Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 36 - The Fackin' Cycle Of Life

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

January may be f**ked, but the Boys are having a good time in the trailer! Bubbles has entered Julian into a muscle contest, Julian wants to move to Japan and punch a sumo wrastler, and Ricky has some freakish stories about the worst funerals ever! Also: Why you shouldn't squirt expanding foam into your p*sshole!

That's the fucking A-Team, man. That was a great show. Mr. T. Bubs. What? Back to Earth, buddy. Come back down to Earth. You're fucking way out there in space, man. No, I'm out there.

You're out there, buddy. Oh, yes. Doing a little shuttle walk, are ya? No, I'm trying to... Shuttle walk? I have the word Diavolo in my head. Diavolo? Trying to figure out how to spell it and what it means. What is it? I think it means devil. I in my head. Diavolo. Trying to figure out how to spell it and what it means.

What is it? I think it means devil. I don't know. Diavolo. What Diablo is a car, isn't it? It's a devil. Diablo is a Lamborghini or something. You're a Diavolo?

Diavolo. I might change my name to Diavolo. Diavolo. I like it. Let's call you D. Yeah. I'll just call you D. Yeah, can we just call you D, man? Mr. D. Mr. D.

Mr. D. I can't believe it's January the 28th already, boys. Fucking thank God, man. We're getting through this winter. Only one month of hell left. January is a throwaway month. What do you mean? January, well, it doesn't get any of the love it deserves.

Who fucking- Everybody's like, just get this shitty month over with. Or January. You know what, I'm not a huge fan, I gotta say. Or February. February- Same thing. That's the worst month of the year, man.

Fuck February. Is this a lep year or no? It gets tossed onto the pile of cocks. Yeah, fuck February. January's not so bad because at least you start off with a good, you know, fucking drunk on. There's a 28 or 29 days

in the February this year. I would say... 28, man. There's a one and... There's a three and four chance it's 28. Is it a jump year? Might as well jump.

Jump! Go ahead and jump. 1984. So you know what, kids these days don't know what good music really is. Back in those days, the 80s, 90s, man. Back in my day? Back in those days, that's when fucking music was awesome. That's what, when David Lee Roth had skin tight pants on?

Kicking or doing kicks on stage, man. Scissor kicks. Fucking tight pants. You guys can't, that's all you get for fucking... Oh, I forgot. What? So you're always going on about... Cox? No I'm not. You finished my thought. No I'm seriously worried. You're always going on about, you know, being an entrepreneur. Yes. And you've got to, I've heard you say you've got to seize opportunities that make money.

Yeah, yeah. When they present themselves. What are you doing, man? Is it moldy? What's going on, Ricky? The glass smells funny. Because if you don't wash them properly, there's probably fucking mold growing in them, man. Yeah, we sort of wrapped your own penu.

Keep it going. So you always say when opportunities to make money present themselves, you've got to seize them. Seize it. Seize the day, my friend. Right? Yeah. Okay, so don't be mad.

All right, what the fuck did you do? I entered you in a muscle contact. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. At the Y. Nice. What the fuck? 100 bucks for muscle contest. No, no, no, no, no. At the Y. 100 bucks for biggest muscles. No, man. I would never do puffs.

You said. You know me. It's easy, 100 bucks. No, but that's just fucking no, man. You're in a muscle contest. Well, you're fucking going on stage. CTV's gonna be there, too. CTV's gonna be there. Fuck that.'s going to be there. With their camera. Fuck that. Jesus, bud.

Yeah. Get some soft tanner. No. And a bunch of oil. No, fuck that. Get you ready. But I am an entrepreneur, and you know what? I've been thinking a lot about this. The Japanese, man, they got their shit together.

Yeah. Yeah, but the muscle contest. No, fuck the muscle contest. There's a fucking person over there in Japan that bought a bus and now has this fucking thing that you can get on the bus for 64 bucks. They'll drive around for five fucking hours, and there's beds on this bus. It's a nap bus, and Buddy's making a killing.

