the time. Does he got a fucking question, or are you just going to chit-chat with the man? I loved you in American Movie, bitch.

What's Buzz doing? He's here with me, man. How fucked up are you right now? You're talking like a million miles an hour, man. What kid's going bleep bleep? I got calls coming. Do you have a fucking question or what? What?

Hey, man, what's up? All right, man. We're coming. All right. Jucasa. Thanks, man. I'm hearing that. That was fucking exciting, guys.

Hello, hello. Hey, who the fuck is this? Where's fucking Daniel Nelson from Greensburg Trailer Park. What's going on? Where's that trailer park at? Where are you, in the States? Yeah, fucking America and Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, right on, man. You voting for Donald Trump?

Fuck no. No! Ask them if they got a question. Hey, do you got a question? Yeah, what's J-Rob's album question? That's a good question, motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? Albums, like, you know what I'm saying? Motherfuckers don't buy albums no more.

You know what I mean? No. Best thing a motherfucker can do is release a single. You know what I'm saying? Release a single 12 different times. You know what I'm saying? Instead of one album, it's the same thing. You know what I'm saying?

Yo, what's cracking, dog? How much books do you get in a week? How many days are there in a week, dog? Yeah, not that much, you know what I'm saying? But the odd time I do, I eat. I'm looking for that special lady, you know what I'm saying? To snack it up, flip it, rub it down, and put a ring on them shits, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Huh?

You know what I'm saying? I've been really busy in my day. All right, man. I know. Good luck. Good luck. The answer would have been seven, I guess. Unless it's a leap week. Leap week? How often is there a leap week, Ricky? Hello?

Hello? Yeah, who's this? Uh, this is Ben. Is this Ricky? No, this is Julian, you dumbass. Uh, this is Ben. Is this Ricky? No, this is Julian, dumbass. Oh, hey, Julian. Hey, what's going on, man? Where are you calling from?

I'm calling from, uh, California. California? Wow, you're fucking up early, man. All right, I got a question. Right on. Why is Ricky so fucked? Fucking cool, you mean? Or I don't really got a question. Right on. Why is Ricky so fucked? Fucking cool, you mean?

Or I don't really understand the question. No, Ricky, he's saying you're fucked. Like, why are you so fucked? I'm not fucked. I think I'm normal, and if you're not like me, then you're fucked. The answer is he's not fucked. He thinks you're fucked. Yeah, whatever, Ricky.

Go fuck yourself. All right. Go fuck yourself. I will be lying if I say that I haven't asked myself that question sometimes. Okay, just don't let anybody else answer. All right, just a second.

This is out of control, man. You guys think I'm fucked? Well, Rick, you do have, you've got some problems, man. What did you mean by fucked, Ricky? What does he mean I'm fucked? Like looking or? Just fucked in the head.

Like dumb. I think basically that's part of it. He's calling me a fucking dummy. And you do fucked up things. I mean, most times when you do things, you just react. You don't think about it. You know when Michael Jackson released an album called Bad, and everybody was like, bad mean good, you know what I'm saying?

I think like, fuck, you know what I'm saying? He mean like, you dope. I'm the shit, that's what I thought. I don't think so. I think, you know when you're walking down the street and you see somebody and you're like, look at that guy, he's fucked. Yeah, but I'm not fucking one of those guys on the street.

The guy who got my life together, got a fucking, some education, fucking good some education, fucking good family guy, good father, good grandfather. You just gotta, like, reclaim the word, dog.

You know what I'm saying? Start telling people that you fuck and mean it in a good way and see if it catch on, dog. Yeah, I'm fucked but in a good way. I'm fucked but in a good way. Well, you don't even need

to put it in a good way. Just say the first part, dog, but own it, you know what I mean? I am fucked. That's right. That's right. That's right. All right. Chukaza.

Thanks, man. All right. Should we take another call? I don't know that we should. Do you want to talk about some shit, or what do you guys want to do? Let's talk about some shit. We'll take another call in a bit. Let them, you know, let them percolate there.

How long y'all bitches been working on this podcast, like organizing it and shit? Well, we don't organize it, really. This podcast, what, 32, 33? Nobody knows and nobody cares. Yeah, we just don't care, man. I'm too fucked to care, I guess. I've been working very hard at it, J-Rock. You can tell, though.

