Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 37 - Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

Randy's stinking out the trailer today - but he's got some intel on Bubbles' new "friend" Pat! He learns about the five-baby-momma banging machine, AI girlfriends, and how the Boys split up one of the greatest bands of all time. Plus: Ricky brings more f**ked animal facts!

To watch the video of Park After Dark, go to SwearNet.com or go to the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. Welcome boys, welcome. We're here at Park After Dark. Episode what? I don't fucking know what episode it is, man. Who's keeping track? So you're here again. Yeah, what is going on, man? I bumped into Bubz and he just asked me to stop in and fill in for him today. I haven't seen a whole lot of Bubz.

Like, what's going on? Well, you know, he was out with that friend of his again. You know? The person? The person? Nice leather jacket. Lots of zippers. The person's name is Pat, so...

Oh, fuck. Could be Patricia, could be Patrick. Okay, what kind of cut was the leather jacket? Was it like a little bomber one? Was it a long trench coat? No, it wasn't long. It was short. Came down.

About to hit me. Did it have buttons on it? Did the buttons go to this way or did they go that way? Some buttons, like one of those little flaps with the button right there on each side. Really kind of cool. I liked it. Seems like a nice person, but... Still not sure, man. What's going on there? Oh, well, who cares?

Yeah, who gives a fuck, eh? Are you guys jealous? Maybe... Jealous? No, I just miss my friend a little bit. He doesn't really talk about what the hell's happening. Hopefully he's happy. It's personal life. It's dating life.

He doesn't, like, I don't even know if this is a date. I don't know if he's just like a friend or a... No idea. It's good to have lots of friends, though, you know? It's a good thing. He's just very secretive. He never used to be. Oh, wow.

Good for him, I guess. Hopefully there's either, I don't know, wedding bells in the future, maybe? Wedding bells? Holy frino. Why not? He's happy. Hopefully he's getting his little wang smacked around. Or he's having a good old buddy time. One or the other. Don't know. Well, I'm just happy to be here with you two.

But you know what? I'm not going to say that I like seeing you here, but I'm not going to diss you. I'm in a good Wow, I'm just happy to be here with you two. But you know what? I'm not gonna say that I like seeing you here, but I'm not gonna diss you. I'm in a good mood, you know? I'm still fucking trying real hard to not make fun of you. Well, not make fun of you, just beat you up. Yeah, I don't know where I stand on this whole you filling in thing, but.

I fucking hate it, to tell you the truth, but I'm gonna still be nice to you. Okay, that's nice. I can't but... I fucking hate it, to tell you the truth, but I'm going to still be nice to you. Okay, that's nice. I can't promise that I'll be nice, but I'm trying not to be too mean. You know what? Being nice, actually, Ricky.

Well, one thing you've got to do is take a fucking shower, please. The stink meter is just going over the halfway point right now. I'm not liking it. All right, well, I just finished doing some... Throw some cologne on. I was working out Julian. I was working out and I probably should have showered. What were you working out on?

I was doing some, some, some crunches. You should do burpees. Burpees are hard. Yeah. What about planks? I got some of them in the shed. Is there anything living there? Does someone, like, make a nest in there?

I don't have lice. Come on now. Is there, like, an entrance or an exit to that? Snowshoe hare living in there. Snowshoe hare? Yeah, they could be. You would see it. They're white, aren't they?

I have nothing living on. Well, I mean, everybody's got some stuff. Microorganisms in your bed, actually. Microorganisms on everything, Randy. Or whatever, you know. On everything. Your skin, it's dry in the winter. I mean, I'm starting, my nose is really dry.

And the skin's peeling. So, if you're in bed, then there's these little tiny critters and they feed off that. See, this is what Bubbles doesn't understand when he does this to us. I don't give a fuck about anything that comes out of his mouth, really. You know what I mean? It's a fair point, Julian.

It's just all blah, blah, blah, blah. Who gives a fuck? Say something with substance, man. We don't give a fuck about your skin or your microorganisms. Whenever you talk, it'll sort of just be blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Do. Blah, blah, blah.

Do you have anything for us? Anything you can teach the people out there? Did you come prepare anything? Well, I don't know. I didn't, but, you know, I didn't. It was last minute, me coming in here. Okay. You know?

