Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 33 - Spoiler Alert

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

Ricky and Julian's new year's resolutions are going well - but that's only because they're f**ked! The Boys discuss Hawaiian chicken that's definitely NOT looly-looly, Bubbles' nose spiders, and alien space garbage. Also: Ricky tries not to spill the beans about the new season of Trailer Park Boys: Jail!

. Julian, can I use your muscle glass? My what? Yeah, go for it. I'm not using that fucking thing, man. You use it. It's a decoration. You use your muscle glass. Don't be embarrassed. I would rather put a flower in that fucking thing. Don't be embarrassed that you use your muscle glass.

Fuck, man. Imagine if you're fucking going, I've got to go for a walk, I'm going to go get some chickens, some dickheads come out of the woods with swords, and you've got to take this thing out and fight them, try to chop their heads off or something. Can you get that the fuck away from me? Are you on fucking acid, man?

What are you talking about? I just got a lot of energy, boys. This is great. Why? New Year's. It's only fucking 11. 1130 boys. I can't get up. Yeah Come on Ricky the things happen fuck. Can't we wait till noon? Fucking Jesus get up before noon. I mean, you know that just sitting there staring at it. No, I made it. It's potato vodka that I made.

It's pretty clean, man. Oh, what's in the... For fuck's sakes. It looks like tar or something. It looks like oil. There's old fucking dirty old fucking oil in there. Ash oil or something. I just wasted all that.

What's wrong, Ricky? I got 30 minutes before I can have a fucking drink. Are you still doing that? Still doing the no-day drinking. Yeah, I've got a whole new system as well, Bob. Come on, 12 o'clock. It's perfect, man. I feel like I've got a lot more energy. We're gonna make a lot of money this year. I can feel it.

It's not easy. It's not easy keeping these fucking resolutions. I haven't eaten a fucking icicle since New Year's. You what? I still don't understand that one, Ricky. Why did you make that your New Year's resolution? Well, you know how good they are, and they're good in drinks and everything else, but then I started thinking. He's not eating icicles.

That's one of his... Yeah, but you know why. What makes an icicle for to come to get be an icicle? Temperature. It's water that kind of runs off of a roof, and then it drips down and it freezes. Well, guess what? Guess what's on that roof? Bird shit.

Bird shit, fucking shingle shit, all kinds of shit. Piss you've pissed up on the roof before. Piss that I've pissed up on the roof from? Yes, like... Fuck. I've been getting piss and bird shit and tar for years now. Putting them in my drinks. How many times have I told you?

You can't eat fucking icicles. Anyway, I think that's going to be an easy one. The day drinking. Not drinking before noon is tough. I got a new rule. I'm stopping drinking at 3 and I feel a lot better because of that well yeah it's been easy you're not gonna drink in there in the evenings you're not gonna have a fucking drink no 3 a.m. I'm cutting it off at 3 a.m. I'm not eating between I stopped beating at 7 usually drink past 3 a.m.

anyway you know I have been if you when are you allowed to start drinking in the morning as soon as I get up but I'm not eating breakfast till 10 okay because I'm breaking the fast and then I'm gonna stop eating at 7 that's pretty good that's the way people do it so you you're you're no drinking resolution you just stop drinking from basically 3 a.m to probably 7 or 8 when you get out yeah maybe i should do that although but okay everything else is on a timer i'm gonna make a new year's resolution where i don't fucking go for jogs from 4 a.m to 6 a.m. There.

What are you talking about? Well, just there. That's not even close to what I'm doing. It's got to be something you used to do that you don't do anymore, like icicles or I don't drink from midnight-ish until noon. That's pretty good. That's pretty impressive. I chug a bunch of shit before midnight, but, you know. Have you guys ever woke up at, like like 5 o'clock in the morning,

you know, take a piss, and then, ah, I'm going to have a little, I'm going to go back to sleep for a little while? You've never done that? No, I've had a joint. It happens. I'm also only smoking one joint an hour. I've been sticking to that.

