Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 37 - Space Weed

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

The Boys are back from tour and they're still f**ked up from the liquor and gummies! Today's topics include crash test pigs, castaway cows, banana art, and a f**ked place to store your credit cards. Plus: Ricky applies for his dream job at NASA!

Gentlemen, to the table please. What? Get the fuck up here, Ricky. I don't got all day to fuck around. I'm not ready yet, man. Well. Way, way, way too comfortable, man, to move. Well, get up or I'm coming back there and pissing on you. Oh, man, seriously, we gotta do this right now?

Ricky, I've got things to do today. I got commitments. Oh, fuck. And I've gotta piss too, and I will put it all over your chest and your neck. God damn it. You move and then I'll move. Julian, I'll piss on you too., and then I'll move. Julian,

I'll piss on you too. Don't think I won't. No, you will not. I will piss right in your fucking, right in the top of your head.

You piss on me, and I will glass you. I swear to fuck. You wouldn't glass me. Let's go. Big day. Park after dark. Welcome to the

park after dark. Very enthusiastic. More like the park after dark. Very enthusiastic. More like the park after tour. I'm still fucked from tour, man. I'm tired, man. That was... That takes a lot out of you, huh? What does? It was awesome.

Going on tour and drinking... Well, when you're drunk 24 hours a day, it does. There's just so much booze, man. A lot of booze. Tons and tons of dope. But you'd think when we got home we would have chilled. We haven't stopped. How many gummies do you think you ate on that tour, Ricky?

Be honest. Packs? Okay, packs. How many packs of gummies with ten in each one? Eight, maybe? No, it was more than that. How about, like, 25, 30? Packs?

Yeah. 30 packs. Ricky ate six packs in one night. How many eight did I remember? You ate six packs in one night. How was I? You were fucked. You're like a... I don't know, it's kind of like a turnip.

I had fun, but we should have taken a break when we got home. No kidding. We just kept it going like idiots. Oh, I didn't. I took a turnip. I had fun, but we should've taken a break when we got home. No kidding. Instead we just kept it going like idiots. Oh, I didn't, I took a little break. What hour of sleep last night, bubs? Hey, I haven't been sleeping good. Where did you get this coat? I went shopping.

With the money that you robbed from people. I did. With your greasy. Again, I didn't fucking rob anything. You said all the money you were making from that greasy extravaganza bullshit was for a Christmas party. Yeah.

Show me the cash for the Christmas party. It is... I've got it. It's in my trailer. And it's going towards the Christmas party. I'm already trying to find a good price on some booze. And my daughter said that you ripped me off. Nope.

I didn't rip you off, man. She said that I got fucked on the book sales because I gave you guys 40% each. I talked to an accountant yesterday. I tried to tell you that on stage and it was a bad deal. I got things fucked up, all right? I was talking to an accountant yesterday. He told me about buying some clothes, expensing them. It's all good for fucking taxes, man.

You don't pay taxes. Well, that's the thing. If I have all these, they're called ITCs or something. Yes. Then you get the money back and if you don't have, if Well, that's the thing. If I have all these, they're called ITCs or something. Yes. Then you get the money back and if you don't have, if you're not making any money, then you just get that money back. Oh, so you're not only not paying taxes, you're gonna start making money on your taxes. Exactly.

So if you guys have any, like, receipts or something, give them to me. No, I'll use them myself. My own. Do you have a company? I opened up a company. What's it called? Julian Limited. Julian Limited.

That's a great name, man. How'd you come up with that name? I had to put something in there. Julian Limited. I could have put a numbered company, but I forgot. I'm finally feeling a little better. How come you guys didn't get sick from the tour? Well, because Ricky, I-

Booze, buddy. Fuckin' Jesus, man. Booze could kill anything. I had this chest infection, sore throat, cock was feeling a bit weird, diarrhea. It's been a nightmare. Ricky, I don't wanna hear about your- It's probably from all the gummies, man.