I don't know. Julian, why don't you give some of your grooming techniques? You know? People will be interested in how you're so handsome. I'm not going to give you grooming techniques. All right, check this guy out. You know Nick Cannon? You know who that guy is? He used to be in Mariah Carey and a bunch of others. People will be interested in how you're fucking techniques. All right, check this guy out. You know Nick Cannon? You know who that guy is?

Used to be on Mariah Carey and a bunch of others. He's got like 12 or 14 kids. There's a guy. 14 kids? Yeah, he's got something like 14 kids or something. It's up there. Wow. It's in the teens or whatever.

Anyway, there's this other guy. He's 22 years old. I've got that right here. No way. He gets five women pregnant at the same time. And he talked them all into having like one big joint baby shower together. Like how? This guy's smooth.

This guy right here, he's a smooth operator. He's a musician in New York City. Yeah, 22. That's it, man. It's very fertile. And they all seem to sort of get along. You know what? He's going to end up with a lot of kids. If he's got five at once...

You know what? And they're all beautiful women. Like this guy. This guy. I look up to this guy. Well, he's handsome, too. I mean, not... The five kids is a little too much at once. That's... I would lose my fucking mind if that happened. Oh, Jesus. But he probably had a good fucking dime. It's a lot of fucking

baby support. Very fertile. F a good fucking time. It's a lot of fucking baby support. Very fertile, fertile fucking things going on. He's going to start making some serious coin. He's a banging machine. That's going to be, when all the babies are born at the same time, very close, that's going to be trouble, Julian. Well, it's going to make things like Christmases. You better be out there working. Fucking expensive.

Expensive. Oh, fuck that. Hopefully he's not a little deadbeat dad. Kind of looks like he's got his shit together. I mean, look at him. He's standing there. He's got the ladies all around him, man. He's like, yeah, I did this.

Yeah, he's proud of it. And they're all like, man, we got played. Yeah, there's going to be some fighting going on there's i mean once the hormones really start kicking in because of pregnancy and shit they probably want to fucking rip the guy's face off all right he's smooth though you can tell at the moment everything's okay remember the uh six-legged spaniel dog we were talking about a while back six-legged dogs? Yeah. Where were the extra legs? In the front or the back?

Or in the front? They were in the front, right? I think they were in the middle, but I don't remember. Oh, really? Anyway, he had two of the fucking things removed and he's doing fantastic. Why'd they remove his legs? Just two of them. He had six. Yeah, but I mean... It's too much.

It's just... That's entertainment. That's a nice dog. Yeah, but he's just fucking running around like a normal dog now. He's happy as fuck. Well done. They raised some money, went through surgery. Now he's got four legs. He's normal. Oh. See, you know, back in the old days, people were smart because they would have taken a dog like that and made millions of dollars off him. Town to town, check out my fucking centipede dog.

Traveling freak show. Traveling freak show, man. Which is, I mean, it's kind of fucked, really. Did you guys see a picture of him? Yeah. Yeah, we did, man. With like the middle legs as long as the other legs and stuff? He was a weird looking little fucker.

Yeah, he was having a little trouble getting around, too. Now he's running around like a fucking lunatic. That's pretty cool. Have you seen... We need to get into AI-generated girlfriends. It's making some serious fucking money, man. Making people like tens of thousands of dollars a month. Have you seen Lexi Love?

Oh, man. Pull her up. Don't get me started. $30,000 a month she's making. Why are we not in this business? Rick, I already have her pulled up. Don't get me started. 30,000 a month she's making. Like, why are we not in this business? Rick, I already have her pulled up. What is she doing? Because she, I mean, she's not real.

She's not real. Well, holy fuck. You like a blonde lady? She's not real. No. 30 grand a month she's making. She's making 30 grand. Only dudes.

30 dudes have tried to propose to her. Like what? She. People are fucked. How can you fall in love with an AI generated fucking. Because she can talk and flirt and she does it all. But she. But she's not real.

She's not like. You can't. You can't do anything with her man. You can just talk with her. I mean. Some people. You've got a girlfriend. You her, man. You can just talk with her. I mean, you've got a girlfriend. You want to, like, you know, make it official. So these guys are just giving money.

