Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 36 - London Calling

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

The Boys are excited - they're going to London, England! Will Julian get to work out in an Olde English dungeon gym? They also discuss the worst ways to die, p*ss fights, and Wayne Gretzky's birthday. Plus: You've heard of Dick in a Box, now get ready for Randy in a Box! 

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. Ah, don't get too close. What the fuck are you doing? Fuck. Tickle, tickle. Man, this is a fucked up story right here, guys.

It's fucked up, but I think we might be able to make some money off this. It's that fucked. Are we gonna say hello? No, just a second. There's this chick. You don't wanna say hello? No, just a sec. There's a chick.

She's a Korean model, right? So she's cruising around the city with a cardboard box over her body with holes on the side, going up to people saying, hey, put your hands in here. She's naked underneath the grope away. And she's going up to everybody. Restaurants, here, put your hands in the holes. Is she on ecstasy? No. So it's almost like a portable glory hole.

It's like a portable glory hole. Look at her, she's happy as fuck. Come on, put your hands in the holes. And so you just reach in and grope? Grope, grope away, everybody's groping, man. And she's loving it, like it's really fucking weird. So what the fuck did you search to find out now? Just ways of making money. I'm thinking, here's the deal, we could do this with Randy.

Throw all you put in portable glory hole. See if there was one nearby. Just a sec, we got a video here. What are we doing with Randy? Who the fuck's going to put their hands in the box? People, okay, she's fucked up. See, look. Look at that.

Hands right in there, men and women. Putting their hands in the hole. Groping away. Did she make them wash their hands? No. See, she's just, she's doing it for views or something. Social media thing, right? She wants, like, more views or whatever.

She's getting them. That'll fucking do it. I mean, I've watched this a few times. But I'm thinking, Randy, throw a box over that big pile of shit. Throw them into, like, downtown Halifax. Everybody's drunk. Charge people to put their hands in their groin. That would be like Halloween when they put eggs in a bowl.

Do they make boxes that big? Yeah, you can get an old fucking... You can get a box at probably Costco from a washing machine or something. That should fit them. I've been thinking about it. Or a refrigerator. Throw that on that shithead. I'm saying five bucks a grope or grope by the minute. I've been thinking about it. Or a refrigerator. Throw that on that shithead. I'm saying like five bucks a grope

or grope by the minute. I don't know. What's the other one charging? Free. Free? Yeah, she's dumb. And she also got charged. So she's not doing anything.

She got charged with what? I don't know. Going out and fucking telling people to grope her body parts. That's not illegal. It is so. You can tell anybody you want to grope you body parts. That's not illegal. It is so. You can tell anybody you want to grope you. It's entrapment.

Okay, let me, okay. It's just a minor offense. She's probably just going to get, you know, a fine. Does it tell you what the charge is? Oh, she, oh, fuck. Up to $3,800 or one year in jail. Jesus. But if she went to jail, maybe bucks or one year in jail. Jesus. But if she went to jail, maybe she can take her box.

Make some money. Oh well, moving on. Do you want to say hi to everybody? Probably wouldn't hurt. Hi everybody. You guys gonna do it or what? Just want me to sit here and talk the whole fucking time? Yeah, I do.

All right, welcome to Park After Dark, everybody. What's the date? It's the 26th of January. Get this fucking month out of her face. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't that bad. It's been good, man, compared to other years because it hasn't snowed much.

I think it's fucking good. Going to fucking London, England tomorrow, bud. Oh, yeah, we are going to London, aren't we? If they'll let us in. If they'll let us in. If they'll let us in. And one good thing about this, I heard the hotel that we're seeing at, there's a fucking awesome old English pub right across the street. Oh, yeah?

That's where I'll be most of the time. It's true. I'm going to share the time between... There's several of them in the neighborhood. There in the gym? Is there a gym for you? There better be a gym. Old English gym.

Like old medieval gym. Picking up stones. Picking up stones and rocks. Stones and chains. Pushing horses around. That'll fucking do it, man. You get chained to the wall, you know. You gotta rip the fucking chains out of the wall.

