Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 34 - Bunch Of Cults

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

Happy Feast Of Fabulous Men Day! Wait, what the in f**k?! Randy's here to celebrate, but where's Bubbles? Is he having fun... or been captured by a cult? The Boys also chat about exploding toilets, Mo's flat Earth mythbuster, and why Julian f**kin' hates crows. Also: A toast to dead bugs!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. Alright. Welcome to the Park After The Dark. With Ricky, Julian Julian and Fuckface. Yeah, happy new year, everybody. 2024. Happy new year.

It is. I'm still happy. I'm going to be different this year with you. I'm going to try to have patience. I'm going to try to fucking, you know, not call you so many names. Nice. But my fucking, my mouth is frozen. I was at the fucking dentist driving me nuts, so I'm going gonna be a little fucked today. It's not good for the drinking. Are you cranky, Julian?

No, I'm actually in a good mood. Other than Bubbles not being here. And all the stuff that he just said he's gonna do to you this year, I'm doing the opposite. Oh, come on, Ricky. Let's, let's, what do you call it, bury the hatchet? No, I think, I think that's a good mixture between, you know, you fucking give it to him and I'll be nice to him for once just for a while it might only last a week or so but i'm gonna try the whole year man january the 12th already what the fuck you know what day the 12th

is i i did some research too ricky feast of fabulous men day it's a day that beautiful say here we go day of the year. It is. Beautiful, handsome men. They're celebrated. Julian, you'd fit right in. And you get to feast on them? Well, you just make a dinner

and you just cheers all the fabulous men of the world. And Julian, you're fabulous. I don't want to be celebrating the fabulous what? Men Day? What's it called? Man Day? Feast of the Fabulous Men? Fucking Jesus.

Brad Pitt would fit into the category. Actually, went back to mythical times. Like gods and stuff, Julian. And even some of these guys were hairy like me. And had different body shapes. If you could feast on any man in the world, who would you feast on? Well, why do you set him up like that? Like a cannibal, you mean?

If you had to eat? No. If you were in a plane crash? If you had to like... that? Like a cannibal, you mean, if you had to eat? No. If you were in a plane crash? If you had to, like, eat? I don't know. Grope? Touch? Suck?

Kiss? No, no, no. I would think you want to, like, I would probably be good eating because I'm well marbled. You don't want too tough, I would think. I mean, I don't want to eat human, but. What are you talking about eating? We're not talking about that, man. Were you eating people?

And you're marble? Of course you're fucking marble. Look at you. No one, I wouldn't want to eat you. Actually, if we had to, it'd be easy to maybe curve you up, get a couple of steaks out of that. Is there like a level of ground beef below regular? Because that's what you would eat.

Oh, you would be... He'd be just fat with a hint of beef taste to it. You just cut the fat off. You don't grind up all of it. He'd be just like one grizzle burger. He could make some candles out of you, I guess. Yeah, he'd be good for candles. Eating his fat would keep us alive

if we were like in the mountains or something. It's cold. It's true. I know you do need fat. I watched alive if we were, like, in the mountains or something. It's cold. It's true. I know you do need fat. I watched a TV show that it said you need fat to digest things. And speaking of fucking plane wrecks, what happened with that plane? The window fucking came out? Oh, man.

Because usually we're pretty drunk on planes. Maybe it wouldn't give a fuck. Freaked the fuck out of me. Or maybe I'd just be standing there, the panel goes, and be like, all right, that just happened. Now it's like the window's down on a car. The whole thing about that whole thing was that a fucking iPhone survived a 16,000-foot fall from said plane. See, that's a commercial right there.

Probably had one of those cases, the indestructible case on there. It landed on a Portland, Oregon roadway. It must have had a case. So do you think Apple's like some... Those cases, the indestructible case on there. It landed on a Portland, Oregon roadway. I must have had a case. So do you think Apple's like some, you know what, you know there's people out there saying, hey, Apple had something to do with this. They had to, because I mean, that's a good fucking test. Conspiracy theory.

That's, people were probably all over it, man. I wouldn't doubt it. All right, Bubbles, where the fuck is he? Well, glad you brought that up. That's why we're stuck with the shit beast, because Bubbles went on a date last night. He went on a date. He did not come home.

All right, all right. He either killed him, or he might be happy. I'm glad you said she or he, because I did look out the window when he was taken off, and I didn't know whether it was a girl or a guy he was with. All right. Does she have kind of like a Justin Bieber kind of mustache? You know what I mean?

