Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 33 - New Year, New Orleans!

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

Ricky, Julian and Randy had an awesome holiday blow-out... but did Randy get lucky? Ricky reports on the most f**ked-up news stories of 2022, and the Boys raise a glass to rally star Ken Block. Plus: The Boys get ready to party at Fan EXPO New Orleans this weekend!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Holy fuck. All right, boys. Yeah. This is gonna be a good one. Is it? Well, I'm gonna be the host today since Bubbles isn't here. Hey, listen.

It's 2023 right now. I think I'm going to be a little bit nicer to people these days. Well, I'm going to try to be a little bit nicer. All right. I'll start off being nice, but it's going to be a very quick switch. It's the power of positive thinking. If he does anything or says anything, it's not perfect. Okay.

Just don't let them bug you. Hi, Randy. How you doing, buddy? I'm great, Julian. Welcome to Perk After Dark. It's celebration of life week. So I'm celebrating being alive. It's January the 6th, and we gotta make this quick because we are

going to New Orleans for this evening. For this evening? What the fuck was that? It this evening. For this evening? For this evening. What the fuck was that? It's English. For this evening. Yeah.

We are going to New Orleans. We're going to Florida to get seed. And you know what? I actually, I wish you were kind of coming with us, Randy. I do not. Because you could help us out when we're there. What state is that in? New Orleans.

Yeah. The fuck do you think, Randy? I don't even know. You don't know? New Orleans. Yeah. The fuck do you think, Randy? I don't even know. You don't know? I don't know. It's down Louisiana, right? There you go. Okay.

Fuck, you're stupid. But you know what? People do make that mistake, so, you know, it's not that bad, Randy. Is that the place that's got the levees or whatever? The dikes and stuff? Like it's got a low... Yes. Yeah.

Are you guys going to check it out? We're not going to check out the fucking dikes. I don't think we'll have much time to check it out. We're going to check out the fucking Bourbon Street. Mardi Gras, fucking capital of the fucking world, Randy. That sounds like fun. That sounds like a really good time. I'm pretty sure you can take your drinks in cabs and walk around the streets.

Walk around with them? Just drink your face off? A little different here. You do that here, you get arrested, which is bullshit! That's good, Julian. You always have a drink, so you won't get in any trouble. Well, I do like that place, man. I feel like I'm at home when I'm there. I can't believe it's 2023. I can still remember when it turned 2-0-0-0. And that seemed like not that long ago. That wasn't a show that Bubbles

used to always watch. Space 2000 and... No, that was 2001 Space Odyssey, wasn't it? There's that other one, that moon fucking show. Space 1999 or... What the fuck was it? I think that's what it was. Yeah. Mooncocks?

That was a Mooncocks. Mooncresta. That was a game. Anyway, we're 2023, boys. I mean, this is going to be the year that we're going to make some money. I hope so, man. This is the year, man. I'm telling you.

Well, I'm not getting a raise, I don't think. What? Because you don't really do much. Yes, I do. What do you do? What do you like? What do you... There's a lot to run in the do. What do you do? What do you like? What do you do? There's a lot to run in the park.

What are your big plans for Sunnyvale for 2023? We're getting a new gate. It was approved by Barb and the budget. That's exciting. A new gate is very handy. An electric gate or what? It's not electric, but it's got... So it's an annoying piece of shit gate.

It does have lights on it this time, so people won't crash through it as much. Well, that's going to last long, Randy. I give that gate lasting three days. Why? Because you get people like fucking Bubbles. All of a sudden, he's got the shits, and he's like, fuck, get me home, boys.

You think we'd stop at a fucking gate? We'd go right through the gate. I'm just saying. Two days, man. I bet you a hundred bucks. Yeah. So go on. Well, maybe you should go build your gate right now, maybe, huh? Sounds good. No, I'm gonna wait.

I'm gonna wait till spring. Okay, alright. It's best time to build things. So what are you gonna do's the best time to build things. So what are you going to do in the meantime? Well. Fuck all? No, no, no. I have to get my lists ready.

Lists of what? Agenda. Agenda? Yeah. Shouldn't you have made that last year? Well, normally, Ricky, I do, but I got a little bit fucked up over the holidays. The honey bomb was working. It was working good, and that dope that you gave me was insane.