Yeah, I've heard about that. I think we talked about it. You don't have that here, man. The Japanese, man, they got all these fucked up businesses, and they do well, man. Maybe we should go there. They also have, they don't use toilet paper. They're more civilized than we are.

They spray it? Yes, they use water. They're very, very particular with cleaning their earth. See, I'm all for it. Let's get the fucking... I saw a Japanese guy on TV talking about how North America is barbaric because all they do is just take paper and just basically smear the shit on your arse. It doesn't really get it totally clean, does it?

Well, not if you're just smearing it. And then you get the itch. Baby wipes. Baby wipes, that's different level. But it's not good for... But it's still not as good as... Glenfills, man. ...as the Toto toilet.

They also have panty machines. Toyo. Toyo or Toto? Toto. I think it's Toto toilets they use. Every fucking toilet over there is a Toto toilet. Well, maybe they should have that here. Let's fucking bring it on.

Didn't you say they have panty machines? Yes. Use panties. Yes, they do have those too, vending machines that sell soiled undergarments. So, I don't know. Maybe we got to fucking start examining what the fuck they're doing. I saw them with my own, I wouldn't believe it, but I saw them with my own eyes when I was in the Japan.

Well, we got to go to Japan, boy. You guys would love it. The writing's a little weird, isn't it? A little hard to understand. Oh, yes, Ricky. Obesity, that's way down over in Japan, right? Because you eat so much fucking... Well, yeah, they're not like, you know,

if you're walking around over there, it's not like walking around in Canada or the U.S. And if you do get really big, you fucking throw on one of those diaper things, you're walking around over there, it's not like walking around in Canada or the U.S. And if you do get really big, you fucking throw on one of those diaper things, you're a sumo wrestler. You'd be a sumo wrestler for sure over there. Randy could be a sumo wrestler. Kick some ass.

No, he wouldn't be good at sumo. No, man. They're fucking like 400 pounds or something. No, the sumo guys would pick him up like a little stick and throw him. Yeah, man. They would, Ricky. You got to see them. They're like big mountainous. They're like gods too, and throw him. Yeah, man. They would, Ricky. You've got to see them.

They're like big mountainous. They're like gods, too, aren't they? Yes, they are. Oh, man, they're getting money. They're getting banged. I wish I was one of them. Drunk. I'd love to see a sumo wrestler pick Julian up

and just fucking heave him. Yeah, that'd be wicked. Right out of the ring. Yeah, I wouldn't be fighting sumo. I would be going at them in a different way. Hard to do with a drink in your hand. Dancing around and fucking knocking them in the face and then... Very hard to defend yourself with a sumo when you got a drink, a mixed drink.

You hit them in the face, it's like hitting anybody else in the face. You gotta hit them right in the jaw, man. No, they're impervious to jaw strikes. They train. I gave one a right hook, they'd fucking fall back on their backs and shit their little diapers. They're not little diapers. That diaper would go around you. It would hold a ton. You could use that diaper like a baby swing.

Alright. I'd love to have a sumo diaper strapped to the ceiling and have Julian sitting in it just pushing him. Feeding him liquor. That's just fucked. I'm right out of her. Well, I know. You're talking about a fucking sumo wrestler diaper swing. That would be great.

You can fucking get a bed sheet and do it if you want it. Well, let's rig one up. Yeah. Right into the studs. We'll put it right into the studs so that Julian can swing from it. Jump around. No, not just me. I mean, let's test it out on, you should get in it.

I'm surprised we haven't set up a hammock in here, Rick. You love hammocks. There should be a hammock in here. Let's do it. All right. Sealing hammock? I don't know if we wanna fucking get into those studs up there, man.