It sucks, but one joint an hour on the hour. So we've got to hurry up. How big is the fucking joint? Moving on. Okay, it's... I mean, it's a fucking gigantic joint. Yeah, it's a big gorilla cock. Gorilla cock.

Big gorilla cock joint. Alright. Okay. It is a new year. Yes, are we to start the program? We already did, didn't we? Well, we didn't welcome everybody. Park after dark.

How's it going? Welcome to the park after dark 2021. 2021. And you know who's probably here? Fuck you, 2020. Bye-bye. We probably have some new folks. Some new folks that have never, you know.

That's right. Really? Yes. Okay. And there was that thing on New Year you know. That's right. Really? Yes. Okay. And there was that thing on New Year's Day. That was cool. Oh, yes. Seeing us in jail.

Yes. I actually forgot about a bunch of that shit. Did you watch it? I don't remember a lot of it, but yeah, it was good, I think. It was fun. You don't remember that? I still can't believe we went to jail over that stupid bullshit of that idiot, but anyway. It's all a big fucking blur. You don't remember that? I still can't believe we went to jail over that stupid bullshit of that idiot, but anyway.

It's all a big fucking blur. Well you can't talk about it too much because I haven't seen the rest of the episode yet. There's another one. Alright, we're not going to talk about it. Well, we can talk about it. I just mean don't... Spoiler alert! You know what that means? They didn't see my...

Was... Was my... Well, I can't really call her my girlfriend because she me over was she in that one not yet we can't don't be talking about her man you can't even say you know a jewel jail was like great last time or you know you can't say jail sucked because that's spoilers man you can't you can't leak oh it was on yesterday the second one i haven't even seen that one yet i don't know what one it was i don't even. Oh, it was on yesterday, the second one. I haven't even seen that one yet. I don't know what one it was. I don't even know which one it was, man. I probably, it was one where you guys fucked my life up.

Well, let's, you know what, let's watch it after this. Because I'd like to know what it showed. So, I hope they're not going to make me look too dumb. Apparently I did a lot of crazy shit in jail. I don't want to talk about it. All right, moving on. Spoilers. Spoiler alert. That's the term

that gets used on the internet. I just think that it's good that 2020 is done. We can move forward to 2021. I mean, it could be worse. Who knows? Maybe this will be a year where you'll be like, fuck, I wish we were in 2020 again. 2020 was bad. Is there a show 2020?

What if there's a Fucking bunch of 2020 with Burb Walters Well they should Change it to 2021 Bunch of new pandemics Could be in 2021

Hurricanes Fucking volcano eruptions Tidal waves This could be a bad one Boys Oh 2021's gonna be Fucked It's gonna be going

Worse and worse It's not gonna get Any better Did you guys listen To the Ramones That Ramones time? What? What are you talking about?

Ramones time. Ramones time. Do you know what that is? No, man. No, man. The band. Yeah, the band, the Ramones. So the day before New Year's Eve.

Okay. Right? Yeah. Midnight on that night was Ramone's time. Know why? Why? 20, 20, 24 hours to go. Get it?

I do now. 20, 20, 24 hours to go. Remember we met Ronnie Ramone at Jeff Healy's. Did we meet him? Ronnie Ramone. I don't think his name was Ronnie, but he was a Ramone. He Healy's. Did we meet him? Ronnie Ramone? I don't think his name was Ronnie, but he was a Ramone. He was a crazy fucker. I don't think we met one of the Ramones, Ricky.

Yeah. You did? No, we all did, man. Jeff Healy's bar. Toronto. He was a good lad, eh? Jeff Healy? I don't remember meeting Jeff Healy's bar.

He was an awesome guy. Yeah, he's not around anymore. Fucking talented. Jeff Healy? Yeah. Yeah, he's not around anymore. Fucking talented. Jeff Healy? Yeah. Oh, he's fantastic. Remember, they played, they were the band in Roadhouse. Yes, they were.