Did you get banged over the holiday season rant? Julian, I only make love. I don't bang. Okay, did you make any money at the drive-thru then? I did not do that this year. That's the past. Okay, are you going to hit the drive-thru to make money any time this year, do you think? No, I don't think I'll be doing that. Somebody said they saw an ad for you in Back Pages, whatever that is.

That was probably for another person that looked like me. There's a lot of guys that look like me out there. All right. And what's Back Pages? I don't know. I think it's where you find dirty stuff. Dirty stuff. You don't.

You know what back pages are. Don't give me that shit, Randy. I know what the back pages are. You're plastered all over the fucking back pages. Really? Yes. Superstar. That's nice.

Fucking the superstar. The super sucker. We are starting a new year, so one thing I saw going through my smart box was the top four weird news stories of 2022. Right on.

Let's hear them, man. Man marries triplets in the Congo. Lucky fucker. Is he lucky? No, you're right. The triplets I mean, it could be,

but it'd be weird for the triplets, I would think. Why? No, I think it'd be weirder for a dude wouldn't it i'm not if they're all in bed together and sisters well yeah that's i don't know do you think they're actually hooking up and having like a foursome though i don't know triplets and the dude man i don't know a lot of people think about that but that's kind of weird, man. You've got sisters on sisters. You'd have to get, I don't know, times now must be too much.

You've got to service all three of them every day. Blindfolds. Are they identical triplets? I don't know. They're still triplets. I'm going to take a guess and say yes. So Buddy married three sisters. Correct.

I think we talked about it. I can't remember. I know we talked about this next one. The groom exposes... Let's go back to the triplets. How many times is this guy banging in a day? Think about it. It's enlisted.

Well, he's banging at least three times a day. You would think. I would say it's more than that. I'm going to say the minimum is six. That sounds like too much, I think. Maybe each sister, maybe one sister does a week, and then the next sister does another week, and then they alternate.

They have a schedule meeting. Right? No, man. No, no, you don't. You don't take a fucking week off of being horny, Randy. When you want to get banged, you want to get banged. I'm not going to say, well, I'm going to see you next week, huh? No.

This is the way my brain's working right now. Okay. Riddle me this. If they're identical twins, do they get the monthly visitor at the same time? They sure fucking do, man. I'd say they would. Fuck. Because they're identical, man.

Science, man. That does happen. They all link up. Wow. Unless they're pregnant. It. Science, man. That does happen. They all link up. Wow. Unless they're pregnant. It's really alien-like, though, isn't it? You what? If they're pregnant, they won't then.

Because it stops. Oh, fuck. You think? No, I know. Randy, I'm trying not to fucking lose it on you right now. I learned it in health class. Because, I mean, I do have my grade 11, Julian. And I learned it in grade 9 health. I thought you only had class because, I mean, I do have my grade 11, Julian, and I learned it

in grade 9 health. I thought you only had your grade 5. Yeah, I thought it was grade 5. That's a rumor, Ricky. People just starting bad rumors about me.

They were all Ds in grade 5, I heard. No, that's not true. All right. The next one we talked about, the groom exposes cheating wife sex video at their wedding.

That's a doozy. You think, like, why go through it and spend all the money? Just because you're fucking pissed off. Think about it, man. I'm going to embarrass the shit out of you for the rest of your life. You gotta fucking, must be a good actor. That's a dick move, though, I think.

I'm on the fence. You don't put everybody in. You don't make everyone come from miles away and stuff. Better made her think twice about cheating again. Well, she's probably with the other dude. Did they get married? That I don't remember. I know we talked about it.

Boy, that's... Number three, couple caught having sex at the Toronto Blue Jays game. Yeah, I heard about that. That's kind of hot. There's a lot of people banging at the fucking baseball games, old man. There's got to be. I remember years ago when the Sky Dome first opened, they had a close-up with a cup of banging right against the glass.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure a lot of banging goes on at different sporting events. I mean, there's definitely a lot of jacking going on. Really? Yeah, man. I can't imagine going to a game and jacking. It's a weird one. Did you see this guy fucking... I've never jacked at a game and jacking. It's a weird one. Did you see this guy fucking?