Does she have one of those? It was hard to tell. Or was it just dirt or something? I don't know, but, yeah, I know what you're saying. Anyway, she had a 5 or 6 o'clock shadow. I'm happy for her. Which is all right. I'm happy for him. She's probably a very nice girl.

Bubbles, he only likes girls. He doesn't... But, I mean, she had a lot of characteristics of a dude, so maybe is he attracted? Was it... I think he's more of a personality guy. You know what I mean? More of a tomboy kind of elderly lady.

Like, kind of like Christy McNichol, like back in the day when she played that tomboy. Why is Christy McNipple? McN like Christy McNichol, like back in the day when she played that tomboy. Why is Christy McNipple? McNipple, not McNichol. It's my mouth's frozen, man.

It's like, you know, I don't even know who Christy McNichol is. McNichol. It was just, I was reading something about her,

like she was famous back, like way back. A lot of people don't even know who she is, but she was, you know,

pretty. Well, good for Bubbles. That's great. I'm not saying the one Bubbles was with was pretty. Maybe she, maybe I didn't get a good look, but holy fuck, guys. So at what point do we say, he's not responding to texts or calls. At what point do we maybe think maybe we should call the police?

Or do we just deal with it as, I have no idea who this person is. He did look pretty fucking psychotic. Might have been a nice person. Met the person online, so who fucking knows? Oh, he didn't Tinder up, did he? I don't know if it was Tinder. I think it was... Some kind of a cat dating fucking slash whatever service.

Boy, he could be in trouble then. He did say she's supposed to be quite, he, she is supposed to be like, I don't know if they're Mormon, but some type of religion. Some, maybe, okay. Jesus. Maybe she's from a fucking cult. That's what I was thinking. You could be eating like pig nuts in a soup or something right now if I can chant some weird shit. You know what I mean?

Is that what they do? I don't know, man. They're just, I don't understand cults, man. They're fucked. Agreed. You know what I mean? Do you know, what are your, what's your opinion on a cult? Well, a lot of them, it's, I think that

you're entitled to believe in what you want to believe in, Julian. But the thing is, if you're causing harm to people, then it's not right in my mind. And you shouldn't lie either. You should tell the truth. So I went to a cheeseburger call. All right, Randy, shut up. Let's move on.

Let's move forward on this. Just shut the fuck up. What goes on at a cheeseburger call? All you eat is cheeseburgers. I mean, it's great, but... Mom, is it a cult or is it a gang or is it a fucking get-together? The main guy then tried to push those veggie burgers on us.

Yeah, the plant-based shit. That's when I left. Fuck that. Anyways, yeah, you should... Hopefully Bubbles is not in a cult situation, but he's a grown man. He knows what he's doing. Give him another day, another 12 hours before you call the boys in blue to find him. So the teenagers that beat Tetris, you hear about this shit? I like Tetris.

That's a good game. I don't know why it's such good news, but yeah, he fucking, first human being. Only AI has been able to do it, I guess. Wow. He crashed the fucking thing. Level 157. But how do you beat Tetris? Because the score was 999,999.

And if you get another point, the whole machine just freezes. And those fucking blocks are coming down, man. Like, fucking. When you get up to that level, it it's insane man that kid i guess he was boxing three hours a day that's a lot of fucking tetris but i don't know if it's good for him man i can't imagine sure he could be a mover he could put stuff in the back of like a five ton and you tetris he would be good at fucking you put the freezer in at the right angle and working at all maybe at the grocery store. Yeah.

He could bag in groceries. Loading a moving truck. But you know what? Yeah. With all these options that he might have, there's going to be a problem. He's not going to get banged. This guy's not going to get banged. He's going to get older.

He's going to just be thinking about blocks and shit. He's not going to use. When he goes to sleep, he must still see. That's what I'm saying. His fucking brain has probably been fried from fucking blocks. Yeah. Hopefully, you know, he'll get out to some bars or something, meet some ladies. I used to love that fucking game.

That's a good game. Game boy. But man, I never got anywhere near level 157. No. No, I think I made it to level 10 maybe. Something like that. I'd get fucking hired in that. I'd say 50 would be the limit. When you get the big line, the one with the four,

and then you hit four bars all at once, you get negative points. And you're fucked, yeah. Oh, boy, you get screwed. You know. I'm finding it real hard, man. What, your penis? No, fucking fuck off.