Jeff Healy. I've never seen that movie. Jeff Healy was in Roadhouse? Yeah, they were the house band. You know what? We're going to fucking spider man. Where is he? You got a fucking nose spider. Fucking spider hanging off my glasses.

No, that came out of your nose. We're going to watch the episode of Jail after this, and then we're going to listen to Jeff fucking Ely. I haven't listened to him for a while. It sounds just like him. He was good. And he was in Roadhouse. And he couldn't see.

He was the house band up on the stage when they're throwing the bottle. Oh, he's pretending like he doesn't know every fucking frame of Roadhouse. I'm going to have to watch it. Remember the fence was up and they're throwing bottles at him? He's seen the movie 7,000 times. I know, man. He's the guy that was eye, he's eye impaired. I'm going to have to, I may have seen a clip on YouTube.

And fucking unbelievable. Julian doesn't know. Just like Ray Charles. Eye impaired and genius. The who? Eye impaired. Yeah. He was fucking blind.

Yeah. You can't say that anymore. You have to say eye impaired. Don't get. I don't think that anymore. It's a I impaired. Okay I think there is spiders in my nose How do I have no spice dig him out were you snorting spiders Fuck I snorted a spider's nest like Ozzy Osbourne Didn't he snort ants? Yeah, he snorted a line of ants.

And he sucked up his piss off the fucking ground. Yeah, I know. So was Lady. Yeah. Did you hear about the Ice Age woolly rhino they found in Russia? A woolly rhino? I never even heard of such a thing. Apparently they found one a while ago.

But yeah, they found this fucking Willie Rhino in Siberia in the ice. And all of his fucking organs and shit are still intact. He's like 20,000, 50,000 years old. They can't figure it out until they... Oh. Oh, you got a phone call? Timer.

Just wait, mine started going off too. No, no, there's an emergency alert going on. Holy fuck, there is too. What's going on, boys? A shooting. Where? Where? Where? New Brunswick, Riverview. Last night. Located in Amherst. The buddy is on his... Okay. Oh, he's on the

run. They're still looking for him. Let's go get him. Caucasian male, Jansen. Jansen? No, Jansen's his name. Oh. Jankum. 5'9", 141. He's just a little fella. Oh. Jankum. His name's Jankum. 5'9", 141. He's just a little fella. Jesus.

Crazy little fuck. He wouldn't even need to put two shots in there. Decided to not approach him. No. If we see him, he's going down. Take your sword. Come on, baby. Time to go to work.

Let's go be some vigilantes. This is not a good sword. No, that's not great. Come on, baby. Time to go to work. Let's go be some vigilantes. This is not a good sword. No, that's... That's not great. Well, it's for decoration. It's not a real ninja sword. Forged out of the fires of, you know... Did you see that big vagina sculpture in Brazil?

No. That's fucking pretty crazy. It's a 108-foot vagina sculpture. 108? Yeah, made out of concrete and resin. Oh, they modeled it after your mother. Oh! Oh!

Mama joke of 2021. First one of 2021. You got it. That might be the number one for the whole year. 108 feet. Fuck, did I ever say that? Yeah. Yes, you did.

What's it made out of? Concrete and resin. It's fucking big. It's called Diva. Diva. Diva. Jesus, man. Spiders come out of your nose.

Down the wrong pipe. Down the wrong pipe. Fuck. That's something I don't understand. I mean, we're pretty old. How in the fuck do you still do shit like that? Like, how does the body not learn after all these years to drink properly? I bite my lip all the time. You bite your lip or bite your cheek.

It's like, what the fuck? We've been doing this a long time there, teeth. Do you say that to your teeth when that happens to you? Well, they fuck you over. You fucking want to knock them out, but then you ain't got to pay. Is there anybody else on the planet talking to their teeth, do you think? It's fucked up. Whoa. What the fuck?