I've never jacked at a game. Never. What about a movie? Yeah, I never won. Well, there you go. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I saw two people banging at a football game. All right, if there was a really hot pitcher fucking pitching the game and you had a major crush on him and you were, like,

right down by the dugouts, there's nobody, like, beside you or behind you. You'd be jacking it off. Julian, I only do that in private. That's it. Bullshit. You don't just go to a baseball field and start jacking. You are filthy dirty, and you can't fucking tell me otherwise. It's not true.

You are a dirty motherfucker. Although baseball players do look quite handsome in their tight little uniforms. See, there we go. You had a not true. You are a dirty motherfucker. Although baseball players do look quite handsome in their tight little uniforms. See, there we go. You had a few drinks, you smoked a joint, you'd be jacking off behind the pitch. What do you like better, baseball players or football players? I like baseball. Or lacrosse players.

Football players get those skin-tight little uniforms. Yeah, but there's too much protective clothing for them to really see everything. What about soccer? Soccer, they're... Well, the soccer's nice, but... Do you like when they score a goal and rip their shirt off?

Of course. I think shirts should always just be taken off anyway, personally. Makes sense. If we didn't wear shirts, there'd be less laundry. You wouldn't have to match. What sport do you think has the hottest fucking athletes? Whatever sport you play, Julian. Don't, no, hey.

Walked into that one. No, no, no, no, no. What sport do you play? Bodybuilding. You're a, no, no, no. Do you play pickleball? Shut the fuck up. Hide the pickleball.

All right, Randy, you know what? I'm trying my best not to fucking duct tape your head. I'm just teasing you. All right, number four. I'm teasing you. These are weird stories, but I thought there'd be some weirder shit than this. Number four was a restaurant sues a customer that tried to take back a $3,000 tip. That's a big tip.

What, he tipped him and then said, no, that's too much? He left $3,000 tips and That's a big tip. But he tipped them and then said, no, that's too much. He left $3,000 tip, said tips for Jesus on this bill. And then a month later we got his credit card, Steve, he's like, what the fuck? So he went down to the restaurant and said, no, I want my three grand back. And they're like, no. The waiter's name was Jesus?

Tips for Jesus. Like in Jesus is the guy, Jesus. I guess. Or Jesus. Like in Jesus is the guy? Jesus? I guess. Or Jesus. Don't know. It's a weird one. If it's Jesus the guy, man. But if you leave a tip, yeah, maybe Jesus was working at the restaurant.

Nah, well, it depends on what Jesus you're talking about here, man. He came back and wanted to work at a restaurant. So he rose again from the dead. Only to work in a kitchen. A denny's. Some fucking denny's. Where he's getting $3,000 tips.

Yeah, well. I mean, there's something too. You could probably rope into a lot of people like, I bet you we could make it with a bit of makeup,

you know, the proper fucking grooming. You could look like Jesus. Me? Yeah. And we could make a lot of money off you, man. I thought Jesus,

yeah. Longer hair. I mean, in the lot of money off you, man. I thought Jesus, yeah. Longer hair. I mean, it's just a wig, fucking grow. I don't know what, Jesus have a fucking beard and stuff? Oh, yeah. Okay, get that going. You could look like Jesus, man. I bet you we could make money off of you.

I'm in. Okay. All right. I'm going to think about that a little bit more. I leave $3,000 tips every day. Fucking lunatics do, man. And there's a lot of rich lunatics out there that believe in Jesus or want to meet Jesus or hang out with him, you know. Yeah.

I don't know. You could just put up some posters on telephone poles. Come meet Jesus. Exactly. That would work. $100 to get in, and then we'll discuss how much to talk. We could have a barbecue, too. A glass of wine for $8.

Jesus and wine package. Meat, Jesus. Jesus, wine, and cheese package. Wine and bread, I guess. Get wine and a burger. I'll cook some burgers. Wine and a baguette. Five minutes with Jesus.

You could make a lot of fucking money, man. Five minutes is too long. Think about those fucking quacks. That guy, what's that guy? That gym guy, whatever, Tammy lot of fucking money, man. Five minutes is too much. Think about those fucking quacks, that guy, what's that guy, that gym guy, whatever, Tammy Faye.