You just can't all of a sudden just live off of gummies. But they're so good because you feel like happy time, and then all of a sudden you're like, whoa, I need to go to bed. I know. Then you go to bed and gone. You know they're not a substitute food, right? You can't like, I'm not going to have like a sub right now. I'm going to have three packs of gummies.

There's got to be something good about them. It is gummy. Gummy bears are good for you. No. Isn't gummy made out of a fucking horse something? Horse cum. No, not horse cum. Bugs.

Oh, Jesus. No, they make jell-o and they boil down horse bones. Whore hide. Hides and they get all the jelly juice out of the hide and the bones. and then they make jello out of it who the came up with that idea uh a fella named bonsuela 1600. he was from he was from england wasn't he johnny gelatin his name was yeah yeah that's better johnny jello johnny jello this is nice we've got some things to talk about. I printed off some things, some big news stories, funny ones.

Did you read this one about the three cows? Not yet. Well I'll tell you about it. We're gonna stop talking about the tour. We should just thank everybody that came out for the tour. It was fucking awesome. Great crowds. Yes, thank you. We're gonna have a good party here. I wish everybody remembered more of it, but I'm pretty sure I had a good time.

I apologize to the people in Hamilton who came to see us after the show, because I was, I don't remember that one. Right out of where I was. I'm a pretty drunk, bud. That was good, man. That was fun. Well, I didn't eat all day, and then I got on the liquor.

I don't remember to eat, man. I keep telling you. Got on the liquor, had some of Ricky's gummies, that I didn't know were... Aren't they wonderful, though? Ricky, I had one. I had one fucking gummy, and it was like I ate a nuclear bomb.

I didn't know what fucking planet I was on. I don't know how you can eat a whole pack of them. I don't have a clue how you can do that and still function. Well, I guess you can't if you're shitting yourself. A whole pack? No, he's had like three, four, I think even five packs at a sitting.

I was just trying to do an experiment to see how much I could take. And so far, I haven't found my limit. Well, that's fucked, Ricky. I ate one and I was fucked. You ate four or five packs of them. Like, there must be a point where you just don't get any higher.

There must be, I guess. Well, yeah, you smoke a lot of weed. You know, eventually you don't get higher, right? If you keep going. I do. get any higher there must be i guess well yeah you smoke a lot of weed you you know eventually you don't get higher right if you keep going i do oh yeah i don't know i don't know i've never really tried that i keep getting higher and higher until i black out until i pass out on me gone sleep good though then you wake up you're like, wake up four days later. No hangover and you're like, I think I need a little gummy. This picture's fucked, man.

Check out these, check out these pigs. Crash test dummy pigs. Where? That's what they're doing in China. It's pretty fucked. They're alive. They are not. Well, they were until they crashed them.

They shouldn't be allowed to do that. They're not putting live pigs in there, are they? They are, man. Strapping them right in. They're't be allowed to do that. They're not putting live pigs in there, are they? They are, man. Strapping them right in. They're not feeding them for a bit, I guess, so that when they do die, they don't get, you know, shit and everything all over the place. They're not doing that to the pigs, are they?

Immature fucking crash-test dummy pigs, man. Okay, this wasn't... They had... Holy fuck. Seven of the pigs were killed instantly. That's nice. So people are not happy. I would say so. Did they eat the pigs after they were killed? I don't know, man. I mean, they're just little guys, right? Like little babies. Little baby pigs. Well, yeah. Why would they put them in a car? Because they're putting them in baby car seats. That's bullshit, man.

Jesus Murphy. They can use a fucking dummy that does the same thing. Especially in China. They've got the technology. They can wire up a fucking crash test dummy with sensors in it. Don't they have... A pig doesn't wire... How does a pig tell you how a baby's gonna fucking fare out?

Well, they fucking, you know, they rip the thing apart after the thing's dead, and they were like, okay, it got bruised here, this is broken. It's kind of similar, man. No, it's not. Babies, human babies and fucking pigs don't have the same bone density. I know. I don't fucking know, man.