Trying to organize things, but look what I'm dealing with. That's fair. You know, I try what I'm dealing with. That's fair. You know, I try to research things every week. Where's the shit? What do you got? Well, I knew you were doing it this time. And people seem to... I'm not the one taking the calls here. For some reason, people enjoy...

Who's taking the fucking calls here? I am. Because you got the free computer. Well, I'm still taking calls, aren't I? Who could give me the free computer? Who's talking to these fucking guys every week? Dealing with these guys. Getting money from them, yeah, you.

Yeah, there's been lots of money. Jucasa gave you a computer? Well, yeah, they kinda thought I was doing an alright job with this shit, so. Yeah, because he said he needs to keep track of all the things. I thought I just said we should do some calls. My fuckers be calling, huh?

Calling like a motherfucker. Let's take some masks. Take a mask, man. Let me talk to this man. All right. For fuck's sakes. Hey, what's cracking, dawg? It's your boy J-Ron.

Who this? What's up, dawg? Nothing. What's up with you, cuz? You already know who it is, man. He's over here in Buffalo, New York, man. I've been- You're repping B-town like a motherfucker.

That's what's real, you know what I'm saying? What's your question, Buffalo? Do y'all bitches hang in a Buffalo stance? I'm not a Buffalo. I'm a B-town. I'm a B-town. I'm a B-town. I'm a B-town. I'm a B-town. I'm a B-town. I'm a B-town. I'm' B-town like a motherfucker. That's what's real, you know what I'm sayin'?

What's your question, Buffalo? Do y'all bitches hang in a Buffalo stance up in that mouth? What's your question, bitch? Hey, you been waitin' this Skype line up for a day now and that's your question, dog? Motherfuckers, in 24 hours, I come up with a day now and that's your question, dog? Hell yeah. 24 hours to come up with a better question than that. I know.

Waiting in a Skype line, get on. Here's your moment to shine, bitch. He's like, hello. What you guys doing? Let me ask you something. You ever been arrested, dog? J-Rock, say what's up to my old man. What's your old man's name?

Sean. Is that like a S-H Sean or like a S-E Sean? Like a C-N or like a Sean? Or like S-H-A-U-N, S-H-A-W-N, you know what I'm saying? Because they all different Seans. Yeah, I'm here with that S-H-A shit. You know? You know, that S-H-A-W-N shit.

Oh, hang on a second. She's breaking up, man. Please! You were right. We shouldn't hang on a second. She's breaking up, man. Oh, please. You were right. We shouldn't have taken a call. That was why. Am I? Should I take a...

They're coming in like crazy. Let me take one more call. All right. Why the fuck ketchup chips are good for breakfast? Hey, what's your name, duh? My name is Double J. That's not a Christian name. You know what I'm saying?

What's it say on your driver's license, bitch? It doesn't say J-Rock. That's not a Christian name, you know what I'm saying? What's it say on your driver's license, bitch? It doesn't say J-Rock. That's for damn sure. That's right, because that name's taken, bitch. What's the double J stand for? Is that your titty size? J-J. It's double J.

Ricky wants to know if that's your titty size. Whoa, Ray. Oh, damn, Ricky. Where you come from, mask? I want to know how many kids you're going to have, J-Rock How many kids you got on the way, man? You know what I'm saying? If I can be honest with you right quick, you know what I'm saying?

I've been saving my load Because I'm waiting to meet that special lady, you know what I'm saying? And I want to impregnate that motherfucker like a dozen times, you know what I'm saying? Maybe even a baker's dozen times Because I want many J-Rocks running around, you know what I'm saying? But I'm waiting for the right donor, you know what I'm saying? Maybe even a baker's dozen times, because I want many J-Rocks running around, you know what I'm saying? But I'm waiting for the right donor, you know what I'm saying? I want my eggs tight. So what, the ones you have already are just like

testers? You're getting it ready for the real deal? They were like practice masks. You can do that? You can do that, dog, with the right attitude, you know what I'm saying? You can do whatever you want. You know what I'm saying? Like sometimes you can fire garbage in a dumpster, you know what I'm saying? And then they go you want. You know what I'm saying? Like sometimes you can fire garbage in a dumpster, you know what I'm saying?