Oh, yeah. They made a lot of money, man. And touching would be extra, too. Do you want a hand? Touch it. Do you want a hug? Get tweaked by Jesus.

Tweaked? Okay, now we're talking. 3,000 bucks. Jesus Christ. Well, maybe you could also. 3,000 bucks. Jesus Christ. Well, maybe you could also turn it into a garage. Jesus will change your tires. Shut up, Randy. That's stupid.

That's like, what are you talking about? A garage? Yeah. It goes from getting diddled by Jesus. Why would you want Jesus to change your fucking tires? Well, we were talking about restaurants and having wine and cheese and stuff. Why not spice it up?

Why not get your tires fucking changed? Everyone has a car, Julian. Why would Jews, like, Jesus wouldn't hang out at, like, a Jiffy Lube, Randy. You gotta go somewhere. You need a bar. I can see the slogan now.

I'm changing tires for God. That's right, because it protects people. Get your tires changed with Jesus. I mean, there's a lot of money, man. Pets and Jesus. Two big fucking money makers. People do like their pets, Julian. This was a fucked up one.

This woman in Houston, Texas. This was right before the holidays. Ironically, her name is Christmas. She was working at Smoothie King, got fired, and she's like, no, fuck this. Went in. She had her 15-year-old daughter with her, too. Kidnapped the fucking boss.

Took her to an ATM and made her withdraw money and said, you're not ruining my Christmas, bitch. Got in a big fight. Teenage daughter's like, mom, what are you doing? She's like, this bitch is not ruining our Christmas. So she kidnapped her, took her to a couple banks, got her to withdraw money. Wow.

That's fucking hardcore. See, at times like that, you probably wish, you probably wish, maybe I should have thought about this fucking plan a little bit longer. I should have left my daughter home at least. Yeah, maybe I just ruined everybody's Christmas. Ah, slightly. What?

Okay, let's go back to the Smoothie King. Who fucking names their business Smoothie King? Like, that's a ripoff of Burger King, don't you think? I'm the Smoothie King. Come up with something a little bit fucking cool. No, there's a few others. Isn't there a Muffler King, too? Something?

A Muffler King? I don't know, there could be. It's a weird movie. Transmission King? I don't fucking know, Randy. I'm just saying Smoothie King's kinda fucked. Wow, did you see the movie, the Christmas Vacation movie?

Yes. No. You never seen it? Yes. Who hasn't? Well, the boss got kidnapped by the buddy's brother, the guy that emptied his shitter down the friggin' drains. Yeah. That's so...

He went kind of nuts there. That guy lost his fucking mind. He lost his mind in real life, too, Randy. Did he? Yes, he did. That's terrible. That was his name, wasn't it, Randy? Randy Quaid.

He moved to Canada for a bit. He moved with his wife. Both, that's terrible. That was his name, wasn't it, Randy? Randy Quaid. Yeah. He moved to Canada for a bit with his wife. Both of them were crazy. Canada kicked him out. Canada said, get the fuck out of here, bud, because you were fucked. Oh, wow. Then he sent some sex video.

Didn't he put out a sex video? Of himself? Him and his wife or him and his girlfriend? Hey. That would have been him and his wife, probably. So I guess the moral is, is don't kidnap your boss. It's probably not going to end well. Especially if your name's Christmas. You got your daughter with you.

Yeah, that's a really fucked story, man. I mean, really. She's working at fucking Smoothie King. I can't imagine they pay a ton of money. It's not like, why would she be that upset? It's kind of a blessing. That's right. No, she was just, you know what?

She was just dumb. That's her problem. She's just a fucking dummy. Ah, Julia. Oh, my God. This was really good. This was awesome. It was the last one in Texas?

Yeah, it was. This was awesome in Texas. Two guys one in Texas? Yeah, it was. This was awesome in Texas. Two guys were driving. They were so fucking high. They called the cops and said, someone's following us. No. So fucking paranoid.

