Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 35 - April F***kin' Fools

Episode Date: March 29, 2016

This week's podcast guest is legendary roadie, party machine and cat herder, Tom Mayhue! He talks about life on the road with Guns N' Roses, ladies, partying, and dealing with Donald Trump!  Ricky also tries to explain what April Fools' Day is! Episode 35 is brought to you by Jukasa vapor products. Jukasaaaaa!!  

Hey, boys, are we ready to get her going here? You guys ready? Yep. I'm very excited. 12 hours sleep. April fools. What? Ricky.

I'm going to be getting you guys all day. Still fucking drunk from last night. What? Ricky. That was so funny about that, man. Still fucking drunk from last night. Yeah, but that wasn't even funny, man. That was a terrible April Fool's joke. If you're going to do an April Fool's, man, there's got to be, like, a good setup, man. It's like, you know... Yeah, you can't just say, you know, a fact

and then instantly say April Fool's because you don't even give time to people to process. You know, that's an April Fool's because you don't even give time to people to process that it's an April Fool's joke. Alright. Alright, what the fuck's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. Number?

35. Number 35. I am very excited. It's not 35, is it? April Fool's. See how that went? That was better. Yeah, but is not 35, is it? April Fool's. See how that went? That was better. Yeah, but is it or isn't it?

Because that doesn't work. I don't know. You tell me. So if you're right, it's not a fucking very good joke. It's a terrible joke. See, Ricky, I know you're just trying to get me with another April Fool's now. Aren't you? Well, he's just being a dick wreck. What the...

Ricky, what are you doing? He just popped his rig open. Just didn't know what would be in there. It might jump out at me. What is it? It's a fucking egg or something. It's a chocolate egg. For the people that can't see this at home

or are just listening to the audio version, Ricky is dissecting a chocolate egg with a fork. All right. Can I announce who we have here? Just before we get into that, got to take care of some business. This is brought to you by Jocasa. Here, take a hole in that rig, bud. That's it.

Oh, yeah. That's a good one. That's a good rig? That's a good rig right That's a good rig? That's a good rig right there. Julian. What? He does this where he tries to trick the guests

into promoting, he's promoting this and he's getting money for it. Well, let's cut the whole shit. So you don't need to say anything that you don't want to say. It's all good. But is it actually good? It's fucking great.

Fuck. There's a little menu, man. You can make little drink kind of vapo things. It's good. They don't have any weed flavor ones down here yet. Are they coming out with them? The which? The weed flavor.

The weed flavor. There's no weed flavor. Oh, yeah, I know. I think they're getting into it. Now, listen, I'm promoting the fuckers. Now, talk about it a bit more, Bubbs. What do you know, man? It's getting into a bit of... I think they're gonna eventually be doing the weed side of it.

Right, okay. They're working on that right now. Stop talking about the stupid little fucking water pipe pen fucking things. Yes. Joining us today on the podcast, this guy's been with every fucking band you can name. One hell of a fucking parody machine. I'm still fucked up and he's fine somehow. Parody machine? Like, actually, what is your job title? Well, it started out as a drum roadie,

and then I became a bass roadie, and then a guitar roadie, and a keyboard roadie, and then I became a stage manager, then a production manager, and then a tour manager. So, pretty much any. So it's just like climbing the ranks. Yeah, it doesn't matter, you know, just whatever it does. You call it climbing the ranks, but the higher up you get,

the more shit you gotta deal with. I don't know if there's a benefit going up. I guess you get a little more money. That's about it. It's a lot more headaches. You get more people fucking with you, too. Oh, yeah, full time. So you're like a... I'm like a cat herder don't really have a job title.

I'm like a cat herder. A cat herder? I'm a cat herder. It's like herding cats, keeping all these creeps together, getting them where they need to go and whatnot. Oh, I thought you meant you were an actual cat herder and I was gonna have a fucking problem with that, let me tell you.

Because kitties should not be corralled or herded or kept, you know, contained and I thought that's what you were getting at. No, no. You weren't, so everything's good. Remember that commercial was on, had the people herding the cats on the horses, and you thought it was real and you were fucking pissed.

I don't remember that, Ricky. Yeah, it was a cool commercial. It was funny. What was it? They were herding cats, like cattle. It was for cat food, some cat food. Yeah, but Ricky, I knew that was just, that was just Hollywood effect.