I mean, they think that's official. So people out there, you're giving these things, these images that talk, that look hot, money. They're not real. You're fucking stupid. Right, but why are you not doing it? I'm going to do it. Okay. I'm just going to figure this.

Bubbles would fucking sit down and explain all this AI shit to me. Chad GPT or whatever. Is that what it is? Yeah. Get that going, man. Bubbles can do this. There was a movie. Remember that movie with Tom Cruise?

Movie where he came home at the end of the day and then it was like a... Top Gun? Not Top Gun, no. Risky Business? No, but it was like there was AI, like he had... Difficult Mission? Their own girlfriends or something. Difficult Mission?

I don't think that was it. It's Impossible Mission, man. No, it was like, I don't know if it was that report movie or something. Mission Impossible? What is it? What the fuck? You know what? Anyway. Tom Cruise could fuck right off. What I'm saying, Julian, is that it was, instead of just a picture, it was like a hologram

of a real... And he was banging the hologram, wasn't he? I think the technology allowed this hologram to bang him, I think. Because it's fucking a movie, Randy. If it's a hologram, he's still banging air. It's a movie. Oh.

You go up to bang it, you're just, you know, flinging your dick in the air. Good point, good point. Another snake on a plane in fucking Thailand. Oh, man. Jesus Christ, that would fucking freak me the fuck out. I would not like that. God. What happens if they...

It was up in the luggage compartment overhead. Is it from a passenger bringing it on? Don't think. I think the little fucker snuck it on somewhere, huh? You know what else they're talking about? All the fucking luggage. When you go to an airport, you go through security. It goes through that fucking x-ray thing.

Huh? Radiation, man. There's, like, radiation and everything. They throw the bags up above you. The whole fucking plane is full of radiation. I don't know, man. I think it's going to end up fucking us one of these days. Don't know.

Maybe it's getting paranoid. Radiation is not good for you, Randy. No, it wouldn't be, I don't think. Did you guys hear about this fucking Reese Witherspoon bullshit? No, man. I do like her, Randy. No, it wouldn't be, I don't think. Did you guys hear about this fucking Reese Witherspoon bullshit? No, man. I do like her though. She fucking went outside, it snowed, she took two coffee cups, got some snow off her fucking

outdoor grill or whatever, and she put some iced cappuccino and some caramel, salted caramel, some chocolate sauce, and drank it, said it was delicious, and people fucking came aboard her because there's fucking toxins in the air man you're one of them i ate snow my whole life no same with me but yeah but look at us we're kind of fucked aren't we yeah i guess you just don't eat yellow snow people like

why why what if a bird shit in that or there's all kinds of impurities fucking acid rain and shit man there's like microwave it was clear so Fucking acid rain and shit, man. She said she microwaves the snow and it was clear. That microwave's not going to do fuck all to it, man. There's something like ice curbs that have good snow. I guess my point is

who gives a fuck? Why is this even in the news? Because people like her, she gets into the wine, she goes out and says, I'm going to make a fucking TikTok, whatever. I'm going to drink it

and she probably woke up the next morning sick. Or not sick, but looking dumb. Don't want to eat the snow, man. I'm going to drink it, and she probably woke up the next morning sick. Or not sick, but looking dumb. Don't want to eat the snow, man. I don't think it's that bad. I would eat the snow. No, I wouldn't eat. Nah, maybe up north, maybe eat the snow.

Sometimes, yeah, yeah. I'd fucking not on a glacier, though. They even make vodka out of some of those glaciers. You'd fuck on a glacier? Nah, like E21. Oh, okay. That's like fucking good. I've had, yeah, I've had like an iceberg ice in my drink.

Yeah, man. Millions of years old, Ricky. Thousands, but close enough. Thousands? Okay. I thought the ice age happened millions of years ago. Yeah, but you've got to go down layers to get to the millions of years ago, you fucking dumb. But it's still before any impurity, so.

