Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 37 - Twelve Rounds With Tyson

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

F**k, it's colder than a snowman's cock out there! Cozy up with the Boys as they discuss Sting's greasy sex yoga, making scrilla from DNA, and Ricky's Titanic switcheroo theory. Plus: Get yer tickets for the Sexian vs Tyson gummy-off in Las Vegas!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Sharpay is a sharp looking dog. That's all I'm trying to say. Sharpay. Is it a sharp looking dog or a Sharpay looking dog? Sharpay is a sharp looking dog. That's all I'm trying to say. Sharpay. Is it a sharp looking dog or a sharpay looking dog? Sharpay is a sharp looking dog. That's all I'm trying to say. I know you don't like dogs much

but what is your favorite dog? Sharpay. With a name like Sharpay you have to be a dick. Do they got like a pointy fucking nose? What is a Sharpay? What do they look like? The wrinkled dogs.

Oh, fuck. Dick dogs. Fuck that, man. What's nicer looking than a wrinkled dogs. Oh, fuck. Dick dogs. Fuck that, man. What's nicer looking than a wrinkled dog? Pretty much every other dog. No, those wrinkly bastards with all that extra skin. Your mom kind of looked like a wrinkled dog back in the day. No, no, she didn't.

She looked like a model. Oh, I'm thinking about her. They were a little bit wrinkly dog looking. Her. Really? You saw them? Her. Jugs.

What? Terrible. Welcome to the Perk After Dark. Yeah, what is it? It's February, boys. This is the shitty, if you don't live in Canada, people out there, this is the shittiest fucking month in Canada, February. We've had a pretty easy winter, but today is fucking freezing.

It's like minus 20-something Celsius. It feels like minus 30-something. It's fucking cold. It's minus 27 out right now. Fuck. But there's a lot of other places down south that are even colder. Not colder than minus 27. I don't think today.

I don't know, man. But on fucking Monday, it was like 8 degrees. 10 degrees? Yeah, 10 degrees. Reach 10 degrees? That's shit. You know what? That's fucked up, man.

That's like West Coast weather. Now we're dealing with some polar vortex bullshit. Whatever the fuck that is. Polar bears are fucked up. Your mother used to have a polar vortex, didn't she? She did have that for a little while, yeah. She was quite cold to the touch inside. Whoa, what do you mean, man?

Cold to the touch on the inside. Wow. Just going to stretch it out. Have you been working out or something? No, I'm just janky-janked. Doing yoga still? I don't do yoga, Ricky. I wouldn't know the first fucking thing about yoga.

Do you meditate? I've tried it. Do you do... Downward cat? Yeah, the downward cat. I would if there the first fucking thing about yoga. Do you meditate? I've tried it. Do you do... Downward cat? Yeah, the downward cat. I would if there was such a thing. What about that tantric shit? Like Sting?

Yeah. Sting? I could see you hooking up with Sting talking about this shit. Tantrosexual. Getting into the moves. Encounters. I don't do dirty sting sex stuff. He bangs a lot, man.

Well, he bangs for long periods of time. Like 10-hour sessions. So you mean he's got like a hard wank for 10 hours? Yeah, he takes it right to the... Takes it to the limit. And then he shuts her down. Yoga sex. Takes a break.

That's what it is, isn't it? It's basically yoga sex, isn't it? Doing like a one-hand arm stand and getting things in mouths. He's doing one-arm things, but then he's got like a hard unit and banging. He doesn't do a one-arm handstand and get his bird in somebody's mouth, Ricky. That's not, I don't think, what it's about. Maybe. Now I've got that image in my head of Sting.

Is he still banging hard? He's got to be, what, 70-something now, isn't he? I believe Sting is 72. He's still pounding like a motherfucker. Yes. All yoga. Medicated or non-medicated? No.

Man, he's got it in the brain. He's got it figured out. Wow. Yeah. All right, brain. You're going to get some blood flowing down to the parts there, and we're going to get her going. Come on.