What did you, what'd you, relax. Stop looking at me down there, man. What's your dentist do?, fuck off. What are you... Relax. Stop looking at me down there, man. What's your dentist do? Did he put you under? There was a... I cracked my fucking tooth and he jabbed a bunch of needles up there, man. My eye is frozen. And when you woke up, did your bum get sore? What the fuck you talking about?

You ever go to a doctor and they put you under and you wake up and your bum's sore, there's something else going on? What kind of a fucking doctor are you going to, man? Has that happened to you? Not to me, but I've got some friends. They're playing doctor. That's what they're doing.

Because doctors don't do that. They don't tell you, okay, here we go. I'm going to give you a needle and knock you out for a bit. We'll see what happens. They'll tell you. Gotcha. This Alabama man shocked some shoppers at Bass Pro.

Crashed his truck out front. Stripped down his birthday suit. Went into the store and did a cannonball into their aquarium.

Awesome. That would be fun. Yeah, I wouldn't be shocked. I'd be like, wow, this is pretty awesome. Right on. Yeah, you should check to make sure that there's like, wow, this is pretty awesome. Right on.

Yeah, you should check to make sure that there's not any dangerous fish. And he climbed out to fucking berate a couple officers, and then he jumped back in. So why did he do it? Was it someone dared him to do it? He must have been fucked up on something. He crashed his truck, so I don't know. So he was drunk. He went for it.

He just didn't jump in. He's like full-on cannonball. And he stripped down naked. They got big aquariums and all kinds of different animals. It's well done at those stores. I've never seen an aquarium at Bass Pro. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, not around here.

I was down in Florida doing some construction work and went in down there. Yeah. Ours is just a little pansy Bass Pro. It smells like gold in that place. You know what I mean? Did you guys ever go in there? Smell? No, I don't smell any mold.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just musky, moldy bags. This fucking man in Florida is suing Dunkin' Donuts. Listen to this shit. Over injuries following a toilet explosion. He went and used the toilet, dunked the donuts, and he flushed it, the whole fucking thing exploded. He had shit and piss all over him.

Something caught him in the eye that fucked him up. He had to go to the hospital. And now he needs mental health counseling. Whoa, which is gonna cost what, another million bucks? He's only suing them for 100 grand. They could probably just pay it out. What a dummy. They'd pay, pay it out. What a dummy. They'd pay, like, you know, you should be, you, why aren't you doing that? You're good in court.

You could be suing the fuck out of people. Bring it on. Couple, get a coffee, McDonald's, pour it on you. Fuck. Yeah, that's done though. But yeah, we got to come up with something. The toilet explosion's brilliant. What about, I don't fucking know. What would make that happen? Because there's no cameras in the fucking washroom, too, so you can say it happened. Some kind of pressure of some sort. I don't know, man. So you've got to come up with some idea so that there's like a major pressure going on in the toilet that it'll explode.

What, in Sunnyvale? No, when we go to stores. So he can do it. Oh. I know what you could do. What's that? Those Mentos and some pop, Coca-Cola? Put them in there and they would just... No, I mean, this was a fucking explosion.

You mean explosion? It just hit the ceiling. Like, it was powerful. Almost took his eye out. Yeah, I think there's got to be a chance of someone getting seriously hurt. Not fucking Mentos in the toilet. Okay. I forgot to tell you this, Julian.

What? I'm no longer a believer that the earth is flat. Congratulations. Thank fuck. Mo, my grandson. Yes. It made perfect sense. I never thought about it.

He said, Grampy, if the earth was flat, then how come the sun is still up over in Vancouver? This was last night. Vancouver's four hours away, still fucking daylight. If the earth was flat, it'd be fucking night and day everywhere, wouldn't it, at the same time? It kind of made sense. Actually, that's pretty scary. Yeah, but do the flat earthers think that the sun's not fucking, we're not moving, and the sun, like, because that's what's happening.

Well, if something's flat and the sun's up here, it's fucking night and day for this whole fucking thing at the same time. It's not going to be fucking night over here and day over here. China is under here if we're here. See, this is why I wish Bubbles was here right now. Right? Because basically, if you... Isn't it true that if we dug straight through here, we'd come out on the other side of the world? If you could go through...

He's either fucking nuts or money. Randy. What? You need a long tunnel. Bubbles would have the answers to this fucking question right now. He'd say, fuck, this is why. Maybe, I mean, I like it. I think it's great, but I don't know if it's accurate or not, man. Bugs Bunny, that's what they used to do.