Yeah, it's before the impurities. Clean as fuck is what it is. Oh, there's still volcanoes. They kick gas up in there. Gas in the air, Julian. They even shut out the sun. Never thought about volcanoes. Never thought about... Yeah.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe there's nothing good on this fucking planet anymore. Sometimes I add a few good cents, Julian. Ah. I can't few good cents, Julian. Ah. I can't believe it's fucking February. Fuck. Well, let's just get the shittiest month of the year out of here. You're right.

It is the worst fucking month. I don't like to make... Is it a leap year this year? I think it might be. Yeah, it is, man. Yeah. It is? Yeah, it is.

30 days. 30 days. 30 days in February. Huh? 29? Whatever it is. That means that summer will be one day longer, right? If you add it all in. So check this out, man.

This Brazilian dude, he's like, oh, partying, right? Rocking out on New Year's Eve. Drugs? He fucking thinks he's getting, like, someoneying, right? Rocking out on New Year's Eve. Drugs? Fucking thinks he's getting, like, someone threw a rock at him. Yeah. So he's like, fuck, that sucked. So he ends up partying for four more days, which is good. But then he found out he had a fucking bullet in his head.

He shot in the head and didn't realize it. He shot him, but he kept hurt. I mean, that's something I could see you doing, man. Yeah, well, I mean, if you've got the right buzz on, you're not going to pay attention to a gunshot wound. You're not going to feel it, man. You can't feel your brain anyway. Was it like a pellet gun?

It was a fucking bullet, man. A pellet gun's not going to get embedded into your skull, man. Like, right in there, in your brain. It must have been. It was in his brain? It's a fucking pretty big slug. Holy shit. Like, what the fuck?

Didn't he have a headache or anything? He had a buzz on. See, that's the beauty of drugs and alcohol. He must have been on a really good combination. He was fucking. And by the angle of it, I mean, if he was standing up, maybe someone shot up, you know, the bullet comes down. Maybe that's what happened.

Ah. So when you look at this, is it like that, do you think that's in the middle, or do you think it's just on like on the side? It's right in the fucking middle, man. It's right down there. That's not a 3D picture, Julian. He's going to have brain damage, I would think, a little bit.

He just put some ice on the wound, celebrated New Year's, like nothing else happened, man. And then he drove 300 kilometers home, so he was drinking and driving most likely he fucking banged up with a bullet in his head he's probably on tequila yeah i wonder if he got pulled over would he get you could probably get off the drinking and driving thing couldn't you it's like dude take a look at my fucking head a fucking bullet in there i don't know what i'm doing i'm fucked up right now you probably could. I want to party with that guy. So do I, man. What's his name?

What would you call it? Shot and driving? Drinking? He's 21. He's partying. He's got a nice looking skull, though. Look at the shape. That's why he's okay.

He's 21. If I got shot in the fucking head on New Year's, I wouldn't be still walking around. No, I'd be. I would have went for a sleep and probably never woke up. You got pretty thick hair, though. It might bounce it off a bit. It would slow it down.

Yeah. That's freaking crazy, Julian. Holy. All right, this is a pretty cool fucking story. I've never heard of this before. I don't know why they should make a movie about this. They will. They might.

A guy named Frank Hayes, he's the only jockey to win a horse race while dead. The guy, he always wanted to be... What the fuck would the movie be like if he's dead?

Like, Weekend at Bernie's jockey audition? See, it can be based on a true story. You can put all kinds of crazy shit before that. As long as it gets to this and there's some truth.

So what happened? He had a heart attack, I guess, during the race? Well, let me tell you. This guy, he was a stable boy, an apprentice jockey, always wanted to be a jockey. Got his chance, got on the horse, got a fucking heart attack, the horse crossing

line first. In his first race? Yep. He was on a horse called Sweet Kiss. Sweet Kisses. Sweet Kiss of Death. Yep. It was the only race, the only time this has ever happened in the world, man, ever. I would hope. It shouldn't be very common. But I don't know.

I mean, lots of people could fucking die on a horse. So he's got a world record for dying. Well, he's probably in the Guinness Book of Records, yeah, but he's fucking dead, so it doesn't matter. That's a really sad story, is what that is. This was in New York. You know what? It's mixed, because he finally got to achieve his goal.