Fuck, that'd be cool to have that kind of control. He's like a fucking, he's like Yoda. You guys are really impressed with Sting's sexual abilities. I saw an interview last night. He was talking about, not this, but I was like, that motherfucker. Were you staring at his crotch? No, he was sitting down and I wouldn't stare at it anyway. I'm just saying this old motherfucker.

He was sitting down and I couldn't get a look at it. He's banging hard. Did you go up to the TV and try to see down where his unit would be? Bluffs, man. That's fucked. All right. I can't fucking believe it's February, really. I guess that's good, because that means spring is coming sometime.

Well, March isn't that bad, is it? Or is it fucked? Has March been fucked lately? Weather-wise? March, it's only February. I know, but I'm thinking, we get through February and then March is like, I don't remember? March. It's only February. I know, but I'm thinking we get through February and then March is like...

I don't remember last March. What the fuck? I don't either, man. How can I do that? I can't remember last week. We're getting rid of the cold here shortly, gentlemen. We're going to Vegas

next week. Yes, we are going to be in Las Vegas. On the 8th and 9th, isn't it? I believe. Yes. Did I fuck that up?

Are people going to come see us? At the... Is it chance? Can people come see this thing? Like, isn't it? I believe. Yes. Or did I fuck that up? Are people going to come see us? Is it a chance? Can people come see this thing? Like, what is it? I think so. It's a big global, I don't know. It's like a smoke show, I think. It's like a smoke show.

I'm a big fan of it. It's like a trade show for smokes and edibles and all that type of thing. We're going to have hemp smokes and gummies that we will be selling. And I think it's pretty much legal. We can go to dispensaries. Oh, fuck.

It's going to be a trip. We have a new gummy coming out called D9 something. Oh, man. So we're basically going to be baked and body buzzed. Big time. Two days straight. Las Vegas, March 8th and 9th. I think it's called the Champs.

Smoke off. Show. And fucking Mike Tyson is going to be with us, right next to us. March 8th and 9th. I think it's called the Champs. Smoke-off. Show. And fucking Mike Tyson's going to be with us, right next to us. Don't get any ideas. What do you mean? Well, you've always wanted to sort of spar with him. I might want to spar with him a little bit because he's the fucking man. Mike Tyson would knock the tits off you.

He would destroy us. He would destroy all three of us. Not if we had a gun, though, but... Oh, yeah. If you wouldn't try to fight Mike Tyson, would you? Oh, man. Did you see him in the last fight? Yes.

He's still just a fucking killing machine. He is, man. He would punch a hole right through you. His legs are like the size of your upper body. Well, he's fucking... Because he's Mike Tyson, boys. Oh, I'm not, yeah. He's the man.

He is. So, okay, we're going to make a rule. No taunting Mike Tyson, please. But you know what you could do? If you got a hold of him. Here we go. If you got a hold of him, maybe put him in a rear naked choke or something. Got him to the ground.

I don't know, man. No, he'd get out of it. But I'm saying that might be your only move that would be your own like if you get in close and fucking haul him down because you're a bit bigger maybe taller i don't know no i don't want strong i don't want to let's just make a deal that nobody taunts mike tyson no which means maybe we got to bring down the liquor levels a little bit and maybe more yeah Yeah, because you know I'm going to be chirping. You're going to be fucking chirping. He's not that tough.

Look at him. I could take him. I mean, he wants to fucking wrestle a bear. I know. All right, you know what? No booze for you in Las Vegas. One more round, Mike Tyson. No, because he's still, you know, he's calmed down now that he's on the weed more,

but he's still, it's like poking a bear. Yeah, he's a nice guy. We've met him a couple times. We have met him, and he's a lovely man. When he's high, he's great. You just don't want to taunt him, and I know somebody's going to. All right, don't get him drinking. All right, don't be offering Mike Tyson booze.

Gummies. Give him the gummies. I can just see him already. Fuck you, Tyson, you pussy. If you got him body stoned, you might have a shot. You, Chalice, do a gummy off, man. You could eat way more gummies than him, I bet. Even though.