Another timer. It's a timer. You know what this means? I can go over and play 15 minutes to a half hour video games if I want. Oh, you're doing screen time monitoring? I'm kind of like setting timers off so I don't like, you know, sit around and smoke dope and fucking play video games if I want. Oh, you're doing screen time monitoring? I'm kind of like setting timers off so I don't, like, you know, sit around

and smoke dope and fucking play video games all day. Because it gets to you, you know? It's just not productive. What's going on? Huh?

What's up with you, man? I was just replying to the emergency response saying I'm all good here. You don't reply to... I saw the vagina thing last night, and then last night after that I went to sleep, and I had a dream that I fucking went to Braesville

and jumped in the fucking vagina sculpture, and then I got reborned. It's a weird dream. Okay. You gotta stop. So this vagina statue, does it have like a hole you can go in and walk in it? Like look around and go, whoa.

I don't think. No, no lights like, you know. I don't think it's anything like that. Lights? Like walls, fleshy kind of walls with lights. No, we could build one like that if you wanna fund it. You can go in and look around. People would come and see it, yes.

Well, you'd put like Philip Hugh lighting in there. Yeah. That's a good idea. You'd put like Philip Hugh lighting in there. That's a good idea. That'd be weird. We should open up a bar that is you walk into a giant vagina. No, we shouldn't. Why not? People would come to it, I guarantee you. What would it be called?

Clitosaurus. Clitosaurus bar. Vagina the size of a dinosaur. Pussy Stavron. Yeah. Oh, I see. Hot dogs that are kind of like the cold vagina on a bun. It's, no, that's too much.

No. Lips, pizza, and beer. It might work. It might work. You guys are fucked. That's a terrible idea. You might as well make one call anus. Anus?

You might as well make a bar call the anus. And it's just a big, you know. No, but that's not what you think of anus. Imagine if that was the whole front of the building was just an ass. And just going through the anus, that's the door. Yeah, but you don't, that doesn't work up a good appetite, walking into an ass. You walk into a vagina... Depends who you are.

You're like, I want to get drunk. You might be a specialty crowd. Why not a place called Dex, where you go in through the piss hole? I mean, that would be just as... Nice. Offensive. You could just get an old train car. Easy.

Put a little tip on it. Why don't you do that, bubs? I'll open up the vagina. Burn grill. You could just get an old train car. Easy. Put a little tip on it. Why don't you do that, bubs? I'll open up the vagina. Bar and grill. You open up dick. Competition. Dick's bar and grill. Competition's healthy.

And then you know what you could do? Have a railway track that goes right in to the bar. My bar. Yeah. Wow. We're really fucked up. Oh, you mean put my bar on rails and then the whole bar goes into your bar? 12 o'clock or something, it's happy hour.

Woo! Everybody drink. My bar goes inside your bar. I'd go there, man. I would go there. Totally. Boys, we got to get off the dope. Yeah.

Yeah. Remember that cock-sucking squirrel that I couldn't kill under my trailer and he used to attack me and bite me and fucking asshole. Good Lord. Jerry, I called him. He moved. What? Yeah, he moved to New York, Queens.

He's been attacking the fuck out of people. It can't be the same squirrel, man. You think it's a coincidence that all squirrels are friendly and they just eat nuts. And there's one squirrel that lives here that attacks the fuck out of me. And now there's attacks in New York. I'm telling you, boys. He jumped on a plane or a fucking train. Ricky, that squirrel's name was Little Jerry.

Marguerite ran him over. I didn't want to tell you because I know you got, even though he was biting you, I know you got a little attached to him. Yeah, but what if he blasted his juice into some other squirrels and had little squirrel kids that are just as vicious? I cannot disprove that he did not impregnate another squirrel that made its way to New York, but little Jerry got squished. Trust me.