Unfortunately, he didn't survive to enjoy it. He died. Yeah. Well, maybe, you know, his family probably got a good payout. Well, he made some money, so good on you, Frank. It's too bad he couldn't cross the finish line and then die, so at least he could enjoy it for a couple seconds. Well, you know how they say, you fucking die, you float up a little while, you're watching.

So he was probably, like, up in the clouds a little bit, looked down, go, you know how they say you fucking die, you float up a little while, you're watching. So he was probably up in the clouds a little bit, looked down, go, holy fuck, come on, come on, come on. Or he was just dead. Or he just died. I wouldn't think that a jockey, I thought they were in good shape to have a heart attack. You know, high cholesterol maybe.

Who fucking knows, man? I don't know. Why don't you contact his family and check into his diet? Contact the Hayes family and ask what the fuck happened. They should do some studies on him, though. You should just do something. Bring something to the table, Randy. I did, remember? Icebergs and then water. I've still got a few fun facts here.

Good, man. This is, you know a sperm whale? Oh yeah, they're big. He decided that he's gonna sleep vertically. Heard about that shit. I didn't. Sleep with their nose right up. Wow.

Why do they call them sperm whales? That's what I wanna know. I guess they must look like a sperm, I don't know. But they're not white, are they white? I don't know. What do you call the white whales? They're good eating. Are they called belugas? They're called fucking sperm whales.

No, the white whales. I think they are belugas. Yeah. Check out the big... You ever see Elf, the movie there with Will Ferrell? He had the big whales. They have a big horn that come out like a unicorn whale. Narwhal, isn't it?

Ricky, how do you know all this stuff? Where the fuck? Where did that come from, man? I have no idea. What the freak? I'm having flashbacks from elementary school. That's from... Wow.

Pretty impressed, man. That's what drugs do to you. So what they sleep... Tucks stuff away, and then when you least expect it, it brings it back. How on the freak can they sleep this way? I don't know. How do they just not sink? Like, if they're asleep.

Air. Air, oxygen. Some air, but... Inside. Makes them float, man. Well, I don't understand that. It's pretty trippy to be just floating. Some air. Inside. Makes them float, man. Well, I don't understand that. It's pretty trippy to be just floating. That would be awesome.

Like, is there air hole out of the water when they sleep? It must be. How would they? That's a fucking, that's a pretty good question. Pretty cool. Remains of seven-foot penguins have been found. Imagine dealing with one of those little cocksuckers. Seven feet?

Seven-foot penguin. That's a big penguin. They could have been fucked. They could play basketball. Oh, yeah. That's a tall penguin. I don't think you'd want to fuck with one, though. No.

They've got claws, man. Penguins can be little vicious fuckers. The seven-foot, he's taking you the fuck out. I think they could fight a shark if it's that big, couldn't they? Or something. Something trying to kill them. Jesus Christ. This poor motherfucker.

Get in, rest in battle. Man undergoes penis enlargement procedure. Sues doctor after organ shrinks. He had this fucking, he paid a bunch of money to get his dick bigger, right? Goes in, gets out. His dick actually comes out being a centimeter shorter. So, Buddy's taking the doctor to court to sue him for $16,500. Like, that's not even, that's not much money, man. He should have went full tilt because now everybody knows this guy.

It's here. They're talking about it. Well, now it's going to be in the news. It's going to be harder for him to get dates. Well, unless they want to... Hey, you heard your date in tiny penis. Oh. They promised him an extra 1.1 inches

in both length and girth. What girth is that? Put after two botched procedures. Like, you don't want one procedure, let alone two, man. He ended up with one less than a centimeter missing. Fuck. So he went backwards.

He should get the money. He should have just left it alone. Yeah, that's true. And plus, he was left with a shorter, severely scarred sexual organ. Oh, fuck. What would you do if you saw something like that? I would probably just tell the guy, you know, it's too bad, you know? Too bad.

What, would you like give him a Hallmark card? Or, well, you just console him and just pat him on the shoulder and maybe give him a cheeseburger. But would someone not want to touch, like, a scarred cock? I don't know. I don not want to touch, like, a scarred cock? I don't know. I don't want to touch just something different. Is there something intriguing about it? French ticklers? I don't know, man.