You go to a dungeon in a castle. Basically, yeah. You know what, I was just reading something a little while ago on the most excruciating ways to die. Crucifixion's up there at number one. That would suck. I would think so. Because a lot of people think like, you know,

the big guy, whatever, it goes through the palm. No, it goes right through the fucking wrist. Yeah. You do that, your hands are just like going, ah, it's like lightning coming out of your fucking fingertips. How often was that a thing? A lot, man. Really?

It was a big thing, yeah. Excruciating came from the word crucifixion. Excruciate, crucifix. Because it's so fucking excruciatingly pain. It's fucking horrible. I'm getting burnt with a blowtorch. Burnt alive is number one. Nope.

That's vote number four. No. No? No, no, no, no. There's no way. No. Even the fucking, when they're in prison, they inject you with that shit to kill you.

That's a fucking painful ordeal. No, it's not. You're reading the wrong fucking thing. Nope. They did studies on it, man. They're saying it could take up to 14 fucking minutes for you to go down when they inject you with that shit. So now they're only doing the one injection, not the three. They're just saying, fuck it.

We're just going to go right for it. Huh. Because then when you're all fucking sleeping shit and they put the real shit in you, you're like half asleep going, holy fuck, this is painful. But you can't even. You can't react much because you're so fucking tired. Fucked. But you inside.

Tired? Makes you tired, does it? Well, yeah, it does. Holy fuck, am I ever exhausted? Oh, I feel like I could die, I'm so tired. This is sleepy and you're tired and you're fucked. Too tired to die. Too tired to die. Drowning, you don't want to do that either.

No, drowning would be horrific. They always used to say that was the best one, but now they're saying no. No. It's fucked. Being electrocuted, same thing. That just fucking fries the inside of you. Burned alive is the worst. I think getting burned where you don't die right away.

And then you die like a few days later. That would fucking suck. Yeah. All right, okay. I'm just saying. Crucified and bad, isn't it? It's bad. I wouldn't want that to happen to me.

What do you have to do to avoid that? Well, they really don't do it anymore, I don't think, unless you're in a bad fucking real bad neighborhood. But it's just bad, man, because you're just hanging there. You're constantly in pain because of the fucking shit they just, spikes they racked, you know, nailed you to. Well, you're hanging, right? You're hanging, but you're on a little, like a little pedestal.

Oh, are you? Until they fucking whack the spikes into your shins. Then they don't need that pedestal. That's not going to do much for you, man. So where are you fucking nailed down below? Right above the foot, man. Right through the ankles, I think. Right through the old Achilles tendon.

That would suck. Yeah, that wouldn't feel good at all. No, I mean, none of it's a good time, boys. Why are we talking about this shit? You brought it up! Well, you guys did something. You started talking about crucifying people. They're going to London, England tomorrow and they still have the guillotine, don't they?

They have all that stuff. Yeah. We're going to have to be careful over there. Well, I don't think the police are gonna do anything to you. It's just, I don't know, some crazy fuckers, though, that might throw you in the ditch. At least the police don't carry guns. Big fan of that.

They don't? The real police do. Oh, do they not? They never used to. Mm. Used to brag about it. They have the billy clubs, man. They like to beat the fuck out of people. They're good scrappers over there.

Those police officers, they're fucked. They can scrap. British cops have guns, don't they? Don't think so, man. They got clips. Well, that's a terrible idea. Well, it's keeping guns off the street, I guess. No, it's not.

Civil tolerance, no? I don't fucking know, man. You're gonna be more apt to have a gun if you know a cop doesn't. Well, maybe we should find a gun when we get there. Or two. Remember how we were talking about becoming tuna fishermen? Yeah. No.

Lots of money. Were we? Tons of money. We were pretty banged up. Yeah, but it's out of control now. Like, what's ten, six, How many fucking dollars in a pound? What do you mean? Like a British pound.