I guess they were high as fucking crystal meth. So the cops said, well, pull into such and such a place. And they're like, no, we're too paranoid. Someone's following us bad. We're pulling over right now on the side of the highway. Come help us. So the cops went to help them.

They had 129 pounds of weed in their car. Wow. Oh, my fuck. And there was nobody following them. Yeah, I don't think even Corey and Jacob would do something stupid like that. No, that's pretty fucked up. Like, you have that much weed in your car, you don't get so fucked up. Let's put 129 pounds of weed in our car, and let's do crystal meth, and then we'll see what happens.

That's not going to end up, it's not going to end well. And it's not legal in Texas either, right? No. I don't think 129 pounds of weed in your car is legal anywhere, man. That's probably one of the worst states, though, to get caught with that. Well, Ricky could say it was personal, you know. They're all individually wrapped in one-pound chunks. One-pound baggies.

How big is one pound, Ricky? 454 grams. But I mean size. Like, is it, yeah? Like a football? Isn't it a Ziploc bag? It's not huge. It's a big Zi mean size. Like, is it, yeah? Like a football? Isn't it Ziploc bag? It's not huge. It's a big Ziploc.

Yeah, man. It's not going to be that much money, actually. The car must have smelled nice. I just, yeah, that's a bad fuck-up. The cops must have been like, Jesus, this is the easiest fucking drug bust ever. They called us. How much time did they get in jail?

They haven't been sentenced yet. It just happened. This was December 30th, right before New Year's Eve. See, people fucked up on Crystal Mass. And they do shit like that. Should they go to jail or should they go to some fucking rehab? That's the problem, right? There's too many people in jail.

That's bad. I would say rehab, but fuck, it's going to be tough to get out of 129 pounds. I guess you just say it wasn't theirs. Nah, you're not going to get away with this in your car. I don't know, we pull into Walmart and somebody must have put it in my trunk. True, that could happen. Somebody put it in my trunk at Walmart. It'd be pretty rare.

Wow, the old fucking put-in of Walmart at the fence, huh? See, what you got to do, if you're going to do that, you borrow a car from somebody, and maybe someone you kind of don't like. You borrow their car, you do it, you get on the meth, you drive around. If you get pulled over, you're like, what the fuck? I'm on meth. I'm fucked up. You shouldn't be driving on meth, Julian.

I know, but if you're fucked up on meth, you're driving around on meth, right? Doesn't, you're fucked. I suppose. But at least you could say, this isn't my car, bud. I'm just a fucking meth head. And I got 129 pounds of weed in my car. It's not my problem.

Right? I suppose. That's the way around it. You just plead the answer. So if you're a meth head and you've got 129 pounds of weed in your car, borrow somebody's car and put it in their car. If it's someone you don't like, yeah,

then first what you should do is go with some Ziploc bags and get the person. Say, can you touch all these bags for me? That's another good plan. So then their fingerprints are on the weed. And then you can just drive around with your crazy meth head and get pulled over and you'll get out of it. What a time. Sounds pretty freaked up to me.

Yeah, it's fucked. Lucky we don't have meth around Sunnyvale. Yeah, it's true. Well, I want to raise a glass to South Korea. No, before you fucking do that, I want to raise a glass to Ken

Block. Fuck, I know! What a fucking nightmare that was. Do you have any good news to wake up to? My idol, man. That guy, he can drive my car low any day. That fucking guy could drive, I'd say, like no other in history.

Fucking snowmobile. Fuck! Fucking snowmobiles, man. And Jeremy Renner got fucked over, too. Yeah, poor motherfucker. Snow plows. Anything with the word snow in it is dangerous this week. Don't fuck around with snow fucking vehicles, man. Ice is dangerous as well.

Randy, shut up. You're kind of ruining what we're talking about. Unless you're a figure skater, which you used to be. I did. I was pretty good, too. Could you twirl nicely? I could, and I could do even the figure eights. Double axel?

No. Triple sow cow? No, no. Triple sow cow. I don't know if that's a good idea. I couldn't quite get that. All right, what about China? Fuck, no, it wasn't China.

It was South Korea. Oh, South Korea. All right, what about them? They're starting off 2023 with a big announcement. What is it? The ban on imported life-size sex dolls has finally been lifted. Hey, right on. Good for them.