They're pretty fucked. Most of this roof is rotted. The good thing is they're exposed. You can see them. You know what we need? We need metal, a metal fucking rod. Metal, a metal. I need you to get out your welder,

weld a fucking thing up there. No. We could probably put three hammocks up there. Imagine doing this show if we had three hammocks right now, just going, drinking, chilling out. Yeah, you'd turn yours into a sex hammock, though. Well, that's another good idea Vox wing it's like there's any brothels out there with hammocks like bang hammocks. Oh, it's gotta be

Yes, there's bang hammocks All right, so a lot of people been dying. Oh, that's a nice thing to fucking tell us good Good segue, Ricky. Nice one, man. Jesus. Man, we're laughing about it. What the fuck are people dying of? Don't say it. If you're going to bring up some fucking shit that we don't want to hear, what was I going to say? That is.

I'm not saying it. Well, I need to know before I say it. Did you guys put moonshine in my vodka bottle? Yeah, that's probably he was mixing up the swamp water with boozes of the fucking earth. I like nice, pure, clean vodka. That is... Moonshine is cleaner than the vodka, bud. Who's dying, Ricky? Bob.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, here we go again. Bob who? Sega? We, yes, we already had... Lou Anderson? Yeah. We didn't say that.

That was a... The Meat? The Meat. We got to meet The that. That was the... The Meat? The Meat. We got to meet The Meat. We hung out with The Meat. The Meat was a good man. The Meat was a... He was a bizarre dude, but he was a good fella.

They didn't say what happened to him, did they? COVID. COVID. See, we messed up something we should have. Really? Fuck it, yeah. Fuck. Yeah.

He didn't want to get the thing. Oh, man. Didn't know that. Well, that's just what the internet says. Who knows? That could be wrong. The internet's not always right, that's for sure. I don't know if it's because of all those people that died or what,

but there was this thing I saw. It was the top five funerals that went wrong. Okay, these should be good. How did they go wrong? Number one, casket that fell down a mountain. Whoa! Ooh, that's a bad one. The fuck?

Yep. What were they doing? October of 2020 in China, they were trying to haul a coffin up the slope with a rope, and the rope snapped. And the coffin went. It would open up and the body- They should have that on coffin flop. Have you ever seen that show coffin flop?

No, man. Here's the other shitty part. When it started flipping down the mountain, it hit three of the pallbearers and they all had to go to the hospital. Lucky it didn't kill somebody. Fuck, man. Imagine if it killed somebody and they went into the coffin

and it just kept rolling and then got buried and it's like, well, he's, I guess that saved the cost of his funeral. And this other twisted fuck, he didn't think his wife

and people loved him that much. Didn't think they'd give a fuck if he died, so he faked his own death. And he went to the funeral. He saw his wife. She wasn't really upset. She was kind of smiling and stuff. so he said, you little fucker.

Beat her with a cane. He beat her! Jesus, man. Yeah, it's not very nice. He beat her. And did he get caught beating her? Twisted fuck, I'm gonna fake my death to see if my wife's gonna be upset or she's not. So he faked his death and then he wasn't happy with the response, so he snapped.

It's a weird one, yeah. He's a fucking wacko. Is he in jail or did he get away? I hope he's fucking went to jail. That's fucking twisted. A bit psycho, man. He's a whack job. Yeah.

You can't fake your own death and then get pissed off if people aren't. Well, you know what? A lot of people would like to see the aftermath. Yeah, sure, but you can't get pissed off if people aren't doing it right. Apparently his kids were upset, so he didn't have to beat them. Okay, that's good you can't get pissed off if people aren't doing it right. Apparently his kids were upset so he didn't have to beat them. Okay, that's good. But people grieve

in different ways. Some people laugh when they're, that's the way they, you know. Who the fuck does that? Lots of people. I know people that laugh

when they're terrified. That's all they can do. When they're terrified or, you know, shit in their pants, all they can do is laugh hysterically. I've met two people like that. When they're terrified or, you know, shit in their pants, all they can do is laugh hysterically. I've met two people like that. And they're not laughing because they think something's funny.

They're laughing because that's... Is that when you take them and you go, snap out of it? It's not funny. Is that what you do? No, I don't know what you do, but I'm just telling you. That's what I would do. Just because somebody's laughing doesn't mean they find something funny. That is a fact.