I'm more over Bugs Bunny. I think Bugs Bunny would dig his rabbit and come out. Check this fucking shit out, man. The Japanese, man, they know their shit. They got shit figured out. Sushi, really good. Okay, whatever. I don't like seafood. Crows are a big fucking problem. They come in, they fly down, they fuck over your garbage, right? They're smart.

They're smart. You can put a sheet over them, they're still gonna fucking beak at it, lift the sheet up, fuck over your garbage. And you got a fucking mess. But guess what? The Japanese have figured out, lift the sheet up, fuck over your guard. And you got a fucking mess. But guess what? The Japanese have figured out, this company in Japan, that all you need to do is hang up a fucking this. And it freaks them out.

What is it? It's so fucking easy. That. Luggage tags? Couple of those. Throw those by your fucking telephone pole. The luggage tags? And it scares the fucking crows away.

What the fuck is the theory behind that? They just get fucked. They don't like sudden, like, surprises or shit, I guess. They said in this article, but there's a video here. This will freak you out, boys. Because I hate crows, man. I mean, they're smart birds, but I hate fucking having to clean up their bullshit. You'll see this right now, watch.

Let's get a little volume. All right, see? Look. He holds up the curd. Oh, they're pretty big. There you go. Take that. Take that with my yellow fucking curd, motherfuckers.

See? That's what he's saying. Fuck you guys. They don't like it. They don't like it. They don't like it. They're putting them up in power lines. See? I wonder if it works over here. Maybe they're Japanese crows.

They could be different, man, but I don't know, man. But I'm doing it. I'm hanging one up. You know how to say hi in Japanese? Fuck off. Guess what? This is what I'm not done. This is what I'm not done. You are responsible for the fucking garbage in this park. You got to make these little fucking yellow sign things. There's not that many crows in Sunnyvale.

There's a lot of fucking crows. Maybe they'll work for the seagulls, too, because they're little cunts as well. What is it, a flock of crows? You got to hang, just hang in the mob. A flock of crows on the telephone poles. It's a murder of crows, isn't it? It's a murder of crows. What? Murder? Yeah, it's a murder, poles. It's a murder of crows, isn't it? It's a murder of crows. What?

Murder? Yeah, it's a murder, man. It's a bunch of them. See, we learn shit on this show, man. Freak off, a murder. You freak off. Anyway, Julian, I'll put up some Bristol board, maybe. Just, no, they gotta be yellow.

Just a yellow fucking card, man. Just dangle them from the telephone pole. That's easy. Hate crows, man. Just dangle them from the telephone pole, please. Hate crows, man. Yeah. Fuck. This pizza just got in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the cheesiest pizza fuck I would like to try it. Cheesiest?

It had 1,000 varieties of cheese on it. Holy fuck. I didn't even know there was 1,000 varieties of cheese in the world. That sounds almost like too much cheese. There's like, there's some of that cheese. I actually look on Garth's book. There's thick cheese.

Yeah, probably too much. Yeah, three, four types of cheese is good, maybe. About 1,000? I can't believe you're saying that, man. Well, they got that shit that's like brittle-y shit that just stinks like ass. Parmesan? No, there's worse ones than that. Ass.

Ass, yeah. Ass cheese. Blue cheese. Blue cheese is fucked. Blue cheese, but a good blue cheese is creamy, Julian. Nice and has a bit of a musk to it. What, do you bang it or something? No, you eat it, but it can give you a hard-on.

What can? Cheese. A hard-on? Yeah. Certain foods make you... I thought it binds you up. That happens, too, and that's why you need to have some veggies. This was a funny headline.

Veggies are my boy. Pastor accused of trying to deep-fry head of wife's McDonald's co-worker. Try to deep-fry her head? Put her head in the deep-fryer. It was his head. What? I guess he was being rude to his wife. His wife called and said, yeah, this little fucking jackass is being a dick.

I can't deal with it. So he went down and grabbed him by the throat and tried to fucking deep fry his head. Oh, man, that would not be a good accident for your head. Fuck that guy. Was he being a dick? You would die, I think. I don't know about that. Some people deserve that shit, though, man. Getting your head. Fuck that guy. Was he being a dick? You would die, I think. I don't know about that. Some people deserve that shit, though, man.

Getting your head deep fried? Well, not to kill them. Just a quick little splash in there. Don't fuck with my wife, motherfucker. You're not going to look the same after that. No. Well, you shouldn't have been an asshole to Buddy's wife. I get it, but it's pretty harsh.