Talk to the Chinese people doing this. Mother fucked. It's weird. I don't like it. Another example of people in China being fucked. That's what that is. Strapping pigs into fucking baby seats and killing them. Don't they milk cats over there or something too? No, they do not milk cats.

They try to milk anything they can milk, but... I thought there was cat milk farms over there. There better not be. I didn't hear that. Milk and cats. They better not have milk and cat farms. You know what they... I mean, General Motors, they were using live animals right up until 1993. So, there you go.

Well, yeah, but... They wouldn't be doing it today. And PETA said, fuck you guys. 1993. 93, man. They were still using live animals. What does PETA mean? Because I thought it was just a sandwich.

Good question. PETA is the something for the ethical treatment of animals. What would it be? What would the P stand for? People for the ethical treatment of animals. What would it be? What would the P stand for? People for the ethical treatment of animals. That's it, Pubs. Is that what it stands for? That's right.

It's PETA with an E, Ricky, not PETA like the sandwich. Why isn't it PETA? Well, I don't know. It's PETA. Yeah, you're right. This one guy from PETA said about the pigs, pigs don't naturally sit up in car seats. Their anatomy is also very different from that of humans.

Precisely. So they're not getting an accurate reading. Would you put your baby in a car seat where it was all designed off a pig? Pig tested? I wouldn't. Pig tested. Pigs were pulverized. Pig approved. In this fucking crash course.

Of course they were. I definitely wouldn't put my kid in a car seat where the pig died well i don't think they sell maybe some of these seats are fucking really good because these pigs died maybe they're like the perfect car seat maybe they're not too would you put put a baby in there i wouldn't i would not be putting pigs in car seats did eat a... Did you give me something with a gummy in it? It's probably a story from last night, man. No. Because I still feel a little tingly, lingley. No, no.

Something's coming on here in a way where... You know what? You should do another one. It'll bring you right down. Ricky. This theory you have of when you're getting too high to take more drugs to bring you down, it does not work.

Speaking of pigs, what were you saying about the cows? Speaking of pigs, how's your mom? That was real funny, bubs, real funny. All right, what were you saying about the cows? The cows. Did you read this? Three cows who were swept off the coast during Hurricane Dorian. That's a cocksucker that hit us. They managed to survive.

The cows in question were part of a wild herd of 20 cows that roamed private land on Cedar Island, North Carolina. on Cedar Island, North Carolina. A trio of cows were among those presumed dead until recently when they were all discovered living in the Cape Lookout National Seashore Park on the Outer Banks. Wow, so they found a better home. They swam five fucking miles. I heard the cows are good swimmers and they can surf.

Or elephants, man. Who gives a fuck? They what? Don't they surf the waves or something? Cows? No. Surfing cows. I thought I heard something about that.

You might have when you were high, Ricky. That's not true. Surfing cows. They can swim, they can surf. They can body surf. No, they couldn't. Think of it. That's probably how they got the fucking island.

Big wave and they just rode it. I'm surprised that a cow can swim. He's a big bastard. He's very floaty. Fucking elephants, man, and hippos. I know, I guess it's just weird. Cows would be very floaty, I would think. They get the little legs going,

doing a little cow paddle. Why would you think cows are floaty, Ricky? Because they're bigger, like a boat. They're not built like a boat, though. A boat is designed to be floaty. Well, like a big submarine with a head, I guess, or something. I don't know. They have a bunch of stomachs, don't they, cows?

They have several stomachs. Well, if they fill them up with air, they're floating, man. I guess if they swallow a bunch of air. Well, they can breathe underwater anyway, can't they? Cows? I don't think so, man. Oh, yeah, cows can. They anyway, can't they? Cows? I don't think so, man. Oh, yeah, cows can.

They have gills. Right? They hold their breath or something, isn't it? They have water tanks in their backs and they walk in the desert. It's like they're amphibious. Is that what it's called? How did you know that word? I've been looking at books when I'm high, and I remember certain words.