She wasn't laughing for very long, I guess. It's a twisted fucking thing to do. You make your kids upset. Oh, tricked ya. Still alive. Just see if mom is being a bitch or not. Just see if mom's gonna be upset. Now I gotta beat her.

Terrible, terrible thing. Who else? What's the natural? His father and son died in a car accident on New Year's Eve in the UK. The funeral was supposed to play a nice little video

commemorating their life. Instead, they, a pornographic film was blown by accident. Why not? They accidentally rolled a porno.

Played for four minutes before they could figure out how to shut the fucking thing up. It wasn't him in it, was it? No. Oh, that would have been worse. Yeah, I didn't say what kind of porn it was.

It would have been awesome. If it was him, like, getting, you know, plowed by a German shepherd or something. Imagine it was porn where some guy was fucking an ashtray. Imagine that. This was a bad one, too. Guys do that. I don't want you to know.

He talked about it last week. Mozambique. I'm not sure where that is. But it's tradition to have beer at their funerals there. So this one funeral, the beer was contaminated, I guess. And it killed 69 people. Jesus. Put 196 in the hospital.

What was it contaminated with? It was... They killed 69 people? Yeah. Oh, my fuck. That's... Included in the mother of the child of the funeral. And that's not the worst one? the child of the funeral and that's not the worst one oh it's probably up there that should be no but that's not number one

oh that's way worse than the guy in a coffin being fucking doing a little sled that's a terrible fuck up that's a bad fuck what was in the beer poison well yeah but what kind? Oh, man, you know what? Arsenic? I remember, but I don't. Must have been like ricin or arsenic or... Some kind of rat poison. Probably rat poison. Rat poison wouldn't take out 69 people unless there was a lot of it. I forget what it was, but it was something. It would have to be one of the very... It was something surprising.

One of the very deadly ones. Ricin is what they used. Ricin, yeah, okay. Breaking Bad, that's how I know that one. Number one was actually 1915 in South Carolina. There was a funeral happening. The woman was buried. And her sister showed up late.

She's like, no, no, no, no. I didn't get to fucking see my sister. You got to dig her up. Oh, my Jesus. So I could see her one last time. So they dig her up, open the casket, and the fucking woman no, no, no. I didn't get to fucking see my sister. You got to dig her up. Oh, my Jesus. So I could see her one last time. So they dig her up, open the casket, and the fucking woman sat right up, smiling. Fucking right. How's it going?

No. No. No, no, I don't believe that. She lived for 47 more years. I don't fucking believe that. How did they bury her? Was she just sleeping? She was dead, but I don't know why she came.

She must have been in a coma or something, I guess. Well, they used to bury people with bells or something, didn't they? Like, ding-a-ding-a, if you fucking wake up. Hey, let me the fuck out. So it was like a common thing? There was a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a guy.

I think he was on David Letterman years ago, and he invented a coffin that had like a stovepipe that come up out of the ground, and there was a thing inside you could pull that would make a flag come out if you were still alive. So how did they fuck this up? And it could only be triggered from inside. And I remember David Letterman saying, is there a need for this?

Yeah. Is there a lot of instances where, and the guy said yes. Yes, there is. Get buried alive. Did you ever see that movie, Vanishedished with Kiefer Sutherland? Yes. I can't even think of it. Oh, man.

That would suck. Getting buried alive. Fucking scratching away. If I had to pick three of the most horrifying things that could happen to you, buried alive is one of them. It would suck.

What's number two? It would suck. What's number two? No, I'm buried alive might be number one. Although getting trapped in a drain pipe with your arms at your side and having rats licking at you. You gotta fucking hack your arm off?

No, like you're in a drain pipe. Just a pipe that's just big enough to fit in. Your arms are at your side. Stuck. You can't move and then a rat comes out and starts licking you. Starts chewing your lip. Yeah, starts biting on your lip.