All right, you seem pissed off anyway. I'm sorry to interrupt your cat herding talk. I'm just gonna go back to my egg. You guys keep talking there. Egg looks pretty good. That's what we gotta deal with, see this? Every fucking day. So tell us, tell the people now, some of the bands that you've worked with.

Because, you know, they might still be thinking you're talking about, you know, working with these little bands and stuff. Tell them who you work with. Well, I'm currently employed right now with a little rock band called Guns N' Roses. Been there 28 years for the kids. Holy fuck. Guns N' Roses. I met 28 years with the kids. Holy fuck.

Guns N' Roses. I met them back when they were so poor they couldn't pay attention. Ricky. Kind of like him. Ricky. Are you listening to what the man's saying? No.

Sorry, Gus. What were we talking about? He worked Guns N' Roses 28 fucking years. You were saying the last night, that's fucking amazing, man. Yeah. You must have some fucking stories. I bet those guys could party. I had a couple stories.

They were excellent partiers. Probably some of the best. What's the craziest fucking story you could tell about Guns N' Roses? Maybe one that nobody's ever heard. I mean, without pissing anybody off. Yeah. You know, I mean, there's a lot of them that I could tell, but I'd have to kill you guys afterwards because, you know...

Is that the order? There's names to protect and all of that kind of stuff. Okay, so just tell us the craziest one that people already know. Craziest one that people already know. Uh... Well, that would suck. Let me think of one that people don't know that I could say. Yeah, we want a fresh story, man.

All right. All right. Let me think about that a second. Let's continue, and I'm just going to blurt it out when it comes to me. All right. That's good. All right. That sounds good to me.

That sounds good to me. And what other bands? I know you've worked with tons of fucking bands. Oh, man, I've worked with Dallas Cooper, Seal, and Christina Aguilera. I've done work with probably 50 different bands. My first tour was back in 1982. I went on a tour with a French Canadian guy named Aldo Nova. Oh fuck yes.

I remember that ass man. Life is just a fantasy. It was his single. It's a good tune. Life is just a fantasy. It was a single. It's a good tune. It's just a fantasy. Can you make a fantasy line? It was a wicked fucking tune. And he was a pretty wild kid back then as well.

Had a few issues, you know, a few personal issues with substance abuse. Yeah. Did a lot of that. What kind of drugs was that? That was cocaine. Okay. And lots of it. He was all banged up all the way. Oh, he was banged up full time.

Was that his real name or what was the fucking deal? No, he was, uh... He's, uh... He's Italian and I think his real name is like Aldo Caparuccio or something like that. But, you know, Aldo Nova for short. Yeah, much better. Aldo Caparuccio. What about the ladies? Did this guy do good with the ladies? Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, hiso Nova for short. Yeah, much better. Aldo Caparuccio.

What about the ladies? Did this guy do good with the ladies? Oh, yeah, I mean, you know, it was back in the 80s, and all about women back then. You know, sex, drugs, and rock and roll, man. Wow. You're hitting it every night. So is that true?

You hear that all the time, sex, drugs, and rock and roll? Yes. Absolutely 100% true. It is? A lot of times. So you've been there, you got to experience all that shit, man. That's crazy. Oh, yeah.

And you're still alive. That's pretty... Nobody died. That's a good sign. Close. That is a good sign. But... Do you know when a rock show is about to start?

Yep. And, you know, it's... Everybody's in there hanging out and then... The lights go down and everybody fucking cheers because they know it's showtime. Oh, yeah. Who actually calls in the signal to turn out the lights? That's a job I think I would enjoy.

It's a good job. It's the production manager who does that. Not being a production manager, I call it some big shows and you got your little Motorola radio there. You see those little creeps walking around with those little plastic badges, backstage pass things. So he's got one of those on, usually following the band

or leading the band out to the stage, wherever to get them up there. And just before you get to the stage, you get on your little radio and you stand by on house lights. And you get everybody ready and you ask the kids, are you ready to go? And they'll give you a little nod

or a little tear falls out or something. And you go, okay. And go with house lights. And sure enough. That's the command. Let's go with house lights. See, I can do that. That's real cool.

Let's get back to the ladies and like what's going on. Like the party. No, this is interesting. Oh, curious about the fucking let's go with the lights thing. I want to hear about the parties, man. The parties are after the show. Okay. Never before.