And then they go and come collect. That's what happened to me. So what you gonna do? You've done the J-Rock vodka. Are you and T gonna get into promotion? Like you're gonna do a Jay-Z thing and promote some basketball stars or something? Double J, you sound like you trying to talk

like me a little bit. Is that what you doing, cuz? No, I'm not as white trying to talk like me a little bit. Is that what you're doing, cuz? No, I'm not as white as you, man. That's right. I'm a mayonnaise-colored mask right here, yeah! Hey, Double J, do me a favor, dog. What's that? Take care of that place.

Sure. What are you doing? You got to be right on there. I know, I know. Okay, I'm trying, man. All right, well, you got to talk about some things or you're just going to keep talking. It's like an exclamation mark, you know what I'm saying?? I'm trying, man. All right, well, you gotta talk about some things or you just gotta keep talking. It's like an exclamation mark, you know what I'm saying? When I'm like, please, that's when you hit the handle. I was trying to hit the fucking button.

I'm just passing. All right, okay, so we're not gonna... What are we doing here? Not taking any calls now? I don't have much, because I fucking obviously came up with these when I was super fucked. Yeah, there's not much here. Well, people seem to enjoy them, Ricky. That's why I don't bother doing it anymore.

People on the Internet say, oh, let Ricky come up with the stories, because he's fucked. This one scared the fuck out of me. The UFO hunters believe they spotted a fossilized remains of a T-Rex in a NASA photo on Mars. That's kind of scary that dinosaurs were on Mars.

Bull fucking shit. Well, it wouldn't be a T-Rex. I have to get that straight right now. Can I ask you something, Ricky, right quick? Yes. How would a T-Rex. I have to get that straight right now. Can I ask you something, Ricky, right quick? Yes. How would a T-Rex have gotten to Mars, dog? Well, we don't know much about the fucking dinosaurs. Maybe they were traveling around in space.

They could have been smarter than us. They're a lot bigger, bigger brains. Maybe they had fucking dinosaur ships. Holy fuck, man. Ricky. You've taken the whole alien thing up a few notches now. So the aliens are actually fucking dinosaurs that have huge ships. Or maybe they were fucking pets.

Pets? Big giant aliens that were smart as fuck that did have spacecraft, took their pets on them with vacation to Mars, and forgot to, just like leaving your dog at the fucking park. Is that a common thing, Ricky? People forget. They take their dog to the park and then forget him? Leave him there and then he becomes fossilized in the ground?

Small dogs. How could you forget him, my fucking dinosaur dog? If you were super big and the dinosaur was only the same size as a cat, it's to us. Like, Monica, we all packed? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I got your bathing suit. I, anything we forget? No, I don't think so.

You get on your spaceship and you're like, oh fuck, where's the dinosaur at? Fuck, where's Tiny Arms? Ricky, there's no fucking way. Is that what you would name your dinosaur, if you had one? Well, it's just as good as Rex. Yeah, it is as good as Rex.

Yeah, it is as good as Rex. Tiny arms. Should we take another call? T.A. You're just, why are you so, are you getting paid per call or something?

Probably. Why are you so excited to take calls? Because I, people are calling me off my laptop, man. It's pretty cool. Hello?

Is that Ricky and Julian? It sure is, man. And you got Bubbles here and J-Rock. You got a question, man? I heard that J-Rock was on. I've jumped through rings of shit to get on the phone with you guys tonight. Thank you. I'm calling from South Korea.

It's night out here. Holy fuck. You're in South Korea? Holy fuck. Are you an English-teaching motherfucker? I am an English-teaching motherfucker. Reppin' SK, where you from, dog? Are you from Canada originally? I wish I was, but shout out to all the beans from Antigonish, Nova Scotia.

Yeah! Nice. That's pretty close. Shout out to the rock pile, too, man. Thanks, man. So why do they have rings of shit over there? Yo, I got a money-making scheme for y'all motherfuckers. I don't know if you're ready to hear it. Yeah, man, I'm ready.

Listen, I think you should do a Broadway production, and J-Rock should produce. Bubbles can do the music, of course. Ricky can dance around and do some, I don't know, I don't know what the fuck Ricky can do. Smoke a bunch of joint. Pretty much anything. Hey, speaking of tiny arms, dog, you ever go to North Korea? See that mask?