That's when you try to bite them, like bite their head off. Yeah, but he's too quick. He just darts back and then he comes in. That would be bad, Bubz. Hopefully he'll never... Buried alive in that. What's the third one? Being strapped on a raft, naked,

covered in oil and put out to sea in the sun. Okay, that'd be bad. That's one of my worst. You're just laying on a raft covered in like Crisco oil. Jesus. And you got a tiny little puncture wound so you're dripping blood into the ocean. The shacks. No, that doesn't scare me. No. Birdseed on you for the seagulls to peck away at you?

Just the sun baking you. Just the sun? Cooking you to a crisp. Slowly. I think people like tearing, like, layers of skin off you. No, it would be like being in a slow roaster. You know, cooked. I've heard that if you take, like, strips of a t-shirt and put them in gasoline and put them on someone's back and light them, that's a really bad way to go, too.

Like, you're fucking burning someone to death. What the fuck, man? Of course. That's bad. That's bad. That's a bad one. You're just lighting someone on fire. Oh, yeah, I might have to say four.

Getting burned to death in a cage? Yeah, man. That would be bad. If you're on the raft that you were talking about, imagine you had fucking mirrors, big mirrors, pointing down, reflecting the sun. Oh, even worse. That's even worse man

yeah you're laying in a mirror dish they used to do that man twisted man the romans didn't they they had big fucking mirrors where the fuck would the romans get big no it's not they use mirrors from metals not the fucking actual but you polish it up boom you can, they fucking light ships on fire. I told you, man. I was watching this. It happens. I don't know, man. You were watching Gladiator documentaries? Yes, I was. Probably. What, you liked the movie Gladiator, didn't you?

Yes, I loved Gladiator. I just don't research them. Freedom! No, it's a different movie. I wasn't that movie, I just don't research them. Freedom! No, it's different movies. I wasn't at that, motherfucker. That wasn't that movie, Ricky. That was Braveheart. Still the same kind of deal. They're all the same.

Mel Gibson. It's people getting killed with swords, man, okay? So I know we're not supposed to talk about them, but... I was reading this thing about a rare COVID side effect now. Jesus. It's this excruciating penis pain. Excellent. Great.

Yeah. This guy went to the hospital. He's an Iranian man. He had the mild symptoms from the COVID, but his cock was fucked. He was trying to have sex with his woman, and he was just in excruciating pain. He went to the hospital, and I guess... Yeah, that's called fucking the dose.

That's what happened to him. He had a blood clot in his cock, right in the middle of his shaft. What? And it was caused by COVID, I guess. I guess COVID can cause blood clots in weird places. In your wiener. And it's not... There's like three or four cases, I guess, now, of cock COVID.

Three or four cases out of fucking one. Jesus fucking Lord. COVID. Three or four cases out of guess, now. Cock COVID. Three or four cases out of fucking one. COVID cock. Three or four cases out of a billion does not scare me. No, he had other fucking cock. I knock on wood. I don't want a blood clot in my wiener by any stretch. Couldn't he jerk the fucking thing out? The clot?

Yeah. I don't think. He required surgery. You can't get right out. You think you'd be able to hit it with a hammer and break it up? No, no, no, man. No, no. No, he had to get the surgery to it.

Fuck. Then this other, this was not a good idea. Oh, I got something to tell you. Next time you're thinking about doing this, don't. It's not going to end well. Okay. Doing what? This guy wanted to get a hard-on to keep his hard-on,

so he put, you know, that expanding foam. Oh, no. Decided to put that in his urefa. In his piss hole? Yeah. What? Didn't go well. Of course it didn't.

He couldn't get it out. He couldn't get it out. No, it was in sticky shit. Huh? What? Just wait. Why was he doing that? He wanted to fucking have an erection for a long time. And I guess he thought he'd just be able to pull the foam out when he was done. Oh, what a... He deserved it, man.

He was afraid to go get help because he was embarrassed. But finally, after a few weeks, he went to get help. A few weeks? He couldn't be. Oh, my Jesus. Oh, he'd have to drill down the center of it with a long drill bit to make a piss hole. No, they had to cut a hole between the scrotum and anus to extract the foam. Oh, it was taint. They ripped his taint open, pulled it out that way.