Amphibious is a big word for Rick. It's a pretty fucking word, man. Very big word. I almost said amphibians, but they're not amphibians, are they? No, they are not. No, man. Do they come from the amphibious-leaning family? No. No, they're not amphibians.

They have nothing to do with amphibians. Cows are mammals. They'd have to be mammals. Well, a whale's a mammal, isn't it? Or is that a fish? A fish is a whale. A whale is a fish. A whale of a fish.

Aw, Ricky, I ate something that had gummies in it. No kidding, man. I'm fucking starting to zone out here. I love them. I know you do. So I might be trying to get a job for NASA. Thought you might want to know about that. I know about this job.

If I don't get this job, I am going to be pissed. I've always wanted to work for NASA. Do you know about this job NASA's offering? It's a great program. They will pay you $18,000 in U.S. dollars, which are probably better than our dollars, are they? Yes. To stay in bed and smoke weed for 70 days straight.

Job of a lifetime for old Ricky boy. 18 grand, 70 days straight they need you to stay in bed and smoke dope. Which I've got lots of practice, good resume for that. Well, you've done that for free. I've never done 70, but I bet you I've done 10. Are you allowed to like exercise or anything? I don't know. You have to exercise in bed.

You could still probably touch yourself and do all the things you normally do in bed. You know, okay, why are they doing this? It's an experiment. Because they're trying to get people to go up to fucking Mars or something when that starts, when they get that going, right? Yeah. They're like, okay, they're going to go at the stoners and say,

we did studies. You can be big the whole fucking time. They're not going to put stoners. So how many days does it take to get to Mars? Because if it's 70, that's a big coincidence. No, it's more than that, Ricky. It's like a couple of years to get to Mars. Mars is way the fuck out there. So that's what they must do, is shifts, I guess.

A couple people go to bed for 70 days and smoke weed while the other guys drive. Then they get up, the other guys go to bed for 70 days. Or space stations, for 70 days. Or space stations every 70 days. Travel to the space station. There's no space stations. Well, it's going to happen.

That's what I'm saying, man. It's the future. They're not going to have space stations just sitting out in the middle of space. Why wouldn't they? Why, yeah. Like a Home Depot. They've got one up there, yeah. Like a home depot. They've got one up there, man.

We're going to put one 70 days away. They need supplies. It's like a fucking gas station. They need more weed. Yeah, but what does that have to do with getting stoned for 70 days? You could be baked the entire flight. It's probably to see if people would be happy. Exactly.

Who wants to fucking be trapped? No one wants to travel. You said two years to get fucking Mars? It's more than that. I think it's four years. That's... How long? Type it into your machine.

How long does it take to get to Mars? That's what I need to know. Oh, well... It would really suck if it took that long, and then you got there, and you were like, this isn't that great. Then what? Another four years back? I'm telling you, when you got there and you were like, this isn't that great. Then what? Another four years back?

I'm telling you when you got there, you would definitely say this is not that great. 150 to 300 days, depending on the speed of the fucking launch. That's not bad. That's it? Earth, Mars, yeah, man. So...

150 days. So we're talking like space. 70 times two. That's right. Around two. Around two. It is not a coincidence. They're going to build a space station 70 days out. Yeah.

And then they're going to fucking. Full of weed. Mars. So you can refill and spend another 70 days. It's like a little 70 day party. And they're going to fucking get some smart stoners to do it, man. Fuck it. I'm going to Mars. Well, I said smart stoners, Ricky.

Ricky. You're not dumb, but you're, you know. I'd be good at something on Mars. It's gotta be more than 150 days to get to Mars. What do you do on Mars? Do you just have to shovel stuff? Read me what it says. The total journey time from Earth to Mars takes between 150 to 300 days, depending on the speed of the launch, the alignment of Earth and Mars, and the length of the journey the spacecraft takes

to reach its target. But under a year, worst case scenario. Under a year, man, you're in Mars. Fuck, let's do it, boys. My information is incorrect. Let's do it. Let's fucking go to the blue planet. We're on the fucking blue planet, Ricky.