I'm just saying. I'm trying to help this guy out. Like, he's probably pretty fucking depressed. I would say so, you know. Say something to this guy out there. Sorry that your penis got shrunk, sir. He's a banker. He's a wealthy banker. See, that even makes it worse.

Because this guy's got all kinds of money, now he's got a shorter dick and it's scarred. Well, I mean, he could probably go buy some toys, some sex toys, just... Buy some... Right? What kind of a life is that, man? Well, take up pleasuring other people, you know? All right. Be a good lover. There's still hope. Still hope for you, sir.

His name is Leiter. Leiter. Good luck. That's all I gotta say, man. Okay. His penis is lighter. All right, moving off from... Did you guys know that the human femur is stronger than concrete? I did not. Did not know. I knew someone that broke it. How do they test that?

Man. That's in your leg, right? Your leg bone? Yeah, the big dirty cock sucker. Tall, long one. How can it be stronger than concrete? They know. They must have did some tests, man.

I wonder if Bubz knew this. Cats can safely drink seawater. Oh, fucking shit. That's pretty fucked up. That's fucked, man. Oh, the different oceans have different levels of salt in the water, that's for sure. There are millions of billions of ants

in the world. That's a fucking lie. Yeah, man. Ants are fucking... They can eat your whole house, man. Millions of billions, did you say? Yeah. Yeah, and they're hard to kill. If you can't find that queen mama, you're fucked.

This is something I bet you wish you could do, Randy. Turtles can breathe through their asses. Really? That could come in handy. You know what you should do? There's a test you can do. You put a snorkel up your arse, tape up your mouth and your nose, and see if you can make it happen.

You should try that later. Humans aren't turtles. But if he burped, it would taste like shit. That's the problem. An owl does not have eyeballs. I didn't turtles. But if he burped, it would taste like shit. That's the problem. An owl does not have eyeballs. I didn't know that. What?

What the fuck is it? Just a flat piece of something? Well, they do look flat, man. Yeah, don't have eyeballs. Yeah, that's why they just move their heads like almost completely around, right? Because they don't got a fucking eyeball to go. This is something else. I'm learning a lot here, man.

This is a weird thing. Male bedbugs. Oh, fuck. Hey, see? We'll stab the female's abdomen and ejaculate directly into her body cavity. Wow. That's fucking aggressive. To produce more bedbugs?

Yeah. Wow. Jab them. What do they get, like a pointy knob? Must. Wow. They jab them. What do they get, like a pointy knob? Must be like a fucking needle dick. Like a needle dick, man, for sure. A spear dick. The sloth only poops once a week.

Lucky fuckers. It's probably real slow, too, because they're slow. Well, I mean, why are they lucky? That's fucking weird, man. Yeah. And they're sloths. They can shit anywhere they want. Love to shit once a week.

I think they live mainly in trees, so they just hang on the tree. This is something that you might be able to do because you're kind of shaped the exact same. Manatees can control their buoyancy by farting. No way. can you do that that's like a submarine is a manatee

a type of whale or is it just they're just straight up something else you know like a big fucking yeah there's

I mean they're like a sea cow isn't it it's a sea cow man yeah I don't know what department they fall in they're in do they live in the ocean?

They're in the fuck fresh water. No, they're oceanic. They're mammals. They're mammals, man. Wow. They have titty milk. That's crazy. Also, staying on the ferret train.

God, there's a lot of them. The herring fish communicates through ferrets. No way. That's fucked up. Wow. I wish we could do that. Can you imagine if that's your job? Yeah, we just finished a study on fish.

Communicate by fart. Those guys, those scientists must be baked in their fucking minds nonstop, man. Got a fucking tank full of herring and just listen to them farting. You'd see, well, they must be bubbles, right? Yeah, I don't know how it all works. Fish have fur bubbles?

Bubbles or squirt meats and stuff or something. I don't know, man. Yeah. I don't fucking know. See, you got born on February 2. Tommy Smothers from the Smothers Brothers. Is that the one that just died? He did. How'd you know that? I was all over the place, man. I used to.

I liked those guys. Graham Nash from Crosby, Stills & Nash. We may or may not have led to the band's breakup one night in Amsterdam. We kind of did. Really? They never played together after that night. No, they were pretty pissed off we were there. Well, Crosby was.