Good for them, man. That's a big step. They seized thousands and thousands of these fucking things, and they had a little gray area because they banned importation of goods that harm the country's beautiful traditions and public morale. But they finally got together and said, this isn't fucking anything up. People are using these in the privacy of their own home.

People are banging trees and cars and stuff. They're not fucking parks. Give them the doll. If I was a person, which I'm not because I am getting banged, but if I was one of these people that was never getting banged, I'd be buying one of those dolls, man. Wouldn't you? I'd have to try.

I don't know. Can you try them out? I don't know, man. It's got to be better than just, you know, the other option. I think you have to clean them and stuff. Probably not a bad idea. Randy, why do you say such stupid things all the time? Well, I'm just pointing out the options.

You say things like that, then it gets people, you know, the vision of people's minds, of people, like, dumping things into these fucking dolls, and it's a mess, crusty, and disgusting, and people don't want to fucking think about that. I don't know if I need one. I'm pretty good. You'd go like a monk.

You'd just monk it up. Monk it up? Yeah, man, they're not banging anybody. They're doing whatever, but they're not doing dolls either. We found out there wasn't a bunch of them on Crystal Meth. Yeah, there was. The monks? Because they're not getting banged. Yeah. Crystal Meth? Yeah, there was. The monks? Because they're not getting banged.

Yeah. Get them some dolls, man. Get the monks some dolls. Monks, Crystal Meth, and sex dolls. Probably get a lot more people joining. I'd go see that movie. Movie? We should make a movie about that.

The monks, the meth, and the dolls. The meth monks and the sex dolls. Wow, I don't think I actually want to see that movie. I think it's just the Oedipals are kicking in right now. It would be a weird movie. That would be weird. I can't believe it's 2023. I know.

Check this out. I found this fucking story. I believe it's 2023. I know, you go check this out. I found this fucking story. A medical center mistakenly notifies thousands of patients that they have cancer for Christmas. Oh, wonderful. So their fucking system fucked up

and sent out this crazy fucking email to 8,000 of their patients saying they've got fucking aggressive lung cancer. Merry Christmas. Did they or didn't they? No, nobody did except me. See, I don't know if that was a computer fuck.

I'd say someone did that on purpose just to be a dick. I don't know, man. That's a pretty fucked up thing to do. It's a pretty, you know, it would be a douchey thing to fucking have. Well, it's a medical center, man.

They're not going to say, hey, you guys are all fucking, you know, you get this fucking lung cancer. Happy holidays. Just want to let you know you've got aggressive cancer. Yeah.

They sent it out on the 23rd of December. God. That's not good. Well, either that or it's like, oh, well, I'm going to have the fucking best Christmas ever because I'm fucking got cancer. May as well smoke my ass off, drink my ass off. I bet you people did.

A bunch of drugs. Yeah. Get hooked on shit, and then you find out you don't have cancer. Like, fuck, now I gotta go to rehab. Can you imagine the Christmas a lot of these people had?

Like, it probably was pretty fucking messy. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, I'd be, I'd be giving her. What would you do? Probably a lot of fucking drugs. Probably the exact same shit

you did this Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, maybe try some new drugs. I don't know what drug I'd try, though. That I would never want to do, but then, okay, this is happening, I'm doing it. Fuck it. That sounds like a good idea. What drug would you try?

Crack. I don't know, man. Depends on how fucked up in the head I was at the time. I mean, you're getting hit with something heavy like that, you might want to do some fucked up shit. I would definitely go on a robbing spree. Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah.

See, that'd be more of a thing. I'm going to go fucking steal a Ferrari or something, and I'm going on a mission. You know what I mean? Or old Trans Am or something. All right, I guess this is... Okay, check this out, guys. What is the most expensive object by weight?

Don't fucking peek. Diamonds. That's a good guess. No. By weight? Not even close. What? Yeah.

This will blow your mind. Ginseng? Popcorn. Ginseng? Popcorn. Ginseng? Pop? Boys, the most expensive object. I mean, this has got to be worth like a dime. It's not a dime, which could be worth fucking thousands and thousands.