The other one. Isn't there another one? The red planet. Which one's the... Mer... Mer... Merlery? Merlery.

Name the planets, Ricky. From the sun going out. Earth. No, from the sun going out. What's the little baby guy? Merlery? Merlery. Then what's next?

Rhymes with penis. Venus. Then Earth. Then Earth. Mars? Marss. Mars. Mars Bar. Mars Bar. The one that was the car company named their things after.

Saturn. Yes. Juniper. Juniper. Yeah. My anus. Your anus and my anus. No, you got another one in there.

Fuck! What does it look like? It's got a very cold surface temperature, mostly nitrogen. It's blue. Oh, yeah, yeah. Fucking, uh... No, I'm not gonna get it. It starts with an A.

I know it does, but I don't know the rest of the letters. E. P. Neep. Neep. Planet Neep. How can you get it with an E-P as a clue? Then my anus, and then Pluto.

Is that a planet, though? Because there was some debate, wasn't there? Pluto is back to being classed as a planet, I believe. Wow. Sometimes Mars is closer than sometimes it's not, isn't it? Well, yes, it's got an elliptical orbit. So if you blast it off right as it came close, you'll probably get there in a couple of days.

No, that's when it's 150 days. Yeah, it's 150 days, you're right, Buzz. Well, it's quicker than I thought it was, so there you go. So we're not against doing it then? No, I'd let you go up for 150 days, Ricky. Here's another thing you could make bigger money on, though. What? There's a British couple offering $40,000 full-time work

taking care of two golden retrievers. Don't do it. I would do it. What's a golden retriever? You know what a golden retriever is, man? It's a dog, Ricky. You're a dog sitter. Remember that fucking dog?

Oh, the fucking Labrador? Yeah, the basketball-playing one. Remember that guy? Yeah. No. Remember? Air Bud? You've lost you the thousand-

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Air Bud, the golden retriever. Yeah times. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Air Bud, the golden retriever. Yeah. $40,000 for full-time dog sitter to take care of their two golden retrievers and you get to live at the house. It's a live-in dog sitter. Done.

Done. Sign me up. Where do I go? How do I get there? Well, I don't really... I'm good with dogs, I think. Full-time live-in caretaker for Milo and Austin. You don't have to walk them, though, do you? Well, yes, Ricky.

Pick up their... Pick up their shit. All right. Feed them. I think I'd rather go to the Nisa place and lay in bed for 70 days. But you only make half the money that way. 40,000 is a lot of money. What would I do with all that?

Is that like in 40,000 pounds or doleros? Well, that's a good question. It says $40,000, but I bet you it's 40,000 pounds. Is that more or less? That's a lot more. That's like $85,000. Shut your front talk. Here's a good one too here, Julian,

that might get you turned on the brussels yes well what an 82 year old bodybuilder female bodybuilder oh there you go 82 year old female body single. Defended her home from an intruder. Man broke into a home in Rochester, New York. Did not end well for him. 82-year-old Willie Murphy. Ex-Marine. No, she's a bodybuilder. Oh, this is a, okay.

Oh, no, sorry. Willie Murphy's the intruder. He starts pounding on her door saying, I need an ambulance. I need an ambulance. So she says, okay, I'll call you an ambulance, but I'm not letting you in. So he busts the door down. Okay? Then she says, it's kind of semi-dark and I'm alone and I'm old, but guess what?

I'm tough as fuck. Right on. 82 years old. Right on. She's an award-winning bodybuilder. She picked up a fucking table and smashed him with a table. Is there a picture of her? No.

So what's the deal? Nothing for you to beat off to. She smashed him with a table. The table broke in half, so she took one of the metal legs and beat him almost to death. So how can I make money with her? Is this a job? What do I got to do? No, there's no making money.