It's all business. Most ladies in one room ever. It's kind of like a guy with a mullet. It's all business in the front and the parties in the rear. Never heard of that one before. So as soon as it's over. What is a mullet? Game on. It's a hairstyle. Yeah, I know what that is. I've heard of that one before. So as soon as it's over... What is a mullet?

Game on. It's a hairstyle. Oh, yeah, I know what that is. Like that Billy Ray Cyrus guy. Yeah, I know what a mullet is, but I thought it was a type of animal or something from the way you were talking about it. With the partying and stuff. Yeah, he's a bit of an animal. He party with Billy Ray?

No. No? Okay. What about his daughter? She's whooping it up pretty good. Did you go to the party with Billy Ray? No. No? Yeah. What about his daughter? Uh, she's whooping it up pretty good. She's out there, she's doing... She likes the party, doesn't she? Oh yeah.

She goes full time. She's wide open, is she? Oh yeah. All kinds of partying out here. See, I'd like to go to one of those parties. Those big crazy rock and roll parties. Where people are, you know... How many, what, like how many ladies in one room have you ever witnessed? Yeah.

No more than like a couple, three, four, five hundred. Three, four, five hundred? No more, like holy fuck, no more than a couple, three, four, five hundred, yeah. Three, four, five hundred ladies? That's a real number? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow.

Fuck, that is a party. Waiting to happen. Yeah, you're waiting for your, yeah, usually the pop crepes, they'll be like, oh, I don't like that one. You don't like the color of her hair or her boobs are too small or, you know, she could lose a few pounds

or something. It's crazy. So you just get a bunch back there. So you figure if you get a few hundred, you know. All right. But you've got to be in a pretty big band to be getting, you know. Some bands, they pull maybe two or three chicks. The bigger the band, the more amount of girls.

Two or three or four or five or five. And the same with the chicks that are on tour. They're pulling dudes back, too, aren't they? Why are you so interested about pulling dudes backstage? Bob's like, no, I'm saying the female performers, man. They're like, do they party like the guys? Yeah, but how come you're interested to know whether there's big groups of guys backstage at the shows?

I'm just curious. I've never seen anybody give out a pass to a dude. All right. at shows. I'm just curious. I've never seen anybody give out a pass to a dude. All right. That's all I wanted to know. It just doesn't work that way. It's very interesting in itself. Do you ever get any doggy bags?

What? Table scraps or leftovers? For me? Yeah. Doggy bags. Yeah, I might have seen a girl once or twice. Nice. Right on.

What did you mean, doggy bags, Ricky? Something to take home, you know? Something to mess about with. Have a little fun. Doggy bag. Ricky. Boys, I'm a little fucked up here, okay? A little party.

What's going on? I'm in a doggy bag. What is wrong with you? No, I meant, like, the leftovers, like, they had a big dinner of women. Oh, a dinner. They brought him home in a doggy bag because there was too much to go around. Fuck, I thought you were talking with something else, man.

No. No, he is. Oh, is he? He's talking about what you think he's talking about. You just said he wasn't. What are we talking about? No, you missed what he said. He said...

they had like a big dinner of women and they took him home a doggy bag. So he's still talking about... Getting a little shop scraps. Shop scraps. You guys ever, uh, you guys get any of those ladies over there at the park? Well, there's only, you know, a couple ladies in the park. Really? Yeah.

I think I've been with most of them. Yeah, me too. Oh, you heaven pups. I've done my share, believe me. Lucy and Sarah. You never got with Lucy, did you? No, Ricky, I never got with Lucy. Sarah? No, never, I never got with Lucy. Sarah?

No, I never... Barb? No, I never got with Barb. I'm talking about, you know, other ladies. Ones you don't even know. You told me you got to second base with Sarah one night. You guys were drinking. No, that wasn't second base.

Hands and fingers started wandering. Jesus! No, that wasn't second base. Hands and fingers started wandering. Jesus. Don't dip your pen in the company ink. I didn't. None of that. Ricky. Bad news.

All shit happens with drinking, you know. It's trouble. Ricky, that never happened. I don't know who's spreading those rumors. But I mean, yeah, if that happened, I would tell people. Believe me. You sure, bubs? I'm talking about all the other ladies in the park. That's who I've been getting down with over the years.

I'm digging this Jucaza stuff here. It's pretty good stuff, man. How long would you be on the road for, like, in a year? You know, sometimes... I worked for the rock group Dokken. Did about their first five and a half years. And we hit it pretty hard back then. We'd do, like, 11 and a half months.