How many Canadian dollars? Two... something? Two twenty? Fuck off. Why? Yeah? I don't know if it's that much. I'll tell you exactly. Something like that. Okay, one Canadian dollar. One. One. One.

Two, a pound. What do you got? It's going to take me a second. Where's all my fucking options here? Jesus Christ. You're just painfully slow. This fucking Japanese chef paid 600,000 pounds. How much is one Canadian dollar in British pounds?

Got it, here we go. One US dollar. How much is one Canadian dollar in British pounds? 0.78 pounds. 0.58 pounds sterling. That's for Canadian. Right. So what you want in dollars.

I've got 1.35. No, fuck that. How many Canadian dollars is one British pound? $1.71. Holy fuck. It used to be up over two. So times 600,000 by 1.71. Just for shits and giggles.

You doing this? There's way too much fucking thinking going on. What is 600,000 times 1.71? 1,026,000. So if you caught one fish in the next 10 years, it's $1 million. What if you catch a fish a year? It's a million dollars a year. What if you catch one a month? It's $1,145 per pound. What?

And that's in pounds. And what is this for? What is this? This is for one fucking tuna. Over a million dollars. There's lots of fucking tunas off the coast of Nova Scotia, man. Let's go tuna fishing. That's fucking crazy.

There can't be 1,400 bucks a pound. There's something wrong there, man. 1,400 pounds per pound. There's something wrong there, man. 1,400 pounds per pound. Must be some special tuna. There's something wrong there because if you go for sushi, you know, you're not paying 1,400 pounds a pound. No, but this was like a special fish. Magic.

Special high-end sushi restaurant for special customers, so they must pay a lot of money. It was a magic fish. Must have been like Jack and the Beanstalk. Can you imagine if they're, like, catching these fish off our coast? Boys, we got to get out there. I mean, if you could... Yeah, if a certain fish, if you took a bite of it, you could fly for half an hour or something, maybe.

What? You could what? You could fly for half an hour or something, maybe. What? You could what? You could fly? If you could fly in powers for half an hour, it might be worth the money. Well, that's different. I'm not spending 1143 pounds per pound for a fucking fish. What are you talking about?

You eat the fish, you get flying powers? What the fuck are you talking about? I'm saying that would make it worth it. If you took a bite and you could fly for half hour. Did you guys hear about Cecil the Labradoodle? No, man. Pennsylvania? Ate four grand in cash off his fucking owner's counter.

Oh, my God. I would have wanted that dog. I don't know. Fucking nightmare. I love dogs. Not the dog's fault? Yeah, but how can you get over that? Why the fuck would he decide to eat bundles of cash?

50s and 100s. Somebody might have been touching it with peanut butter on their fingers. Ah, that's a good theory. They say that there's cocaine on every fucking bill in the United States. Maybe that's something... Used to be, not so much anymore. Really? Do dogs like cocaine? I know bears do.

Here's the really shitty part. They didn't want to just give up the four grand. So they gathered the parts of the bills from his vomit and his shite, washed them in a laundry tub. All right, I've got to think about would I do that or not. Had to reassemble them. Four grand's a lot of money. They actually got $3,500 back from the bank.

The bank says, as long as the serial number's intact. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh, well, there you go. What a fucking process that would be. Well, good for them, man. I mean, a lot of people just say, fuck that, it's gone. Like you said, would it be worth it?

Would it be worth it? You'd be out there just combing through shit with a fucking... Jacob and Corey would be out there combing through fucking shit, putting little dollar puzzles together. That's insane, man. It's a fucking... I can't imagine me at the laundry tub scrubbing shit off parts of bills and then taping them back together.

Actually, yeah, I can. Yeah, you can. Four grand's a lot of fucking money, man. Poor Cecil. At least he didn't fucking kill him. Fuck Cecil, man. What an expensive fucking meal. Listen to this.

Whale. No, keep guessing. It's a lyrebird. No. It's a cat. No. There's cats that can mimic birds. I don't know if yourebird. No. It's a cat. No. There's cats that can mimic birds. I don't know if you know that.