You know what? That's a good documentary right there. Can you imagine the three weeks? I'd like to see what his daily ritual would be. Get home from work, check out his cock, trying to yank it out with different things. No. He did try to use some different tools and nothing. See, I bet you over three weeks, he used a lot of different fucking tools. So how deep did he get it? Did he stick the nozzle right in his petal? Yep. How deep?

He didn't get for fucking measurements. Well, you'd only have to get her in a bit and then it was huge. Because that stuff comes out with force. What would... But if you laid on a drill press and got it right perfectly lined up with a long bit, you could drill it out.

You'd have to make sure you had the right size. If you went a little too big. Oh, Jesus, boys. Oh, yeah, you'd have to have a long, thin bit. You could put a hole in that to make, you know, make a piss hole, an artificial piss hole. Boys, you don't want to put a drill anywhere near your fucking jaw. You don't want to put fucking expanding foam near it either by once it's done. And there's things called fucking Viagra to take instead of fucking...

Exactly. Look, what was this guy thinking? I mean, good idea, but... It's not a good idea. Terrible idea, Ricky. It's horrible. You might as well have just put a couple of popsicle sticks on the outside. Right in there.

That's safer. Yeah, but if he would have put some sort of oil or cooking spray first, so it wouldn't stick. Oh, yeah. We're not talking about Pam throwing Pam into a fucking pan, man. Getting Pam and getting the little red extender from the WD-40. Put it in the Pam can. Just do a nice layer.

See, you know what? Because you mentioned Pam, there's probably sick fucks out there going, yeah, you know, it would work. You know what? I'm going to put Pam in my wiener. I'm going to get some Pam and Pam up my knob. Pam Dauber. Do you remember who that was?

Yeah. Who? I don't. Oh, fuckber. Do you remember who that was? Yeah. Who? I don't. Oh, fuck. This is going to drive me crazy, man. Pam Dauber. Who is it? It sounds familiar, but I don't have it.

She's from a 70s show or something, isn't she? WKRP? No. Fuck. MASH? No. Superwoman? No.

Was there a Superwoman? Pam Dauber. Pam Dauber. Ah, fuck. Don't know. Mark and Mindy. God damn it. That's not her. I Don't know. Mork and Mindy. God damn it. That's not her.

I was going to say Mork and fucking Mindy. I thought it was a different last name. I think I'm right. You are right. Pam Dauber. Mork and Mindy, right? Sounds right. Mork and Mindy.

And you know who Mork was. We know who Mork was, man. Mork for Mork. Yep. Nanu Nanu. Nanu Nanu. Fuck, he was a crazy bastard, wasn't he? He was.

And do you remember when Jonathan Winters came on? No. Remember he was the big man baby? He was aging the other way or something. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that. He was amazing. I see that fucking journalist got hit by the car when she was doing her broadcast. That was pretty fucked.

Yeah, she got lucky. What? Yeah, man. She's doing a little broadcast and all of a sudden she gets hit by a car. She's like, oh, just a second, getting hit by the car when she was doing her broadcast. That was pretty fucked. Yeah, she got lucky. What? Yeah, man. She's doing a little broadcast, and all of a sudden she gets hit by a car. So, oh, just a second, getting hit by a car. What? I never saw that. How fast was it going?

Well, he was drunk, I think. Crazy fast. I was thinking, yeah. It was killer, but it was the side of the mirror and shit hit her, you know? Just kind of fucked her over a little bit. Front fender. But she said, I'm getting hit by a car?

Yeah, I think so. I don't know if those were exact words. Something like that. She was a little surprised by it. Or I've been hit by a car. Because if she said, I'm getting hit by a car, he'd have to be going very slow. She was doing the news.

She was like, ah, we're getting hit by a car right now. And the car, Karen went down. The traffic was sort of being rerouted. I guess they didn't see her or something and just fucking clipped her. Jesus. She got lucky, bubs. Yeah.