Holy fuck. Come home for Christmas. And they usually have to get out of there like December 26th because you always have a New Year's Eve gig so you're going somewhere. Mainly though, for about the last 33 years, you do about 8 to 10 months on the road of the year.

That's a lot. You bounce from one band to the next one. As soon as these creeps are done, you just go to the next set of creeps and start doing their rigs. Just keep it going. That's a lot of traveling. A lot of traveling.

So you probably don't have kids, or if you do, I guess they're probably all over the world. Yeah, I got no kids. No, no time for it. I like kids and everything, but I got nephews, so I get to spoil them. Nice. Yeah.

Do you like Uncle Tom? That old joke, no kids that you know of. A for fools. Bob, that wasn't even- I know, I fucked that up, didn't I? Oh, okay, yeah, no kids that you know of. Got some nice stuff on your table. And then you said the April Fools part,

it all makes sense now. Buzz, you're not helping them out any, man. Ricky, what's April Fools mean? What's April Fools Day all about? It's fools. What do you mean? So it's like, you fool around, you know, you make jokes and do pranks, and then you say, April Fools.

So you do it for free, you get away with it that way. But only on that one day? Well, it's the only day you're allowed to get away with it and not go to jail, pretty much. Like, what do you think you can do on that one day? Well, it's the only day you're allowed to get away with it and not go to jail, pretty much. Like, what do you think you can do on April Fool's, Ricky? What do you think you have license to do? Pretty much anything.

Can't kill anyone, obviously, or rob a bank, but... But what have you done on April Fool's that's illegal? I'm just curious now. I ran a guy off the road one time. Did a pit maneuver. Ha-ha, April Fool's. That's illegal. I'm just curious now. I ran a guy off the road one time. Did a pit maneuver. I was like, ah, April Fools. Fuck you.

Holy fuck. Ricky, that's not an April Fools joke. That's not. Running someone off the road with a pit maneuver. He was pretty pissed off.

And it was afternoon. Apparently afternoon is not supposed to count anymore. So he was, yeah, he was not happy. I mean, he wasn't happy because you ran him off the fucking road and fucked up his car, Ricky. Not because he got on with the neighborhood fools, man.

Well, any other day, though, that would have been a crime, is my point. No, still a crime, Ricky. That's maybe the part you're not getting. You're lucky. Did he get your license, please? I didn't have one on. the part you're not getting. You're lucky. Did he get your license, please? I didn't have one on. Anyway, I like it. I like this day. It's my point.

We should go and have some fun. Fuck with people. I'm not being anywhere near you on April Fool's if you think you just got a license to do whatever you want. Well, I've never sucker punched anybody or anything like that. Cause I'm knocked out and I won't even hear the April Fools. So that would be fucked.

But again, see Ricky, that wouldn't be an April Fools joke. Walk up, sucker somebody and then say April Fools. Yeah, I guess. Cause they still get, it's not really a joke. They still get fucked over. But I've never done that anyway. Oh my God, Ricky, I didn't know any of this.

I don't think you should be allowed out of the house on April Fool's. I wouldn't be sitting here with you right now if I knew that's what you thought about April Fool's. Well, who gives a fuck anyway? It's stupid. Let's stop talking about it and let's ask Tom some more cool fucking questions. I got a good story about Guns N' right here we're down in uh india uh indianapolis we're playing at market square arena it's an old arena that they tore down there and uh you know the the up in canada you guys have in in high school do you have faa where you future farmers of america

people with the blue coats and a little patch on the back? I don't think so. Down in high school in the States, they got these things. So the band doesn't like anybody coming up on the stage at all, ever. So this girl, she gets up on the stage, and she's big. She's a big gal. She's probably 160 and she's big. She's a big gal. She's probably 160. She's built.

She's a big girl, farm girl. So we got this very laid-back guitar tech name. We call him Sport, but his real name is Wallace Porter Thompson III. So Sport, he's over there tuning. Sounds dignified. Totally. And he's over there tuning this guitar, and he sets it down Sport, he's over there. Sounds dignified. Totally. And he's over there tuning this guitar and he sets it down and he's like,

he just walks out on the stage to get this girl off the stage. This girl's a little bit scared. You know, she's all amped up because she worked her way up onto the deck with the guys. And next thing you know, she sees Sport and she turns around