His gummies are shaped like ears. Yeah. With a bite out of them, because he bit a Vander Holyfield's ear off. Yeah, and they're not legal in Denver, or in Colorado, I guess, because they're not allowed to have gummy body parts or some shit. Really? Wow. Well, I guess there goes the gummy wiener fucking idea I had.

So here's a fucking, remember what we were talking about, the girl that sent the DNA off for the Santa, the cookies and the carrots? Yes. Well, guess what? They were not able to confirm or refute the presence of Santa's DNA. Something magical may be at play were the quotes. They did find reindeer DNA on the carrots. So as much as you guys have been telling me he's not real,

I'm starting to think you guys are fucking down. What the fuck are you talking about? Is this like an actual news story? Yeah. Correct. And there's DNA? No, man. This little girl's sending cookies and carrots to the police and said, I want you to fucking check these for DNA. I want to know if Santa's real.

He's real. Well, it doesn't say he's real. It doesn't say he's not. It's the cops trying to look like fucking good guys. That's what it is. Well, if it was the mom and dad, they'd be like, no, that's your parents' DNA on there. Sorry, sweetheart. Santa's not real.

How much does it cost to get DNA testing done? What, 10 grand? It's got to be 50 bucks. Oh, okay. 50 bucks. Maybe it's more than that. It's about 10 grand, so I'm guessing it can actually go there. Why aren't we in the DNA business?

It seems like a lot of money. What the fuck do you know about DNA? What do you need, a microscope and some slides? You got to know what you're looking for, Rick. It's like, let's put a fuck, what do you think? Just put a piece of like a toenail on a slide, look at it, and go, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to know what you're looking for, man.

It's not the guy. We'll just get you a microscope down at Toys R Us, Ricky, and you'll be fucking running a DNA lab. Why don't you just look at a drop of blood and say, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, what? That's what makes him up. Oh, my fuck, man. That's what makes him up.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I see all the parts. Oh, fuck. I see all the parts to this guy. Well, we don't know that he's not real, which is good. Keeps the mystery alive. Yeah. No, we're not going to talk anymore about this, are we?

No. We could talk about this guy. You've talked about him a bit because you want to become like him, but you don't have the money. This tech mogul guy who spends $2 million a year to get a teenage body. Yeah, man. That guy, he's...

If you had the money, would you do it? Would you want the muscles of an 18-year-old? You're talking about Byron Johnson. He's a tech entrepreneur. Who? The premier, prime minister of England. I didn't know his name. He's Byron Johnson, yeah.

He spends two million bucks a year. He said he's got the fucking heart. How old? The 45. He's got the heart of an 18-year-old. Heart of a 37-year-old. He's got the skin of a 28-year-old. Yep.

He's got the heart of a 38-year-old. Lung capacity of an 18-year-old. 18-year-old. That was it. Fuck. Sold his company to eBay for $800 million. What is it? What kind of company?

Software of some sort. Muscle company? Could be. He's got 30 fucking doctors and health experts working for him to make him. See, you know what he's doing? He's figuring this shit out, and then once he figures it out, he's going to party like a motherfucker. He's going to drink every day, do do drugs takes two dozen supplements a day he has monthly

colonoscopies colonoscopies man he checks out blood tests ultrasounds MRIs fuck so his job Nate right now is to figure out how not to age that's a good fucking mission yeah but he's wasting his life trying to figure it out, and then he's going to be 60 or 70 going, Oh, look, I'm just like I'm 50. He's in fucking some good shape. Or he could be 150, banging like Sting. No, he's not going to be out of it.

With still 600 million bucks in the bank. Yeah, maybe. Fuck, what a time. Do you want to bet he's not going to live to 150? He's probably one of these cocksuckers that's going to get hit by a bus.