No. Give up? Yep. Hot chick. Whistling through her nose. What a fucking talent. She is from Canada. Guinness Book of World Records.

She's in the Guinness Book of... She's whistling through her nose right now. Can you imagine if that was your girlfriend. Yeah, I'd tell her to go get help. You'd be like, I don't know, man. Why would you want a girlfriend that can whistle to her nose? Because it'd be like, whistle something like a romantic tune or something. Here's the thing, she just had a child, and a child can also nose whistle. So she hopes the child can beat her world record. 44.1 decibels, that whistle.

I didn't know she could control the whistle. I thought she just whistled. Whistling out tunes, man. Right, I'm more impressed than I was when I read it. Why would you want a girlfriend that could whistle out tunes out of her nose? I think it would be cool if, you know, you do a little lovemaking and all of a sudden she's got this little romantic tune coming out of her mouth. A special little sex whistle for you?

I think it would be cool. I would love to be able to whistle. You mean if she's got her mouth full? Well, I mean, there's possibilities. Oh, I never thought about that. She can still whistle while she works. Yeah. Wow.

Oh, my God. Like Walt Disney. Oh, man. Walt Disney. I didn't know Walt Disney. Oh man. Walt Disney. Didn't know Walt Disney. Whistle will your work, man. It's like those little fuckers. Oh my goodness. Snow White or something?

I don't know, man. Maybe it's the wrong one. Snow White and the Seven-Nosed Whistlers. Yeah. It's a thing, man. Jesus Christ, I forgot about some of these. Well, let's just see how long we can stay silent, boys. We're not doing it.

I can't do that. Why not? It's just not a fun fucking time for me. I like to listen to noises or make noises or just be involved with some kind of noise, even if it's a whisper. What? You want us to start whispering to you? You like to be involved with noises? I like to make noise or hear noise

or just be involved with noise. Jesus, you know what? Housing these days is a real fucking problem, boys. Yeah, I've heard that. We've got to figure that out. There's a family, and they moved into a hotel suite permanently because it's saving them money. They've got like eight of them. They're all in this suite.

How is it saving them money? Because they're not paying rent. I don't fucking doubt it, you know that? They're paying $140 a day for the whole family to live in that one place compared to whatever the fuck they'd be paying for us. We're going to do something about it. Because you get your meals while they have a buffet. Clean the fucking place. Continental breakfast.

They got a gym. You're not paying a maid. They got a gym. This is why people are moving on to cruise ships for months at a time. What the fuck, man? Why is it so bad? You got all your food and booze.

You got your gym and you got your nice place to live. What's it cost to live on a cruise ship? I'm in. It's like you can get a cruise for like fucking $1,200 a month. A month? Yes. Yeah, man. And you're just cruising around.

I'm in. You're cruising around and you don't got to cook. You got the buffet every day, different meal, whatever you want. You don't have to do dishes, Ricky. See, you know what the problem is? Kids these days, they won't do what you would do or something that you would do, live in a shed, live in a car. They're fucked.

They just want to live with their parents. I know, man. Everywhere I go now, like all those places we visit, there's like tents, cities everywhere. There's fucking tents everywhere. There's tents all over our fucking cities. I know. I'm telling you, that's why sheds are the fucking future.

Sheds are the way to go. There's something to that, man. I'd rather live in a shed than a fucking tent. Tiny homes, sheds. Less upkeep. You buy less shit because there's nowhere to put it. Well, I buy, yeah, that's true. I don't have a lot of storage. I don't have a lot of storage.

You don't have a lot of storage. You got some shit. I got a drawer or two to put things in. You got a fucking closet in my room I wish you'd go through. I went to a country and I forget what it was, but a lot of the people live in these tiny little huts almost.

Yurts. Yurts. And they were happy as fuck. Yurts they're called, Ricky. They didn't need shit. That was enormous. We don't need this much luxury, boys. Like this is stupid they're called, Ricky. They didn't even see them. That was enormous. We don't need this much luxury, boys. Like, this is stupid. We should be, I mean...