and she kicks him in the nuts so hard lifts a little fell off the stage about good 12 inches just drops him all the spotlights in the building go right down on the guy the band's losing it they're laughing their ass off so I think one of the security guys came out help or the other techs came out and helped sport off the stage and then uh one of the security guys had to go out and get this girl into a full nelson on the deck and lift her feet up so she's all kicking and wobbling and they're walking by and we're taking her off stage right and she's flailing i mean just legs going everywhere she gets a hold of one of izzy's guitars and kicks it like 15 feet

finally we get her down the bottom of the stairs and we're like calm the fuck down just chill out just relax you know we don't want to hurt you she's like oh i'm sorry i just got excited for getting up there and you know it was a good story though man fucking lost her she lost her shit on murphy pretty god you could have been killed somebody could have definitely, well, somebody did get hurt. Took the little fighter, I think, about a week to recover from that. His package was all dented up.

His rig was fucking bent and whatnot. Man, that sucks. Kicked him in the bird. Oh, yeah. So if you're like the manager, are you the one that has to, you know, kind of do the work on it? And put creams on it and bandages or anything?

No. There'd be none of that. What, on the fellow's unit? You don't rub cream on another man's rig. It's one of the deals. No, but I just didn't know if that's one of the job things, you know, if you get paid money to do that sort of job. That should be one of the t-shirts they sell at the booth. You don't put cream on another man's rig.

Yeah. In or on? Oh, my God. Sweet baby Jesus. Where did that come from? I don't know. I don't know. Good Lord.

Ricky, why would you ask him that? You think he's going to be putting medication on the guy's unit? You don't know what I'm... He's way above that level. That's what I mean by the fucking high-end bands, man. They're paying people to do fucking all kinds of shit. No, but he's like one of the highest. He's way up here, Ricky.

They give that job to somebody... So there is someone that does it, then? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's called a doctor, Ricky. Not the production manager. Oh well, okay. At least we got to the bottom of it. Oh my God.

I wonder what he makes. How's that cocktail? It's pretty good, man. I'm getting a little low though. You're getting a little low. What do you got on your paper there, Ricky? I couldn't find much, because I got really too fucking hammered last night

and tossed out. But I found a couple of doozies. What you got on your paper there, Ricky? I couldn't find much, because I got really too fucking hammered last night and passed out. But I found a couple of doozies. Actually, it's pretty ironic, but they're about penises. Yeah, so do you guys want to talk about penises or not? We've already started, I guess we may as well keep going. What do you have, Ricky? A man with a bionic penis

lost his virginity at age 44. A Scottish dude, he got some kind of bionic penis, who lost his virginity at age 44. Some Scottish dude, he got some kind of bionic penis put on and a sex worker over there volunteered her time and boom! No longer a virgin his whole life. What do you mean bionic penis, Ricky? Oh, I'm assuming it's like, you know. And then prosthetic rigs.

It's robotic. Yeah, it's not real. It's like a robot. So it can probably do extra kinds of things, too. It's got one of those hand pumps included on it or something? Or what's going on?

I would say you could probably control it with a watch or something these days. Make it as big as you want. It could probably vibrate. So how did it go? It could probably have

heat or cool you. Anyway, he was very fucking happy. You think the apple eye penis is out there, do you? Where you can just control it right over the thing there? Foxy, there's where you'd make some money, wouldn't you? Especially all the, you know, guys with the tiny ones. They'd be lining up. Need one of those eye penises.

Let's go. 50 grand. Done. Oh, my God. That was fucked. Well, this guy, this other guy would want one. This is a fucking rugby player.

He got fucking hauled down by his penis in a tackle. Fucking almost ripped it right off. Need 11 stitches. He's all fucked up. He's going to play the second half. And he's looking down and he's going, oh, fuck. No, better get a doctor.

My fucking penis is hanging off. Holy shit. That would suck. So he's actually considering playing the second half. And it's just dang. And I thought, fuck, maybe I better check on it just in case. I'd like to know what the fuck was it doing hanging right out of his shorts during the game? You know, for somebody to grab it and pull it to the point where it almost rips off,

they wouldn't have had it over the fabric. Well, maybe somebody went in there, reached up and grabbed it. He refuses. He's so fucking tough, I guess, that he refuses to wear a fucking jock strap or a cup. And now the really funny thing is, now his penis is so back on, he says, I'm still never going to wear a fucking cap. Like once your penis has been pretty much ripped clean off your fucking body, might be a good day to start wearing a cap, but I don't know. Or stop playing, man.