Well, there's no way of us betting on something like that, Bob Smith. No, I'll bet on it. No, he's like... You wouldn't suck if he spent all that money

and just dies in a couple of years. So does he... Is he hooked up to machines all the time? Well, no, if he's fucking on the transplant list, he might be a good guy to keep in your back pocket. But is he on... Like, is he hooked up to machines all the time if he's fucking on the transplant list might be a good guy to keep in your back pocket but is he on like is he hooked up to machines

all the time or does he actually he has daily tests yeah some shit but he's not working he's getting 800 million bucks in the bank come on prick my finger here we go gonna get on the treadmill all right i'm rich he doesn't. He says he does like a high intense workout for an hour three times a week. That's not a lot. That's not a lot, man. Goes to bed

at the same time every night. Gets up at 5 a.m. So I don't get up at 5 but I go to bed kind of early. And I don't know if he just eats powders and chemicals

or what the fuck he eats. I don't know. I think he's missing out. I don't think I do it. Yeah, like fuck that. Does he have as much fun as us? Yes. He's got 800 million fucking dollars.

They're not getting into the good stuff he does. That's the thing. They're just taking... This is like a fucking article about science. But you gotta live your life, man. He's probably banging 10 times a day. Bet he doesn't smoke. Lame.

Bet he doesn't drink. Lame. I bet you he's not a drinker. No, he's definitely not a drinker, which, yeah, maybe this guy is fucked. All right. Fuck him. 800 million, you know what I'd be doing? I'm spending 800 million bucks.

Yep. Throughout my life on him fun. Yeah, I'm not giving a fucking penny to anybody. Nope. All me, baby. I'll buy you some booze, dude. Don't worry, buddy. How about charity? Maybe you could give something to charity. I want to die.

You guys want to move to Philadelphia? No. Yeah. That's where Rocky did his training. I know, man. Yeah, all you needed was that big, long set of stairs. They're in desperate need of lifeguards, so if you guys want to have a change of career, they're so desperate that they'll even hire people who can't swim.

No, they're not. Oh, my fuck. You start off at $16 to $18 an hour, which is American money. That's over $20 Canadian. It's not a bad gig. What's the problem there? People are like, fuck that. There's not enough people to work.

Everybody's hiring and there's not enough workers. That's right. They're like, I don't want to be a fucking lifeguard. Fuck off. They'll even provide you with swimming lessons. It's Philly, man. Remind me not to go to a beach or a public pool in Philadelphia. I don't think Philly's like a Baywatch kind of fucking city.

Ah, fuck. Come and save. Ah, sorry, dude. Can't swim. Just took the job. Fuck. Or I had some swimming lessons last week for a couple days. I'm good.

Here it come. Here's a rope. What the fuck was that? Just a horn. Boys, I'm going to have to take a nap. Really? Yeah. That's what happens.

You crash after the gummies wear off. My gummies are just kicking. Why are mine just kicking in now and you're like about ready to go to sleep? I took mine early. Real early. You got to time it right, man. I need a nap, boys. Oh, man.

I went down a rabbit hole last night. I don't know if it's true or not, but apparently the Titanic may not have sank. Okay. It's a fucking, TikTok's blowing up. What the fuck you talking about, man? This girl, man, she watched all the documentaries about it, and she says it wasn't the Titanic. It was a ship called the Olympic. No. I guess they made three of them there was the britannica yeah the titanic and the olympic yeah the britannic motherfucker got sunk by a torpedo or some shit yeah and they were

saying the fucking olympic was on its last legs and it was going to cost too much to fix so they're like yeah fuck it we're gonna keep the titanic here and scrap it sell all the fucking beautiful parts and we're gonna send everybody away on the olympic what motherfucker sunk there's so many fucking yeah but there's some fucking fucking bullshit jp morgan who owned the white star company yeah at the last minute decided not to go. Yeah, that's what they're saying. And so did that Hershey guy. Like, that never happens.

Oh, my God. Somebody changed their mind? Well, a couple of the bankers that wanted to take this other guy was supposed to have all the mortgages in fucking United States. And they sent him off. How about the footage of it on the bottom of the fucking ocean? That's what I'm saying. No, they're saying it's the other one could be the olympic they were almost identical

two ships almost identical i get it you know what you're turning into jesse ventura man was it the conspiracy dude he's a cool guy. He's the fucking wrestler, man. He was a senator or something. When I first saw him, I'm like, what do you mean it didn't sink? This fucking motherfucker was buried here in Halifax. Like, it sank. But then they're like, no, no. Different ship. Butts?