Nice punch in the fucking nose of me. Yeah, but deep frying pretty harsh. A nice punch in the fucking nose would be... Yeah, but deep frying your skull, holy moly. That would be frigged. I don't know what was going on with the pastors this week because there's another church that finds Missouri pastor guilty of soliciting sex during confession. Are you kidding me? They've had enough of that stuff, man.

They've got to stop. You know what I mean? Get a different job. You're telling them you did something wrong, and then they just would say, hey, you want a bang? Is that what happened? I want to step into my stall for a minute. Wow.

Want to get nice and holy-holy? You know what I mean? I don't know if you can believe everything that you read, Ricky. Oh, that's true. I don't know know i've been doing it for centuries man it's a lot of fucked up people out there randy oh i believe that but like trusting man some stuff it sounds a little bit far-fetched like what just like even some of these stories that you're talking about like i believe the crow thing i don't know about the crow thing. Well, there was a video of it. I mean, it looks pretty real,

but, like, deep-frying someone's head? Like, I can't believe someone would really think like that. Why would you make that up, though? Oh, man, lots of people have had their fucking heads dunked in the deep-fryer, man. Spectacle Mafia. They'd do that to you in a second. Yeah.

Forget about it. No, because then it would ruin the oil. It was their restaurant. If somebody owes you a lot of money and you're eating in a restaurant, you get them there and you bring them back to the kitchen. Get the cleaver and threaten to beat your finger. Don't, don't.

Stick the motherfucker's face in the deep fryer. You'll get your money. All right. The world's frigged. The world is frigged. World is frigged. You know what? This is kind of cool. Scientists create a smart pill that vibrates to make you feel like you're full.

What do you think of that? A pill? You shed some pounds. You eat this pill. Like a jumping bean? Well, kind of. It's like a little vibrator. It vibrates in your gut, and it makes your brain go,

-"I'm full." -"And then what, you just shit it out? Don't know. You must, because there's no other way to get it. But then you got to swallow it again? Yeah, it doesn't sound very sanitary. 30 minutes of fives, okay? It goes on for about 30.

Pigs consumed an average of 40% less food. They did it to the pigs, they ate 40% less. A lean pig would be fucking good for bacon. A lean pig? Okay, all right, that's all I got on that one. All right, man. I'm not digging any any further. Some pretty interesting stuff. A lot of fucking crazy people got born until January the 12th.

Tell us. Tim Horton. Pretty famous hockey player. Good coffee. Started a pretty popular doughnut shop. Horton's everywhere. Joe Frazier. Pretty badass.

Think you like Tim's Indian jewelry? Joe Frazier, he was a great fighter liked him, didn't you, Joe? Joe Frazier, he was a great fighter, man. Brandon Frazier's brother? No. Kirstie Alley. She was on Cheers. She was very, very, very beautiful, that lady. Yep.

Back in the day when she was alive. Yeah. Yeah, I forgot that she passed. She passed. Howard Stern got born. No fucking way. At 12. Wow.

Oliver Platt, who is a Canadian actor. That's hard to believe. Born in Windsor. He's been in a lot of shit. Jeff Bezos. It's Bezos' birthday today. I bet you he's fucking spending a lot of money today on his birthday. He was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

How old is that motherfucker? He was born in 64, so you have to do some fancy math. He's like 69 years old. He's 60, isn't he? No, yeah, 60. He's 60. It's a big 6-0 this year. I thought he was older than that. I don't know anyone named Oliver, I don't think.

Jeff? No, Rob Zombie also got born today. Wow. We can fucking crank some of his shit later. Yeah, we'll crank that up. Is that his real last name? You figure he made that one up. Zombie. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's probably not his real name. I'm saying it's not his real name, Randy.

Because I don't know any zombies either. All of hers are no zombies. But... Zach De La Roca from Rage Against the Machine. Definitely cranked some rage. Cranked some rage against the machine, yeah. And Mel C, Sporty Spice. What was your favorite spice out of the spice garlic bowl? Yeah. And Mel C, Sporty Spice.

What was your favorite spice out of the spice? Garlic bowl. I'm not talking about the band, Spice Girls. What was your favorite? I don't know if I had one. They kind of annoyed me. Was there a Porsche Spice? A what? Porsche Spice?

Porsche Spice. Oh, I forget. Who's the, wasn't there one married to David Beckham? Yeah that was posh. It's posh, not Porsche. I like, I like that one. She's pretty nice. And what about, was there a Mel B in? Mel B, yeah she was the animal. She was like the crazy wild one. Yeah she looks like she's... And then there was the other one, the ginger, the red-haired woman who's hot. And then there was the sporty one. I think I read it was kiss a ginger day today. You know any gingers that need kissing?