I know what these people are going through and I feel for them because it is not fucking cool to have a squirrel attack you. They have claws and they can just cling on to you and bite the fuck out of you and bite your neck and try to get that vein that kills you. Fuckers. You think he was going for your carotid, do you? Well, why did he try't bite your neck and try to get that vein that kills you. Fuckers. You think he was going for your carotid, do you? Well, why did he try to bite my neck? He doesn't know where your carotid artery is, Ricky.

It's a fucking squirrel. A lot of people say that they have infrared vision and they can see different blood things and that's how they know where to attack. Squirrels don't have infrared. Even if they had infrared, they wouldn't be able to see your veins. What's that called? The heat eyes. They don't have heat eyes.

If squirrels were fucking massive and they actually ate humans, maybe they'd go after it. You think that there's a squirrel that lived under your trailer that had heat eyes and he could see your carotid artery and he was going after it? He knew where to bite. I'm telling you, man. he bit in the most painful locations. And he spit his juice into other squirrels and then their kids, the kids, were in New York.

And if their kids started pregazermating other squirrels they could take over the goddamn world. Let's get it right that time. It's a good thing they can't drive. Squirrels can drive, toonses could drive, the cat, remember toonses? He wasn't very Let's get it right that time. It's a good thing they can't drive. Squirrels can drive. Toonts could drive. The cat. Remember Toonts? He wasn't very good, though.

No, he crashed a lot. Ran off the cliff most of the time. Toonts. I saw the video of the Kentucky man. He used a flamethrower to clear his driveway. That was fucking... It made me horny. I'm not going to lie lie he was a one-handed flamethrower too he's chugging a beer in the other hand his fucking bathrobe fuck he looked cool

we should get one of those going we know see this is what i did not want to happen you could build one i know i could very easily all you get ricky the thing for tiring, you know, for tiring the roof. No, man, this was shooting a flame, fucking... No, I know, but you get that mechanism. Oh, okay. You just fucking crank the pressure up. MacGyver it.

You just turn the fucking... Is that still expression, MacGyver it? MacGyver, yeah. Yeah, MacGyver it. Fuck, he was a good... He could have done things with different things. MacGyver, oh, he could do good... He could have done things with different things. MacGyver? Oh, he could do anything with a paperclip and a fucking elastic.

Basically get himself out of any situation with a paperclip and elastic, a couple of buttons. Your mama used to say the same thing. Is that better than yours? No, it's terrible. It doesn't make any sense. Well, no, she uses it to flick her parts with the, you know what I mean? She's dirty. Very dirty.

Terrible. Oh, fuck. Can you hear that? Listen. That's nobody laughing at your joke. No, man, that's not funny. Yeah, nobody at home was laughing at that joke. No, man, that's not funny. Yeah, nobody at home was laughing at that one. So they proved

that there's aliens. That's cool. Who proved it? Fucking alien space garbage, man. What? They found a piece of garbage that came into our solar system. I haven't heard about this, Ricky. Do tell.

They think it's like some kind of alien machine, but it's, it's their space garbage. Not from us. What, they found a piece of something that's not from the Earth? They tracked it for a bit, yeah. Well, how do they know what it is? Just because the properties and shit.

It was, I don't know. They said it's space garbage. It looks like some kind of alien machine or alien. It could be an abandoned ship. I think they called it Scout or something. Scout. It could be an abandoned ship that's just floating around up there waiting for somebody to claim it. So they found it up in space floating around?

It came by Earth for like four or five days, and they got their fix fixed on it. But they're not sure what it was, but they think it's, yeah, it's not. Did you see the fucking glowing orb that dropped into the ocean? No. Out by Hawaii. Oahu, all these people saw this. Well, this thing was found from Hawaii.

It was named, it was a Hawaiian name for it. Oh, maybe that's the thing. I don't know. There was this fucking blue light up in the sky. Everybody saw it and they're like, what's that? And it goes like this. And disappears into the ocean. Really?