That tiny arm mask with the Clooney haircut? Circa ER? I wish I would've. That missile-firing bitch? He's thalidomide-looking with his candy, ain't he? He is.

Don't start a war with fucking... No. I'm just starting a war of words, dog. You know what I'm saying? That's my verbal shoving match.

All right, okay. We don't want him aiming his missiles at us, though. All right, the Broglie thing's not gonna happen, and I don't know how to dance, so...

And it's not a scam. That's not a money-making scam. That sounds like hard work. That's a huge production, man. Are you fucking kidding me? Hey, what's the first word in English you teach them masks anyway? Six, seven hundred dollars.

What's the first English word you teach them little masks? Motherfucker. How do you say motherfucker in Korean? Shibaseki. Yeah, shibaseki, yeah! Yeah! Shibaseki mask, pisso shibaseki.

That's when you hang up right quick. That's what I did. Pisso shibaseki, that's how you say it in South Korea. Pisso shibaseki. That means motherfuckers. Yup. That's what fuckers. Mother fucker? Yup. That's what it means, Ricky. What do you got on your big yellow card there, Ricky?

Uh... I don't really have much. There was some birds that were flying in a majestic penis formation. Some peregrine falcons. It was kinda cool. There was a big cock and balls. It's all over the internet. Guess it's not real exciting. You would have liked it though, Bubz. You like cock-shaped clouds and cock-shaped pictures. I don't like cock-shaped clouds.

Nutscapes. You're a big fan of those. I don't even know what a nutscape is. We've talked about it. Is it like when a mountain range looks like an upside-down nutsack? No, it's like you're taking a picture of, you know, whatever that might be, mountains or whatever, and you put your balls in the shot. You shoot through your legs and hang your balls into the shot.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. You've seen them. I don't think I have. What's it called? Nutscape? Nutscapes. Instead of something. Ricky, why are you looking at balls on the internet, man? That's a good question, Ricky. Why aren't you looking at... I'm not looking at fucking...

Men's balls. Balls.com. I'm looking at fucking these other pictures. You don't really know... Well, you must have typed in something like... Sneaked in there. A man's nutsack or something, and that came up. Somebody sent it to me.

I think it was Bubbles. I didn't send you a picture of a man's balls, Ricky. But clearly you have them and you use them. And it's totally cool, man. If that's what you want to do, Ricky, we support you, man. What do I want to do? Take pictures of things and put my nuts in the pictures? Is that what I want to do?

Go for it, man. No, you dog is probably a nut scrape because you'd probably fall down on your joint. Nut scrape. Get it? I get it now. Yeah. You didn't get it at first? No, I didn't. Nut scrape. Get it? I get it now. Yeah. You didn't get it at first?

No, I didn't. Not scrape. That was great, man. Great fucking... Great stories? Well, how about this one? This one's not bad. Guy robbed a bank with a sex toy. Had to plead guilty. He fucking invested some money for his honeymoon.

Aaron Steen, or S-T-E-I-N. Doesn't matter, really? He invested some money for his fucking honeymoon. He lost his money, so he fucking panicked, and he got some phone wires, some duct tape, and a sex toy, and he fucking put it all together and robbed the bank with it. Give me some fucking money or I'm blowing everybody up. Are you fucking kidding me?

What a way to die, getting covered in fucking cock. Well, it wasn't... I mean, I guess it wasn't real. It wasn't actually going to blow up, Ricky. Was it? No, I guess it was fake. Yeah, you're right. Anyway, it's a fucked up thing to do.

It's pretty dumb. If you're going to rob a bank, you should have a real weapon, at least. Same fucking problem. Same charges. You to rob a bank, you should have a real weapon, at least. Same fucking problem. Same charges. You've robbed a bank. But when you think about, like, this is a stick-up, you know what I'm saying? That kind of makes sense, though, right? Like, you're going to stick up.

Yeah, because he could say, I wasn't actually robbed. I just said, this is a stick-up. And I was showing that this is where you stick this in the thing. Right in the hood. It's more like, this is a stick-in. You know what I'm saying? He'll be telling you, like, this is a stick-in. Right in the hoo-hoo. It's more like, there's a stick in. You know what I'm saying? There's a stick in. It's a stack up. The hoo-hoo.