I just thought you might like it because she's bodybuilding like you do. But she's an old lady. Tough as fuck. Shoot a porno with her. Yes, you could shoot a porno with her. I'm not gonna shoot a porno. Let's see if she wants to shoot a porno with you.

She could probably bench press you. She's 82, man. She's 82, but she's tough as fuck. She's an award-winning bodybuilder from the YMCA. And then she jumped on him a couple times. What? She ran to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of baby shampoo

and squirted it in his face. That would suck. To blind him. Then she beat him with the table leg more. Stupid cock sucker. He's not... She's a tough lady, man. Tough lady. Beat the piss out of Willie Murray. Then she beat him with the table leg more. Stupid cocksucker. He's not... She's a tough lady, man. Tough lady.

Beat the piss out of Willie Murphy. There's got to be a video of her here. Fuck Willie Murphy. Where the fuck did this story come from? Did you find that? With the bank cards? Yeah. Yeah.

Is that a real thing? It's real. Read it out, Ricky. Woman found with 23 stolen bank cards in her vagina. How many? 23. 23? That's a stackable.

She's got a little wallet down there. That's a stack. It's a good place to keep your cards. That's a purse. That's not, uh, okay, here, we have her. Check this out. 82-year-old grandmother who lives there. And here she is, Willie Murphy, in her own out. 82-year-old grandmother who lives there. And here she is.

Willie Murphy, in her own words. Oh, it is Willie Murphy. A young man is in my home. Broke the door. And you know what? It's kind of semi-dark, and I'm alone, and I'm old, but guess what? I'm tough.

Oh, fuck. And you want to know what happened? She's over. He picked the wrong house to break into. I took that table, Oh, fuck. She ever. Nice. Juking him. Awesome. You go, girl. them and when he's down i'm jumping on him awesome you go girl the telephone is still on for 9-1-1 i'm running in the kitchen there's a bottle of baby shampoo on the table i grabbed the shampoo

and guess what he's still on the ground and his face all of it, the whole thing. And he's trying to get up, and he's pulling. And I got the broom, and he's pulling the broom. And I'm hitting him. I'm hitting him with the broom, hitting him. And guess what? He wants to get the heck out of there. And I'm trying to help him get out of the house, but he's too heavy.

I can't move him. He's dead weight. And at that time, the police arrived on the porch. And the house is already open. She pounded the fuck out of him. Eat this shit. He's laying down already. I can't stop watching her.

Her name is Willie Murphy. I thought the intruder was Willie Murphy. Do not fuck with Willie Murphy. Don't fuck with Willie Murphy. Good for her, man. That's awesome. Good for her. You shouldn't be Don't fuck with Willie Murphy. It's good for her, man. That's awesome. Good for her. You shouldn't be breaking into people's houses anyway,

especially old ladies. Especially old ladies. Well, I mean. They don't deserve that. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah, you don't break into a house with people in it, 100%. No. Old Willie Murphy pounded the fuck out of them.

So, yes, back to this one, Ricky. 23 stolen bank cards in her vagina. Yeah, that's a weird one. How'd she get caught? She was trying to use them at a bank, and the security guy's like, what the fuck is the deal with this person? So she went down digging.

She had to dig some out. And once they arrested her, yeah, they found 23 of them. And then what the fuck? Are you kidding me? Nope. She was going to dig some out. And once they arrested her, yeah, they found 23 of them. And then what the fuck? Are you kidding me? Nope. She was going to dig it out and say, here, pay for it. No, Ricky, she wasn't digging them out.

No, no, she went to a bank machine, but she was using multiple cards. Oh, I thought she was like Walmart or something. They found them in there when they arrested her. Yeah, they arrested her and she had a whole, running a whole bank out of there. She's running a whole system out of there. Wow. If you stacked up 23 cards, how much would it be? That'd be about that thick, wouldn't it?