Did we have a, we didn't have a toast to Louis Anderson, did we? We didn't. We have to have a toast. Toast. Yeah. To Mrs. Baskets. That was the greatest character ever. Cheers, guys.

Cheers. Cheers to Louis Anderson. Fuck yeah. To Baskets. God love him. That was one of the best characters ever. He played... Fucking brilliant.

He played Zach Galifianakis' mother, but he didn't change his voice and he didn't change his looks. Yeah, brilliant. He just went for it, man. He just... I'm his mother. Well, we talked about people dying. Now we can talk about who got born on January the 28th. How about that?

Okay. The cycle of life. John Banner. Who was that? He. The cycle of life. John Banner. Who's that? He was in Hogan's Heroes, Lone Ranger. Oh, John Banner. Hogan's Heroes. Alan Alda.

Alan Alda. Probably remember him. He was on MASH. He was a fantastic actor. Yeah. His real name was Alfonso. He's still alive, isn't he? De Bruyne.

He's alive, man. Alan Alda's still going. He must be. He's still alive, isn't he?...Dabruzzo. He's alive, man. Alan Alda's still going. He must be. He's got that mask. He's got that mask. Don't say otherwise. He's living large.

Imagine the royalties he gets. Oh, fuck. Is he still alive? The residuals he gets from mass. He was born in 36. He's getting up there. Really? Yeah.

36. Well, yeah, he's in his 80s. Four, yeah. He's in his 80s. Sarah McLachlan. Ooh. Sarah McL he's in his 80s. 34, yeah. He's in his 80s. Sarah McLachlan. Ooh. Sarah McLachlan from Halifax, Nova Scotia.

He's got a little crushy poo on her. Oh, I know. He used to go around and sing her songs when he was baked. Yeah. How many times did you try to get a hold of her, man? You went on this thing in jail. She's from Halifax. Didn't you say you danced with her one night at the bar?

It was either her or somebody that said it was her. Yeah, you also said you sold her weed, which you didn't. I keep telling you that. You didn't sell her weed. It's a bit of a gray area. Okay, yeah. In the arms of the angels. But her music, man, it's powerful stuff.

It is. Yeah. It is. They show those dogs. DJ Mugs. The SPCA, holy fuck. What? DJ Mugs.

Do we know him? DJ Mugs. Cypress Hill. Yeah, man. Okay. Cypress Hill. Are you fucking kidding me? Your mother was DJ Juggs, wasn't she?

Your mother liked to play around with Juggs. Just so you know. DJ Juggs. She liked it all, buddy. DJ Beef. DJ Suck. Who else do we got? Jackson Pollock.

Jackson Pollock? Yeah. I bet you... Do you know who he is, Ricky? Have you ever seen his paintings? Oh, no. See, I thought he was an actor. There is a Pollock. That's an actor, but this is a painter. Jackson Pollock's not. He was a painter. So he's an expressionist?

Yes. Yeah. If you saw his paintings, it would probably make you violent. You'd be so angry. He didn't fucking live very long. No, he was crazy. He was 44. Yeah, he was a wild man. His paintings, I think they're unbelievable.

I think they're amazing, but you would think that he just threw paint at it, and they're worth, I mean, his paintings are worth millions and millions and millions of dollars, but if you saw it, you'd be like, I could do that. What the fuck? I know you would say you could do it. Really? They're that easy? No, they're not. His are amazing, but you're the type of person that would say,

I could do that just by throwing buckets of paint at the wall. I heard you believe paint could be worth that much. Look up Jackson Pollock paintings. Can't, man. This fucking's not working. Paul Henderson. Oh, maybe it is. Paul Henderson. He scored a pretty famous goal.

Yes, he did score a famous goal. Henderson! He beat the Russians. With a stick? No, he scored the goal that beat them, won the game, game seven. That's pretty wild. The Canada-Russia summit. And Marnie McBean. Who? Marnie McBean. She was a pretty famous rower. She may have done other stuff. She was good at everything, I guess. Mernie McBean. Yeah. I think Julian had a crush on her, actually.