Oh, like, right. Hey, who the fuck is this? Hello? Who? Hey. Who? Fanny Beck. Fanny Beck? How? Who? Fanny Beck. Fanny Beck. Oh, it's Fanny Beck. Fanny Beck.

How you doing, Fanny Beck? I'm good. I'm not too bad, thank you. I've got a wordy a minute. I've got tons of items. Oh, fuck. And you've got a thick fucking accent, too. We probably shouldn't be talking to you.

I've got what? A thick fucking accent. That was terrible. That was a A thick fucking accent. That was terrible. That's a proud Yorkshire accent. That is a proud sounding accent. You got a question? To be quite honest with you, no. I just thought I'd give you a call because I'm bored at work.

Oh, okay. J-Rock's here. Say hi to J-Rock. Hey, what's up, Fanny Pack? Hey, J-Rock. How you doing, tighty? How you doing? So, Fanny Pack, is this J-Rock. How you doing, Tidy? How you doing? So, Fanny Pack, is this the Fanny Pack that I called a dumb cunt during Dear Julian?

It absolutely is. All right, I'm going to apologize to you right now again. You called her a dumb cunt? I thought it was a dude I was talking to. Man, I was fucked. Hey, where do you work, Fanny Pack? Sorry? Where do you work that you're so bored, Tidy?

Where do I work? Yeah, so bored, Tidy? Where do I work? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, where do you work? Because you say you were bored at your work. Are you in a cubicle with your candy? Yeah, I'm bored at work. I'm a security officer. I'm on shift.

What type of environment, you know what I'm saying, are you providing security to? Um, I can't really... I can't really say, to be honest. The Queen? Yeah, clearly you can't say, because if somebody really say, to be honest. The queen? Yeah, clearly you can't say it because if somebody knew, they'd go rob the fucking place right now because you're just, you know, talking on the goddamn internet. I hope you're not guarding the Yorkshire puddings. Hey, I used to be an insecurity guard, but I don't think I was very good at it, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Okay, well, we got to get questions if she doesn't have questions. I'm going to get questions. All right, Bubbles, do you ever get lonely in your shed on the night on your own? No, I don't get lonely. I've got, you know, kitties with me usually. I've got TV. I've got everything I need.

I don't get lonely. She's not talking about that kind of lonely. Like, lonely for some... Yeah, no, I'm not talking about that kind of lonely. Some shagging. No, I don't. I do all kinds of that stuff. Believe me. With yourself? By yourself, bubs?

I'm just gonna... I was just gonna offer to come over and keep you comfortable, that's all. I play guitar. I'm into space. I like nature and kitties and stuff, that's all. There you go, bro. Do you fancy clotted cream? Sorry? Do you fancy clotted cream?

Say it. I have no idea what you're saying. That's pretty good. Is it like a delicacy, you know what I'm saying, from the southwest region of England, you know what I'm saying, from like Devon and Cornwall, you know what I'm saying?

Cornish pasties from Cornwall, you know what I'm saying? Did y'all bitches not take grade four geography? I'm from Yorkshire. No. Yorkshire puddings. You should get her over here, Bubz, then you wouldn't need your jack vac. Ricky, I don't have a fucking jack vac! Alright, Bubbles, we'll definitely hang out with you some night.

You said that right on the air. Now people are gonna think I'm in my shed with a jack vac. Well, they can cut it out. Awesome. Well, make a trip. Buy a plane ticket. Come over here. Jump on bubbles. Get your Heathrow on, Fanny Pack. I will do. Well, I do remember Julian on one of the Ask Julian's

actually invited me over to the park. Alright. There you go. I was kind of hoping that he'd buy me a ticket. Me buy you a ticket? You invited me over to the park. There you go I was kind of hoping That he'd buy me a ticket Me buy you a ticket? You didn't probably know It was a box There you go Hey Fanny Pack

Look behind you Someone's robbing the joint You know what I'm saying? Peace Yeah Peace If you want to If you want to buy me a ticket

And send it over then Like okay When I'm doing those Fucking things Those Dear Julie things I don't know like Where these people Where you guys are from

I don't know if you're A girl or a guy half the time. It doesn't matter. Because it's like Fennate Beck. I think you have to pay for it. I've got no money. You're getting money from these Chukasa dicks. All right, okay.