Oh, my God. Thoughts? Five seconds. Fuck. Does that have anything to do with all the mortgages in the United States, man? No. Mortgages? Yeah.

The guy that went down basically had 40% of the mortgages. the United States, man. No. Mortgages? Yeah, the guy that went down, he basically had 40% of the mortgage. Oh, okay, I didn't know about that. And the other banker's like, no, no. That's what I'm hearing, man, but fuck. You hear all kinds of shit. Another rumor, there was a ton of fucking Afghani hash on the Titanic, too.

No, there wasn't. Probably got ruined in the salt water, though. Well, yeah, it's pretty fucking deep down there, bud. It's probably not still good, Ricky. You can do some tests, though. Why don't you fucking shove some hash into some salt water and see what happens? Didn't they refloat it and send a museum now? The hash?

The boat. The boat? No, they never refloated the Titanic, Ricky. They fucking tried to raise that. It's just going to crumble apart, man. They dreamt about it. They talked about it, you're right. In the 80s, they talked about it. Holy fuck, boys.

RMS Titanic. But when they went down with those little magic submarines, whatever the fuck they used, did they find the name on it or anything? They found many articles with Titanic on it. Yeah, but they could have had a moving company and went into... Oh, man, if they're gonna try to pull this off, they're probably gonna do some things to cover it up,

like paint over the fucking real... Oh, like maybe not have the name fucking Olympic up the side of her when she's leaving the fucking port? Yeah, that's good. So there's just like an old fucking, some old plywood over the name and fucking Titanic's written on there. It would have been a hell of a fucking thing to pull off, though.

Yeah, it would have been quite a thing with all the, you know, thousands of people and the news media there. J.P. Morgan sitting in his office, big fucking scarlet. Those fucking dummies. Never saw it coming. Just took a little bit of paint. A little bit of paint, and off she goes, and it's got the shit rivets. I paid fuck off for the rivets in that boat. Yeah. Good luck, everybody.

Probably turned the captain into an alcoholic, feeding him booze, free booze. Get them all wasted. Probably. Now, you know what they figured out? How they, if somebody had been thinking outside the box, they could have saved the ship. And not, it wouldn't have sunk. Yeah, that would have fucking full fucking throttle, wasn't it? Right.

There was a fucking big ice bed, you know, just a couple miles away. Yeah. And all they had to do was point at it and go full steam and it would have fucking like wedged itself up on the ice. The fuckers could have jumped off. At least it wouldn't have sank until people came to rescue them. It wouldn't have been the greatest night. No, people would have jumped off. Would have been a little chilly, probably. Probably froze to death. But if you're in the bar and the band's still playing, you could drink through it. They would have had enough time to move all the instruments

and everything out on the ice and all the liquor. And then they get fucking eaten by polar bears. No, they could have stayed on the boat until the, you know, the rescue. Oh, yeah, I never thought about that. Yeah, they could have. Would have could have, eh, bubs? They could have just sat at the bar. Yeah, you should have been there.

Pretended they just needed some, but nobody thought outside the box back in the early 1900s. Oh, I bet you there was a lot of people just getting drunk saying, fuck this. I'm getting wasted. Yeah, there was. There was. Down she went. Anybody, was anybody like getting banged or anything when it was going down? Oh, fuck yeah.

People were like, okay, honey, let's just start banging. It was just a free-for-all from what I heard. It was probably a massive orgy on the Titanic before she fucking went down. Where did you hear that, Ricky? It was in some strange magazine. That's like fucking Pinto's Forums or something. It was, I think, one of those. Yeah, man, I read that one.

So there was a big fast crazy orgy there was an announcement came over said anybody that wants to have at it no holds barred floor three please and that's where everyone the orgy floor a lot of them didn't make it but they had a lot of fun lord third floor orgy on the titanic you're handing you get off the elevator and they hand you a mask so it was all kind of, nobody knew who you were. Yeah. Right on. I don't think that happened.

Maybe. Titanic had elevators, did it? 1911? They were done by hand, but it was called a dumbwaiter. Block and tackle? A dumbwait waiter for people. A dumb waiter.