No, man, I don't. Sarah's a ginger, isn't she? We should all go kiss Sarah. Oh, do you think she would be okay with that? Yeah, go kiss her. Plant one right on her lips, man. See what happens. I don't know about that one.

I hope she slaps you. She would kick the fuck out of you, man. You could fight, actually, you and her. I wouldn't want to fight Sarah. Oh, she's got a heart punch. Yeah. You don't have a punch.

You just, you're like a grappler. I got a good punch. No, you don't have a good punch. I think I've been working out, Julian. Can you tell? No, I can't. I think I look pretty good. I mean, this is ridiculous. This story here.

Pesticide company holds temple ceremony in honor of killed bugs. They do this every year. They think about it, you know, oh, these poor bugs we've killed,

we've got to have like this fucking ceremony to honor them. I think it's smart. So they've got a conscience over their bug murders. Well, I'm sure most of the employees

are like, what the fuck? Okay, I'm going to have some edibles and, you know, it's better than working. Well, if it wasn't for the bugs, they wouldn't even have a job.

But some people, if they see a spider in their house, instead of stomping on it, they'd pick it up, put it outside. So I don't know. Are you a picker-upper or are you a stomper? I'm kind of a mixture. What about you? 50-50.

I don't like to kill anything. I try to get them outside, but if they're being pricks, I... Except mice. I used to fucking try to save the mice. Now I'm like... Oh, man. I'm happy as fuck when I catch them. They fuck shit up.

You got them end scrolls. They drive shit up. You got them end scrolls. They drive me nuts. Got to get rid of them. And I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't honor bugs I've killed. Even though we do know somebody that was in the bug killing business, and he got all fucked in the head over it.

Yeah, he did. Because he was killing rodents. But he had to do some fucking weird shit. Yeah, he had to deal with a lot of weird shit, man. The worst was this mouse stuck his head through a rivet hole in a walk-in freezer, and then he died, and he had to go and remove it. Well, there's only really one way, isn't there? To yank it by the tail?

Or you've got to cut something off. You've got to cut it. That'd be easy to do, man. And he used to have to be a sniper to kill pigeons and stuff. Yeah, fucked them up, got inside his head. He got fucked up. So maybe this is helping some of these people out that they're, like, going, oh, that fucking cockroach I just killed, he has a family.

Yeah, and they could be thanking them, saying, thank you for being so multiple. Thank you for being there so you're giving me a job. So we could pay you and I can, yeah, pay my mortgage. All right, if you think about it that way, about you guys are making me eat, allowing me to eat. What's crazy? So you just have a ceremony when... This is weird. The bugs have killed their entire lives, boys.

I read one of these cards. The bugs have killed on my windshield. Fucking pick up your glass. I will, I will. Cockroaches are pretty amazing. Which of these facts is true? They can lift 100 times their body weight. What's an ant?

They can live nine days without their heads. They can hold 100 times their body weight. What's an ant? They can live 9 days without their heads. They can hold their breath for over an hour. The fastest cockroach is clocked at 7 miles per hour. What's the right answer? I'm gonna go with no head. No head. You read this already. No, I didn't, man. 9 days without their heads.

How can you live without a head? And you know what? I bet you they're still banging. That's how fucking crazy those bugs are. These guys that are killing bugs, they probably got to know that not to... It's a pesticide. It doesn't matter if you have a fucking head or not. You're dead.

You got bad breath. I got to get out of here. Hope that didn't offend you too much. It didn't. I'm going to go have some supper and then celebrate. You have a lovely fucking dinner. Fabulous, beastly men today. Okay.

It's going to be a night of Rob Zombie, Braids Against the Machine, we're getting drunk. And maybe a tiny bit of Spice Girls. One, two songs. Let's do it. You're not invited. I've had enough of you today. Hope that doesn't offend you as well.

I've got my own things to do. Definitely doesn't offend me. All right. Happy New Year, everybody. Happy New Year, everybody. You already said Happy New Year last week. Well, I didn't, so I'm saying it to everybody. All right. Happy New Year again, I guess.

Thanks for tuning in. Sorry that Randy was here. Fuck off. He's leaving now, though. Time to get. Get the fuck out of my trailer. All right. See ya.

You're looking good, Julio. See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to swearnet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys Swearnet app.