I understand why. I mean, I wouldn't call this luxury. People go into debt. But it is nice. It's comfortable. I don't have a fucking tent. I might live in a goddamn... I might move into a trailer.

It's nuts. I might upgrade from a shed to a trailer. What do you think? I think you'd go crazy with all the space. Yeah, man. You'd be down at Value Village just fucking... I'd end up just living in the bedroom. Yeah.

Wouldn't even use the rest of it. Too much room. Makes me a mite nervous. Put a wall up. Makes me a mite nervous. You know what's fucked up? People have these, like, dreams. This old guy had a dream that there's gold way down below in his kitchen.

So this motherfucker dug a 40-meter deep hole in his kitchen trying to find gold. He saw that commercial for the insurance company. Was that it? See? Probably, where they're down below and they're yelling up to them, you're sitting on a gold mine. Well, that's what he thought, but guess what happened to the poor fucker? He died.

He got down there, he started his way up, fell, they found the poor old 71-year-old guy dead in his hole. No gold. Wow. Lying there in his puked feces. You gotta think that maybe his mind wasn't working out. It says he was lying there in his puke and feces. You gotta think that maybe his mind wasn't working on it. It says he was lying there in his puke and feces.

Well, that's kind of what happens when you fall that far, bud. You explode. You kind of explode and shit yourself and puke yourself up. I don't know, man. I bet you saw that commercial, you know what I mean? Insurance company or whatever, life insurance, and there's miners down, shows them sitting in their kitchen

and they're like, do you hear something? Goes down through the floor, couple miners down there going, you're sitting on a gold mine,

you don't know it. I bet you he saw that and he was a little, you know, a little off his rock or maybe a little senile and he saw that and he's like,

holy fuck. I can hear those cocksuckers under my house. Yeah. Or he watched, you know. Curse of Oak Island. He watched Oak Island too much. He thought there was a money pit down there. He thought there was a pit.

Why under his kitchen? Because he was fucked, obviously. He's 71, like, that's a his kitchen? Because he was fucked, obviously. He's 71. Like, that's a pretty big task to go 40 fucking meters down. Well, 40 meters is 120 feet. Let's be real. That's quite a dig. That's a good dig.

120 feet dig? Right down. Just a hole like this big. Like a manhole. If you only did a foot a day, you'd be there in a half year. Eh. How big was the hole? How wide?

It was about this wide. I'm going to start digging. Oh, that's it? Yeah, man. And he fell down there? Fell down, yeah. I think he would have bounced off the walls and slowed down. He was 71.

He was not the fucking... He should have just stuck his elbows out and he could have fucking ground himself down. I would love to see the video of him fucking going down because it was probably all the above. Oh yeah, he would have been bouncing. Yeah, his legs would have, his feet would have came right up to his ass. Yeah, he would have been a mess. He probably, yeah, I mean,

if they caught the walls on the way down, it would snap your leg right off, it would go right by you. I would suck seeing your leg go by. Yeah. You'd know you're not gonna land very well. Oh, if you saw your leg go by, you'd be like, I'm landing on my stump. It's gonna be a hard landing. Oh, my God.

See, I don't get this. This woman here, I mean, faith is a good thing, whatever, but Jehovah's Witness lady here, she sues her country for receiving life-saving blood transfusion against her will after a surgery. Yeah, those people are fucked. Like, it's like, you know, I'm getting a surgery.

I need blood. Like, what the fuck did she want them to do? She sued them because they put devil blood in her. And she lived. Right. They need to put her in a rowboat about four days before a hurricane's about to hit and say, good luck. Okay.

She was 53. That's what you think they have to do to hide a hurricane? She has a chance, but she doesn't deserve much of a chance. Yeah, they put nice fucking gorgeous new blood in her and she's complaining because it's devil blood. Yeah, I don't even know. Yeah, whatever. Well, that's why they think don't do it because the Lord didn't bless it and approve the blood. Same thing that happened to Bob Marley? Bob Marley, see? He'd be alive today making fucking good music.