Titanium. I'm talking millions. Cocaine. No. Oh, good guess. No, I don't think you'll ever get it. Okay, thank you. Final guess.

One last guess. I saw a barbecue cover on you. A barbecue cover? What the fuck is wrong with your brain, Randy? It looked like a barbecue. Fine silk. Fine silk, nope. What it is, just- That's a barbecue cover.

Yeah, that's not a fucking barbecue cover, you idiot. It's that. What is it? That, my friend, is a one-of-a-kind fucking stamp. It is the most expensive object on planet Earth for its weight. Wow. Is it signed?

No, man. I don't even think it's a fucking sign. That's a stamp. It looks like a stamp sign. It is worth $6.5 million for that fucking stamp. That's fucked. I don't get it. Because it's shaped like the octagon? Oh, no, no. $8.5 million for that fucking stamp? That's fucked. I don't get it. Because it's shaped like the octagon. Oh, no, no. $8.5. $8.5 million.

And that's American dollars. That's a lot of money for a stamp. Fuck, I want that stamp. We'll get it. We'll get it. Where is it, anyway? Probably somewhere. They're not telling you where the fucking thing's kept.

This fucking guy, I've never heard of this before, but you get cash for life. He bought six tickets with the exact same numbers for some reason. And he won. No way. So he got six fucking cashes for life in Massachusetts. 30 or 25 grand a year for life, or you can cash it out for 390,000. So he cashed out

five of them, which was over $2 million and they were close to $2 million and he kept one. So he's got $2 million and he gets $25,000 a year for the rest

of his life. Wow. That's not a bad little winning, man. That's a wicked winning, man. Fuck. Oof. I just heard

Mr. Torbjorn start buying tickets. Well, check this out. This dude went to the fucking grocery store. This just happened like last week or something. Yeah. Dude goes to the grocery store

to get some orange juice for his wife. All right? He comes home with the orange juice. She wanted it like this kind that was on sale for $2.50. He comes home and says, here's the orange juice. She's like, what are you doing?

That's like a $5 jug of orange juice. Yeah. Take the fucking thing back and get me the $250, $200.50 one. He goes back, exchanges it, gets his $250 back, buys two lottery tickets, wins $315 million. $315 million? $315 million fucking dollars. Holy fuck, that's a lot of money.

Did he split it with her? I don't, I,'t... What do you think? I wouldn't have went back home. It's his wife. Well, it's because of her being fucked that he went back to exchange it over two bucks. $2.50. She deserves at least three quarters, I think.

I'm surprised that Buddy's going to get... It's her idea. Well, no, she's... But then again, he bought it. They're married. She was an asshole. They're rich, though. They're rich because she's... But then again, he bought it. They're married. He was an... She was an asshole. They're rich, though. They're rich because she's an asshole.

Exactly. Now they can afford the good orange juice. I'd get a T-shirt made. I'm rich because she's an asshole. That would be a good T-shirt for them. Then you could get it, buy that stamp. But how many men would say, okay, honey, I'll go back to the grocery store

and get your precious fucking $2.50 fucking orange juice. They must be in love. You probably wasted five bucks in gas. Well, maybe he walked. That's so fucking sad. Well, maybe. That's love, true love right there. Yes.

Let's just see who got born on January 6th. Sherlock Holmes, who I don't even think is real. Yeah, he was a detective. Pepe Le Pew. Wasn't that that little fucking skunk that people thought was a cat? Yeah. That's it. No, he thought the cat was a skunk that got painted with white paint. Sid Beard, guitarist, Pink Floyd.

Yeah. Uh, that's really not that... Oh, Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Bean. Okay, all right. Well, let's just end it then. Fuck that. You know, I don't give a fuck about birthdays anyway. Yeah. Happy birthday.

All right, let's wrap this up. I've had enough of him. I need to go get some more booze. Oh, well, if you had enough of him and you got duct tape... Okay, let's duct tape him up and at least give him a wax job on his chest. This frog is a good paperweight. All right, we gotta go to the fucking airport.

We will see, hopefully, a bunch of you in New Orleans. Right on. Cheers. Happy days. Happy New Year. To watch the video perk after dark, go to SwearNet.com or go to the Trailer Bird Boys SwearNet app.