What a dick. Talk to you later. You got to work on your disses, though. I know, man. You can't just say talk to you later or hang up. I'd like to be a gentleman, okay? I'm not gonna start... Aren't you the one who called her a dumbass

the next Tuesday? I called her a dumb cunt. By mistake. That's so gentlemanly. And they say chivalry's dead with candy. I thought it was a dude, man. And dudes start whining, oh, my life is horrible.

So is that how you call a dude that C-word? I thought it was a dude, yeah. Dude. Not a chick. Not her. When is gentleman school? You know what I'm saying? I wanna be the first to sign up with my dude. Yeah, dude. Not a chick. Not her. When is gentlemen's school? You know what I'm saying? I want to be the first to sign up with my king.

J-Rock, just let's talk about something else. Sure. What do you think the most Googled porn term in the United States of America is? Cats. Nope. T-Rex. No, that's a good one. Tiny arms?

Pussy. Pussy. It's got to be pussy. Nope. Spooning? I'll arms? Pussy. Pussy. It's got to be pussy. No. Spooning? I'll give you a hint. Two women. Sisters.

No, that's a good one, though. It's a weird one, but I guess it's a good one. Twins. Twins. Lesbian. Lesbian. All lesbian. Stepsister was second.

Stepmom, third. MILF. And if you're in Rhode Island, yeah, MILF. And cartoon. Cartoon? Cartoon. That's a pretty fucking searched word for porn sex in the United States. People are into cartoon.

Anime. Anime. Are you serious? Excuse me, dog. Did you say Rhode Island? Yeah, people in Rhode Island, they like MILF. That's their favorite. What's MILF stand for?

I don't know. Mom, I'd like to... Yeah. I guess technically it's Mom, I'd like to... MILF. MILF. So what's a GILF? A grandma, I'd like to...

Or a grandpa, I'd like to... What's a GILF? A great-grandmother, I'd like to fwank. Or a grandpa I'd like to fwank. What's a g-gelf? A great-grandmother I'd like to fwank. What's a g-g-g-g-gelf? It's a great-great-great-great-great-grandmother I'd like to fwank. No, it isn't. It's a gelf that Max Headroom wants to do it with. A g-g-g-g-gelf. Pubs, you're on it today.

Max Headroom. Get it? G-g-g-g-g-gelf. It it today. Max Headroom. Get it? G-g-g-g-g-g-gilf. It's a timely Max Headroom reference, too, ain't it? Yeah. Has that motherfucker ever been hotter than he is right now? Yeah, he's coming back. Is he?

With a vengeance. He should. He was fucking cool. Yeah. I like him. I don't even really know what he is, but I think he was cool. He was a half-man, half-robed. He was annoying, guys. He was a half man, half robot. He was annoying, guys.

He was a half robot. He was an asshole. Oh, more callers coming in. What the fuck am I going to do about this, man? Are you going to take them, or do you want to talk about more things? What do you want to do? I'll take a call. Who this?

J-Rock. What do you want to do? I'll take a call. Who this? Genevox. What your name is for real, dog? Nah, I'm just playing. It's Damon. What's up? Damon? Yeah. What's up, Vitamin D? How you feeling, dog?

Feeling pretty icy, dog. What's up with you? How's it going out in the park? My game's tight, you know what I'm saying? Where you calling from, Mavs? Yeah! What's in Western New York? Like Rochester with its candy?

Did you come through Buffalo? Yes, we did. You're the second Mav to call from New York State, what? Yeah, we're sitting here in Buffalo, sitting in a row of Chiefs, you know, joint full of Chiefs. Go out, enjoy the nice day out. Do you have a cockatoo sitting there with you?

What's up? I thought I heard a cockatoo in the background going, what? Do you have a cockatoo sitting with you? Yeah Do they have a question are we just gonna chat with these all right you guys got a question Yeah, man This is Julian. Good, good, man, good.

He's the rich guy with the funny hair, right? And apparently he's got a big cock. Or he claims to. Or his cock works right. Wasn't there some shit about that? I don't know, Ricky. What do you guys think of him? I don't know.