If what? What did he fuck up with? He had an infection. If he didn't believe in some stupid fucking thing. Yeah, he wasn't allowed to get it treated. I thought he got shot. No, he had a toe infection or cancer or something, but he wasn't allowed to treat it with medicine.

The Lord was gonna to fix it. Ja. Ja got fucking busy doing something. Ja was probably right out of her. Yeah. Smoking something, and he forgot about Marilee's toe, and next thing you know, dead. Way too early.

Sucks. He was awesome. He does have a movie coming out, though. Well, the story of his life. I know that. I'm going to go see it. His son's in it, isn't he? Doesn't he play him?

Ziggy? Doesn't Ziggy play him? Ziggy could be in it, yeah. I think he plays Bob. He looks like him. It'd be funny to sit with him and call him Bob, wouldn't it? Bob? Bob Marley.

That would be fucking weird. Because you don't think of him as Bob. No. You think of him as Bob Marley. Or Marley That would be fucking weird Because you don't think of him as Bob No You think of him as Bob Marley Or Marley And it's like Hey Bob You want to go down

And get a fucking chicken Some chicken wings He's got a He's got a son named Julian Yeah Very cool I wrote him man On the Instagram

Did you Said nice name buddy Yeah you're trying to get Trying to get Trying to get name, buddy. Yeah, you're trying to get... Trying to get... Trying to get what? Trying to get something. I'm not trying to get anything. I'm just saying fucking hi to him, man.

Bob Murley. He's a legend. You're always in for something. You're always... You're going to try to get some kind of money out of this, Julian. If I would, I would say, hey, Julian, I know you've got lots of shit, so can you give me some of it? Like anything.

Anything Bob wore or whatever. That'll be the next message. That will, maybe. I didn't know this, you know the male lobsters often pee in each other's faces when fighting over females? They have a piss fight. Yeah, underwater piss games.

Yeah, how many times? It's underwater they do it. Oh, but it's not that effective. They're lobsters. I know, but they come up on land, don't they? Come up here. When they're caught. Oh, yeah. They're not like crabs.

Crabs, well, I don't know. Lobsters aren't just hanging out on the fucking beach. Well, it's just when the tide goes out. How many times have you and Randy had piss fights? I don't know if I want to talk about that. It wasn't over a female. No, it's been over everything. And it turned you on, which is the weird thing.

It did not turn me on. Maybe one of the other parodies involved. There's pictures. I don't know. Is there pictures of him? There's pictures of him. What's he doing? He's got something going on down there. During a piss fight.

He does not. Yeah, I promised I would never release them. But I should. You have pictures of him in a piss fight with Randy where he's got an erection. Both of them. Hard as fuck. Both of them. Not true. Ricky! I can't piss when I'm hurt, so you know he's lying.

Well, you wait for it to go down then you have a piss. But you... you did. Just when I was starting not to believe it was Christmas, listen to this fucking fact. Fuck, here we go. The only mammal that can see UV light is the reindeer. Oh. The plot thickens.

Yup. Okay, so... That's why Santa chose them. Why? Why? Why? It's a UV light. Yeah, but what's the advantage for Santa? Foggy.

They're good in the fog. They're good in the fog. I don't know. What's a UV light? See? You don't even fucking know, man. Ultraviolet, Ricky. It's still kind of cool.

So if they're looking at, you know, hot dogs under the warmers or whatever, they can see those better. Oh, yeah? Isn't that ultraviolet? $100 bill you rolled to this joint? That's a hundred. That was a lot of liquor involved there, my friend. Ricky. I was trying to teach Mo. No, it's Monopoly money.

That's not Monopoly money. Look. I was trying to teach Mo. Mo was a fucking waste of money, and I'm like, okay, Mo. I may as well just do this, right? Ricky, that is a $100 bill. I can't fucking light a $100 bill on fire. So according to you... No, feel it. It's just a... It was a life

lesson. It's a paper. It's not a paper. You know what? If there's a serial number, you're telling me that this is still... That's not a real $100 bill, you stupid bastard. But if that was a real $100 bill, we're talking about the dog shitting it up or whatever? Oh, yeah. If the serial number's... You take that into a bank and say, boom.