You thought dogs were dumb? Dogs can kill. A fucking dog shot a guy. I saw that. That's something. You didn't do it on purpose, though, Ricky. I don't know. He's like, yeah, you can fucking keep me in the head still too much, haven't you, you little fucker?

Didn't give me my own. Didn't give me my treats. Oops, I'm just going to step on this rifle and my paw just went into the trigger guard. Why the fucking gun was loaded in the back of the truck, I don't know. Hunters. Jack and Deer. I bet they were jacking something. A buffalo or something.

Either each other. Dog was in the back seat, stepped on the trigger, blammo. That's so fucking, what a dog. Or the fucking driver killed the guy and blamed it on the dog. DNA. It's a theory. They would have to, you know, check the dog's paw for powder burns. GSR.

What's GSR? Gunshot residue. I've had my tests done a few times. What's that? I'm impressed. I watch a few shows, you know. Keep up on the lingo. Yeah.

And what about Fireball? Oh, yeah. Dirty motherfucker. Fuck. I was wondering why you don't get banged up anymore with the little tiny fucking glass shooter Fireballs because there's no fucking whiskey in them. Why would they do that?

I mean, it's gross enough as it is, but with no booze, like, why? Because you have some fucking accountant nerd saying, I got an idea that's going to make us a fucking lot more money in 2022. We're not going to put any booze in our shooters. It's just going to be cinnamon water. It's actually a pretty good idea. It's genius. I'm glad I don't drink that shit. I'd be pissed water. It's actually a pretty good idea. It's genius.

I'm glad I don't drink that shit. I'd be pissed off. Nobody can taste it anyway because it tastes horrible. Tastes horrible, yeah. It's like Buckley's. You would never fucking know there was no booze in it. Nope. Smart man.

Unless you did 10 of them, you're like, what the fuck? I got no buzz on that. Yeah, but usually you're wasted when you're drinking that shit. It's true. Fuck them. Fuckers. I hope they collapse. You hear about the chick in actually Sudbury?

No, the chick in Sudbury, Ontario. There's lots of chicks there. She was leaving to go to work. She forgot her keys. She says to her friend, hey, check me my keys. She goes to catch it. She misses. The key goes right into her fucking face, into her skull.

An inch and a half in there. Who was throwing them? A fucking major league pitcher? That's what I'm thinking, man. They got fucking, they got x-rays and shit. Yeah, but how fucking hard she talks to keys that they embedded themselves in her skull. I'm thinking it must have been, she might have, could have been up in an apartment and threw them down maybe. Like 13 stories maybe.

They'd have to reach terminal velocity. Did she fire them out of an air cannon? Don't know, man. Nope, she's just the way they fucking had her. I was going to say they went in her mouth and she choked to death, which makes more sense. Did she die? No.

No. A few stitches. They got the fucking thing out. Did she die? No. No. No. A few stitches.

They got the fucking thing out. And it went into like some kind of nasal cavity right there in the front of her face. Where did they take her to get surgery? Home Depot? No, man. They didn't. They just installed a fucking big wiser. Big wiser lock in her face.

Maybe. I don't know, man know man maybe it wasn't even that funny yes it was if it happened during coven she had one of those little shields on she would have been fun or it would have embedded in the shield i'm still having trouble figuring how fast the keys must be traveling is pretty fast get stuck right into our cheek. I tried to read more on it, but your fucking internet is fucked in here. I'm sorry that I'm not fucking the president of AOL. No, you're not, man.

AOL, that big internet service provider. AOL. AOL. The one everybody uses. I swear I wasn't sleeping with Ted Rogers and got free high speed internet. Sleeping with Ted Rogers? Who's Ted Rogers? Yeah, man. Isn't he the guy that started Rogers?

I don't know. I don't know either. Ted... No, I'm thinking of a different Ted. Who were the most famous Teds of all time? Ted... No, I'm thinking of a different Ted. Who were the most famous Teds of all time? There was one. Teddy Roxman.

Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah. Ted Bundy. There was another Ted, though. Ted Bundy. Ted Kaczynski. Oh, he was a good guy. Unabomber. No, no, he wasn't a good guy.

No, he was not a good guy. He was blowing people up, Ricky. Ted. That's all the Teds I can think of. Wasn't there a Ted that started CNN? That's a different guy. Was it Ted Turner? Ted Turner.

Where did that come from? Ted Knight. What about Ted Knight? He was great. Yeah. Shug Knight. Mary Tyler Moore, man. Ted Knight and Shug Knight were not related, Ricky. Should have been. Ted Knight? He was great. Yeah. Shug Knight? Married Tyler Moore, man. Ted Knight and Shug Knight were not related, Ricky.

Should have been. Ted Knight was. They looked nothing alike. No, Shug Knight did not look like a white man with white hair. Fucking woman in Brazil gave birth to a 16-pound baby. That would be interesting. How'd she? That's like a bowling ball.

How'd she get it out? They had to cut him out. You fucking wouldn't want to send one of those down the vaginal cave pathway. You do not want that kind of thing. A lot of tearing going on there, I would think. Jesus, boys. Yeah, Ricky. What's boys?

Don't boys me. I didn't say anything. That's the power of edibles. You start laughing about stupid shit like that, eh? That's a good time. Fucking biggest baby ever born. 1955, 22 pounds in Italy. Jesus.

22? What the hell? I hope they had C-sections back then. That's like a fucking butterball turkey, a huge butterball turkey. That's a big fucking butterball. That's a fucking, like, you know. So you got born on February 3rd. Norman Rockwell, is he anybody we know?

Old Normie. Norman Rockwell. Some of the nicest paintings ever painted. On plates, yeah, he worked solely on plates. He did. Pretty Boy Floyd? Yeah. He's a good boxer, man. Oh, he's a bank robber. He's an old bank robber.

Oh, Pretty Boy Floyd. I was thinking of a fucking... What were you thinking of, Floyd Mayweather? I'm sitting here... Holy fuck, George Nissen got born on February the 3rd. Oh, big deal. Yeah. You know who he was? George Nissen got born on February the 3rd. Oh, big deal. Yeah.

You know who he was? George Nissen? Take a guess. George Nissen. He's an inventor. Brought millions of hours of joy. Fucking right he did. People.

He invented trampolines. Yes. How'd you know that? One of my favorite things to do when I'm super high. Yeah, you know how many people are getting fucked over in those things? If he was still alive, he'd be fucking around. One of my favorite things to do when I'm super high. Yeah, you know how many people are getting fucked over in those things? If he's still alive, he'd be fucking... Well, what he didn't invent was a little mesh protector that went around them. No, that's...

You need to have one of those. Yeah, a lot of people died because of George, actually. Yeah. Yeah, George. Doctors will say... A lot of broken necks. Doctors will say, don't go on a fucking trampoline. Henry Heimlich.

Heimlich. Heimlich. Oh,lich. Heimlich. Oh, that's why. Okay, that makes sense now. That's why it's called that. How many times have we done Heimlich on him? 20? 20?

Really? 21, 22? Yeah, most of the times you don't fucking remember. It's usually potato chips. Fuck. Or potatoes. Potatoes. Who fucking dares someone to try to swallow a whole potato?

Who does it? Who listens to swallow a whole potato? Who does it? Who listens to them and tries it? There's 20 bucks on the table. I squeezed so many fucking potatoes out of you. Morgan Fairchild. What? Oh, Morgan Fairchild.

Tiger Williams, he was a tough motherfucking hockey player. Yeah? Yeah, Tiger. Tiger. Broad Street Bully. We ran out of time here, man. All right. It doesn't matter who else. You've got five seconds to say goodbye.

Is that it? Yeah. What? Goodbye. No, no. It has to be the best goodbye you've said so far in 2023. It has to be heartfelt. Why?

I don't know. Because. All right, everybody. It's 2023. We love you to death, all of you guys. Just wanted to say have a good day, and we'll see you next week. See, that was great. Goodbye, everybody.

Cheers. See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.