Yes. I don't think it was the same thing, but it's weird that it's all Hawaii connected. Well, how is the one floating in space connected to Hawaii? Because the telescope, I think, was in Hawaii, maybe. Oh, well, yeah. They would have seen it. They've got big telescopes in Hawaii. I think it's

called the... What's the big telescope in Hawaii called? The Kahuna scope. The big Kahuna. I don't fucking know. I did read there is an island in Hawaii that's fucking's mean like overtaken by feral chickens there's chickens everywhere man and you're not allowed to eat

them that's the bad thing but you don't want to because i got feral meat is that what's terrible rabies like a rock just wild dirty, man. Sick your mother. See, that was a good one. 2021 is the year the mother talks. Just wild and dirty. Like your mother. Terrible. This freaked me out. Alligators can grow back their limbs.

Who would have thought? What? I mean, in order to find that out, somebody must have cut something off, right? Yeah, or it got bit off by another alligator in an alligator fight. I mean, I remember lizards could drop their tails and shit, so I guess it's the same sort of thing, but it's just hard to imagine a big cocksuck like that

lose his foot and then a few days later, he's like, oh, there we go. Got that back. Lucky little fox. There she is. She's back. Imagine being able to cut off your limbs and then just grow them back. Fuck the party tricks you could do. That's all, man.

Get the fuck away from me. All right. My gator limb. You know what? There's a saying in Hawaii, guys. If you eat the chicken they're talking about the feral chickens if you eat the chicken put two pots of water on the boil and one pot put uh pahaku lava rock and the other put moa which is the wild chicken once the lava

rock is done the moa is ready to eat done what's the fuck you don't want rocks done that's what that's what they're saying melted feral chicken meat is like? What the fuck do you mean the lava rock's done? That's what they're saying. Melted? Feral chicken meat is like fucking eating the lava rock. Oh, okay. You know what I'm saying? Oh. God, that was, yeah. The MOA.

MOA constrictor. Something like that, yeah. Maybe they're constrictor chickens. They fucking get you with their clackers and they fucking constrict you. No, I don't think they do that, man. Mow a constrictor. They're everywhere. There is. There's some good cops out there.

Why, Ricky? Well, a lot of shitty stuff happened in 2020, but this guy, Matt... Fuck. Matt Fuck? It's either Matt Lime or Matt Limo, maybe. He was an officer in Massachusetts. Oh, Massachusetts. I never thought about that.

Massachusetts, Ricky. Yeah, but it could be called Massachusetts. So you have two massive shits. Mass of two shits. People are not going to like that there. I'm joking. I love it there. I love Boston.

Some people find it funny, they'll find it wicked good. I bet you it's not the first time we've heard that there. I'm joking. I love it there. I love Boston. Some people find it funny. They'll find it wicked good. I bet you it's not the first time we've heard it. Worcester. We've been to Worcester. Worcester. You hear that on the news all the time? We've been to, yeah, we've been down there, various places. We've been to Worcester?

Yes. Yeah. Don't remember. Anyway, these two women were with their kids at the supermarket, and they were doing self-check-in, and they were only scanning one every three items and putting them all in. So they got in trouble, obviously.

Cop came to arrest them. They said, sorry, had some hard times. Just trying to buy our kids, make sure they have Christmas dinner. And he bought them Christmas dinner instead of arresting them. Oh, I thought you were going to say he shot them. That wouldn't be a real feel-good story. Oh, it was a feel... I thought you said...

Oh, I got that all backwards. Oh, that's nice of him. It was very nice. It was kind of nice. So, you know, next time we get caught shoplifting, just say that... Bullshit. You're trying to get your kids Christmas dinner or Valentine's dinner.

It's not... It's not the same, Ricky, because I actually... Anyway, I thought it was nice. It is nice. Fuck. You guys ever hear of something called stargazy fucking pie? Stargazy? Stargazy pie.