Just like that. Yeah. Here, I need... $100. Give me five 20s. For $107. It'll work. And if they say no, you tell them the story about the dog and the shit.

The shit dog. And the vomit. The shitting fucking... Shitting dog says something otherwise. Here's another weird fact. Female kangaroos will abandon their joey if they're being chased by a predator. Well, that's basically... Fuck my kids! Save myself!

Well, we've done the same thing with you in the car. We've been chased. We, like, pull over. Bubs, get the fuck out. That's different. No, what's different about it? Well, he's a human, and we're talking about kangaroos. Yeah, but I'm just saying kangaroos are like humans

because instead of there being a, you know, chance... I had a baby kangaroo one time. God damn it, he was nice. What'd you call him? Joey. Hmm. When the fuck did you have a baby kangaroo? I had one named Joey Ramone.

When? Years ago. There was a rumor there was some kangaroos living in the woods in Enfield for a little bit. There was an abandoned baby out by the airport, and I went and got him. A baby kangaroo. Joey Ramone his name was. Don't you remember? How come I, was I in jail when this happened?

Yeah. All right. I need some booze, so we're going to have to go to the liquor store. A couple more fun facts before we go. All right. Female tarantulas can live without water for two fucking years. We knew that. Believe it.

Did we? Yeah. We knew that. This is one I don't think anybody knew. I definitely did not. The pee of a camel comes out as thick as syrup. Yes.

Just a nice drizzle over Julian's lips. What makes it so fucking syrupy? They're dehydrated. Yeah, that's true. So, I mean, what color is this piss? It must be brown. It'd be fucking pretty dark, I would guess.

This is a fucking... Comes out as thick as syrup. Whoa. Very old corn syrup right in your lips. Female brown trout will fake orgasms to avoid inferior males. How the fuck do they know this? Because they study them. How do they know they're faking an orgasm? I didn't even know a trout

could have an orgasm. Because they follow them after they do it and then they follow them and they're like ha ha ha ha. Tracked them. Alright, wait now. How many animals can have an orgasm? All of them? I guess. Things we need to know. Yes, I never

wanted to be re-incarcerated as a fucking throat. Now maybe it's not that bad. I'm still getting organisms. Or you're faking them. A porcupine prepares his mate by peeing on them. So does Julian. Oh, man, I'm too dark. All right.

All right, that's it. No more animal facts, man. Let's quickly see who got worked on this fine day. We might need some music tonight. Palms in, get some salad dressing. Let's get some salads going. Eddie Van Halen. Okay.

Diddley, diddley, diddley, diddley. Oh, Bob, this is a big day for you, my friend. This is the birthday of the great one. We should watch some of Wayne's highlights. This is the birthday of... The Great One. Oh. We should watch some of Wayne's highlights. We should watch a Wayne highlight reel. Eating salads. Alan DeGeneres.

With Paul Newman dressing on it. Dancing like Alan. All right. Well, Zerakoli from The Jeffersons. We could watch an episode of that. I love The Jeffersons. Fucking rights. Oh, well, we're moving on up. Anita Baker. We could fucking rock a little jazz. Let's do that. Let episode of that. I love the Jeffersons. Fucking rights. Oh, well, we're moving on up.

Anita Baker could fucking rock a little jazz. Let's do that. Let's do that. Is that it? Vince Carter. I don't feel like watching this. Vince Carter. I don't want to watch anything he did.

Don't give a fuck. The great one. Right. Yeah. Going for the great one. Wayne Gertzky. All right. Sign off. Happy one. Wayne Gertzky. All right. Sign off.

Happy January 26th. Happy birthday, Wayne. January's almost over. See you fuckers in February if we don't die in England. Why would you? I'm not going. I was talking about you guys. Oh, my God.

Here we go. See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.