That's a lot of cards, man. It's not that big. Well, Ricky, you know, you're putting, it's like a, you know, two decks of cards. Where's all your stolen credit cards? I got some cards. They're not in your bum purse, are they? Nope, they are right here. All right, this is what 23 cards looks like.

Those are all stolen. Well, there's a couple things, you know, that's to get into a door. Okay, stack them up. How many you got there? I'm just curious. Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. Okay, so that's about half the stack. That's half. Well, that's nothing.

Well, Ricky, yeah, like I said, it would be like putting two decks of cards up your arse. You wouldn't think we would be very comfortable. That's quite a thing to get in there. It's an odd shape. I don't think the vagina would be used to it. It wouldn't be used to a shape like that. A block? Unless you live in Minecraft land. If you lived in Minecraft world, it would be used to it

because they have square wieners. Minecraft world? If you lived in Minecraft world everything's made out of blocks. Did you hear about this fucking horse shit where some guy duct taped a banana to a wall and said it was art and it sold for 120 grand? What the fuck is that all about? Why can't we do something like that? Some cocksucker went into the place where the exhibit was and ate the banana. That's a pretty good fuck you.

But then the company that owned it, that sold it to this other guy said, it didn't matter, the banana wasn't the art, it was the duct tape. It's fucked. What the fuck is wrong with this world? See, I can duct tape bananas to walls. It's no problem.

I've done it. You have done it, Axel. Why don't we fucking duct tape some bananas here, take a picture, and see what happens? Just roll with it. See if we can get it up to... I'd be happy with like $1,500. You should change it up, maybe do an apple.

$15,000? $120,000. Somebody fucking paid for it. I know, I know. Yeah, we could get a bargain. That's what I'm saying. 20 grand. Okay, here's a story, boys.

Two for one bananas. Now, this has happened to me many times. Many times. You got an erection in public? No. Man accused of shoplifting has to drop pants to prove suspicious bulge is his penis. He must have had a big one.

He was... Or maybe he got it hard on. That's funny. Window fitter Steve Whitehurst. He was buying a bunch of stuff and they said, Hey, bud, I know you paid for your stuff, but clearly you're stealing some stuff. He said, No, that's just all natural stuff down there and they wouldn't believe him.

So he offered to go into a stall with a male clerk and security were like, no, that's not going to be good enough. So he's like, all right then. Woof, whips out his big dong. Whips out his big dong. And everybody gasped And was like, holy fuck Did they apologize?

He's not stealing Is he suing? They thought he was stealing a coil of rope What's a window fitter? It doesn't matter, Ricky Well, I just think he's probably in the wrong profession He could be making a lot of money with something like that What would he be What should he of money with something like that.

What would he be, what should he be doing with his big wang? Well, porn would be the obvious answer. Yeah, there's a lot of people in porn with big wangers. Naked model. Here, there's one other one here that I want to tell you about. This is cool. Gotta hurry, man,

because I'm done. KFC opened in Tokyo. Yep. Mm-hmm. Listen to this now. So this is the most unique KFC in the world They've got an all-you-can-eat buffet Holy fuck Full menu, you pay 18 bucks And you can eat as much as you want

What a great idea, let's go KFC But listen to this one This shows you the difference between Japan and Canada. For an extra 12 bucks, they also have an alcohol bar and it's all you can drink. No way.

Holy fuck. 12 bucks! It's just because the Japanese don't drink that much. They have a couple drinks and that's it. So 30 bucks. We'll go over there and put that fucking place in the business. Fuck yeah. That's what I mean.

Can you imagine? 12 bucks, you just fucking belly up, sit there all day. Fucking driving, checking into you. Crank and let her down. Let's go. Let's go. That would be good for like at night, but then you'd get sick of it, right? Not the booze. Let's go to the... I gotta go to the mall anyway.

Let's go into the flight center and see what three tickets to Japan would cost. I'm in. Fuck yeah. Okay, tune in next week and we might be in Japan.