Take it easy. Yeah, maybe don't play in sports where there's the possibility that my penis could get ripped off by someone's bare hand. Torn off my body. Maybe I'll play that sport. But who tackles a man by the grabs his cock and yanks him down on the ground? That's a strange talk. That's a dirty move, man. That is a, that's a pretty dirty move to,

I mean, to pull in a soccer game. You would be. In certain circumstances, that's probably just fine. You would be helpless. You'd just go in whatever direction it's pulled. Yeah, yeah, no, you got me. I'll go over there. I don't think probably the guy was leading him around the field by a record.

I think it probably happened real quick, you know, just like, pair, let it go. She almost came off. I wonder how much of a tug that took. Oh, 11 stitches worth. That's a hell of a tug. Maybe he got some nail or something in there and just kind of. The guy's lucky it wasn't Mike Tyson playing.

Cause you know what he does, bites things. He'd have bit that thing right off. You know, he'd have. He'd have taken that thing right off. You know, he'd have. He'd have taken more than 11 stitches. I don't think either one would be great, but, yeah, the bite would probably be worse because he'd probably bite a clean off then. Oh, the bite would be way worse.

Both of them would be fucking bad guys. They'd both be a horrible injury. It's being ripped off your body. Remember that lady Elaine Bobbitt that cut the rig off her husband? Yeah. Threw it out the window or something. They sewed that rig back on, I think.

And then he got offered a million dollars to be in a porno with his Frankenstein wiener. Did you watch it? Are they really? No, I've never seen it. Good God. Paid him a million dollars because he had a wiener like Frankenstein.

I think I would have shut me down on doing any time again with her. No, I'm out. For that reason, I'm out. Totally out. Shark tank. Yeah. Dragon's den. All right, so you're an American, right?

Yeah. Citizen, so. Since birth. What the fuck's going on with the Trump thing, man? Man, I'll tell you what. I've seen some fucking whack jobs, but nothing like this fucking tool.

Do you believe this guy's even fucking running for office and is being taken serious? I swear to God, if the guy wins the election, I'm moving to Canada. A lot of people are saying that. I want to come as a political refugee, because that ain't fair. It just ain't right.

He's a good businessman, though, isn't he? He's crap. He's bankrupted fucking four companies. The guy is just absolute shit. Absolute crap. And he's a fucking pervert, too. I was working for Christina Aguilera. We were doing a show in Branson, Missouri, and he bought that Miss America pageant.

So we'd go in there, and we're doing soundcheck and stuff, and I'd take Christina back to get dressed for the show. And here comes that old fucking hairpiece around the corner with, like, four of his security guards. And this fucking whack job, it's like one of his security guards. And this fucking whack job, it's like one of his security guys, well, Mr. Trump would like to meet Christina. And I'm like, for what? Well, like, it's Mr. Trump's show. And I go, she's getting dressed and ready for the show.

This is inappropriate and uncool. What does he want? They're like, well, you shouldn't be talking like that about Mr. Trump. I go, what? Like he's a fucking pervert? Stay the fucking away from her door or I'm going to call the fucking cops. I don't give a fuck about you little guys over there with your little fucking Trump security badges or, you know, fucking Paul Blart and Mall Cop fucking horse shit.

Fucking beat it. I just thought it was fucking really fucking uncool. Jesus Murphy. And what did they do? Did they fuck off? Yeah, after about ten minutes of milling around seeing if, you know,

if I'd changed my mind I'm like, I ain't changing my mind. Get the fuck out of here. Jesus Christ. What a sick prick he is. So yeah, I guess that's how you really feel.

He's inciting shit at his fucking... I saw that. He's telling people to beat up the protesters and he'll pay for the fucking... Legal fees. He'll pay for the legal fees. Can't do that. It ain't right.

It is pretty cool, but... It ain't right. No, but, Ricky, that's something that would happen at, you know, a fucking... WWF fucking gig or something. Yeah, like, Ricky, that's something that would happen at, you know, a fucking... WWF? Yeah, like a Jerry Springer episode or something. You know, the guy who might be the president of the United States, he can't be telling people,

oh, go kick the shit out of that guy. I'll pay for it. That's pretty nuts. He's talking about building a wall? That's interesting. Yeah. It's a pretty big wall. He thinks he's going to get the Mexican government to build a fucking wall,

keeping all the people out. Like they got the money to do it. I saw the ex-president from Mexico got on there, and he's like, fuck that guy. We ain't building shit. I don't know where the fuck this guy gets his information from, a comic book or whatever. Is that the only time you ever had an interaction with Mr. Trump?