Yeah, poor David Crosby is no longer with us. Yeah, he's here with us. He's no longer with us but he did not like us that night. Graham, Graham Nash and Stephen Stills

invited us on stage and they didn't tell Crosby and he fucking lost it. Yeah. They were fighting. Like they got pretty much in a fist fight. Yeah.

Then they went out and did the encore like nothing happened. It was pretty. We came backstage and we're going to fucking kill each other. Yeah. But you know what? Holy fuck. Then they went out and did the encore, like nothing happened. It was pretty... We came backstage and we're going to fucking kill each other. Yeah.

But you know what? Holy frick. We were baked out of our minds, maybe a little drunk when this happened. It was pretty entertaining, man. I've got to say. It was something.

Farrah Fawcett, you win. She was married to the six million dollar man at one time. Lee Majors, you are correct, and Ryan... No, Brent Spiner. The guy that plays Data in Star Trek.

We've run into him. He's a fucking super nice... Data's one of the nicest people I've ever met, man. I love that character. Good taste in music, too. Smart. He's really smart. Ross Valerie, the rock bassist from Journey.

Oh, Journey. Some good romantic... Dwayne Chapman. Dog. Dog. The dog. Christy Brinkley. All right. Oh, Journey. Some good romantic. Dwayne Chapman. Dog. Dog. The dog. Christy Brinkley. Holy fuck.

Fairfoss and Christy Brinkley were born on the same day. It's a good day to be born if you're a woman. It's so pretty. Very pretty. Beautiful women. Robert DeLeo, bass player from Stone Temple Pilots. Fucking love that band. We'll be cranking some of them tonight.

Me too. Shakira. Oh, yeah. And our little buddy Jordan Tutu. Jordan Tutu. Tutu? Who calls his wang a flipper. A flipper.

Interesting. He's been drunk with Jordan in the past. He's a beauty. Almost got kicked off a golf course. Cheers, Jordan. It's been a long time. Cheers, Jordan. It's been drunk with Jordan in the past. Yeah, he's a fucking, he's a beauty. Almost got kicked off a golf course. Cheers, Jordan. It's been a long time. Cheers, Jordan. It's been a long time, man. I have not met Jordan, but happy birthday. Yeah, yeah, he was, we were crazy on the golf cart.

They didn't like it. Why is this penis a flipper? Oh, John McKay from Earth, Wind & Fire. Hmm? All right, we got some music to crank tonight. I said, why is this penis a flipper, though? I don't fucking know, man. That's just what was referred to as.

He was young, right? Oh, man. You guys are going to have a good party? That's great. Can I come? Shakira. No. You're not invited tonight, Randy.

Stay away or else you'll be thrown out. I think we should watch Vacation tonight. Vacation? Yep. With Chevy Chase? And Christie Brinkley. Nice. In the Ferrari.

All right. I kind of really want to come now. No, you're not going to come anywhere near us tonight. You go on your own tonight. Do whatever you got to do. Oh, yeah, I will. Baby, you know what you should do? Do some surveillance on Bubbles.

Go find out what he's doing. Get back to us. Well, I need to go to the grocery store and the liquor store. And I need to get away from this guy because he's not smelling that great. And Randy, this is probably the last time we're ever gonna see you on a park after Derek's,

so I'm just gonna be nice and thank you for joining us. It was fun today. Yes, thank you. And I learned. It wasn't bad. I learned. You didn't have to fuck all the shit, but I'm sure, you know, people want to see you.

That's great. Don't let the bedbugs pierce your abdomen and ejaculate in you. And take a fucking shower, man. Okay, holy frick. Jesus Christ. See you, everybody. They always say don't let the bedbugs bite. It's like, no, there's worse something they could do.

They could fucking harpoon you with their pincocks and impregnate you. Don't let the bedbugs fuck your abdomen. Fuck you, bugs. All right, that's it. Cheers, motherfuckers, everybody. Something they could do. They could fucking harpoon you with their pincocks and impregnate you. Fuck your ad then. Fuck you, Bugs. Alright, that's it. Cheers, motherfuckers. Cheers, everybody. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com

or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.