Oh, I did? I don't even know who the fuck she is. You would if you saw her. Really? She was a what? I know Mr. Bean. She was a rower, and I think she was into mountain biking. Was she related to Mr. Bean? First cousins. Mr. Bean was fucked. No, he wasn't a McBean. He was just a Bean. Yeah, he was just Mr. Bean was fucked. No, he wasn't a McBean, he was just a bean.

Nah, he was just Mr. Bean. He was fucked. Slowly getting this up. What the fuck are you looking at? Oh, Jackson Pollock paintings. Jackson Pollock, he was part fish. You got some prints here, man. Holy fuck. I was looking at $19.30 for this one.

$2.20, no, $260. And then you got one for fucking $441,000.30 for this one. $2.20, no, $260. And then you got one for fucking $441,000. Let's buy it. Fuck. What is it? It's a fucking painting. There's no way you can buy a Jackson Pollock painting for $400,000. What, they're more than that?

Yes. Unless it's this big, unless it was a doodle or something. Maybe it's a deal. We can buy it and then it'll be worth more. I could be wrong, but I'm sure all of his paintings are... Millsy? I mean, they were big. Unless it's some little thing that he just, you know, a sketch or something. But his big-ass paintings, like his big ones, are...

Millsy? Oh, they're over that. I wanna know now. So do I, man. And this is really slow fucking shit going on here. Yeah, you're over that. I want to know now. I want to know. So do I, man. And this is really slow fucking shit going on here. Yeah, you're not good at looking stuff up. Well, it's fucking thinking about it, whether it wants to do it or not. Just put into the Googler how much our Jackson Pollock paintings were. Fucking Googling, bubs.

And I'm waiting for the pictures to come up. Don't you have the changes to ask Stacy? Or not Stacy? We should get you down to the muscle contest. Yes. I'm not going to the muscle contest. Yes, you are. At least come with me.

Soft tannin and the oil out. At least come with me. We'll stop a Canadian tire, get some muscle shine. Oh, man. Let's get you down there. That's not the way it works, all right? I heard a lot of them use WD-40. In their piss holes.

All right. I can't get this up. Get're fucked. In their piss holes. All right. I can't get this up. Let's go down and get some foam. We'll get some foam expanding spray. Put little slits. Yeah. Just shoot it in your arm. You know what we're going to do?

Just expand. Let's eat some Mondays at the fucking Legion. No, what is it? Today's Friday, isn't it? Holy fuck, boys. I thought today was Monday. You're fucked. When's the Friday?

What are they serving there on Fridays? Where? Legion. Legion. Fish sticks. Let's go. I thought today was Monday. You're fucked. When's the Friday? What are they serving there on Fridays? Where? Legion. Fish sticks. Let's go. Fuck it. All right, we're out of here. Fish sticks.

Are we out of here? We're out of here, man. I'm getting a hot dog. Oh, that's what I wanted to tell you. What? Hot dogs. I'm going to ruin your life right now. Don't do it, man.

Uh-oh. Don't do it. Uh-oh. There's a company that took like a bunch of random hot dogs Don't do it, man. from companies in America and they just put a slit in them,

cut them, and then looked at them in a microscope. You wouldn't believe what's in the fucking things. Hair. There's tons of little hairs in them. Shards of glass.

Fucking, oh my God. It looks like a fucking- Really? It looks like a dump site and they're right in the hot dogs, like right in the- Okay, are you ever gonna eat a hot dog again? Nope, I'm done. See, and now why would you do that to Ricky and I?

Because I don't want you eating hair and glass. It's one of my favorite foods, me too, man. I gotta show you the video, oh, it's unbelievable. No, I'm not seeing the video. Little fucking like- You know what, we're going to Legion, I'm not seeing the video. Little fucking like... You know what? We're going to Legion. Old worm bodies, like worm, like where they molted out of their shells.

Time to go, pops. Worm carcasses. Time to go. Load. No, yeah. So they're not healthy. Go get a hot dog. Hot dogs for life.