No. Unfortunately, I had another one with him. I was with Guns N' Roses, and we were playing four nights at Madison Square Garden. And sure enough, that creep shows up there after the show. I just got Axl back into his dressing room and and the creep comes milling down the hallway and he fucking him and that other fake titted bitch he was married to marla maples and she fucking they come rolling up to his door and yeah i've kind of felt bad i hear a little you know a little knock on the door and i go over and open the door and shit, there's Carole King there, you know, legendary fucking songwriter,

one of the greatest, she was the greatest American songwriter in the history of the recording industry, you know, up till

like Diane Warren or Babyface Pastor with, you know, amounts of hit songs and everything. And so, I look outside and there's fucking

old fucking hair, hair rig and fucking marla fake tits and and the beautiful carol king there so i go back in i go just give me a minute i go back in until i actually go hey fucking trump and fucking marla maples are outside he's like fuck that dude and i go but hey carol king's out there he's like you fuck that dude. And I go, but hey, Carol King's out there. He's like, you got to be shitting me. So he fucking runs over.

He grabs the door, opens it up, grabs Carol King by her hand, pulls her into the dressing room. Trump's like, fucking slams the door right in his face. I'm like, me and Carol are like, yes. She fucking hates him too. So I don't know how the fuck this guy...

You know what, though, man? You watch. We haven't had a, you know, an assassination in America in a long time. This guy gets elected, I wouldn't put it surprised, you know, by somebody to see this guy get assassinated. Jesus, man.

That's fucking hardcore. He's a fucking whack job. We'll be in more wars than you can shake a stick out in a heartbeat. That's the thing, right? He's gonna want to fucking go to war with everybody. He says no, and he's a great negotiator. Guy's crap. He doesn't seem like he takes no for an answer, really.

He's like Julian's mother. I had to fit one in today, Julian. Was that on April Fools? That wasn't in April Fools, man. Yes, it was. No, it wasn't. I just didn't think I had to say it, because I thought you don't.

Oh, shit. Sorry, man. What the fuck is so freaky? April Fools. Huh? April Fools, man. That, man. April Fools. What the fuck is up, Ricky? Huh? April Fools, man. That wasn't in April Fools. Fuck!

I'm supposed to explode on you and blow chips all over your breasts. Thanks. What? What are you talking about, Ricky? I'm supposed to blow a pear. Did you call them breasts? See, you're supposed to call them pears. Oh, no, I get the mechanism, but did you call those breasts?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Did you call them breasts? See, you're supposed to compare them. Oh, no, I get the mechanism, but did you call those breasts?

I don't have breasts. Well, what do you call them? Idiots. It's a chest. I'm getting the fuck out of here. Well, some, I know, people have called them tits and stuff before. Breasts, what's the difference? Did I offend you by calling your tits breasts?

They're not breasts. Okay, well, I'm sorry. All right, do you like them? Technically, they are breasts, man breasts. Love the rig. All right, I'll give that to you for ten bucks. I'm going to have to take this with me out on the upcoming gun stage. You guys coming out to any shows?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, man, that would be fucking amazing. Pretty darn okay. Guns and Roses, what's been announced? Las Vegas? We got two nights in Vegas. Then we go over there to that Coachella thing.

Decent. Then we go back to L.A. right after the show, load up a scare plane with all the gear and fly down to Mexico City. We're going to do two stadium shows down there. Then we're going to load her back up and back, and do that other Coachella date. Jesus. See, that's rock star stuff.

That's some crazy shit. That's the kind of tour I want to be on. Maybe I'll come out. Come on out. Say hi. You guys are more than welcome. Boys love to see you. We'll make that happen.

Doing it. Good fun. Doing it. Heard it here. Doing it. All right, so Doing it. Heard it here. Doing it. All right, so you're going to take that? I'm going to take this rig.

Thanks for having me on the show, fellas. Thanks for being on. Greatly appreciate it. Thanks, man. 15 bucks. Jucasa, man. Thanks, man. Jucasa. Ricky.

Hi, Bob. You got a big bug on your shoulder. Jucasa. Dipper fools. Holy fuck, I, you got a big bug on your shoulder. It's a ginkgo. Dipper fools. Holy fuck, I got you good. What do you do? Oh, the look on your face. Thank you.