I think he's kind of a fucking idiot. You know, I think he's kind of fucked. His hair's kind of weird, you know? He always walks out with that fat guy, you know? Probably takes his shirt off when he's getting real greasy. Yeah, he probably does take his shirt off when he's getting greasy. All right, you know, the thing is,

he is kind of fucked, but the guy is a great businessman. He's made a ton of cash. I respect that. Don't know if he's going to run the country that well when he does become president, because I think it's going to happen, man. He did go bankrupt once,

though, didn't he? Three times. Fucking right, man. If guys are businessmen yourselves. You know, you make money. You do little grease projects, you know. Fucking right, man. If I became the president like him, there'd be all kinds of greasy shit getting set up. You know what I'm saying? You ready for the hang up?

All right, man. You sleep piece. Buffalo, out the door, dog. That was good, man. See, that's how J-Rock keeps it moving, right? Y'all sit there and just chat with somebody. Donald Trump's a tiny-handed motherfucker. And somebody was like, your hand's so tiny. He was like, don't worry, dog.

My horn's still tight. Yeah, that's what he said. He said, yeah, I know what you're getting at, but guess what? I got a big weapon on me. My horn's still tight. But it works good, or does he claim to have a big... He's got some kids, man, so it definitely works all right. I don't know about now.

I wonder if that motherfucker's hair down there is, like, the same as the hair on the head, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, what do they say? Like, do your hair stop? Does the carpet match the drapes, or what is it? I forget what they say about that. They say that about women, Ricky, not about Donald Trump. And I doubt he has a little toupee on his bird,

if that's what you're asking. Because, you know, that thing's not real. He's saying it's real, man. He says his hair's real. Fucking rice he does. That's what he says. Somebody grabbed it. Who fucking grabbed his hair?

Your mother. Man, you want to fly here? I'm fucking slaying them today, boys. Firing pearls at everybody. Well, it's been interesting. Okay, are we done now? Hey, TJ hit me on the hip, y. Yeah. Firing pearls at everybody. Well, it's been interesting. Okay, are we done now? Hey, T, just hit me on the hip, y'all. I gotta juice like I'm out. Yeah.

You out, J-Rock? You got some? Peace out, Ricky. I'm gone, my kid. Blop, blop, Gilles. Thanks for coming by, J-Rock. Thanks for sucking it. Alright, we're done, boys. That's fucking bullshit. What?

You making a fucking side deal with him? I'm not. Boys, I'm sorry. You probably made an extra $200 or $300 today, I'm guessing. I didn't make that much, okay? How much then? I'm the one doing all the fucking work. Yeah, who buys this shit? Me.

Okay? You didn't buy that. I bought that. Who made this little fucking display? Me. Yeah, but they probably gave you a budget. Well, things aren't going that great, man. I don't think they're gonna be fucking, you know,

sponsoring us anymore because you guys are fucked. I guess we'll have to talk about some of this other stuff another time, guys. Next time. Is there gonna be a next time? Because I was fucking terrible. Yeah, there's gonna be a next week. Next week, there's gonna be one. Didn't get to talk a next time? Yeah, there's going to be a next week.

Next week, there's going to be one. Didn't get to talk about the Scooby-Doo vans and the high-speed chase. Fucking crazy glass slide. A Scooby-Doo van? What? It was a fucking woman who had her van painted like a Scooby-Doo van. A mystery machine. High-speed chase.

She fucking got away. Now what are you looking for? The mystery machine? See, this is the problem with your stories, okay? This is the problem with your stories, okay? Now what are you looking for? You fucking say, you mentioned the Scooby-Doo van, but we don't see it, so who gives a fuck? Well, I was going to get you to pull it up, maybe. Or you could draw it. I could have drawn it. You guys fucking draw your shit.

And a big glass slide in L.A. Fuck, it looks pretty cool, but whatever. Who gives a fuck, I guess. A thousand feet up in the air, a ton of glass. Looks like you're gonna fucking die. I give a fuck. Great podcast, guys. Great one. Well, I was just getting going and you now, Julian, left. I can't stop smoking this fucking thing. Fuck!

I won't. I'm out of vodka. I won't. I'm out of vodka. Don't fucking cry, boss. Are you serious? What's wrong? Nothing. I'm not crying. Don't pick your nose, either. You're still on camera. Love you, buddy. Thank you.