In England. No. Who the fuck would eat that? Sardines in it. The head's popping up out of it. Oh, you'd be surprised. That is fucking disgusting. People eat fish heads.

Oh, man, I don't know. I couldn't do it, but people do it. And the oils, you gotta have the heads up so the oils seep down into the fucking pie so it's nice and moist. Like your mother. Jesus. Triple duty.

Okay, that was a good one. But yeah, that's disgusting. Yeah, like your mother. Yeah. So January 8th, on this day, 1956, Elvis Presley's Don't Be Cruel and Hound Dog single goes number one for a record 11 weeks. Don't be cruel. Do the ah. Don't be cruel.

In 1992, 1992 on this day, George H.W. Bush got ill and threw up in the Japanese Prime Minister's lap. Yes, I remember that. Remember he puked on him. Happy New Year. Yep. George W. probably all fucking twisted on something. There's some interesting birthdays on January 8th. One of our most interesting birthday days ever maybe. Really?

Yes. Back to Elvis. It's his birthday today. It's Elvis' birthday. It is. Happy birthday, Mama. Cheers, boys. That's pretty birthday today. It's Elvis' birthday. It is. Happy birthday, Mama. Cheers, boys.

That's pretty good, bubs. Cheers, cheers to the king. I'm the king, rock and roll. Stephen Hawking. Now, see, I was gonna try to do everybody's voice that you're gonna name off, but I can't do that. Why can't you? Why? Well, because. Was it even his voice or was it a robot?

It doesn't matter. You can... That was him. I am Stephen Hawking. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Well, hard. Cheers to him.

No, can't do it. One of the smartest... Who's that John Wayne Hawking? One of the smartest motherfuckers ever. Yeah, but I thought at the end he could just pick a voice. He could. Yeah, I thought he... Oh, could he? a voice. He could. Yeah, I thought he... Oh, could he?

I think so. But I don't... Was he... Did he have John Wayne's voice programmed into his throat? No, I don't think he did. He may have. So he had, like, interchangeable voice boxes. Did he?

Or was it all coming out of a computer? He would have been looking at the screen. Oh, I thought it was coming out of him. Oh, I mean, he probably just had a program where he... Another one of your faves, bubs. David Bowie. Ooh, that's a lot of famous people. Fuck, January 8th.

David Bowie and fucking Elvis had the same birthday? Isn't that in Stephen Hawking? Now, it goes downhill a little bit from here. 1967. R. 1967. R. Kelly. R. Kelly, yeah, we went down. Yeah, he's not in people's good books. 1983.

This is a doozy. Kim Jong-un. Kim Jong-un and Elvis at the same birthday. Holy fuck. It's a huge day at his show. Imagine Kim Jong-un doing Elvis have the same birthday. Holy fuck. It's a huge day at his show. Imagine Kim Jong-un doing Elvis. Doing him? Not doing him.

People would pay to see that. Because he's got that same fucking, you know, that big top-heavy lid on him there that sticks out. He could be an Elvis impersonator. If you stuck a fucking sequined suit on Kim Jong-un. Some sideburns. Some karaoke music. Some big sideburns and strapped a guitar on him

and pushed him out on stage. You should do one of those things on Photoshop, man. Do it up. Kim Jong... Kim Jong Presley. Don't be... I'm so cruel.

I shot my brother. Wasn't it with a missile or something? Yeah, well. No, he poisoned his brother. I think he poisoned his brother-in-law and then shot one of his generals with a fucking missile. Isn't he like going around rounding up people's dogs or house pets? Yes, we talked about that. They were making them hand over their dogs so that they could eat them.

Meat shortage, meat some fucking dogs. Not true. No, that was could eat them. Meat shortage. Meat's a fucking dog. Not true. No, that was true, Rick. What's going on, man? Well, I'll say happy birthday to Elvis. And I'll say happy birthday to Stephen Hawking. Happy birthday to Elvis, Hawking, and Bowie. Imagine if they were one person.

Yeah. Decent.